IT'S THE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA MAGGLE
What will happen on RAW tonight?
Vince and/Steph vs Ramen promo
Boring match without a finish
Stardust Titus because why not
League of Jobbers segment/match
Social Jobbers promo with Rybotch
Boring main event
SEEYA AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE MAGGGLE
Do you guys remember Ziggler's last ICC run where he defended the title against midcarders in decent matches that he always won? He was over as hell. Perfect midcard. Then he was the sole survivor against the odds at SS2014 and people loved hin and it all signalled to a main title run?
He jobbed to a returning Barret and then WWE made jobbers out of them both.
What the fuck, man?
His first one was memorable because of how short and stupid it was
I'm gonna need something to grab hold of whilst she's taking me for a ride around the freaking world.
>have trouble getting Roman top face levels of over
>have him drop the belt at RR and feud with the GOAT heel and top heel/draw of the attitude era, the Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, the Game, the Proverbial Ring General, the Connecticut Blueblood, the leader of the Undisputed Greatest Stable of all time DX, and the COO Hunter Hears in the Road to Wrestlemania before they main event making HHH the man who has main eveted the most Wrestlemanias
Why didn't they think of this before?
>Roman enters at #1
>long entrance through the crowd holding the belt
>gets like five mins raising the belt in the ring
>dueling chants of "LETS GO ROMAN" "ROMAN SUCKS"
>he's soaking it all in making his weird mistimed facial expressions
>#2 comes up
how hard do you mark?
I haven't been this hyped for wrestling in a long time.
I can't wait till HHH makes his return at the rumble and wins.
>Eva Marie is Number 2
>there are actual, literal botches below it
>it wasn't even a botch, just a poorly performed move
le smark pandering maymay fukk romain rains and eva marie xD
Eva Marie takes too long to kick out, the ref has to pull his arm away from the third tap and it's plain as day. I don't think it was that big of a botch and shouldn't be on the list but she should do better.
Also is Eva Marie's finisher the fucking Stratusfaction?
i like eva marie the best out of the "old" generation simply because she don't need no man like BMJ or Dbry to be put over, she'd trump over the Bellas with herself alone.
She went over the top rope decently this past NXT and is being more comfortable with that heel heat she's getting. everybody hating is just a little dork 2bh
Reminder that mandrama makes wootists cry
Don't even care this is funny shit
Ryback ME Main Event jobbing to jobbers for the rest of his career.
Kevin Owens ME all the big PPVs winning feuds for the rest of his career.
>comes back to barely any reaction
>literal shell of his former self
>actually redoing his 2000 entrance
>gut hanging out from under his terrible waistcoat
>not been entertaining since 2010
How do you want your Jericho senpai?
>could come back as a suit wearing meta jerishill shilling for the authority or something at least partially interesting
>comes back as JUSTicho
Chris, just stop, the 90s aren't coming back.
>the 90s aren't coming back
>For starters, the segment where A.J. Styles called a rival a "faggot" is the tip of the iceberg with him. He's a conservative born-again Christian who refuses to use any kind of expletive other than that word. Once, at an IWA Mid-South show, he threatened to Michael Shane that he would "kick his faggot...head" when he realized that he didn't want to use "ass" or a similar term. More infamously, he once told fellow wrestlers that he had recently seen the movie "Jack-A-S-S." All this while constantly calling opponents "faggot" during promos and even exclaiming "Ow! Faggot!" while selling during matches. The latter caused some fans to joke that "it sounded like he was calling his knee a fagot." He loves to call people "faggot."
>Getting away from that word for a moment, he memorably sounded disgusted when a Wrestler Observer Live caller asked him about his "following in the gay community" ("THE GAY COMMUNITY?"). On top of all that, fellow wrestler Lazz (who worked with Styles for years in NWA Wildside), a gay man who did a comedic face painted Britney Spears impersonator gimmick (and got over as a babyface everywhere he went) once told an interviewer that Styles used to preach to him about giving up his "lifestyle."
Cap this post, this is what happens on Raw tonight:
>Roman opens the show with a rambling promo about bbygrl, tater tots and royahrumbuh
>Owens gets the better of Ambrose with some kind of weapon
>Sheamus vs Neville, loser gets #1 spot in the Rumble
>Heyman/Lesnar piss off Vince/Steph, Highlight Reel ends up being a boring promo, Lesnar doesn't wreck shit here
>Becky/Charlotte contract signing
>A bunch of matches nobody cares about
>Social Outcasts def. The Wyatt Family (with help from Ryback and The Dudleys because fuck knows)
>Alberto Del Rio promo on Kalisto, interrupted and ends in a brawl
>Main event is Roman Reigns vs Rusev and The New Day
>Ends in a DQ, Reigns gets beaten down, locker room empties, Lesnar comes out, Reigns and Lesnar clean house and staredown to end
>winner gets #30
nah, they won't do that. it's okay to announce the first couple of guys in advance, but beyond that, it needs to be secret. Half the fun of the rumble is guessing who'll come out next.
>a man has a personal disapproval of the gay lifestyle
>people actually give a shit about this
I will never not be bewildered at this. Who the fuck cares if he doesn't like them? He's not going around braining them in the streets or calling for genocide. Fucking faggots and their sensitivity, I swear. I'd bet most of the offended people aren't even gay, either.
I've heard that Vince wants the Bunny to be #30 and do a quick elemination spot by reigns (And they better not fuck it up this year, goddamit!), who then gets fucked over by sheamus in an "upset". Winner is revealed Saturday though.
anon I need them bulging out of that tight leather. some more on her thighs wouldnt hurt either.
>I will never get to fuck a pregnant chubby brie in her leather ring gear while Bryan is out of town getting medical scans.
In that case why not go for Thikki and cuck bmj
Wouldn't be surprised honestly
Or, he just REALLY fucking hates them
What if it's a work?
>People honestly believe a gay bashing, TNA guy is going to be the next top guy of WWE.
LMAO @ UR LYFE F@M
Best he will get is the IC title and maybe some wwe championship matches, but all he's there for is to job to the best talent in the world, WWE made superstars.
Gorilla posting becomes a meme that spreads to other boards
outlaw wrestling becomes a reddit meme.
15 minutes Authority Promo
Alberto vs. Kalisto (ends in DQ setting up match at Rumble)
New Day lose to I dunno, The Usos (rematch at Rumble)
Um...Ryback does a thing cause he's gonna fight Bray at the Rumble, some combination of him and the Social Outcasts vs. some combination of the Wyatts
We need a diva match I guess, who cares, Becky vs Charlotte at the Rumble so maybe they fight on Raw too
Terrible Roman main event where if he loses he has to come into the Rumble at #1, he loses but post match beats everyone up and stands tall or alternatively he wins but has to come in #2 in Vince McMahon patented swerve
Alberto beats Kalisto in match #6 of their 10 match series, no reaction from the sold out crowd
New Day beat the Usos because they can win when the titles are on the line
Dean beats Owens, during the match we find out he has renamed his finisher to "Dirty Deans"
Bray Wyatt beats Ryback? This match might not happen, my predictions only care so much
Charlotte beats Becky while I'm getting snacks
Roman enters the Rumble at #1 or #2 and wins, he truly has overcome all the odds.
>mfw they legitimately go back to the wymyns championship
Does Raw play on WWE network yet?
I want to subscribe because NXT looks so much better than
Raw that I don't want to see its talent move up to the main roster and get neville'd.
I legitimately forgot he was in that.
Not really fair he got to work in a mania match so soon, even if it was a battle royal.
No idea when hes supposed to return, he was a wasted investment.
By the time he returns he will be overshadowed by these new japs they got.
He will have a yoshi tatsu career at best before they release him.
They legally can't put replays up until a month or so later because of their contract with Hulu.
They aren't risking putting RAW on the Network, but I can see them doing it in the future as a simulcast.
They should make a angle where a women dominates the division but refuse to win the title because she isn't a "Diva" and just restore the Women's championship.
It would please every kek because muh equality.
There's 3 reasons Jericho's bad.
>Jericho was always political. He tried to steal Larry Zbyszko's gimmick once, he talks shit about everyone in his books, he uses better wrestlers like HBK or whoever's hot at the time to get himself over, and the only time he's genuinely pushed the new talent was when the Nexus showed up and he knew they had so little mic talent they couldn't possibly succeed in going over him. Still, superficially "trying" to get them over was just another way of getting himself over, trying to mimic Undertaker's nurturing of newer guys. "I won't swat that fly. I'll leave it alone. Then they'll see, and they'll say, he wouldn't even hurt a fly."
>Vanilla midgets are notorious for riding coattails and resting on their tiny laurels. Wrestling is the only arena where he's seen, so when he's watching and he sees an angle he might possibly have a role in, he'll call up Vince and ask him to inject himself into the center of these young guys who can outperform the hell out of his fat ass. Vince will always do it. Jericho jumped ship before WCW sank and Vince is eternally grateful to him and everyone else who put their money on WWF when they were stealing talent.
>Jericho has been subjected to the softening one undergoes when breaking Kayfabe. Tons of wrestlers from Stone Cold to Roddy Piper exposed themselves as "pretty chill guys" and it shattered the illusion of their in-ring personas. Particularly due to podcasts and constant cringeworthy shilling of the WWE Network. Jericho can feel that the integrity of his character has been compromised, too. He hits his entrance and he can't summon the audacity to deliver a promo like he once did because he knows everyone can see that he's just a middle-aged working man trying to hold on to a world that left him behind. And they think it's pathetic.
>Less gimmicks is a bad thing
>Chris fucking Jericho
Just because someone doesn't have "da look" it doesn't make them vanilla. It's meant to apply to the kinds of wrestlers who just rely on "workrate" and have no personality. Outside of that it has no meaning other than "wrestler I don't like who is under 6'2"
>mfw Haitch comes out at 30 to The Game and gets a massive face pop due to MUH Lemmy
>Less gimmicks is a bad thing
Less gimmicks IS a bad thing. Especially if the jobbers have little to zero personality/presence to begin with.
I mean who the fuck is Kevin Owens? A prize fighter? Bullshit, he looks like some fat ass college roommate.
What's Neville's character? What's Tyler Breeze's character? What's Finn Balor's character?
Just confirming you don't watch. NXT has just as many gimmicks as RAW, probably more, which is impressive seeing that NXT is specifically where they go to work out their gimmicks, which should be ready by the time they are on RAW.
>All the mad homos in this thread talking shit about AJ Styles because they can't handle the bants
I think they brought up that they were on an AMA on Reddit in one of their videos, combined with the fact that they go on r/squaredcircle
Someone should ask the Smarkblisters if they're 4chan users
>(insert wrestler's) face when they win the 3rd annual andre the giant battle royale
And then there's these mad Africans that can't stand Ziggler because he's blonde and everyone loves him!
Not really, he has a different gimmick. Ziggy was "The Show Off" which really didn't mean anything other than he liked to show off a lot.
Breeze is a male model who is obsessed with his appearance and just wants everyone to look at him. He's Zoolander: The Wrestler.
Maybe this shit isn't communicated on RAW, I don't watch that anymore, but on NXT it was pretty clear in every fucking match, spot with him defending his "money making" face, etc, the fucking selfie stick.
Name anyone (full time) on either roster with more of a gimmick than Breeze.
And THEN... *pppfffthaHAHA* You have THESE homos... Who want to pretend Styles hasn't been the most entertaining wrestler everywhere he's been, just cause... JUST because... He's grossed out that they choke on dick!
Can you EVEN possibly get more pathetic?
Touche, I guess literally being the anti-christ is even more gimmicky. Another NXT invention though.
The Ascension actually got toned down when they were called up, they were vampires in NXT not LoD cosplayers.
>mfw roman gets injured in the fake royal rumble tonight and is out for 6 months
But anon, she doesn't look 12 years old anymore
>not wanting the only legitimate threat on the roster to be champ
Losing 50lbs wouldn't do a thing, he'd still move and wrestle at a slower rate because that's his character.
He's botched a few times when he breaks character and works at a faster rate, so did Khali
Owens, he's more of a fat beta, he has more experience in masterbating. Ambrose normally just gets drunk and fucks ugly chicks, he probably can't remember most of the times he's had sex
Yup. His last title reign was a joke.
The saddest part is the IWC was praising it and acting like something good was going to happen.
It's Brock. He doesn't give a shit about wrestling. This was common knowledge even before the Austin podcast.
>Implying he wouldnt be the one wanking himself the most because of his cuck fetish.
>Implying Owens didnt bathe in pussy juice most of his years
>Forgetting his 10/10 wife.
This was actually Regal's last match ever and a great way to go out. It's one of my favorite matches of all time.
The show off is a character. He even had a heel stable. What would you rather we had, back to the days of garbage men and clowns? Was Austin a character? He was just amplified version of himself, just like the show off.
>just in a retarded fashion
Well they do it to be "entertaining", them imitating various wresters/commentators voices. If they didn't do that, they would just be another boring WWE reviewer on youtube.