I'm so tired of being alone, not having anyone to talk to outside of internet forums, not having anyone who cares about me (orphaned), I just want someone to tell me they love me and be able to tell them I love them too.
I'm a khv and have trouble looking women in the eye. I've never had gay thoughts in the past but I'm considering it now, I think I'm bi but I've never tested it. The only time I ever went out years ago (to a bar) I was hit on by a cute, well dressed guy who brought me drinks but I didn't realise he was hitting on me till my "friends" told me later, we spoke for maybe an hour and it was really nice, I was so comfortable around him. Thinking back on it now I feel so stupid for not realising and not pursuing him.
I'm wondering how I meet gay guys and how I identify guys as gay, I'm really shy and often visibly shake in social situations so going to a bar again is no longer an option for me. I've thought of using grindr but in the end that is just a hookup site, I don't want to hookup I want to take things very slowly, I want to snuggle and hold hands and let my emotions develop with the relationship.
Aside from this and my social problems my life is on track. I have a good career and a home, I just want someone to love me.
>tfw no replies
Is it because it's gay advice? No one will help unless it's girl advice? :/
Gays are fucking everywhere nowadays you find them just like anyone else, and don't pull that dumb IS IT COS I'M GAY THAT YOU WON'T HELP only 20 minutes after you made a thread bullshit you needy annoying fuck.
Stop idealizing fantasies for yourself and accept that you need to not be a child and you most likely can't have a little sickeningly sweet fairy tale relationship. People hook up then the relationship happens AFTER. Use Tinder, or something.
>Gays are fucking everywhere nowadays you find them just like anyone else
I don't live in a big city. The last gay guy I saw was the one who hit on me and that was 5 years ago.
How am I a child, because I want love? In every other way I'm an adult.
>People hook up then the relationship happens AFTER
Wtf? No, I've never been in a relationship but I know that's wrong.
You're a child because you have 0 relationship experience (very key here) and want an idyllic cuddly wuddly snuggle fest from the get go with your one true love. You sound like a girl who wants a disney prince you infantile twat.
Also yes that is the case for most people, you find someone, you hook up, and then things happen AFTER that.
Join the real world at some point instead of acting like a sheltered baby, if you don't live in a place with faggots like yourself then you're limited to online dating.
Why do you have to belittle me in every reply?
>join the real world
>faggots like you
Oh so that's why. Although I have zero experience in relationships I know I have a hell of a lot more life experience than you.
You shouldn't be giving advice to anyone.
This is the worst advice I've ever read and I just came from the opposite gender thread.
OP ignore this asshole. If I was you I'd try grindr and let the guys you match with know you want a relationship and you're inexperienced in this stuff, a lot og guys want inexperienced "cute" guys which judging from what you've said so far you are.
If that's what you want to tell yourself to feel better about what a naive clueless child you are go ahead, but it won't bring you closer to being less of a lonely queer who wants things he can't have.
>advice should be nice and friendly
Not that guy, but advice doesn't have to be nice and friendly; 99% of the time it isn't.
You're here for someone to tell you everything will be fine and if you do X you'll get Y. It doesn't really happen like that. /adv/ isn't a hugbox, if you want someone to tell you it's ok to be sad and make you feel better about yourself, direct your browser at tumblr.
My advice to you is pretty simple: get off 4chan, go outside and start actually conversing with people. Go to a bar when some form of sporting event is on and bullshit your way into a conversation, go from there. Making new aquantances isn't difficult anon; you just need to put yourself out there.
I don't want your advice, that guy is right you're just an asshole.
You call me naive yet I've dealt with the deaths of my mother and the suicide of my father at 17, own my own home and have a good job.
>I think I'm bi but I've never tested it
Just go away.
Looking at other threads 99% of the time it is. It's just idiots that obviously use r9k and come here to spew shit at people.
You just gave me advice without belittling me.
>Go to a bar when some form of sporting event is on and bullshit your way into a conversation, go from there. Making new aquantances isn't difficult anon; you just need to put yourself out there.
If I drink before hand and walk I could manage to go to a bar lone but bullshitting my way into conversations? I don't know where I'd start.
I imagine it going like this.
>arrive at bar lone
>walk in past all the groups of ppl and buy a drink
>sit with my back against a wall and drink
>walk up to group of guys and say hi
>get a hi back and proceed to get stared at like why is this guy talking to us
And I go blank there, like the guy said socially I am naive, where would I go from here?
Anon, I don't have gay experience myself but my best friend does. He wants to find love just like you, except that he's a massive slut and has fucked probably a thousand guys in his life.
He tells me about the gay community being skewed towards promiscuity and casual sex etc.. So there's always a big dick in the way when you're looking for heart. He just had his 'supposedly' last gay orgy during Mardi Gras last week so I can't advise on his experiences beyond that.
But.. If you can go to a section of town where openness is more welcome and find a good bar there where you can talk to dudes.. That would be my suggestion. Trying to find someone online who doesn't just want to fuck sounds like it might be a long search.
Otherwise, maybe seek out transgender women, preferably with 1-2 years of hormone therapy. The few I've been with were also very easy to talk to, amd also had a caring nurturing side to them that a man doesn't usually express.
Best of luck and stay positive.
That part comes later. The reason I said sporting event is because people are here for that reason, and you all (in theory) have common ground. Start talking about the game and move on from there. I don't struggle with this part of life and my mates have asked me before how I do it; and to be totally honest I have no idea. I'll start a convo about something going on and it goes from there. I've even ended up on random nights out with tourists thanks to it; naybe I'm just approachable I dunno.
Someone people can be assholes, granted, but you'd be surprised how open people are to conversation. Where do you live by the way, town, city? Don't need an exact location just roughly what you're working with.
Clubs and stuff for what you hold an interest in are also worth checking out
>except that he's a massive slut and has fucked probably a thousand guys in his life.
That's why I'm hesitant to use grindr, from what I understand gays are stereotyped as very promiscuous. I definitely need to try face to face.
Trans could be a good idea but I doubt there are many in my town.
Oh, right that's a good idea. I am ok at small talk because of work but only if there's a subject, I don't really like sports but I could fake it especially drunk.
My town has a population of 60k, we have 2 clubs but one's a strip club. I'd be ok alone in a bar but a club is a bit daunting. Unfortunately I can't dance unless I'm rolling hard and I probably still can't then ;_;
Tomorrows Friday so I'm just going to bite the bullet and go to a bar alone. When I put things off I over think them and end up never doing it. Surely someone else will be alone and I can try and talk to them.
>tfw find nice guy
>socially awkward, looking for love, alone like me
>an ocean away
Life is sucking real hard right now.
It'll be ok anon. We'll find out special someones one day.