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Because everyone in life takes everyone else for granted at some stage. Prejudice exists in everyone, people are dying in the streets whilst others walk by to their 9-5 complaining about the food they eat and the clothes that they wear. we all live for our own greedy purposes, and we are all okay with that.
>>557666889 Ultimately true altruism is non existent, anything we do, we do because we WANT to, because it makes us happy, and that is a good thing, Individual benefit, and collective benefit overlapping.
As for people's attitude. That depends on where they are in life,everyone uses their life as the benchmark, the norm, the average, and thus end up feeling that there is more to life.
>girlfriend died >took up drinking again >it's gotten out of hand >want to quit but when I get drunk I hallucinate my dead girlfriend >now drinking is the only time I feel happy because I get to see her >it's ruining the rest of my life but I don't care
Suffering a bit from my morale conscious, living in Japan currently, feeling bad since everyone around me says my ways are making me bad (AKA Use PC, keep to myself, be American-fag), however whenever I try to integrate, or try my best it's not enough or I'm seen as a joke or a threat.
This has happened at my home before, but now, they're going to take away my internet and I'm going to miss /b/ so much... /b/ros I'm sad... real sad.
>>557666948 who have you become? >>557667042 your weight and attractiveness are far from permanent. >>557667104 self contradiction is pretty normal. Think about why you feel like your girlfriend can't be trusted, question the underlying assumption that causes you this feeling.
WHY do you feel that? Why are you dissatisfied to the point where you want to bang other women?
Think about it, verbalize the specific assumptions and thoughts you have about her that lead you to this feeling.
I guess mild depression, I don't really have any goals and I'm just living day to day because of that.
I have a hard time getting into any kind of routine, even things like sleeping, eating, showering. It's like I just forget.
I know I'd be happier if I just got a basic routine down and things would be easier if I just stuck to something for a couple weeks, even if it was like going for a 20 minute walk in the morning but I can never seem to will myself to do it.
>>557667202 what do you mean? >>557667246 you're hurting someone she loves a lot. I won't ask you to think about yourself, I know it's hard, but seriously. What if she had someone she really loved and whose suffering would break her heart? YOU OWE IT to her, to take care of yourself.
Also I say "I" way too much which I find silly because I don't really have any strong sense of self. Too bad I'm not a weeaboo in medieval japan where I could casually refer to myself as "this one" or whatever. I don't know how Japanese grammar works.
>>557667583 there are some things in your control. some things that aren't. Torturing yourself over certain things that just cannot be controlled by you is the surest way of ensuring that you fuck up the things you actually do control.
She was the one thing in my life that I knew I could be happy with. I know I cannot control it if she comes back to me or not, but I am trying my best. I made a gift after a week of working on it straight for 8 hours per day.. I gave it to her yesterday, as a memory of us.
Fuck man. I just want her back. She was everything to me.
>>557668423 thanks. I try. >>557668445 what do you like doing? what appeals to you? what makes you smile? it seems like you're overly defining yourself on the basis of your relationship with this one person.
>>557664495 not the same guy, but I have the picture. I just feel some kind of.. lazy or deep weight that prevents me from going from a to b. Like a pressure that scares me forward yet makes me not want to move either
>>557663221 I'm starting to get feelings for my best friend. Although she lives on another continent, we tell each other everything. She just told me about her boyfriend moving from Australia to Germany to move in with her and hearing that kinda shattered me. I never really had feelings for her too much but after hearing that, I felt really shitty. This was 10 minutes ago. Wat do advice anon?
>>557668543 She may be the one thing you could be happy with, but not the only thing.Trust me I've lost people close to me too and if you give it a chance there WILL be others.
Look at yourself, you are your own person, you have hopes, dreams, goals, a life, stop defining your simply in relation to this one person.
You seek a certain state of being, and I know you feel that this person is the only one who can give you that, but THAT is an erroneous assumptions. She isn't the only girl who can make you feel that way my friend..not by a long shot.
I literally don't know why I'm depressed. Girls I believe are out of my league take me out, I do still live with parents (24) but I have a decent job and buy all my shit + pay rent and what not, have a nice car, I get complimented on my skills all the time but I do not believe in myself at all, I do get stretches of motivation where I go back to the gym for a couple weeks and go out and do shit then lose my motivation
>>557668640 I like playing vidya games. I may be overly defining but like the other anon. She won't even speak to me. The last text message she sent consisted of her saying that she had no interest in that guy and doesn't want anyone else and basically told me to go find someone else.
It's kind of hard to describe accurately. I'll remember getting up, turning off any alarms I set (including multiple spaced out over 20 minute intervals and ones where you have to do a minigame or easy math problem to turn them off) but not remember being aware of doing it.
Doing things right after waking up is almost impossible for me without the intervention of another person. I've had entire conversations while I thought I was sleeping (i'm told.)
When I try to do things when I'm actually awake it's that common "i'll do it soon" mentality and then a whole day slips by and I haven't eaten, brushed my teeth, showered, etc.
I know what I'm doing wrong but can't ever seem to fix it. It reminds me of an alcoholic/addict mentality which I saw family members deal with. They know they're hurting themselves by drinking but do it anyway because they do enough mental gymnastics to justify it.
I can't speak for other people but personally it's also a complete lack of sense of "now" or living in the present.
I remember doing things and what order I did them in but I'm never really aware of myself at the moment.
I don't want to self diagnose or anything like that but it feels similar to my understanding of dissociation.
I understand the context of what you're saying, of course I want to move on and think that hey, maybe another girl would treat me like she did. I know that there might be, but it's hard to think about. There isn't another girl out there that I cared for this much about.
I seek a certain state of just being comfortable with someone else, someone I can cuddle with, and not have to worry about all the time. I suppose it's hard to come by with younger ages, but she was the one girl I knew that was like that. It's hard to think that women my age would be like that.
>>557668805 Is it loss you feel or are you judging yourself? To feel a degree of sadness at the lost possibility of a romantic relationship is not uncommon, but are you condemning yourself? does it change how YOU view yourself? you need to add to your life, enrich it, grow to a point where some girl ceases to be that important.
stuck on a planet where I feel very alien and out of place, not much that people do is rational or logical which leaves me with very little hope for the future whilst seeing SO much room for improvement and potential that are pretty obvious and simple and agreeable with ANYONE'S basic morals, but we just fuck it all up, can see the ship going down, can only watch it sink. meanwhile the whole "be yourself" thing turns out to be bullshit as since that began (about the age of 12-13) everything I have been has been wrong and disagreeable to everyone else, from my looks to my thoughts to my likes to just about everything, never had a problem with women, or guys, found a good few cool people along the way, everything else is shit and it gets heavyer
>>557664495 Not the other guy, but... >Would love to be at least 2 inches taller (5'4") >Would like to be charismatic, witty, charming, enthusiastic, smart about my decisions, in control of my mood, balanced, healthy, disciplined, well-off financially, comfortable in my own skin, physically, mentally, and emotionally strong, dependable, independent, wise beyond his years, adventurous >I wanna be that guy that makes everybody go "Holy shit! Anon's back in town?!" and "Call him up! He's always up to no good!" and not "Is he okay? When is he going out? DOES he go out?" nor "I feel kinda bad for him, I'd invite him over but...(excuse here)" >I'm becoming more and more passive every day, it's been two weeks since I've worked out, finding it very hard to get back on, getting lazier by the minute, unmotivated, don't love myself because there is very little to love tl;dr: Mostly uncomfortable in my own skin, no motivation, way too passive
>>557663221 I just want my dad to encourage me like a father should. But he forces himself to spend time with me, and to like me. I truly feel in his eyes I can do nothing right, or good. No matter what it is, he doesn't. If he's in a bad mood, he has to put everyone else in a bad mood, and I feel like I can't live my dreams out, or do what I want to with my life, or even be myself around him because he always critiques me, and ridicules me. I did not have him for the first 10 years of my life. But even making an effort on my end. Why doesn't he? His past is dark, growing up very abused, but why does he not let that humble him? (I'm 18 by the way)
>>557669374 It isn't loss. She's just super flirty with me and nobody else. A few of my other mates tried to talk to her and chat her up but she didn't really have anything from them and turned a cold shoulder. I won't be too cut up about it though. I mean, chances of us meeting are one in a million unless I actively want to fly 18+hrs just to visit her. Idk, I'm just scared that this new guy in her life might potentially replace me. Even though it's never happened in the 8 or 9 years I've known her but still.
I am depressed because I lost my girlfriend of 5 years and all of my friends because of weed. I didn't realise what I had. I have become dependant on weed, can't even fucking eat without smoking a bowl Dropped out of school, starting again this september but genuinely feel like my life is at the bottom, my ex manipulates me and I have quit the gym and feel unable to learn ANYTHING. help me /b/
Life is shit, majority of people are fucking retards, i have few Friends who I love dearly, but outlook on my life seems inevitably dull, I am boring, and "go on a trip have an adventure" bullshit sounds so unrealistic due to the fact that you need a lot of money and u have to quit ur job etc for some stupid shit like that. I hate to have hope because in then end we just end up disappointed, I wish I had the drive that I had when I was a kid. It's been a lonely year..
>>557669118 Ofcourse and understanding the context is the best start possible. Attitudes like these take a lot of time to internalize.
To use a metaphor. lets say someone is afraid of flying. You can show him all the statistics in the world, and he's know on a cognitive, intellectual level that it's probably safe, but that fear still remains.
It's the same here. you need to avoid falling into a funk or a downward spiral. go out, meet people, exercise, read, learn, grow. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel any pain. but you shouldn't allow it to overwhelm you.
With the passage of time this intellectual, cognitive understanding will gradually "trickle" down and become something you feel, not something you know.
>>557671442 She did nothing big, but she never said "Good boy" to me, even if I was best in my school. Also, my parents yelled at each other the whole time, so I learned it's better not to talk about anything
>>557671415 It's a combination I guess, I've read a lot about psychology and been through a lot of crap trying to improve myself. Getting over women, trying to nail down a schedule, set a goal and achieve it. I haven't achieved all my goals by any means but I've managed to nail down a few things. and I guess I wanna help people who're in the same headspace as I was
Since being a cool kid at 14-16 and a shitty student, now I'm 18, know basically nobody and no girls in particular, I'm an average student. Also I have no idea what major do I choose and if I want to go to college at all. Above all, lack of human interaction sucks.
>>557670559 Well shit, where do I begin? Sleeping would be a good start. Sorry anon, I would really love to stay, but I gotta get some rest. Great work on the rest of the fellow anons, though. But for me this will have to be put on hold for at least 9 hours or so. Stay safe everybody.
I think that I might have mild asbergers and adhd.. I can't concentrate on anything I do which made me fail half of my classes last year of highschool, I do have mild OCD, I have social anxiety issues so when I am with my friends who are alpha as fuck and are talking a lot to people we know a little, I'm just standing there behind and quiet and I imagine myself looking like a complete jackass.. Also thanks to this I never get a girlfriend because whenever I am at the club or something like that I'm too "afraid" of talking to girls.. Even when they come up to me and start talking, I just block them out or leave, even if I really want to talk to them. Do you have any advice?
>>557671721 I understand how hard it can be when someone we care for or love, or look up to doesn't acknowledge our achievements or care about them, but you have to realize its NOT you, its them you said yourself you parents had a rocky marriage. Just because your mother was too stressed out to acknowledge all the things you've done doesn't take away their value my friend.
>>557672361 Also, could you help me out when you can? Not to press you, just saying incase you may have over looked it. I can see this thread is giving you a handfull, so I can wait/be patient, I just need some sort of pointer, please? >>557669749
>>557671948 It seems to me that you're too in your head, you've constructed a mental world where people constantly judge you and look down on you and you let that inhibit you and make you feel awkward.
It's a vicious downward cycle anon, you scare yourself, by making these constant negative self assessments and judging yourself.
This in turn leads you to be inhibited and awkard. which just makes you judge yourself even more.
1st step? STOP thinking, get out of your head, focus on the sound of the girl's voice, anything that distracts you from the chatter.
2nd DON'T focus on an outcome. your only goal should be to talk. thats it. If you talk. you succeed. DONT pressure yourself to act a certain way, or talk a certain way.
If you just relax and express yourself freely that will come automatically. you can't force it.
graduated hs in 2010, went to bu as a BMe major with pre med, broke up with first gf ever and failed out, went to community college for a year did business for a semester until going back to engineering. Doing well until cousin told me about a program in Serbia for medical school. Now I'm a second year med student with a smoking got gf but no matter what I do I can't seem to care enough to study for my upcoming finals, gained a ton of weight and sulk all day, can't seem to concentrate and I'm sure I'm about to fail out because of my laziness and lose the best thing I've had going for me and probably ever will but that's still not enough motivation for me to do anything about it and change and actually study
>>557672553 The first thing that merits mentioning is that YOU have done your part. you put in the effort. sometime's people however just aren't good enough. they do disappoint you. Every time your father judges you, you have to understand its not YOU, it's HIM, his demons. his neurosis. his past that is manifesting itself by acting this way with you. he has a lot of baggage and HIS inability to cope with it leads to him not being able to fulfill a parental role.
I hope this makes it easier for you to understand that YOU are doing fine, and that as much as it hurts, you can't punish yourself for his inadequacy.
Because even though i am better than most of my "friends" in every single way imaginable (besides possibly mental stability) they get everything fucking handed to them and i have to claw and bleed my way to getting it and i fucking hate it. It isn't my fault that people just like them better because they are them and i am me. God fucking damn everything i hate it.
>>557673414 Thanks OP... I had thought this, but just couldn't really piece it together. I wish I could connect with him on a deeper level, but honestly...I can't. I just don't register him that way. As close as I connect to him, is that I feel he's a close or just a normal friend. Nothing more...Sometimes, just some guy.
>>557663221 I don't see my life getting any better any time soon, OP.
Lot's of childhood stress (fighting parents, constantly moving hosues) Depression, depersonaliztion, and social anxiety, but can't afford a doctor or therapist. Shitty living conditions: Live with an emotional mom that still treats me like a child at 19. Live with 2 younger brothers who don't respect my belonging or space. Dad was thrown in in jail earlier this year for selling drugs, leaving us to fend for ourselves. Shitty car, shitty stressful part-time job I hate Constant escapism through music and video games. That's about it, really.
Surprisingly enough, I don't have any suicide thoughts; the dream that I might be living the life soon keeps me going. No drug or alcohol use, either. Bonus.
>>557674342 I hope I was able to help atleast a little mate. The important bit is you as a person have done your duty, you manned up. stepped to the plate, and did your job. Now the ball is in his court. try to focus on building your life in order to avoid letting the negativity from your dad over power you
I feel like ive lost all my friends. College was supposed to be fun and all, but instead I find myself more alone than ever.
The guy who calls me his best friend is kind of an asshole, he constantly talks shit about everyone and I feel like its a toxic relationship. If i said some of the things he does to me or says about others people would likely tell me to just get better friends.
I mean I guess im doing pretty well, in school. I have a kind of FWB deal going with a girl. But same thing for her, she only ever gave a shit about me when I ignored her and started talking to other girls. That keeps pissing me off
tldr; self proclaimed best friends an asshole and is dragging me down, have girl but bitter over circumstances. feel lonely, no real friends. wat do
>>557674116 i completely agree with you, but the problem is most people in society don't seem to. Everyone we meet instantly either takes a liking to them, or gets a hateboner for me, and i can't do anything about it. They come to me seeking solace because their GF of 1.5 years broke up with them and he thought it was true love, when the two whole fucking women i have dated ended up hating me, and being scared of me. it just doesn't make sense. it is like they were born with some inert..... thing that makes people like them, and i have an aura of hatred. the worst part is they would have failed multiple classes because of me, and i took up for them when they wouldn't be a leader. i wasn't even thanked for it. (the difference is when i play leader i am made fun of for it, but on the blue moon when all the planets align on friday the 13th when he plays leader everyone applauds him and praises him as the best coming of christ) i am sorry to take up your time wonderful anon.
>>557673868 this is what a lot if people tell me, but the problem is I don't desire much, and the things I do desire are simple things like an xbox to play some games or I desire to watch and read Naruto. What I desire to do with my life is the hardest question, I never had an answer to "what do you wanna be when you grow up" all I know is medicine and space interest me, space more than medicine but I also know I don't have the kind of mind to do anything in a field like theoretical physics. So what I have going for me right now is the best thing possible, when I think about losing everything I feel sick, especially when it comes to my gf, but I still have some kind of block and idk what it is
>>557663221 Broke up with g/f of 4.5 years almost 2 months ago. We lived together and I felt trapped so I broke it off. We both had very busy schedules and never made time for each other to hang out. We basically just became roommates. Now I miss her, and yeah, I'm depressed.
>>557674898 allright for starters you yourself realize you need better friends, so whats preventing that?
The girl acts this way because of the scarcity principle, the less available you are the more valuable you seem
http:// en wikipedia org/ wiki / Scarcity_(social_psychology)
As for friends, first you need to decide what kind of people you like and then place yourself in an environment where such people are found. That has the additional benefit of ensuring that you won't be forcing yourself to do something you don't like to meet people.
I knew I was being friend zoned by the women I thought I loved for 3 years, after waiting 3 years, I got out of the friend zone, we started dating, we had sex way to fast, like literally 2 weeks in, only dated month and a half, she dumped me and went back to her ex bf who treated her like shit. I made an effort at all times to make her happy, I made he laugh all the time. Though she was happy. She dumped me over a text right after we hung out. That's why I'm depressed. It was awhile ago, but that experience changed me. Now I willingly put people at a distance and flood my life with work and vidyas. No real meaningful relationships.
>>557675778 I couldn't answer the first two questions because i have no answer. I'd agree on the next point it's just a really shitty feeling knowing that she might be doing what i'm afraid shes doing. I know shes owes nothing to me and shes not doing anything wrong because we're not in a relationship.
>>557676009 that makes the most sense, but each time i meet someone new i take a different approach to how i introduce myself to them. i try to distance myself but they come to me, because i told you i play leader now, and they are the only ones that don't laugh at me when i do it. thank you, based anon, you are doing God's work and more.
>>557663221 I got fucked over by graduating in the middle of the recession, and my industry of choice was downsizing basically all roles for which I was qualified. This led to under employment, shitty jobs, and a hell of a lot of drinking/self loathing. I was very isolated with few friends, didn't attempt to date because I hated myself for being a failure, and basically I shut myself in with video games and 4chan for the better part of 2.5 years.
Now I actually have a real deal job, but the drinking is a persistent issue. Normalfags have no idea how addictive it can be when you drink to drown out your problems for a few years and then try to quit. I need to quit or I won't be around for another 10 years.
>>557676834 what would you rather be doing anon? >>557677093 that's good, find out what circumstances lead to people not laughing at you and respecting you and replicate them. >>557677147 Is there any specific cue, thought process event that consistently precedes a bout of drinking?
>>557676865 Do you think that it would have been better in some way if things didn't get rushed? I have put this memory somewhere in the void of my memories. I hope today is the day I can get over it. I feel apart. I've been this way for 2 years. I let myself go. The self pity did ultimately nothing but numb the experience I was pitting myself through. It wasn't worth it. And I regret it.
>>557677336 >Is there any specific cue, thought process event that consistently precedes a bout of drinking?
yes, this is something I have recognized. I get cravings around 6-7PM, typically when I get home, basically without fail. Oddly enough, if I make it through this point of the day to, say, 9PM, the urge to get wasted passes. So the thing I've been doing is occupying myself with other things and trying to avoid being home alone. It's fucking crazy how our minds work.
The other thing that really sucks is that I was using booze basically as a sleep aid. When I first tried to quit, I basically couldn't sleep at all, because my body was so used to the hypnotic effect of the alcohol before bed.
I don't care about almost anything that has to do with me, no real friends, nothing really excites me at all. Got into college/uni/whatever a few days ago, don't really care. Everything is boring, and what isn't becomes so pretty quickly, and it's really annoying. I don't get it really, might be depression or something, who knows. Also the new GRID game won't fucking start. Oh also everything seems a tiny bit pointless, so I don't do much.
>>557677445 i don't think you should do either, either supressing it or paying too much attention to it. Erasing this sort of negativity is hard, the best bet usually is to add more value to your life to let it sort of minimize the importance of such negative experiences
>>557674652 what exactly do you mean by living the life? What exactly is it that you desire? what will you have to do to achieve it, and what sort of thought patterns and subconscious assumptions prevent you from working on it.
We need to pin down exactly what goes on in our minds that keep us from doing what we KNOW we need to do anon
>>557678262 do you have any other advice? kicking this shit sucks. the hardest part is that everyone around me still drinks socially. I don't know how I'm going to be able to meet girls and date if I can't drink booze.
>>557678634 Alright, here's something, I'm my ashamed to admit, ever sense this happened, I've gained some weight, no motivation to do anything, how would I be able to tell myself day in and day out " you have to change anon, change your diet, your lifestyle, change your inability to feel" I want to basically find an healthy and positive way to overcome my depredation, I need advice on how to motivate myself.
my grandma just died, and I feel like a really crappy grandson because last time I saw her was a month and a half ago. she got Alzheimer's 2 years ago and last year she didn't know who I am anymore, that discouraged me from visiting her as often and now I feel so shitty >>557664850 Did you take the "love the idea of her" from paper towns? it's a good read if you didn't
>>557679175 alcohol addiction is a serious issue I'm afraid anon, I'd have to spend a lot of time talking to figuring out what's going on in your life before I'd be able to hand you a list of changes you should make.
At the moment though I'd recommend putting some distance in between you and those who drink around you, try gradually scaling back the drinking slowly enough that withdrawal symptoms or cravings don't kick in and do the same for your interaction with women.
I think you should focus on the smallest bit of progress you can make consistently, reduce how much you drink by just ONE percent, every two days, and within a little over 6 and a half months you're down to zero.
>feel like I've grown past the levels of maturity and common decency of my friends >had the realisation that they are the only friends i have, and they only hang out with me cause its somewhere to smoke weed >feel like my relationship with gf is going nowhere, keep getting the 'what ifs' >most of my family dont seem to really care about me >i cant find a job >im constantly poor, cant afford to treat myself or my gf >i never see my dad >i never have any energy or motivation to do anything >i feel like i have no creativity left and everything i make i instantly think is shit >constantly feel awkward in social situations >constantly feel like everyone is judging me or that i look like an asshole when i go outside >my diet is pretty bad, and i dont eat as frequently as you're supposed to >want to improve myself but things like going to the gym and stuff is hard because i feel like im worse than everyone else or that im doing it wrong or that i look like an idiot >i dont find things funny that most people in my life think is funny
>>557679435 I think personally the first step would be to just sort of ease up on your self and let go of this sense of obligation and being forced where you feel like "YOU HAVE TO" do something paradoxically that often retards progress.
second you need to look for small barely noticeable changes you can consistently implement in your life.
Start with spending just one minute a day working out and add a minute everyday.
The issue here is homeostatis, the moment your body adjusts to a certain way of being, it'l instinctively resist change on every level. YOU need to ensure that the change is so small and gradual that, that discomfort and resistance doesn't kick in.
>>557680061 I don't give a fuck if this is some website full of anime, porn, and questionably young teens, but you are the individual that have helped me tremendously. Who ever you are, I'll speak on behalf of my fellow /b/ros, your an incredible individual. Thank you my friend.
>>557680651 Just glad to be of help anon, I've faced virtually every issue folk have mentioned here at some time or the other, so I guess it's nice to be able to help people out who're in the same situation
>>557681274 sorry man finding it kinda hard to keep track of all the posts >>557679346 What kind of anxiety are we talking here? Are you anxious around other people? or in certain situations or is it a generalized worry that's going on all the time?
When you say barely interact, is this connected to the aforementioned anxiety or is it due to another feeling? lack of interest/boredom etc
those things can be changed
well ass odd as this may sound, you are motivated, just not to do what you want to do, what you mean is that you're motivated to be passive, than to take action. Why? because usually people don't have a clear ideal of where they need to be going, and how to get there. an emotionally compelling future, and a roadmap of how to get there is what seems to be lacking
>>557666436 Thats actually something i've thought about, people always becoming famous and rich and feeling fulfilled, meanwhile i feel fulfilled when im out of people's minds, so yeah this faget aint lying
#1 - Table tennis conversations. Like it's been said in Fight Club - nobody ever listens. What's worse, if you're talking to a woman, she doesn't even need you to reply to continue talking; she'll turn the table tennis into squash and use you as the wall to bump her silly rants off you.
#2 - People thinking that they're special and that every person other than them is a motherfucking moron. That's actually pretty damn amazing, considering that my observations prove that people are mostly all the same and generally smarter than you would expect.
>>557678929 My desire is to have a life of my own, to start fresh and not be dependent on someone else for my happiness. Recurring fantasy of having my own house, my own car, and imagining what I would do for a living.
My thought pattern is wildly pessimistic yet somehow realistic. I just know that no matter how much I try, no matter how much money I can at a job, it will all go towards supporting my 'new' family. At least, for a long time. Whenever I seem to be on a roll, making progress, something happens to set me back a few notches. Not having anyone to talk to about all of these things is probably the worst part. Not really on speaking terms with anyone in my immeadiate family, besides my brothers, who can offer me no practical advice. I have a few close friends, but I am so reticent about my personal life, that they don't know much about my life. They didn't even know I was dating someone until after we had broken up months later. I don't really have the financial means to go out and do new things, so I just listen to music all day and play video games.
>>557681145 Do you have any suggestions based on this list of current settings: I have a perfect backyard, entire surrounded by trees and its shaped like a track and field track, I worked out for like 2 weeks then just stopped, no real reason. I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks. And I stopped. How do I keep myself motivated such as I did like 2-3 months ago? I stopped drinking pop so consistently, MAYBE 1 a day, I just fucking snack, for no reason, I'm never hungry, I need an oral fixation, I've been trying gum but it isn't the same.
>>557681763 No probs thanks for the response. Yes it's generalised anxiety but mostly social. I have diagnosed avoidant personality disorder so any sort of interactions with people make me catatonically nervous. That's what is making the job thing even harder because try and find a job that doesn't involve people at all.
You have to want it for working out. Find something you enjoy doing for exercise and do it, don't let yourself bitch out, just do it, no excuses.
As for the snacking, change your snack to something more healthy, maybe some fruit or veggies. You still get to eat, but you get something out of it. I find a few grapes or berries are good for this, pop a few and move away.
>>557682709 And really the last issue I have is some sort of sleep disorder, I'm unable to become tired, and once I do get tired after about 22-30 hours, I can maybe Sleep for 3-4 hours, I'm exhausted all the time, not tired though, any thoughts?
>>557663221 i'm depressed because i'm transsexual, 37 years old and live as a man and fucking hated it all my life. now i'm too old for the transition and i hate myself so much for being this cowardly and for running away from it all my life. i hope this is a valid reason.
Dysfunctional family. I'm now the only one in the family stuck living in the same house as a monster of a mother that's a psychopath. She's a control freak with a very childish and tunnel-minded attitude. Looks down upon any form of independent thinking, ambition etc. Plays a lot of mind games. Manipulative. Doesn't put in any effort with any of her family and hasn't seem them (Siblings, parents) for years. Also, she screams in her sleep which is weird. I never feel comfortable visiting my dad. He beat me numerous times as a kid. Simple man and very aggressive. Always feel a great pressure to get my own flat/house, but this requires a steady income. Despite having plenty of experience and gaining qualifications over the years, I'm getting nowhere. Still stuck in a zero-hour contract job which has barely offered me any work this year. Less than a handful of friends, but most people only contact me when they need something doing, such as technical help. No girlfriend for around 5 years, and no sexual contact in around 4 years. Struggle to emotionally connect with people. I put on a fake 'persona' in public and I don't know how to behave naturally in bad situations (deaths, etc)
>>557681817 where do you usually meet people? >>557682153 yes, download "convict conditioning" its one of the best bodyweight exercise regimes out there. secondly often times we kind of end up faltering and failing because we don't have a specific trigger that prompts us to work out.
Make a commitment to yourself to workout FIRST thing in the morning, right after you wake up, or something along those lines so you have a very specific situation where you KNOW you have to work out. minimize the need to think it over. >>557682007 why do you feel you just HAVE to support your new family?
>>557663221 My girlfriend of five months isn't as committed to our relationship as I am. It's long-distance; she's an Australian and I'm an American. I discussed our future, the possibility of us maybe living with each other, and I was shot down OP.
She doesn't care about it as much as I do, and at first I was fine, but I haven't slept in three days and it's getting to me.
My best friend has struggled with that for a long time. Go to a doctor and find out what is wrong, it can vary depending on the person. He had melatonin issues. You can also try just taking some OTC melatonin pills.
Also, do you use a lot of caffeine products? If you do, relax with them or cut them out for a while, see if your sleep patterns change.
>>557683698 i doubt i'd pass as a woman even after hormones. my body was on (natural) testosterone the last 25 years. obviously it's a male body now. therefore people would regard me as dude in women's clothes and treat me like a freak. not that i can blame them. but i just want to lead a calm quiet life, i don't want everybody to give me stares when i'm outdoors. fuckfuckfuck.
I got really, really close to fulfilling one of my fantasies; and just barely missed it - timing, an international flight... I don't even want to think about how close I was to this. It's not even that "crazy" a fantasy; it's just something I've never experienced and I've started to obsess over it for that reason; like fate is keeping it away from me and at this point the relief of finally having it happen would be even better than the actual pleasure I expect from it...
I was so close; I wish I'd never even gotten so close because feeling like I just barely missed out on it is so much worse than that grim resignation that it'll probably be years before I experience something close to what I've wanted.
>>557683351 I have to support the family I live with. I don't have enough financial security to leave and be on my own. However, I still live with my mother and brothers and it's not as if I can just keep all of my money. It will have to go towards gas or groceries for the house.
Sounds like she isn't in the same place as you relationship wise, find another girl and you can keep talking to her as well. Go to online dating if you don't meet a lot of women day to day. Even if you just have a few casual dates, it will give you something else to do.
>>557684125 Hey man, not OP here, just call me River, it's my name.
I think you need to take a step back, relax, and close your eyes for a moment.
I want you to imagine that it's cold everywhere, the kind of cold that just chills your nerves. It's winter, and you're in a cozy cabin on a mountainside. You're nuzzled in a warm blanket, sitting by a heartwarming fire.
I want you to look at yourself now; I want you to say that you are you, and despite all appearances, you're a great person. You're a great human being, and your mien is of little quarter.
>>557683351 School, clubs, football games and chess tournaments. Oddly enough, it's the last of the places I mentioned that I enjoy the most because talking nerd stuff immediately give me an equal... how to say this... platform of communication with others.
I'm really struggling to like people I meet, perhaps because I'm too much into rational thinking and can't relate with their emotional issues? Not sure though, many people sound quite boring and annoying despite my best efforts at listening and comprehending them.
>>557685526 Well, now that I think about it, it's really mostly people of my age I have problem with. Way older people or kids seem quite okay to talk to. It sometimes feels like I was born in a wrong generation.
I feel liek a burden to everyone i know. i used to hang out with this group of freinds, but because they all live all over, and my city has crappy buses the relationship kinda fell to talking on fb and whatsapp sometimes. for 2 years their friendship strengthend and they became really good friends. i still want to be they're friend and i meet with them sometimes, but everytime I feel really awkward and like nobody wants me there. they invite me though, so it's hard to think that for real, but i still get that feeling because im quiet and tend to listen more than to talk. i sit there and not talk a whole lot, and feel crappy about having nothing interesting to say. i feel like im contributing nothing to anything im ever invited to.
>>557686452 I can empathize with that really hard, man. I think you need to do a bit of soul-searching. You should find some good, philosophical easy-listening stuff, and have at it; think about where your life has been, thank about where you'd like it to go. Think about how you can get it there, and remember that you have people that will support you on your way there, Anon.
>>557686518 I understand that, most people I can connect with are either prepubescent or nearing their thirties.
Generations are nothin' man; it's all about who you concern yourself with. Take care, bud.
>>557685526 Augh it hurts more to put it all into words...
Basically having a girl "dress up" for me, just for me, in a sort of sexy halloween-y or lingerie outfit, specifically something shiny like PVC, or if I'm unbelievably lucky, latex. Half of it is the tight, shiny material, half is the fact that she's gone to the effort and cares enough about making me happy to do it for me (something I've found lacking - sex is always a fun, mutual experience, but I'd really like it once to be a special thing she "did" for me because she really wanted to make me *happy,* going out of her way to pander to my deepest desires)
Anyway, I had a sort of fwb relationship with this girl (we'd recently met, I was blown away by how gorgeous she was; supermodel body and sexy face, and for some reason she went for me at a party and we started hooking up every day we had the free time to) I was riding my bike, having made plans to see her later, and I got hit by an SUV. pic is my shoulder blade. So I'm in the hospital bed, and she messages me (I hadn't shared my fantasies or anything at this point) that she's in a latex naughty nurse costume, having just made chocolate strawberries to feed me once I was released. The whole ambulance ride, being hit by a car, everything, felt instantly worth it. Holy shit my dream just knocked on my door and I wasn't even expecting it.
Hospital keeps me for too long; I don't get to her place; and timings mean we either don't have the privacy to act it out, and we have a little falling out over what the relationship means to me (I begged for that damn outfit, and she thought I was just using her for my fantasy, so I even wound up screwing myself over...)
And a few weeks later I take a flight to a different country I'd known about (part of the stress on our relationship)
I just... that one night, if I'd gotten released and made it to her house... that's #1 on my bucket list. Banging a hot-ass, 10/10 chick had been #1 until she fulfilled it.
I'm just gonna throw it out there, it may not be every girl's type, but I'm lankier than that guy and I'm sleeping with a 10 who likes "my type" because she's been traumatized by being taken advantage of by a guy who was well-built and muscular, so she feels safe with someone she could probably overpower. Also really fun in bed.
> I hate everyone and everything. I only wish for self-gain. > But I have no goals... > I have friends that I dislike, they're all sly little fucks. They can't be trusted. The only one I can trust only boards where I live. > I have no real problems or struggles. As in I'm not abused by my parents, they're just idiots that give me too much freedom but at random points when I need it most take it away from me. > I constantly feel like I'm being watched, like I'm always on the radar. > I have no motivation to do the things I do want to do. > I don't feel human. I feel like the stereotypical psychopath. I would go out and beat homeless bums that scream at me to death, but I'm scared I'll get caught.
There's only two things in this world that make me feel normal and make me want to be a better person. That is a girl I know and drugs. Specifically Ecstasy.
> I can take these drugs but I'm frowned upon and seen as one of the dipshits I despise the most.
> Highly charismatic but can't control myself especially when conversing with girls. > Never talk to girls, but desperately want to go out of my way and make friends with chick I mentioned before. > Too scared. My behaviour and personality would immediately portray my feelings for girl. > Afraid if I do this, I'll be angered by "mates" and lash out and kill one or a few of them. I wouldn't really care but I'd get caught.
You guys will probably think I'm just trying to be edgy. But this is my story. I don't necessarily feel depressed just nothing.
I don't take trips anymore because there's not soul to explore.
Don't get me wrong, I have "friends". Lots of them. We hang out, get drunk, whatever. But we're more like friendly people rather than friends. We don't ever talk about anything remotely serious. Whenever I try to talk to any of them with anything serious, they shun away from it or move back. And it isn't just me, it's all of them. It's like no one I meet actually wants to be proper friends, you know, talk to each other, tell them how you feel, listen to them and their problems. Genuine friendship.
Worst part about it, it's the same with my family. My brothers, my sisters. All of them. It's like everyone's a fucking robot and instead of having real kinship they'd rather have a bunch of fucking numbers on their Facebook pages, as if the more numbers you have, the happier you are.
I have over 30 people I regularly talk to, not including my family and people I hang out with, and I still feel lonely. The only person I ever connected to was my ex girlfriend, who died in a car crash.
Am I alone on this? Or am I just crazy?
I just don't understand how people can live like this.
im depressed because the world is going to be uninhabitable in a short few years from fukushimas inevitable super melt down of all the spent fuel rods stored precariously in reactor building #4, while allready 10s of thousands of people in even america have died from highly airborn radiactive iodine isotopes and are allready developing cancer, right at the same time as the human population of 10 million is currently ticking at over 2 sieverts which if u know anything is like standing in a fire in terms of cancers.
were all going to die, yet we still live our lives like normal, its easy for mainstream media to convince the mass of something they dont want to believe allready.
This is fairly normal. Most of the people I people I talk to or hang out with are like this, but a few close friends are open.
Generally this is the difference between acquaintances and real friends. As for the family, not sure, maybe they just don't like facing anything tough.
Usually deep conversation comes with trust, people are always afraid to go into deep conversations cause they leave them possibly vulnerable and open to being made fun of or exploited by that information.
It generally gets worse as you get older, 31 now and I only have a few really close friends as most are busy with families or going back to school or moved.
>be 22 Well for starters I'm failing most of my college classes, working a minimum wage job, still living with my mother, i feel like my life is going nowhere and i'm too chickenshit to do anything about it because of social anxiety. I also feel like I'm going to die alone because I wronged the one girl who loved me to the point where she never wants to speak to me again and she's blocked me from all forms of contacting her, not that I would anyway, but I still cant get her out of my mind. I was prescribed prozac for the depression but i dont take it because really what's the fucking point? Most days I dont even care enough to get out of bed or even take care of myself. Feels bad man
Start small, find something like running, swimming, biking, lifting or a sport that you enjoy and do it for a while. Just get up and around to get yourself active. Eventually you will make it a routine and you will start to feel better, even if only a little.
Once you make that one step, analyze the next small thing you can change and so on till you get to where you want to be.
>>557689040 I'm with you Anon, but I've found my friends. I've found people that I can chill with, and some of those same people I can discuss my woes with. I feel you, man. I'm here if you need a friend, my email and skype are above, and OPs email is there too. I can only speak for myself, but I'd bargain that we're both willing to be there for ya'.
>>557689076 When in Rome, do as the Romans do, my friend. We'll make it, I know we will.
>>557689663 That's some shit man, but you'll be able to get through it. I know a lot of people who had no potential as human beings that made it out of similar places. I have faith, Anon.
my gf of over 2 years broke up with me about 5 months ago...she was 17 and i was 20 at the time we got together. i was her first bf, her first guy she slept with. the whole relationship had nothing what a normal relationship didn't have, like normal fights etc. but not a lot, only because she overreacted about nothing quite often and i said her to calm down once in a while and don't take things too serious. well, about a month ago she stood at my door, said she couldn't do it anymore, needed time for herself. i asked her if there was another guy, she denied twice. needless to say, i was kind of curious, thought that she lied there. she isn't the cheater type at all, cute, caring and really beautifull. i always told her to put on as little make-up as possible, because to me she was much more beautiful without it, and i loved her brown eyes.
well, the first thing that came to my mind was her best guy friend whom she had dancing lessons with and talked about nearly everything. i know , why date a girl who has close guy friends? well, blinded by love, i trusted her when she said " its only my friend, nothing will happen" i should soon discover how wrong i was...
i confronted her 2 weeks after the breakup with facts i had no proof, asked her if she was together with her guy friend and i hit the nail on the head. she told me they were together and tried to blame me for her actions, saying that i wasn't there for her etc etc., usual blame shifting bullshit. for me, she was the only one, even after over 1.5 years we both had that inical feeling of " i love you " that you just have in the beginning phase... her parents got divorced cause her father found another women while he was married with her dad. >cont.
another sheep of the masses following what big daddy tells him on the T.V
it will be okay.
P.S, i never said nuclear isnt the only way humans could have survived climate change from the greenhouse effect, but fukushima fucked it up perfectly, and unfortunately theres no second chance when it comes to such quantities of radiation release into the atmosphere, go open your mind to the truth, its time to grow up and find real fact from real people.
her mother blamed my ex for it and my ex cried a lot cause of that. i was there for her, we talked, i told her eerythings gonna be alright, held her in my arms etc. last week she showed up to bring me some things, asked how i felt, i said, beeing still upset, "not that greath huh?", should've said something like " good" but well. she then tried to blame me again, saying "if our relationship wasn't that broken i wouldn't have broken up", which is a blatant lie but alright. i just let her talk, just said "yeah right" occasionally and walked away without a word.
why didn't she just straight up tell me, when she broke up , that there was another guy? why not spare me the pain, knowing that idiot of a guy is now plowing my ex? its not fair to be treated like some replacable toy, when you have lived through the ups and downs of the other partner.
its not like im crying , done that , no reason to now, its jjust, i can't really understand her actions. we could've worked it out if she wasn't that focused on having sex with her best guy friend, thats what im thinking. we messaged and talked on the phone nearly daily for over 2 years, we said each other if something bothered us.
I'm depressed because I have a gay brother and my family hates him because of that. I got bullied from 1st grade to 5th grade. My parents fight all the time. I havent seen my brother in 5 years. Dad keeps nagging on me because he thinks im gay. Calls me fat, ugly, "I know why you don't have friends" (I have friends).
I don't know, obviously billions would be nice but I just want to be able to live nice and be able to travel.
I would like to get into the whole stock market thing, that shit is so interesting... Alas I have no idea where to start nor do I have the money to do so.
Again, I am not trying to be wolf on wallstreet billionaire, I just think its interesting and would be fun. If I could make a good amount of money with that I would be happy. Work at home pretty much with a computer and be able to do the things I enjoy.
>live in abusive household >have no friends >guy I like doesn't like me back >while we're at that, faggoty transgender boy who isn't accepted by family >sick 24/7 so all I do is sleep all day >social anxiety, so I can hardly function properly in school >impending depressive episode so bad that I legitimately contemplate suicide at least 5 times within the past two weeks Does that explain anything?
I'm 27 and just started seeing an amazing guy who i really feel i could see myself settling down with. Over the past week or so he's been making it clear that he's become bored of me. I know it happens, but it still hurts.
I have no job, no money (all I have to my name is $9), I can't afford my anxiety medication so I can't really work, because I have a panic attack every time I go to a job interview, I get my water source from my neighbor's house, my house is being paid off by my grandmother's pension, I can't afford to have any electronics running other than my computer and refrigerator, and all the food in my kitchen is bread and butter, with ramen in the pantry.
Start working towards a job that pays. Programming always pays well. IT in general pays pretty well and doesn't require college, just a drive to learn and a few certs.
Other option, get into marketing, it is a generally easy field and pays well. You still have a lot of years ahead of you. I restarted my career at 26, so you are ahead of me at this point, I was a complete fucking burnout and now I have my own house, good job, good pay and life isn't bad.
>>557695078 I thought i would get a friend when my family moved into a new city but i didn't then i thought i could get a friend when the classes got mixed in school but nope, then I thought i might get a friend when I started University but this didn't work out for me aswell. I am 24 now and i never had a friend in my life >>557694915 I am German btw English isnt my native language and the live life thing isnt that obvious. I am socially awkward but not in a ~cute and adorable~ way. So people who start talking to me get creeped out pretty fast plus i dont understand a lot of things other people juts kind of do without thinking social rules. I spend most of my life alone and i juts constantly break them and give people a negative impression of myself. So i have lost all hope. feelsbad
>>557695864 There are so many social rules which dont make sense if you look at them from the outside and i am constantly afraid to offend people since i do it so often. Last year I talked to a girl in Uni class and she was kind and she asked me if I wanted to get a cup of coffee with her after class but I cant drink coffee (medical reasons) So i got freaked out and said i need to think about it I then called my mum to ask if its socially acceptable to drink something different than coffee when being asked to get coffee and she said yes so I returned to the girl and said yes i would like to grab a cup of coffe... but she changed her mind and didnt want to go so i guess i took to long answering her.
>>557697464 I like being able to help people man. This shit is so common I don't think everyone should have to bash their heads against the same stuff again and again trying to figure it out when the answers are easily available, you know?
Yup, just remember it is all idealized TV, nothing real about it, just someone else's romanticized version of what is in their head. Not to say I don't enjoy some of it for the entertainment and a good story, but it isn't magically better than other forms of entertainment.
People tend to romanticize other cultures and things on TV like that when they lack an identity and culture of their own. Similar to how other cultures try to romanticize american culture, same shit, different place. All in all, we all have the same issues.
We have various reasons for our depressions, but most of us have been accompanied by the feeling of meaninglessness and repetitiveness of life. With our existence reduced to schemes and constant crossing between false dreams and disappointing reality each passing day being as blank as all the others, it's no wonder we feel like killing ourselves.
>>557683261 your first priority should be financial independence..we have to go step by step here. the only way you can change the other things is if you move. the only way to move is to be financially independent.
Think about it anon, what are the things you can do to increase your income?
I recently realized how alone I actually am have only 5 people I can really call friends but hardly talk to just recent girlfriend would hardly put any time into talking/hanging out: both realized we were better off as friends with benefits even though friends, still rarely talk Video games don't amuse me as much anymore
>>557699182 The World is designed to make you conform and dedicate your body and mind to construct faceless structures, granting you entertainment and distractions you should base your existence on in return... If you were born in a 3rd world country, your purpose as the bottom of the pyramid would be sustaining the 1st/2nd world by sewing clothes, mining minerals and other kinds of things little starving negros do, which are basically fundaments of this machine... But you were lucky enough to be born in the 1st/2nd world, so your purpose is to have so-called "FUN". At least it should be if you're a "normal" obedient product of society...
I have some cousins that were in the same situation. My aunt is a sadistic psychopath and fucked them up for life. They became reliant on her and they couldn't break away from their mother because they didn't accept that she was poisonous. My one cousin fell to pieces and just barely started putting something together in her mid 30s. Other one is also now holding it together after he removed her from his life and concentrated on his wife and kids.
Get away from her at all costs. It isn't her fault, but she can't be fixed. Distance yourself from her, don't instigate or communicate at all. It will be tough, but it is the only option to save yourself.
As a high functioning sociopath myself, the lower functioning of us will basically eat you alive. It sort of runs in my family on both sides. I know you may question my motives, but since I have nothing to gain from you, I have no reason to lie. I am not pathological in my lies, only when they serve a purpose.
As for the fake persona, if you fake anything long enough, you eventually become it. I have no idea what I am really like as I tend to take on the persona of whomever I am around. The older I get, the less I know about who I was.
Start fixing yourself, find a roomate if you can and a job to support yourself and live on your own, but don't stay around that person or she will take you with her.
>>557699679 Think for a while about how does life of a typical drone who doesn't possess self-awareness look like. They spend most of their lifetime on work which usually doesn't present much value to them, living only for their sacred Friday night, when they can watch TV/play video games/drink beer with their friends/browse social networks/try to "bang hot chicks"/watch funny cat videos... Then comes hated Monday, and going through the work week, kept alive in hope of reaching Friday night again... Sometimes they spend money they accumulated on the newest car/5-star hotel trip/Thai hookers or similar "dreams" which are as high as their life ambitions go... Would you say that all these things are the reason you're alive?
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