Help me out /b/, I am FUCKED.
>Get a job at a local butcher's shop for some spare money
>Butcher has an 8/10 daughter who goes to the local college
>Almost the end of my shift, earlier today
>Stacking up some boxes
>Butcher's daughter comes in, wearing short shorts and a tank top
>"Hey Anon, need some help with those?"
>We both stack up a few boxes together
>Turn my back, as I do she bumps her butt against mine in a non-sexual way
>Do the same to her, and we both laugh and do it again
>Mid bump, the butcher walks in
>He lunges towards me, rolling pin in hand
>"ARE YOU FUCKING MY GIRL, ANON?"
>"YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU?"
>He hits me with the pin
>"YOU ARSEHOLE, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU"
>Get out of the butcher's shop, butcher gives chase
>Run the 5 minutes back to my house
>Butcher jumps over my garden wall
>Lock all doors and windows, close all curtains except for one
Pic related, took this just now. He's still out there shouting about how I'm gonna die. What the hell do I do?
Also when I say butt bump I mean like this but with only one of us doing it at a time.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. He saw me and he's banging on the window. I really need your help, he's going to fucking kill me.
If he is wearing a mask then I've not been aware of it
Alright faggots I called the police. They say they'll be on their way, but I don't know how long that'll be. Nearest police station's a 30 minute drive from here.
Len/Leonard, but I still don't know his surname. Daughter's called Betty.
Oh god I haven't laughed like this since /b/ wasn't shit.
We all know this whole thing is fake r8?
If not, OP, please deliver video.
the funny thing is, hes prob raping his daughter, thats why hes so protective
now that youve called the cops, grab a kitchen/steak knife n open the door. wait til he comes thru then stab him in the neck. remember, stab and then twist. when the cops arrive, tell them he broke into your house as they were coming so you had to kill him in self defence. it helps if you act really shaken n shit.
04-07 was half as shit as it is today sorry :C
He's in the house now. He did a running kick against the window and pinned me down, and hit me on the head a few times with the rolling pin. I got upstairs somehow, I'm currently locked in my bedroom. It's a dead end, no window, no escape except for the door he's banging against now. Thanks a lot /b/.
Also pic related, was able to take a slightly clearer photo of his face.
>about to kill op
>gets on comp
>"den da butthur caem in da houz and hiyt meay"
>proceeds with anal pounding
hue good story op
sad ppl dont know the difference between trolling and telling a story
Am I having a religious experience or something?
Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet. Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag? Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.
Yes Drill Sargent. I will do better next time Drill Sargent.
If you really have him chasing you OP, try this:
1. Open the door and call him a baker, and follow up by telling him how you fucked his wife too, for an emotional critical hit.
2. While he is confused, lay down your guard and solve the problem peacefully
according to the exif data on one of the photos, the pictures were taken 19 hours ago. makes sense considering this thread started 3 hours ago and theres no way the sun was setting there in america.