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ITT: Women Translations
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 212
Thread images: 41
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ITT: Women Translations


"I don't know what I want"
>I'm seeing 2-3 guys other than you and I can't decide who to be with"

"I need to fine myself"
>I want as many random cocks in me as possible.

"I'm not like other girls"
>I'm like every single girl you have ever met.
>>
>>545741647
"I'm mature for my age"
>when we break up I will tell the police that you knew I was 11 the whole time
>>
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"I'm a single mom and my kids are my life, I am looking for a good loving man"
>I fucked up my life and need a beta to come in and financially support me and my bastards.

"I dont usually do this"
>I've done this many times before"

"Most of my friends are guys, girls are too much drama"
>I monkey branch in case I need a late night dicking"
>>
I'm confused
>I don't find it important enough to make a decision about right now
>>
>>545741921
Every sodding time.
>>
>>545741647
these were my ex's exact words before we broke up. no bullshit.

Women are fucking retarded.
>>
>>545741921
HAHAHAHAHHA
>>
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>>545742065
Lol ouch.
>seeing a chick with a kid
>>
>>545741647
"I love you"
> Tell me that you love me
>>
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"I'm not THAT kinda girl"
>I am exactly THAT kind of girl but I don't want the judgement.

"I'm not stupid"
>I've been tricked countless times before and feel like im being tricked now.

"He's just a friend"
>If we get into a big argument, I'll seek comfort in his bed.
>>
ITT: Foreveralones who blame women for being a bachelor instead of taking responsibility for why women don't want them.
>>
>>545742746

Let me know if you fall into any of the following categories:

>Beta White Knight
>Girl
>Troll
>Never had real interaction with women and see them as pure of heart princesses.
>>
>>545741647
"Yes."
>no

"No."
>yes
>>
>>545742746
White knight.
Fuck you, you stupid beta piece of shit. Die a horrible death, countless time, you little asshole!

Fuck you, i am mad at you. You stupid inbreed bastard. You are everything thats wrong with this world.
>>
>>545743047
Im pretty sure you got this wrong.

Its more like this:
"Yes."
>no

"No."
>no
>>
>>545741647
I'm an animal in bed.
> Pet me and feed me while I lay here.
>>
>>545742065
>>545742316
If this means that you can get a woman way out of your league, her kids are young enough to accept you as a father and she's up for more kids, it's acceptable.
>>
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"I'm an independent women"
>I'm tried of working and need to find a man to provide for me.

"I love watching sports"
>I like getting drunk at games then causing a scene to get attention.

"Do you like what I did with my hair"
>I just wasted $50+ on some minor changes and I want some goddamn compliments.
>>
>>545743278
lost
>>
>>545743389

Its never acceptable (unless she is rich) to date a women that has kids. Once she shits out kids she is no longer out of your league no matter how good she looks.

There are plenty of single women without kids, why are you looking for name brand merchandise in the Damage Goods Discount Bin?
>>
>>545743278
Oh thanks for correcting me kind sir
>>
>>545743521

UGLY, but their thighs are off the hook.
>>
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>>545743934
It's not a matter of looking faggot.
>not letting women come to you
>>
"I was raped when I was 9"
>I'm a whore.
>>
I don't get mad over these threads, most of this shit is true.

But men bitch as much as women do, you're proving it by making this thread.

Stop bitching over women and start to fuck them like they deserve, don't become like them you stupid idiots.

You're worst that with knights.

>urrr women are bitches
>urrr they're fucking stupid

are you 10 ?
Damn I only see this shit on 4chan, never heard guy bitching as much as you do in real life.
>>
>>545744409
top kek
>>
>>545743389
Im pretty sure its not.

A few things to think about:
Why is she single? The father left for a reason.
Does she have money problems? My bet is on yes.
What kind of education does she have? Probably hairdresser or some other shit tier education.
What kind of job does she have? My guess is she works as a cashier at some clothing store.

So tell me, is it REALLY acceptable?
>>
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"I was raped"
>I regretted hooking up with a guy so I decided to ruin his life

"Where are all the good men"
>I've had my pussy battered by bad boys to the point where I can't even walk into a meat deli without being accused of theft.
>>
"Im so happy with my new boyfriend, hes so tall and intelligent"
>please fuck me senseless before i kill myself
>>
>>545744450
Obviously you don't listen to your self then
>>
>>545742746
for the most part this is true. men and women are very much the same ... we act different because of society's expectations and influences.

>>545741647
>>545742175
there are some very nice women out there that are worth your time, unfortunately the chances that you will find one before your 30's or 40's are very slim
>>
>>545744389

The women who come to you are desperate as fuck. Enjoy being taking advantage of.
>>
>>545744450
who's bitching? making fun of people is not bitching.
>>
>>545744701
fucking lost again
>>
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>>545741921
>>
>>545744842
this

I know that some woman are really stupid but if you seriously believe that this apply for ALL of them, then you just haven't met a nice one.
>>
>>545744450

Guys can't bitch in real life because then they get swarmed by White Knights and Angry Feminists.

Also this thread is in good fun, but clearly you are taking it seriously and got offended.
>>
>>545743934
>she is no longer out of your league no matter how good she looks
Duh. That's what I meant. Kids are an equalizer. If you are going to raise someone else's kids you better get at least a 8/10 in the bargain. Obviously if you're rich and/orgood looking yourself you need not apply for the second-hand pussy program.
>>
>>545744450
You should go back and read what you wrote and read that everyone else wrote and see who is bitching now you little bitch
>>
>>545744450
playing the sage game posting comments they dont really believe in just for the sake of getting away with bitchin'. now whose a fucking 9 year old there mate? Disgusting. Man up unless you have a stinky vag explaining your butthurt, also suck a dick will ya?
>>
>>545744685

This guy gets it.

Also it boggles my mind that a lot of men are willing to settle for women who don't aspire to be more than a Cashier or Waitress.
>>
>>545744701
This. 10/10
>>
>>545744842
>>545745012

I know there are good women out there, but they are maybe 20% of the female population. (and I'm being very generous with that number)
>>
>>545745073

Ok, sorry for the misunderstanding.
>>
>>545742746

*claps*

though i did laugh at some of these.
>>
"I don't think I can give you what I want"
>Thanks for fucking me a couple of times now leave

"Let's try anal"
>You're boring the shit out of me so now my asshole is ready to go for a dicking
>>
>>545743389
Sure, if
>out of your league

means you want someone who has no concept of self control, critical thought, or competent decision making, go ahead and date that teenage mom who's babydaddy fucked off.

I prefer to date someone who does have those capabilities though.
>>
>>545745709
she lets you try anal and you're bitching.. Really?
>>
>>545743389
Nope, still not acceptable. Taking care of someone else's kid(s) makes you a beta faggot. There is no reasoning your way around it.
>>
I'm an eccentric person
>I'm batshit insane

I'm a free spirit
>I'll fuck as many guys as possible, whenever possible

I'm ugly
>Compliment me for the next 10 minutes

I don't like drama
>I will have an argument over the smallest things then have a mental breakdown
>>
"Im finally just doing me!"
>sleeps with half the school
Actually happened, i dont know who would want it after what i did, rekt those sugar walls
>>
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>>545745479
I agree with you anon. If there's something I regret in life, it was when I cheated on my girl whose a member of that population. All because I was thinking with my dick. She was my best friend and lover. We're still together, but everything changed I guess, though I'm not losing hope about her. I still see that person growing old with me. Sorry, in between all the laugs I had ITT, i just realized sometimes, we, i mean I am the reason she was like that. But this shieeet's God tier fun to do when with my boys.
>>
>>545742065

#3 is accurate as snowballs
>>
girls have cheated on me
girls have cheated on their guys for me
girls are all whores, just take them as they come and move on
>>
>>545745994
>Compliment me for the next 10 minutes

oh my fucking God are you an omniscient great one? Fuck. 10/10
>>
>>545744701
11/10 would lose my seids again
>>
>>545744701
>"I was raped"
>>I regretted hooking up with a guy so I decided to ruin his life
This.

"Friend" of mine did exactly this.

>tells me the story
>"er, that sound more like you had sex with him and regret it"
>"no uh, HE RAPED ME YOU ASSHOLE"
>wants to take him to court

What a retarded bitch.
>>
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>>545741647
"We need to talk."
>pic related
>>
>>545744685
> Why is she single? The father left for a reason.

> Implying people never die
>>
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"I enjoy staying in instead of going out"
>All my friends have settled down and all I do with my time now is browse Facebook and Pinterest.

"I have strong family values"
>It wouldn't take much for a good looking man to convince me to cheat on my husband.
>>
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>>545744872
What?
How can they take advantage of me if they're the desperate one.
Nigger you're stupid.
>>
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I'm fine
>Ask me what's wrong
>Then say exactly what I want to hear in response even though I'm not telling you what I want
>>
"I'm not looking for a date right now."
>I don't want to date you in particular

"Virginity is not about the body, it's about the mind"
>I've had so many dicks inside me it's impossible to count

"You are a good friend"
>You buy me stuff and give me all kinds of attention without asking for anything back and I love that. I'll never fuck you btw

"Ugh, he's such an asshole!"
>I will masturbate while thinking of having him inside me tonight
>>
>>545746402
>implying they do more often than not
>i am now greentexting everything because that means im an oldfag
>just a little heads up for all the newfags in here
>>
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>>545744701
>into a deli
>>
>>545746391

I'm surprised she didn't take you to court as well. You practically raped her by questioning it.
>>
"i just dont see him like that"
>i see how he would be an amazing guy but i would rather fuck his friends
>>
>>545742334
This is accurate as fuck.

One of my chick friends always says this to me and I never say it back to her, only have once or twice. But she fucking expects me to say it back to her.

Among other things, I'm getting really tired of her shit. I'm eventually going to cut myself out of my own friend group because I'm sick of this shit.
>>
>>545746402

Single Mom Widows are maybe 10% of the total single mom population.
>>
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>>545741647
ITT: Bitter virgins who have irrational hate towards women.

>some of these are right though
>>
Oh I almost forgot

I don't want anything for [insert holiday]
>Buy me expensive jewelry or I'll talk shit about you behind your back

I don't get this shit. If people ask me what I want for my birthday or something I usually say nothing which means I actually want nothing. Why the fuck do women have to speak in code?
>>
>>545746754
The more women I have sex with, the less and less I respect them as a gender. It becomes clearer and clearer that they are dumb sluts.
>>
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>>545743934
>why are you looking for name brand merchandise in the Damage Goods Discount Bin?
fucking kek
>>
"Sure, do whatever you want."
>Don't you fucking dare
>>
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>>545744842
>tfw i met her when i was 20
>tfw life is great
>>
>>545746391

I dated a girl like this.

She is now ugly, mostly alone and has no direction in life and has been strung out on more drugs than I can count.
>>
>>545741647
>I fucking love you. No seriously your sense of humor makes me laugh and I fucking love it"

???
>>
>>545746461

>Single mom hits on you
>You are so overwhelmed by the female attention since you never get any that you foolishly take her out for a free meal.
>etc.......
>You're now her bank.

Of course that is a hypothetical and I'm sure you'll take it seriously.

Typically girls who approach are one of the following:

>Shameless Whores
>Cougars
>Desperate

(sometimes all 3 in 1)
>>
>>545746697
>>545746754
Both true !
>>
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>>545746512
>>
>>545741647
>"I need to fine myself"
Fine herself? lol
>>
>>545741647
"You'll like my friend, she's a beautiful person"
>my friend is fat

"You'll like my friend, she's got a bubbly personality"
>my friend is fat
>>
>>545741647
>>545742065
>>545742514
>>545742931
>>545743521
>>545743934
>>545744701
>>545744872
>>545745064
>>545746425

Are you a grill or just someone who understands how things work? You seem to know a lot. Also if you're not a grill, do you have a gf?
>>
>>545746718
Seconded

This 5/10 who was eye fucking me to oblivion, while we were friends always spent her extra time letting me know that she loves me.

When she didnt get a "I love you too" back she started questioning me if I dont like her, sobbing and just in general became annoying to be around.


On the plus side, she bought me drinks and paid for my meals when we went to lunch.

I felt like I was abusing her, but then I realized women do this al the time.
>>
>>545747301
Didn't put out. $50 fine
>>
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Great thread guys, you're making my fucking day! Keep it up please!
>>
>>545747310
Fuck this is one of the worst. If anyone ever sets me up I demand to see a picture of them from that day before I meet them.

It should be:
>my friend looks like a bubble
>>
"I'm fine."
>You better fucking realize what's actually wrong, or I'm going to be an icy bitch for the foreseeable future.
>>
"I found myself emotionally attracted to someone else"

< I am fucking an albino named Ricardo because he has more money than you. We're getting married.

Fucking whore. Pic is random replacement
>>
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>>545747216
"It's my body and i can do what i want with it!"
>I'm an attention whore with daddy issues and need men to love me so i can be a huge cunt to them.
>I also like to create arguments for no reason just for the hell of it because I'm a women.
>>
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>>545747092
>she's in my program at school
>date some other bitch
>friend's with the mom chick, she buys me pot every now and again
>she dates some dude
>i break up with my gf
>start hanging with the mother and start to fall for her
>she breaks up with her dude on valentines day
>we start fucking a couple weeks later
>start dating
>happiest I've been in a long time
>>
>>545741647
"Can we stop at starbucks?"
>Can I flip your bank account upside down pleeeeeaaaaaassseee?
>>
>>545746942
It's just genetics millons of years of evolution at work
>>
>>545746865

Accepting gifts is such a hassle, I don't know why anyone over the age of 20 still expects gifts. If I need or want something I'll get it for myself.

The gesture is nice, but then I feel compelled to get the person something in return.
>>
"I don't have herpes."

>"I have herpes."

Fuckin bitch
>>
>>545747370
its a trick it doesnt know anything. this is more of a list for kids in highschool
>>
>>545747628
reverse greentexto. 3/10.
>>
>>545741647
SAUCE!!!??
>>
>>545747692
Yeah exactly. I never actually want anything when people ask me either because whatever I wanted I already bought. If my parents really insist on getting something for my birthday they'll just give me money even though I feel weird taking it.
>>
>>545745903
no ones bitching shut the fuck up and look at the thread topic
now get the fuck out you retarded useless piece of shit god fucking damn
>>
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>>545746942
I've only been in one relationship and I think that most women are fucking slags (being 20)

Guys are fucking retarded too but women are on a completely new level

It probably makes me an angsty teenager but yeah, fuck it
>>
It's actually pretty easy for single moms to get new boyfriends. In comparison for single dads to get girlfriends. I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world to have a 7.5/10 girlfriend now.
>>
>>545743521
>"I love watching sports"
>>I like getting drunk at games then causing a scene to get attention

bingo.
>>
>>545747692
yellow dude write more funny shit
>>
ITT: Everything my ex said these past 2 weeks. Breakups suck. I can confirm that most of these are true.
>>
>>545748082
But on the other hand getting a friend a gift that he really wants and NEEDS is priceless.

The look on their face is just priceless when they realize you figured them out.

The rule i follow when buying gifts is that it always has to be practical. Something that they will use and something that they need.

It doesnt have to be pretty, just useful.
>>
>>545746942
try faithfulness.
>>
>Do what you want

Read my mind and figure out exactly what it is that I want you to do and be ready for a shitstorm if you fuck up

>Why didn't you answer your phone?

I know you were with a woman you fucking scumbag, what's her name? Where does she live? What's her number? Is she younger than I am? Is she prettier than me? Does she have bigger boobs than me? What's her mother's maiden name? What school did her Dad go to? Where was the last place she went on holiday? What's her favourite colour? How many foreign countries has she visited? God you're such a fucking piece of shit I can't believe I trusted you I'm going to blow this so out of proportion and not give you time to explain
>>
>>545748187
Yeah I'm 21 and I've dealt with my share of girl dumbness in college. And i go to UCSC which is the most liberal, feminist bullshit spouting place I've ever experienced. Talking to some girls here is a complete joke.
>>
>>
>>545741921
God, I hate it when this happens.
>>
>>545744409
Can confirm.

>source:am someone who knows multiple sexual abuse victims and am sexting with one right now
>>
Fidelity leads to crushed hearts.
>>
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>>545748501
>try faithfulness.
>>
>>545742065
>"Most of my friends are guys, girls are too much drama"

I fucking can't stand this shit. To me, it says that she can't be friends with other women because she sees them as competition, and therefor has dick on the brain way too much. Everything is about gaining attention from guys and that to me, spells slutiness.
>>
>>545748846
Fidelity not existing results in a messed up world
>>
I like being fucked by two guys at once.
>???


Help me out with this one guys. (She's a rich touring musician.)
>>
>>545747370

Not a girl, been in enough relationships to gain knowledge. Unlike many I learn from my mistakes, now I share my wisdom with others in a hilarious manner.
>>
>>545741647
"I'm not mad."
>You fucked up.

"I don't want to argue"
>I fucked up

"I'm not letting this go."
>Apologize to me or I'll withhold sex.

"Why does it matter who's wrong?"
>I have never apologized to anyone in my life.
>>
>>545747930

Felicia Clover.
>>
"I'm not sure if I know you enough anon."
>Im fucking my ex on the side and itd be a pain if i lost the opportunity to have sex one more time.


"I'm disappointed that you think about sex all the time."
>I'm a nympho
>>
>>545749026
I think she would like you to meet some bisexual guy and get a three-way marriage

Wouldn't surprise me
>>
"I'm not crazy"
>I'm bat shit fucking insane

"I just want a good guy"
>I want a fucking criminal

"I just want to settle down"
>I'm done getting my pussy rammed like a whore
>>
>>545742931
aside from regualar betas what else is even on /b/
>>
>>545747462

glad you're enjoying it but I'm pretty much out of material. Trying to think of some more at the moment and will post as they come to me.
>>
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>>545749062
>>
>>545749083
>https://mega.co.nz/#!XAdTzQYB!Kx9edGRz6pWxQ44WQLonYnzUKOc6fqio4yACrxWuJvk
>>
>>545746425
"I enjoy staying in instead of going out"
>I'm a fat fuck who doesn't go out and exercise, and enjoys the comforts of food to make up for my lack of a love life while reading slash/yaoi fanfics to fulfill my unanswered sexual needs.

FTFY
>>
>>545741647
omg her boobs
>>
>>545749062
>Apologize to me or I'll withhold sex.
This would never work on me. I'm abnormally content with jerking myself off instead of fucking.
>>
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>>545747645

I'd like to add to this one as well:

""It's my body and i can do what i want with it!"
>I suck dick for validation.
>>
>>545744842
No. You're wrong. We act differently because we think differently. Our brains are "wired" differently.
>>
>>545742931
>>Beta White Knight
>>Troll
but my trolling cna use some work how ever i can reconize it now so i have that for me.
>>
>>545748412

I feel like a philosopher in this thread, I'll share some quotes with you that I've come across. I can't take credit for these though.

>“You can usually look at a girl and see the number of guys she's slept with. That's why women don't last long in the porn industry; they age in dog years.”
>>
Guys just find an awkward shut in. They're great.
>>
>>545749654
>4chan: facts
>>
>>545742065
you speak much truth, opie. please explain why a girl ("normal": straight, pretty, feminine, composed, literate) would prefer many male friends but only 1 or 2 (if any) female friends
>>
I'm tired, im gonna go home
>gonna go fuck other guys

Oh yeah he texts me but i never reply
>i fuck him
>>
"Of course you can go out with your friends"

>I'm going to text you every 5 minutes and if you don't reply within 30 seconds I'm going to go ahead and assume you're cheating on me


"I just want a nice guy, but I always end up with an arsehole"

>I'm only attracted to men who are tall, dominant and aggressive and continue to be surprised when they cheat on me
>>
>>545749765
OMFG that joke isn't even perfect but with this thread behind it for context i'm just cracking up so hard.
>>
I'm not saying I cheat or condone cheating. Im saying I simply dont trust bitches... and I have turned into a bull I.e. fuck a cow once then on to the next one. Dont trust a word a highly desirable woman says in a relationship. At least take it with a grain of salt. Always be the one less committed outwardly... regardless of how inwardly in love you are. Trust me on this bro.

"I think I'm average!" (Post-compliment)

<< Daddy never loved me enough or showed it. (You show it? Express it... you'll be hitting it)
>>
>>545746697
>"i just dont see him like that"

More like, "I'm just not attracted to you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings so I'm sugar-coating it."
>>
>>545741647
"I'm on my period"
>I'm gonna act like a complete bitch for no reason
>>
>>545746571
k Heaven. Love you too
>>
>>545749807
I'd like to find one but I'm an awkward shut in myself so how would I?
>>
>>545744409
I was raped by a family member at 5 years old and I'm the biggest slut on the block.
>>
>>545749765

>"Thinking you can solve world hunger by spending someone else's money is the exact kind of mindset that is causing crippling debt in first world nations"

>"Marriage is putting so much trust in a women that you will guarantee her a decent life even if she chooses to leave you. If that women loves you enough or even half as much as you love her then she should be happy with a domestic partnership. Marriage is nothing but an ego boost to women and a way to scam men."
>>
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>>545746942
"It becomes clearer and clearer that they are dumb sluts."

>implying this isn't what a Republican, male-dominated society wants
>implying that it doesn't help these women get a mate

Seriously, at least here in the States, more women are going to college than men IIRC. If women make the same amount (or more money) than men, why would women bother fucking with men at all?
>>
>>545750017
innerned
>>
>>545748501
Try not making assumptions.
>>
>>545750017
poast on 4chani
>>
>>545750043

Last one that i have.

>"I don't understand the compulsion or need to start a family. It is financially crippling while completely tying you down to a world of responsibility. I see very little benefit to it whatsoever. My main goal in life is to be as debt free as possible while remaining wealthy enough to enjoy life. Is that too much to ask, or am I going to be hounded about how I am missing out and will never know the joys of parenthood for the rest of my life?"
>>
>>545749654
>>
>>545746272
>gushing this much for something that literally everyone with a brain knows too

How's your third week on 4chan going?
>>
>>545745073
>second hand pussy
>less than 8/10 implied or
>your own hand is pussy, implying her lack of romantic qualities
i wouldnt want either one! too many people today to settle for less, anon.
>>
>>545747645

Is that a tiny penis in her hands?
>>
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>>545748082

I usually get money as well, it does feel odd taking it.....because I use the money they just gave me to buy that person a gift.

so basically they are buying themselves a gift.....? Fuck, i don't know hahaha
>>
>>545750336
the one-eyed is king among the blind.
*tips*
>>
>>545750062
Feminist faggot alert
>>
>>545750063
Tried dating sits but most of the chicks on there can't keep up a conversation because they're so fucking boring.
>>
>>545750508
*tips*
>>
"I love my kids they are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."

? I envy your freedom and hope you get indentured slaved too
>>
"I sleep with my dog"
>I'm an insecure bitch who needs to feel superior to something

"now I see who my REAL friends are"
>I dont have real friends, and never will, because im a borderline sociopathic selfish bitch who only does this for attention
>>
>>545750062
i DO to go college in the states. Probably at one of the most liberal schools imaginable in California. My "Republican, male-dominated" ideology seems tame and moderate compared to their feminist extremisms.
>>
>>545741647

Aww, poor little /b/tards. Maybe you got blown off by your 2nd grade love, maybe your girlfriend was unfaithful in high school, but what all this boils down to is you, and how you reacted to those events.

You got cheated on so you call all women whores who just want their pussies stuffed by literally any other guy from you.

Your girl broke up with you for another man, so all women are cheating and only looking for men so they can use them and suck 'em dry like some succubus from hell.

Your reactions dictated these feelings. You called her a whore because it never one crossed your mind that you didn't deserve that behavior, that you are better off without her. But you don't have to hate them, let alone their entire gender being degraded to soulless whores and sluts. In fact, doing that makes you look like an immature baby, throwing a lifelong temper tantrum because you couldn't have the pretty toy.

Maybe you were "too nice". Honestly, I've never met anyone who likes a pushover. Your innate ability to flip from being the "nicest guy ever" to a raging, screaming child shows what a facade the nice guy ploy is anyways.

ITT: Men Translations

"I'm a gentleman!"
>I have never touched a woman

"Fuck man shes just a psycho"
>I lack the ability to understand anyone but myself

"Friendzoned"
>Somebody better and more genuine than me came along and she realized she'd be better off with him

"Girls say they want a nice guy, then they date assholes"
>I've been single for so long why will nobody date me
>>
I don't like drama/I'm random
>Literally everything I do or say is for attention or to start controversy and then I will kick off, cause a scene call everyone a jerk or hater when they call me out on my bullshit.
>So lonely why can't I find a good guy?
I meet people on the internet that hold my attention for more than a week and fuck them the first time I meet them, giving them a good judgement of my character and morals, and date them after for 4 weeks then break up with them hysterically and blame them for just wanting me for sex/not talking enough to me/spending too much time with his mates/being a criminal/being called too needy/not being good looking enough then I will repeat the cycle over again in a few weeks and in the mean time do nothing but bitch and moan about everything.
I really hope you read this, Nicola...
>>
"I can't wait to give you the biggest hug ever! I've missed you so much, anon."
>"I'm going to give the weakest pussy shit one-arm hug you've ever felt."
>>
>>545749083

Classic butterface.
>>
>>545748963

This!

>They can't be friends because other women call them out on their slutiness, or they only have dick on the brain and since they won't fuck another woman for money ['cause they're harder to manipulate], they don't bother spending time with them.

Pic related.
>>
indeed, this applies in some degree to almost all of my ex's; acceptance was the sole reason for giving oral on some occassions. why? good question.
>>
I don't know anyone at this party, let's go home and have some fun.
>I sucked the dude next to you off last week, let's leave before he recognizes me and you find out.
>No, we're not actually gonna fuck when we get home.
>>
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>>545750879
>>
>>545750879
lol this faggot actually took the time to type that out!
>>
Amen brother. That's quite common lol...

"You used me for sex!"

<< I am completely susceptible to sweet words, compliments, and light kisses on the neck.
>>
>>545749062

Good post, can't believe these didn't come to my mind.
>>
Women are fucking cunts, whether young or old, but we still want to be with them.

Girls who are 20-30 now are the most arrogant fucks of all women in many generations. They are so mentally unstable its ridiculous. They think they're top shit, but are no better than anybody else, hell, they're worse. Women want guys are are Athletic, Toned and Jacked, but the guy trying to better himself is worthless to them.

Women want specifics, men just want to reproduce and have a family, yet they say men are pigs and scum.

Fucking cunts
>>
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>>545749062
"I don't want to argue"
>I fucked up

I've heard my mother use this one while arguing.

Holy Shit.
>>
>>545742746
Confirmed never had to deal with a woman before.
>>
>>545743213
how's summer?
>>
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>>545750879
ITT: Women are stupid, and I don't respect them.

That's right, I just have sex with them.
>>
>>545751195
He's kind of right though.
>>
Why do nice girls always go after assholes?
I'm not into pegging anyway.
>>
>>545745709
>"Let's try anal"

>>545745903
>she lets you try anal

>need to be told how to please your girlfriend
>need your girlfriend’s permission to fuck her in the ass
>gf has any say about that sort of thing to begin with

Consider an hero. Both of you.

Also:
"You’re the best fuck I ever had, Anon."
>Thanks for not being like those beta cunts on 4chan.
>>
>"I'm not like other girls"
I'm exactly like other girls
>"does this make me look fat"
tell me i'm pretty
>"are you really (insert doing something)"
Why do you have hobbies outside worshipping me
>"I'll be okay, I'm a big girl."
Prepare for the emotional shit storm you hear directly from her or her friends for the unforeseeable future.
>"I think we should take a break, we're just two different people."
I've been fucking or planning on fucking a couple dudes behind your back for a while, and ,if it doesn't work out, maybe you have a shot
>"You really get me anon."
Now this can mean one of to things depending on whether or not she wants to bang
Please come fuck my face (if she wants it)
Thank you for everything you buy me and all the stuff you do, so i'll make you have some sort of emotional attachment that won't really lead anywhere (if she doesn't)

and last but not least, the piece of resistance.
"I'm lonely"
oh fuck how many avenues can this take.
I'll give you five
I'm DTF (if you're new to talking, and she's into it)
If you come over here and impress me, either by buying me things or taking me somewhere, you might have a chance (long time friends, she kinda sees an attraction)
You're a beta faggot, but you get me shit and feed my ego so come compliment me (friendzone)
Even though we spend a lot of time together, i can't spend a moment without you kissing my ass (boyfriend who isn't getting any)
Even though we spend a lot of time together, I want some new dick and you'd hit the spot (dude on the side)
>>
>>545749890
first one. yep
>>
>>545751339
So what you'er trying to say is if we don't anal rape our girlfriends, we're beta cunts?
>>
>>545751253
and after 30?
>>
>>545743389
no, i demand to be put first. if a women with kids puts you first she is a horrible person and a shit mother... do you see the problem there?
>>
>>545751320

You mean you think you're right, right?
>>
>>545749440
>>545749062
>>545749269

Bill Burr:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNSt3wJXZk0
>>
>>545741647
Blah blah, whatever your OP said. Fucking christ look at those titties! THEY'RE PERFECT.
>>
>be a faggot
>at a club, celebrating bros birthday
>start talking to a girl
>me: "yeah were just here to have a laugh"
>her: "yeah, me too... like... I dont understand the people who go to clubs to find sex partners... gosh... like ... Im just here to have fun yknow"
>end up dancing with her later that night
>she starts dancing dirty
>I decide to mess with her head and get frisky
>she starts dry humping my leg and looking for a kiss
>"Im just here to have fun"
>ok.jpg

>another time talk with a girl at a pub
>shes flirting quite a lot
>she: "...too bad you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend"
>me: "I dont have a girl"
>she stats filrting even more obviously
>me: "wait, I thought you said you have a boyfriend!?"
>nofucksgiven.mpg

id laugh if it werent so depressing
>>
>>545751281
Show me your genitals, your genitals. What show me your genitals, your genitalia!
>>
>>545744685
> implying she couldn't have left the father.
>>
>>545750879
When you can have anything you want, it's easy to think that everyone else is pathetic and weak.
>>
>>545751516

Those 30+ now actually have values it would seem, they grew up in a time where watching their mother cook and clean makes them want to be similar and do good under their mothers.
>>
>>545749490
>"It's my body and i can do what i want with it!"
>>I suck dick for validation.
You come up with any more of these OP you be sure to post. I'ma little late to the party, been reading through, and they're hilarious m8.

"Men only have one thing on their mind"
>All the guys i've met I fucked within the first minute and i wonder why they leave.
>>
>>545751281
Well, in the wise words of Jim Jefferies : "I could never be gay, cause I can't fuck something I respect"
>>
>>545746942
the more traditional a woman is, the better she i for men... there are still some of them around, but becoming extremely rare in the west... a good sign is when she hates associating with most other women (i.e. shallow sluts)
>>
>>545749858

Thank You.

To answer your question I have to say: Female competition, she doesn't see those 1-2 female friends as threats so she keeps them around.
>>
>>545746402
dont matter

sorry but single moms only get the D

sorry but life sucks single moms
>>
>>545751784
that was my impression as well

I recently reconnected with one of my schoolmates, she is 29, I'm hitting 30 next week, she lives with her parents, but is trying to find an apartment for herself, works and supports herself, doesn't drink or go out much, super intelligent, kinda a shut in, knits for crying out loud, cooks like a goddess, is super clean and is exactly my type - tall, skinny, long dark hair, sharp features.

I think she might be the one.
>>
>>545751784
Yeah, it's a shame that those kind of women are becoming less prevalent. Maybe it's just my Oedipus complex talking but I have a lot more time for women who can run a household
>>
"You know what's funny?"
"You wanna know why I'm pissed?"
>>
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>>545741921
top kek
>>
The double standards are strong in this one...

>>545741921
Still the highlight of this thread.
>>
>>545747598
>my friend looks like a bubble

Laughed out loud. Thank you
>>
>>545751680
You have NO IDEA how many times i've heard "too bad you have a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend."
And they still pursued it.
And I went for it once, with an amazing girl who i was good friends (more like flirts) with for at least a year
Then I became all woe is me i cheated on my girlfriend...and i immediately stopped talking to her...because i thought i loved my girlfriend.

what really sucks is...It wasn't until later i realized out i was in love with the girl i cheated with.

She texts me every now and then, but i'm two states away...shit sucks mang. but it's for the better
>>
>>545749026
I had a friend that was engaged to aa girl who told him this after she found out I was bi. Turns out she was just a whore after I sucked his dick a few times she pretty much fucked who she wanted to all the time. she would just show up with a guy she met. I actually fucked her with 2 other guys once. neither was my buddy. He finally dumped her
>>
>>545750879

Thread is now officially a success, and I didn't even need to read this wall of text.
>>
>>545747731
A fucking men, shit's not cool
>>
"I have never done this on a first date."

<< You must have read Art of Seduction 100x

"I feel like I've known you longer."

<< I am about to fuck your brains out

"So do you, like believe, there was a guy named Jesus Christ?"

<< I am so fucking hot that I can ask this question but completely fucking insane.
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