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It's time again /b/ you might remember me from previous

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 322
Thread images: 52

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It's time again /b/ you might remember me from previous threads last thread i dented my fridge and my nuts wiht a bottle of chardonnay anyways will delivar
>>
>>554804882
>>
Take a video of you stabbing the icepick into the side of someone's car door
>>
Video of you going to the shop to find some adult-sized beers
>>
>>554805183
reroll
>>
Eat the peer and drink the can.
>>
>>554805183
pls
>>
>>554805558
>>554805183
so close yet so far
>>
>>554805183
re-re-reroll

>>554805551
>>554805558
real, twice in a row - one number off
>>
>>554805551
Drink the pear and eat the can.
>>
Can We add duct tape to the list of items?
>>
>>554805734
sorry all i have is regular tape
>>
>>554805827
How much?
>>
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>>554805857
some
>>
come on for once op will delivar and then you dont want anything
>>
>>554806110
Eh. That should work.

Rolling for taping ice pick to the power tool, (Use enough tape to keep that mother fucker on there). Then jam pear onto electric ice pick. It should now rotate when power is applied.You will now insert this inside your anus, and tape down the trigger until the battery dies. Use beer as lube.
>>
>>554806350
thats more like it
>>
>>554806350
Rerollin
>>
>>554806350
>>554806550
Seriously? two 50s? Re-Re roll.

>If I get another fifty I am counting it as a trip.
>>
>>554806658
One more why the fuck not.
>>
>>554806658
>>554806760
moot is fucking with me.
One more out of spite.
>>
bumping with material from previous threads
>>
>>554805183
come on baby
>>
>>554806846
Niggers.
>>
>>554807125
5th reroll. That fucking pear is going inside your ass, OP.
>>
>>554807216
28th or something reroll.
>>
>>554807309
youll get there eventually
>>
>>554807309
If I have to post 100 times I fucking will. I want electro pear inside you.
>>
>>554806350
looks like you'll get some in the ass today
>>
in the mean time heres me throwing an axe


http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20vluy_mov-0019-1
>>
>>554807403
Going again.
>>
>>554804882
Ice pick through tv screen
>>
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Remove ice pick from the list
>>
>>554807582
Single reroll
>>
>>554806350


Fucking shit 68 get
>>
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>>554807609
Reroll
>>
massage pooper with power tool

OP it makes me happy to see you back. the thread with the chardonnay was one of the most enjoyable we've had in far too long.
>>
>>554806350
I'll help roll for that
>>
>>554807538
>http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20vluy_mov-0019-1
link not working.

also rolling for opening beer with icepick with bruteforce over your keyboard/laptop.
>>
>>554806350
I am sure im in the double digits now. rerroll.
>>
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put newck-y brown can in the microwave. when it starts to let of sparks you have to devour the pear before you can take it out.

film this and post in this thread
>>
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>>554805183
rolling for this
also, mush up the pear and throw it at someone then put your dick into the head of the power tool screw tight and blast it
(vid pl0x)
>>
lie down in the road with pear in mouth, ice pick and power tool in hand, beer stuffed in your pants to make your dick look monstrous. put your phone next to you, filming until someone approaches you.
>>
>>554808018
rol again
>>
1. shake beer
2. stab with ice pick
3. spray on people
make sure to film
>>
>>554806350
No idea why im so determined to get this.
>>
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>>554807609
>>
>>554808110
Reroll before I go make some coffee.
>>
Stick the beer in the back of someone else's freezer, or throw it against the wall of someone's house as hard as you can

Pear in pooper
>>
>>554806350
once more into the fray
>>
>>554807985
how will i post the result if theres beer in my laptop
>>
>>554806350
This is going to happen op. I swear it.
>>
>>554808251
phone?
any electronical device which will take damage by the beer is ok as well.
>>
>>554808110
Brewing, rolling
>>
>>554804882
it's good to have you back OP, the last thread was some of the most fun i've had on /b/ in a while
>>
>>554806350
this
>>
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>>554807609
4th
>>
Freeze beer, ice pick the can open, enjoy beer-cicle & pear snacky times while you use the power tool to drill yourself a new anus... in your forehead.
>>
>>554806350
look here moot, just give me this.
>>
>>554808367
Son of a fucking bitch. Once more for:

>>554808110
>>
>>554806350
Roll again
>>
>>554808426
Helping OP not hurt himself too bad.
>>
Hunt any nearby animals (pets/squirrels/birds/whatever) with ice pick and power tool as your only equipment
>>
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>>554808460
Are you FUCKING kidding me?
>>
>>554808458
Fucking jew.
>>
Shove pear up ass
Drink the Brown Ale (that is punishment enough right?
Then use the powertool to cut off your dick.
>>
>>554808525
mind that edge
>>
>>554808525
Cmown
>>
>>554808550
That's the fourth fucking 50 i've rolled. jesus christ. ROLLING A FUCKING GAIN.
>>
>>554808110
Two off and one off. Legitimately the closest I've come in one of these, twice in a row. Fuck. Roll.
>>
>>554808550
A couple more tries guys
>>
cant believe no one's got 59 69 or 13 yet also adding number 50 >>554808550
deciding numbers are 59 69 13 and 50
>>
>>554807985
>>554808343
reroll
>>
>>554808646
>>554808693
I am not leaving this fucking thread until I get this.

Reroll.

for
>>554806350
>>
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>>554807609
>>
>>554808764
I would laugh so much now if someone else got it.
It might actually kill you.

Still, roll for >>554808550
>>
>>554808448
I'm a reasonable anon and willing to compromise. You can drill yourself a new anus, but it still has to be somewhere on your face.
>>
>>554808739
dude with all the 50's is going to kill himself.

last roll for the moment. coffee done.
>>554808110
>>
>>554808646
>>554808739
Tough luck
>>
rolling to help this guy
>>554806350
>>
Stab someone in the leg with the ice pick
>>
>>554808739
Thank you. I have rolled 3 of those things. Now I have a mother fucking chance.
>>
>>554808525
Again again
>>
>>554806350
HALLOWED BE THY NAME AND BLESSED BE THY ROLLS, THOU ART ROLL 50 AND REJOICE AS ANAL POWER-PEAR COMMENCES.
>>
>>554808851
>>554808853

I am fucking dying over here. Anyway:
>>554808110
legit going this time. give me good news when i get back.
>>
>>554805183
rolling for this
>>
Place handle or ice pick in anus, squat onto beer and pear until burst/destroyed
>>
>>554806350
>>
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>>554807609
Rolling
>>
>>554808951
hahaha

rerolling for
>>554808740
>>
>>554808951
You know what, no. Fuck you. Just fuck you. I am CONVINCED moot is fucking with me now.. AGAIN.

>>554806350
>>
lift your left hand fingernail by sticking the icepick between your nail/finger
>>
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>>554808958
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
>>
>>554808525
DO IT
>>
>>554805183
roll
>>
>>554806350
we have to make this happen
>>
>>554806350
We're getting slighty closer
>>
>>554806350
rolling for this
>>
>>554806350
FUCK.
>>
Put the beer in the fridge, the pear in the trash, the ice pick and power tools back in their respective storage spaces and have a wonderful day!!
>>
>>554809148
"slightly"
reroll for
>>554808740
>>
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>>554806350
Rolling for this
>>
>>554808525
Neber gon giv u p
>>
>>554805183
reroll pls
>>
>>554806350
REROLLING FOR THIS
>>
>>554806350
BY ODIN'S MIGHTY FUCKING BEARD THIS POST WILL END IN 13.
>>
>>554809181
Reroll.
>>
>>554808110
I know everyone wants the guy with all the 50's to get it but I'm getting so many 58's and 67's and bullshit fuck.
>>
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>>554807609
Re rolling for safety
>>
>>554805183
reroll
>>
>>554806350
ODIN HAS ABANDONED ME. NEPTUNE, SURELY WILL PROVIDE ME WITH A WINNING ROLL.
>>
>>554809253
gaaaaahhhh fuuuuuuuuck
rerollin again for this
>>554806350
>>
>>554809270
Once more.
>>
stab somebody in the heart with the icepick
>>
>>554805183
roll
>>
>>554809359
Damn
>>
>>554809224
Mothafukcas I will get that get
>>
>>554809359
WINRAR WINRAR WINRAR
>>
>>554806350
ONCE MORE, IN THE NAME OF BUDDAH.
>>
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>>554809303
fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck all things
last one, i quit.
>>
>>554809338
might wanna get help from
jesus
>>
>>554809359

DING DING DING
>>
>>554809352
oh my fucking god just why
...rerolling
>>554806350
>>
>>554809359
I dun wonded!!
>>
ok since it prooved impossible to get any of the 4 numbers i will now add some numbers
Following numbers decide:
69, 59, 13, 50, 51, 52, 53, 55
>>
>>554809359
JHEEZE
>>
>>554809181
Rolling for this
>>
>>554809359
Fuckin bullshite
>>
icepick handle in pooper
dick inside hollowed out pear
>>
>>554809359
he killed the thread
>>
>>554809359
That's just fucked up. god I hate you. I DEMAND THIS BE CAST ASIDE.
>>
>>554809359
YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
>>
>>554809359
damn you
>>
>>554809359
I can not breathe.
>>
>>554809453
but op he winrar'd fur u to put da shit away
>>
>>554809510
What a twat.
>>
>>554809453
drink beer, put ice pick away, eat pear, disregard all other items.
enjoy football game
>>
>>554809359
wont do this since this would be the end of the thread the numbers are the same
>>
>>554809453
where do you live OP?
>>
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>>554809080
>>
>>554806350
Rolling for this
>>
>>554809568
OP is glorious.>>554806350
Re fucking roll
>>
>>554809568

In that case rolling for
>>554806350
>>
>>554809383
roll again
>>
>>554806350
rolling for this in the name of god
>>
>>554809568
thankyou based OP
>>554806350
continuing for this
>>
>>554809568
thank you based op

then my last roll for
>>554808740
>>
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>>554809270
A win for safety. Fantastic.
>>
>>554809270
Reroll.
>>
>>554809601
Reroll
>>
>>554808110
Fuck it. OP gave us a second chance. Last roll. Win or not, I'm going to kill myself. Enjoy the thread, faggots.
>>
>>554806350
HAT FRUIT IS GOING INSIDE YOUR FUCKING RECTUM.

LOOK AT ALL THOSE FUCKING ROLLS FOR THAT THING. THIS HAS TO BE IT. COME ON MOOT. YOU FUCK
>>
>>554809453
>>554809394
Yiss reroll continued
>>
>>554806350
And again
>>
>>554809636
fml cmoooooon
>>
Sell power tool.
Take money to strip club.
Shake up the beer, and champagne showers on a stripper.
Profit.
Post tits.
Throw old pear at drunk idiots.
Use icepick as weapon if shit hits fan.
Moar profit.
>>
>>554806350
rolling again
>>
>>554809695
Has to work eventually...
>>
>>554806350
Roll
>>
>>554809270
reroll
>>
WINNER.
>>
>>554806350
The sheer amount of replies this has gotten. The fact it hasn't won is is just astronomically unlikely.
>>
>>554809709
Moare
>>
>>554809769
winrar
>>
>>554809769
winrar
>>
put everything into a garbage bag.
Get on top of the nearest roof
Throw garbage bag with everything in it at the first vehicle you see
Then yell, Allah Akbar

Video would be mandatory
>>
>>554806350
ROLL PLS
>>
>>554809769
at last!
>>
>>554809769
winrar will delivar in 10 mins
>>
>>554809769
WUUUUUUUUUT
I fucking did it
>>
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>>554809769
Finally.
>>
Put the pear on the powertool, stick the tool up your ass (cut pear if too big) and put it on full speed for 30 secs, use the booze for lube.
>>
>>554809769
We finally got it
-sobs-
>>
Your fuckecd now OP
>>
stab yourself with icepick

empty beer on someone in a park or sumthing (pour it empty on head)

drill hole in car door

throw pear at a homeless man
>>
>>554809769
SIXTY FUCKING NINE NIGGERS.

LUBE UP OP.

>>554809852
>>554809853
ALL THOSE WINS JUST AFTER AS WELL.
this will win as well, watch.
>>
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>>554809769
Of all fucking things, he got a 69. Fucking wow.
>>
>>554809867
also new numbers will be released when i post the delivar
>>
Leave 4Chan forever.
>>
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>>554809884
>>
>>554809947
If you can type after that you mean.
You're sticking a pear'y powertool up your ass
>>
>>554806350
come on so close
>>
>>554809867
FUCKING FINALLY
>>
>>554806350
Roll
>>
I don't know why but I can't wait to see pear in OP's ass
>>
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>>554809992
I don't know if OP knows what he's in for this time. Cork to balls is one thing. But this?

This is bad.
>>
>>554809947
provided you don't die of course
>>
>>554806350
>>554806550

>>554807517
>>554807917

>>554806658
>>554808458
>>554809158

Look at all these matching rolls. there are more but im too lazy
>>
>attach phone to your belt, pants, pocket w/e while in recording mode, so we can still see whats happening
>bring all items with you
>find a random pedestrian
>offer them the pear and just walk off
>after about a meter or two, turn around and throw the beer can into their face
>take out powertool and ice pick
>assume most threatening position you can think of
>yell "BETTER START RUNNING BOY/GIRL"
>charge them
>????
>profit
>>
>>554809867
nice, waiting aND BUMPING ANBD monitoring
>>
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>>554809884
You definitely deserve it.

Neptune smiles on you today.
>>
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bumping too see what destruction I have wrought upon ops anus
>>
Bump
>>
bumpedibump
>>
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Badump
>>
>be me
>be 7- or 8-years-old
>be summer break
>parents work long hours, so grandparents babysit during the day
>
>be at grandma's house
>playing outside in the yard with brother when grandma calls us
>scurry over to grandma to find her carrying a box
>whatsinthebox.mp3
>grandma chimes pleasantly, "Look what I found!"
>grandma places the box on the picnic table
>curled up in the corner is the cutest little kitten ever
>jet black, snow white whiskers, deep blue eyes
>illlovethiscatforever.exe
>he stares at us, but doesn't move; just stares with those dark sky blue eyes
>he doesn't react to our pats and pets
>he just sort of ignores us
>feelsbadman.jpg
>i have an idea so great that it would put the collective minds of all the great philosophers of history to shame
>decide to name him 'Sunny', hoping that if he has a bright, happy name, he'll cheer up
>kitten starts mewing incessantly
>well, fuck me, it worked!!
>cloud9.png
>figure the lil' guy's hungry
>grandma brings some cream in a bowl
>places the bowl next to the happiest kitten ever
>Sunny doesn't move from his corner
>Sunny keeps mewing
>>
OP's just booking an appointment at the local hospital for afterwards
>>
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>>554810729

>Grandma takes Sunny out of the box and places him next to the bowl
>Sunny laps up some cream
>Sunny keeps mewing
>Louder, sharper, harsher
>brother tries to pick the kitten up, but he crawls away from him
>but he crawls away
>crawls away
>crawls
>tfw chills up/down/inside-out/backwards
>Sunny rolls over on his back
>three words:
>scarred
>for
>life
>Sunny is infested with ticks/fleas all over his belly
>parasites packed so thick that we couldn't see his fur or skin
>watched them writhing all over him
>little me screams, "WE HAVE TO TAKE HIM TO THE VET!! NOW!!"
>
>mfw Sunny was dying while we smiled and played with him
>mfw Sunny stopped moving and just stared up at us with frozen eyes
>
>run inside, lock myself in the bedroom, cry for hours until parents pick us up and take us home

We buried him in grandma's flower garden in a brown paper bag. Roughly 20 years later, whenever I visit Grandma, I still go to Sunny's grave and apologize for being utterly helpless and letting him die so miserably.
>Pic related, looks like Sunny.

>R.I.P. Sunny, I'm sorry.
>>
Put it all up your ass
>>
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bumpedibump
>>
>>554810783
Oh god, the feels.
>>
I hope he'll stick a thicker side of pear in his ass
>>
>>554810783
fuck you and fuck your dead parasite infested cat you fag
>>
>>554810783
That's awful, Anon.
>>
>>554810858
I imagine op yelling that right now whilest the powerdrill whur's away in the background
>>
>>554810921
lol'd
>>
uploading to dailymotion now
>>
>>554811104
I'm either going to be very disappointed or strangely fulfilled by this
>>
>>554810729
Wtf man I came to see a pear in some dudes are, not this faggot shit
>>
>>554810991
i can see this, the image makes me happy
>>
>>554810745
No shit. Hope OP's gay. Heaven forbid his rectum tightens around the pear.
>>
>>554811104
my soul is ready
>>
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>>554811104
>>
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>>554811104
>>
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could someone screencap this thread for me please?
>>
>>554811168
i got slow internets sorry it says about 4 mins
>>
did you enjoy it OP?
>>
>>554811436
>inb4 OP jacking off
>>
Bumping for justice
>>
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>>554811436
OP, you don't ever apologize to anyone. For anything. Ever again.
>>
>>554811436
wating and bumping
>>
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bumping for the greatness
>>
Inb4 never gonna give you up
>>
>>554811625
Bumping for your win.
>>
if the thread gets deleted be sure im gonna make a new cause i aint done until 4 rolls or more
>>
the wait is unpearable
>>
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>>554811734
This.. this glorious motherfucker..
>>
>>554811914
Unbeerable*
>>
it didnt really work i think regular tape wasnt suficent might have needed duct tape but whatever i tried not much else i can do
new numbers 33, 43, 47, 50, 51

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20vow0_mov-0035-1
>>
>>554811952
404
>>
>>554811952
404.
>>
>>554811952

404
>>
>>554811952
IT DOESN'T WORK FUCK
>>
>>554811952
404
>>
>>554811952
Publication?
>>
>>554811952
>http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20vow0_mov-0035-1

not working faggot
>>
>>554811952
404
>>
>>554811952
404
>>
>>554811952
>http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20vow0_mov-0035-1
doesnt work, same with your earlier posted vimeo link, as i already said.
>>
We've got a problem
>>
>>554811952
404
>>
File: 1403396259648.gif (931KB, 245x185px) Image search: [Google]
1403396259648.gif
931KB, 245x185px
>>554811952
>http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20vow0_mov-0035-1
its not working op
>>
>>554811952
404
>>
>>554811952
"Publishing in progress"
>>
Will you faggots relax? Apparently you fucktards weren't around for the other thread. OP delivers.
>>
>>554811952
OP, I like you so I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you delivered and are having techincal difficulties. I am going to make coffee and have a cigarette. Back in 10.
>>
>>554812220
I remember all too well the other threads specifically the bottle through car and cork to balls episode
>>
We all trust OP to deliver, technical problems happen.
Anyone with a problem can stick a powertooled-pear up their ass on video.
>>
>>554811952
Also for the numbers
If this is for the same objects,
Run naked through the nearest store with ice pick and tool in hands, beer poured all over body and pear in between your teeth
>>
>>554811952
While we wait, what are we rolling for now?
>>
>>554812089
uploading to youtube you faggots beter not flag this shit

also new numbers: 30, 40, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, and 61

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcOdYrASuak&feature=youtu.be
>>
>>554811952
33 is disabled btw

what are the new tools?
>>
File: 1403414796928.jpg (2MB, 4128x3096px) Image search: [Google]
1403414796928.jpg
2MB, 4128x3096px
>>554812383
indeed
>>
File: dolphin.gif (164KB, 425x417px) Image search: [Google]
dolphin.gif
164KB, 425x417px
oh god op
>>
>>554812531
don't work that way
>>
>>554812531
10000000/10
I fucking giggled.
OP of the year.
>>
>>554808110
Alright, I have to get ready for work. Rolling for this one more time and I'm out. God bless you OP.
>>
>>554812746
My new catch phrase
>>
>>554812531
valiant effort anon

also rolling for eat the fruit
>>
>>554812531
HHAHAH SHIT NIGGAaa
>>
>>554812531
>How the fuck do i do this
>How do i insert a pear on a drill into my anus
Lol'd
>>
>>554812746
new numbers
30, 40, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, and 61

same tools
>>
>>554809737
Not bad.
Reroll for this
>>
>>554812531
Oh shit, fucking brilliant
Lol'd so fucking hard
>>
>>554812531
Throw the pear and beer at people in the street then chase them with the icepick/drill contraption
>>
>>554812865
This is glorious anon
Rolling for this >>554812498
Record and try not to get arrested before uploading
>>
>>554812865
Ice pick all four tires of someones car whilst naked and covered in crushed up pear
>>
>>554813026
Rolling for this
>>
>>554812531
oh god op I lol'd fucking hard
>>
drill a hole in a pear
stick your erected penis in it
walk down the street driking beer while still having your cock in a pear
>>
>>554813014
Reroll
>>
Rolling for putting ice pick into pear, then putting on drill and have the drill on while you try to eat it. Drink beer.
>>
>>554813156
This.
>>
Drink your beer and eat your pear you've done good op
>>
>>554813026
Roll
>>
>>554813026
Rollin'
>>
>>554808110
rolling for this
>>
>>554813156
Damn
I am okay with this get
>>
>>554813191
Role Inn
>>
winner!
also glorious thread OP
>>
>>554806350
Roling kekekekek
>>
>>554813026
rolling in master thread
>>
File: 1390715109239.gif (1MB, 217x217px) Image search: [Google]
1390715109239.gif
1MB, 217x217px
>>554812531
topkek/10
also, rolling for this>>554805183
>>
>>554813156
god damn you ok will post delivar in 10 mins

will make new thread if this one still not active
>>
>>554813368
also op you should shout "HOW DO I DO THIS??"
>>
Dumb your beer down the sink
>>
>>554805183
rollin'
>>
WHAT SHALL WE CALL OP? He needs a name!
>>
>>554813502
Faggot
>>
>>554812531
kek'd HEARTILY.

>How the FUCK do I do this?!
>It don't work that way
>>
>>554813502
Unstable but amusing?
>>
>>554813502
Chardonnay Guy
>>
>>554805183
& again
>>
>>554813502
Shit hand writing guy
>>
bump
>>
>>554813608
voting for the chardonnay pear in ass guy
>>
File: 1403496031957.gif (210KB, 280x199px) Image search: [Google]
1403496031957.gif
210KB, 280x199px
>>554813502
Never forget 69 Drill Pear.
>>
>>554813502
>MacGAYver
>>
File: image.jpg (216KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
216KB, 640x1136px
Bumping with whatever
>>
>>554806350
dis
>>
anyone archiving? OP is too busy fucking fruit to worry about that shit
>>
>>554813815
YES
ALL HAIL MCGAYVER
>>
>>554812531
heres a webm of the video.
pic related
>>
>>554813608
Actually this. Chardonnay guy is best
>>
File: 1403423521658.jpg (111KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]
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>>554813896
aye would appreciate a archive we would
>>
>>554813815
PAPAPIAAAAAAAK
>>
>>554813769
>>554804882
OP we dub thee chardonnay pear in ass guy
>>
had to take a raging shit after i almost had a pear in my ass will delivar in 10 mins from now
>>
>>554814136
Still laughing. Take as much time as you need.
>>
>>554814136
kek
>>
don't worry OP
we still love you
>>
>>554814136
I think we should make a new thread pretty soon.
>>
>>554813964
GIB SUBTITLES.

>How the fuck do I do this!?
>Dont work dat way

Needs to be in there.
>>
>>554813156
hahahaha this shit will be so win if its a good vid. the youtube video had me laughing so hard i cant wait untill a youtube moderator stumbles across that i dont want the video to be taken down but that thought alone would be so funny great thread op
>>
File: plz.jpg (85KB, 900x675px) Image search: [Google]
plz.jpg
85KB, 900x675px
dont let it die
bump
>>
someone make a new thread!
>>
File: 1403400420509.jpg (459KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]
1403400420509.jpg
459KB, 900x900px
bumping for thread life
>>
File: 1403319112106.gif (769KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]
1403319112106.gif
769KB, 500x500px
bbbbbumping
>>
>>554814539
GO NIGgERS.
>>
>>554814436
bumping with pic
>>
File: MacGAYver.jpg (9KB, 194x259px) Image search: [Google]
MacGAYver.jpg
9KB, 194x259px
bumping for MacGAYver
>>
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1403399751383.jpg
55KB, 547x334px
>>554814589
wow
Thread posts: 322
Thread images: 52


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