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Weird school stories thread? Weird school...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Weird school stories thread? Weird school stories thread.

>be me
>12 or so
>That kid
>Frequently go to the bathroom
>sit on toilet
>poop into hand
>smear the poop onto the walls
>throw some poop onto the ceiling
>rub poop all over the toilet
>wrap poop in toilet paper
>place on top of toilet paper dispenser
> nobody ever knew
>do this for weeks and weeks
>never get caught
>piss all over the floor
>do the poop smearing and floor pissing for a month straight with times after
what the actual fuck
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fuck you op.
There was a retard in my primary school, like ubertarded levels here, and he shat on the floor in class once
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I think there was a kid like this in every school.
you are the cancer on humanity's ass you fucking disgusting faggot

This shit happened at my middle school too. Fuckhats would chuck it at the locker room walls so it stuck and smear the bathroom stalls with it.
So you know how when you poop and you accidentally get some of it on your hand. Yea, well that happened to me once. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but it was... Because I didn't notice. I left the bathroom and flushed but "forgot" to wash my hands. I sat back down and began to smell shit. "somebody must have farted I thought" until someone looked over at my hand and started laughing maniacally. I had a doo doo a dallop of doo doo on my right handfingers. Everyone looked over at me with disgust. I ran out of the classroom and moved to my aunt and uncles out in belair. No but I actually dropped out the next day.
Had a kid like this at my elementary. Other stalls were full so kid pulled down his pants and took a dump on the floor of the restroom. Think it was PE or something and the door to the restroom was propped open so the whole class was aware within ten seconds
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>be me
>8th grade
>went to ultrastrict meganazi school with a no cell phone rule
>kids would hide their cell phones in the movable tiles in the bathroom
>poop in toilet paper
>wrap shit tissue around expensive phones
>nobody knew it was me

>9th grade
>ultrastrict meganazi high school lets kids have cell phones
>get caught reaching up and suspended for three months
>no regrets

Omfg... I can't even.

>Be me
>11 or so.
>One day teacher lets us out for bathroom break.
>Walk into bathroom.
>People crowded around stall.
>Kids fucking screaming about how the "artist" had created another "creation."
>Some kid walks it.
>Runs back out.
>He fucking throws up everywhere.
>I courageously walk in.
>Shit all over.
>Piss on floor.
>There's fucking shit drawings too.
>Shit on door handle.
>Can't get out.
>I have to kick the door.
>Shit gets on my shoes along with the piss.
>I walk back to class leaving shit prints.
>They never found out who the "artist" was.

I swear to god OP, if that was you...
Unfortunately it was not

But the same year...

I would go down to this isolated creek in the woods, and build shit sculptures. Literally I'd make little people and once I tried making a castle with a piss moat.
Shit sculptures? Don't fucking lie to me. That's something the "artist" would do.
lol can you greentext some of your masterpieces?
If anyone wants another shit story, I have one.
>Literally I'd make little people

holy fuck op, hope you washed your hands
>Be me
>12 years old
>Fascination with the odd
>Have bathroom in room, not monitored
>Shit in the toilet without flushing every day
>this goes on for a month
>the smell was unbearable
>puke into toilet
>Keep pooping
>Stench goes downstairs
>Mother asks what smell is
>sees closed toilet lid
>opens it
>calls me fucked up
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Toilet at my school
Oh god lost it.
didn't know plank was into scat
I actually might have to poop right now. Any requests for a shit sculpture, for old time's sake? Timestamp will be included.
Shut up.
Not so much weird but funny.

>Be in tech studies class (like manual arts)
>Friend is a rebel, does not give a fuck about anything
>Gets some steel wool
>Wraps it around the prongs on an electrical plug
>Plugs it in and turns it on
>Big fucking bang and flash across the class room
>Teacher yells at him "What the fuck did you do"
>Says he did nothing
>Got away with it
Make a giraffe
Make one of those old Greek looking statues with the dicks and shit.
take a look, he's as hard as board.
Moot, do moot
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I have another shitty story. Pun intended.

> Be me in 7th grade
> Sitting in math, math sucks.
> Asks teacher if I can go to the bathroom, doesn't really have to go.
> fthepolice.gif
> Walks in bathroom, sees my bestfriend.
> We start talk for a few minutes when he notices one of the stalls toilets is almost up to the brim with liquid shit.
> I step foward bravely and state " Watch this!", as I flush the toilet.
> The toilets crappy contents bubble but don't go anywhere.
> I then begin to repeatedly flush the toilet.
> Toilet begins to overflow.
> Shit splashes and pours onto the ground like a volcano.
> Sees a kid's feet from under a nearby stall.
> Before I can say anything shit begins to leak into his stall.
> His feet are now covered in shit.
> " WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!? " he shouts in a familiar sounding voice.
> He begins bashing on the stall door as shit continues to flood in.
> "I'm going to kill whoever got shit on my new Jordans!" he yells at the top of his lungs.
> My friend and I see the stall's lock turning.
> ohfuck.jpg
> We begin to rush out of the bathroom.
> As we exit the bathroom I look back and see the stall door fling open.
> A furious kid rushes out only to slip on the pool of shit that inhabits the ground.
> My friend and I walk across the hall and pretend to be looking at posters.
> We see a kid exit the bathroom.
> He's covered in shit with his pants half down.
> He begins to waddle to the office.
> MFW when I notice he's the kid who bullied me throughout elementary.
> feelsgood.jpg
i once partially sat on my shirt while taking a shit and got shit on it, carried on my day and smeared shit in the living room chair. I was 12.
Omfg absolutely lost it at every part.


a hat
>be me
>year two (britbong, so about 6)
>really needed a shit
>requested to go to the toilet
>teacher says no, almost end of class
>in protest, drop pants and shit on teachers office chair
>mother called to school
>mother goes nuts and talks to headmaster
>mfw teacher gets suspended for not letting me shit
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Thank you, thank you!
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This also happened in the same stall several months later
Heil Shitler
This is bullshit

>be in grade school
>grill asks the gym teacher (p.e) to goto the bathroom
>says no
>she takes a piss with her clothes still on in the corner of the gym
>teacher doesn't say anything
>8th grade
OP better deliver. Meanwhile, I'll type you guys another story.
>Aboriginal anon friend is at movies with romanian friend from high school
>They go to the toilets
>Indian walks out of one that my aboriginal friend goes to
>Aboriginal anon decides to piss all over the toilets
>All over the bowl, rims lids flushing buttons
>They both walk out
>Romanian friend "Did you see what that indian guy did in that toilet!!"
jésus your mother never cleaned your loo ? I call bollocks
alright since this thread is all about piss and shit...

>Last day of high school
>Graduating, accepted to the best public university in my state(poorfag reporting in)
>Leave late because I procrastinated on getting all the appropriate signatures and paperwork turned into the administration of my school
>Start to walk out
>It really hits that I will never need to set foot in this trashy, ghetto ass school/town again
>Damn this place sucked
>Needed to piss
>Walk into bathroom
>Piss all up and down everything
>Walk out the door to the parking lot, extend middle both fingers behind me
>Less than a month later I moved out of that shit town
>Been almost 6 years and I haven't looked back.
>Return only to visit my mother and my 2 good friends who have since left.

Greatest piss of my life
That wasn't that good.
Bump for OP's sculpture
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OP here. Here's the poop I'll be working with. I'm using a peice of shit core 2 duo from 2009 so sorry if this is slow
also, gf story
>Gf in different school (6 or 7 y o)
>tells me that her and a few other girls got told off for messing around in bathroom
>for some reason girls in protest dropped their skirts/bottoms at teacher's window
>proceeded to moon the teacher whilst some pissed at the same time
>got in huge trouble for it
>confirmed by friends of gf in same school
Omfg, you better deliver,
You truly are a disgusting bastard.
>be me kindergarten like 5 or so
>yes I still remember that shit it was traumatizing
>in class listening to everyday bullshit
>suddenly have to poop
>raises hand like any good student would
>asks teacher to use restroom
>teacher denies my request
>10 minutes pass start crowning
>teach is going on the same fucking thing
>raise hand again and ask politely saying it's an emergency
>teacher denies again
>I thought you know what
>I'm just gonna poop
>immediately regret decision
>run up to the teach and say
>"this is your fault"
>run outside to restroom
>panic and grab shit from pants and throw into toilet
>wash hands 50 times
>walk back into class like nothing happened
>to this day I hate that bitch
The law prohibits suspensions from lasting over 14 days
idiot different places different laws shut the fuck up
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What the fuck is that supposed to be?
aww geeze
The poop was hard and not as scultable today and my Iphone broke so I have to use my shitty webcam
Bump for great justice
Op has delivered.
This is a law in the entirety of the United states

Don't make up stuff it's not funny!
holy fuck

you made a sculpture... out of poop
You seem like the type of person who handles food, enjoying that you can transmit your poop ghosts to other people.
In your story you wrote that it happened in 8th grade. Where else but in the us do they say grades?
OP do you have a scat fetish?
moron not fucking op
Doesn't mean you're not retarded

You have to be 18 to use middle school buddy
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Able to get digital cam

CHILDREN Children... shut the fuck up
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>have my babies, OP
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I have another story.

>Be me 7th grade.
>Swag fags always in halls spraying themselves with gallons of AXE.
>Our school had destroyed most of the Ozone layer by the 3rd marking period.
>Also, some kid apparently had an asthma attack due to the large amount of AXE.
>School bans AXE.
>I have a gym class with the swag fags.
>They're pissed at the new ban.
>Leader of the swag fags decides to rebel against the system.
>While we're in the locker room packing up after gym class the leader of the swag fags jumps on a bench and raises a can of AXE in the air.
>The other swag fags draw their weapons.
>They all begin spraying the AXE till the cans are empty.
>There's a layer of fucking fog on the floor due to the locker room having no ventilation.
>We all quickly leave the locker room.
>Next day we walk in the gym.
>The smell of AXE lingers in the air.
>Gym teacher comes in screaming.
>He throws his clip board.
>Apprently the asthma kid had gym the next hour.
>When he went to change in the locker room he was hit with a cloud of mustard gas.
>He fell over, gagging and had to be rushed to the hospital.
>Swag fag leader is suspended for war crimes.
>Swag fags surrender to the schools rules.
>Mfw I realise they almost killed a kid over AXE.
Nobody "forgets" to Wash their hands after taking a shit, you disgusting faggot. Being a child does not even make up for it
Some dude just made a shit sculpture and you're worried about that guy not washing his hands?
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Bitch about it some more
Fucking kek.

Today OP was not a fag.

Heil Shitler!
Its kids like you that caused my school to take away our "privileges" of having a door on the bathroom. Seriously, they took our fucking door
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seriously lol'd
Here's another story

>Be me
>same year
>12 years old
>Easter party at school (back when they still had them)
>Easter egg hunt thing
>Could be opened and have things inserted into them
>Devious mind
>Grab about 10 eggs
>shove into pants
>go to bathroom
>Poop into all 10 eggs
>Class is dismissed
> After they leave I hide eggs
> Class comes back
>easter egg hunting time
> Hear a scream
>See girl with poop all over the place
>laugh inside
>People keep opening poop eggs
>Ruined the hunt
>poop all over
>they never knew who did it
Currently pooping @3:59 am
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... And I thought your shit sculptures were fucked up.
Top kek
Yes because hes acting casually about it, OP is obviously out of reach
seconded. oh god my sides
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yes you are you little shit
go guzzle cum faggot this is me not op moron
Bump, might post another story.
Do it
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My sides are orbiting Alpha Centari!!!
Are you from Alberta?
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>Be me.
>About 12 at the time.
>At friends house, had been watching horror movies and shit.
>Later, my friend and I are jumping on his trampoline.
>It's like 11 at night so it's pretty fucking dark out.
>His dog is sitting by the trampoline tied up with its leash.
>Dog begins barking.
>Suddenly we hear a crash.
>His dog stands up, barking louder.
>We hear a unholy screach or terror.
>A dark mass rushes by, a few meters away.
>It's too dark to make out what it is.
>We can see it beginning to turn back around towards us.
>We flip shit, thinking about all those horror movies.
>We untie his dog.
>His dog runs at the thing.
>More shrieks of terror.
>His dog chases the beast down the road.
>We hear the shrieks trail off in the distance.
>We go inside and hide.
>Wake up the next morning.
>His mom yells at us for not letting the dog in the night before.
>She says the dog was full of mud.
>My friend apologizes but doesn't tell his mom what happened.
>We find out a few days later that his neighbors horse had somehow busted through its fence.
>They say it was probably spooked or something.
>Realize the shrieks were the distressed neighs of a horse.
>They never find their horse.
> MFW I think about how we untied his dog to chase after a "monster" that was actually just a horse.

In my defense I never knew horses could make such a sound.
did someone say zoopoo?
I would love to be that cow
That must have felt so fucking good to poop out
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>be me
>year 11 (britbong)
>don't want to be a prefect, that shit sounds fucking boring
>never ask to be a prefect
>notice the list and see that i've been put to the top of the list for prefecting
>at our school a shitload of people applied so all the people who didn't get a prefecting job were pissed as fuck to see i was recomended and chosen even though i didn't ask
>turns out that teachers think i am "responsible" for some fucking reason
>few weeks in some ten men faggot is pissed that i got the job so he comes to my station and tries to piss me off but i really couldn't give a fuck
> eventually he starts to anyone and make fun of other people include a hot chick i knew who got a prefecting duty in the same area
>decide enough is enough
>mother-fucker has been bothering me the majority of my time at school
>"dude just fuck off, no one likes you and you're just making yourself look even more stupid than you are"
>"lol fuck you anon
>faggot slaps me in the face
>punch him in the jaw full on knocking him backwards a couple of steps
>he tries to hit me back but just gets a weak shot on my cheek
>smash his face as hard as i can twice before he tries to run
>grab him by his leg to stop him running
>"we ain't done here"
>throw him down the stairs we were on causing him to smash his head on the back wall
>tell him to fuck off because he's just an embarrasment
>get icsolated for a day and am championed as king of the nerds by beating the shit through the guy
>worth it
Did you still get to be a prefect?
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Bump. Another story coming.
yeah suprisingly enough i didn't get the job taken off me, i think it's down to the fact the teachers thought i was responsible and that i had just flipped my shit but in all honesty i just didn't like the guy and wanted to beat the shit out of him.
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>Be me.
>Be in 3rd grade.
>Out at recess.
>No one wants to play with me.
>Sitting at the top of the slide, alone.
> Hear the warning cry of a retard.
>Look out at this patch of empty land behind of school.
>See this kid push the retard down.
>He takes the retard's shoe.
>Retard activates rage mode and begins running after the kid.
>This kid is fast but the retard is fueled by autrenaline.
>Retard jumps at the kid and tackles him.
>See retard biting the kid.
>Retard bites his neck and stomach.
>Retard reclaims his shoe and walks off.
>I'm flipping shit because I had watched Dawn of the Dead recently.
>Kid just laying there.
>I fucking hide in the slide for 20 minutes until the teacher blows the whistle for everyone to come in.
>Kid is still laying out in the distance.
>We go back to class.
>Teacher notices the kid is missing.
>She calls the office and tells them.
>They search outside and find him laying there.
>His parents are called and the kid is taken to the hospital.
>He had minor internal bleeding that didn't need any serious medical treatment.
>He was just in av lot of pain.
> To this day I still can't believe I actually thought there was zombie apocalypse and didn't help the kid.
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Heil Shitler!
This thread turned out better than I expected
I don't know anon. It's been a pretty shitty thread.
Don't worry I have another. Yes a ton of stuff has happened to me.
this happened in primary school once, some guy smeared shit in the toilets we had a big assembly and he actually came forward for his crimes lol
lol @ wrong thread
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9 ????
0 ??????????
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????? ??????? ??? ?????? ????????
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Australian here, we say our grades.
Though australia = USA
Only in some parts of Australia, actually. I'm from Vic and say year 8 but my friend from qld says grade 8.
Sorry for being a faggot. I'm following both threads and I'm on a tablet.
>Be me.
>Be in 6th grade.
>Had lived near Detroit at the time.
>On my bus after school.
>We have a substitute bus driver today.
>Some fat fuck takes a whole strand of those little fire crackers.
>He shoves them in the vents that runs under the seats.
>They go off.
>It sounds like a fucking machine gun
>Bus driver quickly turn into someones yard.
>Some other fat fuck (Lets call him Fat Fuck #2) falls and smashes his face on the floor.
>His nose begins bleeding.
>Bus driver is in "oh fuck" mode.
>She thinks we actually got shot up.
>She asks if everyone's okay.
>Fat fuck #2 stands up.
>Blood is dripping down his face.
>By this time the homeowners of the property our bus was now on come out of the house.
>Our bus driver flips and tells them they need to call 911 and that there's been a drive by shooting.
>She's basically crying now.
>We had to explain to her there wasn't actually a shooting.
>She's still crying as she drives the rest of us home.
Haha thanks Anon, I needed a good laugh.
This fucking thread should be archived, for the glory of the Shit Picasso.
No prob. Look at my many others stories I've uploaded. Not as funny but still good memories.
I am Poocasso
I agree.
Ah fair enough, QLD here so that may be it
Sorry. We don't speak Communist.
My countryman further up the thread is spamming. And were that it was communism still
You assign names to and store your poop like fine wines?
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Here's a few of my experiences

>Wonder why we have to piss in the toilet
>Decide to piss in the corner of the stall instead of the toilet and tell other people to do the same
>The combined pissing forces fuck the floor up and it starts to bend and warp
>Get caught eventually, not exactly sure how but fairly certain they had to start watching kids piss to make sure they didn't piss on the floor

I used to be a shit of a kid, also

>Primary school
>Toilets notoriously just have an eternal couple mm deep covering of piss and unbearable stench
>Kids love just throwing sandwiches, bananas, etc into the toilets, stomping urinal cakes
>Someone begins taking stuff from lost property and flushing it, once see a hat in the toilet
>One day head in and in the first toilet there's a shoe that someone has shit on, assume it's from lost property
>After lunch teacher informs us that a student has lost a shoe and asks if anyone has seen it
Was just posted on /r/4chan not by me
those little plebians are fast
oh so your that one guy every school has
i eat poo

> sophomore year in dutch latin school
> biology experiment requires us to swab different items from different places in the school
> genius.mkv
> I go to the boy's room and swab under the edge of the toilet despite its grossness
> this crazy fucking girl that i like to hang with does the same thing

> after a few days our petri dish has some yellowish spots
> but the girl earlier mentioned has fucking ecosystems growing in her petridish

> she whispers in my ear that she didn't actually swab the toilet rim
> instead she stuck it in her ass while in the bathroom stall, swabbed the petridish and flushed the cotton stick

I was 12 and what is this
Do you like it?
It tastes pretty good
Whose poop?
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4th grade
I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom and she said no. I tried to hold it in but eventually I had to pee so bad that I peed in my desk. Little did I know that the back of the desk had 2 holes so it came out the front in two streams. Everyone started to notice.
They didn't even draw it correctly.
That's the Hindu sign for peace.
so uh

where is the shit in this story, eh?
MY poop
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>I loved cumming on my friends' chair, before they came and sat down
whats a prefect
im swedish and i say grade when i use english. you dumb cunt
Well actually it's pointing the wrong way, it means nothing.
haven't you ever seen/read harry potter, you fuck?
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I dont think I could find seven differences between this and a ape.
I don't think you guys know how to poop correctly, because done properly these things should never happen.
> Be me in kindergarden
> 4k people in my city but only 3-5 niggers
> one niggerkid in kindergarden
> me and my fucked up friend decides to trap him
> traps him in a bust treatning to beat him
> friend comes up with an idea
> piss in a bucket and make him drink it
> pissithalffull.jpg
> He drinks it
> nigger kid didnt even puke
> Grown up comes asking what we are doing
> nigger kid is crying
> he tells grown up that he fell and that we are supporting him
> feels like a British slave boss
I would enter classrooms and find the textbook of those beautiful/hot schoolmates and cum on them and place it back.
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also saved
>had welding class sophomore year
>never did any work
>spent whole class periods making small daggers
>used said daggers to cut holes in uv curtains
>never found out who it was

>be 8th grade
>go to bathroom right after some other kid
>hear obvious sounds of fap
>GTFO back to class
>kid comes back and is touching everything
Fuck that fat ass
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>be me
>1st grade
>k thru 12 school
>have to shit really bad
> pull down my pants in the stall
> turd the size of my 1st grade head comes flying out of my asshole and lands on the floor in front of toilet
> weigh my options
> pick up the massive shit with my hand
>open stall
> throw it in the urinal
>shit flys everywhere
>cry in the corner for 5 minutes
>walk out like nothing ever happened
>mfw nobody knew it was me
>mfw people were checking security footage for a highschooler
It's like the pooping bandit, only...more retarded.
>poop eggs

Well, I lolled
He's talking about the processor in his computer lol

I fucking hated those kids...Fucking poop everywhere. I wish I could choke one of those weird little shits with my bare hands.
When I had my very first REAL crush at like 12, I wrote "Anon + Anon" in shit in a nearby sewer. I also used to coat my poop in gold spray paint then spray with febreeze and put them in a cardboard box near the creek.
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Made a rock song of the op
Noice. I'm going to make my own in a second
fucking lol
doo doo a dallop of doo doo

good one anon made me laugh
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You were in 7th grade when swag fags were a thing?


dOOd you rock (not so much your microphone tho)
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made this just for you
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>1st grade
>Watching some random movie
>too shy to ask teacher
>Sit there for a long time trying to make myself ask
>Couldn't hold it and pee all over the seat and floor
>not that many people notice and teacher comes up to me pissed
>brings me to office and gives me some ugly ass shorts to wear
>doesn't call my mom and she never found out.
>pee on the floor in the bathroom the next day (note the bathroom was in the class)
>nobody knows who did it.
>Be me.
>Be 12
>On school holidays
>Every day my friends and I would ride our bikes for hours.
>Have to shit
>Find a house with a long driveway
>Taking a shit in the front yard
>Hear the front door slam and a man screaming
>Run with shit half hanging out of my ass
>End up riding home covered in shit
You taught that niglet his place, you've done the lords work anon
> weigh my options
Because just walking away wasn't a valid option?
my thoughts exactly...

I like how you all needs to ask to go to the toilet, in my country we're just going and if the teacher would ask us why we're leaving the classroom, we'd just tell them we'd be right back.
Well the teacher can't physically stop you either without getting in trouble, it's more of a courtesy thing. So if you really want to go you can just walk out.
I didn't read the 12 part so I thought you were 4 or 5 'till I read the responses. So what you now have a mental age of a teenager?
>gym teacher (p.e)
Who would be confused by that? In the US at least we call it both of them all the time. Is it just one over in britbong land?
Similar thing happened at my preschool.
>Ausfag preschool
>kid shits on playground
>middle of day in summer ~35 degrees C
>heated the sht enough to make it go even more rotten but was in enough shade to not get hardened and lose its smell
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