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Work stories thread???
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Work stories thread???

>Work at Carls Jr
> shift leader calls me
>"what happened?"
>someone made a mess in the women's restroom go clean it
>"Im on 30 minute break."
>I don't care go clean it.
>walking in with mop and bleach
>fucking diarrhea on the floor
>look inside the trash and there's soiled jeans
>I take 20 minutes to clean all that shit up
>throw away trash and used mop
>go back to break room
>alarm goes off, break is over
>fuck fast food

I took pics of the fucking mess
>Work at walmart
>Everything about it sucks ass
>I quit
Too many stories to tell really. The one that stands out the most is when I got robbed at gun point and after giving my story to the police my manager wouldn't let me go home early. I literally JUST GOT ROBBED WTF
Post pics?
Please do tell
>been working in a 120 degree steam room for last 8 years
>mfw all I do is kill millions of crabs in a hot as nigger steam room all day everyday
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Why are you even asking? You know we'll fucking read anything.
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fyi, if you're off the clock on a break, legally you don't have to do anything for your bosses
not true in food service.
it's one of those jobs where breaks aren't regularly scheduled and can legally be interrupted. He is entitled to more break time later if his break is interrupted though.
I hang out in casinos and sell drugs pretty awesome job
Murica doesnt have stable or sane labor laws, theyd just make up a shit reason to fire him or just fire him with no reason at all.

[spoiler] Good thing they were manipulated into killing off the unions, that sure worked fucking well.... [/spoiler]
>teach music
>odd kid whose eyes jot around constantly
>says "my uncle showed me his tentacle"
>points to his crotch

i had no response and never saw him after that
Don't you need some sort of waste disposal training to handle washroom disasters? I'm pretty sure they have them in Canada, but I dont know about 'murica
Damn, quite a mess.
well where i work at a pizza joint, that's how it is, and if i do get fired for being forced to work off the clock, i can legally sue for wrongful termination
Ive alwase wondered how much profit a pizza place generates I bet its surprisingly alot

i misclicked, my bad
Okay, here's a story from my tales as a Mcdonald's crew member (current job).
A little background info, I have this ass hole shift manager, he's a fat ass, he smells like moldy cheese (if you have ever been around a fat ass you know the smell), and i think the fucker is stupid.
anyways, story time.

> Summer day, around 90 or so degree heat
> let's call this manager "fatass"
> fatass is working the table.
> muh sandwiches.
>ff to the last hour of my shift (he works the same shift)
> He is pissed because we were too busy for him to get a break
> He goes to the restroom while I am mopping in there
> i hear sobbing/moaning noises from one of our stalls
> wtf.jpeg
> knock on door, no response, wait 5 mins
> knock again, no response, wait another 5 mins
> noise still occuring.
> knock again, no response
> at this point I think fat ass is dead
> I go to the janitorial closet where we keep broom, cleaning solutions, and other stuff
> get restroom keys
> unlock the door
> I see my 6'2 and 300lb boss, shirtless
> he was licking around his massive boobs
> I don't fucking know why

Oh my fucking god, his nipples her so massive.
When I put it all together later that night, I came to the conclusion that he was doing it for the sweat/grease that was on them.
Not sure if that's true but it's what I tell myself.
The was the last time I worked with fat ass
the one i work at is actually doing pretty poorly, we are a buffet/pizza joint and we have a small town (pop ~3k ish) and have strong competition coming within the next 2 years (casino/new grocery store)
lol Crab Slaughterhouse?
that sounds awesome.
"Work Stories Thread"

brought to you by the same dumb ass losers who brought you

"nobody needs a college education anymore"
I started selling drugs in a casino when I had a kid and I make retarded money. I have no reason to stop I say I beat college.
let's say i go to college for whatever degree, and get a msters for that degree, wouldn't all my student loans and whatnot make me be in so much debt that i'd still be making the same as a non college grad after debt payments each month?
>working as security
>more like "girl for everything"
>have to work at bodyworlds
>have to be cashier for the merchandise-shop, show around the visitors and be security at the same time
>best job of my life

>be me
>be at the merchandise-checkout
>guy comes up
>"what do you got?"
>ill show him the books, dvd's and stuff
>"yeah, but can you show me whats on this dvd?"
>wut? do i look like a freakin tv?
>"yeah, well, pretty bad costumersupport"
>"why is the english catalogue different from the german one?"
>how the fuck should i know, i'm the security guy, not some wikipedia-site
>"dont know, maybe its a different edition...?"
>"why dont you know that exactly??? pretty, you should do better, son..."
this went straight for half an hour. i was about to explode in so many pieces.
>half an hour later
>"yeah, ill take 9 books, 3 dvd's, that mousepad, maybe another mousepad, balblabla.."

the guy then bought merchandise for 120 euro straight. he wished me a nice day and less customers like him. grined and went out.
college is for chiudlren nowadays buddy.
well, atleast for the most part.

it'd guess around maybe 35% of college kids actually do shit,while the rest fall back into line.

but if you ever go by the term "full time student" you are garbage.
ew i hate fat pieces of shit like that. got anymore stories?
this guys got it down
americas education is shit
the onyl reason im going to college is cause a new one is being built near me and theyre giving full rides to all of the inaugeral class members
kind of a gamble but what the hell, all i gotta worry about is room and board
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Holy fuck what a queer, that's all?

Good thing you don't work at a hospital. That is literally nothing. I cleaned up 5 messes in a 4 hour time span that were 3 times worse than that. I had to scrape 2 of them off of 80+ year old ball sacks. Then I got to go and serve all of those ungrateful fucks their dinner. Also 2 of my co workers didn't get lunch breaks.

I am so sick of hearing about how shitty fast food jobs are.
fucking sleep.
if that's true, you are one hell of a lucky bastard already
>be 21 and a plumber
>whole streets plumbing is blocked
> get to house and confirm its councils job not mine
>old guy who's house I'm not working on is a cool bloke but thinks he's a computer wizz
>starts explaining to me how he torrents movies then puts them on DVD and sells them.
>be polite and listen while waiting for council to arrive so I can leave.
>20 long ass minutes later council arrives and I can leave.
>get in the car and the guy cones up to me and gives me a bootleg copy of Whitehouse down and gives me a wink saying 'take this for doing a good job'
Nothing exciting just an awkward experience

dumb ass losers

>Those with bachelor's or associate's degrees earn more money over their lifetime than those who skip college, even after factoring in the cost of higher education, according to a report released Tuesday by The Federal Reserve Bank of New York. ... A person with a bachelor's degree can expect to earn about $1.2 million more, from ages 22 to 64, than someone with just a high school diploma, the report said.


Enjoy your sour grapes and poop-filled bathroom stalls.
alteast you make decent money.
I mean, that job is fucking horrible, but you get paid what you earn.

you bet your thumbs i am
i literally had no plan before i heard about this university springing up out of nowhere
so far ive realized that if i NEED to get soemthing like an education, i either be a go getter like some of my incredibly smart friends, or wait for a good opportunity like this university and scholarships

If you're shit is anyway half decent you can make money. Pizza is dirt fucking cheap to make and the mark up, even at a hole in the wall place, is intense.
>Best Buy
>worked there since 16(18 now)
> first black friday
>me and teen are bringing down ps3's from top shelf
> we get into rhythm
>I'm throwing ps3's from the top to to him at the bottom of a ladder
> gets hypnotic
>drop one then hear crash
>look around and teen is laughing ass off
> "duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude what the fuck"

we put that shit on the shelf and carried on with our routine.
>this is why you build pc
haha that is pretty sweet
there are several states where you can't fire someone for discriminatory reasons but you can instead fire them for no reason at all.
implying that person gets that degree in the 4 years directly following high school, also implying they don't declare bankruptcy in the mean time because of their loans and whatnot

>work in a 5 star hotel/resort
>at the sports/activities dep.
>in the slow seasons, I can use the gym and the pool
>re-started lifting because of this
>only drawback: more than 3 clients in the gym? Done or not, Im outta there.
>One day, leg day. Client comes in, complains about my presence there (she was not even a client of the hotel, only of the gym dept. [we have those overpriced membership options]) and that I should pay like everyone else.
>manager lied by saying that I can because Im a member like her.
>mfw I have no face
its not just a case of how much they earn though
its how much investing needs to go into it to begin with
and then if they can even get a job right afterwards to start paying it all back
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>why didn't you clean it up?
>I would have added to the mess
>Well, we could have addressed that if it happened
>So you would rather risk making a bigger mess, than letting someone with an iron stomach take care of the small mess?

fuck logic.
lol where's your pics?
I also have been paid with a loaf of homemade banana bread and a banjo. No point charging someone a 1 hour minimum to change some tap washers or something
My moms a 30 year nurse. Respect bro that jobs brutal
wow they must have done some fucked up math considering the average American WITH said diploma caps his annual Finances around 200 thousand.
>using federal statistics to average
half of the people I work with have college diplomas, and they do make more money than me, but they also spent their entire life getting there.

such is life in foam factories.

Maybe if you went to college you might learn the concept of averages.
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You try doing that on minimum wage and see how much fucking respect you have for yourself at the end of the day.
cleaning shit is in your job description.
>17 working at KFC
>manager asks me to clean the staff toilets
>no problem clean the mens room
>knock and walk into the womens toilets
>blood has been wiped all over the stall with there fingers bloods still wet.
>nope, walk out tell manager i'm not cleaning up that shit.
>they cant make you clean up anything thats a possible biohazard
>proceed to tell every woman at KFC that some disgusting bitch wiped their period blood all over the bathroom stall. thinking back i should have checked the security cameras.
>working graveyards in hotel
>late one night, come out from office to the desk to do something
>notice there is a feint foul smell in the lobby
>start walking around to investigate
>start down a hall towards bathroom, smell getting stronger
>recognise smell of shit
>get to the bathroom door, there's a shit smear on the door
>Think to myself - fucking wonderful, guaren-fucking-teed this was a drunk ass injun
>hesitantly open the door
>smeared on the walls, mirror, faucets, towel dispensers, little nuggets of shit all over the place, shit smeared paper towel everywhere
>looked like someone had shit themselves and attempted to clean themselves up
>fucking gag , get the fuck out of there
>continue down the hall, smell continues to grow stronger
>get to the back foyer
>sure enough, as I suspected, revolting middle aged indian passed out on our leather sofa
>absolutely COVERED in shit, all over his hands, face, clothes
>his shit covered pants down to his knees
>he gave up on cleaning himself and just passed out
>go back to the office and call the cops
>tell them to make sure they bring some rubber gloves, hazmat suits if they have them, b/c the guy looks like he just crawled out of a toilet
>few minutes later two cops show up, both wearing them blue plastic gloves already
>both of them look pissed off as fuck that they're the ones that got put on the call to deal with big chief brown streak

was the banana bread good?
and what did you do with the banjo?
Please work on your English language you europoor cunt
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>one of them just says "alright where is this piece of garbage"
>show them to the back, first show them the state of the bathroom
>"oh jesus"
>continue to the revolting injun
>cops see him, one makes a statement about indian steriotypes being all true, sees it every single day
>preaching to the choir
>start hollering at him to try and wake him up without getting close
>no response of course
>they ask me if I have something to poke at him with, since neither of them want to get anywhere near him
>go and grab a broom
>cop jabs at the filthy fuck until he starts waking up
>cops tell him to get the hell up and come with them
>Injun says: "Aw wud da fuck man i never did nuttin you all racist fukin whities" as he's trying to pull up his feces covered pants
>cops escort him outside
>couple minutes later one cop comes back in
>asks me if I have any garbage bags
>give him a bunch of great big ones
>watch through the window as they proceed to cover the indian in garbage bags in an attempt to not get shit all over the inside of their vehicle
god I hate indians
>Be me
>be 21
>Valet attendant at a casino
>almost time for shift change
>guy pulls up in a viper
>gives me a 20 to take care of it for him
>head out to our valet lot
>see headlights in the dark heading straight for me
>Stop car and prepare for impact
>Other car swerves and runs into light pole in the empty fucking lot
>It's a 70k Audi
>Open door to see if other valet guy is ok
>He's out cold and reeks of alcohol
>lol and drive back to the casino

Never Valet your cars folks
are you seriously trying to compare nursing home work with food service?
are you that entitled?
is it really coming down to this?

do you have no shame?
come the fuck on.
nice b8 m8, but in all fairness, if i was a try hard i'd surely go for the brass ring and get myself some type of degree, and massive debt to go with it, i like not being that deep in the red every day of my life for years on end
What's with your need for numeracy, are you autistic?
Working as a mcdonald's crew member p2
A little background info. This was before the restroom incident,Storytime now.

> fat ass is training a new girl on assembly
> this girl is fucking hot 9.5/10
> trainee is having trouble keep up with the pace
> fat ass gets increasingly upset
> he manages to talk through he 6 chins
> his voice is muffled (if you hear a fat guy talk, it's like that)
> he also has a bad speech impairment
> he blurts out "wai da fuq cain't ya keep up"
> she doesn't think much of it and continues doing her job.
> ff about 15 minutes
> she is still slow.
> fat ass is getting angry
> she apologizes for being slow
> fat ass says "saying sorry wont make it better"
> she responds with "did yor dad tell you that?"
> this guy had MAJOR daddy issues
> he is 6'2 and 300lbs
> he immediately starts SOBBING and runs out.
> she leaves too
> i burst out laughing because he is always an asshole to me

To this day i wonder how she knew about his daddy issues
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The banjos at my parents place because I wasn't taking it with me when I moved and yes the banana bread was delicious
implyiing I live in germany and education is free. Europe wins murica sucks ass
Thank you for justifying my reason for pursuing a college degree.
>work at McDonalds
>Working register and preparing the orders due to understaffing
>At register
>Sudden landwhale appears on (I shit you not)one of those rascal scooter things
>she scoots up to the counter
>"I'll have 2 whoppers,a large fry,A 12 piece mcnugget,and a large diet Dr.Pepper
>diet dr.pepper,holy shit my keks
>I go to prepare her order
>get everything except for the drink
>Grab up the large cup
>fill it with the first doctor pepper I see
>give her her order
>A few minutes later I see her scooting furiously up to the counter
>the beast speaks
>Holy shit guise,man the harpoons
>she continues to bitch out for another 10 minutes,screaming about her freedoms
>she scoots out the door after that
>I find out that's she currently trying to sue.
>My god I hate my job
Happened to me yesterday.You will never know this hell
Unions are still extremely common in the northern states.
>Work at Value Village (basically Goodwill but a bit higher class?)
>17 but they pay more than even adult minimum wage ($10.25 was 18+ minimum wage at the time, they paid $11.50 starting for a 17 year old) so I'm happy to work there
>Normally work the "easy work" (cashier and shelf stocker) cause the heavy lifting and dirty work was "for the men"
>One weekend we're severely understaffed
>Make it through Saturday but Sunday is too much to handle
>Boss begs me to work with the donations, which is the "men's work" cause it's lifting heavy bags and sorting through the items which can be dangerous
>Boss is desperate so I say yes, she gives me gloves and sends me to the back
>Only one guy back there, normally there's 3 people working it
>Holy shit no wonder they needed my help
>We team up, he brings the bags in and I sort through them
>Go through bags for half an hour, deeming things sellable or not sellable
>Get to heavy bag full of clothes
>Open it
>The smell fucking hits me
>Start gagging
>It smells like puke and shit that has been in a tightly tied black garbage bag out in the humid Ontario summer for a day
>Peak inside, see a bunch of jeans
>Take a pair out
>They're designer brand jeans (worth maybe $200-$500 new)
>Look at the back of the jeans, smeared with something brown (I assume shit, not like I looked too closely)
>Call over the guy I'm working with
>We dump the bag
>Literally stuffed full with designer jeans, some still had tags on them
>EVERY. SINGLE. PAIR all covered in shit
>Basically $2000-$5000 worth of new or like-new designer jeans in a bag, shit in, and donated to Value Village
>Tell boss, she just tells us to throw the bag into the dumpster and go back to sorting through bags
>No idea if this was some rich person's idea of a joke or what
free market is a bitch mr.German
atleast we are free to do most things, whereas well you know how shit is in Germany.
That's why you work in fast food OP. Grow some balls.
I have two questions
how thin are you and how big are the crabs?
Good god
implying i was speaking of europe at any point in time in this discussion
>Doesn't go to college because debt

>Proceeds to buy a car he cant afford
>House he'll never pay off
>A girlfriend who wont pay for shit
>suddenly has 3 children
>Medical bills

Yeah bro. College is totally a debt trap
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>working in a high end restaurant
>chef is hard ass german
>decide to fuck with him
>bartender brings up case of apple juice in cans, and leaves it in the kitchen
>snag 3 cans from the case, and crank the oven to 500
>service starts
>it's time
>place cans of apple juice in the oven
>they start to melt and contort, leaking apple juice into the inferno of an oven
>chef walks into the kitchen
>try to contain my laughter as kraut chef opens the oven door to see melting cans of juice
>kraut chef starts yelling "WHY IZ ZE JEWZ IN ZE OVEN, TAKE ZE JEWZ OUT OF ZE OVEN
>entire dining room can hear him
>kraut chef never found out that it was me
>work at 5 star restaurant
>I do food prep and clean dishes
>they keep 10 gallon pots of soups and other sauces for me to put away right next to the cleaning area
>probably around a shot glass wroth of dirty dish water gets into all the sauces
>I go from scrubbing dishes and cleaning out what we call the "shit tray" to putting food away all the time
>this is a 5 star fancy place so I can't imagine what goes on in regular restaurants.
there's just a lot of little shit that goes on that I think 'wow this is unsanitary as fuck'
poutine detected
i understand how disgusting that must have been
and obviously a waste of jeans
but would you say you got a good lul out of it?
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>humid day in Ontario
was it like 8 C?
modern life itself is a debt trap
and a death wish

laughed harder than i should have
well yeah, except..........
> i bought my car from craigslist, privately, paid cash in hand after checking the car out
> i rent a nice little 2 bedroom house near the hospital and about 1 mile from one job, and 1.5 miles from my other job
> my wife actually works 50 hours a week from home doing inbound telemarketing
> no kids here, sterile
> no medical bills, i have health insurance and am relatively healthy for my age

soooooooooooo........... yeah, it is a debt trap, and i know im not the only person it's a trap for either
this didnt happen
Oh yeah we laughed our asses off after work. We were closing up the store and screaming and crying from laughter like teenagers tend to do. It was funny after I had like half an hour to calm down.

Lol it gets stupidly hot in the summers, and we're all so used to the cold that we're terrible at taking temperatures over 30 Celsius.
Fuckin' saved, 6/10 story mark.
"big chief brown streak"

f'n epic

>My sides
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TOP KEKZ, this needs tog go to a YLYL thread

Its called HIPPA nigger

implying it isn't in anyone else's job description when their work place contains a toilet.
>working in restaurant
>customer walks in
>Hi there, welcome, would you like to sit in a booth or a table today?
>be waiter
>someone doesn't tip
>I complain
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>be me delivering to mexican food restaurant at around midnight(im the only one there)
>arrive, prop back door open, and begin delivering
>the monster i drank earlier kicks in and its time to drop a bomb
>think about shutting back door but say fuckit
>go out into lobby in order to get to the bathroom
>near total darkness in lobby, and i cant find the light switch to turn on the lobby lights
>say fuckit and bust out with my cell phone and use the light from the home screen
>make my way to the center of the dining room and i see several life sized statues in various poses
>eventually find the bathrooms and take a shit in the pitchblack bathroom
>the whole time im waiting for an axe murderer to kick open the stall
>finish and then head back to the kitchen to finish the delivery
>make a few trips, and then on my way back to my truck i hear a sustained, 3 second clattering noise that sounds like a whole stack of plates fell and hit the ground
>i feel like noping out of there but of course i cant just leave
>bust out with a knife on my leatherman and go to investigate
>i spend AT LEAST 5 minutes looking for the source of that noise
>could not find a single thing and ill be goddamned if i didnt look around very carefully
>finish up as soon as i could and noped out of there with a quickness

did someone sneak in while the back door was open and knock over something? was it the devil? was the monster laced with acid? ill never know
>working on a lawyer office
>Im the one who counsels people about legal problems (litigation area)
>sent to help some dude in this really fancy part of town
>meet the guy, hes the shadiest looking fucker I have seen in my entire life
>on the entrance to his office there is a painting of 3 dudes in jail (still suspect on of them was him)
>need the secretary to access with her finger print to the bullet-proof office
>was actually a pretty chill dude, but had this whole "Don Corleone" style to him

>be waiter
>someone tips me $100
>still complain because it was only 10% of their bill
I chuckled a bit anon
>Work security on various different places.
>Company basically works on a monthly rotor, meaning you get assigned a placement for a month and then get assigned a different placement once the month is up
>Latest placement is working nights on the site of an abandoned airport where an old slowly rotting airliner is sitting
>From what I have found out some filthy rich arab owns it. He bought it for scrap value some 5 years ago but seems to have forgotten about it since.
>The plane has become a hive for kids trying to get in there to people taking pictures of it
>3 weeks in and have lost count of the amount of times I've caught people trying to get in there.
>The kids usually run away or beg not to tell their parents/call police on them when I confront them
>The worst people to deal with are the fuckers there taking pictures
>"B-b-b-but it not illegal to take pictures"
>Pretty much act like cunts when I tell them to clear off, even though they know they should not be there.
>One night be patrolling and find a guy just brazenly walking around it taking pictures
>Confront him and ask him to leave but he still takes pictures and pretty much ignores me
>Getting pretty pissed at this point
>Try to escort him out but he attempts to throw a punch at me. He misses and loses his balance, stumbling a little. Top Kek
>Had enough of this. Grab his camera off him and smash it on the ground in front of him
>The tears, oh lawd the tears
>Screams a load of abuse at me but I just stand there smiling
>Eventually he fucks off and I continue my patrol loling my tits off.
>Since then I have smashed the cameras of every fucker I have caught in there taking pictures
>Best part is, is that they are in the fenced off area and do not have a leg to stand on seeing as how they are in private property and trespassing
>Love doing this so much that I have applied to stay at this placement for another month.
...and so ends the most retarded and pointless story ever posted

>be waiter
>someone asks me for more ice
>get him ice but go complain about him in the back after

Another Value Village story cause I had a shitload of weird experiences in my 3 years working there...
>Tuesday morning at 8:35 am, store opens at 9 am
>I look outside (the whole storefront is glass)
>Some guy is pressed up against the doors
>I tell a coworker, they tell me to go talk to him
>WTF why me?
>Whatever, I guess I have to deal with him, walk over to the door
>Open the door to talk to him
>This guy starts speaking French (not in Quebec or anywhere that speaks French, in this rich white town with 99% English speakers)
>Call over Jean, this French fuck who came from New Brunswick and speaks French
>Jean talks to this guy for a while
>Jean is brand fucking new so he turns to me and says "Can he use our washroom"
>I'm confused, Jean and this French fellow just talked for literally 5 mins about the washroom?
>I say no (store policy, no one allowed in until we're open (obviously))
>Guy stares daggers at me
>Swears in French (literally screams "TABERNAC TABERNAC")
>I tell Jean to go inside, follow him and lock the door
>He bangs on the door violently and (according to Jean) makes threats about setting a fire, so we call the police
>Cops come, they stand back and talk to him for a bit
>The guy starts speaking perfect English to the police
>He drops his pants and starts pissing on our storefront window
>Police arrest him and take him away
>Me and 2 others have to quickly clean up all the piss before the store opens and customers come
This is why I will never work in the food industry.

>Big Chief Brown Streak

Fucking lel'd

>be waiter
>someone orders a chardonnay with a steak
>get pissed and complain about them in the back
i understood it, that'e enough

>boring story
>you're probably dumb
I worked at the Meat Palace for a while. They have some pretty dark secrets there...
>pics please
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I worked in a lobster plant. Nobody washes their hands after taking a shit, people sneeze on the meat and don't care. If lobster fell on the floor you had to wash it down, for the first few weeks I accidentally washed it down with the solvent solution instead of the distilled water.

No noteworthy stories:

>get called into the walk in freezer
>have to sort the stored meat
>come out 10 minutes later
>Plastic apron is frozen solid
>take it off and shatter it on a table
>that was cool I guess
>go back to the deshelling area

A lot of works drank alcohol and did drugs during breaks. I must admit it made the day go by faster.
I work in an international call center and I just wanted to take this moment to say holy shit Canadians are fucking stupid, especially the ones from Vancouver and Quebec

Maybe its just because everyones so 'nice' to each other up there that nobody is ever expected to have their shit together or have a basic understanding of anything

East Coasters, rude but fine, West Coasters, can be annoying sometimes but fine, Canadians... holy shit.

Doesn't help they all sound like fucking morons, too.
Which drugs

How do I start doing this
>live in apartment
>apartment down the hall from mine always has that distinct NEET aroma coming from it
>get a delivery to that apartment
>as Im driving there thinking to myself Ill finally see this person after having lived there for over a year
>get buzzed in because I dont want this guy to know I live here
>walking down the hallway [NEET AROMA INTENSIFIES]
>knock on door, "Ill be there in a second"
>4-5 minutes go by
>fat fuck (like 300+ lbs) opens the door, breathing hard
>total is like 18 and change, "uhh hang on I have to grab some more money"
>another 4-5 minutes pass
>comes back, is still over a dollar short
>"I-I d-dont know what happened to the rest of m-my money, its cool right"
>no, its not "cool"
>burger joint has a policy of if you don't have all your money you don't get all your food
>explain this policy to him numerous times, he calls and talks to the manager who tells him the same thing
>hes actually breathing harder and sweating at the idea of only getting 3 burgers instead of 4
>finally just hangs up on my manager and says fine and slams the door
>have a 3 day weekend
>come back to work and find out this pathetic NEET piece of shit tried the same thing three more times over the weekend
>gets told we dont want his business
>begin to get prank calls from out of state numbers, he was using a wifi calling app
>we all know its this guy because hes mouth breathing hard as fuck into the phone
>tell my coworkers to call me next time he pranks them and Im off
>get a call from them one day while Im at home saying theyre on the phone with the guy
>go down the hall and listen to what said NEET is saying through his door
>definitely the prank caller
>knock on the door
>hear his fat ass waddling over to the door
>he opens it
>"hey if your on the phone with Anon from Anon's burgers order me a #5"
>his eyes go wide in disbelief
>"I-I-I it's it's not A-Anon's burgers, it's it's.... my friend"
>I yell at the phone "hey Anon, hows work"
>clearly hear my co-worker on the other end
>ask the NEET if hes going to stop or we need to call the police
>continues to deny it, cops get called
>NEET breaks down crying, saying that he was starving and spent all his "allowance" on some kind of anime convention
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Well Quebecers are fucking weird, I think Vancouver is okay but whatever

Another cause it's 3:40 am and I have nothing better to do but type out stories of strange shit that happened at VV

>Stocking the aisles during a big sale, stored is packed to the brim with shoppers
>In women's jeans hanging up some small and medium jeans
>See big woman down in the XL and bigger part of the aisle closely observing a pair of ripped up and bedazzled (not fucking kidding) red jeans
>Looks like a weird kite cause they must have been around size 4XL
>I turn my back and hang up more jeans
>See the woman out of the corner of my eye walking past me to get out of the aisle
>She's wearing the red, ripped up, bedazzled jeans
>I'm done stocking the aisle so I follow her
>She goes over to the women's shirts, puts on a shirt
>I'm staring at her the whole time
>She goes over to the women's jackets and puts on a trench coat
>Walks towards the exit
>Find boss, tell her what I just saw
>Boss runs over to the woman, stops her as she opens the door
>"Her, excuse me, ma'am, you need to take off those items and pay at the front before you can leave"
>The woman starts yelling like a young black woman from the hood, even though she's a 50-something year old ginger white woman
>Boss says she's lying, needs to go pay
>Boss gets mad, says "Go, NOW! Please..."
>Wannabe black woman starts screeching like a Banshee
>Literally a high pitched noise, very loud
>Everyone in the store stops what they're doing and looks over at her
>She keeps on doing this for 5 minutes, we eventually have to just let her go
>We lost $40 cause she got to wear the clothes she stole, and we found her clothes (the clothes she actually wore into the store) stuffed in a couch in the furniture section
Never worked a day in my life. My day is filled with non stop plea?sure. I have won the game of life. Only idiots have to work.
Yeah living in your parents' basement rent free is great, huh?
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nice trips
I work at a McDonald's in middle-class suburbia. We're the cesspool of the area. I have no idea where they're coming from but we have plenty of creepy old people and just strange people as regulars. Even our staff is just a mixed bag of the weird highschool kids, the druggies, and/or the actually mentally retarded. We're so dirty and dysfunctional it's a miracle we're still open.

>the time we had to scoop up maggots from the floor
>the time the floor was literally covered in a pool of grease
>all those hypodermic needles in the parking lot
>the time I went to the bathroom on break and the toilet was filled with blood
>the time some drunk guy stole our signs outside and the shift manager jumps out of the drive-through window and chases him down
>we never change our gloves
>I've seen food made after people have sneezed on it
>with hands that have bleeding, open wounds
>after it hit the floor

The place just takes everything ridiculous in a five-mile radius and compacts it into one greasy heap.
Call the cops maybe?
You idiots.
how have you passed health inspections?
This would make a good tv show
Yeah, sure, let's get the cops involved cause a (literally) crazy lady was bothering us... We didn't care! $40 loss isn't bad at all, and it was a SALE DAY, we didn't want to freak out customers, cause who would come in with a cop car outside? We just sent her on her way after she didn't calm down, wayyyy easier.
Where do you live? The states? South or North or a Midwest or one of the coasts?
Op i laughed my ass out of your story lel
>"Im on 30 minute break."
>I don't care go clean it.
What a faggot you are.
Change your fucking job.
Why didn't you clcok back in, idiot? If you do work they legally have to pay you, stupid fellow Americans don't even know their fucking rights.
Clean everything up on the day of the inspection then go back to the regular routine when they leave.
It seems so. They make such a huge deal out of corporate inspections at least. Managers stay all night before just to try to impress them.

We're so understaffed I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. One day they're all angry because they didn't have enough people to get work done fast enough, then the next they yell at us because our reports said we aren't fast enough. I almost died when I overheard the general manager telling our hiring manager not to hire people. I should really quit.
Nice copypasta faggot, I was in the thread this was posted in weeks again.
I too remember my days of being 13 years old with a computer and a right hand.
> Work at a movie store
> Get asked to do inventory in store's "Hentai Vault."
> Almost done inventory list, decide to sit down to check the last shelf.
> Customer (we nickname him "My-Hime Mike) comes into the vault.
> This guy is stereotypical Otaku. Overweight, doesn't shower, holes in anime shirt, fingerless gloves and Ash Ketchum hat.
> Me: Short, cute, animal-hat-wearing girl.
> Next to the Hentai, is all of our anime shows for sale. My-Hime Mike decides to sit next to me, blocking my way out (remember, this guy is big! Like Snorlax big. )
> Time passes by, just finish the last of my list when suddenly, dude starts grunting. Loud.
> "Ugh..mmmhhhuuuurgh"
> I finally ask him if he's okay, hoping to ask in a moment if I can sneak past him
> Replies with a "nope", starts scratching his sweaty crotch. Proceeds to THEN say that he is suffering from a crotch rash.
> MFW he says that, almost choke back from mental image.
> My-Hime Mike then proceeds to ask me to help him up.
> "Oh HELLS NAH." I'm actually a pretty nice person, so I extend out my hand, shaking a little at the high level of cringe I'm having.
> My-Hime first grabs my arm (the one he used to scratch his rash) , brushing his hands against the side of my tit. Then proceeds to brush down my arm, holding my hand, as I'm struggling to help his fat ass up.
> "Oh God..help me."
> Get his fat-ass up. Thanks me tremendously.
> Smile nervously, running out of the vault to the bathroom to cover my arm in soap, rubbing vigorously. Tell co-workers.
> Avoided by co-workers for the rest of the shift.
> Never did hentai inventory ever again.
This sick fuck who probably regulars this site comes into the ER because he swallowed a razorblade. I take his xrays and it turns out that he the razorblade is stuck in his throat but that he also had bottle caps and quarters in his intestines. Straightened paperclips that had been shoved underneath his skin and several wood screws that were shoved into his groin
ok used to work for a printing press they made boxes and shit
> was a stripper at the time( its the position of the job in that type of work)
>was very socialble and everyone liked me
>was late most of the time
>shit went on for a while before i cought attention from manager
>he was an old hippy stoner (smoked bunk shit)
> one day i come 30 min late with out notice
>fucker is waiting for me at the time machine
>thinking to my self gonna get fired
>starts giving me an ear full
>i didnt think i reached into my pocket
> gave him a nug of some snow cap meds
> he shuts up and smiles
> tells me dont be late unless i have more of the stuff
> every time i after that if i was late more than 30 min, hed be waiting by the time card,
>didnt mind and never got written up
>best job i had
>Walk into an American wallmart.
>People stick.
>Everything is cheaply made.
>I want to kill myself.

Any other stories?
That's federal law, coulda been a fat ass settlement too.
that sounds awful
although when you said he started grunting i expected the fucker to be jerkin it right next to you
Yeah, that just screamed midwest to me for some reason


>Friday night, an hour before closing, dead quiet in the store
>A group of 6 guys come in with those horse head masks on
>The boss isn't around and it's close to Halloween (so a lot of masks are being worn in the store) so we don't tell them to take their masks (but we should have)
>They get carts and casually stroll around the store, going through each and every aisle
>All of us staff are watching them cause it's a pretty funny sight
>They finish up going through every aisle after about 45 minutes
>They all come to the one open cash register which I'm working at
>The first guy starts unloading his cart
>All horse stuff
>He buys 10 stuffed horses, various sizes, and an embroidered pillow w/ a pack of horses on it
>He pays with cash, next guy comes up, he also has horse stuff
>Second guy buys 22 shirts (both male and female, adult and child and baby clothes) with horses on them
>Third guy buys every book about horses we have, from childrens books to informative books on how to care for horses
>Fourth guy buys a hat with a horse on it, a painting of a horse, and two equestrian magazines from 5 years ago
>Fifth guy and sixth guy both buy horse costume related Halloween stuff
>They all are very polite and leave
>They didn't steal or break anything, still don't know why exactly they did what they did
Pics of the affected tit or it didn't happen.
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>Be a front line medic
>return to FOB after a particularity heinous patrol
>also following a month on an outpost
>also having only eaten soon to be expired MRE's for that entire month (they do expire)
>have only 1 hour to eat or sleep or whatever
>decide you have to have real food instead of "tortellini bars"
>have your battle watch your rifle and walk to DFAC
>arrive at back door for after hours chow
>get turned away by the "high speed" duty sergeant for being out of uniform
>point to boots and honestly indicate the blood and brain matter of no less than 4 dead individuals
>further suggest for him to grab it for you if it is too unacceptable for you to walk the additional 10 feet
>study his face and see only annoyance
>leave hungry

--weeks later---
>similar situation, 1 hour, haggard, even more starving
>get in line for main entrance
>reach door after an excruciating 3 minute line
>get a fucking mound of food
>sit walk to table
>begin to sit
>alarm for incoming mortar fire
>internally scream at the heavens WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!
>actively grab fist fulls of chicken and eggplant
>walk orderly to the exit of the most armored building on the fucking FOB and into open space
>reach door and get chewed out by a Major for taking food out of the DFAC
>continue chewing
>have squad roll up and literally pull me in vehicle to now run QRF
>still chewing
>anime convention
oh god my sides
green text newfag detected!
>work in call center for DirecTv
>do tier 2 technical support
>customer calls in screaming in my ear.
>thick southern accent
>keeps yelling something about a fire, nearly incomprehensible
>"I put y'alls cable in muh wall socket and it done burst into fires!"
>ask what cable it was
>"it was tha H D M One cable"
>oh HDMI
>he put the hdmi cable in the wall socket, the tv caught fire and he doused it with water
>everything he has under his TV was ruined, including his xbox huge.

He tried to file a damage claim against us. He escalated the issue to like 6 different supervisors. You never truly understand how retarded people are until you work in a call center.
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> Working at this restaurant (boss is a crabby asshole)
> Costumer asks me if he can get a couple of ice cubes (Why didn't he get them in the first place? Seemed a bit fishy)
> I take his glass and put ice in it and come back
> He takes a drink and I can't hold in the laughter
> "What did you do to my drink"
> I...
> "You what?!?!"
> I...
> You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and I only put in one
ill show you what happened to me some nignog attempted to rob my place of business

boo fucking hoo you cunt

"omg i make 8 bucks an hour doing a shit job a stupid 12 year old inbred retard can do, my 30 minute break cant be interrupted to clean up a mess that depends on our customers happiness aka revenue" learn2economics union fucking faggot. unions give lasy assholes a reason to charge 30 dollars an hour to do a job thats worth less than minimum wage, fuck them and fuck you
try harder nigger.
Reminds me of my 2 buds who works at a casino and valet. 18 and 19, they both get cars that reek of smoke or other weird shit.

One car had a condom sitting on the seat where the driver was. Another that tipped them in change

>Fucking change tippers
idk why but the fact that he cant seem to get over the counter and the fact that he tried to rob you guys in sandals is just funny to me
Life is hard.
It's even harder if you're stupid.
Stop being stupid.
there is a draw mounted under the desk he actually got it open and stuffed about 100 dollars into his pants as i dragged him across
Wow bro
You seem like the ultimate badass
>work at beer store in ontario
>working cash like regular.
>regular comes in (he buys 4 old english a day) and comes to my till because my co-workers hate him
>he orders his late afternoon old english and then proceeds to lean in right beside me
>this guy is one of those like 300 pound tards that you had in high school so i kinda just freeze
>he then asks really qietly
>so ar-are you going to gay pride this year?
>to which i reply
>uh, i dont. Really like to leave my hosue. So no.
>he goes "oh, oh ok" and i go and get his beer for him

after i got his beer he walked up to the first black guy he saw yelled JAAAAMAAAAAAAANNNNNNN and gave him a highfive. The black guy had no fucking clue what was going on.
nah just australian
You guys act like it takes a million dollars to get a Bachelor's Degree...I've got a B.S. in Civil Engineering Technology from a public state school for around $55K. NEVER worked a day during college and always had money. Took 5 years to finish (changed degree halfway through).

I got a job straight out of school working for the state transportation department as an engineering technician level 1 making $45K per year. I devoted one pay check out of every month to paying off my debt and had it paid off within about four years. Now I'm debt free at 27 years old making $45K a year. There's two more paygrades I can work towards and will max out at nearly $60K. I work indoors 90% of the time..The other time is spent out in the field or along the highway where I inspect bridges. I get an hour for lunch..paid vacation plus state and federal holidays not to mention flextime I build up throughout the year to use whenever I want. Medical benefits with 20-year early retirement. My plan is to retire when I'm 45 and start drawing my pension then get another job on top of it. At 45 I'll be bringing in nearly $90,000 a year..When I retire in another 20 years assuming the state doesn't go bankrupt I'll have made nearly $3.5 million from the state. With my 401K I'll have another $2 million in there to have when I want to pull it out. I'm not having kids so all that money will be my wive's and mine. All of this in addition to her money that will be pretty similar as I met her while in college and we graduated together. My parents didn't have two pennies to rub together but here I will have millions.

Or I guess I could have worked at McDonald's all my life. The United States may not have free secondary education but if you are willing to work for it you can apply for it. The FAFSA is an amazing thing.

The fucking jew liberals in my state just raised the minimum wage to 15 dollars an hour in the biggest metro area in the state. (King county/Seattle) Some shit for brains 16 year old working part time at McDonalds will be making 15 dollars an hour. So fuck you and your shit talking, jew.
Used to work at WM but my coworker was so unbearable that I had to get out to keep my sanity intact
>inb4 brony
Laugh and deny it. I bet she drunk the whole thing anyway so no evidance
A little background for you fags, I currently work at Chuck E. Cheese, i'm a Game Room Attendant, that basically means that I "attend" to the broken games. Mangaer started hitting on me so i started hitting back.

>Be working on skiball (This fucking gay plug fell out and will not go back in.)
>One of my managers who has been flirting with me asks for my help in the back
>Head to the back a tad disgruntled because that plug
>She asks me to get above our "walk-in" (Which is a walk in freezer"
>The walk-in goes above the drop cieling in the back, have to get a ladder to get up there
>Finally up there and i ask what she needs
>inb4 tree fiddy
>She wants me to hand her a fuck ton of these heavy ass boxes
>I stand up to walk towards some of the boxes in the back
>can see all the drop ceiling everywhere (This is almost like an attic)
>manager comes up there sneaks behind me and pushes me down
>she laughs, and im a tad pissed because i could have fell throught the cieling,
>Manager trips
>She is now on top of me
>She leans in
>She really gets into it
>puts my hand on her breast
>Fondling in a kiddy resteraunt never felt so good.
>She takes off her pants and panties
>Enter The Finger.
>Fingered my boss on top of the freezer
>Fast forward a week or so later (Today)
>Find her panties up there
>Tell her and give them to here
>She blushes
>Hasn't talked to me since
>tl;dr Fucked my boss 10 feet off the ground in a kiddie resteraunt

well I know where I'm going to go shopping
>report released Tuesday by The Federal Reserve Bank.....

LOL a jew report begging you to speed money at jew schools, no no no
its called /b/ nigger
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Shit, where in Ontario? I know someone who sounds a lot like this, he's always in my grandmother's neighbourhood for some reason, he's a retard but jeez it's funny to watch him act like an idiot...


>There's a guy in the tri-town area who wears the same outfit and bunny ears every single day (but at Christmas he wears Reindeer antlers)
>He's always out at the mall and in the McDonalds, playing chess against himself or just walking around
>He comes into our shop one day
>Cool, he's weird but a nice guy so whatever
>He passes two teenage boys
>They start harassing him
>Bunny ears man is a smart British man, so he has a witty response to every insult they hurl at him
>They get physical with him, like pushing him around and trying to grab his ears
>They can't reach his bunny ears cause he's a tall fucker
>I'm the only one seeing this shit so I have to call my boss over the PA system
>I go over to try to intervene
>The taller of the two teenagers actually manages to rip his bunny ears off his head
>They run out of the store after doing this
>Bunny ears man just reaches into his bag, pulls out another pair of bunny ears, and puts them on
>I find out he literally carries an extra pair of ears just in case
>We apologize for what happened, he says it's totally fine and he shops like nothing happened
>Life goes on like normal

<--- Pic related, Bunny Ears Man.
>dont really care about my job anymore
>homeless man comes in and gives me a random assortment of tokens from arcades, and 1 from chuck-e-cheese
>i give him his beer and just say i didnt notice they were fake because they look just like real coins.
the GTA
and oshawa is just fucking full of crazy people. Went there for school.
Whitby native here... Probably thinking of the same guy... That's funny. He's harmless but definitely weird as hell.
True. I live in Whitby but I love driving around Oshawa cause I see crazy shit. I love bunny ears man though, he's great.
How did you not burst out in laughter?
Mmm let me tell you something. I worked in a quasi-international call centre (canadian, but service to americans) and let me tell you, americans who call customer car/tech support have got to be the stupidest fucks to ever fucking live.
As someone who co-manages a callcenter for a large ISP, This is very true.

Wait until you're in management and you'll realise your staff turn into customers when the come to you.

But you had no problem preparing her items which are not sold at your store? Whoppers a Burger King product, you work at a McDonalds..
this is fucking gold!
Not speaking for the guy who posted, but I worked at a Wendys for like 3 months (shit job) and people came in all the time asking for food from other restaurants, we basically just translated it to our products and made them. Like people coming in asking for an Oreo McFlurry so we made them a vanilla frosty with Oreo pieces in it.
Thats a life time difference not yearly.

Only in america.
When I'm finished I'll be at ~30.000€ debt, which is okay.
I'll just stay one more year in my rathole, pay it off and then I can start to live.
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Hah. Fastfood restuarants. Try Dollar General. The managers treat employees like complete crap no matter what you've accomplished in life and customers have an attitude. Humanity at it's very worst. Hundreds of stories.
then share them nigger
Oscar Tosso?
What >>553061863 said

did you take that bunny man pic?
Did you ever learn to stand up for yourself?
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>Be a cook at olive garden
>Crackhead mexican dishwasher smokes cigars in dish machine
>Someone orders their noodles "al dente" ( the perfect noodle )
>Cook noodles how i always do
>Not a single fuck was given
I hate call centre managers. Not the ones who worked the phones, but the ones hired straight from some dipshit management class with no experience. I don't know how the law is where you are, but where i am, if a person asks to speak with a supervisor, they are legally entitled to, you cannot deny. I don't know how many times i have been told by two of these dipshit managers that they won't take the call, or they ask things like what the problem is. I don't fucking know, i got some guy saying he want's to speak to a manger, and only a manger on the line, it's a federal offence to refuse the call fucker.
Nope, but I guess I stole it from Oscar though (http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/photo-contest/2011/entries/88088/view/)

Even more:

>Guy in his late 30s comes in and looks at men's clothes
>I'm working behind the jewelry counter, it's dead quiet in the store
>He comes up to me and looks at me with puppy dog eyes
>Asks if I can give him some fashion advice, he needs a woman's opinion cause he's trying to dress to impress for a date
>I say sure, lock up the jewelry cases and walk over to men's clothes with him
>Spend a good 15 mins looks at clothes with him, we pick out a few nice outfits (nice for cheap Value Village clothes, so not all that nice)
>He goes to try on the clothes
>He calls out "Are you ready to judge?"
>He emerges from behind the curtain, naked from the waist down
>I turn away quickly, he starts creepily laughing and spinning his dick around like a helicopter
>I go to get my boss to deal with him, by the time we get back he has left
>He left all of the clothes but the shirt he tried on, and he left behind $20 to pay for the $8 dress shirt
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>Worked at a McDolans for a month in between jobs
>Last Shift and im working till, its lunch time so Super Busy
>Manager is also working tills due to Staff Shortage
>HamBeast Woman comes in and Orders about £60 worth of food for her and her Grunting tribe of 3
>Decides to cancel and change some of her order with Manager
>This pisses his fat ass off greatly, He becomes visibly red and irate
>Takes him about 15 mins to get all her order ready
>HamBeast woman becomes Mad As Fuck after 5 mins of waiting
>Finally her Food is ready and Manager gives her the Fatty Gains
>Hambeast Snatches the bags like food is going out of Fashion
>Manager mumbles under his breath "Yeah, Dont Come Back"
>Hambeast hears something is said and Asks "u wat m8"
>Manager stays Silent and i pipe up and say, he said "Yeah dont come back"
>Dont Give a fuck as its my last shift
>Hambeast loses her shit.
>Throws her order at Manager, comes behind tills and spits in his face
>Orders him to ring head office
>My shifts finishes 2 mins after this happens
>Gets cashed up whilst all this is going on
>Clocks out and Manager is sat with police with a bleeding nose explaining what happened
>I leave and go home after refusing to defend manager to police

>>Mon Visage When
on a scale of 1 to 10 how nice did he look?
The shirt looked nice on him, it matched his eyes very well.

wowe thates rudde
now are you sure his flailing cock isnt clouding your judgement?
This is why England is best, because even if we get a shit tonne of debt, we don't have to pay it off until we earn over £20k, and even after ten years, they strike it off anyway.

Still, kinda shows why our economy is fucked
Hmm, now that you mention it...
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A tiny little splatter? Cry more, retard
Yeah I have nurses in my family and they do the same shit and they don't go on 4chan to complain about how much worse it is than minimum wage, a lot off them have worked minimum wage and they would rather be nurses because helping people is what they love to do, and 40-60k a year is damn good money. Maybe you chose your job for the wrong reasons.
Ausfag here, I have a similar argument with my friends all the time. I dropped out of school in year 10 and started an apprenticeship. I own my own business now and earn more than them without all the university debts they have piling up. All they say to me is you only have a trade skill, no degrees and shit. Fuck them, they can pay of their degrees for the rest of their lives, and I'll earn more anyway
How much does tuition cost in the first place, though? Just wondering, I'm Canadian and paid around $6500 tuition whenever necessary including books and other fees.
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Awesome even if fake

>implying that either of your shitty countries come anywhere near the godliness of Scandinavia (Sweden excluded, because fuck Sweden).
That pasta is always tasty
I'll come the fuck on anything, you name it.
It is here, too. Well, our equivalent is breach of the consumer's rights at any rate.
Having been on the phones and started from there, I know the plight and I'm pretty sympathetic towards our CSRs.

There is an absolute division of cliques among senior management between those who have been on the phones and those who haven't /b/ro, and there always will be.
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Here it is.
>dat abcess

Bitch need a doctor for that shit.

Remind me of one of my favourite videos for grossing out newfriends: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBYmiqad_-M
Once at a birthday party for one of my cousin's at Chuck E. Cheeses I bearhugged Chuck E. like 2ft off the ground and jiggled them around like a child. If that was any of you I am sorry.
>tfw live in a civilized country so stuff like OP's story has never ever happened in our store
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>tfw I live in Sierra Leone so stuff like OP's story has never ever happened in our store because we don't have a store cause we're poor
God damn I saw someone do that to a Chuck E once, shit was funny as fuck.
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Or he's just a rich fuck
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I worked at the OG, just quit not long ago
>worked as a server
>busy ass lunch shift on a Sunday
>old ass lady and what seemed like her 4 adult children at a round for 5
>lady starts legit choking on chicken alfredo
>her kids or whoever go ape shit try to save her life
>whole restaurant is silent
>i was in mid stride carrying a tray, 4 entrees
>lady coughs/belches out the deadly chicken alfredo violently
>so violently, it launches her dentures clear out of her mouth across the aisle towards another horrified table
>lady goes all comatose, I literally think she had a heart attack at the same time
>the table was in such a location that an entire section of the restaurant couldn't get refills/food/breadsticks until the ruckus was over
>ambulance arrives, they cart this lady away
>didn't move an inch the whole time
>two five cheese zitis and two fett alfredos got cold
>mfw I ate that shit in the break room
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>land a shitty sales job doing door to door sales
>told a shift goes for 6 hours
>prior to starting get told it's 6 hours on the field, 3 hours training everyday prior
>quickly find out that we're expected about 15 minutes early, and before the van picks every team member up and gets back to base it can be anything between 20-60 minutes.
>Essentially it's a 10 hour working day on your feet non-stop
>Have to pay for own uniform
>Have to pay to recharge own ipad (software, ~$30p/w)
>Make fuck all sales first week
>Make 2 the second week and retainer ends
>Purely on commission now
>Get spat on, sworn at and threatened on a daily basis
>Fuck it, decide to persevere
>My pitch gets better and confidence with objections improves
>Start to make decent sales
>Start to get good. Decent coin coming in
>Start to get really good. Beat channel managers record.
>Never miss a single day of work (policy)
>Work for 3 weeks straight in the rain with a respiratory infection
>Keep this up for half a year
>Longest standing sales rep at this point
>Get promoted to manager
>Run my own team, train my own employees
>Manage morons twice my age
>Put up with lost, insecure, entitled, crying teenagers like 95% of the faggots in this thread
>Get paid base wage, personal commission and overrides
>My team starts to get good
>Serious fucking coin coming in now
>Make anywhere between $1500 (bad week) and $3000 good week
>Become top team
>Start pushing company owner to let me start my own channel interstate
>He tells me there is no room to expand and I'm literally at the highest position

Y'all are fucking lazy faggots who expect work to be a bunch of fun and games with lovely pay.

The people who I worked with worked their fucking asses off to get where they were. Not one single lazy person EVER made any cash.

All you faggots complaining about shit on the floor or rude customers can enjoy your mediocre jobs at just above minimum wage for the rest of your lives.
>be shift manager at McDonalds
>overhear random fatass yelling at one of the crew
>come over and ask what the problem is
>fatass backs away from the counter with soaked pants
>1st thought: ok, your drunk ass pissed itself, how is that our problem?
>asked him to leave 3 times before giving up and calling the cops
>fatass continues to act all tough, telling us to get a manager on the phone who hasn't worked there in over a year
>other manager tells him this
>fatass tells other manager "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT. I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!!"
>mfw other manager is no more than half this guy's size
>my boss comes out to distract, fatass gets in his face while boss talks to him troll-faced
>cops finally come and smell the booze
>bring in the forklift
>after all is said and done, find out what happened
>fatass went through drive-thru so drunk he spilled all 4 of his large drinks on his own lap and blamed us for it
it's HIPAA
and pics of unidentifiable feces do not violate HIPAA
>Be line cook
>Work at middle-high end restaurant
>Work alongside 6.8/10 blond chick
>Said chick has been chasing my dick for about a month
>Have strict "do not fuck fellow employees" policy in my life, and she also has a BF
>Closing up late one night
>Me and her left, slow night and everyone but the bartender is gone
>Go into walk-in to put shit from line away
>Hear door open behind me, then close
>Turn around to see blondie
>We exchange looks
>"I'm quitting in a week" she says as she unbuttons the top button on her chef coat.
>"So that takes care of one problem" she unbuttons another button, and I'm reminded of the fact that she doesn't wear anything under her coat
>Reminds me of this every day we work together
>"And we won't have any problems with my boyfriend if you just don't talk about it"
>Last button comes off chef coat
>Nice C's, puffy nips, perky from the cold of the walk-in
>"this is happening, anon. Enjoy it"
>Pants hit the floor
>Apparently she doesn't wear panties to work either
>Will to resist evaporates
>We fuck on walk-in floor
>Gonna blow
>She jumps off, gobbles my knob
>Pop a load in her mouth
>She grins
>Spits my seed into her palm
>Wipes palm clean on inside rim of chowder pot
>Cum chowder
>"fuck this place anyway"

Good times in the food service industry. We probably fucked in most of the rooms in that restaurant during her last week, and she did something terrible with every load I put in her.
Good detective skills there, chief.
>complains about shitty job
>puts down people for complaining about shitty job

I bet you're indian
Not complaining. Pointing out the ways in which the job sucks. Willingly accepted these and persevered. Indians make $0 in sales. You bet wrong.
> dies at age 35
>"But at least I never went to.college"
Not sure why but i feel really satisfied after watching videos like that.

what in the fuck
I work for Target. Honestly, I have few complaints, the work environment seems well above Walmart-tier, there isn't much infuriating bullshit and my superiors don't seem to be abusive or manipulative. I actually like coming to work 60% of the time because my coworkers are pretty chill and the environment isn't depressive.

That being said, it's still retail, and I'm looking for something else, but I would recommend it if you really need a job, are searching for your first job or a part time second job, or want to get out of a really shitty retail job and are only qualified for really shitty retail jobs.
This is pasta, good pasta but still is pasta. Shame on all the newfags that don't recognise it.
>0$ in sales
Have you never heard of Indians owning convenient stores? Sales out the ass,
That's retail.
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work as cook
>like it
>we listen to Metallica and zepplin all day
>work with pretty bro tier co workers
>bunch of qt.3.14 waitress
>nothing wrong with my job except wearing a uniform
You're a nurse bro, not a fuckin doctor. Calm down
My enjoyment of strawberry milk has diminished somewhat.
Work with uncle
>Yells a lot, like, if he can't yell at you, he'll yell atthe wall, I've seen him do it
>Has 7 sons, all of them quit and tell me to quit
>Took his shit for three years, three fucking years
>All this time I'm working cash and for literally chips and dip
>Starts telling me how shithouse his sons are, and how they are ingrateful for him (He paid off their uni etc etc
>He gives me his BMW X5
Like, literally one day he walked in and asked me "Hey you're 4 cyl is good on petrol and is manual yeah? Well, my X5 is manual too, do you like it? Yeah, its pretty nice aye, bet you wish you had a beemer? Could you sign this paper, here's $200 for the next fill up, its a little different"
>All of a sudden starts treating me different
>He owns about 7 businesses throughout the Hills District in NSW alone
>like 8 more around NSW
>One day he calls me up frantically
>Offered to sell me his Merc AMG for $500
>Can't legally drive it and just buy it
>Weeks go by
>Anon, I'm offering you to buy my whole livelihood, everything I have owned in Australia, if you purchase them for 100k (LOL I've seen his bank account, he's prolly tricking me)
>Say yes
>Tells me I have until whenever to give him the money
>Gives me $50, 000 and a contract that I could keep 10% of all his properties values, but I have to send him the rest (That is after paying them off)
>Goes to Lebanon
>Working the usual shift, just got my uncle (An accountant) to deal with everything else as always
>Crazy 20something year old Lebanese bimbo walks in screaming and throwing shit around
>Turns out he married her, fucked her sister, she tried divorcing him to get all his shit , but she ended up with like a few hundred thousand dollars instead of his 55, 000, 000 worth of businesses, investments and estates

>Never got to drive that AMG tho, sold it to a frend for half the Blue Book stupidly.

Also, she bought him the AMG and he gave me their rings, sold the lot for close to 125k
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