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Herpes
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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I recently had a fling with this girl I had dated in Highschool.

Two weeks into dating I realized I had a cold sore. I asked her if she knew any remedies, to which she broke down and admitted that she knowingly gave me herpes. I am sad now.

I now have 6 sores in my mouth, and so far nothing on my junk.

Needless to say we are no longer dating, what now? I am virtually untouchable to girls as cute as she was.

Pic related.
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>>16899360
Slap her. And then live you life like everyone else spreading herpes. This is honestly why I express my fear of herpes before I kiss someone.
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>>16899360
Are you in the United States? If you are, use your phone (in your pocket or w/e) to record her admitting that she knowingly gave you herpes.

Then sue her.
>http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2012/06/herpes_verdict_in_portland_wom.html

What this bitch did is tantamount to rape. She knowingly did something to you without your knowledge that will negatively impact you for the rest of your life.

If that were me, I would make this girl regret the day she saw my face. Take her entire life legally via the courts.
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>>16899375
....

Did you just compare herpes to rape?

Seriously?

Have you not ever actually met anyone who was raped? Do you know what rape is?

Also... if guarantee you if you try and sue someone over a cold sore in your mouth, something more than 50% of the adult population has, you will get laughed out of the court and get yelled at for wasting their time.

Babies. The both of you.
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>>16899380
HAHAHAHAHAH
>if guarantee you if you try and sue someone over a cold sore in your mouth, something more than 50% of the adult population has, you will get laughed out of the court and get yelled at for wasting their time.
Yeah because that's what happened in the *actual real life article that I cited* riiiiiight? Looks like your "guarantee" isn't worth shit.

>Did you just compare herpes to rape?
>Seriously?
Yes, and it's a logical analogy. Feel free to offer something logical in rebuttal or else I don't give a fuck after this post.
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>>16899380
herpes can cause cancer which you already have a 90% chance of getting.
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>>16899375
>>16899375
OP here.
I am really worried about dating in the future.
I am sad, but revenge won't get me anywhere. Have any of you dated someone w/ herpes, do you have herpes yourself? What precautions should I take with future partners, etc.
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>>16899360
Listen faggot. I've been back in town for a little over a month and and I've already fucked 3 new holes and the second and third I dicked down in the same day. But I'm about 100% sure the 2nd was dirty because she pretty much fucks everyone but you gotta do what you gotta do. I think she had herps to but wouldn't let me kiss her.
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>>16899390
>but revenge won't get me anywhere
But it WILL get you PAID, and you are going to need money for:
>doctor's visits
>medication
>being wealthier so women will be more likely to get over your herpes
You shouldn't have to pay all of those costs just because this stupid bitch didn't have the decency to tell you the truth before she knowingly gave you a disease that will negatively impact you the rest of your life.

You're like a rape victim who says she won't report it because she doesn't want to get "revenge." It's not revenge; it's fucking justice. /end angry internet rant.

> Have any of you dated someone w/ herpes, do you have herpes yourself? What precautions should I take with future partners, etc.
I've had women tell me they've had it and, honestly, it's meant that we couldn't have sex. I tried to be as kind as possible about it but...

Condoms don't fully protect any future partners you have against herpes. Also, you can be a symptomatic and spread it to your partners without you even thinking you're doing it because you don't have a visible sore. Also, since it's in your mouth, you can give people herpes just by kissing them... and going down on a chick can transfer your oral herpes to her vagina.

Honestly? I would get on a dating website for people who also have herpes so that you can be around women who understand. The general populace of this country is pretty dumb as fuck when it come to STDs. You'll need to find someone understanding.
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Wait, you cancer herpes from kissing?
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>>16899405
>Genital herpes is transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal, and oral sex. Transmission can happen even if genitals only touch infected skin, and no penetration occurs. Oral herpes is most often contracted through kissing someone with a cold sore.
>http://www.hhs.gov/opa/reproductive-health/stis/herpes/

The following insult is not meant to be personal Anon. Do not let it affect your self esteem....

...but OP this is what I'm talking about when I say most people don't know their asses from their elbows when it comes to STDs.
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>>16899390 just go back to dating her then. You are perfect for each other now. Nothing can go wrong.
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>>16899384
>Yeah because that's what happened in the *actual real life article that I cited* riiiiiight? Looks like your "guarantee" isn't worth shit.

Yeah. I did. Did you?

Genital herpes is not the same thing oral cold sores. Like I said. Over half the adult population has cold sores.

She also "testified that she asked her date to wear a condom and he said OK, but the next thing she knew he wasn't wearing a condom and it was too late."

It was also in Portland.


Logic my ass.

I bet you also consider it rape when you have sex with a without a condom, she gets pregnant, and she decides not to have an abortion.

Get the fuck out of here. Come back when you have Jamal take your ass one night with a knife against your throat, and then tell me herpes is the same thing as rape.
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>>16899416
>don't go ass-to-mouth
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>>16899426
>Cold sores are caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV). There are two types of herpes simplex virus: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Both virus types can cause sores around the mouth (herpes labialis) and on the genitals (genital herpes).
>http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/tc/cold-sores-topic-overview

So no, oral cold sores ARE HERPES. You're 0/2 now dumbass.

But I already knew you were a dumbass when:
Your response to this:
>Yeah because that's what happened in the *actual real life article that I cited* riiiiiight? Looks like your "guarantee" isn't worth shit.
was
>Yeah. I did.
Yeah you did what? Because I didn't ask you if you read the article... dumbass.

I'm cracking up over here Mr. "Yeah. I did." O'RLY? Not that it matters because you don't even know that oral cold sores are herpes. Who can trust someone so stupid? It invalidates the rest of what you're saying.
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>>16899404
rip
well thanks for your input, it feels good just talking about it somewhere.
Have a good day.
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>>16899455

Oh you want to play semantics now? I never said they weren't herpes. I just said cold sores =/= genital herpes. They're the same virus. Yup. But 50%+ vs 16%, and one is on your genitals.

I was stating that I actually did read the article, and that prompted the question whether YOU actually did because you stated "that's what happened in the *actual real life article that I cited*"--implying the two things are exactly the same--when it isn't the case at all.

Dumbass.
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>>16899380

someone has herpes and is getting defensive

Herpes is disgusting as fuck and obviously people who have herpes are dirty and disgusting themselves

I give my sincerest condolences OP, but the guy that said sue her is right. You will have to live the rest of your life having herpes and if you have any conscience you will tell all your future partners about it before you do stuff

Probably will have to use one of those herpes only dating communities online. This is a life altering occurance and you SHOULD sue that bitch for knowingly giving you it. That IS rape in a way and you should get what money you are owed since you now have to live with it forever
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>>16899487
>Oh you want to play semantics now?
Hey fool, you're the one who lacks the ability to be clear in what you are actually saying. First, it's that a guy is going to be laughed out of the court
>CITATION NEEDED
because I provided an article where HERPES - genital or otherwise - was successfully prosecuted. I've satisfied the burden of proof. You haven't. Not my fault you don't get this. I could also go on and on:

>http://www.vibe.com/2013/06/nyc-woman-suing-after-rihannas-riri-woo-lipstick-gave-her-herpes/
>A New York City woman filed a lawsuit against Mac Cosmetics after she contracted Herpes at a Rihanna concert. As ridiculous as this sounds, the woman has a case, if she can prove it.
http://www.sdinjuryfirm.com/suing-someone-for-giving-you-herpes/
>Here are some examples of infections that frequently result in litigation: HIV/AIDS, genital herpes, HSV-1, HSV-2, HPV, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, and others. Please consult a lawyer in your area regarding the specifics of your case.
NOTICE THE PRESENCE OF HPSV-1. That's a legal website. You want to argue with them idiot?

> I never said they weren't herpes.
You actually never "said" anything idiot, but you didn't exactly make anything clear now did you? No, you just went off on some fuck shit without any evidence.
>I was stating that I actually did read the article
No one asked you that. You responded to a question that no one asked you acting as if I did.

Because you can't read.

And you can't logic.

GTFO here.
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>>16899511

Actually no. No herpes in any form.

But I know, and love a lot of rape victims (like literally abused as a child or drugged and raped victims), and I also know whoever suggested the lawsuit was fucking retarded for thinking genital herpes is the same thing as oral if it comes down a court case.
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>>16899380
>girl gives guy herpes
>guy gets laughed at
>guy gives girls herpes
>sue him

You're a fucking roastie whore that should kill herself.
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>>16899360
Be grateful you aren't this guy
>>16899537
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>>16899511
>”Herpes is disgusting as fuck and obviously people who have herpes are dirty and disgusting themselves”

Many people who have oral herpes, for example, got it in their childhood by kissing family members who unknowingly had herpes. It is not their fault.

>”dirty and disgusting”
>High amount of children
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>>16899380
>knowingly giving someone a disease that will affect them for the rest of their life
>not horrible

I agree that it was a shite comparison, but come on
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>>16899360
>I now have 6 sores in my mouth, and so far nothing on my junk.
Oral herpes and genital herpes are entireley seperate viruses, and they're not cross communicable. To put that another way if she has a mouth full of cold sores and sucks you off, you don't get dick rot from it.

As far as treatment goes you can't do anything about the virus itself, but you can control the symptoms pretty well. Get yourself some 2% w/w aciclovir cream and apply it with a clean finger 5 times a day. If you're allready having a flare up it might take 3-4 days for it to actually work. If you catch it right at the start of a breakout before the sores form, when you get a tingling in your lips, you might just have some redness and swelling for a day or two then that's it.

Assuming you have a normal immune system you should only really get flare ups when you're very run down - a week of getting up to feed the baby every night then working all day, running 3 marathons in 5 days, something like that.

>Needless to say we are no longer dating, what now?
My honest advice would be to ring her and say "sorry, it was a bit of a shock and I got caught up in the moment, didn't mean it, lets get back together, k tnx bai". Granted, it wasn't very nice of her to not tell you about the herpes, but stop and think for a minuite - she probably did it because she really likes you and didn't want to scare you off. It also sounds like you're in to her in a big way too. You're pretty much limited to dating girls with the disease now (unless you're going to do the same thing to someone else as she did to you), and it's not like you can catch it twice, so you might as well try and get back in with her.
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>>16899380
I would rather be raped than have herpes.

Oh wait I have been.

Thank god the guy who raped me didn't give me an STD because at least I can still have a healthy sex life.
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>>16899360
>admitted that she knowingly gave me herpes
Lawsuit.
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>>16899596
It was a great comparison because rape is what? The forcible theft of your right to your own body followed by trauma and emo?

How is that materially different than a woman intentionally giving you herpes, which violates your right to your own body/safety, that is followed by trauma and emo?

Seems pretty fucking similar to me.
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>>16899887
>To put that another way if she has a mouth full of cold sores and sucks you off, you don't get dick rot from it.
Completely and utterly false.
>HSV-1 is usually passed from person to person by kissing. HSV-1 can also spread from the mouth to the genitals during oral sex (fellatio, cunnilingus, analingus). If this happens, it becomes a case of genital herpes.

HSV-2 is most often passed by vaginal sex and anal sex. But just as HSV-1 can infect the genitals and cause genital herpes, HSV-2 can pass from one person's genitals to another person's mouth, resulting in oral herpes.
>http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-basics#2

Like I've previously said in this thread, people don't know their asses from their elbows about STDs. You people have Google. There really isn't an excuse.
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OP, herpes outbreaks are the worst when you first get it. Afterwards they tend to happen when something has lowered your immune system (like other sickness or stress), and they become less common over time until you pretty much don't get them anymore.
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>>16899887
><You're pretty much limited to dating girls with the disease now (unless you're going to do the same thing to someone else as she did to you), and it's not like you can catch it twice, so you might as well try and get back in with her.
Oh my fucking god can you please just leave the thread and never come back?

The girl intentionally gave him an STD and you want to .... reward her by getting back with her?? Are you a patent retard?
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>>16899887
I understand that it's frightening to have an STD and it makes you feel like nobody will ever be with you, but she absolutely did something very wrong. She was selfish and inconsiderate and ignored his health in favor of her own personal comfort.
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>>16899360
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if you got cold sores in your mouth, you will most likely not get them on your junk. After a while you will get outbreaks rarer and rarer, or stop getting them completely. Just put cold sore patches on them, and they'll go away eventually.

I got cold sores as a child, no idea how I got them.
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>>16899390

My GF gave me genital warts.

I should have been mad, and I was mad. I told her I had some lumps. She played stupid for all of a day. When she admitted to me it was her that evening she was crying and shaking. She said it was ok if I wanted to break up with her. But I couldn't do it cause the 3 months I'd spent with her were too good. And if she'd told me she had warts to start with I probably wouldn't have hit it.

We're still seeing each other now.

Genital warts don't hurt though so I don't know about herpes. How the fuck did they get in your mouth? Did you suck her dick?
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>>16900118
Damn I would not have reacted that way I would have broken off immediately.

Just how can someone be so selfish to give someone something that will affect them the rest of their life?
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>>16899975

Thats like saying I intentionally give the guy I work next to a cold every time I get a cold.

OP now knows - having an STD is intimidating, but he also needs to know that its not the end of his sex life. I know lots of couples where one gets cold sores and the other doesn't.

The issue is, can the OP hold himself to the standard that hes set for this girl - that he would tell every girl that wants kiss him "oh hey I have herpes"? Regardless of whether or not he has an outbreak? And even if he can hold himself to that standard, he now knows how hard a situation it is and he should have empathy for the girl who gave it to him.

Now two weeks into a fling, its pretty hard to forgive something like that. But its still something to consider. If he likes her as a person he has the means to turn this situation from something negative that damages both partiesinto something positive that strengthens both parties through acceptance.

Also, what better way to get your hole while your condition clears up?
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>>16899360
A massive amount of the population has oral herpes.
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>>16900133

It was a hard decision. And I made it knowing that I couldn't hold it over her head and bring it up later, because that would defeat the purpose of offering her that forgiveness and it would damage our relationship.

Warts work their way through your system eventually, its not like you keep having outbreaks until you're 80. The virus actually leaves 80% of people after 18 months. Herpes is different, but the outbreaks for herpes lessen over time: My mum used to get coldsores all the time when I was younger, she never gets them now.

When I first got warts I spent all day at work researching it. Its only when you look at this shit you realise how common and manageable it is. Genital warts are the 2nd most common STD in Britain.

I know on 4chan advice tends to be given on the assumption that you can't let someone take advantage of you in a relationship. You have to be stern and set boundaries. But the girl in front of me was a mess, she was so sad and so remorseful, and she was willing to humiliate herself infront of me by telling the truth. I could have dumped her, and I considered it. This would have hurt her and I would have proceeded to feel sorry for myself while I dwelled on how I was wronged and wanked myself off like a lonely cunt for the next 18 months - waiting for my penis got smooth again. The alternative was that I could forgive her and erase my self pity. I could show her the courtesy that she was never shown by the guy who gave it to her, and I could avoid the indignity of having to tell the next girl "Oh yeah wait I have a warty cock".

Its not like she gave me HIV. These things aren't life and death, yeah they might slightly increase your risk of cancer but what doesn't?
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Got a cold sore. Never going to fuck/kiss another person again.
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>>16900270
I think this is the most mature post I have EVER read on 4chan in all my years. Kudos to you man, and good luck with your lady.
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>>16900133
>Damn I would not have reacted that way I would have broken off immediately.
This. I'd prolly beat the living crap out of her too.
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>>16900270
I know how you feel man. To an extent. Good luck.
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CONTEXT
Yo op I have oral herpes. They were given to me by my grandmother at a young age. I learned that I had oral herpes from my stepdad who constantly teased me about it. Growing up I learned what it truely ment to have a cold soar at about freshman year of highschool when stds became a big talk in my circle of friends. Knowing I had an std was devestating at that age. However as I aged I learned oral herpes are not that big of a deal and can be managed well.
HOW I DEAL WITH IT
Most girls that dig you will be fine if u have oral herpes. Just take relationships slow. Let them know before you kiss you have a cold sore (sometimes it kills any chance) explain that the only time it can be spread is when they are flaring up. Usually stress causes my cold sores to flare up for me (so like finals or crazy months at work I stop kissing). If you do research well and learn when u are gonn flare up u should be able to prevent the spread
TLDR
do some research
make sure people u potentially could spread it to know ahead of time (chicks usually dont care)
its not the end of the world (or your sex life)
Stay strong op
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>>16900270
>sunk cost fallacy
you people are cucks.
>gf gives you aids
>Well, I already have aids now. Might as well stay with her
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>>16900322
>explain that the only time it can be spread is when they are flaring up
This is a lie and you should be sued for spreading herpes.
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>>16899390
Well you just posted her photo jeez
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>>16900045

>denial: the comic
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>>16899360
>Knowingly gave me herpes
I'd knowingly give her a fist to the jaw and a trip to the hospital. Thanks for forever changing my sex life you dumb cunt. I'd be fucking furious.
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>>16899511
You can get oral herpes from using a cup if someone in your family has it. I have had a cold sore - before I ever kissed anyone. Likely I drank from a cup of a family member who had the virus. I never had more than a small cold sore during an actual cold but my parents explained to me about oral herpes and transmission but some facts:
1) if you have oral herpes you are much less likely to get genital herpes
2) many many people have oral herpes you could get it and not know for years
3) typically herpes is transmitted during an active outbreak but before the herpes blister is showing. So when someone is itching or it has just begun to show. By the time it is visible it is already losing its ability to transmit. So ability to protect yourself is low.

Now, someone like me I have had three cold sores my whole life. The first when I was about eleven and then twice later in life during colds when my immune system was weak. I only ever had one small blister and with abreva the last two were hardly noticeable. My boyfriend knows I have oral herpes, and he probably has it too because he says he has "had a cold sore" but he has a strong immune system.

Some people get bad outbreaks and they have multiple blisters. I have also known lesbians who will break out badly in cold sores when they are actively eating pussy, but I am not sure why.


But for mild oral herpes it isn't so bad. It is something of protection against genital herpes and a single mild cold sore 3 times in 30 years... No big deal.

I am not sure why the virus is bad in some and not in others. Either a more potent virus or a weaker immune system?
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>>16899583
This is true
From family members
Or just sharing crap at daycare

I have seen 4 year olds at daycare with a cold sore.
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>>16899887
That is not true!
Same virus!!!! You can definitely get genital herpes from oral herpes but the likelihood of having both is VERY low so having oral herpes can be seen as a positive. But it does sound potent!
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>>16900045
Why Lesbians?
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>>16899426
Quit being a fucking social justice warrior. Both are illegal and morally fucked up, other details do not matter in this discussion and if you want to keep arguing about extraneous details then it's no wonder nobody here has openly said that they agree with you. Chill the fuck out.
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>>16900406
wut? Lesbians?

That's actually a personification of the artist talking to her younger younger self in the comic.

IIRC, in addition to her web comic, her and her boyfriend review sextoys (in web-comic form). I think she's sponsored or works in tandem with Penny Arcade.
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>>16899360
>she broke down and admitted that she knowingly gave me herpes

Report her to the CDC
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>>16899532
>NYC case: omg i got oral herpes from this cosmetics vendor and i totally didn't already fucking have it
>what is the likelihood of suing and winning for oral herpes, of which half the adult population in America already has but is likely to be asymptomatic
>do you know what asymptomatic means
>what is specific state law regarding knowing transmission of STDs
>all these fucking "citations" that are specific to certain states

Fuck off.
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>>16900302
I think its one of the saddest things I've read and even sadder that you condone it.
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>>16899360
>tfw you haven't fucked an asian girl in the ass without a condom yet
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>>16899360

That's Fucking Bullshit! Can't you file charges against her or something!?
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>>16899455
nice dubs. the person you're arguing with is an idiot, i know how frustrating it can be lowering yourself to their level. dont bother
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