Most offensive jokes. GO

>>555257347
You know the best thing about fucking twenty five year olds?

There are twenty of them.

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>>555257347

What has three heads, 14 legs, and 9 arms?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

>>555257347
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?

Take your foot off the back of his head.

What type of people are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

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Two for the price of 1.

how did the nigger feel when he had diarrhea?

he though he was melting

Why are black holes black?

They don't have the right to vote.

Why does nigger cry during sex?

Teargas

What do acne and a priest have in common?

They both come on small boys faces.

Little Jimmy came home from school one day and walked into his parents bedroom, where he saw his mom and dad fucking. Without his mother seeing, Jimmy's dad gave his son a thumbs up and kept on going. The next day Jimmy's father comes home from work and walks into his son's room to see what he was up to. When he walked in he saw Jimmy had his grandmother tied to the bed and fucking her. His father yelled...

JIMMY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
It's not so fun when its YOUR mom, is it?

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>>555257610
fucking lost it

Do you know why Helen Keller couldn't drive?

Because she was a woman.

Whats the best thing about fucking babies?

you get anal and deepthroat at the same time

What's the hardest part of throwing a babby down a flight of stairs?


My penis.

>>555258458
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?

because it wasn't born yesterday!

How do you fit 20 babies in a bucket?

You blend them.

Have you heard the joke about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

9/10 people enjoy gang rape

how many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?
0

>What's worse than one bee sting?
The holocaust

>What's worse than the holocaust?
Two bee stings.

Want to play the rape game?
>response of no
That's the spirit

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>>555258546

>>555258893
Irishfag reporting in
I kek'd

what's the difference between a park bench and a nigger?

the bench can support a familie

Searchers of the missing Malaysian plane have found the Wing's...
Mr and Mr's Wing say they don't know where the plane is though.

>Whats the difference of boy scouts camping and jews?

Boy scouts come home

how many jews fit on a train?

who gives a fuck? they're not coming back anyways

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>>555257347
Guy goes in to the Doctor for his yearly physical exam. At the end of it, he asks the Doctor about him prescribing some birth control for his young daughter.

Doctor: We can do that. How old is she?
Father: She's 15.
Doctor: Ok. Is she sexually active?
Father: *pause* Nah, not really. She pretty much just lies there like her mother.

>>555257347
Your mother is weighs more than the average of her age group.

>What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it.

You really gotta hand it to midgets

They can't reach it themselves

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

The president of the united states of america is a nigger.

>>555257347
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga
Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape
Bestiality Bestiality Bestiality Bestiality Bestiality
Scat Scat Scat Scat Scat Scat Scat Scat Scat
Homossexual Homossexual Homossexual Homossexual Homossexual

2 niggas are in a car. Who is driving?
the cops

>>555259720
i lold

>>555259992
Nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGA0dIz9-Wk&feature=kp

>>555257347
A British Navy Destroyer stops four Muslims in a row boat, rowing towards Brighton. "The captain gets on the loud hailer and shouts "Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading?" One of the Muslims stands up and shouts "We are invading England!"

The crew of the Destroyer all start laughing. When the captain finally stops laughing, he gets on the loud hailer and says "Just the four of you?" The Muslim stands up again and shouts "We're the last four. The rest are already there!"

What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp?

Beats me, I just fly the drone.

How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb?

Noone knows; even Hitler gave up after six million.

>>555258204
you wanna splain it to me cuz I got nothing

>>555257531
people police??

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Okay so I was at a pool and I saw this young woman with no arms or legs lying by the poolside. Just a torso and a head. She looked at me and said "Please fuck me". So I kicked her in the pool and said "There you go, you're fucked."

>>555260464
It's a reference to a viral video called "Happy Birthday to the Ground".
>>555260254
I don't get this one.

please...Stop making jokes about jews. My grandad died in a concentration camp.....
...
...
...
...
he fell off from the watchtower :D

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Nice face! Did the facemaker run out of... supplies... when he made your face?

>>555260626
>
That place is full of muzzos I guess

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>>555260626
It's referring to the large Muslim population in Britain.

>>555260840
>>555260884
Oh, thanks.

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>>555257491

>>555259992
my fucking sides!

>>555257531
im lost, hard time

One might say there is strength in numbers...

tell THAT to six million jews!
> a bit of a cheap copy paste though

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How long does it take for a baby to blow up in a microwave?

I don't know, I masturbate with my eyes closed.

If a woman is holding 3 oranges in one hand and 3 apples in the other, what does she have?

No chance of blocking an uppercut


How many babies does it take to paint a wall

Depends how hard you throw them

>>555260647
:D

>>555260968
>>555259992
fucking newfag summerfag cunt niggers. Old fucking joke, go fucking lurk reddit.

What's the fastest animal in the world?
The last chicken in Ethiopia

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>>555257347
what is the difference between a tire and a nigger ?

you dont have to brun a nigger for it to stink

How long does it take to cook a baby in a microwave? I don't know... I can't tell time with an erection.

Do you know what's worse than a baby in a bin?

a baby in two bins!

>>555257347
Q: Why did God make black people smell so bad?

A: So that blind people could hate them too.

--

What's eighteen inches long and makes women cry?

Crib death.

--

Hershel was a good jewish boy, always looked out for his family and his neighbors, a real mensch. So the day he hit the grand lotto jackpot everyone went apeshit. A massive party was held in his honor, and Hershel true to his nature was paying out like a broken slot machine. The wine was flowing and everyone was singing and dancing when suddenly a commotion started at the entrance to the party hall. Like a wave it moved towards hershel, where joy had been there was inchoate rage. People were yelling " Traitor" "Betrayer". Hershel had apparently given half of his winnings to the Neo-Nazi Party. Hershel was surrounded, and he pleaded "You don't understand, you don't understand"

"They gave me the number." he said as he rolled up his sleeve and pointed to his forearm "They gave me the winning number"

--

(for my canadian friends)
Q: How do you kill a fox?
A: Cut off one of it's legs and make it run across Canada

>>555258738
How do you get them out?

A straw

>>555258143
heh

Do you know what does a nigger say when he's peeing in the river?

"I'm cold"

>>555258738
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.

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>>555257347

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zU_aQVbX39Q

>>555257347
Why do women have periods?


Because they deserve them.

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guise you seem creative
help me here pls
>>555262116
>>555262116

womans has rights

Saw this in a nasty joke thread the other day:

>so i was eating out my gran yesterday, when suddenly i tasted horse cum, then it came to me, "so thats how she died"

whats the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I pull out of my driveway

>>555260647
My grandfather died in a concentration camp too. He was at his post under a guard tower when his friend fell on him

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with 10 year olds?

A: Having to wash the blood of your clown suit.
=================================

Q: What does 80 year old pussy taste like?
A: (shrugging shoulders) Depends.

>>555262262
No. That is just fucking not ok man. This thread is about most offensive jokes. Not most offensive crazy fucking ideas to destroy humanity. It's not even funny.

>>555260107
great story telling with shitty ending

>>555262746
Why did the emo cross the road?

Because no one told him to go down the middle.

Who's the biggest faggot of all time?

Not OP

Whats worse than sucking 12 oysters out of your grandmothers vagina?

Remembering you only put in 11

>>555257347
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

BECAUSE THE DRIVER WAS AN ALCOHOLISM!
LMAO LELELELELELE FAGITS xDDDDD

>>555261373
I lost my shit

What's the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?

[spoiler]The bucket[/spoiler]

A Poem:

I did an ol' gal in the graveyard,
God bless her soul she was dead.
Maggots crawled out her asshole,
and the hair slipped from her head.

When I was done, I saw I committed a sin,
so out from my pocket I drew me a straw,
then sucked out the load I shot in.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus

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>>555263592

That one made me laugh, good job anon

whats the difference between toast and a baby?

I don't fuck toast before I eat it.

>>555261672
explain that shit with hershel

A nigger and a spic jump off the empire state building, who gets to the ground first?

The spic, because the nigger is stopped by the rope

A seal walk into a club.

A babyseal walks in to a club

A young boy came back home with a condom in his hands
>"Mom! what's this???
>oh..er it's a cake packaging
>oh really? I did well eating the cream!

>>555257347
Why did the feminist picnic fail?
No one made any sandwiches
Not very offensive but funny

>>555263958
Are you fucking 12 to not understand that

>>555263958
The jews in the holocaust had numbers on their arms so they could be killed or some shit. He was a holocaust survivor that used his number to win the lottery.

>>555261672
ha nice terry fox one

you know why jews got a big nose?
coz' air is free!

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Showed my selfie on /b/.

Why was I banned for shitposting?

DO you know what a jewish dilemma is?
a free slice of ham

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>>555257347

Whats worse than the Holocuast?
6 million jews

>>555261057
Are you literally eight?

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>>555261327

Sides launched into orbit

>>555266062

I smiled.

i count that as a win.

>>555263178
i don't get it.

>>555258979
summer

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesn't scream when it's in an oven.

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>>555257347
- How long does it take for a Turkish women to take out the garbage?
- Nine months.

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>>555267136

Michael Jackson goes to the beach. A woman approaches him and says , "Excuse me, you're in my son."

>>555258595
kek

The Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you.

How can u spot a rich somali?

By the Rolex on his waist.

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>>555257347
dont fuck with me

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>>555257470
lel

What's the difference between an emo kid and your front lawn?

Your lawn won't cut itself

>>555263040
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.

>>555259243
What a fucked up punchline. "what's the difference between boy scouts and jews?"

Boy scouts come back from camp. Ducking nub

What's the difference between niggers and dog's shit?

The nigger could work, but the dog's shit smells nice

>>555259808
o my god my sides

>>555257347
>Whats the worst part of being a nigger heeb?
Sitting at the back of the oven.

>>555260647
:D

>>555261373
the picture is funnier than the joke

>mommy mommy when can I stop running around in circles?!
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

>mommy mommy the dogs run out of food
Shut up and eat your meatloaf

>Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

>Mommy, Mommy! I don't like this spaghetti!
Shutup or I'll rip the veins outta yer other arm!!!

>Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!
Shut up and comb your face!

What do they do to black people after they die?
>they take off their skin and sell it as wetsuits

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?
>I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

Why are Jew's noses so big?
>because air is free

>>555262714
How odd. MY grandfather died laughing when he saw a guard get crushed by another guard.

How do you know when your sister is on her period?
>Your dad's dick tastes like blood

>>555266062
top kek

>>555267809
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

>>555262912
That's the joke tho

>>555267228
summerfags...

a nigger and a spic jump off a massive cliff just to see who reaches the ground first, who wins?
society

>>555267809
topkek 12.5/10

What do 10,000 battered women have in common?

They don't fucking listen

>>555261327
whats ethiopias national food?

its okay if you dont know, neither do they

>>555271752
Haha. My format was
>ever tried ethiopian food?
>neither have they

what do you call a girl with no legs?

disabled

>>555263250

>because the driver was an alcohol

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>>555268321
>P.S I would fear for your lives while you still have it

what is small, red and makes my wife cry when i feed it to her.

her miscarriage.

why are black people afraid of chainsaws?

>*RUN-nigganigganigganigga*

How do you get a gay guy to fuck a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
- Jimmy Carr

>>555272048
k

>>555257531
underrated post

how do turkish women get pregnant?
the male cums on the wall and the flies do the rest.

when is it allowed to spit a turkish women in her face?
when her mustache is on fire.

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>>555259635

The nearest you ever got to a vagina was when you were born, YOU FUCKING VIRGIN

What do you call a small child with no arms and autism?

Names.

>>555260647
:D

>>555262696
I pay somebody to plow my driveway

>>555272647
get out nigger

>>555272128
That was Gilbert Gottfried, Jimmy may have just used it. ''How do you get a fag to fuck a lady? Fill up her cunt with shit.''

>>555257347

What do niggers and jews have in common?

Heating value.

>>555263958
RETARD ALERT RETARD ALERT

>>555264607
>>555264729
woah

what do niggers and apples have in common?
>they both look best hanging from trees

>>555273127
your caps won't make it any funnier, it's a bawwh story at most

>>555263958
As a canadian, I can really appreciate the fox joke

An Israeli and a Palestinian are driving tanks through the desert. All of the sudden a sand storm rolls through the area they're in and completely reduces visibility to 0.

The two tanks eventually crash into each other due to the lack of disability. The Palestinian climbs out the top of the tank and realizes it's an Israeli tank. He quickly grabs his AK and screams, "ALLAH AKBAR!"

The Israeli climbs out of the tank and immediately goes, "Ooowww my neck; I think I may have whiplash."

>>555260647
D:

Daughter: Mom why don't we eat chimps?
Mom: It's cause we are related to them honey
Daughter: ohh is that why muslims doesn't eat pigs?

>>555273020
so good

>>555259158
You actual retard

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby?

The freezer doesn't scream when I shove my meat into it.

>>555274065
I guess I'm too stupid to get this one. Anyone care to explain it to me?

>>555270447
my grandfather died after seeing these awful fucking jokes that are older than he is

>>555257610

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>>555272119
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Kh-Atprf_I

>>555274065
pls highlight punchline

>>555271979
I actually have a cookbook with an Ethiopian recipe. Surprisingly, it doesn't require dirt.

How do you know if your sister is on her period?

Your dad's cock tastes like blood.

What's the difference between tires and niggers?

Tires don't sing when you put chains on them.

>>555274684
My grandfather died after getting gassed by the dead guards. His ghost died laughing at the silly falling goyim.

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>>555274916

>>555274903
>The Israeli climbs out of the tank and immediately goes, "Ooowww my neck; I think I may have whiplash."

>>555274680
Jews are known for suing over the smallest shit. Especially getting "whiplash" from car accidents.

Also, *visibility, not "disability" in my original post. Fucking auto correct.

>>555275717
I see. Thanks for explaining, but the joke itself is "meh" worthy.

>>555275616
>9gag
Get out.

>>555275909
Well that's just, like, your opinion, man.

>>555263592
oh gosh, you got my vote

the worst part about being a kleptomaniac is always having to take a shit.

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How do you make a 5 y/o girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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>>555276123

>>555274839
perfect example of 10 year old fag who doesn't know what not to say when he's famous

how do you make a baby cry twice? rub your bloody dick in his teddy bear.

>>555276123
Yes. Yes it is.

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

>>555262917
thatsthejoke.jpg

Do you know what's funny?
>A dead baby in a clown costume
And funnier that that?
>Two deads babies in clown costumes
And even funnier?
>A whole truck filled with dead babies in clown costumes
And whats is EVEN MORE FUNNIER?
>The one that's alive trying to get out

What's got four wheels, smokes, and squeals?

A busload of babies on fire.

>>555276746
What does a black man and a park bench have in common?

>A park bench doesn't scream when you carve swastikas into it.

>>555277167
What's blue and has a whoooole lot of titties?

Trash bin behind the cancer ward.

>>555257347
I copulate with my wife in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
>Give me 5, medium rare and you got yourself a deal

>>555257347
Women's rights.

>>555268321
>uses library computer
>thinks that makes him anonymous

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Whats the similarity with a jew and a hard nipple?
Both dissapear after a hot shower.

hue

What does a blind, both arms and legs amputed, deaf, HIV-Positiv girl get for christmas?

Cancer.

>>555257347
All men are created equal

How do you make a 5 years old child cry twice?
>You clean the hymen off your dick with her favourite teddy bear

what's the difference between a toilet and a woman?
A toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you dump your load in it

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Whats the hardest part of dumping a japanese girl?

>you have to drop the bomb twice before she'll get the message

>What's worse than the Holocaust?


Having 6 million more Jews around.

>>555260647

:D

man sees a little girl walking tward a dangerous river, he yell: girl stop!!!
she does not stop
he runs closer to her and yells: girl stop!!!
she does not stop.
he finaly catch up to her and tell her to stop
she asks him: ????????
man: oh nevermind go on

What do you call a retard smoking weed?

Baked potato

>>555258080
But what's the difference between acne and the priest?

At least the acne waits for puberty to hit.

>>555258046

It's pepper spray dumbass. Get the punchline right.

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Why do women love Jesus?

Cause he's hung like this.

pic related

>>555260647
:D

>woman has 3 girls
>go to play in park
>girl 1 "mama why is my name rose"
>mom: rose petal fell on head when born, took as a sign
>girl 2 "mama why is my name lily"
>mom: "lily petal fell on head when born, took as a sign
>girl 3 approaches
>mom: "yes, what is it Brick?"
>Brick: AHHEARERUURHEUAHEHRHUERAUHRUHAGH

>>555275717
What an unfunny joke. Like seriously, that joke is such a huge stretch

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whats worse that 2 holocaust?

12 million living jews

>>555280657
There is literally nothing wrong with being 12 million living jews.

>>555270447
Very weird. My grandfather had sex with the corpse of a man who died laughing when he saw a guard get crushed by another, leading him to his untimely death due to dick gangrene

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>>555257347
A catholic priest and a jew are walking down the street. They see a young boy playing on the sidewalk. The priest says to the jew, "you wanna fuck this kid?" and the jew replies,"out of what?"

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>>555268321

What's more fun than raping a baby until it dies of internal bleeding?

When OP's dog died.

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>>555273020

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>>555270158
oh yeah ?
well yo mama is funnier than the picture
huh !