>Day before yesterday
>Fucking cool mexican stoner friend and her roommate want to hang out
>Both girls fat, 3 and a 1. Stoner, we'll call her A, is fat, and her roommate, B is fucking obese
>B drunk as fuck, they can't drive
>Car is a 2-seater, pick them up and stuff B in the trunk, it's a hatchback though so this is easy
>Drive to my house
>Fukken Heavy Metal Fuck Year.jpg
>B starts diddling her clit
>Drive over rocky road
>B is moaning like a buffalo
>This is less sexy than a real buffalo
>A is laughing
>B immediately passes out on my bed
>A helps set up my vaporizer
>Watch troma films
>Fukken Nuke Em' High
>Ask to cuddle
>Ok this worked
>Start fondling her boob, I don't really give a fuck
>She's at least kinda into it and I'm too fucked up to rationalize stopping this and trying to bang someone hotter
>Starts rubbing my cock through my pants
>Undoes my zipper and gets my pants down, and she starts jerking me off through my boxers
>Never had this before
>Kind of like it
>Diddling her nipples and spanking her
>She's rubbing my balls
>Head of my dick pops out of my boxers
>A grabs hard
>B wasn't actually passed out
>Fall backwards on edge of couch
>This is a surprising sensation and A's hand pumps me a few times and I end up doing what looks like a cumshot and that bullet time dodging motion from the matrix
>Didn't jerk for like a week
>ARCS OF SLOPPY JIZZ, GOING IN ALL DIRECTIONS, CLINGING TO ANY AND ALL SURFACES
>Haven't talked to A or B about it since
Tried uploading this 3 times, let's see if it works yet.
i confronted an edgy girl on my fb about her attention whoring, cringey comments happened trying to defend her.
Thar' she blows!
Dear mother of hod! IT'S ENOURMOUS!
Man the harpooons!
now imagine the horror that this man's life must be, assuming he is even a real person and not some imaginary friend.
he cheated on his girl and is hoping to get away with it, and it all depends on this moonbat keeping her trap shut.
Feel free to make fun of me, but wasn't monogomy originaly there to keep the men from sleeping around?
one of the weirdest things I've had the displeasure of reading
Well technically the hexagram has been used in occultism far longer than in Judaism which adopted later on.
THIS is the unwanted mutant offspring of salad fingers and MLP.
I wanted to say that, too. But was busy drawing and shit.
"Your right to breed has been r-r-r-r-r-r-revoked!"
Wrong pictures, I wanted to post the king of insurance
Oh god, newfags like this makes my night.
For many decades, the precise taxonomic classification of the giant panda was under debate because it shares characteristics with both bears and raccoons. However, molecular studies suggest the giant panda is a true bear and part of the Ursidae family, though it differentiated early in history from the main ursine stock. The giant panda's closest extant relative is the spectacled bear of South America. The giant panda has been referred to as a living fossil.
"Scientists have used DNA to find out that the giant panda is more closely related to the other bears than to the raccoons.
Giant pandas are in the family Ursidae with the seven other bear species. Raccoons are in the family Procyonidae, along with ring-tails and coatis. The bear family and raccoon family are closely related."
Dude, I've been here since Wednesday, I know what the fuck I'm doing.??I bet you can't even triforce
the last big thing that happened on /b/ (pic related)
yknow how sometimes people's fetishes are determined by weird shit that happened to them early in life that they can't remember? what if the guy drawing these comics was visited as a really small child by scary aliens with really long creepy hands, and they molested him. and did something to him involving crystals. or it could be a ghost or a demon, anything that uses crystals and has big hands. now he can't get it out of his head and the people around him just view him as your run-of-the-mill aspie, and that's probably a big part of it too, but the hands and crystals are what he can't get out of his head. he thinks about them all the time, long spindly fingers touching him, and he can't help getting aroused. you know what i'm sayin?
No, THIS Panda really needs to take off
YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT NIGGER?!
-A FUCKING DISTRAUGHT PANDA
Yes, if you look down and say "yeah this baby has a dick" you are going to permanently traumatize it for life.
i think his dA page says something about him having marfan's syndrome, which includes large spindly hands among other symptoms, so he probably developed this as a weird coping mechanism.
Check out this Beta Male
Photo not related
Should have been this
I always think its really sad. maybe I'm just turning into a femanon, but I always imagine some little kid dieing of terminal cancer with an iv and a breathing mask just waisting away. his parents or a doctor told him that it was magic crystals or he just thought it up. but laying there waisting away would make his hand look like it was growing. I don't know. these pictures are just hard on me
I'm sorry to hear that /b/ro. hope you get better soon. idk what we would do without a seasoned poster. I litterally tear up when I see these pictures. eithor way this guy is sick one way or the other
what's cringe about scottish wrestling? i bet it gets rowdy as fuck after they've all had a gallon of bucky and a couple of lines each.
grado 4 life
inncedentally i wish them luck in gaining independence in september
My cringe story from Monday.
>met a cute boy on Saturday
>gave him my number
>we agree to hook up Sunday night
>never had a dick in my ass before but I've always wanted to
>that topic comes up in our texts
>he says he's always wanted to do anal too
>decide fuck it, this might be the right time
>go out Sunday evening and buy an enema kit
>never done this before
>do it twice to try and make sure I'm clean inside
>honestly feel empty inside, kind of uncomfortable but nothing too bad
>but then I put my butt plug in and played with myself up until it was time for him to come over
>by that time I feel super raw and my ass is sore, too much going in and out of it in such a short amount of time
>we hook up in my car
>in the middle of fucking me from behind he pulls my plug out and throws it on the floor
>think nothing of it
>the next day when I go out to get it I see that its dirty
>not horribly so but certainly enough to notice
>embarrassment of a thousand suns
>he never said anything about it but I'm sure he saw it
How fucked am I, /b/? Do you think we'll hook up again? Also, goddamn, still haven't had a dick in my ass even after all that.
this is fucking genius. do you know how many people would pay that much for shit like this? i can easily buy those masks for a couple bucks each somewhere and paint them like that and then sell em for $55 or some crap. so many autistic faggots would buy that shit
I hope he thinks about it the same way as you, we haven't talked since then which is fine because both of us agreed we didn't want anything serious but his silence is scaring me all the same. I really should have cleaned myself out better - but hey, now I know right?
Some OC for this thread...
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Koala bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Panda division, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Koala, and I have over 300 confirmed mauls. I am trained in bear warfare, from panda to gorilla and I’m the top bamboo spearman in the entire Asian armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this forest, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of pandas across the forest and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, koala. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you koalafy as life. You’re fucking dead, joey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bear hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire forest of freshly sharpened bamboo stalks and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit eucalyptus all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, joey.
Roddan Roxx is here!!
This is a swedish teacher that made a music video with two female students from his class.
The girls are under 18..