YLYL? Text-Based edition
Only ones you've lost to. Take it into account I'm ridiculously stoned so any contributions would be great.
Dude you should have started with this and built up to the good stuff.
obviously wrong image i posted there...
i got plenty bro dont worry just trying to remember the good ones
>get off work and go with friend to some girl's house.
>opportunity to fuck sea cow rises.
>iffy, but friend convinces me because he wants to fuck the actual attractive girl.
>take one for the team and get this shit out of the way.
>girl mostly takes control of the situation.
>fuck for long time, girl gets off well.
>can't get off because chronic masterbation and relative lack of interest.
>can't go anymore, make whale get on top.
>she flops around on top of me for maybe 10 minutes.
>realize I'm not going to get off, decide to call it quits.
>have a college course the next morning, gotta go.
>convince whale I'm ashamed of fucking I have to leave.
>she comes in for a hug/kiss.
>I shake her hand.
>I shook her hand.
>I fucking shook her hand.
I laugh at it now, but it still hurts.
6/6 I'm too tired & sleepy to go through my archives.
anyone else lurking besides the what feels like 4 of us posting
I actually wrote that one, so proud its still going around. Have a Jabba
Just seems like us. Let's just turn it into a "laugh" thread.
Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet.
Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag?
Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.
I dont want to read this story....
but im still going to fucking do it
first good YLYL thread i've seen in months
thank you bros
Fairly big dump commencing
I don't usually contribute to YLYL threads but this is the best one in a long time
>>helpful as a magikarp splash attack
Now for some britcest and then I'm out, can't find the folder anywhere
She was a whale, you did the right thing.
They are actually terrorists.
It reminds me of this one time in high school.
>School douche throws rock at a seagull
>In the next 5 minutes every seagull in the city shows up
>Like holy shit the sky was actually going dark from how many seagulls there were
>People were running into classrooms and hiding
>They're circling the body in the middle of the field
>There is literally an eye of the storm of seagulls and they're all going in a perfect circle around the body
>Principal picks up the dead seagull and takes it to the staff room (why I know not)
>Circle around the body follows him the whole way
>Him and everyone around him are literally getting covered in seagull shit, he had to go home and get changed
>The dead seagull goes inside and all the seagulls leave
>No one ever fucks with any birds again
I seriously think we killed their leader or something.
It went from the usual 50 seagulls hanging around school to 500+ circling in under 5 minutes.
Felt like the world was ending or something
Most people just don't care, I didn't used to either really.
I think most animals are a lot smarter than what we give them credit for, just because we can't understand their communication with each other.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.