What is some dumb shit you've done when stoned/drunk?
>high as shit
>try to make a pudding because munchies
>can't read the instructions because out of it
>put whole can in microwave
>sparks and shit
>Got high as fuck
>Rolling a joint to continue the blaze
>Spend the next hour looking for my joint
>mfw behind my ear the whole time
be high as shit and try to make a sandwich but forget bread so all i have is ham n cheese on a plate , didn't really realize it until to late , said fuck it and ate it any way
>Buy weed and get baked
>Put weed into cigarette pack with last smoke
>Driving home light up last smoke
>Throw empty cigarette pack out of the car window
weird b/c just happened
>want to cook chicken
>prepare chicken and oven
>come back 45 mins later
>chicken not even in oven, fuck. mfw
>Start smoking weed, too
>Get fucked up
>All my friends fall asleep
>Decide to visit nearby brothel
>Go in, organise to fuck whore, etc
>Go into room with whore
>Lots of sucking and fucking going on. But I can't cum because fucked up and wearing condom.
>MFW for the most part it was a pretty big waste of money
>high as space ships
>try to make a corn dog
>fuck yeah corn dog
>hot as shit
>I dont give a fuck
>take a bite
>spit it out because that shit was hot
>go to get a drink of tea
>spill that shit all over my shirt
That was my first time getting high and I was a bit drunk at the time
i remember when i had my first beer
>sat on a field cause stuff
>searingly hot day
>high as fuck
>between me and my mate we have a 5 litre jug of water
>need a drink
>decide to fill my bottle up instead of just drinking it cause weed
>bottleneck is the length of ones thumbnail
>5 litre jug is heavy
>two fully grown guys
>prestine hand eye coordination
>constant team work
>half hour later and the bottle is half full
>drink from jug
>Smoke fat joint after school
>drive motorcycle to supermarket
>Sheet im stoned as fuck
>supermarket is fucking busy feel uncofortable and get this weird paranoid dumb stoned.
>lose my helmet.
>stand around at the register looking for my helmet for atleast 5 minutes
>see a friend walking
>Shout bro have you seen my helmet
>Dude,, its in your hands.
>stare at hands, cant see it wut.jpg
>stop fucking around bro give me my helmet
>Its hanging on your fucking arm man.
>Look at my arm, helmet is hanging there
>turn and run out of the store left all the shit i bought.
>Get baked as fuck with bros
>Head home late as fuck (still live with parents at the time)
>Try to sneak in my house, climb tree outside my window
>Branch breaks, I fall a good 6-7 feet to the ground
>Fuck that, open front door, sneak upstairs to my room
>Next morning "anon, did you see what happened to the tree?"
>everything went better than expected
Backstory: in 2012, my girlfriend was EXTREMELY anti-weed, I mean hardcore. She had no idea I smoked and I intended to keep it that way. We both lived alone in our own apartment (not in the same complex; it was about a 15 minute drive from one another).
One day in particular, she had went out of town to visit relatives and I had the day off. I was hanging out with a newly-wed friend of mine and he went on about how his wife was forcing him to quit weed for the sake of their newborn baby. Handed me a free mason jar of very high-quality bud, a few lighters, a grinder, and a few generic throwaway pipes. Friend runs into the restroom.
I smoked several bowls out my new bong, progressively getting higher and higher. I genuinely had never been that high in my life. I'm talking minor open-eye visuals and such. It took me about 5 minutes to put everything away and lay down.
My girlfriend walks in completely out of the blue. Imagine this: I'm laying down, my eyes are blood-shot, the whole fuckin' apartment smells like weed and I can barely speak coherently.
After trying my DAMNDEST to be sober, I tried to convince my girlfriend that I was extremely sick and that the smell was a problem with the apartment's air vents.
She bought it.
...until my friend walked out of the bathroom while loudly asking "how high are you?"
Yeah, I forgot my friend was still over.
Luckily she didn't get too mad. She asked why I hid it from her, and how long it was going on, and then accepted it. "Obviously it's not affecting your life if I've been oblivious to your usage."
>Weed vet by this time
>Buddy was new, thought he could hang
>Stole some weed from a kid who was selling
>Walked off and he didn't do shit after threatening him
>It was mids
>Doesn't matter got high
>foil pipe cause no head shop
>living with dad
>can't hide pipes and shit
>holy fuck I'm hungered
>he agrees since I have cash
>lady behind counter looks at him
"Sir what would you like as break?
"No sir, as bread
>ohhh. Uhhh... Pepper jack is fine
>bread anon, he'll have herbs and cheese
Had to order for him. Shit was hilarious
>blazing with my bros
>decide its time to clean the bong and get some food ready
>me and Friend try to cook some fuckin noodles while other one is cleaning the bong
>me and bro focusing the fuckin noodles
>suddenly hear a loud noise
>turn around, bong bro just collapsed on the floor
>blood from his head fuckin everywere.
>Me and Bro panic
>thank god the bong is still allright.
>leave room with bong and smoke some more.
got back 30 mins later to get noodles, tasted heavenly.
>smoke for two hours straight
>hanging with some friends and other randoms
>in some whale's dorm
>high as shit, lay down
>everyone is gone
>fatty starts kissing me
>fatty takes off my clothes
>too high, idgaf
>she tries to fuck me
>condom too small
>sucks my dick
>falls asleep next to me
>traps me on the wall
>want to leave, can't
>wait 5 hours
>she gets up for bathroom
>throw on clothes, leave
>First time taking acid
>Gf wants to drive 30mins away to a massive mall so she can get makeup
>Fuck it, whatever
>We arrive at the mall, dont really feel much. I dont feel normal, but I'm not tripping either
>Get to makeup store when it hits me hard.
>Colors everywhere, everything is kind of blurry, objects appear to be breathing and shit
>Tripping the fuck out, gf thinks its hilarious
>Takes me by this kiosk with light up balls of all kinds of colors
>Drive back home, sitting on couch
>Gf is most beautiful girl i'd ever seen in my life, start telling her this and random other shit
>End up in the bed sweat and cum errywhere
>Laid in bed for 8 hours untill I can finally fall asleep (didnt have any bud on me at the time)
thats how i used to be, but then i got a good job (btw i was like 17) so i could afford to do it more. it just kinda turned into an every day thing... but i took like a month and a half break and i just started again about 2 weeks ago.
>pic related, me right now.
>smoke with friend
>he wants to boil the water to prepare some food
>after about 2 minutes he shouts that my electric kettle isnt working
>"how could you possible fail to boil a water"
>get into kitchen
>mfw hes holding an iron
probably after a motorcycle accident rehab on my right leg
doctor said dont smoke weed or u ll end up in a wheel chair (in medical words)
obviously didn t pay attention blaze it 24/7 all time like before the accident
now i am in a wheel chair 4 life because I got high still blazing
>smoke a lot
>at taco bell
>my friend orders a taco 12 pack and a meal
>I was about to order a meal
>think, is that enough food?
>high mind says no
>pick up tray covered in tacos with friend
>tons of kids around
>eat too much
>out by gas station
>don't want last taco
>car looks hungry
>feed car by leaving the taco on its hood
>how could you possibly fail to boil a water
>boil a water
Yeah I was like that years ago. I used to have an okay paying job and fuck all expenses. So nearly all my money went to weed, alcohol and vidya. In pretty much that order. But I built up too much of a tolerance from doing it all the time and had to smoke a heap to get as high as I used to. I also found taking a long break helped me.
>be at my friends house with two other friends
>we were smoking some very heavy shit, all stoned as fuck
>one of my friends, whom we call the nigger, gets up to make some fucking chicken wings or some shit
>he's gone for 20 minutes, i go look for him only to find him on the shitter with his pants down
>eating a fucking twinkie while shitting out massive loads of diarrhea
>laugh my ass off, hes furious at this point
>then I smell it, dat smelly smell that smells
>i go to the kitchen, open the oven and there they are
>grab the wings and run up to the niggers room
>he comes in 10 minutes later claiming he's hungry again
>eat almost 4kgs of chickenwings and then played mario kart until 4:20
>best evening ever
>drinking a lot of screwdrivers
>buddy comes over with weed, so we smoke
>black out for a couple hours
>come back to reality
>everyone wants to go to Burger King
>someone orders onion rings
>the smell is the worst thing I have ever smelled
>fail to open door or roll down window of car and puke all over the fucking place
All of my this. This makes weed fun. I understand wanting to forget about our shitty lives for a night or weekend. But if you're doing it everyday? Fuck man. It ruins the experience. I couldn't stand it if my highs were mediocre or anything less than they are now. I've also found WHO you smoke with can ruin am experience. I'm silly retarded when I'm stoned and I'll pretty much just blaze with my brother who loves it and thinks I'm a goddamn comedian. I have a friend I've known for a while who I have to maintain around cause he gives me weird looks and gets all judgy cause I don't have a hardcore tolerance. I think he envies how high I can get compared to him. I dunno what his issue is...
Anybody else get extremely horny when you're stoned and have to sneak away to fap? Fuckin nutting while high is 10x more intense. Holy fuck. Ain't been laid high yet but when I watch porn extremely high it's almost like you can watch to people's souls connect when they're fucking.
>be 18 and high school
> aaprilia sxv 550
>drive to dealer
>hooks my up with some weed and molly for candyflip later that day
>broke ass nigger dealer have no change
>let him dit on back even though no passenger pegs
< nigger is a squid with flip flops
> decide to fuck with him
> out of corner full throttle wheelie accelerating past 70mph downtown Oslo
> offenses: dui, speeding, reckless, 49 grams of egens in my pocket
> stop bike, tell dealer to run
..... >> ditched nigger, ran away from cops
> nigger was caught
> still got 100$ worth of change following week
>I think he envies how high I can get compared to him. I dunno what his issue is...
Probably. I know that I'm jealous of my friends that can get much higher than I can with less weed. Elitism is just faggotry disguised as experience.
I get ridiculously high. Ate a pot brownie once and got so high I just about lost my shit. I tripped so hard everything looked stop-motion. I guess it's known as "framing". Freaked me out. Almost called an ambulance cause I thought I was going to think myself to death by thinking my heart beat slower til it stopped. I just went to bed. Slept it off.
>ripping bong in my room for 30 mins
>go to kitchen
>feel chest pains
>I am definitely having a heart attack
>stare into fridge for 30 mins while assessing how i have spent my life
>need to sleep
>get on the floor…
>sleep on floor in front of fridge
>Party all night
>Get off bus despite it being the last bus and I lived far
>Go in and order angus with cheese and large fries
>I never eat fast food I didnt even know what it would taste like
>Just saw it on the menu and was like fuck it
>"Can I get some mustard on that too?"
>"Like a shit ton man. Like a novelty amount. Stop spraying mustard when its funny. Stop when you laugh"
>eat food in restaurant
>Go back to counter once Im done
>Ill have the exact same thing again please mate
>Mcdonalds dude looks at me funny
>"Man what the fuck are you smoking"
>Look at him blankly
>Tripping on THC
Oh man I miss those days. There used to be this shitty TV show here called the Up Late Game Show. Basically the show consisted of this idiot asking easy questions so that more people would ring up to answer them while paying a premium rate for the phone call. It was a stupid show, but there was always these bright, multi-coloured graphics behind the show's host. When I could still trip a tiny bit from weed I used to watch that show, then let the colours and the guy's face warp around. It was great.
>playing world of tanks
>waiting for LSD to kick in
>suddenly become entranced by the synchronised waving of all the trees and bushes
>high as a kite on lsd
>trying to walk to the kitchen
>the kitchen is fucking gone
>literally its a black hole
>shooting stars and shit
>when i finally come down, i realize in my the bathroom with the light off
>Get ready to go out and meet some friends at student union
>Running late so can't make it to pre drinks with them, start drinking by myself
>go into housemates room, he smoking
>asks me if I want some
>sure, I've drunk then smoked before going out in the past
>feel tired as fuck, cba to do anything (didn't get much sleep the night before iirc)
>stand outside in the rain for what seemed like ages in attempt to try and liven up
>housemate calling me, "what are you doing downstairs?"
>play it off
>go to bed
>wake up, messages and calls from friends I was supposed to go out with
>out with good friend before going back to uni
>had a lot to drink
>wake up in the morning on his floor with dirty as fuck socks and a big gash down my arm
>ask him what happened
>he says he slipped me a molly in a drink he bought me
>apparently was dancing in the club with my shoes off
>kept shouting "popped a molly I'm sweating, woo!"
>punched cash machine because it took time giving me cash
>we were talking to a bouncer who we know who is also a bodybuilder, apprently I was doing bodybuilding poses to him
>got the cut on my arm by falling down the stairs on the way out
Spent two hours devising a plan to change the world to "Police World" where everyone has the rank of a policeman, my logic being that nobody would commit crimes and if they did, anyone could arrest them
> two bowls of platinum kush
> six bud lights
> two Miller lights
> convinced self that I was an ogre
> ate cereal without hands
> got pissed off
> punched hole in wall
> got in a fight
> mom got scared
> moved in with auntie and uncle in bel-air
> it's all ogre now though
Got another one.
>Go to prom with good female friend of mine
>Im skinny and look a bit like robert plant.
>Just to paint a picture
>Anyway after prom we become close
>Meet her parents
>Were seen as a couple
>Are running joke together is we just make puns and highfive
>Meet her parents
>Her italian mum asks if I want anyfood
>"Nah I just went to subway so I just had a 12 inch"
>Oh okay. What about you anonette do you want food before you go out
>I cut in
>"Shes good I have a 12 inch for her too"
>Realise this is not okay to say to her mum.
>Girlfriend doesnt accept my highfive
>Sort of worth it
Did you write any of the shit down? One time I woke up to find that after drinking and smoking I'd drawn a super hero called nigger man, the picture was scary as fuck looking so I never told anybody about it, just screwed it up asap
>at my house getting high as shit
>walk to mcdonalds
>wearing cargo shorts
>order food, sound like an idiot because im high
>start looking for wallet
>can't find it
>"fuck i forgot my wallet"
>walk back home
>my wallet was in my back pocket
Learning you don't fucking bake the pizza with the plastic film
>be around 17
>one of the first times smoking
>smoke 5-6 joints between 5-6 people
>2 friends and I in friends kitchen scrounging for food
>we all start whispering nonsense to eachother
>somehow we know what each of us is saying
>do so for 5 or so minutes
>finally snap out of it
>realize none of us are really saying anything coherent at all
>burst out laughing
>tears streaming down our faces
Fuck man I miss when getting stoned was the funnest fucking thing you could do. Now I just get tired a lazy as shit.
>Get High for the first time
>Porn becomes super powerful
4 months of smoking constantly
>Wearing sisters panties and skirt
>Masturbating to BLACK COCK
>Cucomber up my ass
>Taped 3 condoms filled with my sperm to my face, one condom filled with sperm in my mouth
>Bite down on condom 1 second before cumming to "Emperor Hypnos - Black Cock Slut Trainer"
>Find out i forgot to lock my door and anyone could basicly have seen me doing all that stuff
It was fine though, house was mine for hours after
Never gonna smoke weed again
>Friend comes over.
>Brings some kind of entheogen with him. I think it was morning glory seeds.
>Pull a few bongs.
>Crush seeds with mortar and pestle.
>Stir them through some boiling water.
>Let it sit for a couple of minutes.
>Strain it, then drink it.
>Few more bongs.
>About half an hour later, I start to feel even higher from the seeds taking effect. An hour in and I'm incredibly high. I'm talking smoking a shitload of weed for the first time high.
>Oh wow, haven't felt this good on weed in years.
>Keeps coming on stronger and stronger.
>Suddenly feel like I'm greening out, but even worse. Sensory overload, etc.
>Mind starts playing tricks on me.
>Starts making me think that my heart rate is slowing down.
>Start to feel tired.
>Everytime I get close to dozing off, I start thinking that if I fall asleep, my heart will stop.
>Keep myself awake for hours while I wait for it to wear off.
>Never did it again.
When I still lived with my parents and secretly smoked in my old room I had to go to the bathroom real carefully. My room was in the attic so had to go down a flight of stairs.
This one time I was so stoned I actually fell asleep while walking back up the stairs and fell down. My parents and siblings had heard me and all came out of their rooms and I had no idea what happened because of the sleeping.
Mcdonalds guy again
>Get high and try to take out money from bank machine
>Go buy snacks and weed with money
>Forgot to get bank card out of machine once I withdrew cash
>Go to bank next day to get a new one high with my girlfriend from last story
>They cant find my account
>Wut. But my money
>Girl shrugs it off and giggles making comments on how it really bugs her to not be able to find my 2000+ in my bank
>Turns out she couldnt find it because the bank spelled my last name incorrectly in their system
>Still high and pissed
>"wow thats really unprofessional. I gave you my name and you just misspell it"
>"What are you people high?!"
>That was my ending comment
>Go smoke weed after getting a enw bank card
Last one because Im at work and my shifts nearly done.
>Go to toronto with girlfriend to get prom dress for her
>Dress shopping sucks dick
>Go into a music store
>Buy 800 dollar bass
>I have about 800 bucks left in bank at this point
>Through out the next month blow remaining 800 on subs and weed
>10 dollars to my name
>Spend that 10 on a gram
>High with no cash to get subs
>Realize I spent 1600 dollars on a bass, subs and weed.
>Be a few years ago.
>Be having a few beers and a few cones with my family one night.
>Everyone goes to bed eventually.
>Beer is still working its magic on me, have to get up to take a piss.
>Walk past my brother's room.
>Fucking idiot is sitting there fapping to pictures of naked women with the door open.
>MFW he was too stoned to remember to shut a fucking door.
Still not as bad as the time I caught him doing the same thing when he was completely sober.
>decide its time to go get some job applications
>decide it would be a good idea to do a dab before i go
>Get to video store
> Can't find the applications
>Ask employee where they are, he points to where they are at.
>Still can't find them, holy fuck I'm high
>loop around the aisles
>leave without an application
>get off my chops drunk
>somehow ends up with peanuts in my drink along with 2 other peoples alcohol
>get more people to pour their grog into my cup
>put more peanuts and chips and i have no fucking idea what else in it
>start headbutting garage doors because people told me it was a good idea and I agreed it was
>hour later headache starts to kick in form headbutting
I think my drink was half full of party food and atleast 10 different drinks mixed in, I honestly don't even remember how it even started.
>decide to be creative
>get half way through
>love it so far but fuck it
>take "Feels So Good" by Chuck Mangione
>slow down and pitch down
>save that by mistake
>upload that to soundcloud instead of my song
fuck you just reminded me
>first time on LSD
>nothing seems to be working
>start thinking of traps and what little pics I've seen scrolling past the threads
>convince myself I'm never going to live it down
>imagine myself as a homeless cockslut 10 years from now
There's really not much to say.
>Be sitting in my room one day.
>I think I had to ask my brother a question or some shit.
>Walk to his room.
>Door is open; must be all clear.
>Me: Hey Anon do youWOAAAAAH what the fuck?!
>He's connected his PC to the HDMI port on his TV and is fapping to porn with the door open... Again.
>Him: Um... Sorry. I... Um...
>Me: Yeah whatever, I'll come back later.
>He comes into my room a little bit later.
>Him: Sorry about that. I just-
>Me: Just stop. Can we please not talk about what just happened?
It's funny, though. Because normally he's quite quick-witted and knows just what to say. But everytime I happen on him doing something weird he completely loses his composure and can't say shit. Every so often he does weird shit like that. One time he was fucked up and propositioned me, another time I caught him fapping in my room. Honestly, I really don't like him, sometimes.
>MFW he does this shit
>be high as al qaeda on 9/11be with friends
>eat 6 pop tarts two cans of spaghetti osand 4 hot pockets
>go to bed
>wake up at 3am really bad stomach ache
> need to release the brown dragons
>burnt out as fuck and trying to walk around my sleeping friends
>get out the door and go to my bathroom
>trying to take a shit but hard to concentrate
> still pushing when my friend knocks on bathroom door
>tell him I'm in here but to burnt out to listen and tries to push the door open
>(door has no lock)
>trying to push the door back while on toilet
>he finally realized that I'm in here and walks away
>get out of bathroom and go take medicine for stomach
>hear knock on back door
>I think its my dogs and ignores it and goes up stairs
>open door to room when I catch my friend climbing through my window back in
>mfw he was the one who knocked on the door when he locked himself out
>mfw he shit in my backyard
>Never smoke weed
>Visit buddy in MI
>"Hey anon, ever try dabs"
>Buddy whips out a kit and scrapes me up a fat one, heats It up.
>HIGH AS BALLS
>Buddy drives me home.
>Walk in high as fuck, mom and sis at table.
>Paranoia level set to 11
>mom looks at me "Hi anon, want something to eat"
>Sit at table, waiting for food as sister stares at me.
>"Are you okay anon, you look sick!"
>Mom lays some sammich on a plate in front of me.
>Devour in 10 seconds flat.
>Pours me some Mtn Dew in a cup and puts it in front of me.
>Reach for it.
>Knock it over
>River of mtn dew all over the table and floor.
>Mom and sister staring at me.
>Stand up, walk out of kitchen and upstairs into my room.
>Get some of the best sleep I ever had.
This was literally like my second time getting high ever...period. Second time ever and I was doing fat dabs.
>be me 17
>in my room bored
>decide to smoke
>forgot parents are reading bible verses with members of their church in the living room
>hear someone walking up the stairs
my room is the first door when you get to the top
>get up from bed and run across room
>throw bong into closet without hesitation
luckily the door was locked
>no time to air out room
>it was just my brother
we ended up leaving to go get some brownies from some hippy bitch
mfw it was just my bro
>high off my fucking mind
>playing cod like a true faggot
>fucking cotton mouth
>reach hand to table grab cup without paying attention
>put it to my mouth
>drink that shit
>fucking bong water
I took a drink from my bong like a retard. At least I used koolaid for bong water so it wasnt so bad
>fucking high and also pretty drunk
>remember I had to send out job applications or mom would kill me next day
>have to write 10 applications to various companies
>listening to hip-hop
>glorious idea to make my application with hip-hop words
>bring in stuff like 'bro', 'nigga', 'damn' and 'shit'
>think it needs some tuning
>add some smileys and online language like 'lol', 'xD' and 'YOLO'
>still needs some tuning
>colored font (although I got a bit lazy so I just colored half the text red and the other half yellow)
>think my attached picture looks really boring
>print out picture of a spider that kinda looked cool instead
>too high/drunk to realize I still have to resize the pictures
>print out 10 letter sized pictures of spider on expensive photo paper
>reprint smaller pictures, actually don't fuck that up
>seal the letters, manage to somehow put adresses on it
>oversleep next morning
>see the 10 pictures of spider next to my bed
>suddenly realize wtf I had done yesterday and run downstairs
>mom is yelling at me, telling me how she had to deliver the letters so they would arrive in time
>still had to laugh for the rest of the day
>sadly those didn't get me any interviews
pic related, picture of the spider I printed out
How are you going to fuck your bong up with flavored water lol
It didnt really change it a lot but it had a hint of cool grape. Ice helped the flavor I think. I thought of it when I was high now always do it just cause. I use grape sincemy bong is clear and it doesnt look gross.
this thread is fucking incredible. I can't believe I've been reading this shit for 2 hours now when I have a 250 word essay due tomorrow that I haven't even started. oh well, yolo
>Halloween party with girl and her sis in 2011.
>Say fuck it and take a fuckton of 4mg xanax bars and ambien before i go.
>Get to party, already fucked up because tripping on the ambien.
>Pour entire red solo cup with Jack.
>Try to steal bottle of vodka, its plainly sticking out of my pants.
>Try to fight some biker.
>Hit on girlfriends sister.
>Bunch of men had to restrain me and take me home.
>Wake up next day not knowing any of that because i was completely blacked out.
>Relationship was basically over after that lol.
hue 20 now
I have loads more if anyone is interested.
you sure it was dehydration and not low blood pressure?
it happens sometimes with me when I get high, my doctor told me it's normal tho
you just gotta make sure you dont hit your head ;pppPPppPPPpPP
>higher than the fucking Burj Khalifa
>look my left
>friend sitting there, he's high as well
>look to the right
>I get up
>friend asks me: "Like, what if we didn't have any doors?"
>I stare at him, and I laugh
>I suddenly, with the force of a thousand suns, burst out in anger
>run to the door
>man, that's like, painful and stuff, like what?
pic not related at all
>Sometime after Halloween party story.
>Be super depressed because they put me on Zoloft and had an adverse reaction.
>Get crazy once again because me and my friend kill an entire half gallon each.
>Other friend come over, i try to get drugs from him but he knows i'm too fucked up.
>Flip shit hardcore on him trying to fight him.
>He just leaves, this is also late as hell as night.
>I run after him because he's in car and jump a giant wooden fence.
>Severe sprain on my ankle, nearly broke it, completely purple and like 3x the normal size.
>Run to friends house like that somehow.
>His crazy pill dealer dad pulls shotgun on me.
>Friend calms him down.
>They take me home.
>Once again wake up not knowing any of it because completely blacked out.
Be high and drunk with some homies. Decide to egg a house of a guy we know. Proceed to do so. It's 11:30, We each have three eggs, me and two homies. So we there. Commence attack!!! The guy we know moms is outside and his sister. Doing Indian noises, while we bombard them with eggs. Shits funny. The guy we know never confronted to me about it.
I have another
>have small get together like every day
>all high as fuck
>stoned guy branden comes up with an idea
>"dude brand me"
>"no faggot im not gay"
>good guy wilbur agrees too
>not so good anymore
>he lights a lighter
>holds the flame for ten minutes
>presses it above brandons ass crack
>forever marked with a lighter burn trampstamp
He was a fucking faggot lol
>high as shit
>been smoking all night
>hungry as fuck
>decide to have pizza
>put pizza in oven
>come back to check it 20 mins later
>mfw the oven isn't even on
>smoked a few in her parents garden as they were out
>parents back earlier than expected, fuck
>stayed in garden to chill and avoid, gf's dad comes out shouting 'Dinner's up!' and walks into garden
>gameoverman.flv manual override engaged, autopilot initiated
>gf's dad is strict as fuck, it pissed him off already that i was nobbing his daughter
>sitting at dinner table, winging it
>at start of every meal, gf's dad would fill each of our glasses with water
>he starts intelligent, academic conversation with me directly across the table eye contact etc
>difficultyintensifies.png trying to stay on track with the conversation
>no drink on table for me, interrupt to say i need a drink
>ask if i can have a drink
>he is pissed off, wat the fuk is ur problm m8
>gf is laughing, not cool getmethefuckoutofhere
>all the while it is complete silence
>mfw drink is in my left hand leaning back on chair almost tilting out
>wiggly smirk as i try to refrain from smiling
>all i can think for the rest of the meal is fucksaketwat in my head
>laugh at thinking about thinking about it
>could not wait to get the fuck out of there, one of those moments where everything else that happened after was just another nail in the coffin
>drank a fifth of cheap whiskey
>decide to seduce 0/10 fat bitch
>get horny autist frustration
>initiate backup plan and go streaking
>make it 2 miles find myself in a subdivision
>great idea to start car-hopping
>still naked so i throw everything i acquired into the street
>get into a car and deem it suitable to pass out in
>Wake up to cops knocking on the window
>Oh shit not in my car
>FML i am naked
>family is standing in the driveway in horror
>mfw red dot
not me, but my friend. he's dead now.
>>gf's dad is strict as fuck, it pissed him off already that i was nobbing his daughter
What is with girl's dads and thinking this? What's the point? Are they jealous that they can't fuck their own daughters or something?
Before Halloween party story when me and that girl just started going out.
Same friend i tried to fight from my last story was at my girls house with me.
>Their parents gone.
>Fuckton of liquor in house, in addition to xanax and percs.
>Me and my friend say fuck it and go all out, take a handfull of both pills (bars were 4mg percs were 5's)
>Drink a absolute shit ton.
>Before i can even get out of the door i projectile vomit all over wall, run to bathroom, miss toilet completely.
>Shower, fuck girl while her sister cleans it up.
No lol i grew out of it, i can hold my alcohol and drugs very well now.
I still have a stupid drunken moment like everyone does sometimes though, nothing like my stories though.
One time I got really high and built a hotbox tent in my closet. Complete with a DVD player, lights, black light, and bottled water.
I smoked an eighth with my cat and we watched The 13th Warrior with Antonio Banderas.
How is that dumb shit. That is the coolest thing I have ever heard of. You are a hell of a man doing a hell of a job and I appreciate everything you are doing for /b/. If you will all excuse me I am going to go make a tent.
>be me, 2010 in london
>had to visit my brother for christmas
>he was in Luton, had to get there
>I chose to go by bus and train
>obviously I blazed up before the journey
>and to make sure I'm ready to go downed 7 beers as well
>started walking to train station less than 1 mile away
>had to phone my brother up to guide me to it with google maps
>he told me I phoned him 16 times while getting to the train
>got off at King's Cross, huge fucking train station
>had to find bus now
>see cops standing there, looking at me
>quickly turn away and phone my brother for the 17th time
>asked him if it's okay to ask the cops for direction
>the answer was no
>however being the daredevil I am, I went to them
>asked them where it was and they didn't have a clue
>it sunk in that this wasn't the best idea
>paranoia kicked in
>started running and didn't look back
>got on the bus
>when I arrived my brother told me I stood in the door for 5 minutes and laughed hysterically
>sheeeeiiiiiiiiiiit I've made it
>4 years ago, london
>had rasta roommate
>the type who always wears jamaican shit and pretends to be a nigger
>he would usually get baked every day
>ends up asking us for money for food
>spent it all on weed
>he only has some frozen chicken to eat
>puts it in the oven
We wake up in the morning to a huge fucking smoke, the oven was on the whole night. The chicken was a tiny bit of coal by then.
Most of the time he would just play Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, or watch Dexter and mire the fucking loli Astor from it.
>On a shit relatively small dose of DXM given my heavy use at the time
>with friend who I always trip with
>about an hour after taking all the DXM(300mg)
>this is bunk bro lets get more
>drive to wal mart and I start feeling a little
>get more and take it immediately
>my buddy still doesn't feel it
>fuck it one more time
>go to wal mart
>midway: he feels it heavy as fuck
>got more and got higher
DXM: worth it.
>In the halls of Hotbox
>Where the brave may live... Forever
>hanging at friends house monday night
>we start drinking, get drunk
> smoking weed and drinking beers
> leave fucked up to go bang tranny bootycall I met on craigslist
>drive a town over to her house, whoa im a little too drunk for this shit
>go over to his/her house and we fuck for hours. take a shower with her at 2 am
>leave and stop by Wendys for some food.
>get home and pass out
shit was pretty cash
>high school, freshman year
>inject 3 marijuanas before science class
>watch The Cove
>high as fuck
>reach out to grab dolphins
>5 minutes later, vp calls for me to go to the office
>talk to vp
>literally shitting bricks
>she asks "do you know why you're here?"
>vp, "why then"
>vp, "um okay, so tristan said you pushed him into a wall, is this true?"
>playing with a pen
>vp "I'm not going to suspend you, but this is your final warning"
>reek of weed
>vp, "why did you push tristan the fag into the wall?"
>me "yeah I know right? we're just good friends"
>vp makes a wat face
>"okay, just go back to class"
>me, "yeah thanks and sorry"
>take pen with me, vp doesn't question
This thread is why marihuana should be illegal. Do YOU want your captain flying high when you're 30000 feet in the air, acting like you fools? You should all be lined up and shot. Genetic waste.
0/10 - It's like you're not even trying.
just miserable at the fact some spotty kid is pumping his little girl in ways only he can imagine, i remember once after being late back to the house, he said 'there's no such thing as late, it's a choice' he was always looking for argument. it runs in the family, i found out that her brother was planning to punch me so i would punch him, and get me 'banned' from seeing her. only had to deal with this petty bitter shit for a few months tho
>Bathsalt (MDPV and Mepedrone) and spice is legal in my state.
>Go to school fucking jacked on it.
>Have in school suspension that day.
>Bring bathsalt with me since it's legal, even on school grounds because some stupid legal reason, spice wasn't though.
>Get into class, cool ass black teacher named Ms. Mcfadden.
>Knows all the students gets fucked up when they have to come to ISS.
>Is extremely cool about it, she used to smoke.
>Do a shit ton before class, probably .3 or so.
>Everything is radiating and i'm feeling excited like a fucking autistic kid getting his first piece of ass.
>Cant shut the fuck up, friends also fucked up.
>Talking about stupid shit in the hallways, some staring at us.
>Principal walks up to me and i fucking smile at him.
>Hands shaking uncontrollably.
>He asks me to come with him.
>We go to his office, he searches me.
>Finds spice, i get it confiscated and a 25$ fine.
nah, she cheated on me on holiday and i found out cos i got a hunch and logged into her fb and chatted with a few le sexy bois she had added over there using google translate. shit was vague, i ended up just asking 'remind me what we did ;)' and had a response which translated to something like we share sexykiss. and that was the end of that chapter. maybe tempted to post tits, was a good few years ago now, but always keep tits
>get on the floor…
You missed a perfect opportunity to do make that a walk the dinosaur story. Shame Anon.
said maybe tempted but attached them anyway, yeah they were a family of dickheads, all part of the experience though right
>Finds bathsalt and looks at me, looks at officer.
>Tells me to go wait on bench outside.
>I gigled and was still smiling.
>I sit in the hallway talking to the black janitor about the effects of cosmic rays on humans or some stupid shit.
>Sweating like a goddam pig in August heat.
>Shirt is starting to get soaked.
>Literally like pic above.
>I get called back into office, he tells me he isn't stupid and he knows what it is, and that i'm a disgrace to the school.
>Gives me back my vial with like 2 grams in it.
>I go to the bathroom and do a fatass line with people standing in there staring at me.
>Smile at them and go to ISS room after getting a soda from the machine.
>Get to class Mc Fadden just says "Oh lord here we go."
>She already know what's up.
>Sit at desk scribble stupid shit on the desks, drew a few dicks with really huge veins for lulz.
>Time fucking flies.
>Lunchy Munchy time.
>get drunk and stoned with mates
>decide everyone wants to hear me play guitar
>ask my mate who lives there if he has a guitar
>"yeah someone in the basement man"
>spend 25 minutes digging through basement for guitar
>take it back to the patio, couple of people have gone to bed
>play an e chord
>guitar is completely out of tune
>ask my mate who lives there if he has a tuner
>"maybe somewhere in the basement man"
>spend 45 minutes finding the tuner in the basement
>head back out to patio
>4 people left
>spend 10 minutes tuning said guitar
>make a big announcement for everyone to pay attention
>play an e chord
>play another e chord
>three more e chords
>remember i can't play guitar
>ask guy who lives there where i should put it
>"just back in the basement man"
>high as helium molecules
>go into some phases when high where I just shut out everything and start thinking of shit
>start thinking of movie ideas
>suddenly think"from the people who brought you: The Boy Who Cried Wolf, bring you, The Boy Who LITERALLY Cried Wolf"
>its about a boy who got locked up in a village for spawning demon wolves from his eyes, high as spaceships
>tell my friends
>lol'ed so hard we still laugh about it till today
gotta love weed
>Smoked a fat bowl
>Feeling for an hour
>Everything goes into overdrive
>My body gets numb
>My vision starts to get erratic
>Heart rate goes up a lot
>Start to panic
>Start to think I'm going to die
>Get up to walk it off
>Try to go to my kitchen for some water
>End up walking into a wall
>Continue to try and walk into the wall
>This goes on for awhile
>Eventually give up and fall over
>Lay on the floor
>Wake up with cat shit on my head
I was obviously missing some pieces and I really think the shit I smoked was laced.
>Get in lunchroom, i am so fucking ripped at this point if a fly landed on my dick my testicles would expand like the big bang.
>Mouth breathing, not joking.
>Lunch ladies just stop what they're doing and look at me besides fatass Hispanic one.
>Look at Mc Fadden, she just started to laugh.
>Lunch ladies start to laugh.
>I bust out laughing like a fucking hyena eating a tickle flavored sandwich.
>Eat cookie and point out the people who made our school mascot ran statue put a dick on it.
>Lunch ladies and ISS stupid lose their shit.
>I lose my shit.
>I mean really lose my shit.
>Go to bathroom, do about .2 more.
>Come out she knows what i did, still had a tiny bit on my nose.
>She just giggles and does a brushing motion with her hand over her nose.
>Go back to class she advises me not to do anymore for now.
>Principal comes in and i start laughing because he's fat ass shit and has Joe Swansons body type but much fatter.
I was drunk as fuck at this place I'd never been to. It was getting late and crowded so I decided to bail. But first I had to take a monster pies.
I found myself in an empty hall with several doors.
First door was locked.
Second door was locked. This one turned out to be the bathroom. It didn't even occur to me that a bathroom door might be locked for any reason.
Third door was unlocked. Huzzah! I just found the basement. Only problem was I stepped into the dark room expecting solid bathroom floor and instead discovered 15 wooden steps to solid concrete.
25 stitches and staples to my forehead and I've now got a kind of 007 bond villain scar.
The best part? I did NOT piss myself.
>got blackout drunk with friends
> Try to find MsPaint to do something
> Laptop goes flying at the wall when I could not find it
>Run outside pissed and start jumping on cars
>Friends pin me to the ground
>someone called the cops
>Cops arrive I chill the fuck out
>Friends tell cops what happened
>They Laugh but still take me to drunk tank
>On the way there cops turn on Metallica
>Now Singing Seek and Destroy with Cops
>Get to drunk tank and think its prison
>Start doing pushups so I can beat up the biggest guy there
>say fuck it and pass out
>wake up in the morning and let out
>drank again the next night
Bullshit m8 wendys closes drive thru at 1 am
>party at friend's house we decide try red wine
>smoke like hell that nite drink a bottle alone
>drink beers and get more high too drunk
>oh shit im going to puke see red vomit!
>omg got panic i start yell im going to die
>im puking blood!! friends tells me wine dude you drink to much red wine
>get realized i wasnt diying get quiet the rest of the nigth
>Asks me what i'm laughing at and i just say "yea".
>Comes over to my desk looks me in the eye.
>I try so hard to not laugh but it slips out.
>He threatens to have me drug tested.
>He walks out and tells teacher to keep an eye on me.
>Some time goes by, it's around 1:40-2:00 (school got out at 2:55.)
>Do the deed.
>Come out shaking so much it was like i was in the fucking arctic or someshit.
>Just sweating like a pig occasionally laughing at shit i think about.
>Time to go home.
>Get on bus, fatass black nigger bus driver.
>Just does that thing black people do then they swing their head at you quick and give you "that look".
>Sit at very back of bus, blasting music in my headphones talking to people and snorting bathsalt.
>Got home, did a ton more, went and bought a 8th of K2 blue and another bag of bathsalt (Whitehorse).
>get drunk with bros
>stumble around outside, see a port-a-potty
>gotta tip that shit over
>shit would not tip I shit you not
>get a running start with 6 grown men
>knock that shit over
>literal shit-river comes flowing towards us, entire neighborhood smells like shit
Damn. What can you tell me about bath salts? I have been thinking of giving them a try, but they sound insanely risky.
Can you honestly tell me about any long term effects you felt?
>summer of 2010
>smoked a lot of weed with two bros.
>one day get too high
>the hunger was real
>make noodles and syrup like on elf
>shit was actually really good.
Now that I look back at it I did a lot of stupid shit when I smoked a lot of weed,
Nope no long term effects at all believe it or not, just know your limit.
(I've been doing all types of various drugs my entire life, you name it, i have done it.)
So do not ever do it like i did or you could go into a panic attack freak out thing and think you're gonna die. (Rare and only happens if you're an idiot what overdoes it or an in-experienced drug user.)
It makes you just completely and udderly happy about everything, i honest to God don't see how so many people have freaked out on it, it makes everything entertaining and makes you contemplate every last detail, it is like the father of meth, much stronger, especially if you get the right kind.
You can ingest it in any way at all as long as it touches your skin, not joking it seeps into your pores if you touch it and gets you just as fucked up. MDPV or Mephedrone is what you want.
>high as fuck for the first time in like 6 months
>forget about how bad the munchies are
>at my friends and he doesn't have shit to eat
>Craving ice cream and waffles
>Waffles but no ice cream
>Find whipped cream and put it in between 2 waffles
>My friend is pissed that I made waffles and asked me what I made
>Can't think of what to call it so I just call it a "Ry-Ry Burger" because my name is Ryan
Well I don't remember exactly what happened, had to piece it together through witness reports
>smoke a quarter with a mate
>go to bar and spend $200 on beer and bourbon
>wake up in ambulance
>apparently I was walking home and fell down a cliff
>someone saw me and called an ambulance
>I somehow lost all my clothes
Pure drone or MDPV with all look like snow white powder, literally whiter than any white i've seen, it kinda gleams in a way. Very very finely ground like dust.
Pudding comes in a fucking can?
OP you funnneeee
One night at a friends cabin on far too much LSD i began ruminating about what is was about Journey (the band) that people hated so much. After an hour of tearing it apart I came to the realization that people hate Journey simply because it's Journey. And it made so much sense. Can't ever remember the logic behind it though. Fak
Yes mephedrone and MDPV are labeled as "bath salts" or "Decorative sand" or "Plant food"
But yea just go do a little research, it might be legal in your state, it became illegal here in NC.
Just go behind a VPN and do research there are many companies what sell it because it's still legal in a lot of places and even some states. find the 90%+ pure. It isn't the cheapest thing but you can cut it and make more easily, and a little goes a very long way despite how much i did it.
This was one of my favorite brands.
>be at a party with my buds
>dirty bowl a hooka
>lay on the ground outside
>its fucking winter
>ground is covered in ice
>just got dumped for the first time
>throw a party
>invite ex boyfriends brother
>ex boyfriends brother tells me more shit that ex boyfriend did while when we were together
>black out time
>apparently i locked myself in the bathroom
>my friend came in and I started crying about ex
> 2 seconds later I start vomiting
> friend said I was laying on the bathroom floor making snow angels in my puke
>2 other friends had to give me a bath
>got naked in front of everybody at party
>showed people my vibrator
>tried to fuck my sexy latino friend
>didnt get laid
>woke up next morning next to sexy latino friend, thinking that everything is fine and dandy and that I got laid
>go to bathroom, see puke on my jeans "Who the fuck puked on me last night?"
>friends tell me what happened and tell me what a slut i am.
>Cuddling with my friend who's a chick.
>Gets a bit sexual
>Start to undress.
>Take underwear off
>Intercourse does not occur.
I am a terrible friend, I would have fucked you after bathing you. I've done that to like ten female friends, some don't even remember (but do know it happened and everything).
Yea but MDMA is too much of a downer, this shit gets you jacked like a dorito and the comedown isn't that bad as long as your wean yourself off of it.
I have did pure MDMA and i can say Drone or MDPV is honestly a lot funner and you have more potential for a good time on it.
>Left my car on outside during a two hour movie while blitzed as fuck
>got super wasted at bar in college, fell asleep in some random girls bed, pissed myself, got thrown out of college because of it lol
This make me miss getting high and just having fun being comfy and laughing my ass off about stupid shit.
MDMA/other party drugs discussion/appreciation thread.
Got to be some motherfuckers who love mandy cuddles out there.
Fuck you Heaven, you've gone too far this time.