>>16899464 Perhaps, perhaps men just want to believe. I won't judge a guy for finding a girl attractive and wanting her to be into him. I will just a guy for being creepy about it/violating people's rights, but look at what she actually said: >>16898758 >I hate it when guys misinterpret my intentions. As if it's totally clear every time and OH GAWD why don't men knoooow!
Maybe it's because she's not clear with her intentions? But that would require her to take some responsibility for her own actions and we can't have that now can we?
>>16899488 >Maybe it's because she's not clear with her intentions? But that would require her to take some responsibility for her own actions and we can't have that now can we?
Dude... My girlfriend was once at a bar waiting for me to get there, so she was watching the game and bobbing her head to some music.
>Some guy started chatting with her about the game, so she started chatting back. He offered to buy her a drink and she told him no thanks, and that she was waiting for someone. He bought a drink anyway and put it in front of her. She politely took it not to be rude, and said, "Umm... Thank I guess.But I owe you one back" (she has a thing about not being in other peoples debt) so she bought him his next round. I get there and I greet my girlfriend with a hug and a kiss, and in the corner of my eye I see a dude scrunch up his face with a scowl all butt hurt, and dart straight for the bathroom. She turns around to introduce us and says, "Oh, where did he go?", he completely ghosted and didn't come back again.
>My best friend is gay. She comes out with me to bars. Sometimes I have to pretend I'm her boyfriend because if she's alone, guys will pester the fuck out of her. >She was dancing alone, and some guy started dancing with her, and she told him, "Dude, I'm ok. I don't want to dance with you". So he said "ok" and left her alone for 5 minutes. Til he came back again, "Dude. Seriously. I'm ok. Leave me alone", leave again. 5 Minutes later, "Dude. Fuck off". I end up having to run interference and shove him off because he won't leave her the fuck alone. >At a bar, she's having a drink while i'm in the bathroom. Guy approaches and starts hitting on her. I get back in time to hear her say, "Sorry dude, but I'm gay.", to which he responds, "Oh Reeeaally? Maybe you just haven't met the right guy."
It's shit like that that makes me get why girls get all uppity sometimes.
Hell, I've been to gay bars with my friend, and had dudes do the exact same shit to me.
>>16898808 Then why tha fuck are you posting anon?! You could be getting your dick wet, anyways go with your gut and go and make your life interesting it's better then not doing it and jacking off to Chinese cartoons yet another day
This one MANY times. That's why I gave you three examples off the top off my head that i'd been present for, and I'm not even a chick.
Go ahead and ask any moderately attractive woman if they have any stories where a guy wouldn't fuck off even when they'd made themselves perfectly--explicitly--clear.
It's also not her responsibility to protect YOUR---a complete strangers--feelings. It's her responsibility to protect herself, not to read your mind and assume you'll be a social psycho (though a lot have to, because that's what experience teaches them--as evidenced by the above examples).
I'm just saying, you're naive if you think that just making yourself clear is always enough, or that it should be that women should ALWAYS have to be on the guard when dealing with men. That shit's exhausting, and if you're going to say that, it should run both ways.
There are also plenty of examples of posts on here where guys will get butt hurt when a woman makes it clear straight off the bat that she's not romantically interested btw.
>>16899569 Hey now, you calm down. I don't agree with him either and the content of what you're saying is on point (minus the suicidal urging), but the dude's post was polite and thoughtful. he wasn't offensive or rude in any way.
He doesn't deserve the hate anon. Make the community better not worse.
>>16899592 OK you just went from OK and polite to being a complete asswipe in one post. Congrats. >Go ahead and ask any moderately attractive woman if they have any stories where a guy wouldn't fuck off even when they'd made themselves perfectly--explicitly--clear. Do you know how to read? >No one is denying that sometimes people misinterpret obvious signals. Because I just covered that. >It's also not her responsibility to protect YOUR---a complete strangers--feelings. Annnnnnnnnnd none of the posts you're replying to said that. Way to project. >not to read your mind and assume you'll be a social psycho AAAAAAANNNND no one said that either. >you're naive if you think that just making yourself clear is always enough AAAAAAANNNNNNND no one said that either. >and if you're going to say that, it should run both ways. ... but seriously. Did you fail out of English or something? That's exactly what i said. >Both parties have a responsibility to be clear
You need to stop responding to what you think people are saying and respond to what's actually said please. Shit. You obviously have some sort of emo baggage because my post was very, very fair. So I'll ask again: >You have a problem with personal responsibility or something when it comes to women? Both parties have a responsibility to be clear; it's not always the man's fault. Homie.
I'm not just responding to you, but to the climate of the thread a whole.
I think we disagree as to what personal responsibility is, but either way
I'm going to make two assertions, and not flesh them out, because it'd be a wall of text and a half, and I've got to get to work soon.
Assertion 1.) Women are more emotionally intelligent as a whole.
Assertion 2.) Men have a much more one track mind, and are more likely to ignore social cue's if they don't align with their own views
That's human nature.
That nature plus, society norms means Woman are less likely to peruse a man that's not interested (they can read social cues better, and pump the breaks). Conversely men are MUCH MUCH more likely to peruse someone who's not interested (because they can't as easily read the signs, and because they will ignore some).
Women have to say "No" to men much more than men have to say "No" to women.
And that creates an imbalance when it comes to the "personal responsibility" you mentioned.
It shouldn't be on them to constantly say No. From even my limited experience with men at gay bars, that can get draining as fuck, especially when some men take No's as "try harder", and especially when you just want to be left alone to hang with friends.
That imbalance is why I have sympathy, and why I think more guys should acknowledge, Yeah, we can be assholes and pigs, so we should apply a little understanding as to why women might make that assumption after being hounded for so long.
Am I saying there aren't women who bitch over nothing? No. Just that bitching about them bitching is the equivalent at them bitching about all men being pigs.
If you're flaming or hating them for it, you're sitting on the fringe extreme just as much as they are.
>>16899751 I agree with your argument not you assertions. I think healthy men (i.e not your basement dweller) are just as emotional mature as women. Hell a large part of memes is a connection at an emotional level. The real reason women seem more attuned is because society stifles male signs of emotion - we learn that signs of emotion is weakness.
So we see people try an approach that's in line with male bravado and what society tries to say works (bieng a Bruce Wayne, wolf of wall street 'alpha') instead of a more emotionally open and quirky form of alpha (Andy from Parks or Aziz in Master of none.) The latter are just as Alpha in their regard of taking control of their life, but have very gentle and comical natures.
If asked who people would WANT to be though, I'm sure many guys think they're James Bond at the bar/club and need a 80k salary to 'pull bitches'.
>Going to bars to meet people Everyone goes to the bar, this is the ultimate pleb joint, and because alcohol is involved, you're guaranteed bad experiences, especially between genders. Shit tier people have a way of making themselves known more easily than good people.
>>16899592 >People actually defend women treating men like they're weird for being attracted to them This is what progressivism gave us, with fornication, and destruction of Christian institutions. Nobody realizes how bad relations between the sexes are right now.
>>16899829 >>16900400 I hate to break it to you, but no one cares if it makes men livid. >refusing a drink and giving a relevant reason That's all you need. She doesn't need to give you her life story along with a critical analysis of why she doesn't want you near her.
Even so, guys, what follows is the truth: Girls complain a lot about men staring at them and attending them. They go to the point of claiming that even if they were walking nude on the street, this should not be taken as consent. Amirite? >You try to talk to her up casually = you're creepy >So you decide to go for transparency and consent: "I like you" = either you're labelled as creepy or you gave away too much and ruined your chances >so you keep clear and mind your own business and respect their space = they say men don't have balls to break the ice UNLESS you're Chad. If you're Chad you can be the worst manipulative misogynist on earth and she will let you get away with murder... because her delusional mind is in your favour.
There is a phenomenon called "emotional dissonance". It is something due to different input and parallel processing in our brain. Our natural system seeks consistency and to reduce dissonance.
So best case scenario is to create a situation of dissonance that she has to cope with. Ultimately, she will accept the conclusion she likes you just because this is the best way to reduce her own internal dissonance.
>>16903177 This is what you don't get. Negging goes up to a certain point.
I met dudes who pretended to be grumpy hoping that this reverse psychology might attract more girls.
Inevitably, they failed.
What I am talking here is to create entire situations. I am not debating cheap talk and flirting. I am saying that either you impress her and full stop (i.e. you are the Chad of the day) or you create situations in which they have to like you for a reason but in a way that doesn't make them feel certain it is mere friendly appreciation. Or you have to create a situation in which they do you a favour so that they have to justify the gratuity with the idea they like you.
Benjamin Franklin used to get positive feedbacks from his sworn enemies by asking them favours and involving them in his projects. He doesn't like me? I'll ask him for a book and pretend he's the only one who owns it. He cannot refuse because he feels superior, but he will also elaborate the idea after all I am a nice person because I rely on him.
>>16899829 "I'm waiting for someone" when she could have said "I'm waiting for my boyfriend"
What part of this does your neandathal brain not sunc with. She said she's waiting for someone. That doesnt mean that she'd love to be entertained by you, you neckbeard. It means I'm too polite to tell you "Fuck off, you're bothering me"
It's this kind of shit that make men livid
Actually, I'm clued in enough to know what she said means she's not interested in my company. So no, it doesn't make me livid. And I'm sure I'm much more of a man than you are.
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