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Life hacks thread
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 207
Thread images: 88
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Life hacks thread
>>
cheat on ur exams
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start deliver
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Contributing
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this one is precious
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this is not kill, really works, tried once, very good
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always praise lord satan
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>>557009001

Boy's room should be blue to encourage his natural/genetic highly productive nature.
>>
>>
>>
this would be fun to see
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>>
>>
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this one works so much and so smooth, she doesn't even notice.
this tip earned me 3 girls
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>>
Literally everything posted here makes mustard gas
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these subtle things always make winrar
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>>557010345
no, this one makes flamethrower
>>
before this tip: 999x dirt on my face
after this tip: 0
>>
oh, gold is shit near this tip
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>>557010858
will keep posting here untill I run out of life hacks

I once dated a girl that treated to waitress as shit. I kept seeing her two tames after our first date, shit storm came on my head
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>>557009489
wouldnt this just churn up an assload of suds and flood the bathroom?
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>>557011272
It'll make mustard gas too
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I used this with a crazy girl I dated for some months. I would love to shake hands of the bastard who wrote this, I came so much
>>
>>557008341
can we get more stuff like this?
>>
>>557011272
My guess is that, who wrote that, believes that shit able to clog a toilet is full of dissolved non-digested fat. If you use soap, you "wash" the fat out and it's easier to run off your toilet system
I once tried it with hot water + soap + bleach, my clogged toilet is working normal till today (' year passed)
>>
>>557011486
you ask, you get
just wait till I collect all of them
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>>557010391
If you srsly need to read internet le maymays for your social cues and basic social behavior then fucking kill yourself.
>>
>>557011432

What's the point of this though? Does it give them a better looking figure? Or is it just subtle BDSM?
>>
Any weed related life hacks
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>>557011486
You must be a nigger. Get a job and buy your own shit you fucking faggot
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>>557012479
Take this.
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>>557012479
If you inject 12 marijuanas you die
Injecting just one marijuana makes you gay
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Have little info hacks.
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>>557011486
1/7
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>>557012479
don't smoke it
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>>557012739
It's true, my brother died that way.
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>>557011995
there's a lot of people I believe that will enjoy this. Shove your rage in your anus

>>557012298
subtle bdsm

2/7
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>>557012760
that's the last of them.
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>>557007174
>>557007275
Good contribution, anon
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3/7
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlA_YXDm9bg
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4/7
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>>557007619
>wordbank

I have never laughed so hard in my life.
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>>557007619
What is this?
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5/7
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6/7
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7/7/7/7/7/7/7/7/7/7/7/7
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I'm going to take a shit, don't let the thread die

when I get back, I post more
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>>557007516
Which first floor? First floor is ground floor in some places.
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>>557007619
invaluable
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Oh, do I have some shit.
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>>557013853
thanx 4 dumping
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>>557010923
herto?
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>>557015309
>Homemade?
As oppose to store bought?
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I'm delivering so much because I had to go out with a girl today, but she had some problems and cancelled the date

Now I'm drinking alone and dumping shit on 4chan. Also, took a shit on my own unclogged toilet
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>>557008693
how does one use this?
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>>557015846
Sure, why not?
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>>557015504
These are fucking delish but like 800 calories per biscuit if you make 3 biscuits per recipe
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>>557015930
you'll only prevail by satan's side if you're smart, dumbfuck
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>>557009208
thi
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>>557015930
well you rolled a 30 so i guess go draw a summonging circle and some sigils and then summon up digdin
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>>557010391
this is why girls are so creeped out by dudes on OKC. you never lead with a compliment on their looks.
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>>557010345

learn the meaning of literally bro.

beans don't make mustard gas.
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>>557016841
>beans don't make mustard gas.

Yes, they do - my brother died that way.
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>>557009489
doesn't soap float in water?
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>>557016841
no, the beans produce sulfuric assid, just as deadly.
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>>557016461
1. I noticed that, if I compliment her name, most girls get happy on the very start of the conversation. Like:
>me: hello
>she: hi
>me: what's your name? mine is anon
>she: carol
>me: carol is such a cute name, really fits you
it doesn't even need to be something so vague, it's not common for a guy to compliment a girl's name, so she'll be happy to hear it. And you know how it is, girls love new stuff

2. Other good tip I learned is that you're not allowed to have only one girl at your aim. You should have at least 3 girls to talk and flirt all the time, it gives you a lot of experience on flirting and you get less stressed if you receive a no or if things don't go quite the way you wanted

3. Whenever a date goes bad/doesn't work out, don't worry, try relaxing and using your time to get your mind out of the frustration. Thinking and re-thinking on the heat of the moment only makes you angry or sad, makes your self esteem low and kills your mood

4. Always make sure that the circle of girls you date is big enough so they don't know each other, but small enough that all the girls inside the circle get the news of how good you're in bed/kissing/talking and hanging out. It's a golden tip, that's how propaganda works best. If one fag start using a product and he ikes it, he will spread the news to his friends and everyone tend to use the product too. Ladies work like this, if she likd you, her friend now knows about you and gossip spreads like the wind
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>>557016382
is this some system32 shit or what
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>>557017723
No
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>>557013853
thanks m8
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>>557017951
you're welcome /b/ro, I lurked so much here that now I should give back what I got
>>
Anymore
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>>557017719
yeah i've gotten laid at least a dozen times directly from OKC, and 0 landhwales. it really is not hard to do, provided your profile isn't fucking weird and you look halfway normal.

i get better results from regular message than IM, but i'm a good writer. i still get responses on the IM, but they're more likely to just go on endlessly until one of us gets bored.

tip 2 is key - unless you're seriously dating a girl, just keep messaging and adding more to your roster, as long as they dont know each other.

i don't think tip 4 really matters unless you're in a less populated area where there aren't a lot of women on OKC. if you're good, they'll keep coming back. if you're good at closing the deal, you don't have to rely on word of mouth.

overall, good advice, r8 6/8
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>>557015868
Works just fine ! Thanks m8
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>>557013853
how do you split the signal to get cable tv? more info pls based anon
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>>557017719
nope
>>
>>557017925
>>557016382

does it only work if you've done this pre-emptively (aka just on your computer), or if youre fucked can you go to another windows 8 computer and burn to dvr?
>>
5. Best ways to practice flirting: talking to strangers that you're not interested. That grandma walking on the park, that sir who works on the supermarket, the janitor, the mcdonalds ladies: if you talk with people, you'll learn how to talk to people. Simple like that. The more you talk, more you know about clever things to say, how to tell jokes, what you can and can't say/act/do. Also, talking with random people may open your world

6. While talking to a girl, avoid making men jokes (physical jokes, disgusting jokes, offending jokes). Women are socially fit to think these ways are disgusting and you shall fail.
Avoid making jokes that talk bad about yourself. Don't try to look like the clown that everyone laughs about: she's not laughing about your joke, she's laughing about you.

7. Be polite, respect her. The best way to make a woman get closer to you is making her trust you. The best way to bring trust is respecting when she say no, when she say yes and when she gives her opinion, even though you don't agree. Be polite, fuck.

cont?
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>>557016382
or you could just get a linux live usb and browse their files without their knowledge.

>they'll know somethings up when they have no fucking password to log on
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>>557019160

No shit Sherlock
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>>557018541
Thanks man, I learned these tips after getting rejected at least 15 times. When I started using the tips, and changed wardrobe and other stuff, girls became easy

>>557018771
I don't know

>>557018984
I don't know, I use win7. Poorfag here
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>>557019160
yas
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>>557019160
you just lost 98% of /b/ with #7

i don't need the advice muhself, but i commend you for attempting to provide a needed service around these parts. prob not worth continuing unless someone asks
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>>557006643
I have a folder filled with hundreds of life hacks and infographics which was uploaded by an anon a few months ago. It's all categorised and everything. Anyone interested? It's about 800Mb so it might take a while to compress and upload.
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>>557019637
Oh, this one I've tried before. Works like a bitch, windows is easy to browse using a linux booted UBS
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>>557019917

Pls do m80, I'm always looking for new shit
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>>557019917

No Rats pls
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>>557014304
My Grandfather had one of those set up in his cottage to get rid of all the mice, it worked really well.

6 months worth of dead mice.
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>>557019917
then start compressing now. It the thread is kill, make a new one with using any photo of shrek you like
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>>557020396

It's all ogre now
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>>557019917
compression almost done
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>>557007973
actually Botulinum toxin is the deadliest poison known to man faggot
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>>557020837

Sweet shit m8, thanks
>>
To prevent brain cancer, kill yourself
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>>557014642
her to
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>>557021029
no problem, where should I upload this shit?
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>>557019160
ofc faggot
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>>557021534
Sendspace, Mediafire, Dropbox, Firedrive, Mega whatever you like (preferrably mega)
>>
8. On the second date, get a gift for the girl. It must be something meaningful and cheap. You don't need expensive gifts to make a girl like what she's getting, you need a) the most perfect box/paper/envelope you find, b)something that makes her remember about you. If she said that she likes something, it's a tip for a gift. I once gave a simple chocolate to a girl, she loved it (not fat, 8/10)

9. While flirting, use your body and her body at your will. Learn to read body language, give her signals on your body language and read her signals. This is the best tip to learn what's the finest moment to kiss. Also, body language works every fucking time with every fucking person

10. Find a passion and invest time making yourself better at it. You love playing guitar? Love to cook? You learned once how to make origamis and got addicted? Great, once you master this passion, you can make a surprise anytime you want. I learned it with a girl: we used to study together, and I never looked much at her (she was 6/10). Then, one day she started making origamis during the class, I was amazed and she made, like, 30 small stuff on folded paper for me. We started talking, dated and fucked. Then I found out that she was also great at blowjobs, it helped a lot.

11. Remember: if a girl is master at origami, she's master at blowjob.

Ended here, too crazy to keep writing shit. Good night niggros
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>>557021534
What this guy said anon
>>557021823
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>>557009489
This sounds like a very bad idea
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>>557021823
uploading now, should be done in about 35 minutes.
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>>557022457

35? Sheeit, probably gonna have to make a new thread then mate
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>>557022592
Do it nigger
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>>557022457
If the thread 404's
>>557020396
Do that
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>>557014787
Will this act like regular chloroform?
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>>557022457

DON'T DIE AT ME
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>>557010059

this didn't work with me

;_;
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>>557015030
thats all DDoSing is?
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>>557022457
How much time is left?
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>>557024402
Good. The moment she put the movie in the room would fill with mustard gas
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>>557024583

no u need le loic canon xd
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>>557024583
Yes and no, This is specifically referenced as Ping of Death. A DDos attack is constantly attacking a specific port, preventing normal function.
>>
>>557024402
how it doesn't work?
>Girl: oh, I love 10 things I hate about you, such cute movie!
>You: I never watched this movie, is it good?
>Girl: you WHAT? Now we're DEFINITELY watching it!

Profit, my /bro.
This tip doesn't work only if she doesn't want to watch a movie with you (movies give time and a good environment for you two to know each other, have fun and make make out)
>>
>>557024640
the upload failed at 25%. im sorry.

my internet couldnt take it.
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>>557006775
OMG I did this and the whole exam just exploded!
I almost died there.
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>>557015116
That's a mustard gas bomb for crying out loud! Do not break anywhere near self or prepare for your lungs to start melting
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>>557024962
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>>557020845
Nigga are you Harry Potter?
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>>557025052
thanks for ruining it, fuckass.
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>>557024962
Try Mediafire, Sendspace, Dropbox or Firedrive
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>>557024962
Pls no
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>>557018771
That image is a little outdated but it still somewhat applies today. You will need a digital cable-ready tv iwth a coaxial input, then you just install a coaxial splitter on the cable for the modem and run one to the modem and one to the tv, you will get basic channels and no features its basically the same as what broadcast tv is but a few more channels.
>>
>>557024895

i asked her what her favorite movie was

she told me what it was and to watch it

oh well

i'll just find the nearest feels thread

;_;
>>
>>557024962
Try again or something?
>>
>>557024962
stick with the shrek idea
shrek is love
>>
>>557025028
It released Mustard Gas on explosion. Seek a hospital nao.
>>
>>557011432
Any more like this?
>>
>>557025486
Nah man, it's not needed to look for feels threads
Once you're sad, your brain uses the neurotransmitters released, because your brain is an ol big junkie. Destroy the stash of sadness, be a man and start talking with some girls. The average guy has to talk to 10-20 girls, untill he get the number of 8-15, date 5-10 and have sex with 2-5. One more no means that you're getting closer to the yes, like playing roulette: if you bet 1000 times, you'll win at least one, so keep betting.

If she didn't say "let's watch it", she was either uninterested in you OR you said it the wrong way

On my best friend birthday, I gave him a book: http://www.amazon.com/How-Succeed-Women-Louis/dp/0130950912

Buy or download it. I read like 10 pages before I buy, it's worth a try, the book has a lot of details and examples. Any neckbeard can learn and succed. Good luck, stop being a big pussy and go for it.
>>
>>557026820
>>
>>557026820
Redpill virgin detected
>>
>>557027587
This man WATCHED a movie with a grill.. anon...

>>557026820
the book is 1 penny
>>
>>557027393
download the book, endure the first 20 pages and then profit. I just asked my friend and these pages are the worst (he said that the book just kept repeating how good it was and how much people got laid because of the book).

Look at me: 3 years ago, I was a skinny jewnigger, sad, dumped by my ex girlfriend and alone. 15 girls said no to me, until I realize that I had to work my self esteem. Started working out, running and swimming, saved some money and bought better clothes, studied about how to look good on clothes (yes, it's worth a try, you can dress like a hobo and still look like a hot hobo), started to take care of my skin and haircut, got new pair of shoes. I saw myself as a prince. My self esteem was so high that my cock sometimes beat my chin when I walked nude to the bathroom.
I started flirting, suffered with more no, but some girls started to come interested. First the ugly ones. Then, the cuter. And at last, the hot and cute girls. It was a matter of time and never giving up.

Right now, the girl I would date had problems as I said before. I already talked with 3 more girls and I have exactly 3 new dates for this week.
Yes brother, it's possible to make the hard path that leads you from beta-village to alpha-metropolis

I have faith in you, fucking faggot
>>
>>557008693
rolling for dark lord skirsdag
>>
>>557028743
Bumping for based anon to upload the folder despite his shit connection.
>>
>>557008693
rolling for macabre curiosity
>>
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>>
>>557020845
Thallium
>>
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this
>>
>>557028617
>3 new dates for this week.
Is this immoral? I'm only asking because I'm kinda setting myself up for this. You're not officially dating anyone, so it should be alright to hang out with 3 individual females on different days? Should I not mention the other females to the others?
>>
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>>557029260
Thallium is very toxic but the most potent toxic still is Botulinum untill we find a more potent one.
>>
>>557029959
Great advice. I've been doing this for a while on my early 93 Camry. With technology progressing so quickly in recent years, I'd say that it's safe to do on anything 10 years old or older
>>
>>557006643
Well that's useful OP
>>
>>557029858
Is this bait? Of course you dont fucking mention it, and if it comes up, say they're "just a friend" youre catching up with.

The fact you've lined up 3 will give you ridiculous confidence and swagger, and a carefree "If I get rejected tonight I still have 2 more this week" kind of vibe that chicks say they hate, but actually love. I cant remember the term but its something like pre determined attractiveness, if a wench sees other wenches finding you attractive, she will too.
Does that DIY thermite work or is it bullshit mustard gas?
>>
>>557029858
man, since I got dumped, I never looked for serious relations and I use every single date to know the women and learn more. I got to say, I felt passion for every single woman I ever dated, I had feelings for every one of them, but never - never - loved them or thought it wasn't right to do it.

It's not immoral. You're not attached to each other. You're not her fiance, you're not her boyfriend, nor her husband. You two want to hang out and have fun, it's not a crime to try and have a lot of fun with a lot of people. Maybe, if you're the romantic kind of guy, you'll end up finding a girl that suits you best.

But be aware: NEVER talk about a girl with another girl. Avoid talking about your ex or the girl you fucked last week. Talking about other dates during a date is one of the strongest signals that you're not interested on the girl.

Two weeks ago I met a girl, she was a solid 9/10, but was alone and sad about it. She couldn't understand how men used her, just made out/had sex and then forgot about her. While we talked, I understood: she only talked about her problems, her past relations and the guys she met on the past and she dated/fucked. It's a complete turn off, it made me want to make exactly the same and use her.
Instead, I was smarter: I kept her as a friend and now she can present me to her friends, and I know that the girls she hang with are all hot.

The more shots you give, the higher are your chances to hit the target.
>>
>>557008693
k
>>
bamp
>>
>>557030951
The one time I had a girlfriend, I went out a few times and girls have never been so attracted to me. Seriously one came up to me and drunk kissed me. So I get what you're saying, and with the whole "I still have 2 more this week" would give me the confidence to not really worry about 1 particular girl.

>>557031662
I couldn't stand talking to girls about past relationships, so I get where you're coming from. That's a good idea to keep girls around, I don't have many friends as it is so it couldn't hurt. I also know what you mean when conversations are just one sided, shit drives me up a wall. But good on you for thinking ahead. So now do you just shoot the shit with her?
>>
>>557015504
like pancake mix? or what?
>>
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AND THE BOOK???
>>
>>557020837
Thanks Liam
>>
>>557034190
Its a mix of both. Youre more chilled out and not trying to pull, and on top of that the girls find you even more attractive (Presumably having a gf proves youre not a serial killer or the like.)

Its retarded but a decent life lesson I suppose.
>>
>>557020845
Tetradotoxin is actually the most potent posion to humans. It's a god damn irreversible sodium channel blocker. Are you fucking me?
>>
>>557013347

Lol'd. Thanks, Anon.
>>
>>557034190
I'm not a native english speaker, so I had troubles here. If by "shoot the shit with her" you mean that I friendzoned her, yes, you're right.
She is a friend of my cousin. Me and my cousin live like brother and sister, we take care of each other a lot. When she found that her friend played a dumbass with me, she called the girl saying "you will never find a guy like anon for you, can't you see that all the cool guys I ever put on your way were just used like toys for you? I believe that you will never have a chance with a guy like him, he would treat you right, but now you lost your chances. Don't count on me to bring guys to you now, cunt!". They actually had a fight, I was by my cousin's side listening to everything. I still don't know what reaction I should have.
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>>557035563
According to wikipedia:
Botulinum: 10–13 ng/kg when inhaled.
Tetrodotoxine: 2 (?g/kg) when inhaled.

Inhalation was the only factor that was tested on humans for tetrodotoxine so its the only relevant factor.

conclusion Botulinum is more potent according to wikipedia.
>>
>>557036870
>shoot the shit with her
like just chatting.

wow i wish I had a friend like your cousin, my friends are shit and talk behind my back. Which is why i'm in this situation, and i'm no longer friends with them.
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>>557010923
who the fuck is herto
>>
>>
>>557037865
I dunno but she sounds like a landwhale.
>>
>>557037525
I never had problems with friends. In fact, I have very long friendships, like, there's a guy I know from 11 years, he's still my friend.
Just by changing yourself you'll succed more on social relations. You can find good friends in job, university, highschool, whatever the fuck you have, unless you don't interact with real humans.

I defend my cousin a lot too. When she got dumped real hard by her ex boyfriend, the fucktard kept taunting her. He never happened to met or see me, just heard about. I went to a party with my cousin and and she pretended I was dating her (no kiss, just hugging her and being very close, like a couple). He got very nervous and never taunted her again.
As I said before, I have faith in you. Knowing you have a trouble, realizing it is the first step to make changes.
>>
>>557010923
le tips fedora
>>
BUMB
>>
>>557038905
never used OKcupid before
>"it's not about the fedora in your head"
>"it's about the fedora on your heart"
>>
>>557016568
>Add Cilantro
>carboxylic acid binds to heavy metals such as mercury in the blood.
>mercury in blood.
>mercury
Thread replies: 207
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