Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 5866. page

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Anyone?

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contribootin

hey crab man

>>723405782
Hey Earl!

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>me
>some years ago, probably 15 y/o
>use Kik as part of my everyday life, it's what the kids did in 2013
>talk to someone named Austin there
>pic related
>austin was a good guy, probably 18 at the time but he didn't seem interested in me, but he was openly gay
>really into furry porn too, I guess
>One day, Austin adds me to a group chat
>don't think much of it, it seemed like some furry roleplay which I wasn't into but I just watched for a while
>eventually Austin asks why I'm not joining
>remind him I'm not gay
>"Lets change that"
>Roleplay gets really sexual under Austin's demand, hardcore gay stuff I guess
>He tries to count me in
>remind him I'm underage, because I'm a faggot like that
>says he doesn't care
>this continues for almost three days
>ignore Austin for a while
>fast forward like 3 months
>End of sophomore year
>summertime, baby
>Austin coincidentally adds me to a group again
>Mute the chat, ignore it, whatever.
>Eventually read back on it, chat is dead for weeks at this point
>Austin talks about his sexual relations with his sister that's 8 years younger than him
>why.gif
>Ask Austin why
>says as long as no children come from it, it's ok
>even deliberately said she didn't consent, but threatened to beat her if she told their parents
>I thought he was gay, but whatever
>other hooligans in chat saying shit like "Oh man that's too good to be true" and "Oh wow, I'm really jealous..."
>block Austin on everything
>never talk to him again
>be glad I'm not his sister

:a: :regional_indicator_c: :regional_indicator_c: :o2: :regional_indicator_r: :regional_indicator_d: :information_source: :regional_indicator_n: :regional_indicator_g: :regional_indicator_t: :o2: :a: :regional_indicator_l: :regional_indicator_l: :regional_indicator_k: :regional_indicator_n: :o2: :regional_indicator_w: :regional_indicator_n: :regional_indicator_l: :a: :regional_indicator_w: :regional_indicator_s: :o2: :regional_indicator_f: :a: :regional_indicator_v: :information_source: :a: :regional_indicator_t: :information_source: :o2: :regional_indicator_n: ,
:regional_indicator_t: :regional_indicator_h: :regional_indicator_e: :regional_indicator_r: :regional_indicator_e: :information_source: :regional_indicator_s: :regional_indicator_n: :o2: :regional_indicator_w: :a: :regional_indicator_y: :a: :b: :regional_indicator_e: :regional_indicator_e: :regional_indicator_s: :regional_indicator_h: :o2: :regional_indicator_u: :regional_indicator_l: :regional_indicator_d: :b: :regional_indicator_e: :a: :b: :regional_indicator_l: :regional_indicator_e: :regional_indicator_t: :o2: :regional_indicator_f: :regional_indicator_l: :regional_indicator_y: .

>be me
>be year 2119
>Stephen hawking's (r.i.p.) 1/5th-the-speed-of-light ship just got finished
>receive an email notifying me that I've been selected as a premium specimen for cryogenic near-light travel and will be on the next trip out to the TRAPPIST-1 system
>ok, whatever
>about to trash the email but it says I'll be fined a few milion if I don't participate.
>fucking fine
>tell all my friends and family that I'm finally going to go to the TRAPPIST-1 system that we've been talking about for the last 102 years and that I won't be coming back
>"fine we never liked you anyways"
>ok
>subject myself to the training
>it's not really physical training so much as it is contingency plans, from stuff about intelligent life to what to do if our HAL 9000 system went rogue (like that would ever happen)
>There's this really cute girl in training that I start talking to
>she ends up being interested in me, too
>have a little fling, work out together, help each other out with the exams.
>launch day
>our cryotubes are next to each other.
>make out with her for good luck.
>fall asleep
>wake up
>my lungs feel like they are stuffed with sea urchins
>first oxygen I've tasted in 200 years.
>god, is it terrible.
>a voice comes over the speakers telling me that I might feel some discomfort.
>"it is the year 2321 and you are on direct approach to the TRAPPIST system, I am programmed to inform you that over the course of the last 200 years, humanity has made some major achievements, albeit most of them happened long after your loved ones died"
>"fine I never liked them anyways"

I guess it is a draft to this greentext im making

http://ifunny.co/fun/31vKZIWb4

>>723405513
Aww a family of 2,5 people

>>723405513
the small boy is really cute in that suit

>>723405513
cripple/10

>>723406007
Obvious bait is obvious. Fuck off back to 9-gag, maybe someone there will be ~scandalized~ with this weak bullshit

>>723406007
kys faggot

>>723406007
Orangutans do it all the time and we don't see them going to prison. Why do these orange niggers get away with this shit?

>>723405643
a tiny dick

>>723405643
A small dick

>>723405682
/thread

Second.

Reminder to not respond to shitscribbles

90% are just Hatter avoiding his Ban

Have a nice thread

Looks like too many people are in the other one

trips a cummin

>>723405368
roll bois

i will eat my own ass if i get trips

>>723404980
Open up console command
>select caius
>set fatigue -99999
>punch to death

>>723404980
i teach him how to cast a levitation spell
the problem will solve itself

>>723405157
>walk outside
>ash slave autist tries to talk to you
>console command
>select ash slave
>set acrobatics 1000
>force jump
>watch him fly up
>set acrobatics 0
>*squish*

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>>723402283
Here you go

>>723402629
umm... thanks

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>>723402283
got you back anon, you can thank me later

>>723403221
The password is fireplug013

fireplug0167
he keeps changing pass. get it while you can

>>723403291

how can dead based anon post more MILFs?

thats a gilf

i need to be atleast 38 years old to consider this hot

terrible taste OP

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>>723404171

I dunno, you tell me.

>>723404267

Fuck me dude whatever it is, I want moar. But seems like the anon cucked me up

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>>723401805
>Lightsaber<Gun

fuck you anon, i'm coming to the temple bitch, and i'm gonna out jedi dance you like a motherfucker. and i'm bringing my squad with dj doku and django phat and the bass is gonna kill a lot of people on the dancefloor. and i fucking hope you organized enough mediclorians, bitch...

>>723401805
Imma report your ass to ma nigga windu