>be me >be 15 >fattest kid in high school >tortured

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Continue faggot

faget

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>>552226064
>all right, so dipshit and his friends just freeze
>instead of responding they just leave, extremely embarrassed that their leader was told by an old man.
>i look at the old man
>he's literally staring off into the direction the pack of assholes are leaving
>just before they round the corner, he yells:
"I see you're turning in the direction of the gay bar!"
>there was indeed, a gay bar in the direction they were turning
>ilostmyshit.jpg
>they stopped for one second
>the best comeback they had was yelling:
"FUCK YOU!"
>they shouldn't have said that
>the old man countered it perfectly
"Fuck ME? No, sorry, I don't want to join your little orgy later. And what are you doing interested in someone my age, anyway?"
>here i am, sitting on this bench, losing my shit because of this old man's insults
>he then makes sure they leave, and then sits down next to me
>we begin to chat

>>552229770
>the entire street block is staring at us
>we don't give a shit
>Thanks man.
Oh, no trouble kid, he got what he deserved.
>What's your name?
Franklin, but you can call me Frank. Yours?
>Anon.
Pleased to meet you, Anon.
>You as well, Frank.
>Frank pauses for a moment
>he then turns to me and asks:
Have you ever done anything to deserve the bullshit he just gave you?
>No. I'm just overweight, so he targets me.
A skinny little bitch insulting someone who could kill them merely by sitting on them? You have to show him that you mean business.
>i have heard every single word he said, and i play the scene out in my head, me trying to fight him
>i lose and get humiliated in front of the entire school
>No, no, I'd... I'd rather not, I'll just ignore him until he quits.
BULLSHIT!
>Frank stabs his cane down

wow

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GODDAMN IT I HATE SKINNY KIDS FOR FUCK SAKE EAT A GODDAMN BAGEL OR A BAKED BAGEL OR SOME SORT OF OTHER SHITLOVING JEW DONUT I HATE THIS EARTH.

You go old man
Dont let any of their awful comments haunt you through life. Bullies are insecure little shits that feel better from bringing others down. They are the maggots of the human race

>>552231245
How do get rid of cancer?
>You fight it?
Exactly! It never goes away, but if you beat it enough, its presence won’t bother you.
>What does cancer have to so with any of this?
That skinny little shit? He is cancer. He sees someone who won’t fight back, he sees someone he can consume. And yet, here you sit, acting like he’s a minor headache.
>”minor headache”
You have two choices. Let him fuck with your life, or beat the shit out of him. I see him come through this park every day. You can wait on this bench to fuck him up.
>no, this guy is fucking insane
>I’m sorry Frank, but I think it would just be best to avoid confrontation.
>he looks me in the eye
You’ll see, Anon.
>i go home, meet my dad
>really good guy, and practically all i have left
>my mother didn’t… exactly want me
>she just up and left around a month after my birth
>i’ve never even met her
>at least my dad gave a shit about his responsibilities
Hey, Anon, you happy school is out?
>hellyesiam.jpg
>dad’s watching a baseball game
>i sit down in a chair beside him and watch it with him
You know, Anon, we could spend the entire damn summer watching these games.
>But we’d get even fatter.
Then we could take the place of orca whales in Sea World.
>fuckinglovemyoldman.jpg
>game is over, i go to bed

Don't you die on me damnit!

>>552233378
>i wake up, first day of summer, hell yes.
>go downstairs to kitchen
>dad’s at the fridge
>he takes out an almost empty jug of milk
“Well, shit.”
>he looks at me
“Hey Anon, could you go to the store next to the park and get some milk? I’ve gotta get to work and I don’t have time for shopping on the way.”
>idon’treallymind.jpg
>he gives me enough to buy two jugs, and i set out
>buy the jugs, exit the store with two bags, one for each jug
>see Frank sitting across on his usual bench
>whythehellnot.jpg
>i walk up and say hi
Hello, Anon, how are you doing today?
>Fine.
What’s in the bags?
>Milk, dad asked me to get some.
Responsible. You’re a good kid.
>i was just about to get into a nice conversation with Frank when… you guessed it
>dipshit and friends

>>552234604
readin and beatin

>>552234604
moar

>>552234604
Continue OP! I need the inspiration!

>>552226064
U better beat the fuck outa this kid or ima beat the fuck outa u faggot op

bumpy

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>>552234604

It's so fake, but I love it!

c'mon OP i wanna see how this ends

do you get pressured into trying to steal the old mans gran torino

I am so fucking hard for Frank right now.

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>>552232434
>mfw skinny kid

>>552234604
>that fucking faggot
“What’s up, Lard Boy? Hanging out with the man with one foot in the grave?”
>his friends acted like it was the best insult ever
>easilyimpressedidiots.jpg
>fred pipes up
“Why yes, we are hanging out, and so are you queers, your dicks hanging out.”
>OH MY GOD, FRANK, THAT WAS AWESOME.
“They hang out because their longer old man.”
“The only thing long about you is your anal passage, so you can fit whatever size dick you want in there.”

Bumpin

>>552235887
Lol

Hell,this could turn out to be a bad-ass story/life lesson.BRING IT OP

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post more OP

>>552235945
fuckin bump, make him eat his testicles

>>552235945
bumpin for this story

Bamp

bump, OP hurry up!

>>552237169
Bump

>>552235945
>dipshit swings at Frank
>FRANK FUCKING STOPS HI S FIST, I SWEAR TO GOD, HE HOLDS THIS SKINNY FUCKERS HAND AND WONT LET GO
>he looks at me and says one word
“Milk”
>he then looks at the milk jug and nods
>he wants me to hit this fucker with the milk
>don’t think about it, just pick it up and slam it over the fucker’s head
>MILK FUCKING EVERYWHERE
>we have a few patches where a lot of drops hit us, but dipshit is soaked
>istillcantbelivethisshitactuallyhappened.jpg
>dipshit is white as a ghost now
“WHAT THE FUCK?”
>Frank looks up at him and his friends
>he gives them the coldest stare i have ever seen and says:
“Got milk?”
>heactuallyfuckingsaidthat.jpg
“Get out of here, go fuck each other or something.”
>They run, the actually fucking RUN

Looks like op was live tweeting this shit and lol

>>552237470

#REKT

>>552237470
>"Got milk?"
Losing it.

>>552237896
You know its true cause no /b/tard is clever enough to make this shit up.

>>552237954
True that

OP is Marica

>>552237896
got this fked up craving for scrambled eggs now wtf

>>552237896
>>552237954
>>552238090
you two wanna suck eachothers cocks?

>got milk?
I giggl'd

>>552238196
>Anon trying to be as cool as the old man in the story
>Isn't

>>552237470

>got milk?

Oh man, this old man is so awesome I'm starting to think its bullshit

>>552237470
>Got milk?

BTFO
T
F
O

>>552238564
This story is fake. But continue on for entertainment's sake.

>>552237470
>i sit back with the old man, out of breath, my heart beating like crazy
>he reaches for his beard and gets a little bit of milk that found it’s way there
>he puts his finger in his mouth and tastes it
>smacking his lips, he says:
Hmmm… tastes like soaked faggot.
>we fucking lose it
>Frank gives me money to buy another jug of milk
>i go home
>dipshit never bothers me again
>frank and I are best friends
>dad never knows about what happened
…
>it ain’t over yet, guys, there is still so much more to this story
>and a whole lotta more Franklin
>y’all ready for this shit?

>>552237470
Imagine walking down the street and seeing that? Id lose my shit. Frank is your Guardian Angel OP ,Let him guide you.

>>552234604
>buy milk
>responsible

>>552238735
Inb4 is frank is kill

>>552238735
lets walk the dinosaur

free bump for more

>>552238735
>Hmmm… tastes like soaked faggot.
kek

>>552238735
Well I'm strapped in for a good ride, so now is as good of a time as ever.

>>552235945
Is it Frank or Fred?
Also is your name Keiran, and is Douchebags name Matt?

OP IS A FAT TUB OF LARD LOSE SOME WIEGHT FAGGIT

>>552239242
Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet. Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag? Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.

Bumping for awesome thread

I wasa fat kid too. I know this pain. Even more painful looking my loose skin and stretch marks. Really deep ones its like scars. At least it keeps me grounded. Lol get it?

Bumping for moar

>>552238735
go on

bumping for you know why

Op I just want to say I was having a shitty day and you just cheered me up keep the good work and sounds like frank is the ultimate bro

So /b/... this is how we fight it..
>What does cancer have to so with any of this?
That skinny little shit? He is cancer. He sees someone who won’t fight back, he sees someone he can consume. And yet, here you sit, acting like he’s a minor headache.

Bumpin'

Somebody cap and post

Are you still a landwhale anon?

>>552240057
We are legion.
We do not forgive.
We do not forget.


We are chemotherapy.

>>552240256
What the fuck would you sage for a bump?

Also, this story's great. I'll hang in here.

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>>552239427
You know you ID changes in each thread... So ya, you pleb

>newfag

MOAR NOW !

to fuck with your mind

>>552240470
It's a copy paste you fucking newfag

cmon ffgt

>>552240470
yeah hes such a newfag isnt he

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>>552240470
You know most people who talk about ID Heaven are just baiting you right?

>>552226064
That's it.

I don't even know where the fuck to begin... Why do people like you find child porn to joke about? You think because you get to sit in your warm home on a computer that you can just joke about horrible things like this? What the actual fuck is wrong with you guys? This is very fucked up, yet crazy assfucks like you are posting child things like it's nothing. Sick fucks, doing this shit does fucking nothing. So you want to come on an imageboard to be an asshole about things like this? Let me tell you guys, you are all fucking weak. You would never be useful to the world with such behavior you present. Honestly why do people like you guys even exist? I bet you don't even know about half of what people have gone through from then till now when they have someone they've known is molested. You are all such disgusting bullies. Isn't it bad enough that people go through hardships of their loved ones? Seriously what do you guys really find funny about this? Stupid fuckers I'm so angry right now that I wish I can fucking punch my computer screen so that my fist can get a good hit on that asshole face of yours. Sick fucks. Seriously, just fucking grow up and actually act properly about child porn. Stupid fuck, keep eating those cheetoes that you stain on your shirts every day.

>>552239427
who is heaven?

>>552238735
>so i give frank my address and tell him to come over some time
>i come home and tell dad i made a friend who’ll be coming over in the next few days
>dad is… surprisingly cool with this
>3 days later, Frank is there
>we sit down to eat (dad is a surprisingly good cook, he made some lasagna that night
>Frank says to dad:
Did you know your son was being bullied?
>dad freezes
No, I didn’t, Anon, why didn’t you tell me?
>Frank interrupts
No need to worry now. We took care of it.
How?
Let’s leave out the details.
>like i said, he never knew
>Frank pipes up
But, I’d like to avoid it again, and because of this, I would like to attack the reason your son was treated badly. His weight.
>i freeze
I’m not going to force you into this, and I’m not going to help you without your father’s approval, but I can really help you get in shape.
>my dad pauses, and nods his head
>Frank turns to me
“Now, listen, Anon, I am not going to make you do this, it’s your choice. But once we start, there is no turning back.”
>i’m just ready for this nightmare to end
>i nod my head
“Alright, we start tomorrow, meet me in the park at 11:00 A.M.”

>>552240619
aw i wanted to play with him you faggot !

>>552240713
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the topsniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>552240470
nice b8 m8 i r8 8/8or welcome newfriend.

>>552240470
You're a fucking idiot, aren't you?

A. "Heaven" is the signature ID of people who sage. It's default.

B. That's a fucking copy/pasta

C. No shit your ID changes in each thread

D. You're a faggot.

>>552240713
http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/6118cd5c93129fa2631f8394c7c09b4172f25be0_m.jpg

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>>552240470
>mfw newfag doesn't realise copypasta.
Fag.

>>552240713
Da fuq are you talking about.

Also tl;dr lololol

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>>552240702
I like to play along, starts sparks o' conflict

>>552226064
>i know i can lose weight, i just don't try

yep, this story is fake as fuck

>>552240992
why u do dis ?

>>552240817

Frank is a cool guy. He gets gets and doesn't afraid of anything.

>>552240867
Is their a dark souls version of this?

>you're fucking souls neto

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>>552232434
I eat... All. The. Time.

But my metabolism is waaaay too high, and I never gain any weight.

But I don't care. I'd rather be the lean sexual machine I am today than some fat sack of shit.

>>552240817
im loving this

>>552241205
Me no know

please moar op

Bumpan for op

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>>552241047
I like you.

>>552240867
TLDR GTFO

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>>552240906

>>552226064
loose some weight faggot.
>do you even lift?

godamn heavens..i like the story..dont care fake or not..

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>>552226064
>>552229770
>>552231245
>>552233378
>>552234604
>>552235945
>>552237470
>>552238735
>>552240817

shit could be a movie

Skip to the part where frank sticks his liver spotted dick up your ass. I'm getting impatient.

BUMP FOR THE GLORY OF FRANK

>>552241703
I feel this about all stories on /b/

>>552226064
i need moar OP

>>552240906
oldfag is correct

>>552240867
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.

>>552241363
i get that mentality but id rather be fat. people will make fun of you ether way. but at least if your fat you can fucking destroy half of them in a fight.

saving this thread from stupid heavens attack

>>552235945
Old people insults are so lame but you have to laugh at them cause they're clever

>>552241942
>mfw this omg

>>552242023
Oh no you don't

>>552241970
You know not all fat people have the advantage of being tall?

The ARE fat people that are like meatballs small and round they get picked on all the time.

top-notch thread is top-notch

>>552240817
>So, we began
>Frank first had me run as many laps around the park as i could, he said this would build up my stamina and make all the important workouts easier
>on the first day i didn’t even make it half way
>i nearly cried, I felt so pathetic
>Frank comes up to me and says the nicest shit:
“You are doing incredibly well, very few people actually run as long as they can, but I can tell by how exhausted you are that you are actually trying, rest on the bench, and then when you’re rested you can try this again, alright?”
>so, I do this around six times in one day
>i didn’t notice, but Frank told me I got farther every time
>by the end of the day I had actually ran the full lap

>>552242150
why are u sageing his thread anyway ? give me a reason.

>>552242150
Kek

>>552242023
U Fink u r the fukkin king of the internet or sumfin m8?

>>552242023
too late newfag

>>552241970
Never start a fight with a fay guy. They're used to moving all that tonnage around every day. Picking you up with one hand would be no problem for most of them. They may not be fast, but once you get one pissed off enough..

>>552242293
frank seems like a cool guy, i hope he is still alive

>>552242329
Heaven, don't be a bitch.

>please

>>552242318
>>552242150
>>552242329
How many are there

Bumpng the shit out of this thread

>>552242293
Inb4 Rocky

>>552242293
OP,if this thread went 404,make a new one will ya..i really like ure story..

>>552242318
Ah shieet nigga
Are you ALSO a meme lord?

>>552242329
stop being so MEAN

>>552242521
I BUMPED THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR MOM FAG

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>>552232434
fuck off fat shit

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My theory works everytime, no matter the topic one spark and boom. every one bags on the dumbass. Dis fun.

Tl;dr >I baited the bait

>>552242540
Im no fukken memelord u assbergers dipshit, i just dont like ppl waving their dix around lyk theyr fukkin interne champs

>>552226064
frank old and strong like dinosaur

>>552242823
Squish like grape

>>552242710
>I was just pretending to be a retard.
Sure, kiddo. Whatever you say.

hurdurdur
[spoiler]Bump[/spoiler]

>>552242710
You don't go outside much, do you?

>>552242806
>assbergers

>>552242537
OP here, I will, but let's hope that won't happen.
I currently am saving pictures of the posts to make an image just in case.

heaven is a faggot
but the story is very good

>>552242806
ure talking about ureself right ? Mr heaven newfag king.

>>552242435
This is why I'm always packing harpoons

>>552242293
OP, pls cont. I don't even care if fake or not

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>>552242806
You are definitely a meme lord
Go back to reddit faggot

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>>552242893
K

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Is this Frank

>>552242971
U wunt to start a fuggen fite u anushit? Im gonna rekz ure ass so bad ure gonna be in need of serious medical treatment from your nearest hospital

Op is dead

>>552243220
No frank has a beard dummy

fucking retards in this thread

>>552243370
/heaven

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Bumping

I'll be capping, don't worry about it OP

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>>552242927
I do, just when I'm bored I come here and watch people get mad over nothing

>>552243370
Look whos talkin'

>>552243262
ok..do it..come,hit me..
>2000 + 14
>want to hit someone over the internet
>trying to troll by wanting to hit someone over the internet
>newfag,lurkmoar.

>>552242951
great story so far op

God, i hate all the fucking Heavens in here -.-

>>552240619
>>552240687
>>552240702
>>552240898
>>552240906
>>552240965

>doesn't realise is also bait

>>552243563
you sound scared...seriously

>>552243669
mines was next level bait...

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>>552243669

More please :D

>>552242710
>i'm retarded
>fuck off retard
>haha jokes on you i'm not actually retarded
>top fucking kek

>>552226064
This never happened.

>>552243830
To p kekk

>>552242293
If this doesn't end in Frank turning you into a thin little fuck boi I will be disappoint.

>>552243563
Ha ha u skared ure finna get krushed Buy some SWAGboy on the internet? I seriously think you should reconsider your priorities

http://steamcommunity.com/id/ShizzlemyNizzley/

>>552242293
continue motherfucker

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>>552243971
I try

>>552240702
heh, its bubbadub and im watching coL vs DIG right now.

rebumping

>>552242710
nigger nobody cares about you trolling i'm reading a greentext

>>552244121
>>552243679

low quality bait.

>>552244121
What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nigga. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nigga. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nigga.

>>552242293
>so, for four weeks I run, near the end i could run TEN FUCKING LAPS, I WAS SO FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF, I COULD ACTUALLY DO THIS
>i lose a fucking INCREDIBLE 15 pounds doing this shit.
>i go from 230 lbs to 215
>we then start to do exercises, several different types in one day, so we can work on multiple parts of my body at once
>we lift weights, do pushups (sucked at those), pull ups (those, too), all kinds of shit.
>in one week I lose 5 pounds
>210 pounds
>over the next two months, i lost 30 pounds
>i was then 180 pounds, the perfect weight for my height
>kids at school notice me getting better
>for the next 3 school years I live like a normal student
>it’s all because of Frank, too.
>there’s more, guys, a lot more

>>552242293
Get the fuck back here.

>>552244529
So don't hold back, keep'em coming.

>>552244529
Please more

>>552244529
then bloody post it m8

>>552244529
>>there’s more, guys, a lot more
Then you better start typing faster, nigger

>>552244529
inb4 frank is tyler druden etc etc

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>>552243312

better?

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>>552244482
I'm pretty sure op has abadond us

>>552243627
Nigger

Bada bump

>>552244731
inb4 prelude to rocky etc etc

>>552244734
Much better

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>>552235904

>kid

stop talking to yourself

>>552244509
SOOOO STONED NIGGA HELLA MOTHA FUCKING 666 ODD FUTURE MAN BRO CHECK THIS OUT MY SWAG WITH THE WHAT WHOLE 666 420 HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY CASH FUCKING MARIJUANA SIGARETTES GANGSTA GANGSTA EAZY - E C.R.E.A.M SO BAKED OFF OH THE BOB MARLEY GANJA SHIT PURE OG KUUSSHH LEGALIZE CRYSTAL FUCKING WEED

>>552244934
what is up with you tonight ?

>>552243627
u wot m8

>>552244529
man ive got work soon but i wanna hear your inspiring ass story. please keep going

>>552244934
Heaven
I fucken swear
Shove off fuc boi

>>552244753

he just replied 2 mins ago, who the fuck do you think you're baiting you little piece of shit? I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my navy seals and have over 3000 confirmed kills.

Get to the part where frank dies already! I don't got all day to wait to cry.

>>552235904
I feel you, deep under my skinny chest.

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Very impressive story telling style. Please do continue.

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>>552241970
Yes but being lean makes you so quick and limb. Force = Mass * Acceleration
So even though you don't have much mass, your speed more than makes up for it. Plus, your fists aren't soft and chubby like some fat fucks are. They're boney, and feel like rocks. They hurt really badly when you get punched in the face by them.

I'm like a fucking missile. You think I'm just a weak little faggot then BAM! Broken nose. But where am I now? BAM! Fuck if you know, but someone tripped you!

BAM BAM BAM!

Your coughing up blood! Someone is piercing the shit out of your stomach with their shoe!

But who was it? WHO WAS IT?!

It was me. The fast as a cheetah, lean as a cocoanut tree, free moving as a black man entering Canada in the mid 1800s, lean, mean, sexual fighting machine.

And the reason you can't find me is because my stride is so long and my legs are so fast that I'm already half a mile away from you.

Skinny>Fat, just sayin'. GG fat people.

>>552245130
Well he baited you

>>552245193
/thread

>>552244529
omg just post whole story
i hope it will not be George R. R. Martin style
>we all died, the end

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>>552245007
>>552245070
pls stop bullying me
im kinda bi-polar srry

>>552245276

nobody baits me

what if your post is bait too?

>>552245007
Forgive me father for i am a faggot

>>552245070
hey ;) do't hate

>>552244529
this is definitely one of the better stories I've read on /b/

>>552245224
virgin detected

>>552245218
>9fag

>>552245224

I can't stand fat people who are like "I won't even feel it cause I'm a lard whale", it's like dude I'm gonna be aiming for your face, it's not nearly as fat as your body.

>>552244529
OP we need moar. Is necessary for survival.

>>552244529
go on

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Story so far. will be expanding as OP posts more

>>552245439
This is 4chan.

We're all wizards here.

>>552245542
whore

>>552245007
>tonight
what shithole country do you live in faggot?

>>552245372
To be honest mate, your embarassing yourself tonight go get some rest and come back

>>552245542

faggot

>>552245381
I bait u

>>552245381
Then you fell for my bait

>>552245542
You fucking nigger

>>552245542
names

>>552245542
Hi Jeremy

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>>552245573
Awesome.

>>552245527
Kill yourself attention whore

>>552245542
i think you're a very nice person

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>>552245661
>>552245664

>>552245573
thank u sir

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>>552245372
Then stop commenting

>>552245542
Ninnymuggins

>>552245573
>710KB
Not all of us have super high speed internet to load this kind of shit.

>>552245542

Fucking whore, fucking skank whore, fucking dirty filthy little skank whore, suck that dick, yeaah all the way, yeaaah.

>>552245573
cioool

>>552245542
Faggotfuckingnigger

>>552245824
Go back to reddit nigger

>>552245743

summerfag

>>552244529
>Frank is there for my high school graduation
Kid, I am so fucking proud of you. I don’t think I’ve cried harder than this in my entire life.
>the old man gives me a hug
>he encourages my dad to get a better job
>dad actually does, we get a bigger house, life is so much better now
>Frank is there when I leave for college
“Good luck, Anon. I’ll see you whenever you visit.”
>Frank does see me whenever I visit
>the old man cries when I graduate and hugs me tight
“I hate crying, but good lord I could drown in a river of my own tears I’m so proud.
>ilovethisguy.jpg
>then, something happened to dad
>something bad

>>552245917
>710KB
>super high speeds
I must live in India or some shit then

>>552245917
Poorfag detected

>>552245743

Why do you keep trying to bait people? Even if you do, it's really not impressive, even a kid can troll people, it really isn't that amusing unless it's on a large scale and not online.

>>552244529

If this ends with walking dinosaurs i will fucking kill a baby

>>552246226
oh hey there buzz killington

>>552246045
I already made a comment insulting reddit
Your comeback is now considered null and void

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>>552245917
okay nigger, enjoy your jpg artifacts

also we're gonna need a new bread soon

>>552246090
>>552246129
>>552246120
Congrats

>>552245224
552241970 #
Yes but being jon makes you so quick and lennon. Smegma = butter * phone
So even though you don't have much jon, your lennon more than makes up for it. Plus, your fists aren't soft and chubby like some smegma butter. They're boney, and feel like Jon lennon. They hurt really badly when you get Phone in the face by them

I'm like a fucking phone. You think I'm just a weak little smegma then BAM! Broken butter. But where am I now? BAM! Fuck if you know, but someone phoned you!

BAM BAM BAM!

Your coughing up smegma! Someone is piercing the shit out of your butter with their phone!

But who was phone? WHO WAS PHONE?!

It was me. The fast as a butter, lean as a Jon Lemon tree, free moving as a black smegma entering Jon in the mid 1800s, lean, mean, sexual fighting lennon.

And the reason you can't find me is because my phone is so long and my legs are so jon that I'm already half a mile away from you.

Smegma>butter, just sayin'. GG fat Jon lennoms

>>552245542
Fag

>>552241942
BWAAAAAH!! H’what in the hell did you just say about me, you got danged giblet head? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Arlen High in propane and propane accessories, and I’ve been involved in numerous Vogner Char King sales extravaganzas, and I have over 300 confirmed sales. I am trained in BTU calibration and I’m the top assistant manager in all of Heimlich County. You are nothing to me but just another valued customer. I will fill up your propane tanks with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my got danged words. You think you can get away with saying that asinine garbage about propane over the Internet? Think again, you little weasel. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of propane truck drivers across the USA and your address is being traced right now so you better prepare for the convoy, you big baby. The convoy that refills the pathetic little thing you call your propane tanks. You’re all filled up, you damn moron. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can service your propane needs in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in propane tank calibration, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Texas Propane Gas Association and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your charcoal loving ass off the face of the continent, you little bastard. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your damn tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you got danged idiot. I will kick your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for a month. You’re dead, I tell ya h’what.

>>552246343
Thank you, much better :^)

Possible outcomes:

>fresh prince
>walk the dinosaur
>rocky balboa
>scooby doo

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>>552245631
>mfw this faggot don't understand how time zones work

>>552246090
Op I'm lurking don't fucking quit on me

>>552246090
Dad is kill?

This thread is a fucking shit factory
How did it attract so many fucking shitposters?

>>552246573
inb4 heavens correct

>>552246321

But it's like watching someone play with rocks or something, wouldn't you question them why they do it?

>>552246090

what happened ;_;

>>552246697
summer

>>552246573
although I did say rocky first !

>>552245660
>>552245629
>>552245669
>>552245884
>>552245923
>>552246226

wtf is going on?

>>552246697
This thread was peaceful until the heavens attacked

We're gonna hit autosage soon, we should start a new bread

pls no dad is kill

>>552229770
holy shit he had a cane?

>>552246975
YOU'RE A VERY NICE PERSON AND YOU HAVE AMAZING FASHION SENSE GO HAVE A NICE DAY YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD

>>552246995
I prefer this old, moldy bread

>>552246975
You got trollgagged

>>552246995
Yeah, op start up a new one and link us to it would ya?

>>552246886
Hilarious faggot. Check the thread.

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>>552245542
your mum was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!

inb4 OP's dad confesses he's not really his dad, and finds him extremely sexy due to weight loss and rapes OP's butthole.

NEW THREAD OP, NOOOOWWWW!!!!!

>>552246995
just dont run it through the teleporter

>>552246975
shut the fuck up whore

>>552246090
the suspense is killing me

>>552247203
go a-whey or i shall taunt you a second time

>>552247184
excuse me ?

inb4 dad dies, gramps takes you to japan to become karatekid

>>552235887
Lold

>>552245372
That's not how bipolar disorder works you retard, and you should not joke about it

I JUST SHAVED MY BUTT HOLE AND NOW IT'S BLEEDING. THERE WAS TOO MUCH HAIR IN MY BUTT AND IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING UP THERE. I WAS SICK OF ADJUSTING IT EVER FEW MINUTES. SHAVING IT WAS FINE UNTIL THE END WHEN I NOTICED IT WAS BLEEDING IN THAT STRETCH OF SKIN WHERE MY ASS MET MY DICK. WHEN I SEEN BLOOD ON THE RAZOR I FREAKED. THEN I PUT A WASHCLOTH UP THERE THAT IS NOW SOAKED WITH BLOOD AND SHIT. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SHAVE YOUR ASS.

>>552226064
>>i know i can lose weight, i just don't try
no you can't
or you would fatty

>>552247320
I said Rocky long before you did

COME ON OP

Can't you shitposters go 2 a different thread like ylyl? Or dan

>>552247320
Hilarious faggot. Check the thread.

>>552247459
>no you cant
>didnt read thread
>is a massive faggot

>>552239427
Nice copy pasta

>>552246090
Shit, SHIT, I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

>>552245542
Gilligan

approaching limit, do we start thread #2?

>>552247472
no you didnt you lying faggot

>>552247373
I joke about whatever the fuck I want, faggot.

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>>552247307

I'm calling father being diagnosed with cancer or mother appearing

>>552247492
Dont you understand heaven...
You've attracted them
You've brung them here
It is all your fault, you and all the other heavens

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about to hit the feels barrier

OP where the fuck are you

>>552247670
Ctrl F

>>552247695
Faggot

>>552247768
I've only saved once and I'm not even bumping this thread ops story is good

frank is fit'na die

inb4 Op's mom got a sex change and changed her name to frank

>>552247776
I'm about to hit your mom's vaginal barrier ;)

>>552247864
Im not searching shit ! your a lying faggot now admit it !

>>552239427
>being this new

>>552247747
>dat filename

>>552247995
holy shit yes