The best Green text WIN story gets steam games @ $20 limit.
Start your own greentext thread.
Link thread here.
I will post Oc to claim id in all participants threads.
??Winner gets loot.
> be 17
> hanging out with girlfriend
> we start to watch frozen (appearently she likes the movie)
> 30 mins in love is an open door is playing
> she starts to cuddle with me
> me takes her shirt off
> she takes my pants off
> i take her bra off
> she takes my underwear off
> i take her pants off
> see a fish tail where the legs should be
> tfw i almost fucked a fish
Repost your greentext here, fuck my rule
You got the quads right?
All my stories are full of fail and awkward.
I guess I could post about the first time I had sex with my current girlfriend. That was pretty sweet.
>What the flip did thee just flipping gabble >about me, thine miniscule bitch? I’ll have >thee know I bested the most prestigious >jousting class in the whole of Camelot, and I >hath been involved in numerous secret >marches on behalf of his Majesty, King Arthur, >and I hath over 300 confirmed victories on >horseback. I am trained in castle of Guerrilla >warfare and I am indeed the highest ranking >joustee in the entire land of Great Britannia. >Thee are nothing to me but another false >crossbearer. I will joust thine shambles with >precision the likes of which hath never been >observed in the King’s lands, mark my flipping >words! Thou think thou can escape retribution >by shouting that hogwash at me from afar? I >implore thee to think again, peasant. As we >converse I am contacting my secretive >network of knights across the realm and thine >footsteps are being traced right now, so thou >best prepare thineself for the storm, >pig-maggot! The storm that wipes out the >pathetic little thing thou call your armour. Thou >art a flipping dead man. I can be anywhere, >anytime, and I can kill thou in over seven >hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare >lance. Not only am I extensively trained in >mounted combat, but I hath access to the >entire arsenal of the Kings Royal Army, and I >shall use it to its full extent to wipe your >miserable derriere off the face of the realm, >thou miniscule feaces. If only thou could have >foreseen what unholy retribution your little >“clever” challenge was about to bring down >upon thee, maybe thou would have held thee >flipping tongue. But thou couldn’t, thou didn’t, >and now thee art paying the price, you >goddamn fool. I shall shit fury all over thou >britches and thee will drown in it. Thou art >flipping dead, child.
>be me 5y/o
>randomly walking around the house
>go to a window where my mom was
>she didnt see me
>i put my finder next to the window
>she didnt see that i put my hand there
>she finishes her shit and closes the window
>my thumb gets squashed
>drive me to the hospital
>the doctor tries his best
here is muh greentext:
>be in hospital
>mother giving birth
>nurse holding her hand
>PUSH PUSH PUSH
>finally the baby comes out
>sudden rage flowing through me
>yell at newborn
>NEWFAG UNDERAGE B&
>TITS OR GTFO
>smash baby at the wall
>post infant gore on /b/
>wtf do i do
>cool op knows
>gives me steam funds
>i jack off
>first ever skyrim playthrough
>level 12 barbarian
>hear dragon fighting music
>continues for ages, can't see dragon anywhere
>suddenly the corpse of a mammoth hits the ground in front of me
>another mammoth falls behind me
>dragon is fighting legion of flying mammoths
>what is happening
>use dragonrend to get dragon to the ground
>dragon lands, mammoths in hot pursuit
>suddenly, more dragons
>mammoths getting rekt, thinking this is a bit unfair
>see red dots on map behind me
>about 20 fucking giants
>they join mammoths and kill dragons
>everything turns to me
>be at friend house
>we're alone in her bedroom
>we start talking
>the conversation leads to us taking our clothes off
>we start touching each other
>hear something in the hallway
>we keep on going
>mom enters the room
>we look both at her
>we keep doing it
>mom yells "what the hell are u doing"
>i say SHUT THE FUCK BITCH, AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH
>she goes away
>keep on going
>after 2 min mom comes back with a SANDWICH
>be freshman in college
>first time smoking weed
>already trashed on whiskey
>wodner down to a frat house
>post up outside and pretend to be security
>brothers let me and eventually leave
>asking people for IDs for about an hour
>whole time drinking hard liquor
>2 cops come up the stairs and ask to come in
>ask them for IDs
>"We are the fuckign cop, we are going to come in!"
>i say "riddle me this ..." then proceed to puke on one of them
they stagger back in shock
>run my drunk ass back to dorm
>shave my head and beard
>see cops every day patrolling the campus
>never recognize me
>also that day they never entered frat house
>i saved bunch of idiots from problems
>mfw this capatcha is faith
Im not allowed to say who is winning, 22 more minutes =)
ohfuck, it was true
Oh fuck, nice Captcha
Nope, gotta be OC
I hitchhiked from Sheffield UK to Split, Croatia for charity a couple of months ago. Dude called Tommy picked us up on the first day at Maidstone services outside London. He told us this story, pretty much word for word
>my mate's a right sex pest
>see girl in wheelchair
>she had elephantitis of the legs or something
>bet him £20 to fuck her
>she gets pregnant
>he now pays her £600 a month child support
>she pushes the baby round plymouth in her mobility scooter
>it's the funniest thing I've ever seen
>pint was fosters
>wasn't even stella
our faces when
PS: The winner better post proof that OP delivered
>dont know what it was like to be naked with other kids
>at a babysitter with other kids
> ask them " hey guys what would it be like to be naked in the same room"
> we all get naked
> we all run into this room with a fuckton amount of toys
> we start to push each other on top of toys
>get pushed onto a kid
> dicks are touching
> arms are heavy
> spaghetti falling out of my booty
> babysitter walks half naked and forces us to get back in our clothes.
> tfw she didnt ask us to put our pee pees in her booty
doing another b/c bored
>playing Raven Sword 2
> in city need gold
>Break into someone's house
>dudes standing there sword in hand
>ready to go
>Whose house was this?
> Go to guild house for quest
>Zedd Owes a debt to us
> I tell them
>Zedd's already dead baby
>be 15 or so
>be playin vidya
>suddenly 8/10 says she wants to play with me
>she says she wants to come over the next day for more gamin
>she comes over
>hot as fuck
>she sits closer to me every 5 mins or so
>eventually just touching me
i was really confused she liked me
TacoDelivery on steam
My shitty OC
>Mum and little brother sleeping
>Everyone else is out
>Look for video to watch to kill the boredom
>Grab random shit
>Put it in
>Sit for half an hour watching a nurse getting fucked on a bed by her patient and a doctor
>No idea what was going on but I was enthralled
>Turn it off
>Go play with my firetruck
Turns out my grandparents and uncle were outside on the patio. Saw it all.
Was made fun of for years after that.
>The best Green text WIN story gets steam >games @ $20 limit.
>Start your own greentext thread.
>Link thread here.
>I will post Oc to claim id in all participants >threads.
>??Winner gets loot.
>stand in line for StarCraft 2
>wait 6 hours to get in and buy
>be first in line
>they say its a contest
>have to choose between 12 different SC2 boxes
>if I choose the one with hidden coin I win it
>think a while
>choose nr 8
> mfw its the one with the coin
> almost heartattack
> get free game
> make 11 other gamers dissapointed
> Win win
>riding my uncle's motorcycle
>see burning orphanage
>be in hospital with burns healing and a burnt wallet
>typing this message bored wanting game
>See hot girl
>Don't get a good look at her face
>Successfully get laid with her
>She brushes her hair away
>See her face
>It's Inspector Gadget
>Inspector gadget says "go go gadget sacrifice"
>Dicks come from everywhere
>Restrained by penises
>Proceed to have soul sucked out by Inspector Gadget
Ugh, fine. But you faggots better appreciate me typing this shit out.
>Be serving with Royal Marines in afghanistan
>I'm my units designated marksman
>doing as we normally do, patrolling and shit
>start receiving incoming
>OPEN THE DOOR
>GET ON THE FLOOR
>trying to pinpoint where it's coming from
>small village to our north
>denied, no fast movers near by
>Lieutenant orders unit to provide suppressive fire whilst a small team advances on village
>get picked to be part of team
>advance on village, stack up outside building
>hear gunfire from other side of compound
>tell buddy to go check it out, i'll get this one
>when suddenly it's sand nigger mcgee and the retard 3
>except there were only 3 of them, not 4
>so really it was sandnigger mcgee and the retard 2
>Mag dump into two of them, rifle runs dry
>go to reach for sidearm, sand nigger fucking charges at me
Royal Marines get taught some sick stuff in training to neutralise people at close range. I can 100% assure you this isn't bullshit.
>got him pinned, he has me grabbed by the throat
>starting to have trouble breathing as he tightens his grip
>nah fuck this i've had enough
>grab him by the throat
>dig hand in behind adams apple
>pull with every ounce of fucking strength I have.
>tear out his windpipe and then shoot him with my sidearm (mercy, wouldn't want the guy to suffer.)
>walk outside to link up with the rest of the team
>"you alright mate? was there any- what the fuck man"
>realise i'm still holding the dudes windpipe
in 14 mins ill read and announce
FUCK so much to read, I was gonna dump oc (OP's git game) pics but i needa read.
she works at the radio shack just down the street from me just met her 4 days ago. Haven't fucked her but got a nude =)
Last Oc for a sec, gotta catch up on reading to determine winner
I'll tell you my story...
I've lost my father to the dark force.
Later, i realize my father was Dark Vader
And now i cant FAP because i lost my Hand.
Its out of these 3, Post your wishlist for me to get you shit while im picking the winner
>play with 3girls and 2boys outside
>girl decides to play funny game
>girl said at first pull ur dicks out
>kissed my dick
>her dad saw everything
>her dad talks to my dad
>my dad laughed at me
She now hates me for some reason
BTW I'm 16 now
terraria and fallout 3 are the only i care most for really
>Be 20-something loser.
>Meet a girl off the internet.
>We have all the same interests and beliefs. May as well ask for a picture, she's already a bro, but she'll probably be an uggo.
>Gives me a picture of her face.
>HOLY SHIT, she's gorgeous. Glasses, green eyes, freckles, rosy cheeks, gorgeous smile. She's beautiful.
>Alright, then the pictures probably aren't of her, right? I'll just ask her to take a sign picture to prove it.
>HOLY FUCK THEY ARE OF HER. AND OH MY SHIT, HER TITTIES ARE HUUUUUUUUUGE.
>Talk for a few months. She's a virgin and has had a touch life.
>I get sick and go into the hospital for a couple weeks.
>When I get out, she missed me. Comes down to visit me.
>Sweating everywhere. She got a hotel. We Hug. She smells like strawberries and happiness.
>Sitting on the bed awkwardly. Move over. She sits on the corner next to me.
>She detects my awkwardness.
>Why am I the awkward one? I've had sex before, she's the virgin.
>But holy fuck she's so beautiful, what does this girl want with me?
>She tells me the ceiling looks purple.
>'Oh really? I... I don't see it.'
>'No really anon, lean closer.'
>Take the hint, lean in next to her.
>She puts an arm around me, we collapse onto the bed, we squeeze eachother and time stops for a moment. We're making out. I'm hard as a rock. This is heaven. If heaven existed, I'd come back to this night over and over.
>Pulling eachother's clothes off. We'd talked about what we each wanted to do. She wants to try everything.
>Pull her titties out.
>They're soft, and full and perfectly round. She starts moaning while I'm sucking on her nipples.
>She's got my cock in her hand. She leans down to look at it. She's embarrassed but curious, never seen one up close before.
>She gives it a kiss, and my body stiffens. She's not doing anything out of the ordinary, no special technique or anything, but everything with her feels so good and so right.
>She licks at it. And again. And again.
>'Am I doing it right, anon?'
Add me Faggot, Ps: Op is Black =D
>Nod, run my fingers through her hair, play with her breasts. Lightly nudge her head and she starts sucking.
>There's like, light coming out of my chest or something. Am I crying? What the fuck, this feels amazing.
>'Tell me what to do.'
>Tell her to moan while she does it, go up and down, suggest some techniques I like. Tell her to use her hand too, look up at me. Go faster.
>'I'm... Getting... Close... So... Close... Gonna... Cum...'
>She just looks up at me and winks, with kind of a half smile, and I explode into her mouth.
>She swallows for like 30 seconds. Pulls her mouth off.
>I'm still cumming.
>She dives back down apologizing and sucks the rest off.
>I start working on her clit with my fingers. I'm squeezing and sucking on her titties, and she's moaning and tensing up, and I start to work my fingers in. Our lips meet.
>I was afraid of this, but there's no smell or anything. The cum's all gone. And I want so badly to kiss her.
>Making out, tongue's interlocking, don't even care she just swallowed the biggest load I've ever produced.
>She throws her head back and grips onto me. Cums.
>Looks over and notices I'm hard again.
>'Well, didn't you say you wanted to cum on my face? To 'mark me as yours' or whatever?'
>Don't gotta ask me twice.
It may not be funny but it if fucking beautiful to read.
>She's on her knees on the side of the bed.
>She's wearing nothing but her blue silk robe at this point. I tug it open around her enormous, awesome breasts.
>She sticks out her tongue and licks on the head of my dick, looking up at me.
>I titfuck her a bit, but it'll be a while before we can do this at all well.
>Keep stroking, rubbing all over her face. She's kissing it and telling me she's mine and to mark her. Claim her.
>This load's even bigger. It's in her mouth, it's all over her face, it's on her glasses, it's in her hair, it's all over her tits.
>Feel like a fucking porn star.
>It's dripping off her nipples onto her thights.
>She reaches down and rubs some against her clit.
>I awkwardly shuffle off to grab a towel.
>She reaches down and rubs some against her clit.
>Rubbing the cum on her face into her mouth with my dick.
>I awkwardly shuffle off to grab a towel.
>We decide instead to just take a shower.
>I light a bunch of candles, lights out, we get in.
>No sex, just kissing, holding eachother, being happy. Get all clean and nice smelling.
>Order a pizza. Tease her about having to answer the door in lingerie.
>She agrees to it. Pay for the pizza (Papa John's) and put in a dvd we pick out. It's The Collector.
>We're just cuddling for about 30 minutes, but then we start making out again.
>Throw her back onto the bed.
>Ask her if she's ready.
>She says she is. She wants it. She wants me inside her.
>Slowly and carefully put my dick in. I spent like 40 minutes fingering her earlier just to prepare for this.
>So afraid it's gonna hurt her like the last virgin I had sex with.
>She smiles. Says it feels really good. Can't stop moaning.
>I start sliding in and out faster and faster. Feel like I'm on fire. Everything's glowing gold.
>She's clawing up and down my back and spasming.
>She keeps cumming, I kiss her over and over and squeeze her breasts would fucking her harder and harder.
>'Please, give me your cum anon. Cum inside me. I want to know what it feels like.'
>Grip her thigh with one hand, my other wrapped under her back, and plow in and out as fast as I can.
>Explode again, this time inside her. Her body starts convulsing. I just keep cumming.
>Collapse on her, still kissing while I cum.
>Finally roll over next to her, pull her onto my chest.
>We're both breathing heavily.
>We missed the rest of the movie fucking. Pizza's still good though.
>Turn off the tv, just lay there in eachother's arms. I'm more relaxed than I've ever been in my life.
>She sits up in bed. This is the first time I see it. The most beautiful thing I'll ever see in my entire life. Every morning when we live together, this is what I see. But that's later.
She's nude, the comforter falls just below her butt. The sideboob, the curve down her back, her slender frame expanding at her hips into her enormous butt.
>My god, it's magnificent. I'm in bed with a goddess.
>She walks over the window and peeks out.
>That view was all it took. I'm hard again.
>Walk up behind her, start fingering her.
>Take control, kissing her neck, tugging on her hair. Place her hands against the window.
>'Let's give the cars passing by a show.'
>Pull open the blinds. She's embarrassed but she doesn't move. Fuck her from behind until she cums again and collapses to the floor.
>I'm spent at this point though, it's like there's not a drop of cum left in my balls.
>Lead her back to the bed giggling.
>We fall asleep in eachother's arms.
Dont be a cry baby, You placed 1st if it was /win stories so you get $20 as well for calling me out on it, link it up >if you didnt leave homie
don't talk dirty about glorious OP
it is him, we shall honour for he has delivarddddddd
i shall grant you eternal lifetime you awesome person you
Im a master OP, bow before me ^_^ Delivered $40 in steam shit in this thread
I'll archive this OP but did you even read my OC on the other thread? Got a following in the thread before you announce winrar and 404d
Wrote an essay for you and you didn't read it ;_;
this threads still up?! miss me op? its dead dog guy
this is it folks, best, thread, ever
ey op ever since you got famous you changed, you ignoring your old pal, I WAS HERE WHEN THREAD WAS BORN. YOU KILLED MA DOG
It's not green text but it's funny as fuck
pls op give me a chance to win a good game
hey dead dog guy
I hope you guys have a Great Steam Summer
Archive this thread for /b/ History
What say ye? Constellation prze for the oldfag?
can you actually see this, because for some reason I cant add you or see you?!
But if you can are you are serious fallout 3 would be incredible
>gives shit to two undeserving faggots
>no for glorious anon who posted OC greentext with 30+ posts and thread archive
Here your grace i'll post some green text for this bro he deserves a game :)
even tho op is prob done gifting, i just wanna share my favorite greentext of all time
OP DELIVERS ANOTHER TIME
IS THERE NO END TO HIS GLORIOUS GENEROSITY
Ayo mane can i have mw2 please i really want to play it for dem nostalgic feels :)
This isn't a begging thread
(On the inside though im the biggest cavedweller alive.)
Nigga post account link, and make another of those pics when poof is posted pl0x =D
All done, post it up
Dont beg here
>Its getting dark out, ima get offline and go game in a bit
>(Just bought this rig today)
Shit forgot pic
Soul memory mechanic sucks ass in the second one. PvP is terrible
>Be 20 not that beta anymore
>go to a party one of my friends is having
>meet blonde chick named Aurelia
>spend the most of the night talking, drinking and smoking with her
>decide to take it home to my place
>get on bed hardcore making out
>my guess is im as good a kisser as Hellen Keller is a scout
>we start undressing
>completely silent just looking at each other
>decide to break the silence with something that'll make her go wild
>oh yeah baby im gonna glaze you like a danish
>Aurelia looks at me with a face of horror
>begins to get dressed again and leaves my place without saying a word
Nope. Fuck /fit/
Use this when making a thread pic like >>552456036
>Pic related: What i gifted today
>be on a cruise ship
>start talking to some girl
>not a perfect 10 but a soild 8/10
>we start talking some more and eventually pull the its to loud in here maneuverer
>get her outside on the deck
>she's craving the cock like jew on a penny hunt
>we kiss and she looks at me and says whaddaya wanna do now?
>better not blow this, but cant just say fuck on the deck
>thinks of suave cool guy line that always works
>"wanna get to know you better baby"
>bitch told me about her entire fucking family for 3 hours
>Lurking /b/ for 4 years
>See steam Summer sale and decide to join pc masterrace
>Trash my ps3 and build awesome computer
>buy steam games, still got money left
>decide to share with my bros
>Make shitty steam thread
>Decide to say "fuck the rules I made"
>Get turnt up
>Too turnt up
>Spending money everywhere
>This thread will be forgotten by morning =(
>Has regrets, mind says turn down
>Turn down for what?
FUCK IT, enjoy your games /b/rothers (\(^o^)
>Be me 21 get off work Log on /b/
>See Steam Begging and traded posts
>See summerfags begging and pleading
>Silently start a green text story for 20$
>Laugh at all the pleas and fake stories
>Don't name a winner and keep 20$
>Today was a good day.
>Mfw kids cry over this.
>no one in
>laying in bed
>sexual stuff ensues
>give the ol' fingerooney
>get the ol' handjibberjobber
>expecting slow handmovements
>suddenly shes trying to break the speed limit
>only been going for 10 seconds
>almost at climax
>all over shirt
>she doesnt realise because 10 seconds
>she keeps going
>asks me to fuck her
>just climaxed so want anything but sex
>stare into her eyes
>'fuck me, please'
>no idea what to say
>all that comes out is
alright final story, not even sure if OP is doing this anymore
>be at a party with some friends drinking and having a good time
>some girl comes up to me and gives me a look i imagine a priest would give to a choirboy with a tight butt
>i try and play it cool drinking with her and joking around
>suddenly she asks me if i wanna go for a ride in my car
>ive been drinking so i say i cant
>girl looks confused and disappointed
>i immediately realize i just turned down some puss
>girl recoils like a pro slut hunting for meat stick and asks if we should just get in my car to be alone for a little while as its parked somewhere all by it self
>i say sure why not
>she jokes around with how i can teach her to drive stick
>obvious joke about her driving my stick if you catch my drift (<-- that a car joke... please someone kill me)
>get into car slut is getting all worked up to working on my cock
>im getting nice and relaxed
>she leans into to start this hour of sweaty in-car lovin
>i reach out with my hand towards her and grab her hand
>and then i fucking teach how to drive while she just looks at me with a stare that only conveys boredom and anger
>she leaves the party and never talks to me again, and i think about this shit almost everyday