At 35 and being a wizard, should I still worry if I ever get some pussy and how, or give it up completely and for ever? What do you think /b/?
Pic semirelated: Something I have no physical experience
Try online dating? I'm nearly 21 and a virgin - I'm going to get fitter to get muh self esteem - gynecomastia hasn't helped anything though
>never tried online dating
>feels to me there is a lot of rejects, nutjobs
>35 year old virgin
Not OP. But my answer to this question would be yes and no. Yes in that it's something I would do given the opportunity. No in that I'm not willing to put in the effort to achieve it.
You're being too picky
>wahh I don't want to be a virgin
>I want it to be romantic and sweep her off her feet
buy a hooker and then romance her, you obviously haven't done too well so far, take the easy way. It's time
I just want a simple woman, for a simple relationship. No fetishes, nothing weird, not picky about hair color, or eye color or whatever, a decent person to talk and have fun. Not the sex-crazy slut. That makes me picky?
...aaaaand that's your problem. At some point you just have to get over worrying about what women will think of you. Is your fear of how a hooker will react to finding out you're a virgin (if she even finds out, first girl I slept with never knew I was a virgin) really stronger than your desire for sex?
No, I did this earlier. This image is a repost
im a wizard and im 29, but i have a girlfriend, you will beo k
i don't think so, i'm picky as fuck but i can be picky because i'm 18, i'll so meet lots of girls soon that will have some common interest guaranteed (art), i can't really think of a way to meet people at 35 though, depending on your job or where you are
I think it is. People just expect other people to have some level of sexual experience by 35. Have u ever thought whether the random 35 year old man/woman you meet/know could be illiterate? No. Just makes no sense
Honesty will take you far. There are so many fuck heads that'll tell a girl anything just to get lucky. Since you don't know the magic words, don't try. Just be open and honest (don't tell anyone weird shit) and meet people. When you meet people in public, don't be afraid to just take a shot. Literally the worst thing that can possibly happen is you end up where you have been for the past 35 years.
>Very much non-virgin gentleman here
>Sex is worth the awkward conversation it takes getting to know people
32 year old wizard here. At this point I feel it may be better for me NOT to just "get laid", like a one night stand or hooker, cause then I'd KNOW what I'm missing, and it'd probably hurt even more knowing. I'd love to get into an actual relationship, but what scares me shitless is the fact that I have NO experience in relationships, and any girl I come in contact with expects some suave motherfucker who knows exactly what to say. And I can't do that. I just can't bother myself to try anymore.
College won't magically get you laid, double so if you're commuting. Everyone makes there little cliques and your pushed to the wayside. Women won't talk to you unless you know someone and if you don't know anyone by week2 you're either singled out and picked on or ignored.
> but i can be picky because i'm 18, i'll so meet lots of girls soon
18 will become 21 will become 25 will become 35
stop waiting for it to happen and make it happen. that girl who doesn't look like much who flirts with you? you'll be amazed how differently you feel about her with your dick inside her
don't wait for life to happen, you don't get a second chance. Just this old man's two c worth
join a club. i did a thai kickboxking class, just for fun really, and met a good looking mixed race girl on the first day there. sweaty sparring with an amateur while you both laugh at how clumsy you are is a great way to get to know someone in a non creepy way
what a pussie, jeezus christ. if you want the vag, you go get it. period. you're afraid of this and that, you know what? you're right. no woman will want you cause they can smell weakness. grow some balls. 32?
I know man, I know that and it's pretty uncomfortable to think of that, I try to meet people right now online, not on 4chan though. I had a girl like me once, she "approached" me in a stupid way though, she lied that we used to be together 4 years ago, her friends came up to me and asked if I missed her, I was confused as fuck, my friend put his arm around my neck and pulled me slowly away. It was fucking weird, that girl was cute though... she's probably crazy.
I know it's easier said than done man,
crazy's fine to get the ball rolling with though. Just get in the saddle now, it gets easier over time.
The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to tell a girl you haven't really done this before. if she likes you she won't give a fuck anyway.
the brief initial awkwardness is worth getting past, the earlier the better. like pulling a tooth
It's easy to be an armchair analyst when you don't have severe social anxiety, or some other psychological disorder. I never developed proper social skills to be able to smoothly interact with people I don't know. Everything you can say to me I've already thought of myself. "Oh don't be a pussy, just go talk to a girl.", "It's all in your head anon." etc etc. And you know what? It's all true. It is all in my head. That doesn't change the fact that it effects me. It's like telling someone with tourette syndrome to stop twitching. "Oh its easy, just stop twitching. See? I can do it, you can too!" No, it doesn't work like that.
Do you have something meaningful right now in your life? Was your first sexual experience meaningful? Aren't there women who may not be bitches and still frequent bars, gyms etc?
Another girl gave some hints that probably weren't hints, then she slapped my ass after we double high-fived, I didn't like her though, she had the most amazing ass but we had nothing in common, even if we had things in common I would have been too much of a pussy to ask her. But sometimes I don't know what to do or how to react though, like I'm not human man.
Understand that when just talking to women you need to make them feel good about the whole thing. Not necessarily very funny, cool or otherwise impressive - just that you are doing your best to make the thing a (small) positive experience to her.
Then just continue - all women know that path leads to sex, and for the unkissed: the path is much shorter than you would ever believe, but when the woman signals it (usually some "let's go to some other place for the next drink" style), you have to take the initiative and move forward step by step - never explicitly asking and not rushed to not display desperateness/neediness.
thanks, those things make sense. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years though (like in school), I do see her sometimes outside though, because she lives really close, if I would approach her, what should I say? just like hey it's been a while, what are you doing? or something?
I know the feeling buddy, I was a late starter too.
At least fuckable girls find you attractive, that's half the battle
Unless you actively avoid it it'll come along sooner or later, I wouldn't stress about it too much
Just fuck a hooker already.
I lost my virginity to a hooker at 24, I was a nervous wreck the first time, she felt that and she was really sweet about it and made my first time awesome by going slowly and letting me get some confidence.
The experience will de-mystify the pussy and stop it from being a near godlike idol for you, which is most likely where any nervosity or stress about it comes from.
Since then I've slept with 8 women, most of them I banged regularly for some time, and I never had any problem with feeling unconfident ever again.
These days I can even go up to 10's in bars and just shoot the shit not really caring if it's gonna get me laid or not.
>10's actually like when guys come up just to talk, instead of just obviously trying to fuck them..
But that's the thing. If I get a hooker, for a fuck or something else, will that actually help? It may, but it may not, and then I'd actually know what I'm missing rather then just assuming what it's like to feel loved. I'm not far enough yet to be actually considering suicide, but I feel if I go through with something like that without actually doing it with someone I'm in a potential relationship with, it'd just let me know all the more what I don't have and make me feel worse.
Any psychological disorder, then.
Depends, anywhere from twice a week to twice a day. Probably averages out to once a day to once every other day. As for what kind of porn, vanilla, lesbian, etc etc. Nothing too raunchy
This sounds easy. I hope that I don't have to talk about myself a lot, something i particularily hate. Point is all other topics are to me either boring (politics, work) or things i tend not to discuss (relationships-related, for obvious reasons). So i guess fun topics (cinema, going out, etc) are the magic ones?
Exercise in the morning. Don't pump iron and turn into a meathead, do running or cycling or whatever.
If you're physically fit, confidence is more likely to follow. Bump into someone after exercise and conversation is easy, tell her you should grab a drink some time (don't suggest this unless you know you can hold a couple of beers)
you don't need to make a move on her straight away. hang out for a while and plant the idea in her head, if she likes you she'll let you know
but confidence comes with exercise, so if you aren't fit that's the advice I'd give to the younger me
honestly man, don't overthink it. 4 billion years of evolution is driving you. your body knows what to do
> At least fuckable girls find you attractive, that's half the battle
The other half might be "All women want to have sex all of the time."
Only learned that from my second gf when she had a moment of blunt honesty.
It finally answered the question I carried around with me for a decade: 'what do women really want?'
sex is sex, its fun but it doesnt need to be meaningful. the only meaningful partner i had (as in loving the person) ended up being a nightmare anyway.
If i were you, id fuck a hooker or anything subpar, youll get over the fact youre a virgin. Then youll see its nothing intimidating and so you can be able to move on to something "real"
you see, for men not obviously handsome like some hollywood star, there is like a hierarchy of some sort. you have to build confidence by getting involved with any girl you can. so, if you're aiming at the 10/10, go low. and low. and low till you get it. you need to start! if you don't, you're going to be a sad 30some dude with no pussy.nobody is confident in the beginning but fake it till you make it. you're not perfect: you're supposed to fail, stop loving you so much that you cannot live with a little shame and embarrasment.
OP here. My 2c about masturbation: exactly as mentioned by the other guy. It feels like a normal sex life's frequency and habits. I guess that keeps me sane, non-suicidal (my work does that for me too).
Sounds hard as shit to me. Everytime I try and chat up a girl it always seems like she expects ME to carry the entire conversation while juggling kittens and farting hundred dollar bills. And the subject of past relationships ALWAYS seems to come up in a way that makes it extremely hard to avoid smoothly.
It usually all ends in extremely uncomfortable silences that can stretch minutes.
stop masturbating. think of masturbation as something you cannot do to solve your sex problem. than you're going to realize the real nature of your needs, the size of your needs. if you're not a psycho, you'll have to create the guts to do something about it.
I know one guy who used to tell girls he was trying to fuck that he was a virgin. I have no idea why, as it wasn't true, and he seemed to get laid a lot that way.
There's no guessing what girls will go for, a big part of confidence is being open about the things you don't like about yourself and appearing not to give a fuck about them
ive have and have had plenty of meaningful things in my life. some have been taken and some have stayed but life is life and you cant look for meaning and you dont know whats meaningful until you reflect back anyways. you gotta fucking live dude and have shit for your memoirs. all this would've already happened to you already and you would've known this but its still a wonder to you
I used to do gymnastics, I really want to swim more, like just swimming lines. Right now I'm not doing any sports, I actually am at home all day. Like less than a year ago I started doing pushups everyday because I could, started with 30 (my max back then), went up to 60, now I'm doing 30 every other day with 1 minute pause inbetween, so like 30, pause, 30 and so on, got to 135 today, after that I eat cottage cheese to build it all up. I do feel more confident because of that, my chest looks really muscular which is awesome, I can't get fat (genetics and age) atm, I got most of my dads genes and he can't get fat either. I do overthink, but man, like I think I know things, but thank you for your advice, you're changing my perspective a lot, thank you. I have a hard time with starting conversation, but not keeping conversation, at the place I'm going to do art with people I was just standing alone, until a guy came up to me and asked me stuff, I'm so fucking glad he did that because I can't start that, but talking is easy. I got to talk to two more people because of him, one girl who looks meh and another girl who looks like a fucking angel, pale as fuck, almost white hair, I don't know if I could ever go for that, she asked stuff about me though but we didn't have much time to talk, does that mean anything if she's asking me stuff? I'm maybe gonna see them all again in august.
I'm afraid that would make me even more frustrated. I have to keep a normal face at least to people i know, cause almost noone knows about me. So from time to time, when i feel low, i try very very careful to fake it a sentimental issue, say a fight with a gf, without going into details.
Sometimes i feel almost guilty about masturbation. Physically it feels good, psychologically i know it makes me worse, but i feel i should to do to keep me in some balance. Totally stupid shit, i know, me painted into a corner,,,
That's kind of the attitude I've been adopting recently, actually. Just not giving a fuck anymore. I mean, I don't go out of my way to tell people I'm a 32 year old virgin who's never been in a relationship, but if I'm directly asked I just don't care enough anymore to hide the fact. I guess that could be pseudo-confidence, just not caring anymore, lol.
oh, right! I guess it is hard to live in America. I've never heard of a 30 year old virgin and you guys have gave them a name and all. Plus that Elliot Rodger dude saying he couldn't have girls. WTF is wrong? America is becoming Japan where people cannot communicate phisically and live alone?
You're taking it too serious - had the same prob when younger.
To give a good feeling is very difficult talking serious. Being funny is also seriously attempting to be funny. Don't.
In these days:
Start talking about the worldcup to a girl, gauge her reaction and unless she is honestly eager to talk about it, then next say something like "but I didn't come here to talk soccer to you."
Then talk about anything you have a positive feel and try to project that feel to her - it should not be typical male themes only. Talk in a half-serious way, joke [not explicit joke, a sarcastic remark or so] a little over others, over yourself, and then don't forget also over her - women find it totally annoying if the male is in "locked up in complete awe" mode.
ummm u should care a little about telling people you'er a 32 year old virgin
what you should NOT care about is stepping up to a chick you like if she looks at you for longer than 2 seconds and asking her out somewhere and getting turned down. if she des that OH FUCKING WELL theres millions of bitches everywhere at LEAST 1 will say ok
I don't know.
I give off the feeling that I just don't give a crap about anything.
Women pick up on that and they think you don't care about them.
And while that's true it means that they won't see you as someone to have sex with.
I have literally been told this, but I don't care enough to change my attitude.
I think at some point I'll reach a state where I completely stop caring and just randomly ask women if they want to fuck or not.
hmn, weird, this is some of the friendliest threads i read on /b/ in a long while. i´m 25 years old and... who would have guessed, i´m on my way to be a wizard. i don´t know, i guess it´s about my dick. it is not big at all, 4.8 inches when hard. always in fear that girls would only laugh about my lousy wiener... i definitely would have had the chance to get laid at one point few years ago. but i was too afraid, it all sucks.
What's the point of losing your virginity with a hooker? I don't want to pay for sex.
I want free sex. And here I really mean free.
None of that girlfriend shit. I want a fuck buddy.
> So from time to time, when i feel low, i try very very careful to fake it a sentimental issue
You have yet to learn the great wizardly art of pretending to be happy to people around you while going through the soul crushing emptiness that is your life. That way no one asks what's wrong and you don't have to answer.
Be warned though, once you learn this art, it's almost impossible to turn off.
Like I said, I don't go out of my way to tell people, and if someone asks me if I'm in a relationship now I just say "not at the moment.", I don't go "NO I HAVE NEVER BEEN I AM VIRGIN".
I think, to phrase it better, I used to avoid being placed in a situation where I'd have to talk about my personal life, but I don't anymore cause I'm not scared of people finding out anymore.
Hey OP, can I ask what your relationship experience is? Know you said you're a 35 year old virgin but don't think you expanded on that any yet.
I have absolutely no reservation from talking all female-y topics with a woman. I just love asking and learning new things, say how they choose their lipstick or about their kittens. Dont bother that i will forget them. I even think i'm funny, probably to ironic sometimes Problem is i'm a better listener than talker. I could even end up silent while she does all the talking. Which is bad, makes a guy bland and boring, therefore friendzoned at best.
heh, my nigga, I am 32 and a virgin as well. Mostly because I was a loner in high school, a neet after high school, practically a hikikomori when in college, and now I have a job where I keep weird hours working alone and basicly interact with people once and then never see them again.
Everyone is different, but if your happy who gives two fucks about sex or women?
This guy. Follow his ways. I'm 34. It happens. Be honest awkward happy and good. Lose that crazy look. Talk about whatever and keep your standards 0.standards are ego killing. You know that awesome douchey dude that gets all the bitches? He's faking that shit every day and getting fake crazy bitches. He'll die alone or Un happy. Flow with the go.
I'm fairly similar. Moved to a rural hick town for elementary school, got bullied cause I was a "city kid", which is probably why I turned quiet and unassuming, less people bothered me since I didn't stand out. Breezed through highschool with only minor bullying since I kept to myself a lot. Didn't go to college, went straight into the work force. 10+ years with the same company, working at one of our smaller locations with only 3 other employees and all of them, although good people, don't really get along with me as anything but a co-worker, so I'm usually left alone.
As for being happy. I'd probably say I'm content with my life rather then happy. It just feels... lonely at times.
OP here. No experience at all. No dates, no kissing, some talking that got me nowhere. A funny thing from university years, for example. I really liked a girl, she had the best boobs/ass combo of all i knew. So we had some talk one day. After skipping boring topics she said i 'd like to read you one of my poems. I'm not into poetry i said. Oops, i didnt even get friendzoned...
Back to now. I do have female friends, all are into some relationship (long term or married) that i absolutely honor. Some male friends, some are married as well, but I'd rather not discuss with them my personal life. I hate it when i have nothing to say when they talk about their lives into their relationships, you know kids stuff, a night out with bf/gf. I never ever ask them about sex, not even those they regard me as a very close friend. Usually they dont tell either, well other than saying something like "i'm so afraid of an accidental pregnancy"
I didn't say female-y things. Just not exclusively cars and sports.
Unless you're an expert on lipsticks, you choose a topic where you have some positive feelings on that you want to send out to her, and I really mean feelings not facts (and "cool" is mostly the absence of feeling).
And no, you don't have to do all the talking - if you successfully gave her some positive feelings on places you've been or less than usual experiences you had (even locally), you can look at her a bit expectant and let her bring up a new topic - but if she can't remember once again: this is nothing serious, not a challenge or anything, bring up anything else that comes to your mind
>apparently getting more pussy than half of /b/
Just go fucking talk to a girl. Be polite but don't be a faggot. Then go buy her a strawberry frappaccino. Bitches love stawberry frappaccinos.
26, pretty much the exact same case.
These days its just getting tiring just trying to give a shit about people though.
In fact I think I care more about my hobbies than I do about my entire social life including family.
haha, that reminds me: pretty much every man in his life will have a woman tell him his dick is too small...
my current gf told me after couple of weeks my 6.5 inches is lacking - I was already towards women giving me the shit-test in the "whatever" mode and ignored it.
Another month later she complained I hit her her cervix too hard in doggie style...
buy a whore.
so that you didn't come to this easy solution for yourself: yes, give it up. you are without any hope. i actually think males like you are kind of subhuman, like retarded apes
I have some really positive feelings about a postgrad i was doing and still related to it somehow. pretty proud about my work there. But, as much as i liked it, i find it a boring topic. I can discuss it without any jargon, and, u know, i really did 2-3 times speaking of my feelings about it.
Would that carry me along?
32 y/o wizard here. I was similar around your age. I just lost myself in my hobbies and work, and the days/weeks/months/years sped by. Once I hit 30, I realized, well, I was 30, with no real friends, no relationship, no one I could say I actually loved aside from my parents (no I don't live with them). Coming home to an empty apartment day in day out with no one to greet you, no one to share your time/life with, will slowly eat away at you.
At least, if you're like me it will. Some people may be totally fine with that. My advice to you would only be: It's fine to feel that giving a shit is tiring, but don't shun people in favor of your hobbies, else you'll find you have no one at all around you anymore.
Don't listen to him. It was just an invitation for her to get attention, and when you wouldn't give it to her, she bailed. If she was into you she wouldn't have cared at all you didn't want to hear her poetry.
you got me wrong faggot. i don't blame you for not getting a gf, a ons or something like this. but there is a way to fuck a woman for money. and you still didn't do that after all the years.
go to Nevada or Germany or the Netherlands, fucking hell
Why do you want a woman? If you just want sex, move somewhere that isn't a theocracy (see above, except Nevada, that's just a weird place) and get you some. If you want companionship, get some close friends and a pet.
We are told from birth that getting married is what you're supposed to do, but nobody ever explains why. It dawned on me when I saw an ad for some matchmaking service in an airplane magazine. It billed itself as being like an executive search service for the perfect mate. I could only think to myself "for fuck's sake, are people really doing that? Have we gotten so caught up in the whole noble lie of the perfect marriage that we look for the perfect person?"
Focus on yourself. Grow yourself. Make yourself the greatest version of you that there could possibly be. Let the cards fall where they may. At the end of the day, we're all decomposing in the dirt. Love the time you have on earth, forget what others think.
tl;dr Move to Germany, fuck hookers, live and love your life.
Almost a 22 kissless virgin here.
I don't look too bad. I could stand to lose a little weight. Best way I can describe myself is as if builtfat let himself go a little bit.
The reason I'm like this is because I think my standards are too high and I'm afraid of seeming to forward. As in, I'm afraid that a woman will see me as incredibly desperate if I try to make a move. I'm pretty sure I have lost many chances. How can I change myself, /b/?
I feel close to getting trolled... sorry.
Giving positive feelings is not "did blabla fact, another fact... and then I felt great"
but "and on the top of the hill I had hiked up, I sat in the afternoon sun with a cool breeze going, and looked down Silicon Valley and across the SF Bay and took in all the details..."
you have to let her step into your shoes, so to speak
I know what you want, but the problem is what you're not having. "Virginity" is crap, it doesn't exist. Hopefully a person will fuck thousands of times during his/her lifetime, the first is definitely not among the best.
The hope is that, after understanding how sex and sentiments work with a hooker, you'll be more confident to get girls on your own. Or at least you'll have had better sensations than the ones one's own hand can provide.
>live in parents basement
>religious family also
>live in wisconsin
im a emotionless robot zombie, i cant feel depression, sadness or loneliness. or anything.
My problems with this are... I don't hike. And I know that was just one example, but seriously, my "hobbies" include gaming, reading fantasy, and watching cartoons. Those aren't really subjects you use when striking up a conversation.
ah, alright, that's good man. how's ffxiv a realm reborn? i've played in the beta when you didn't have to pay monthly, is it worth it? like the endgame and stuff. i liked it got to like lvl 2x, am also a big wow player if that matters.
I just picked the first thing that came to my mind, with nature you almost can't go wrong. Everybody has something on that, and if it was with your parents or the school class elegantly don't mention it (but when asked don't cover it up either)
I have no direct personal experience but I heard there exists a bigger number of gamer chicks than officially confirmed.
eu is good, i'm german.
we should connect via email.
simple fact is, online-dating works and i could get you into a date in some weeks. it will take many dates but in maybe 1 year you will get the right girl.
deal is: we no contact each other via mail (don't just post it here, if you want, i explain you a simple protocol to get into contact), then you send me a picture of you and i will decide to help you or not.
i don't want anything for it, no money or shit. i'm just sick of all that wizards never getting laid while online-dating with some simple tricks is so fucking easy.
only thing i want: you will post your progress and success, just your story, in about 1 year on /b/.
1. send me an email with a random 5 digit number at [email protected]
2. after you have send your mail, you will write here in this thread, that you send it. without further information!
3. i will acknowledge that i have received an email and demand you to post the number here
4. when the number you will post here is equal to the mail-number, i know your mail is legit and we are in contact
5. you will ge another mail from me, how we can stay in contact and you will send me an picture of yourself. i just want to find out, if you are entirely fucked up or if there is a chance. if it is, i will help you with online-dating. i don't want money, i don't want anything, just your progress. i'm not any kind of some pickup-artist-shit, just someone who had some success in online-dating
are you in?
>f you are entirely fucked up or if there is a chance
"f you are entirely fucked up or if there is a chance"
I wouldn't accept help from this asshole No is "entirely fucked up", nazi scum.
So I'm gonna give to everyone of those High Level Wizards and White Knights, of the internet some knowledge and advice for life.
World is shitty, most of the people in this world are superficial. Sight is our main door to reallity and if you look like shit people will actually think worth shit. Protip n°1: Get a shortcut and dress apropietly for your size and age.
Then again most people are retards
Most people on /b/ are at least one standard deviation above averege, i think at least for what i can on most comments.
Protip N°2: So from time to time learn about some shit like Football, soup operas, etc. So you have something meaningless to chitchat about.
Then you will get into women radar. No matter what people say, most women are vain.
Use thems as tools. Like primitive mens used Bow and arrow, to hunt pray to eat.
kek, op doesn't do a shit.
i'm offering help. not just shitpost as almost everybody else here but just offering help. no answer.
did this a few days ago with some idiot who wants a steam-gift, caus he is broken, his gf left him, he lost his job. i just wanted some very simple proofs to spend him DayZ but this kid didn't deliver.
this is just a big shithole of lies. not a single cry for help is real.
Live on,it's free!