>Have little mexican friend, "Ramirez"
>5'8", 135 lbs ottermode long distance runner
>Gets challenged to fight by "street fighter" faggit 5'9" 160 lbs of what could be bulk or fat
>Ramirez keeps insisting he doesn't want to fight, then gets spit on by Faggit
>Fight is in one week because you never spit at a Mexican and get away with it
>Ramirez asked me to train him in "kung fu"
>Nobody has the heart to tell Ramirez that he's a huge pussy
Basically my problem is this; I have to turn my sweet little Ramirez into an Aztec Jaguar Warrior who can win a fight in the next five days. I have some ideas, but what techniques should I focus on to make sure he has the best chance? The guy he's fighting isn't tough at all, he just picked on literally the only person on my floor whose ass was weaker than him.
It's not like I can do all the cryptic "you learn when you ready" Mr. Miyagi shit I do with kids, I simply don't have the time and I'm literally encouraging him to use violence as the answer. Preferably nothing too vile like nut grabs and eye gouges because it's going to be fairly public, people are showing up to watch, but I really don't care if that's what needs to happen. I was thinking boxing, wing chun, a thai clinch, and some basic goju shit because it's easy to learn basics and it's designed for small people (women). Not sure what I'll do about grappling, maybe the rousey hip throw-arm bar combo. He just needs to learn to kick untrained ass as soon as possible.
tl;dr: You need to turn a complete wuss into a badass in one week, training three or so hours a day. What techniques or style do you teach him?
It's been over a decade since I saw fights like this. You're right about him using pure violence to defend himself, but just tell him no cheap shots. He has a better chance at earning respect from his peers by lasting as long as possible and not pussying out. Just teach him to adhere to pain.
I remember guys who were "ok" at fighting and could hold their own but then got into fights (over girls) against guys known for whooping ass and everyone thought they were going to get their ass handed to them and made it seem like he would be plagued by the defeat for years, only to go into the fight swinging and taking hits until his opponent was gassed. That always earned more respect and left people remembering him for his endurance rather than getting his ass whooped.
Does the "street fighter" have any actual idea how to fight? If not, even with the likely reach disadvantage teach your friend to throw the good old 1-2. If the other guy is a numbnuts who takes big swings n shit having a solid 1-2 is a good way to fuck them over and it's easy to learn. Other than that try and teach him some rudimentary grappling and footwork so he doesn't get overwhelmed if the bigger guy charges straight at him for a clinch or tackle. Don't go for anything too complicated because you have 5 very short days, teach him to knock the guy on his ass in a simple and direct manner and how to avoid getting bumrushed.
>Does the "street fighter" have any actual idea how to fight?
I'm pretty sure he doesn't he just wears a lot of leather jackets to look tough, classic Disney bully garb. He'll almost certainly be wearing one during the fight, I thought maybe take advantage and do some crash-course judo.
I know Ramirez has far superior conditioning, he's a marathon runner and the other guy is a heavy smoker, any way to use that?
Not without looking like a bitch I don't think. Unless you can teach him footwork so good that people don't mind that he spends most of the fight running because he makes it look good. Body shots are a good idea but they're more of a long term investment, you usually need to put in several to really start reaping the effects. Then again if this guy's as much of a wannabe as you're making him out to be a few body shots will be enough. See if you can teach your guy to sharpshoot straight punches to the solar plexus as an extra, since chances are the other guy won't really know how to block those. Hell even pro boxers can have trouble with jabs to the solar plexus, they're just not that common. Just remember, keep it simple stupid, teach him the very basics of offence and defence. Straight punches, how to throw and land them correctly and some idea of footwork and how to avoid being tackled to the ground and what to do once you're there.
I know he can run fast, but I don't know about his head movement yet. If he were a sprinter he would have that explosive power, but he moves surprisingly clunky and heavy for a runner.
>looking like a bitch
Since the guys on our floor are all around, that's a pretty big part of it, which sucks. I know Faggit could be pretty doughy so a good penetrating punch would be nice.
Any specific "OP" techniques he should learn? I'm teaching him the RNC today but I doubt he'll get in position to use it.
>I know he can run fast, but I don't know about his head movement yet
i guess you can work on that a bit, since you said the other guy smokes that will help and he will tire out faster most likely and your friend can take advantage of that.
I guess the only thing you can do is:
-This is how you throw a punch, train it
-This is how to shield your face from a punch, train it.
-This is the most basic footwork, train it.
-If he puts a hand behind his back or in his trousers -> run, if you dont want to be sliced/shot.
Teach him double-leg takedown, have him train it on you and friends of equal size with resistance until he's got it down. Bonus points if you can get a wrestler to teach him it. From there teach him some how to keep mount and how to hammer-fist big bullies face. I was always a smaller kid and this strategy had a good success rate for me.
>asked me to train him in "kung fu"
Give him what he wants willy.
I would teach him the first 7 roads of the Tan Tui. Quick, simple and effective.
Be sure to make a new thread next week to show us the worldstar video and thank me.
Kick Common in Various Arts: Front Snap Kick
Wrestling: Double Leg Takedown
And since he wants Kung Fu: Teach him an outwards circular block, and teach him about attacking and defending at the same time.
>You should try and spar with him at least once before he has this fight
Yeah I'm going to do that with him going pretty much full contact since I don't really care about getting injured right now.
>Alternatively, you could just kick this guy's ass
> get him arrested for assault
I would, but MUH MEXICAN PRIDE. Ramirez really wants to stop looking like the bitch he's been his whole life and I don't blame him. There's no shortage of guys willing to gang-beat Faggit, but it has to be Ramirez.
>real fighting is so gay look at this fag
>come on guys let's go make another thread about fake fighting in costumes
We have a friend that made state in Indiana at like 185lbs, that sounds perfect.
Faggit has no friends, it's why he such a bully queer. Little Ramirez beating his ass publicly will hopefully end his reign of picking fights with everyone and just being a fuckface in general.
This. He's seen too many movies where Jet Li beats up like 8 untrained thugs with one hand. I'll teach him a machida snap kick and say it's white crane style I guess.
I thought about this. If I can make him LOOK like he's a cholo boxer rather than a bisexual cosplayer who listens to screamo and smokes weed every day, there might be an intimidation factor. I really just worked on a stance today that made it look like he knew what he was doing which was excruciating. Kids learn way faster than stoned 19 year olds. Then I did some 1-2 practice on a bag and pads and had him practice swaying and weaving. Got a little into the technique of hooks, uppercuts and some combinations. He started protesting about the lack of Asian MA but we basically just told him he needs to not move like a retard in a spacesuit before we do that.
He responds to boxing pretty well, I gave a speech about how it's his homeland's martial art and he comes from a long line of blah blah blah. Ramirez now has a five-man training team at the community center.
>smokes weed every day, comes to train stoned
Make it extremely clear that if he doesn't want to get his ass kicked by the least liked person in your floor, he has to stop smoking while he trains and for the fight. If he wins he can do a man-sized blunt as celebration but turning up to practice blazed means he'll learn slower and not as well, turning up to the fight blazed means he'll likely lose and look like an idiot to boot.
>Got a little into the technique of hooks, uppercuts and some combinations
I'd recommend against this, not just because of the very short timespan you have for training him but also because it's very easy to fuck up your wrists with hooks and uppercuts without bandages. He still has a risk of messing his hand up if he fucks up the connection with a straight, but much less than with a hook or uppercut.
Track the bully down. Beat the piss out of him. Tell him to tell everyone "Ramirez" couldn't wait a weak and decided to get shit done early. Tell him to remember the pain, and that if he goes to the cops or tells anyone you did it, you'll fuck him up three times worse next week.
With utmost honesty, a week is not enough time to make even the slightest difference in fighting ability, and Ramirez is probably gonna get his ass kicked.
If someone doesn't fight on a regular basis, they won't have the mental/emotional stability that one needs to ACTUALLY put all the training and techniques to good use.
He'll be thinking "step left, feint, right jab, sweep the leg" up until the moment he gets punched in the fucking face and goes into a panic, as he realizes that getting punched by a man 30 lbs heavier than him fucking sucks.
Make him wear a mouthpiece for the fight.
Confirmed for butthurt rasslefag upset that his thirtieth diva thread slid off the front page
The return of the Fat One is a sign that the prophecy will be fulfilled and MA will once again rule this board.
>he has to stop smoking while he trains and for the fight.
This might do more harm than good since he's been pretty habitual about it. That and I didn't set the best example when I smoked a fat bowl with him right before training. you're probably right though, as much as I'd love to see him beat Faggit while high, if he loses, everyone will blame the weed.
Also, I might show him some heel palm strikes and some finger jabs to soft spots to avoid hand fuckage. Don't really want anyone to die or get hospitalized preferably but I don't want him to literally punch himself out by breaking something. Like we're talking about a dude who punched with his hands vertical and his thumbs not tucked in before tonight.
If it gets to crunch time and we know we have no chance, we might just jump Faggit without Ramirez' knowledge. Everybody is pretty sick of his shit and I've fought Fagit when he was drunk and he's really the easiest opponent I've ever had. I snapped him down, choked him out with an anaconda in seconds and then when he woke up and charged me, I choked him out with an anaconda again. I know this guy was drunk but he's fucking stupid to boot.
>So streetfight, very cool badass, much humblebrag
>the moment he gets punched in the fucking face and goes into a panic
That's kind of what we're counting on. I know for a fact that Faggit is weak AF. If 'mirez can get the first shot off and make it good, I think he can do something with that. I'll make him wear a mouthpiece, but i bet someone will call bullshit and make him take it out. I do want to make him carry pocket sand though.
Or my return signals the end times and this board will be deleted, we go to /sp/ and the rasslefags go to /mlp/
Remember to teach him the snap kick.
Tell him to throw it first, since he'll be in kicking range before punching range.
Tell him to aim for the groin or knee.
See if you can find a place that teach Muay Thai. A lot of places do trial memberships. Have him focus on keep his guard up and learning how to punch, let him wail on a bag for a few days. Learning how to move, how to follow through on a punch.
If he's learning fast enough to pick up a clinch, train on that.
Have him watch some youtube videos on boxing and Muay Thai. He's gonna win this with jabs.
Why would you not choke someone when they give you their neck, I don't get it. If I see an easy opening, i'll choke the fuck out of a guy and put him to sleep. By that logic every UFC fighter and BJJer is an absolute faggot. You must not know anything about fighting to say something that retarded.
I'm having him watch youtubes on his own time, there's a TKD class at the community center and I'm betting when he takes a free class there, they'll have him do blocks the first day so they'll cover some of that.
>I'm teaching him the RNC today but I doubt he'll get in position to use it.
Careful with this. People that don't have grappling training that "just know how to RNC" are usually the guys that don't know when to let go. Next minute, the other guy is dead and your friend has a murder charge, and then he rats you out for teaching him the technique.