Realistically, you can turn your light and air blaster on high and aim it at the nigga in front of you. If he asks you to turn it down, tell him that you think the plane is "Hot like the Sudan". Be sure not to be looking him in the eyes when you say this.
since flying now is the modern equivalent of taking the greyhound bus (just look at your picture) there's not one damn thing you can do that's not more annoying than something someone else is doing already
Press the flight attendant button every 15 minuets for something petty.
Make constant comments about how the plane may have minor mechanical errors. Question little bumps, out loud.
Go to the bathroom every 20 minuets, and struggle to open the door like you don't realize it's occupied if someones in it.
Spill your drink, dramatically.
Yeye, sure is a nice view though guys
I call bullshit in this thread, you can't use internet while the plane is flying.
Fuck you and your Rachel
Get up,walk around greeting everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you admiral
Roll trips and I'll pull the life vest out
With no survivors!
>1. Acquire laptop
>2. Make sure your neighbour can see what's on your screen
>3. Make a fucking serious face and look up
>4. Whisper "Allahu akbar" loud enough that your neighbour can hear it
>5. Open http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf
But it depends, Euro companies aren't as bad as american ones. Went to Paris with Air France a couple of time and it wasn't that bad. Alcohol is free and unlimited even in coach.
>get out of seat
>walk into aisle
>take off pants
>spread your ass cheeks
>take a huge shit
1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim you are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe you but DONT give up, see how far you can get ( WARNING, may result in you being arrested)
2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"
3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when you are the only one laughing.
4. when the plane is still on the ground, Rock back and forth in your seat and say aloud "THIS TURBULANCE SURE IS ROUGH!!"
5. Wear rags and a headscarf, claim that your name is Svetolafoson Frojhkyhkjuhjdj and that you are being deported back to Estonia, look pleased when your told that this plane is not going there. say "Really?!, u haf not met me if zey ask zen, ok?!"
6. As the plane is landing, adopt the 'Duck and Cover' position as you scream "WE ARE GOING TO CRASH! ONLY DEATH AWAITS US ALL NOW! DEATH I TELLS YA!!!!" when you land safely, stand up and leave the plane normally, thank the stewardess for a lovely flight.
7. Go in to the toilet and make loud vomiting noises, keep going for a few minutes, then come out and announce to the plane that the toilet is blocked, act like its not your fault.
8. Stand up and ask the passengers if anyone " wants to join the mile high club with you?" wink suggestively at various people...of both sexes.
9. Get the pilot to show you round the cockpit, come out afterwards and say "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGH HE COULD FLY THE PLANE AFTER SO MUCH VODKA BUT IT JUST SHOWS, THEY REALLY ARE TRUE PROFESIONALS!".
10. Delight your fellow passengers with your impression of a plane crashing in to the sea, complete with sound effects.
11. Enthrall your companions on the plane by telling them that you knew the pilot of Buddy Holly's plane and you're pretty sure he trained at the same place as your current pilot.
12. Give a fact filled guide of the area you are flying over, this can include " And if you look to your right you will see the wreckage of our sister plane, after she was shot at and subsequently crashed in to that mountain side which, as you can see, her burnt out hull remains embedded in, the bodies were never found.'
14. Occasionally scream........loudly.
15. Get up and announce that you are going to hi-jack the plane, make to get out a gun, but act like its not there, check all your pockets and then say " OH CRAP, I MUST HAVE LEFT IT IN THE OTHER COAT, OK, NEVER MIND!" Sit down like nothing has happened.
16. From the second you take off, every ten seconds say in the same voice "are we there yet?"
17. Keep sniffing around and eventually say in a loud voice "CAN YOU SMELL BURNING?"
18. Go to the cockpit, wait a few second, then come back and say in a loud voice, "UMM SHOULD'NT THERE BE...LIKE....A PILOT?"
19. When your on a small, ten person plane, Inform everyone that you used to be an aerodynamic engineer and this plane is VERY badly built.
20. As you get of the plane, look worried and announce loudly" VAIT A MINUTE, VOT IZ ZIS PLACE?! ZIS IZ NOT POLAND, VERE ZE HELL IZ ZIS?!?!?!?"
21. If you're flying first class, make sure to sit behind someone. When that person is sleeping, grap your motion sickness bag and vomit in it. After you do that, hold the bag in the air and then pop it on the person. See what happens......
Come on man, stop making fun of my country. We like to show our gratitude through clapping. Movies, planes, amusement park rides, flash mobs, public proposals, returning war vets, anything that makes us feel happy in this miserable country.
Suddenly your plane crashes and you are now LOST. Btw use the white coal left from fires to brush your teeth together with a piece of wood. Maybe you can also find mince, that helps aswell.
Mastrubate on a plane duh it's the only thing worth doing how many people can say they mastrabated in the air c'mon dude !
when the nigger in front of you is sleeping just wisper hey nigglet n act like your sleeping or kick his chair with yr knees
Yell i've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane they wil all laugh trust me i do this all the time
10/10 for effort
7/10 for content
Needs more subtle odd insanity, like talking to your hand luggage, eating/obtaining as many packs of peanuts as possible, trying to hide under the seats, introducing yourself to the person next to you every five minutes
>being this edgelord
>demand everyone's attention
>explain your name is Special Agent Jones sent by Washington
>your looking for your little angel
>yell SHE'S DEAD! THEY'VE KILLED HER
>giving other sandniggers a bad name
I avoid them like the plague.
>flying back from Calgary to Montréal
>afternoon meeting cancelled
>head office wants me back sooner
>buy a WestJet ticket
>that thing only has coach
>full of fat, canadian tourists
>only business traveler on the plane
>can't even get proper service in french.
Worst part is, I speak an excellent english, I just refuse to speak it when dealing with service-people.
For her defense, the flight attendant was almost cute for a prairie girl. Got her number and almost thought of fucking her on my last trip to Calgary but her voice was a real turn-off. Why does every english-canadian girl has to speak with her nose ?
op is fag, op wont do shit, pussy ass op cant take the heat.
Where you left and where you are going are both shit.
They once tried to get me to DC with a flight to Baltimore. I yelled at the secretary who made the mistake at the airport and bought a ticket to Reagan Airport instead.
Not gonna waste my time trying to explain stuff in ebonics to the niggers at the counter in Baltimore