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Oh my fucking god help me
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 297
Thread images: 50
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Oh my fucking god help me
>>
tell her what youre doing
>>
>>545636190

"so what you thinking about"

Insecure as fuck
>>
>>545636190
I believe they asked a question OP. I suggest you truthfully respond to it
>>
>>545636190
Find the common ground son, and do it quickly! I am alpha as fuck i will monitor and help where needed
>>
>>545636190
OP you're coming in way too strong. make sure YOU end the conversation also don't text her again after for a while.
>>
kill yourself
>>
shouldve said '' ye show me around '' when she asked if you were new, stupid you
>>
>>545636190
>texting
So fucking beta
Just talk to her in person if you're trying not to look like a desperate faggot.
>>
>>545636190
just straight up ask her to hang some time. Although not right now because JESUS CHRIST this is a mistake of a conversation. Don't text for a day or two and pretend you were drunk or something
>>
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You're gonna have to trust me anon
>>
>>545636190
tell her you wanna rape her
>>
Beta high school queertard.
>>
>>545636960
just for clarification; my dong is huge, so i know what im talking about
>>
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>>
>>545636190
>school
Sage
>>
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>>545637059
i trust u anon

need reply
>>
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>>545637139
This gentleman may be your only hope OP
>>
>going home. whats ur address?
>>
>>545637396
go with muffins for now, say this

"lol, muffins are great foods, whats your favourite?"
(going for a smoke back in 5)
>>
>>545637618
do it OP
>>
>>545637396
Live action cringe thread
>>
Listen, shes some what into you, otherwise this conversation wouldnt be happening.


If you want to fuck her, pretend like youre busy, but let her know you two will be kicking it soon. LET HER KNOW, do not as her.


If you want to date her, just continue responding with stuff that would keep the conversation flowing. Do not under any circumstance say anything you would say because that will blow the game
>>
>>545637396
holy shit i fucking hate women.
>bombness
>nd

she makes up words but is too lazy to type out the a in and? or is nd the cool way to type and now? fucking kids nowadays...
>>
that chick is stupid
>>
>>545637618
Perfect. I see where he's going. Say this, anon.
>>
>>545637396
>make crude joke about her muffin
>>
>>545637825
/thread

Makes me not feel as bad.
>>
>>545638286
hey fuck u
>>
She doesn't seem very smart or interesting to begin with. Do her looks at least save part of it?
>>
>>545638428
If not trolling:
Im sorry but you are acting very cringeable

If trolling:
Gr8 b8 m8
>>
>>545638428
Sorry man, don't get me wrong, i'm beta too. I just text the girl i like:

>so we are hanging out this weekend. right? the answer is yes

So dont feel too bad.
>>
>>545637396
Does this chick even speak fucking English? This shit hurts to read
>>
>>545638541
OP doesn't seem to be very smart either, they match each other
>>
What the fuck is this?
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuOx7-KzSdM
>>
>>545638428
OP
Here's what you gotta do
1. Finish out 9th grade
2. Kill yourself
>>
>>545637396

Could you and your dumb whore fuck already so we don't have to read this cancer?
>>
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Are you both 8th graders with down syndrome?
>>
>>545636190
You are either incredibly strong willed, or a desperate faggot OP.
>>
>>545638680
Sweet got a response!! see i'm beta too.
>>
>>545639135
no just seems like normal 8th graders these days
>>
give her this link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHIKf0f9E40
>>
>>545637396
this makes no fucking sense...
>>
>>545637396
I'd like to heat your muffin sometime
>>
>>545637396
Fucking hell, I've no idea what the girl said past the 'about going home [...]' text
>>
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whoa
>>
>>545639868
Just destroy your phone already
>>
>>545637396
is she a tard? im not from the us, but damn, she texts as a dumbfuck girl.. i hope all of your girls dont write like this nowdays
>>
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>>545639868
what the fuck
>>
>>545639868
This bitch is giving me a headache just reading her fucking shit. Dude, what the fuck are you doing?
>>
>>545639868
Yep, I'm gonna go with global rule #2
>>
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>>545639868
Is she retarded?
>>
>>545639868
SHE WANTS THE D
>>
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>>545639868
Kill yourself and that fucking mongoloid you're texting
>>
>>545639868
ask her for tits
>>
>>545639868
Congrats anon, now just stay with the theory of talking about what she talks about and slowly test other subjects you think she might be interested in. Find the common ground with her and stick with it.
Ask her what she does when you aren't locked up at school, then tell her what you do (within reason) but make sure she gets that nothing is really important and you have plenty of free time (for hanging out when she suggests it)
>>
>>545639868
See at this point, even if I got into her pants I would be limp as a marshmellow. I can't fuck someone with the brain density of Aerogel. We can get the world's top analysts trying to figure out what the fuck this girl is saying but the underlying conclusion you need to draw is to put down your fucking phone, and go after literally any other girl on the planet, except this girl.
>>
>>545638827
that is fucking hypnotic, I'm listening through it for the 3rd time now,
I am pretty high
>>
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>>545640363
>>
jesus christ, what are u guys 5? the grammar is fucking horrible.
>>
>>545639868
holy shit how old are y'all and why are y'all talking about fucking muffins. if you text someone at least have something worth saying
>>
>>545639868
ok here's what you do OP
>ayyy bby u kno whut my fav muffin is tho? -.-
>whts tht
>urs ;))))))
>>
>>545640697
Not when you're texting girls, they just like the attention, mindless drivel will do as long as it makes them smile, for they are a simple creature
>>
>>545639868
just say ahahahahahaha next time she says something that should be funny
>>
ask her out pussy we're all gonna die anyway
>>
>>545636190
op tell her she's cute and ask her what she's doing tomorrow

you could ask her if she's seeing anyone as well
>>
" so is there anything besides muffins you like in your mouth ; ) "
>>
>>545639868
seems as though you caught yourself a rare femcrackbeta.

unlike regular fatfembetas, this beta uses her overwhelming amount of insecurities to cast a smokescreen of hyperactivity around her.

she may find herself believing she is alpha by her ability to socialize with many without fear but her smokescreen also hinders her from being able to witness her own actions.

In most cases femcrackbetas will act in an overly autistic form without even realizing it. Legend has it that if the smokescreen is broken, fits of pure rage and suicidal rants are likely to pursue.

have your fun with her OP. These are fun to play with but be careful not to break through her screen.
>>
>>545640205

I giggled. Thats 4chan for you.
>>
>>545636616
>I am alpha as fuck
betafag detected
>>
>>545641253
Shit anon I've been studying psychology for 10 years and your post just blew my mind. Your right.
>>
>>545639183
>these days

Shut the fuck up with this shit
>>
>>545641414
fuck you my muffin comment got him a reply
>>
>>545639868
ok do this

are there 21 letters in the alphabet

she will respond with something nope there are 26

the you say

oh right I forgot U R A Q T

inb4 /fit/ pls go
>>
>>545641425
What's on his right?
>>
>>545636190
The correct next text should of been "going to 711" but this post is too late.

If it was the first post it would of been too late.
>>
>>545639868
tell her now if she wants to get one together anytime soon
>>
>>545641504
I don't think she knows how many letters there are in the alphabet
>>
>>545641613
she will just have to count them then the end game is the pick up line

it's a pantie dropper m8
>>
>>545641559
Me, telling him he's correct. Smartass.
>>
>>545636190
stop saying lol you fucking diaper
>>
>>545637396
WHY DO YOU WRITE LIKE RETARDS??
>>
op's talking to a middle schooler
>>
>>545636190
Holy fuck are you a 780 are code?
>>
>>545641253
this is pretty spot on
>>
>>545641871
>>545641736
Cos he's trying to pull a chick that talks like that you mong
>>
Fuckit ask for a pic of whatever shes doing now. will let her know your interested and entertain us.
>>
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>>545639868
comfirmed for retarded niggers
>>
>>545641886
obviously...

my question is why everyone hasn't asked him to get nudes yet
>>
>>545642132
Look at what he's posted. You really think he could pull it off? Besides it would 404 quickly
>>
>>545636190
OP actually is pleb
>>
>>545641625
10/10
>>
>>545642028
Yeah, so basically to get a chick you have to change all your personality, your way of thinking and how you talk to other people... That sounds beta
>>
>>545639868
>tfw remained a virgin through high school because girls like this was my only option
>>
Text my number 2282342145 and I like muffins ;) my name is Jerrica btw
>>
Just try and fuck her best friend to make her jealous. works every time.
>>
>>545642374
keep telling yourself that
>>
>>545642313
You have to adapt to the situation yes, not as drastically as YOU think, and once you got them onboard you can revert back to your own self and they will follow you and change themselves to keep you happy
>>
>>545642780
you dont have to do shit but spit game

make her laugh.. be confident.. take some risk and compliment her

the rest is history
>>
>>545643009
>spit game

yup
>>
guis i think opee is kill
>>
>>545643009
>spit game

sick dude.
>>
>>545643009
>spit game
You from Cali?
>>
>>545645164
>so we fuckin' or what
Send it or forever be a fucking faggot
>>
>>545645330
That.
>>
>>545645164
Jesus, you're heading straight for the faggot friendzone OP. Man the fuck up, start turning the convo towards sex or like anon said, forever be a fucking faggot
>>
>>545645330
Post the pic, OP was a fag and deleted it
>>
>>545645574
He was talking about emojis and android with her not worth it
>>
someone repost the pic
>>
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did anyone get it

wow op just jesus
>>
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here
>>
>>545645574
oh wait now i see why

OP do what I said or her number gets posted
>>
>>545645914
Its going nowhere, send her the D.
>>
OP posted her number by accident, I assume that's why he deleted before someone who's not a faggot texts her and gets the ass OP will never get
>>
>>545645978
what
>>
>>545645914
android fanboy nerd range inc
>>
>>545646140
OP obviously didn't crop her phone number
>>
>>545646140
Text her
>so we fuckin' or what
now
>>
>>545645914
Tell her how to get emojjis on her android
>>
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>>545645914

>android
>fucken sucks

OP she's not worth it.
>>
So what should I text her? Anyone know her name?
>>
Lulz, got the number.
>>
>>545646510
It sucks that she doesn't have emojis, dolt
>>
>>545645914
WHY ARE YOU PURSUING THIS RETARD?
>>
>>545646539
Tell her that OP blatantly admitted he's an underage faggot and none of you even flinched, /b/ is truly the worst board, later nerds.
>>
9702419393
got it
>>
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This is like reading the fucking nonsensical ramblings of two deaf 6 year old children trying to tell you that they can't fucking hear you, but you're still like"What are you trying to say?" over and over again what is this shit are you guys fucking 12 yrs old
>>
>>545647013
Not even close mang
>>
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>>545636190
>what are you thinking about
>>
Fuck it thread ruined
1(56 2)6 50-85 08
Get some /b/
>>
>>545646510
no she's absolutely right
i haven't known a shittier OS since Windows ME
>>
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>>545636190
if shes still talking to you that means shes probably interested.
just invite her over to your place or ask to chill at hers.
assuming youre beta as fuck try to smash around the 3rd time you guys hang out. if you feelin alpha, fuck her on the 1st.
>>
>>545639868
Chances are if she types similar to a retard, she is. I've experienced that before. Those girls are only for fucking, anon.
>>
>>545646629
You idiot there are emoji's on android. And Auto-correct is also on android. So if this bitch is smart enough to turn off auto correct, shes smart enough to find the emojis
>>
>>545645914
well i for one, am happy for you op

A TOAST
to op getting his end wet
>>
i cannot fucking stand how both of you type. I hope a nigger breaks into both your houses and kills you.
>>
>>545647405
Shit 562? Confirmed middle schoolers. I know a middle school right next to a 711 in a 562 area code city abandon thread.
>>
>>545647594
Lol, this. Both of you must be under average/of average intelligence. I didn't type like that in 8th grade.
>>
>>545647712
>>545647326
Shit tagged the wrong person
>>
>>545642028
This guy gets it. He really fuckin gets it. We should hit the bar sometime /b/ro.
>>
>>545647519
I'm just translating what the girl said, calm your tits
>>
>>545647712
You didn't mean to reply to me.
>>
>>545647712
That was confirmed in the very first picture by the way they talk
>>
hi arron
>>
>>545647959
I know but i fixed it here>>545647823
>>
>>545640260
Harrison Ford? Lmfao
>>
>>545647962
Touche
>>
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>>545647386

>using apple

pleboobian
>>
>>545648181
LOL
>>
reminded me of this
>>
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>>545640260
>LimeWire
>>
Hey op i know what city you live in and this chick. Its also where i live im gunna bang her first faggot
>>
>>545650307
u wot m8?
>>
>>545636190
texting OPs girl. 2 decides
>>
>>545648336
>Not using BlackBerry

>QNX Masterrace
>>
>>545652030
Let me see your boobs bitch
>>
>>545651732
Cant get any clearer than that
>>
>>545652030
Ay bb u wan sum fuk?
>>
>>545652030
Its aaron. Can you send me a picture of you for caller id?
>>
>>545652056
this. bb all the way.

also i use just about every OS (up to the UNIXs for HPC systems), android is just inherently bad
>>
>>545652030
Do Navy Seal pasta and post reaction
>>
>>545652030
You speak like a retarded piece of shit and you know what else? You are nothing but an object to pleasure men. You have no worth whatsoever because you are a stupid fucking woman. Fuck you and your mother and your grandma as well as any sisters you have. Meet me next to the main office tomorrow at school I you know what's good for you or I will break into your home. I have been stalking you for a while now so I know your routine. Don't try anything funny either, I got the law on my side.
>>
>>545652657
Roll
>>
>>545652715
roll
>>
>>545652680
>this
>>
>>545652030
Anon from here

Fuck it 2, 6, 8, decides after this post
>>
>>545652670
BlackBerry needs to work on their marketing.

Most people don't know BBs can run android apps
>>
>>545652523
Fuck, so close
reroll
>>
>>545652715
Rolling
>>
>>545652424
Oh, from that post he removed. You got her number. Smooth. Best of luck, bro.
>>
>>545652030
You dumb bitch, why don't you know your own fucking language?
>>
>>545653021
Reroll for illiterate justice
>>
>>545653125
Rolling again
>>
>>545653448
winrar. waiting on reply

added new numbers in>>545652950 if you are wondering
>>
>>545652030
let me eat out your asshole while you violently shit liquid diarrhea into my mouth till it drips down my chin onto my chest. then I want you to rub the shit all over me with your feet, until you pee on me to rinse me off. then I want you beat me off with sand paper while we look at your family photo album.
>>
kek. 2, 6, 8 replies
>>
>>545653995
fake and gay
>>
>>545654147
wat
>>
>>545653662
It took me a solid 30 seconds before I could figure out what that sentence meant.
>>
>>545653995
Aye bb want sum fuk
>>
>>545653995
obviously not the same gril. She isn't texting like a nigger
>>
>>545653995
Just kidding. How about I buy you dinner? Restaurant of your choosing, money isn't an issue.
>>
>>545654672
Lol! Winrar. Hope money isn't an issue for you.
>>
>>545654672
this, is the most retarded thing you beta ass faggots can say.

say:
"I'm bored out of my mind, entertain me"
>>
>>545654672
deliver. I'm not sure if this is the same girl as OPs but who cares it will do

2,6,8
>>
>>545655050
Ay bb want sum fuk
>>
>>545654881
Dude, you silly bitch. We don't want this faggot to actually succeed. We want her to use him for the beta faggot he is.
>>
"I'm sorry I get mood swings sometimes.. I was born with a pituitary problem -_- so what's up?"
>>
>>545641625
lost
>>
>>545655050
Nigga do you even banana muffin?
>>
Did you grow up in the ghetto or are you just naturally retarded?
>>
>>545655050
Hi! few things to start off with

1.=] Yes, I messaged you because you're an illiterate female, 'tis an awesome thing to see!

2. I'm Brian.

3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen .
>>
>>545645914
lol, man posting in an epic bread anyway. who cares if it's retard love, still pretty fucking incredible
>>
>>545655198
>>545655050
winrar
>>
>>545655496
Winrar. Kek
>>
>>545655198
done. we need a save

2,6,8
>>
>>545655629
Please please please don't make me go away!!! I love you!
>>
tell her about op??
>>
What does af mean?
>>
>>545655629
>yer irrating af go away
What?
>>
>>545655629
Sorry my brother took away my phone, I'm anon and your name is?
>>
>>545655629
Tell her that someone gave her number out on the internet and was posting pictures of their conversation
>>
>>545655629
no u
>>
>>545655769
i was thinking maybe as fuck? I don't know.
>>
>>545655769
As fuck
>>
>>545655769
assfuck
>>
>>545655748
come on niggers we need to do something.

2,6,8
>>
>>545655795
reroll
>>
Texting OPs chick as op
9,7,4 choose how i screw up op
>>
>>545656114

why does this bitch text like that? is she mentally abled
>>
>>545655462
this
>>
>>545656226
>jose
my sides
>>
>>545656238
She is either black or a suburban cracker
>>
>>545656226
Ask her for a picture
>>
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>>545656114
send her a pic of this saying its you
>>
>>545656226
Dude. You don't say yes you fucker. You say "Maybe ;)." And then admit "Yes." if she presses it.

Tell her she's the first girl you've ever been able to talk to comfortably. Say it probably has something to do with the fact that she's ugly.
>>
>>545656473
Rolling for this
>>
>>545656496
rerell

Oh, and also tell her that it's okay she's ugly because you're still able to fap to her.
>>
She blocked me :(
>>
>>545656226
Listen, When do I get dat Boogity booty?
>>
>>545656664
I is winrar
>>
>>545656707
Bahaha. You stupid fucker.

>>545656689
Also, winrar on this. Deliver.
>>
>>545656707
Are you surprised you fucking idiot?
>>
>>545656907
Nope this guy got it first >>545656808
>>
>>545656907
Silly nigger someone got it already
>>
stop. just stop. that's my advice
>>
>>545656114
>>545656226

This...this is the /b/ that I know and love...I've missed you /b/
>>
>>545657089
Well then deliver, faggot.
>>
Waiting for her reply
>>
Gotta problem fuck it, don't like it suck it
>>
Of course..
6,3,8 decide
>>
>>545657818
Rolling. Say I need it for a contact pic.
>>
holy shit bitch. never ask what she's thinking about.
>>
>>545657818
pretty please???? i wanna see you now :3
>>
>>545657818
bc i want see what you look like now

>Careful, /b/. This is girl is young.
>>
>>545657818
Because I would love to see you all the time ;)
>>
>>545655769
Ben Afleck, idiot.
>>
>>545657818
but I want a pic now so I can cum on it
>>
>>545657818
jus need for contact pic and your pretty i guess :-)
>>
>>545657972
Rolling for this
>>
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>>545658116
a winrar is me
>>
>>545657818
contact picture
>>
Because I want a good picture of you for my contact. One that you picked out...of the 1000's of other shitty pictures you took just so you could find at least one angle that you actually look good in.
>>
>>545658326
Winrar appreciate it bro
>>
>>545657818
Why wait?
>>
posting in bread of great magnitude
>>
>>545658524
...not really
>>
Contact picture
>>
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>>545658524
>>
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>>
>>545658524
yeah we went from retard love to trolling again in like 9 seconds flat... that's /b/ for you
>>
just got her kik lol
>>
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>>
Alright niggers keep this shit alive if it 404's ill make a new thread we should be getting a pic soon.
>>
>>545658524
>>545658752
>>545658778
fucking kill yourselves
>>
>>545658815
=3 RWJ lmao good one! Suprise buttseckz!! :P
>>
>>545658987
>ratchet

She IS a fucking nigger.
>>
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>>545659121
>>
>>545659036
>implying i posted that picture for any other reason than the name
>>
>>545657818
I need to fap, don't leave me ronrey and waiting
>>
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>>545658987
here we go!
>>
>>545658987
Confirmed retarded porchmonkey
>>
>>545659180

DING DING DING DING

OP IS NIGGERFAGLOID OR A WHITE NIGGER
>>
>>545659285
Believe!! If its a cotton picker ill be disappoint in OP
>>
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>>545658987
I got her kik..

>pic related

>>545659180
Yes she is.
>>
>>545659242
Rofl! Spiderman derailz!! Good 1 anon :P Spoodermun plz amirite
>>
>>545659446
Fucking knew it.
>>
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>>545659446
>not showing body

fat.
>>
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>>545659242
>>
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>>
>>545658987
call her a nigger
>>
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>>545659446
Mfw
>>
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>>545659631
>>
>>545658987
Ask for noods mang
>>
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>>545659796
>>
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>>545659932
>>
>>545659446
Any updates Anon?
>>
>>545659930
Probably nothing good to look at
>>
>>545660258
i messaged her on kik, but it just says sent.
>>
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Monitoring.
>>
>>545660341
Yes this is beautiful. Destroy Op's thread. fuck him
>>
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>>545658762
im usually all for a spider thread but this is not the time.
>>
>>545660341
Well not like i can see you naked tomorrow
Just do it bae
>>
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Update from her kik... my kik is a girls face.
>>
>>545661272
This is good go full lesbo on her
>>
>>545661272
You are indeed doing gods work anon. Keep up the good fight! And keep us posted!
>>
I did not of see the phone number, plz give
>>
>>545661272
Yeah she texted me saying my friend messaged her on kik. I was like shit covers blown.
>>
>>545661528
She hasn't responded. I can send nudes to her with in camera mode, but how should i start it?
>>
>>545661665


>>545647326
>>
>>545661707
Nothings been blown. tell her we are good friends is all.
>>
>>545640025
they're probably both 13 or some shit. OP is a faggot.
>>
>>545661724
Idk haven't had lesbian roleplay in a while lemme think..
>>
>>545661765
Gaiz, put the number on
clamtxt dat cum
Thread replies: 297
Thread images: 50
Thread DB ID: 692



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