Archived threads in /asp/ - Alternative Sports & Wrestling - 863. page

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>>2733401
*teleports behind u

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>>2733401
this again

>>2733407
KIKEQUINA CLUTCH!

We would know it when one pins the other after the move.

>>2731960
By the backwards swing of the opponent.

What would REALLY be impossible to see is if an end of days was REVERSED into a rock bottom.

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>>2731960
Shut up, butt head.

>>2731843
Sorry friend but it seems the joke was on you! Greg Hamilton clearly said 'The Artist Known as..." No need for apologies we all make mistakes I know my ears can be a bit rusty sometimes!

Why did they have Sami Zayn cut a promo about how charismatic he is? Why does WWE keep telling me Shinsuke is just bursting with charisma? This is the type of thing you perceive by yourself, you can't be told someone is charismatic and be expected to believe it.

"The most dangerous thing about Shinsuke is his charisma", nigga what the fuck, put over his strikes or something, not something that's kayfabe irrelevant to a wrestling match.

nakameme btfo

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kiwi6.com/file/zlys0xf0mf

>Neville defeated Austin Aries in a Submission match to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Championship ** 3/4 stars

This was bad. These poor fuckers got the death slot. Literally no one cared about this match especially when that one faggot who comes to every fucking show carrying a beach ball fucking distracts the crowd from what is actually happening in the actual fucking match right now. Aries hit Neville with a Superplex cross reverses it into the Last Chancery. They roll out of the ring and continue this submission but since this isn’t “Submissions Count Anywhere” Aries had to break the hold when they made it to the outside. Neville hit The Red Arrow on Aries back then cross reversed that into the Rings of Saturn then won.

>Rich Swann and Sasha Banks defeated Noam Dar and Alicia Fox * 3/4 stars

I have nothing to say about this match besides why the fuck was this taken off the Pre-Show? Why is Dar such a cuck that he has to fucking sell for a woman and not just any woman fucking Sasha “Break my neck by Sneezing too hard” Banks.

>Sheamus and Cesaro defeated The Hardy Boys Matt and Jeff to become the new WWE Tag-Team Champions *** 1/4 stars.

Halfway thru the match, Jeff somehow escaped the cage but didn’t win the match because both of your teammates need to escape with you otherwise it doesn’t fucking count for some unknown stupid reason. So Jeff tries to get back in the cage and Sheamus prevents this from happening by giving Jeff Hardy a concussion with the Brogue against the Steel Door. Sheamus hits his White Noise on Matt from the Top of the Cage then Jeff gets back into the cage and hits Whisper from the Wind off the top.

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Thank you, anon.

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>Samoa Joe defeated Bray Wyatt, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns and Finn Balor *** 3/4 stars

>Through their combine strength which is segregated between Fat and Morbidly obese, both Joe and Wyatt carry a segment of steel steps and ram them into all the Babyfaces one at a time like it was some kind of fucking Pac-Man maze and of course since Babyfaces in 2017 WWE like any kind of common sense they just fucking stand there and get hit like fucking morons. Wyatt picks up a chair kills everyone with it almost swings it at Joe’s head could have potentially given him brain damage missed and hit Balor instead. Wyatt smashes Balor’s crotch with a Steel Chair. Samoa Joe retardedly runs face first into a Steel Chair. Balor beats the shit out of Joe and Wyatt with a chair hitting Bray with a Coast 2 Coast w/ The Chair. Reigns spears Balor and Joe thru the Audience Barricade while Rollins hits Wyatt with a 5-Star Frog Splash thru the Spanish Announce Table

>A whole bunch of shit ends up happening: Rollins tries to hit Reigns w/ the Phoenix Splash despite still bullshitting with the whole terribly selling the knee garbage, fails, walks into a Sister Abigail but Reigns attempts to Spear them both only hits Wyatt. Balor hits Reigns with the Stomp after Superman punching all the other guys only for Joe to win the with the Choke.

>The Miz defeated Dean Ambrose to become the new WWE Intercontinental Champion *** stars

They gave this match way too much time. This match should have gotten 12-15 minutes and they gave it 20. This was like every single House Show match these two have had hundreds of thousands of times. Maryse tries to get Miz disqualified by smacking him but the Ref doesn’t buy it. Ambrose accidentally bumps the ref and before the ref makes the call Miz hits Ambrose w/ the Skull Crushing Finale and just wins. This feud continues.

Depends on how fat you are.

>>2729596
no, have sex

>>2729598
I am 6'2 and 190 lbs

>>2729106
suck a dick

>>2729106
she's based

>35 in developmental

She's earning a paycheck, most likely more than the one she got in japan. I don't think she gives a shit. Plenty of talents were stuck in nxt hell for years too regardless if they were truly "ready" to go. After all, NXT is a brand now.

>>2728375
Saraya?

Is that real?

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>>2728375

>>2725510
Big fella is my hero also

>>2725510
draw dimes

>>2725544
nWo still drawing dimes and Nash has biggest percentage of merchandise rights besides WWE rights.

Nash has 34% (he bought Hall's 17%). Hogan has 17%. WWE has the rest.

Conrad Thompson when he was doing Flair's podcast and Bischoff was guest said he saw Nash's WWE royalty check and it was a huge amount of money.

>>2724399
bah gawd izzy don't do it

>>2724399
NXT worked itself into a shoot

>trying to shoot up one of the most dangerous arenas on earth

As bad as Vince becoming champion was back then, at least he was willing to take bumps. Bliss can't even do that. It also appears that she has, since her main roster push on Smackdown, not improved AT ALL. Like shit, Charlotte got pushed due to nepotism being the worst of the four horsewoman; but she improved herself A LOT since then. Alexa can't even do that. She's because of this arguably the worst champion WWE has ever had.

>>2723444
>is the hottest bimbo since Trish

>>2723444

When did she bury Sasha?

>Samoa Joe's Diner
pottery

>>2723436
Feed the beast

>>2723396
>Home of the famous "Rocket Dog"
So it's confirmed that Smoejo fucked Vince in the ass with his "rocket dog" and that's why he's getting pushed now?

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Have you trained your takedowns today?

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>>2686886
medieval manga is best manga

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>>2686974
oh yeah

He'll end his career as the man who killed WWE.

>>2742204
That's not John Cena.

>>2742204
A sad accomplishment when the company to used to work for died during your reign

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>>2742188

>yfw you watch WWE "programming"

Your chart makes literally no sense. How is Styles and deanetty higher than everyone on raw when smackdown can't draw ratings to save its life.
Fake news.

>>2742198
I counted RAW ratings only.
It's sort of a given anyone on Smackdown will draw sub 2.00 numbers.
It's why I said AJ and Dean were "the last ones to accomplish it". Neither man has drawn 2.00+ since July 22, 2016

>>2742065
I don't think they could get Roman over with a catapult at this point. Not unless he takes a lot of time off TV and comes back as a dick head heel, and embraces the crowd reaction. But even then, I feel like the damage has been done and his character will never recover.

>>2742065
could've worked last year, but now he's beyond the pale

>>2742220

There's just no chance it's happening with out a ring gear and gimmick change. The look and big dog shit is tainted beyond recovery.