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Let's do a bad work stories thread. >be me >just last

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 329
Thread images: 70

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Let's do a bad work stories thread.
>be me
>just last year
>working at best buy
>customer comes up
>asks about tv's
>pour out my knowledge of the unit
>seems interested
>says he'll get it
>ask if he wants me to ring him up right now
>says he's just gonna buy it on amazon
>throw him out of the store
>manager says I can't do that
>have to answer questions he's asking about iPods
>doesn't buy any of them
>gets them on amazon
Best Buy: Amazon's FAQ page
>>
>>557418713
I'm currently interviewing for a position at best corporate. What's the employee discount?
>>
Hey op I feel you . I used to work in my family's record store and fucks would come in humming bars or lyrics to a song and I would search our catalog looking for it and when I'd finally find it for them they'd call their friend and tell them to download it off napster then leave
>>
>>557418713
Ravioli Ravioli, OP is a fagioli
>>
>>557419157
It may vary on your position, but mine was 10% being a summer job
>>
>>557418713
I am also a home theater associate at best buy. I would quit but I like the discount so I about to drop my hours as low as possible and work at a restaurant. Fuck that place
>>
>>557419157
If you are not a temp employee it's 5% above wholesale
>>
Airlinefag here. I deny boarding to people I don't like based on creative interpretations of customs and immigration requirements.
>>
Yeah I work at bestbuy myself, have those come all the time. Just tell em price match. the discounts there can range depending on item from kickass to absolutely nothing.
>>
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>Work at a local pet store in dtla
>Indian lady with spoiled kids come in
>Select a shitload of items relating to their new pet
>Takes like 5 or 6 filled bags
>asks to help her to her car
>i take all these heavy bags, stupid kids dont help for shit
>walk 4 long blocks into a payed parking lot
>wait for her to get her car and pull up to me
>puts everything in by myself
>thanks me and gets in her car
>wtfnotip.jpg
>stand infront of the car to block her in
>Gives me a random smile and waves goodbye
>reverses her car and leaves
>mfw indians are rich but cheap assholes
>>
>>557418713
I usually buy my bigger electronics at Best Buy. That free interest for 18 months makes up for the little extra I might pay over Amazon. And I buy a shit load of stuff off of Amazon since I have Amazon Prime.

And honestly, the guys that I have had help me at the local Best Buy when I buy TV's and stuff are pretty good guys and not afraid of anything.
>>
>>557420443
I try not to deny boarding to Indians because I want those smelly fucks to get the fuck out of my country as quickly as possible.

It must be fun to be a CBP officer and be an asshole to sandniggers all day.
>>
>>557420635

I banned Amazon from my shopping. I worked in their warehouse stole a bunch of shit, masturbated in the restroom, and did 25% productivity rating and got fired, then collected unemployment off them 100% paid for by them for firing me on an unjust cause (using the restroom) even though I was spanking it.

Anyway fuck them.
>>
>>557420443
> pet store
That's the real problem
Come back when you're over 18
>>
>>557419201
I don't understand how this frustrates people so much
care to explain?
>>
>>557421872
i make 10 an hour bruh, and i rather clean the shit out of reptiles and birds than deal with bs paperwork.
>>
>>557421872
Or asshole managers screaming at you while flipping burgers
>>
>>557422167
They are basically like human rats. We can't put them to death because....?
>>
>>557421872
retail, construction, service industry
not a one is more glorious than the other, you can have a bad day at work at any of them. Get off your high horse faggot.
>>
>>557422656
I used to work at Safeway and they'd load up on steaks and try to run out the door pushing a cart. This was like a weekly occurrence. They literally never got away with it.
>>
>>557422167
Shit nigga. That sounds bad.
But also funny.
I work in a dairy dept of a grocery store, and shit sucks. But I can't imagine what you go through.
>>
>>557421872
At pet stores you usually have to be 18 to sell animals.
>>
How can tv's be real if our eyes aren't real?
>>
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>>557423695
this guy is baiting, but no, i work at a family owned petstore. the mexican i work for has his cute 16 year old daughter in the front. Probably different states have laws about this. idk
>>
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>>557418713
Your place of work has it's days numbered... Tell your store manager or marketing manager to stop massively overcharging and start catering to the people that actually know shit about computers instead of the retards that are only there to by proprietary tablets and easily infected pc's.

You might get your business back.
>>
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>be 17
>betafag working at McDonalds
>coworker is a 9/10 qt3.14
>thin, pale, blonde with a small perky round butt
>work with her one night
>she clocks out at 2am
>I stare at her while she sits in lobby
>asks me to come over
>tells me she's horny and wants it all
>boner.jpg
>fuck 30min until I clockout
>ask her to wait
>she agrees since she has no ride home
>dick manager sees us
>yells "anon get back in the kitchen!"
>I go back all excited
>manager goes and tells her something
>10min later another manager comes to me and asks me to stay 1 more hour
>fuckno.jpg but I agree
>gotta go tell qt3.14
>next thing I know girl isnt there or the dick manager
>come to work next day
>find out they got fired cause they were caughtby the cameras fucking in the parking lot
>mfw I almost lost my precious minimum wage job
>>
I just got hired on to do an ARA position. If you don't know what that is, it's one of the guys that work behind the scenes as a repairman/IT guy. Apparently I won't be dealing face to face with customers, just running the repairs. Anyone have any experience?
>>
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>>557424724
i smell that bullshit for miles son!
i doubt a 9/10 would bag a 1/10 neckbeard. you must of drooled away at her while she stared back creeped out.
>>
>>557422134
>only career options are petland or pushing paper

Your worldview must suck.
>>
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I guess I'll contribute

>be me working my first job
>bus boy at a popular local restaurant
>man comes up to me and tells me it smells like someone puked in the bathroom and I should get someone to clean it up
>figure I'm going to have to clean it up so I just say ok and keep working
>get around to the bathroom, check in to see if there's any puke or anything
>nope, the bathroom is clean like it normally is
>we actually kept ours clean too
>whatever.jpg
>go back to working
>later on manager comes up to me and asks me to check the bathroom for puke because I guess he asked her too
>check again, still no puke
>the guy and his family leave
>hear the waitress that served him complaining in the kitchen
>... and he said to me that the bathroom was so dirty that he couldnt wash his hands and he didn't eat his meal
>mfw
>>
>>557425147
keep turning the tables to me, its gotten you this far in life hasnt it?
>>
>>557425303
i i dont get it
>>
>>557418713
shut the fuck up and do your job. It doesn't hurt you if he buys from Amazon not you, until your store starts laying off and your performance and probably attitude suck ass, then you're done.
>>
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>>557423139
Same thing at Albertsons. Except they would still try to bounce checks through the electronic verification.
>>
>desperate for a job
>first interview is at hotel
>become housekeeper
>down the road eventually cleaning room
>cleaning bed
>wasn't wearing my gloves(seemed like clean place, should've known hotels are filthy)
>hand comes into contact with used condom
>the horror
>find another
>another
>and possibly another

Other time
>cleaning toilet
>splashes
>hits my face
>reach for cleaner and close my eyes and mouth
>spray myself in face with chemicals
another time
>this one bathroom
>red/pinkish goo on multiple white towels and here and there on floor
>wtf
>doesn't seem to be blood but is still unknown
>spray chemicals on everything before I clean
>spray hands, put on gloves spray gloves
>put everything in biobag
>try to forget
>>
>>557425562
There was nothing wrong with the bathroom and he refused to eat his meal because he thought it was dirty
>>
>>557419157
There is a pretty hefty discount on monster headphones, cables and cases and electronics from the best but brands. Pretty good discounts on car audio, like kicker and alpine, like a dual enclosure kicker 12" sub going from $1k to $350.
>>
>>557425562
Bitch was trying to get a comp meal by complaining.
>>
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>>557426101
Oh shut up already, we know you're a shareholder you fucking faggot. You're not convincing anyone.
>>
>>557420443
pakifag here
indians are all the sheckling of jews and all the multiplying of rabbits. fucking horrible.
>>
Not really bad, more like weird...

>Work at Value Village (basically Goodwill but a bit higher class?)
>17 but they pay more than even adult minimum wage ($10.25 was 18+ minimum wage at the time, they paid $11.50 starting for a 17 year old) so I'm happy to work there
>Normally work the "easy work" (cashier and shelf stocker) cause the heavy lifting and dirty work was "for the men"
>One weekend we're severely understaffed
>Make it through Saturday but Sunday is too much to handle
>Boss begs me to work with the donations, which is the "men's work" cause it's lifting heavy bags and sorting through the items which can be dangerous
>Boss is desperate and I don't reallt mind so I say yes, she gives me gloves and sends me to the back
>Only one guy back there, normally there's 3/4 people working it
>Holy shit no wonder they needed my help
>We team up, he brings the bags in and I sort through them
>Go through bags for half an hour, deeming things sellable or not sellable
>Get to heavy bag full of clothes
>Open it
>The smell fucking hits me
>Start gagging
>It smells like puke and shit that has been in a tightly tied black garbage bag out in the sunny, humid Ontario summer for a day
>Peak inside, see a bunch of jeans
>Take a pair out
>They're designer brand jeans (worth maybe $200-$500 new)
>Look at the back of the jeans, smeared with something brown (I assume shit, not like I looked too closely)
>Call over the guy I'm working with
>We dump the bag
>Literally stuffed full with designer jeans, half still had tags on them
>EVERY. SINGLE. PAIR was covered in shit
>Basically $2000-$5000 worth of new or like-new designer jeans covered in shit and donated to Value Village
>Tell boss, she just tells us to throw the bag into the dumpster and go back to sorting through bags
>No idea if this was some rich person's idea of a joke or what
>>
>>557420443
>wtfnotip.jpg

Nigger, you're working for a fucking pet store.
>>
More Value Village...

>Tuesday morning at 8:35 am, store opens at 9 am
>I look outside (the whole storefront is glass)
>Some guy is pressed up against the doors
>I tell a coworker, they tell me to go talk to him
>WTF why me?
>Whatever, I guess I have to deal with him, walk over to the door
>Open the door to talk to him
>This guy starts speaking French (not in Quebec or anywhere that speaks French, in this rich white town with 99% English speakers)
>Call over Jean-Jacques, this French fuck who came from New Brunswick and speaks French
>Jean talks to this guy for a while
>Jean is brand fucking new so he turns to me and says "Can he use our washroom"
>I'm confused, Jean and this French fellow just talked for literally 5 mins about the washroom?
>I say no (store policy, no one allowed in until we're open (obviously))
>Guy stares daggers at me
>Swears in French (literally screams "TABERNAC TABERNAC")
>I tell Jean to go inside, follow him and lock the door
>He bangs on the door violently and (according to Jean) makes threats about setting a fire, so we call the police
>Cops come, they stand back and talk to him for a bit
>The guy starts speaking perfect English to the police
>He drops his pants and starts pissing on our storefront window
>Police arrest him and take him away
>Me and 2 others have to quickly clean up all the piss before the store opens and customers come
>>
Even more Value Village

>Stocking the aisles during a big sale, stored is packed to the brim with shoppers
>In women's jeans hanging up some small and medium jeans
>See big woman down in the XL and bigger part of the aisle closely observing a pair of ripped up and bedazzled (not fucking kidding) red jeans
>Looks like a weird kite cause they must have been around size 4XL
>I turn my back and hang up more jeans
>See the woman out of the corner of my eye walking past me to get out of the aisle
>She's wearing the red, ripped up, bedazzled jeans
>I'm done stocking the aisle so I follow her
>She goes over to the women's shirts, puts on a shirt
>I'm staring at her the whole time
>She goes over to the women's jackets and puts on a trench coat
>Walks towards the exit
>Find boss, tell her what I just saw
>Boss runs over to the woman, stops her as she opens the door
>"Her, excuse me, ma'am, you need to take off those items and pay at the front before you can leave"
>The woman starts yelling like a young black woman from the hood, even though she's a 50-something year old ginger white woman
>"NIGGA YA BETTER STOP OFF OR IM FINNA DECK YOU YA FEEL ME I DIDN'T STEAL NOTHIN THESE IS MY CLOTHES I WORE DEM HERE AND IMMA WEAR THEM AS I LEAVE!"
>Boss says she's lying, needs to go pay
>"FUCK NAW BIZITCH I AINT PAYING"
>Boss gets mad, says "Go, NOW! Please..."
>Wannabe black woman starts screeching like a Banshee
>Literally a high pitched noise, very loud
>Everyone in the store stops what they're doing and looks over at her
>She keeps on doing this for 5 minutes, we eventually have to just let her go
>We lost $40 cause she got to wear the clothes she stole, and we found her clothes (the clothes she actually wore into the store) stuffed in a couch in the furniture section
>>
>>557420635
What in the fuck would they have to be scared of?
>>
>>557427163
kek

post moar
>>
I have a shit load of stories from VV... Copypasting these cause I typed them out for a previous work stories thread once.

>Friday night, an hour before closing, dead quiet in the store
>A group of 6 guys come in with those horse head masks on
>The boss isn't around and it's close to Halloween (so a lot of masks are being worn in the store) so we don't tell them to take their masks (but we should have)
>They get carts and casually stroll around the store, going through each and every aisle
>All of us staff are watching them cause it's a pretty funny sight
>They finish up going through every aisle after about 45 minutes
>They all come to the one open cash register which I'm working at
>The first guy starts unloading his cart
>All horse stuff
>He buys 10 stuffed horses, various sizes, and an embroidered pillow w/ a pack of horses on it
>He pays with cash, next guy comes up, he also has horse stuff
>Second guy buys 22 shirts (both male and female, adult and child and baby clothes) with horses on them
>Third guy buys every book about horses we have, from childrens books to informative books on how to care for horses
>Fourth guy buys a hat with a horse on it, a painting of a horse, and two equestrian magazines from 5 years ago
>Fifth guy and sixth guy both buy horse costume related Halloween stuff
>They all are very polite and leave
>They didn't steal or break anything, still don't know why exactly they did what they did
>>
>There's a guy in the tri-town area who wears the same outfit and bunny ears every single day (but at Christmas he wears Reindeer antlers)
>He's always out at the mall and in the McDonalds, playing chess against himself or just walking around
>He comes into our shop one day
>Cool, he's weird but a nice guy so whatever
>He passes two teenage boys
>They start harassing him
>Bunny ears man is a smart British man, so he has a witty response to every insult they hurl at him
>They get physical with him, like pushing him around and trying to grab his ears
>They can't reach his bunny ears cause he's a tall fucker
>I'm the only one seeing this shit so I have to call my boss over the PA system
>I go over to try to intervene
>The taller of the two teenagers actually manages to rip his bunny ears off his head
>They run out of the store after doing this
>Bunny ears man just reaches into his bag, pulls out another pair of bunny ears, and puts them on
>I find out he literally carries an extra pair of ears just in case
>We apologize for what happened, he says it's totally fine and he shops like nothing happened
>Life goes on like normal
>>
>>557427521
>>
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Final VV story, might type out more. I have hundreds of weird stories from my time working there...

<< Picture of Bunny Ears Man who was mentioned in >>557427693

>Guy in his late 30s comes in and looks at men's clothes
>I'm working behind the jewelry counter, it's dead quiet in the store
>He comes up to me and looks at me with puppy dog eyes
>Asks if I can give him some fashion advice, he needs a woman's opinion cause he's trying to dress to impress for a date
>I say sure, lock up the jewelry cases and walk over to men's clothes with him
>Spend a good 15 mins looks at clothes with him, we pick out a few nice outfits (nice for cheap Value Village clothes, so not all that nice)
>He goes to try on the clothes
>He calls out "Are you ready to judge?"
>He emerges from behind the curtain, naked from the waist down
>I turn away quickly, he starts creepily laughing and spinning his dick around like a helicopter
>I go to get my boss to deal with him, by the time we get back he has left
>He left all of the clothes but the shirt he tried on, and he left behind $20 to pay for the $8 dress shirt
>>
>>557418713
At least you don't work sales support or delivery...
>>
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>>557426778
>3/4 people working it
>3/4 people
>>
>>557420443
They are the worst. They are the only race of people i hate as a whole. I work retail and never met a hindu i liked.
>>
>>557427970
Lol I meant 3 or 4, but I wish I meant three fourths of a man...
>>
>>557427693
Thats like movie quality funny
>>
>>557420858
AMEN NJ i sthe worst
>>
>>557428103
Yeah it was pretty fucking funny. A customer saw this go down and basically had to sit down cause they were laughing so hard at the extra pair of ears. I had to go right back to cashing people out but the rest of the day I was smiling.
>>
>>557421489
Yes fuck them. But you were the one jacking off while you were supposed to be working. Sounds like you were a real shit employee
>>
>>557424640
Isn't that why circuit city went out of business?

Nah - Best Buy is fine. Stores can't sell at prices you find online - their overhead is far too high for that. It fills the market of folks who want to operate techy shit without being technicians of techy shit.
>>
>>557426558
Wat. Entry level Geek squad. I don't see how one tard getting hired at bestbuy and abusing the discount would help a shareholder.
>>
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>>557420443
here we go again, i don't tip ever.......
>>
>>557426101
>monster headphones
kek. not choosing vmodas master race
>>
>>557427873
worth-it.jpg
>>
>>557420635
>doesn't afraid of anything
>>
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>>557428698
Usually it's only shareholders that suck a companies cock so fervently. If you're abusing a system then I shall leave you to your work.
>>
>>557428021
only cool ones ive meet are the ones 3 generations in america. then they are thankfully much more white like. tip and can control the number of kids they have.
>>
>Thursday night
>server
>get a table of four, two middle aged fat women and two children
>ask them what they'd like to drink
>the one lady tells me she wants a coke for the little girl
>repeat coke back to her
>no one corrects me
>so I bring that bitch a coke
>when I set the down the women question it
>"I asked for a milk"
>"yeah, she wanted milk"
>"I never order coke for my daughter"
>slight irritation because I repeated her before writing it down but I reply in a friendly manner
>"Oh, I'm sorry! I could've sworn you said coke and thats even what I wrote down but thats okay, its not hard to switch out"
>lady looks at me sharply
>"EXCUSE me?"
>the other woman flips her shit, demands everyone get up so they can leave
>as she's waiting for the children to get up she looks at me and snarls "thanks for nothing!"
>stand there, stupefied
>literally have no idea how to react
>they go up to the front and throw a huge fit
>manager gives them a $30 gift card over fucking milk
>later tells me if they call corporate on my I'll be in big trouble
>literally did nothing wrong but I may be in trouble over this stupid incident

I cannot stand my job and the trash I'm forced to serve on a daily basis. Usually I roll over and accept whatever happens but if they try to write me up over this I'm going to fight it because I didn't do anything wrong. The customer is NOT always right and I hope both of those women are suffering from heart attacks caused by grease clogged arteries at this very moment.
>>
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>work at wally world
>walking in for my shift
>nig walking out with a buggy
>hear sales associates scream "Stop that man!"
>all older women
>play as peter parker
>not on the clock
>not my job
>find out later the sales associates stopped him in parking lot
>took the cart, and took pictures of him
>nig tried stealing hundreds in seafood
>no one calls police
>asset protect dgaf
>nig comes back later and walks out with stuff he didnt steal earlier
>mfw they all got fired for stopping a shop lifter.
>>
>>557425362
you're retarded.
>>
>>557429247
>customer is not always right
the
fucking
truth right there
>>
>>557425120
yeah im sure theres not a single attractive man on /b/
>>
>>557418713
top kek

>at best buy last year
>looking at ipod touches
>salesman comes up and talks about the classics being better than the touches if you just want a good music player
>He really does well in convincing me that I could use an ipod classic over an ipod touch. >Tell him I don't have money on me now, but I'll come back with my next paycheck.
>leave store
>go home and buy ipod on amazon for half the price.
Thanks Best Buy for your amazing customer service!
>>
>>557426778
>take bag to laundromat
>dump shit-covered clothes into washer
>run through 2-3 loads
>dry
>sell designer clothes and make bank
>>
I work for Best Buy. its not that bad at all just really not the kind of place id stay at forever
>>
>>557429737
Didn't care enough to do that, lol. We decided to just throw them out and I didn't want to ever see that bag ever again.
>>
>>557429737
that shit has to get hand-washed or hipster faggots will think they're ruined.
>>
>>557418713
if you get paid hourly and not by commission then you dont really have a reason to give a fuck
>>
>>557427873
>he needs a woman's opinion
btw im a grill haha :)
>>
i really hate working for Best Buy, but the discount is ridiculous.
>>
>working at pizza hut
>8pm ish in late autumn early winter, decent weather but it's the middle of the damn night
>boss hands me a delivery receipt thing
>the order is just a 2-liter of pepsi
>minimum order for delivery is $10 before tax, unless we're taking a re-make or making up for some fuckup on our part (it happens)
>ask boss what's up with this because I don't want to walk into a mad/weird/crazy customer blind
>he says just deliver the pepsi and take the money, don't worry about it
>sounded pretty exasperated, I assume it was just a really pissed customer or something
>delivery to a big house in one of the slightly nicer parts of town
>no porch light, no lights on in the house that I can see
>ring doorbell
>wait
>wait some more
>ring door bell again
>wait again
>double check address, try calling customer
>no answer
>try knocking
>finally someone comes to the door
>it's a like 12-13 year old girl, hear giggling and the sounds of like 2-3 others
>hand me a bag of coins
>it's like a hundred pennies or something
>fuck it I am not dealing with this
>give them their pepsi
>leave
>count pennies back in the store, it's like a buck or less, 2-liter is $2.99
I don't know what the fuck.
>>
>>557430107
I am a grill named George Foreman
>>
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>>557429250
Yeah they have a strict liability rule set. Never stop anyone stealing shit at walmart. Just report what you see if they ask.

You're fucked if there's an LP at the store tho. They will chase your ass down.
>>
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>>557430107
why do canadians seem like nicer people in general to americans?
>>
hey itsvthe /b/lacksmith and I javebsome more stories of autism from this year's ten fair
1.the fat lady who flashed a guard came back, she got arrested for getting drunk and assaulting a bard at the entrance
2. So many anime sword requests
3.Some redditfag said he could do my job
Imma do a full greentext on 3, it was fucking terrible
>>
>>557427163
I remember these from another work story thread.
>>
>>557430367
because we're less cynical and in general don't see others as a threat to our survival

also we're not; it's all a lie we've created to look better
>>
>>557430225
They were your bosses daughters and her friends trying a prank, one which your boss used his safe way out (you)
>>
>>557430225
maybe the pennies were fake and actually made of cocaine. any case that's kinda creepy when you think about it
>>
>>557430483
anxiously awaiting #3
>>
>>557427521

>a pack of horses

A group of horses is called a Troop (military), a Team (agricultural), a Herd (wild), a Harras (hunting) or a Stable (racing).
>>
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>>557430672
that's cool.
>>
>>557430270
is there not always an lp on duty at walmart?
>>
>>557430680
My boss was like 25-ish and lived in another town like 45 minutes away.
>>
>>557430270
Walmart drone here, can confirm. We see a shoplifter, we call our manager, who calls upper management, who calls LP, who attempts to locate the shoplifter using the cameras or plainclothes guys. If they lose sight of the guy, they can't do shit. If the guy goes in the bathroom and leaves without the item being visible, they can't do shit. Basically, if the guy knows anything about shoplifting, he'll get away unless a legit cop is there.

And people wonder why my store's lost $2.5 million dollars.
>>
>>557430367
I swear I'm not trying to sound like an asshole but I do generally find Americans a bit rude, every time I go to America I encounter quite a few rude people. I feel like I'm guaranteed to have to deal with an asshole in the States but here it's more unlikely, like a 95% chance in America but a 45% chance here. But there's also such a sense of brotherhood and community in America that I don't feel as much here in Canada on a daily basis. But in general I do believe that people here are a bit more polite, bump into someone here and we both apologize, bump into someone in the States and they either say "Oh" or just stare at you.

>>557430535
Yeah I posted these a few times before. Typing out new ones right now though. I have hundreds of stories so I'm gonna share more.

>>557430820
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3rhQc666Sg

I never cared to Google what an large amount of horses was called, lol.
>>
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>>557426778
>"men's work"
>"sorting through the items which can be dangerous"
>Mfw dat equal pay for less work
>Mfw dat disposable male mentality
And feminists seriously think women have it bad.
>>
>>557430107

tits or gtfo
>>
Walmart is the largest company in the world by revenue. It's bigger than the GDP of a lot of nations. They don't give a shit about some niggers stealing several million dollars worth of shit annually.
>>
>>557431242
We all made the same amount of money, but I would totally be okay with the men working that job to make more, it's a shitty job. Men would volunteer to work that job, a woman could say "fuck you I wanna do it" and no one would stop her. But yeah, the sexism (even though it was in my favour) was very apparent there.
>>
>>557431316
oh you :p

dont hit on me u silly boys haha
>>
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>>557431316
Haha silly boyz heres mah boobs
>>
>Be me
>Work at Australian supermarket
>Store recently installed self-serve registers
>Supervising self-serve
>It's policy to ask people if they'd like to try self-serve
>Don't really want to, but store manager is urging me to do it
>Notice man waiting in long line for normal registers
>Walk up to him
>Hello, would you like to try self-serve?
>Man's face contorts into an expression of unfathomable rage
>Ohno.jpg
>WHY DON'T YOU STOP BEING SO FUCKING RUDE, YOU LITTLE CUNT.
>Mfw

The guy literally just freaked the fuck out, rather than just saying 'no' or whatever.
People are really morally opposed to self-serve though.
>>
>>557431642
>makes sure even on an anonymous messageboard that more attention is given to you

yep definitely a grill right here
>>
>Be me working at the home depot
>Really under staffed today
>get called to help furious customer to make key
>customer says wtf where are all the monkeys you guys need to hire some more chimps around here
>say to him ohohhaha like a chimp
>he starts sweating bullets
>he leaves store
>get called to managers office
>They love me here tell them he lied
Fuck dick hole customers
>>
>>557427332
>niggers
>>
>>557430483
>normal day at the ren fair, a bunch of faggots walking around, furries, steampunk faggots, the normal stuff.
>a skinny neckbeard with little to no muscle mass walks up to me
>says anyone can do my job
>Asks if he can try
>boss says yes, dude signs waiver saying he can not sue for any injury
>Mind you just the fucking tongs are 30 pounds
>He grabs an iron rod and sticks it right in to the very fucking back of the furnace
>"Hey iron is gonna take a while to melt down, plus you can't get it out from the very back without burnin-"
>says he knows what he's doing
>2 hours later iron is just barely red
>says its good enough and reaches in with the tongs
>He drops the fucking tongs in the god damn ~1500 furnace
>He reaches in with his hand to grab them
>his
>fucking
>hand
>falls over in pain screaming like a tard who got shot in the eye
>starts crying, has to be taken to hospital
>3rd degree burns on hand
>the fucking furnace rack slides out for a reason
>>
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Contribootin
>be 18
>be working at a yoga studio
>be working the front and help demonstrate in classes
>short fat Asian lady walks in
>how mush is you classes
>give her the per class rate and monthly rates
>oh okay I pay for 6 months
>get 10% commission so lol don't care
>see her next day
>was 90min early to class basically our lunch break
>tell her to come back later
>comes back 10min before class
>big bag of McDonald's
>manager tells me to tell her to not eat cause unhealthy shit in her holy temple
>Asian penguin gets upset
>starts yelling that she's a paying customer
>get told to escort her out
>you have to leave ma'am
>no no no! I pay for class I get fit
>still trying to get her out
>starts throwing mcnuggets at me
>mfw
>start laughing
>Asian penguin gets butt mad and gives up

I've have tons of stories at this place, you'd be surprised how many nips lips and pant rips you see
>>
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>>557430995
They cover multiple stores in shifts. Yes, they are too fucking cheap to even have a regular LP. They use "district" LP's instead.
>>
>>557431838
anyone want the drunk hamplanet story? Or some of the faggots that wanted anime swords? Had a fat fucking neckbeard show up too.
>>
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>>557431745
Points for creativity, but rules are rules.
>>
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alright. i'm an artfag and as such have had some weird fucking artfag jobs. instead of greentexting it i'm just gonna post a dumb fucking comic i did for one of my dumb fucking art classes about it.

captcha: inlivi HISTORY
>>
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>>557431745
>kek
>>
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>15
>First Job at The Brick
>Head to back area to assemble product
>District Manager on other side of swinging door
>Reach out for swinging door as female manager comes out
>Gazelle instinct kicks in
>Swift redirection in hand trajectory
>Narrowly avoid full unknowing breast grope
>Listen to "Enya" for next eight hours
>>
>>557431242
/thread
>>
>>557427693
Yeah Bunnyear guy is awesome me and my buddies always buy him coffee when he's at the timmies in the OC.
>>
Once I went to work, and realized all my coworkers are Mexican
>>
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>>557432210
2/5
>>
>>557431745
Im from Ontario too. Where are u located at? im in the GTA
>>
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>>557431030
Ex-walmart here. I've jacked shit from them before. Not out of greed or anything, more out of a need for retaliation for wasting my life and giving me a wage that no one could actually survive on.
>>
>>557431761
too many self-serv customers means the store can fire someone... maybe you.
i don't use them at all either.
>>
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>>557432471
3/5
>>
>>557422084
They're lazy and they think that somehow if a customer buys something it makes their effort worthwhile. How they come to that conclusion I'll never understand.

They're being paid by a company, their time isn't theirs, yet they complain when they basically have to do their job.
>>
>>557429247
Women, specifically moms, are horrible people.
>>
>>557432527
GTA as well. If you're from my area you'll narrow it down from my stories, lol. Like Bunny Ears man and Iguana Guy.
>>
>>557432119
post both
i love these threads
>>
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>>557431789

>say to him ohohhaha like a chimp

kek'd
>>
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>>557432590
4/5
>>
>>557432119
I would like to read them
>>
>>557429247
It's miserable as a server; if you don't completely kiss the customer's ass you're going to be slaving for them because they're going to stiff you.
>>
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>>557432720
fin
>>
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>>557420443
...tip

you entitled fuck
>>
>>557432119
all of them pls
>>
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>Much like Bunny Ears Man, there's a guy in the city next to mine that always has an iguana on his shoulders
>Iguana Guy is often seen walking around the city, literally always has his Iguana
>He ventures away from the slum that is his city and comes to our town, and he comes into our shop
>No one stops him from coming in even though no animals allowed
>He shops a bit, eventually dissappears into the maze of clothing racks
>About 10 minutes later, a shrill scream comes from the back of the store
>This is an ear shattering scream we're talking about, one of absolute panic
>I'm stocking shelves at the front but decide to go see what the commotion is
>Arrive just as 2 other employees get there, we see Iguana Guy hunched over on the ground
>I notice his Iguana isn't on his shoulder
>None of my coworkers are man enough to see what the fuck is happening, so I have to walk over to Iguana Guy myself
>I approach him, see his Iguana on the floor
>Iguana guy grabs me by the shoulders, shakes me and screams "DEAD!!"
>Me: "Excuse me sir?"
>Him: "MY IGUANA IS DEADDDDDDD... JIM NO!!!"
>So his Iguana has unexpectedly dropped dead, idk what to do
>He is still loudly sobbing
>He suddenly starts trying to perform CPR on the Iguana
>We've had enough of this, decide to bring him to the bathroom so he isn't disturbing everyone
>Boss tries to pick up Iguana
>He punches boss in the tits
>She drops Iguana out of shock, he grabs the body and runs out
>Never see him in my town again

We never called cops cause fuck it, he's crazy. I see him in his city all the time but he doesn't seem to ever come to my town, I guess he's afraid to come back?

<<Pic related, a picture someone took of Iguana Guy and his new Iguana walking around and some store in his city that has banned reptiles cause of him and some guy who walks around with a fucking giant snake
>>
>more pizza hut
>btw this is a small city with population of around 50k, and there are two pizza huts in the area, we covered roughly half the city
>working delivery on new year's eve
>by far the busiest most out of control night of the year
>every driver except the day guy is there
>three people manning the phones taking orders
>three cooks
>manager is the new girl, she's like 5'0", 90lbs, 20-something, small voice, doesn't know how to handle problems, doesn't know how shit works, can't cope with stress
>absolute.
>fucking.
>meltdown.
>by 8pm or so (we closed at midnight) our wait time for delivery was at 3 hours
>this is the first thing we tell anyone who calls
>orders keep coming in
>cooks are going as fast as they can and are still losing ground
>drivers are taking 3-5 orders at once, sometimes not even all in the same part of town because manager doesn't understand how zones work
>two people on the cut table cutting pizzas and boxing them up
>orders are getting flat-out lost, can't even tell at what stage they're getting misplaced
>the phones won't stop ringing
>in between taking deliveries, the drivers are also manning the phones
>THE PHONES WON'T STOP RINGING
>finally the manager gives up and declares, "don't take any more orders! We're done!"
>mfw online orders can still come in
>we're so backed up that the madness continues for another 2-3 more hours
>finally at midnight the store is "closed" and new orders don't come in, neither online or over the phone
>cooks are still more than an hour behind
>cut table is even worse off
>drivers still on the road with 2-4 deliveries EACH

I don't work there anymore, so I'm no personally invested in this. But if you have any shred of mercy in your heart, please, I fucking beg you, don't order delivery on new year's eve.
>>
>>557432654>>557432993
We live in the same city kek.
>>
>Working at Kroger deli
>Customer looks at empty hot food table with me just starting to clean up
>Customer asks if we have any food left
>Tell customer we're closed and to gtfo
>My dick is hard, she has nice tits
>She doesn't suck my dick but instead asks if we're closed
>All the lights are out, we have no food, gtfo
>Oh, ok... what time do you close
> BITCH ARE YOU RETARDED!?
>>
>>557432431
Yeah, he's a cool fellow.
>>
>>557432119
I'll go ahead and do some I guess
Fat neckbeard story
>neckbeard walks up, fedora and all, with his fatass wife
>"I am Tyler Wolfe, and this is my wife Emily, nice to meet you"
>tips his fucking fedora
>Asks for the kill la kill scissor blades and that sword satuki uses
>common requests this year, pull some spare parts from an earlier order together
>3 hours later it's done, and the nevkbeard juggles back
>Tell him it will be $950
>says that isn't fair
>refuses to pay, says he deserves the swords
>after 20 minutes of battling his autism he gives me a $100 Bill saying that's all he had
grabs the swords then books it
>had to have the guards stop him at the gate
>I am not allowed to sell sharpened weapons btw, but I include a booklet with all weapons saying where to have them sharpened
>dude pulls out dull fucking swords and hits guard in the arm
>dude is arrested and his wife is crying as he gets dragged off by cops
>>
>>557431919
kek
>>
>>557431617
Make no mistake, I'm not fedora, and you seem like a classy girl. I was just spitballing. Nothing wrong with gender roles.

>>557432360
I hope I don't derail the thread. I just don't understand feminists, like where do they live where women have it so bad?
>>
>>557433286
Moar
This shit reminds me why I'm a Scadian, not a Renny.
>>
>>557427163
That is some funny shit.
>>
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>>557420443
Indian customers are the worst. Had a family come into the department store I work during the holiday season, spent 20 minutes loading up 2 u boats of cookware and kitchen accesories for them, brought them up to the register and they only ended up buying less than 1/4 of it all. They barely even acknowledged my existence, never said thanks and treated me like a mule. Had many more Indian customers do similar things. They take way too long, ask a whole bunch of questions that are personal preference questions that I can't help them with and then they don't buy anything or a tiny bit of all the shit we went through. The men are normal but the women, especially when they come in as a family are the worst customers I have to deal with on a regular basis.
>>
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>>557431919
Fuck it I'll tell a nip slip story
>recently added Zumba classes
>tons of women come
>40something year old Latina trophy wife appears
>large breasts and magnificent ass
>wearing a regular bra and tanktop
>class starts
>turn off AC
>they start doing these weird jump/leaps
>just waiting for it...
>waiting for it...
>pop go the sweater puppies
>she thought no one saw
Pic related
>>
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>Had a friend who was a prankster
>Friend liked physical comedy/slap stick
>He worked at a grocery store (Walmart) asked me to stop by one day
>Stopped there a little early
>Caught him filling a Windex spray bottle with blue Powerade
>Figured out what he was going to do
>Luckily I wasn't seen and milled about the store
>Found the bottle of 'Windex' and switched the mark to a different bottle of Windex
>Eventually show up, he takes me through the chemical isle
>Making small talk, eventually pulls the marked bottle of Windex off the shelf
>Takes a big gulp and realizes his mistake
>Big scene, somehow I didn't get caught
>Someone used a bottle full of Powerade to clean their windows
>>
>>557433559
Haha no problem, I totally got what you were saying. It is funny, and yeah every time I hear feminists complain I think of the various times I was exempt from doing a dirty job on account of my gender and just laugh.
>>
>>557433286
this is beautiful
>>
>>557433286
meant to say he jiggled back, not juggled
nothing big really happened this year other than those. All my other stories came from past my 7 years working there, unless you count that the panera bread knight guy is now district manager of every panera bread in Tennessee
for those of you who don't remember
>ren fair 4 years ago
>man shows up with entire suit of armor made of panera breadboxes
>has a baguette through a thicker baguette to replicate a sword
>Turns out dude lives down the street from me
>end up getting free food from panera and dude becomes my best friend
>>
>>557433829
Nice
>>
>>557433841
Thanks for being so cool about it. What part of Ontario are you from, my ex is from Hamilton.
>>
>>557420427
are you a pilot or one of the terminal staff?
>>
>>557425120
Feels like projection in here
>>
>>557434068
MCFUCKER, I SAID MOAR!
>>
>>557434139
The GTA, Whitby to be specific but all of my best stories seem to be because weirdos from the great ghetto city of Oshawa come around and fuck shit up.
>>
>>557430820
pony humping autistic faggot detected
>>
>>557420443

>do you job
>get thanked when this woman doesn't owe me that courtesy and indians usually don't both with manners
>annoyed because she didn't tip
>try to block her vehicle like the entitled piece of shit that I am
>she mockingly grins at me and speeds off in another direction
>I lose yet another battle in the war on terror.
>A single tear rolls down my cheek for Great America.
>>
>>557418713
DQ crew fag here, I'll dump some good and bad to contrast.

Starting with good:
>Be not so busy night
>Guy with greased hair and purple striped shirt walks in
>Speaks something in an odd accent, not sure what his accent was
>Asks for two waffle cones
>Check freezer and only see one waffle cone
>Tell guy politely that we only have one cone left, but have some waffle bowls left
>He agrees and watches me coat the cone
>He asks what each dipping's flavor was
>Tell him butterscotch, cherry and chocolate
>Asks me to put two scoops of chocolate, one of cherry and one of butterscotch on the bowl
>Tells me it's for his wife
>Do as he says, he smiles and thanks me as he leaves with his ice cream

>Be another not too busy night
>Other member is on register
>Woman walks up to her and says loudly
>"Alright, I want PMS in a cup!"
>Other member and I genuinely lol
>She laughs as well, then explains it to me; Medium blizzard, chocolate soft serve, oreos, peanut butter cups, hot fudge and cookie dough
>This is clearly PMS in a cup
>Do as followed, she leaves promptly
>Other member snickers and says "PMS in a cup, oh my god"
>Make that joke the rest of the night.

Bad ones in next post.
>>
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>>557434298
Tits or gtfo holy shit it really is summer in here
>>
>be me
>sole cook at a gastropub one night
>8 PM rolls around, set out family meal
1. in case you don't know, family meal at a FBH job is just whatever the cooks feel like giving the FOH for their comped meal that particular night
2. the window at this spot is in the middle of the establishment, patrons walk by it all the time, makes it easy for servers to bring it to any section of the establishment
>leftover flour tortillas from discontinued item, make some dank chicken quesedillas
>put on the works, bartenders gonna want to hook me up for my after work drank
>"OMG food!" exact quote
>land whale just staring at the food for 2 mins, actual fear she's gonna steal the only food the bartenders are going to get the whole night
>she stampedes off, just the time the tickets start pouring in
>i made the dillas during some down time i had, they weren't on the menu so it took some time to prep all of them for a staff of 6
>15 minutes later, working on like 5 tickets, manager asks me if i can make some quesedillas for a customer
>he's my fucking boss, what am i going to say
>OK
>"alright, well, THEYRE vegetarians so I'm going to need you to make XYZ type of plate"
>fucking fatasses are vegetarians, lol
>mfw all the tickets are 5-10 minutes (which is ALOT) later than they should be cuz some land whales can't be bothered to go to the taco truck 2 blocks away
>mfw i don't get any of the tips the server got for the land whales getting some dillas that would have made my abuela salivate
fucking restaurant job bros, where you at???
>>
>>557434298
Oh wow.

[email protected]

We gotta share stories. You like goats? I got a story with goats.
>>
>>557418713
>be me
>be at work
>be bad
>be lels
>be end

tl;dr: Customers suck. Co workers suck. Policies suck. Managers suck. Being an adult sucks. The vacum refuses to suck, which sucks. Being an under educated twat such as you have to be a wage slave sucks and so do you.

/thread.

See what you bastards have done? You've gone and made me /thread my own post. I hope you're happy.
>>
>>557434692
I liek goats
>>
>>557430079
could have made some good cash for just a little cleaning you done goofed.
>>
>>557434657
>You don't know where that phrase came from or what it means
>You are 12 and what is this
>Seriously, fucking leave
>>
>>557431789
I work depot too... I'm so happy i worked seasonal recovery this year. Its the most grueling job in the store but 0 customer interaction i needed a break from those greedy morons. Did I mention i hate hindus?
>>
>>557434784
Wouldn't have been worth it in my opinion. The guy I was working with suggested to my boss that we get them cleaned and sell them, she said its a health risk and to throw them out, we obeyed... lol
>>
>>557431030
We had a case where a guy was trying to steal a stack of video games.
>kept saying shit like"can i go show em to my friends before I buy them?"
>not the sharpest tool.
>put games behind the counter and inform LP. >tell them he's been hovering around the counter trying to grab the games.
>LP tells us to walk away and let him do it. >sure enough, guy walks behind the counter, grabs the games and heads toward the door.
>2 minutes later, LP is escorting him to the back.
>6 vidya games, and a bottle of liqueur
>dude went to jail
>day was good
>>
>>557434692
holy shit ur a beta fag
>>
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>>557434887
LOL WHITEKNIGHT FAGHOT GO BACK TO LEDDIT !! XDDDD
>>
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>>557419157
Best buy is the worst place in the world to work and i've dug ditches, cleaned shit, and worked in a factory. Best buy is worse than all of them.
>white kid just out of college
>Work LP and Warehouse
>nothing but shiftless niggers and spics
>lazy as fuck
>daily 'motivational' chants
>5 bosses
>mfw i caught more niggers stealing from the store who worked there than shoplifters
>>
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>>557431745
top kek but rules are rules
>>
>>557431242
All retail is basically like this. The women never do any of the heavy lifting and always call the men over to take care of it or anything considered dirty or something that needs to get done outside the building.
>>
This just happened today.

>Work at large, 5-star golf resort
>4 guys walk into my restaurant
>Just got off of the golf course presumably
>One has cuts and scrapes all over his face, also seems pretty drunk
>One of our waitresses is a very nice woman, so she puts on some gloves and starts putting neosporien (probably spelling that wrong) on his face, then bandages
>"What happened?"
>"I lost a bet with this fucker and couldn't pay up."
>Points across the table to large man
>"I just hit him with a 5 iron, he owed me $200."
>Dont know if I should call the cops or something, decide not to because they're guests and much worse shit goes on than this
>"Have a nice dinner sir."
>Few minutes later, runner comes out with food
>"Yeah yeah put that right here. That's it? You don't have anything else? Come on man, go and get me some more fries."
>Dude across the tables goes "Don't fuck with him."
>Poor runner is scared shitless and starts going back to the kitchen to get fries
>Stop him, he shouldn't have to deal with this bullshit
>Walk over to table, tell the men that they are being disruptive and they either need to go up to their room or leave the resort
>They get mad and go up to their room, after ordering plenty of drinks
>Left their food, the runner and I sit down and eat it

I'm willing to bet they're going to come back drunk tomorrow. It happens a lot.
>>
>>557433570
guess I'll do the hamplanet story then
>hamplabet last year asks for homestuck horns and throws a tard rage over the price
>gets kicked out for showing her boon to a guard
>said it looked like a garbage bag of yogurt with pepperoni on it
>bitch is back this year
>in tight fucking shorts that are torn off at the mid thigh and a corset
>has steampunk goggles
>walks by me and flips me off and gets a strike from the guards
>goes to the food stand and drinks so much grog and mead her liver must have felt like fucking Vietnam war PoW
>starts to wobble around all drunk, her corset now mostly undone due to the straps bursting when she sat down
>says she feels woozy
>sits on a barrel
>barrel breaks
>food stand guy laughs
>she gets up and raises her hand
>I see every last cell of fat jiggle in slow motion as she swings
>the fat hand hits him so hard he falls over
>she gets arrested for battery and assault
>gets sued by food cart guy
>local paper next day has her mugshot
>shattered goggles, bloodshot eyes, busted corset, and vomit on her left side
>this shit happens constantly
>>
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>>557418713
>b me
>b working at nigdonalds
>9 pm closing up lobby
>2 fat people and their hyperactive fatass 2 year old kid still eating
>hyperactive fatty is bothering everybody
>Sweeping up when I noticed the fat kid starts peeing his pants
>mfw
>parents do nothing about it
>Approach them, tell them your kid had an accident
>"we'll worry about that later, we're still eating"
I shit you not that is what the father said word for word
I've done nothing but remedial work all my life I got plenty of stories if you want more
>
>>
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>>557435050
>Beta
>Managed to make an internet friend
>Mfw

>>557435078
Goodbye, have fun, and tell Cain not to cry so much.

>>557435242
>Oh look, more twelve year olds
Welp, this thread is shit, later fuckers.


Thanks for the contributions though guys, especially the Renny, but I gotta say, join the SCA bro.
>>
>>557435012
Holy shit, LP did something? Shit. Better than where I am. I've been here a year, seen fucktons of people walk in, grab shit from the front displays, and walk right back out. Only once have I seen someone get arrested for anything in this store. A massive black woman, of course, with two pairs of handcuffs linked together because of her girth, and a little Tyrone in tow.
>>
I shit you not this is a true story

>be me working at subway
>3 nigresses come in
>not just any niggers, these are ultra niggers
>3 obvious lesbians dressed like a homeless people
>they literally have chest hair and their armpit hair is hanging out of their short sleeves
>I'm always extra careful with niggers because the chimpouts get too serious
>they take 20 mins looking at what they want
>finally ask how much the six inch steak & cheese costs
>I look at the menu and it is says $4.75 so that is what I told them
>go through the painful process of making the sandwich
>"Dice muh tomatoes" "I want all the veggies idc if I don't eat them I want them because they are free" etc.
>so after taking literally 30 mins to make their sandwich nigger asks me if they take foodstamps
>I'm sorry ma'am we don't except that
>I go ahead and ring them up
>with tax the sandwich costs about $5 with a couple pennies
>niggers chimp out saying I'm ripping them off
>I take action to contain the chimpout
>"Don't worry about it, just give me 4.75 and I'll pay the rest"
>ohshitniggerIdungoofed.py
>"NO STOP ACTIN LYKE YU DOON MUH A FAVOR, YU TRYIN TO RIP MUH OFF"
>mfw

1/2
>>
>>557434719
waaaah!
>>
>>557418713
thank you for helping to pay my wages.
>>
>>557431094
"Brotherhood and community"
You must have it real bad in Canada because there's hardly any sense of community where I live. It's everyone for themselves. You get the rich assholes in the suburbs, the poor dregs in the cities and a mix of both in the rural areas. Then in the city the town is divided by race and cultural groups that stick to their own kind. Then there's the extra poor areas of town you avoid because there's too much crime there.
It's terrible.
>>
>Very well dressed family of 5 comes in one evening while I'm stocking shelves
>They're carrying a bunch of take out food
>I assume they just got it from one of the restaurants in the plaza and are here to quickly shop, so I ignore them and continue working
>Don't see them for a while
>Eventually go to the back to grab more stuff to stock the shelves with
>Have to pass the furniture section
>See the family spread out on the couches
>They pulled a coffee table in front of them, they're eating the food they brought in off of it
>Stop and stare, they don't notice me
>I am dumbfounded, have no idea what to do, go to find boss
>Tell her what's up, she says to tell them to leave
>Ask her to come with me, she says fine and comes with me
>I walk up behind the lovely family, explain that they can't eat and take up so much space in here, ask that they leave
>The father says they're just testing the furniture and they'll buy it if they like it
>This makes me laugh, boss pushes me away cause I'm making an ass of myself and making the situation seem less serious, and firmly tells them to leave
>They're done eating anyway, the father looks my boss straight in the eyes and says "We don't like it"
>They leave the store
>I follow them out, see them get into a newest model fucking Porsche Cayenne that is tricked the fuck out
>So this is another "stupid shit rich people do for fun"
>I have to clean up all of the food they drop, and the containers they left behind

... God damn it rich people, what the hell (But this wasn't as bad as the shit jeans, obviously, so in perspective this wasn't very bad)
>>
>>557435984
>i want all the veggies idc if i don't eat them i want them because they are free

do people actually do this? holy shit
>>
>>557434638
>pms in a cup
That's actually clever I like that
>>
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>>557435984
>manager comes in because of the yelling
>he attempts to calm them down
>its too late chimpout engaged
>All of them start screaming ghetto nigger talk
>they start flipping the chip rack and punching the sneezegaurd
>they literally break the sneezeguard
>at this point I'm laughing my ass off because they gun get v&
>manager calls the cops
>one niggers lifts her shirt
>the chest hair
>the purple nipples
>the acne and skin tags
>absoutlydusgusting.jpeg
>Niggers scatter at the sound of the police being called
>they run into their shitty mini-van
>they stop and one lifts through the window
>can tell she is screaming but can't hear because i'm inside
>see everybody in parking lot duck down
>I shit you not nigger literally has a pistol pointed in the air
>me and manager duck down
>We get back up after 30 secs
>niggers gone
>people come in and tell us she was going to bring her brother that is in a gang to kill us
>mfw
>police showup
>We show them video footage
>police are literally appalled that this happened over about 30 fucking cents that I even offered to pay


Never heard of them since. They never got caught by the police

(2/2)
>>
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>>557434751
email me, I'm bored :(

So anyway there's this mall in downtown Hamilton right, it's located under like three or four city blocks.

>Go to mall with ex
>Buyan dvds, vidya
>Get hungry
>Go to food court
>Feeling brave, decide to get some souvlaki and questionable looking grape leaves
>Waiting for my order, some arab guy, like three of his kids, and a bed sheet monster walk up to the counter, also they have like six goats
>Like goats
>Like "ain't no thang, everyone herds goats through malls"
>Anyway, my order is up, and no sooner is my food placed on the counter, one of the goats hops up like a Labrador and nabs my pita
>Habib loses his shit starts beating this goat with his cane
>The other goats scatter, knocking shit everywhere
>Habib's kids try to get their dad to chill
>Habib spin tackles them like he's Donkey Kong
>IT CAME FROM BED, BATH, AND BEYOND is actually his wife, a person under all those sheets
>She tries to get him to stop WWE'ing his kids
>He fucking shoryukens her
>isthisreallife.jpg
>Mall cops arrive, it takes three to restrain him
>They drag him away, for some reason he starts peeing
>Nobody knows where the goats are
>Still got my grape leaves, fuck year
>Mfw
>>
>>557435956
same guy.
Most of the time management tells you to let them go. If you catch an employee stealing corporate will give you a bonus, i think it was like a hundred bucks.
>Two spics work at best buy
>one works lp and the other in media
>lp always checks media guy out
>find out later they are cousins
>missing playstations every week
>find out spics are related
>tell manager i think it's them
>catch them red handed
????
>profit
>>
>>557421489
"25% productivity rating"
"unjust cause"
do you know what unjust means?
>>
>16
>Working at Amusement Park
>Shooting Gallery has no Prizes it is just for fun
>Guy takes out dick
>Slapping his dick on the guns
>Call security
>They pulled him with his pants down
>I follow to tell supervisor what happened
>500-700 meters later
>No skin on his ass
>That is what you get for showing kids you're dick
>>
>>557436213
Yes. They also want me to dice their tomatoes/greenpeppers. Like what the fuck are your teeth for

CAPTCHA: dounctic annoyances
>>
>>557436079
Nah, we have it great here, I just feel like in America everyone is a bit more willing to help others and a lot of random strangers are friendly as hell with each other. Like last time I was in the States I was sitting in a Barnes and Noble reading a book I bought in the cafe while waiting for my girlfriend to finish shopping, and I overheard two women who were strangers start discussing Jelly Beans for half an hour and they shared a bag. It just struck me that I see stuff like that in the States more often then I do in Canada. Cities seem to be the same in the States, some times a bit more poor looking in my opinion, and I feel safer in a Canadian ghetto than an American one.
>>
>>557418713
Used to work at a Radio Shack. Basically folks did the same thing, except some people would tell me straight to my face that they were just gonna go down the street and buy it from Wal-Mart.

tfw I no longer work that job, customers are fuckin asshats.
>>
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>>557435716
I work at a mcdonalds too bro I've got stories. I'll share one
Friday night around 930 listening to music while putting away delivery. Manager comes to me and says follow me...is it vomit? No...long story short a little girl had her finger cut off by the door cause she was playing with it. It took me an hour to clean up the blood and finger remain.
>>
>>557436358
Sure, I was busy typing out some stories lol.
>>
>>557436285
I thought I had it rough
>>
>>557436213

Yes. I work at Olive Garden and I have people ask for salad refills which they never even touch because its unlimited. Same with the bread sticks and the soup. The worst is when they have you just running back and forth because their fat asses are slurping it all down so fast. Unlimited anything attracts the worst people and the icing on top?

I constantly have people trying to cheat the system by sharing the soup and salad between one another so they don't have to pay twice. Uh, no grandma. Thats not how this works. If you're eating it, you're getting charged for it. Its already cheap as fuck, are you seriously trying to tell me that your crusty old ass doesn't have $6.99 to spare? Eat at McDonalds if thats the case.
>>
>>557426907
He carried groceries 4 blocks and loaded them in her fucking car. I've seen britbongs and frogs tip for less.
>>
>>557436475

They didnt fire me for that. They fired me for using the rest room for too long. Learn to read shit face.
>>
>>557432210
>>557432471
>>557432590
>>557432720
>>557432793
I enjoyed reading that. That was some bullshit with that professor, man.
>>
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>>557436358
>IT CAME FROM BED, BATH, AND BEYOND
>>
>Working for Best Buy
>>
>>557432821
>>557428763
honestly, this guy went far beyond what his job was.
I would've tipped him
>>
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>Be me
>Working construction with younger cousin
>Showing him the ropes
>Just me and him building a deck for rich assholes
>Owner watches us all day long
>She wears a track suit and carries her pug around
>Final day and we finish screwing in the deck boards
>Ask her what she thinks of it while we wait for the architect to arrive
>She flips out and says the steps are way too big and her dog could never get up them
>mfw they're normal sized steps, she carries the pug anyway, she waits till the last fucking minute
>Tell her I can throw together a quick addition but it won't use finished materials
>'Whatever it takes to do it Right this time' mfw
>Get saw and cut off 2 ft. of railing
>Make a small staircase out of regular wood (the rest of the deck is black railing and deck boards)
>Screw it into place
>Isnt even level
>Replace railing with regular wood also
>Looks like a cancerous tumor on a beautiful deck
>Contractor doesn't even give a fuck because she was a bitch all weekend she consented to the addition
>She pays full price plus some for the eye-sore
>>
>>557432625
this
this
THIS
FUCKING THIS !!!
And I always thought I was the only one
>>
>>557436680
Sup bro, yeah it's still the same bullshit here. I have even gotten "can I order it through Amazon here?" along with "How much is it on Amazon?". Stuff like this is so common these days. People will come from our local Boost Mobile store to get contacts transferred and it is our "bad" customer service to say no.
>>
>>557436358
lmao!
>>
>>557434638
Onto the bad:
>Be extremely busy night, sunday dinner rushes are awful
>Orders are backed up as thirty five minutes.
>Pumping out blizzards, banana splits and sundays as fast as we can for every catholic and christian in a five mile radius
>We miss a few orders under stress, but make them up when customers butt in
>Finally it's over
>Start to stretch, then proceed to stock
>Suddenly, seemingly endless waves of soccer teams come in
>Stock what we can
>Only seven orders on screen
>Accidentally bump one off
>Three orders later a man approaches the serving counter
>"Hey, excuse me! Are my cones coming?"
>All of us turn, bad vibe gets everyone
>I open my mouth, he cuts me off
>"You guys put three orders ahead of mine!"
>Crew member recalls three orders
>Two small butterscotch cones, that's it
>"So am I getting my cones?"
>I raise my arms and look at member who recalled orders
>Promptly gets two cones and dispenses ice cream into them
>"There we go! There we go! Thank you!
>Hands them to me
>While dipping them, I can feel his evil eye staring me down
>Lift them up
>Snatches them and leaves

>Be another busy night
>Orders are backed up beyond belief again
>Member has me make a small, light mango pineapple (the difference in regular and light smoothies is that regular ones have yogurt and lights have water instead)
>Hastily pour portioning into pitcher, somewhat carefully
>Ready to serve, cap it and get a straw
>Hear bickering between member and customer
>Call out "Light mango pineapple smoothie!"
>Customer whom had bickered with member claims it and leaves to table
>Member explains she thought that I could go faster with help, and she kept trying to usher member into helping me like "Aren't you going to help him?"
>Give a look of disgust in direction of customer
>She's long gone by now
>Shrug it off and get back to work
>>
>>557434082
>>557434298
>>557431745
>>557430257
>>557432993
I think your a neck beard. Time stamp or gtfo
>>
>>557434673
Restaurant job bro here. Manager. Sucks ass.
>>
>>557436465

Did not know about the bonus. I did know about LP giving no fucks, though. That must be what happens, there's no fucking way we can lose two million dollars from broken merch alone.

I hear about cashiers getting caught till-tapping a lot. Some seasonal thinks they're clever and jacks $20s out of the register, as though the totals don't get checked a few times a day and there isn't a big-ass camera staring at them from above. I legitimately think the register cameras are the only ones that get watched.
>>
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>>557428763
We know, Jamal.
>>
>>557431919
Sounds amazing
>>
>>557435956
Yeah, i usually see them catch at least three people daily, though my store has an unusually high attempted theft rate compared to what I've seen at other stores. hell a couple days ago someone pry'ed the metal laptop cases open and walked out with $5000 worth of laptops. unfortunately it was on third so there wasnt anyone in LP that night.
>>
Two of many story's working as a manager for many years at a gas station. Keep it short.

> Training soon to be manager
> Basic stuff, how to mop
> MIT mops
> Showing how to change chili and cheese bags in machine
> SuddenlyALandWaleAppears
> Woman "runs" past us saying get out of the way
> Enters restroom
> lol ok whateva
> Continue showing how to do stuff
> Woman walks out 3 mins
> Says have mess to clean up
> MIT says he aint doin it
> MIT Then notices that chili spilled on floor
> Goes to get mop
> Realize it aint chili
> Look outside and Land Whale has shit running down leg


Another:

> Working overnight
> Guy walks in from highway, asks what time it is
> Silently point at the clock. 11 pm
> Continue doing stuff
> Asian buff bro comes in
> Bathroom locked, Asian knocks no answer
> Realize guy is in there
> 1pm call cops
> Cops knock, no answer, pop lock
> Cops say guy is almost done going poo
> Cops leave annoyed wasted time
> Guy runs away
> Enter bathroom
> Tranny mags and black shit everywhere
> Toilet scrubber missing
> Look in trashcan
> Nope.avi
> Guy has scrubber up ass bristle side up and was shooting heroin
>>
>>557437315
Yep, I've had older folks be like "yeah can you order this from Amazon for me since you found it there." So I stopped looking up stuff for people.

ALSO yes, we also frequently got the folks from Wal Mart coming in to ask us if we could activate phones for them that they bought at other stores and we would flat out tell them no (this was at my store manager's discretion too; he finally got sick of it too).
>>
>>557437089
moar stories?
>3 nignogs trying to sell candybars outside store
>tell them to leave
>typical chimp out
>'what you gonna do white boi"
>cops already on the way
>mfw football for 10 years and college
>biggest nig comes at me, step left and trip his nigger ass face first into the doorway
>nig out cold
>remaining niggers hesitant
>one takes a sloppy swing, i duck and form tackle his ass
>crowd of coworkers outside
>cops show up as i'm sitting on one nigger punching him in the face, one nigger passed the fuck out from running into the door and as the other nigger starts to run they taze his ass
>had to fill out a million forms
>all on camera
>drink together with manager and watch footage over and over

best buy wasn't all bad... i did get to beat up a couple of niggers
>>
>>557428763

Black Walter White Jr.
>>
>>557432625
>>557437304
Holy shit, you anons are not alone.

Fucking impatient soccer moms on weekends demand EVERYTHING INSTANTLY. Whether it be a banana split or a cone, they want it the second they order it. They trash the place getting too many napkins and leaving their entire leftovers on their tables, then more come in and complain about it being dirty. We can't win.
>>
>>557437889
>Work for bestbuy
>Have same wal-drone policy of no physical confrontations
>Look, another nigegr trying to get 4chin attention for his luz funnay maymay
>>
>>557437889
Fake as fuck, you tripped a guy and he got knocked out? That only happens in moves when the main character gets mad.
>>
>>557420443

LOL! Since when do you tip pet store cashiers?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
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>Work in a shithole Tim Hortons in a low income-area inb4 Canadian fag
>Be 17 and work morning shift (4:30am-1:00pm)
>Roasting that coffee like it's my day job
>Strung out coke head bitch comes in with Alpha nigger boyfriend
>Line is decent, nigger not happy waiting
>Decide I'll take over cash for cute 8/10 redhead who seems to be shitting her pants at the sight of the massive ape who is next in line
>Nigger and coke head's turn
>Coke head bitch orders a large double double and a doughnut
>Nigger picks up a cup of water melon from a small open fridge to the side of the register and a purple fanta and slams it on the counter
>I try to hold back my laughter by pretending to cough behind the register
>Engageapemode.exe
>Nigger is pissed, can see straight through my coughing laugh
>Get called a honky, cracker, and piss poor white boy who be working in a fas' food joint
>Co-workers startled by Ape's actions and verbal harassment
>Continue to walk towards doughnut that coke head wanted while simultaneously making my best gorilla noises
> Nigger is in full rage mode now
>Next thing I know I'm being pelted by watermelon and sprayed with fanta
>Laugh hysterically at nigger while he throws his tantrum
>Supervisor, who is a massive bro and landed me the job, asks me to dispose of the customer
>Kindly serve coke head her shit and have here pay
>Nigger still in Ape mode calling me shit
>350 pound baker comes out from the back picks the nigger up and walks him out
>I kek to the glorious events that have just unfolded
>Supervisor bro gets pissed at me and haves me clean bathrooms for the rest of the month
>mfw me 1 nigger 0
>>
>>557434068
whats the best easy forge design? I've been thinking of trying my hand at some knife making. I have the grinding and polishing equipment, but would a little square of fire bricks with a blower work well enough to bother with?
>>
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>>557437687
>>
>>557427163
fellow ontariofag

fuck quebecois people. they are so incredibly arrogant and rude when they venture outside St. Trois-Theresa-Maria-Laval-Riveres-shitville

you in the golden horseshoe?
>>
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>b me
>working at bestbuy
>Have a background in IT
>Manager in all of his infinite wisdom plops me in the Apple Department
>Have to take shit all day on a nearly daily basis from loonix and PC enthusiasts for being the inferior computer/OS
>mfw
>Can't argue with customer or discredit Apple products or I'll get in trouble
Worst days of my life working in BestBuy
>>
Cookfag here again, just some amazing tickets that I've seen on my tours.
>1 Chese quesedilla
>MEMO:no cheese

>1 Pork Tacos
>MEMO: no tortillas

>1 Bar steak, 1 Arugula Salad
>MEMO: no side salad bar steak, MFW the steak comes with a side of arugula salad, the fucker paid for what he would've gotten free as a side LMFAO

>1 Veggie Burger
>MEMO: add bacon
LOL

>1 Steak Burrito
>MEMO: no flour tortilla, ADDON: tortillas
fucker wanted to build his own tacos, i guess
>>
>>557437569
best part was getting pulled to help on a truck night and chucking laptops, ipods, and thousands of dollars of tvs and electronics all over the place. just throwing laptops in a pile to put on the floor. don't just use bestbuy as an amazon showroom because it's cheaper, use it as an amazon showroom because some asshole in the back just punted your laptop across the dock.
>>
I love being a housekeeper

>Be working at hotel
>Family comes to drop off their bags
>Has hot wife and loli daughter
>Take note of their bags
>They ask me to bring it up to the room
>Go into their room and drop off their suitcases
>Open a suitcase up
>It's milf and loli daughter undies
>I put my dick in them
>I start jacking off
>Remember I keep a spy pen camera in my pocket for these occasions
>Go to their bathroom and hide it pointing towards shower
>Later that night they go out
>I go to their room to clean up
>Take my spy camera
>Jack off into their dirty underwear once more
>I get off work
>Plug in spy camera into computer
>Watch as they open the bathroom door
>They got on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
>>
>>557437779
We have a major pre-paid area and half our day is helping people pay their phone bills ($0.01 profit at store-level per bill).

>Hello I would like to pay my bill
>What carrier?
>I dunno
>What's the phone number?
>I dunno
>How much do you need to pay
>I dunno

Unfortunately a large percent of people are this retarded.
>>
>>557429247
Feel for you bro. I forced a party of 50 people (they told us there was only gonna be 30 people) to pay gratuity because they left a frickin cake mess from their stupid ass b-day party.

Every single one of those fuckers who were paying a portion of the bill asked if they could not pay it and I was like. "Yeah no, my waits worked really hard tonight so I think they deserve their dues."

None of them were happy about it and my store manager told me later they ALL called in and complained about it and I told her the same thing I told them as well as the details of the situation. Never heard anything else about it.
>>
>>557436563
Another Amusement park story
>Working the magnet fishing game
>Win every time so a lot of little kids
>Mom would help little kids while bending over
>I would see a lot of tits.
>Finally fired for stealing cash as they had no cameras.
>Over 2gs
>My buddy got fired for eating a chicken finger
>>
>>557437258
Welp, she got what she paid for.
>>
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>>557438550
Why didn"t I anticipate this
>>
>>557436963
thanks for reading it.

yeah, well, as bad as it was, least I got some money out of it and learned some shit about dealing with people. and at least all she did was rip me off. the dyke couple were some of the worst fucking people i've ever met in my life. alcoholic child-beating dads aint got shit on them.
>>
>>557435531
Moar please. You're the best.
>>
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I once had a typical fedora wearing neckbeard white knight looking guy come in and buy all of the fedoras we had while I was working the cash register. So he left with 6 fedoras, and he was very happy about finding so many fedoras and how cheap they were. He then tried to flirt with me. I say tried because he said "I like your eyes" to me three times, and when I would thank him for the compliment he would make a quiet but audible squealing noise.

>>557438438
Yeah, I love Montreal but the rest of Quebec is questionable. I've had a few rude people experiences in Quebec, I generally avoid Quebec. And yeah I'm in the Golden Horseshoe. I had to Google that though, I wasn't sure which areas it encompassed lol.
>>
>>557431761
There should be a law against forcing employees to talk up their digital replacements.
>>
>>557438406
>>mfw me 1 nigger 0

He spraed two soft drinks all over you and you had to clean the bathrooms. All he had to do is leave. Another guys had to come in and make him leave. You are pathetic.

Nigger: 1
You: -9000
>>
>>557432545
>>557431761
They also suck tips away from baggers.

And fuck you if you think bagging isn't worth a tip.
>>
>>557427873
holy shit, you're a durham region faggot aren't you?

VV in oshawa, whitby, ajax?
>>
>>557439119
Whitby
>>
>>557428698
>geek squad
You guys are fucking jews
>>
>>557436108
topkek
>>
>>557439167
People in Oshawa love coming and acting like ghetto trash in Whitby, so a lot of my work stories are cause of Dirty 'Shwa people coming to White-by and fucking around.
>>
>>557432141
doesn't apply here because she said it in an indirect way and was actually key to the greentext. Dat /b/ro was funny and cool.
>>
>>557433570

Going to Pennsic this year?
>>
>>557438550
lol haven't seen one of those in a while...
>>
>>557439167
Ajaxfag.

Some of the younger quebecois are cool, especially the montrealers. the rest of them are faggots

durham region sucks in the summer, nothing to do especially if you don't have a place in cottage country
>>
>>557438928
I once had a guy get legitimately angry at me because we didn't carry a specific fedora he saw online.
>>
>>557439334
you can always tell where someone is from by how they reference the schwa.

fuckin white trash man. there and peterborough and lindsay area. what a bunch of hillbillies
>>
>>557436285
That is an amazing experience.
>>
>>557435242

You don't understand he rules very well.
>>
>>557437258
the classic architect's dilemma. what your client wants isn't half as good as what you could do for 'em. fucking been there every goddamn day i've had to draw shit for other people
>>
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>>557436285
this is why so many people carry. Niggers literally are responsible for over half of all crimes in the US and aren't even 8% of the population
>mfw it's 16% in florida
>mfw we magically have high crime
>mfw 1 more year till I can get my CC permit
>>
>>557439504
topkek

>>557439481
Yeah, I've definitely met nice people who are from/in Quebec, but the majority = a bunch of assholes. And I spend my summers in Toronto doing various shit or just staying at playing video games, so it never bothered me. But we did rent cottages or go to other people's cottages a lot, so you're not wrong.

>>557439686
Yeah, basically. I spend a lot of time in Oshawa cause I go to school there, I avoid down town like the plague cause it is just a shitty city.
>>
All you assholes thinking you have it hard in your jobs.

>Work for Catholic Charity organization
>Not Catholic, and not working for free
>Paid $90k a year salary for managing the grunt work on charity events around Texas/Colorado/New Mexico, free travel too

>Usually these events happen in relatively okay places, like downtown areas in major shopping areas collecting charity money and providing free essentials to those in need, toiletries and shit
>Get details for next event, it's described as 'inner city Houston'
>Not worried, thought it would be usually place like the skyscraper area of Houston

>Arrive, and are driven to the 'venue'
>Quite literally china-town
>Except it's all Vietnamese
>These events are relatively well advertised in places the homeless would see them, like bus benches and shit
>Mainly helping out chinkies, and having to have a translator on speaker phone to answer questions

>Suddenly, a wild pack of niggers appears in china town
>White doo-rags, stained wife-beaters, shitty jeans and obviously stolen shoes
>"Yo where we be gettin our free food!"
>"Uh, sir, we would be happy to provide local food charities around the area, but we are only helping out with things like toiletries and hygiene."

>Queue nigger rage, "Yu raciss, you ain't given food cuz yu hate niggas"
>Pulls out pistol, chinks go fucking crazy
>Chink man, easily 60, pulls out a fucking huge pistol of his own
>Nigger actually has the audacity to fire in the air
>Chink man shoots nig-nog in the arm
>Chinks applaud, many still going ape-shit
>Nig-nog pack flees the scene
>Have to wait for 10 hours past the closing point of the charity to give witness reports to several sets of cops to describe the chink man
>Chink man was nowhere to be seen

>This entire section of the town smelled like catpiss
>>
>>557426778
do you work at that value village on dixie
>>
>>557433096
im ordering delivery from every pizza store that will deliver on new years eve thanks to this post
.. except papa johns, they can cheat as they are right around the corner and they can run to my door as fast as they can drive(no major roads in between, juts one residential road)
>>
>>557439104

Bagging is not worth a tip. Walmart doesn't have baggers, the cashiers do it. I do your job and more and I neither expect nor receive a tip.

Yes, I am mad and my butt is hurt.
>>
>>557439926
Mfw when there are literally only 2 niggers in the city I live in (population 6000)
>>
>not my job just helping out a friend's store
>doing repairs on his work computer
>he co-owns a psychic shop with his mom
>some guy comes in, dude's got this massive, overstuffed backpack and one of those fishing hats with all the pockets and shit all over them
>i'm behind the counter working on my friend's computer, friend is in the other room fixing a display some nigger kids knocked over
>dude says "Hey", I don't react because I don't work there and I don't think he's talking to me
>"WHAT THE HELL DON'T IGNORE ME"
>almost fall out of chair
>"Sorry man, didn't think you were talking to me, I don't work here. What's up?"
>"You should talk to it."
>"... What?"
>"The computer. Talk to it."
>"I... I don't..."
>"You see, the vibrations of your voice interface with the energy field around the computer and contribute to correcting any and all issues the computer might be having."
>I have been doing IT for years, I have never fucking heard anything this shit in years.
con't
>>
>>557432545
>>557439104

Sure, I don't support self-serve either.
But, I'm just doing my job, it's not like I was the fucker who created and implemented them.
I worked as a normal cashier for two years before they put me onto self serve - it's so arbitrary and thoughtless abusing someone who's just trying to make a living.

>>557438932

I know, as if the corporation I work for isn't making billions of dollars a day.
Greedy fucks.
>>
>>557440071
I worked in the one in Whitby at Kendalwood (sp?) plaza. I don't work there any more, I quit a few months ago, but I had good times working there.
>>
>>557440150
I meant "never heard anything this insane".
My bad.

>I have no idea how to react to this fucking lunatic, I'm stammering and starting to panic a little now
>Friend comes in and saves me
>The dude buys some rocks, shoves them in his hat, then stares at me while I work at my friend's computer
>Friend distracts him, I slip into the back office and wait until he tells me the guy's left
>Dude's outside waiting for me as I leave
>Gets all excited, starts trying to give me a pamphlet about something I really don't even know anymore
>I run away to my car
Now I only do repairs at my friend's store after closing.
>>
>>557432821
you can carry your own fucking shit to the car you cheap faggot
>>
I was team captain of my high school's robotics team during my senior year. I feel as though there's not any one moment that sucked more than any other, rather it was one homogenous cesspool of ass.

>Year-end banquet 2013
>They're holding elections for head captain
>3 candidates, introduced by the head mentor, whom I'll get to later
>me
>Some wannabe military dick who's smarter than the fatty but sucks at socializing
>And the cream of the crop, the reason that this story is necessary, the most physically, mentally, and emotionally unfortunate person ever to exist
>A flat-chested autistic fat chick
>A combination more elusive and tragic than a black midget amputee
>Truly a sight to behold
>She delivers her sad, awful speech through layers of tears
>Clearly she regrets every second of the speech
cont'd
>>
So I work security for McDonald's on weekends. 99% of the time it's all free food, playing games on my phone and smoking. Sometimes shit can get funny as fuck. I work with an older black lady.

>Two bars on the same street. Both empty out at 2am.
>We shut doors at 3am and drive through is open all 24/7.
>Once the doors are shut, thats it. The only way you're getting food is if you are in a car.
>Drunk sluts are the best.
>Always causing issues.
>Cute cashier taking orders. Darkie wants a sundae.
>Sundae machine self cleans at 2.
>Full rage mode activated.
>Jumps on the counter yelling and shit.
>Black co-worker gets right up in there.
>Yelling and screaming some shit I can't understand.
>Cutie worker fills up sundae cup with the no hot milk the machine spits out when cleaning.
>Tips is right on her head.
>Darkie ragequits and walks out.
>MFW all the guys outside start giving her shit.


Shit goes down there sometimes and I die each night. Best job I have ever had.
>>
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>>557440632
I don't even know how to react to this
>>
>>557439992
DC or UOIT? Former/returning Yorkfag here
>>
>>557435716
DQ crew fag here. This is relevant to my line of work. Continue.
>>
>>557422275
Yeah, I work at Target. It's generally pretty good all-in-all, especially for retail, but it has its bad days. However, I'm always really fucking glad I don't work in fast food. Fuck. All. That. I'm not comfortable handling what people are going to eat to begin with, between grass allergies and possible undiagnosed IBS (it's bad yo). I'd much rather work in this preppy red store, lift heavy things and be nice to guests than be in a greasy, hot kitchen full of assholes.
>>
>>557437474
You're* a neck beard.
>>
>>557440651
nigger, when I was a bagger I fucking took literal tons of shit to people's cars for zero tips
>>
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>>557439032
Don't be sad, Tyrone
>>
>>557439104
It's not you fag.
>>
>>557440031
it's like an inverse version of that clit eastwood version
>>
>>557438406
>be me
>early morning and my girlfriend needs some coffee
>bring her to tim hortons because I'm a nice guy
>spot some delicious flavored beverages while waiting in line
>when I go to ring them up this racist teenage prick starts mocking me
>get mad and spray juice all over him
>eventually some guy escorts me out where I calm down
>later I find out he has to clean bathrooms
>mfw me 1 douchebag 0
>>
>>557440694
I was captain of my robotics team in senior year too.
The whole team was niggers.
They voted that our team logo be the Wu-Tang Clan thing.
I don't fucking know anything about the Wu Tang Clan
They all hate me when I tell them we can't use the logo because the team sponsor's don't approve of it, and our logo can't be an existing trademark anyway.
Like five of them quit the team the next day, so now it's just me and the only other white kid.
We get to the third round then lose to this one team that exploits loopholes in the rules every single year.
Why were there even niggers in robotics
>>
>>557440973
Trent (Oshawa campus) actually.
>>
>>557438416
Here's a tip, uses red bricks on the outside, grey on the inside, and do it like an arch with flat sides, but leave one brick out at the top for ventilation, my first furnace was like this with a grill rack in the middle
>>
>>557431745
leave her alone TITS OR GTFO only applies to "rate me" whores and camwhores
>>
>>557441389
neat
>>
>>557441325
>not greentexting, but putting in greentext format.
Love that New Fag smell!
>>
>>557439119
i have never seen someone from around here before...
bowmanville here
>>
>>557424724

Imagine this story with chuck e cheese, welcome to what happens there constantly
>>
>>557440694
>Military guy delivers his speech. He promises decent shit, but it's bad
>I deliver my piece, which I bothered to prepare beforehand
>Vote is held
>I win

>Later

>End of banquet, I'm approached my fat chick
>"I was gonna tell you that I was gonna kill myself if I didn't get the position, but I decided not to. Congratulations."
>I shrug her off; she's always had a penchant for attempting manipulative bullshit

>Team doesn't meet again for 2 weeks
>During that time, it occurred to me that fatty was going to attempt to fuck me over
>Prepare for bullshit tidal wave as I enter meeting
>Nothing happens the whole time; we discuss summer plans and shit
>Almost think I'm ok
>Called over by Mike, the head mentor
>Fuck.

cont'd

>>557441325
I feel ya man. I had the joy of being on a primarily white team. but our track record with niggers was awful. They'd generally leave after 2 weeks, generally after being told to get off their cell phones
>>
>>557427332
Your store manager is a fucking pussy for letting her leave.
>>
>>557418713
Work at Grocery Store as Sales Associate
See guy walk in and walk around the store looking at products
After pacing the store he beelines to me
Asks if we sell food
Shocked by the dumbass question I blank out for about 15 minutes.
Come back to and he left
>>
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>>557440139
what utopia is this?
>>
>>557418713

What kind of retard would ask a Best Buy about a purchase they're going to make on Amazon instead of looking up online reviews?
>>
>>557441841
We let her go cause the cops were hella busy, we called them but they said they wouldnt be able to send anyone out for a while because they were searching for a missing person and found the body so every cop was there. We decided to just let her go, it wasnt much of a loss and the screaming was annoying.
>>
>>557430225
I work as a driver at dominos and tis just happenned today.
>3rd delivery of the day
>get to house
>the whole family is outside
>couple of kids playing
>mom and dad sitting on porch
>dad has a beer in his hand
>just glad that they are ready for the pizza they ordered
>walk up to parents

Hello sir how are you?
>Wow. you are fat but fast. here keep it
>hands me a $50 bill
>order is $30

Sir are you sure?
>yeah keep it

anyone can call me fat for $20/
>>
>>557442056

Best Buy employee*
>>
>>557440031
chinks, nips, gooks, etc. generally are pragmatic and understand how well they have it in the US, even if first generation. 160 years of freedom and niggers are still niggers
>>
>>557425628
You're one of those faggots. Seems to be a lot of your type in this thread. Afraid of paying one dollar too much? Bloody Hindoos.
>>
>>557442174
Damn, I'd kill for a $20 tip. I'm a driver for a pizza place called Palio's.
>>
>>557441792
Every team I was ever involved in, I ended up being captain of because everyone else was a nigger. Robotics? Niggers. Video games? Niggers. Math? Niggers. Not even just smart black people, just straight up stereotypical muhfuggin bix nood whitey fuckin hatin on me niggers. Also, I went to a technical school. We had some pretty cool extracurriculars. There was an amateur game design team housed in the computer tech department that I was captain of because niggers. I was captain of the debate team because niggers. Why do they join? It's all after school, they don't fucking care about it, you don't get extra credit, why do they fucking join?
>>
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>>557441039
You're gonna love this one
>b me working at nigdonalds,still
>It's 7a.m.'ish I'm mopping the kitchen
>Out of the blue a customer is now screaming and going completely into a hulk-like rage
>I have no idea what the hell is going on or what he was saying but he was clutching a muffin in one of his hands so I assumed they screwed up his order and he was having none of it
>I could see by the cashiers hand gestures he was trying to calm him down
> His rage clearly climax's and he just whips the muffin right past the cashier and into the kitchen
>hits my manager who was working at the hashbrown station 3 feet from where the cashier was standing
>audible splay.mp3
>mfw
>complete silence
>He panics and runs out
>Never saw him again, never will that day be forgotten.
>>
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>>557442174
Damn, nice tip.

Btw, you're fat.
>>
>>557442408
because their churches make them so they can get scholarships and get into historically black colleges
>>
>>557425845
Hey, you may want to wear some gloves. I worked laundry when I was in jail, and I actually took my job seriously. Every day, panties came in with a green discharge on them. It was probably bacterial vaginosis. One time I found a towel that was just dipped in shit. It looked like the guy had shoved it up his ass, let it sit for six hours, then pulled it back out. I washed it and handed it back to the booking officer, telling him the story. He threw it out.

Always wear your gloves.

The pinkish goo was probably a woman wiping herself after sex.
>>
>>557442486
Is that supposed to be a female what the hell is that?
>>
>>557432793
dat disclaimer, so is the disclaimer BS or the stories?
>>
>>557419157

You live in MN? I work like 3 blocks from BB corporate
>>
>>557442810
It's George Washington stupid.
>>
>>557438463
He obviously put you in apple because he thought you would be smart enough to sell the products even though they're overpriced and shitty.
It sounds like he was wrong.

You're not selling the truth, you're selling whatever they tell you you're selling.
>>
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>>557441325
>lose to this one team that exploits loopholes in the rules every single year.

stay mad faggot. That was my school in 2012. I think it was FTC and the rules had a multiplier for how high a stacked box with a ball in it was off the ground
>but didn't say it had to be stacked on another box
>mfw we built a 10 foot high collapsible jack and our robot did nothing but put 2 balls in a basket, put a basket on the roof of the bot, then extend that shit 10ft in the air
>mfw we came in 3rd in the state
the buttmad by non cheating teams was glorious
>>
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>>557442810
>>
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>>557438550
>>
>contracting in Afghanistan
>tag along with coworkers to DFAC
>the one driving the Mule is a fucktard
>full throttle, hits gravel, cranks wheel all the way to the right
>Mule flips
>window breaks
>I end up under another coworker with glass slicing into my arm
>do basic first aid on myself, medic I see later is pissed that I didn't come right in because I needed stitches and he couldn't do it

>find out later that fucktard nigger supervisor was going to fire the front seat passenger
>barring that, would have fired me
>verbal counseling because I didn't tell driver to slow down
>driver kept job, didn't get into trouble
>wat
>>
>>557442802
Prison jobs are always the fucking best.

Worked as a commissary, essentially had to sort through mail, handle the prisoners money, and sell shit to them.

I can tell stories about that, or the year I took to work on a cruise-ship for the experience of it, so much bullshit happens on those.
>>
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>Be me, 13
>Thankfully homeschooled so I didn't end up a retard by having to skip school for work, could take school with on the job
>Dad maintains multiple olympic sized swimming pools all at once
>Need my help
>Tis a 7 day a week job
>Often pulling 12-36 hr shifts
>Did that until last year, am now 21
>Made good money (12/hr) but holy fuck
>No social life (too covered in algae, pool chems and sweat for any QT at the pool to want, too busy too)
>Long as fuck hours
>No time to spend that money on anything
>Work and school, that was it
>always soaking wet from pool water and sweat, so rashes, ear infections and mosquitos were a constant
>always tired
>always
>TIRED
>FOR YEARS
>Even worked on indoor pools so there was no off season
>Just the two of us maintaining about 8 pools at a time every day of every week
>FOR 8 FUCKING YEARS
>Fuck your pools, fuck your tropics, fuck everything, I'm heading to the mountains where no pools exist, and if they do, I don't have to deal with them!
>>
>>557443182
I want prison stories
>>
>>557442174
anyone else want pizza driver stories?
>>
>>557435984
>with tax the sandwich costs about $5

To be honest, i'd be pissed too if you're telling me I have to pay 4.75 and then ask 5. It's not hard to include taxes in your price. It's just false advertisement and misleading to say something costs less than it will cost someone. Not your fault, but subways fault. Or is this common practice in Murrica?
>>
>>557442819
the disclaimer's there so those psycho lesbos don't get to sue me. if i used the name of the place i worked at or their names it's probably a slander charge or some shit
>>
>>557425628
Don't be a tool, you silly dumb fuck. He's not being paid by Best Buy to answer questions so some fuckwit can go to Amazon. If people don't buy from his store, then there won't be a store and he won't have a job at the store that no longer exists. He has a vested interest in his store succeeding, not some twat being able to purchase something.
>>
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Ok I got one! Part. 1

>be me working at joes crab shack
>have a table of 20 come in
>all didnt show up at once mostly groups of 3-4 coming in
>most of the people are there so i ask to take there order
>"were gonna wait till everyone gets here then take our order"
>after an our entire party finally shows up
>give newcomers a minute to look over menu
>taking orders
>reach the other side of the table where a lady asks me whats in the house salad
>uhh.jpg
>"lettuce, cheese, croutons, tomatoes."
>lady in front of her decides to speak up
>can she get broccoli in that salad
>wtf.jpg
>"yeah its just gonna be an up-charge."
>lady freaks the fuck out
>"Theres gonna be an upcharge when all shes getting in a house salad?"
>Told bitch that i dont make the rules of the restaurant
>Bitch's hunband literally "OOOOOHHH!" 's out loud
>heprobablythinksshesabitchtoo.jpg
>>
>>557443182
gib prision stories plx
>>
>>557443256
Yes
>>
>>557429247
I know you don't say it, but they were niggers, weren't they?
>>
>>557443008
What state would this be?
Do you remember the competition where you had to collect pucks from a loader and then put them into a hoop?
>but they never said you couldn't touch the other team's pucks
So they fucking built this really fast robot that had a wedge and basket that zipped along, knocked the enemy's pucks into the basket, then used a claw to grab one of their own pucks, put it in the 1 point goal, then run around the other robot being an asshole.
They win every year.
>>
>>557442469
>nigdonalds
>audible splat
Lost my shit.
Mc D customers sound like the most diverse group in the US. DQ is pretty bland, and the stories I posted are few and far between. Minimum wage jobs are fun until you have to get back to work.
>>557434638
>>
>>557443301
Yes, that and also you make extra money after so many sales. People don't understand that.
>>
Cont.

later
>got all the orders in
>different lady, seems very nice and is super hot, asks me if her sons food can come out before everyone else.
>tell her that ive already put all the orders in and i cant make her any promises
>entire rest of the time the entire table is pretty chill besides the lady who freaked out on my
>notmyproblem.jpg
>continue giving bomb ass service to them

meals finished
>of course bitch lady wants to see a manager
>sure
>they leave
>manager wants to talk to me

Complaints from the table (actually just the one lady)
>i didn't take there order for an hour (uhh because they fucking told me not to take there order till everyone was there)
>the seemingly nice lady said her sons food didn't come out on time (i told her i couldn't make any guarantees)
>manager then tells me that im getting written up for that table
>flip the fuck out
>told my manager that was complete bullshit
>refused to sign write up papers because i was doing my job right she was just a shitty person
>manager never made me sign a write up paper
>fuckyeah.jpg

Wound up quitting that place like a month later cause it was a piece of shit.
>>
>>557443180

>also, no report, supervisor refused to report incident because it would make him look back, also constantly tried to get niggers promoted
>once mistook Filipino for nigger and made snide comments about their kind having to stick together
>the anal reaming was amazing
>>
>>557443290
learn how to do fucking math you dumb nigger
Thread posts: 329
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