Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 1096. page

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FUCK OFF GERMANS I HATE YOU ALL!

>>739503257
WAS IST MIT FRAGEN OP FOTZE?

>>739502883
ja aber ist halt langweilig und auffälliger wenn sie schreit usw. aber auch Zielführend.

ok. 1.

>>739506874
2/10

>>739506975
3/10

Bannon took a back seat now that Kushner is in charge

he's weak and old

>>739506498
>Look mom, I posted it again
neck yourself

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miss me yet?

>>739502950
c

>>739502950
Hope it's true. Hack

>>739502950
that actually really sucks

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>>739504483

What do you mean by "found it"?
name him/her Pontus.

Ragnar

>>739505682
bitch ass bitch

if u had a vag ud be better at pleasuring one

wait

>>739502452
alot of girls turn "lesbian" because they are too fat and or unpleasant and bitter to get any guy so they turn to other unpleasant fat girls that are gross too

>>739502452
Fuck you

>>739493290
Idiosyncrasy

Leon the Professional

In Bruges

Got any pics?

Post her. Sluts deserve to be posted and exposed

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>>739505447
Facebook

>>739492479
Don't forget to rape her

>>739492479
Knocked a 10/10 up on purpose. Now I have a son who'll be 3 in October whole lives 2,000 miles away. And no child support because
>I'm a nice dude
Kek

>>739492479
Screenshots? More pics?

Another story, because why not

>be me, in 5th grade still
>sitting in class, messing around with crap on my desk because ADHD I don't give a fuck what you say
>Suddenly feel the urge to fart
>lift up right asscheek preparing for nuclear blast
>out pops a fucking golf ball sized turd
>I panic, my right asscheek still hoisted high in the air
>I casually asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom
>she said hold it for a minute, I've got something important to say
>tell her that I'm about to piss myself
>she lets me go
>turn the corner as soon as I walk out the door, a few steps later and the turd falls out of my pant leg
>it rolls around on the ground for a bit
>nobody saw, just keep on casually walking
>Go to bathroom, clean up the mess of shit all over myself
>walking back to class, and I notice the turd was stepped on
>a line of kindergarten kids was walking by, and they pointed at the now flattened shit on the ground saying "COOKIE"
>I just casually walked by as the teachers hurried the kids away from the flattened cookie turd
>get back into classroom
>notice a horrid smell
>turns out it was the kid that sat next to me that stepped in the turd.
>tfw I had to deal with the smell for the rest of the day
>tfw karma got me instantly
>smells worse than the piss bottles I have at home

How about another story

>Be me, 15 years old, 9th grade.
>I am a lonely anon, no friends, I just use my computer in the basement with my piss bottles and cum rags everywhere
>One day at the bus stop, a new kid in the neighborhood was there
>try to introduce myself
>held my hand out for a handshake
>he looked at it for a minute, with a face that said what the fuck
>awkwardly grabbed my hand and just let go
>what the fuck
>we talk on the bus, he seems cool
>fastforward a week
>I realize this guy is a pot smoking junkie who shoplifts all the time
>he dragged me into shoplifting once, I stole a pack of gum
>we started doing it more and more often, even getting to the point where I would steal a whole carton of egg nog around the holidays.
>started stealing nerf guns from the shitty run down Kmart next door
>we used them to shoot cars while safely perched in a tree
>kept stealing nerf guns and candy for about two months
>eventually, Marco got the balls to steal a tracphone
>he pulls it off not once, but three times until his parents catch him with a phone, because he isn't allowed to have one
>ok whatever kid deserved it
>Start going to store myself
>he tells me on bus to not do it without him
>fuck what he says, he got me addicted.
>end up stealing a few more nerf guns on my own, even getting ones that cost over 100 dollars
>fuckyeah.jpg
>end up going to Kmart one day and see a small, red nerf pistol in an opened package
>because of the scanners they have at the doors, I have to unpackage everything
>Figured it was easy pickings, already unpackaged
>stuff it down pants
>as I'm walking down to the front of the store, I hear over the intercom "Security to the front of the store"
>I panic and run to the sports section, where I stuff the gun in my backpack
>I'm walking to the front of the store again, not thinking at all
>mfw a lady grabs my shoulder
>I jump so much that I literally fell and the nerf gun went right up my ass

To be continued

>>739490628
Continued

>I get up with the nerf gun and thin backpack wedged in my ass
>See it's store security
>Panic and back inside the store
>go to the bedding department and hide under the beds
>feels like my dusty home
>I lay there for hours
>eventually, the store closes
>Realize I'm locked in the store
>End up getting out from under the bed
>I see security walking around, they see me
>ohfuck.jpg
>start running
>remember that I still have the nerf gun wedged up my ass
>stop to yank it out
>the security grab me and pull me into a back room
>they sit me down
>feels cold for some reason
>realize that when the nerf gun went up my ass, it ripped my pants and underwear
>tfw they get the stolen nerf gun, and it's covered in shit
>they just hand me the gun back and let me free
>as I walk out, I rip a massive fart
>fucking normies underestimate my power