Alright boys, looking for some solid advice here.
So here is the story, be prepared it's gonna be long:
Been dating my grill for near 3 years is a 7/10 feelsalrightman.jpg
Going al-right up until the last month.
Lost my job due to redundancy feelsbadman.png
She starts being weird. - Obviously isn't happy with my lack of employment.
Grill is at university. We are both young ones, don't live together.
Anyway she has recently made a group of friends that she goes to party with or whatever. Totally cool with that and let her know this (I don't like clubs).
Grill stops speaking to me 100% usually she started conversations. Not seen her in person for 3 weeks now. In the past few days I have not attempted to make contact in hopes she will. Does not.
Below is a rough account of the last 3 days of our conversations. Starting at 3 days ago:
However, before I get into this I need to set the stage if you will with our conversation 5 days ago.
As she has been being off with me for near a month now I simply asked her over the phone if she was still into me. She said yeah, she loves me. Asks why i’m asking. Tell her i’ve been real down since losing my job. Seen the doc about it. She says something like this:’I mean i still love you, that won't change. If i'm being honest I've been thinking about what i want for the future and things yeah’. I say I don’t know what that means, but if you’re going to break up with me just do it. She says that isn’t what she means she just means she has been thinking about things – But that doesn’t mean she wants to leave me at all and Idon’t need to worry about anything like that. I ask if I can see her soon as we havn’t met for a few weeks. She says she doesn’t know when we can meet. – Feelsbadman. Conversation dies and we both go to sleep. – Needed to write that up as it comes up later.
Day 3 - Finally give in and text her at 11pm after a fullday of the usual 0 contact like: 'hello??' - Says she's been too busy all day inboxing and texting people from her uni course to arrange things she needs to do for class. Accept this, move on, speak for about 10 minuets and she says she needs to sleep for the next day.
Day 2 - 0 contact. Give in at 7:30pm this time and message her. Today she has been busy going to the movies to see deadpool with her female friend and attending a zombie chase thing. I asked why did she not bother speaking today and her reply was :'Can't speak when getting chased by zombies or watching movies, duh'. I ask what she is doing this weekend and she doesn't reply for an hour: 'Sorry I went for a bath'.
I ask again - 'I'll be busy sunday'.
I say something like:'Oh right, so can I see you this weekend or..?' Her response was 'Sure'.
I say - ' Well if you're too busy it's alright. We can do something some other time?'.
Response: 'Idon't know, I'm real tired i'm heading to sleep'.
Day 3 - No attempt at speaking is made again. Give in at 11pm – See screen caps from messanger. Removed time stamps n stuff. Blue = Me
Pink = Grill.
What adv can you give me friends? What would you guys do in this situation?
Thanks for reading and replying and for the advice (:
To further the story as I forgot to add today being day 4---
Grill has gone out drinking with her friends. Made no effort of speaking during either the day or night. Using the ignoring strat like you suggested, only problem is I find it hard desu.
The 3-5 year mark is when majority of relationships fail, usually over the most innocuous of reasons. You pushing her for answers is only going to push her away. But you ignoring her is only going to let her forget you and find a 'shiny new toy' - especially in college where men are all over the women constantly.
You have to see her. Be subtle about it. Don't freak out on her or blow up her phone because that again will only scare her off and end up in you getting ghosted. But just remember that for women - absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder. You need to let her see you, and chase you.
Not him, but my opinion is that she wants something else in life that you don't provide, or that she doesn't think you can provide. Also, it seems like she got mad at you for just wanting answers about why she is distant from you. I think she doesn't want to be with you anymore, but doesn't want to have guilt about breaking up with you without you having had done anything wrong, so she's trying to provoke you to get mad and make you seem like that bad guy.
This, so much this. Amen.
Actions. Not words. Actions. She's obviously going to dump you soon while "still loving you."
And your feelings are justified. This is the worst sort of person - a person who leads you on until they feel comfortable about what they want and then they do whatever the fuck they want without caring about you or your well-being. I've seen 99.9% of women do this over time. It always happens except with the rarest of women who have the balls to be honest about what's going on.
Your girl is not one of them. I know you don't want to hear this, but you shouldn't be this broken up and fucked up and treated like this over a 7/10. You don't have to dump her and be all dramatic, but you seriously need to starting getting in tune with your own life and start "loading your wagon" because you're about to be on the fucking Oregon Trail of single-life again.
>She starts being weird. - Obviously isn't happy with my lack of employment.
soundss liek a golddigger
>Grill stops speaking to me 100% usually she started conversations. Not seen her in person for 3 weeks now. In the past few days I have not attempted to make contact in hopes she will. Does not.
yeah sounds bad
> I ask if I can see her soon as we havn’t met for a few weeks. She says she doesn’t know when we can meet.
if she's having problems and doesn't want your support, she's not really emotionally connected. I don't think what you're having is much
I think she's just no longer into you for no moniez and too much of a child to say it. too much hoping to lead you on untill either you can fulfill her idea of what a man should be or untill she finds a new one.
I'd say ditch her, there's no point putting effort in someone who won't even support you in your time of need, much less abandon you!! love means being there for eachother, also in bad times.
hey, number one:
do you have a dyslexia issue, or are you just an idiot? because you formulate sentences like you're typing on a flip phone while tumbling onto the sidewalk after someone pushed you off the short bus. your conversations with your girl are twice as autistic than your posts here, so it's no wonder she wants to fuck someone with an above-highschool level I.Q.
yeah you're dumber than that neurotic bitch, but she's still pretty fucking dumb. she doesn't know what she wants, but she's just starting to grasp that she doesn't want your broke dumb ass. very dangerously, she's a dumb neurotic bitch who doesn't know how to break up with you. you should leave her, tell her you need space, and if she tries to make you feel bad about it, remind her that she hasn't talked to you in three fuckin days, and if she wanted to work it out, she's have made the effort by now.
after this blows over, don't do anything outwardly emotional. get a job, paint a flower, and be a better version of yourself than the person you were in that relationship. this way, she'll either want you back, and be more ready to submit to what you want and love you for who you are, or, you'll find someone better before she has the chance to notice how much cooler you've gotten.
either way, stop being a cuck forever, you fucking idiot cuck. and read a book.
> I ask if I can see her soon as we havn’t met for a few weeks. She says she doesn’t know when we can meet.
LTR. Having to wait weeks to see someone to be met with a "I don't know". Nope. Sign 1.
>Says she's been too busy all day inboxing and texting people from her uni course to arrange things she needs to do for class. Accept this, move on, speak for about 10 minuets and she says she needs to sleep for the next day.
Tries to break off conversation. Replies she's too busy. Are you sure you're in a relationship with this girl? This sounds more like a guy who's into a girl and trying to spark up conversation, with her not being keen on it.
>oday she has been busy going to the movies to see deadpool with her female friend and attending a zombie chase thing
She's doing stuff with other people. She's obviously not too busy to make time for other people. But apparently you, her 3 year boyfriend, she can't schedule a day to see. Furthermore, why isn't she going with you to see Deadpool? Or even asking you to come?
>I say something like:'Oh right, so can I see you this weekend or..?' Her response was 'Sure'.
Analysis: Grab your balls. You're too weak. She doesn't respect you. Is either shopping around for other males, has met someone/else/cheated on you or no longer wants to be with you.
SHE has all the power in your relationship. She dictates when you talk, when you see each other, how often you communicate. When a girl has this sort of power over a man, you're no longer a man. You are no longer desired by her.
I'm going to spell it out. Your relationship is going to end. Fuck her re-assuring words. This is because she doesn't have the ability to end it herself, or she wants to keep you on the backburner, or is scoping out another guy just now. If she wants to break up She's probably hoping by not messaging you, and being a complete cunt to you, that you start a fight over it so she can break up with you....
i am getting literally mad now because of your stupid ass bitch
dude i hate to say that but dump her.
there are so many nice Girls out there.
you are just wrecking yourself
fck im mad m8
also you Sound like a huge pussy.
why do even put up with this? why are you still talking to her like you did something wrong?
pls dude. reading your texts is making me cringe
The only thing you can do, is leave the relationship with some dignity. Tell her you're no longer interested in being with her, you don't think she's girlfriend material and you're looking elsewhere. Tell her not to contact you again, and get a friend to get your stuff. This is the only way you're getting out of this relationship with pride.
If you're NOT going to do these things, I fully expect a post in a few weeks/month where you find out she was cheating, or you end up being depressed over your breakup. This way, you will honestly feel better about being in control of how it ended and in essence, yourself. SHE no longer has that power over you. This is my advice, I strongly suggest you take it. Even if you don't break up, you pulling away like this will jilt her into not being so complacent with you, that is ONLY if this entire thing is innocent (and honestly, your chances of it being innocent are like <10%)