I walked in on my boyfriend of 4 years giving a blowjob to another guy.
I don't know what to feel. I don't know if this is real life. I'm sitting here posting from my laptop in my car in front of our apartment wondering what I just witnessed.
I've actually been in this situation. Kinda. I didn't catch him, but he admitted to having anal sex with a dude within the first two weeks of us "being official." So yeah, that's a dealbreaker.
Him being bi-curious or whatever his issue is, isn't immoral or wrong. He is what he is. What is immoral and wrong is that he cheated on you, whether with a male or female. And that's what counts. Leave him. You'll never trust him again, and honestly, it's pretty disgusting to learn your loved one is gay if all you've ever been led to believe is that they were straight. That's deception on a huge level.
Has he ever talked to you about wanting to suck a cock? How long have you been together? Are you open sexually or would he not feel comfortable talking to you about what he wants?
dump him though, cheating is cheating
I know it might seem really difficult atm but hear him out, if he shows remorse and is apologetic etc. just try to be as nice to him as possible. I can't say for sure without further information but chances are he wasn't just lying to you, he's probably been lying to himself for quite a while.
I mean, he does if he's really fucked up and suicidal over it or something. I was kind of imagining a worst case scenario here because of past experiences. If his angle is "haha im gay yolo" obviously what I said does not apply but I don't think that's nearly as likely.
I'm still here in the car, all of my friends are asleep so I have no one to talk to.
I didn't say a single word to him. All he said is "Anon it's not what it looks like" then I shut the door and ran out of my house. I didn't start crying until now because I couldn't believe what I just saw. It's just now hitting me.
My boyfriend absolutely despised homosexuals. He would call other guys fruitcakes and faggots and stuff whenever we went out. We have sex almost every day as well.
This guy was my first boyfriend and I have so many memories with him. Like holy shit I don't even know where to begin. Am I really going to have to break it off? We had plans to marry, have kids. The thought of getting rid of someone who meant so much to me and life is killing me. I'm getting light headed and really anxious now.
Gee, OP, can't you go and stay with your parents for the time being?
I'm really sorry about your situation but I ask you to see the humour in thos situation. It is kinda funny, in some twisted way.
>My boyfriend absolutely despised homosexuals. He would call other guys fruitcakes and faggots and stuff whenever we went out. We have sex almost every day as well.
In other words, he was in the closet. That's pretty stereotypical. I've seen guys do the same shit, until they have a few drinks and start making out with other guys. The alcohol doesn't make them do crazy shit, it just lets them stop caring about their image.
Honestly, aside from betrayal, cheating is such a shitty thing to do because he's not thinking about your safety. Don't have sex with him again and make sure you get yourself tested.
Femon here. I had a simular situation happen to me. As hard as it you should move forward if someone valued and loved you they would of broke up with you instead of cheat. I give you a hug right now if I could I know how you feel you are not alone.
No Anon I am married now. I am extremely thoughtful. I do not judge people either. I guess I just opened up to a level comfortable enough for them to show their true colours which is good because they will be happier now I just hope they do not cheat again on their future partners.
Thanks Anon. It took me a couple years to repair myself I did not date for three years but I ended up meeting my husband once I felt I was ready to give a try at a healthy relationship.
Yes it is. That is why we should post cute animal pictures or something Op likes to cheer her up.
He's cheating. The gender of his enabler does not change this fact.
How you respond to that is up to you. No one will hold it against you if you leave: in your shoes that's what most people would do, and even those who wouldn't leave understand why someone would. Or you could forgive him, but while forgiveness has its own rewards, they come at a price: it takes a lot longer and hurts a lot more.
Ultimately, the decision is yours. The only advice I have is that you shouldn't rush to decide. Give it 2-3 days for your head to stop spinning.
Everyone please remember;
BEFORE YOU GIVE ANY ADVICE REVERSE THE GENDERS OF THE PEOPLE IN THE SITUTATION.
Eg; he walks in on her giving head to a girl, how does he feel? Is this a deal breaker?
If your answer changes, you're a sexist and shouldn't be giving advice!
EVERYONE PLEASE REMEMBER!
I'm going to give my unsolicited opinion on how you should feel and then make blanket statements about what kind of person you are! Please look at me and give me attention cause I know how people should feel and act!