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ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical act/moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely. Preferences differ.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>What is the bump cap/thread limit?
310. Stop preempting it just so you can spam us with your SOA shit.

Old Thread: >>16894566
>>
This is for OP: how long were you sitting there, your post already prepared, waiting for the other thread to autosage, so you could make this thread?
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>>16897243
Use the catalog and stop spamming. Guess its time to call in the mods.
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>>16897243
Guy here
Would girls prefer a guy (friend) tells her something like she has sweat marks or her thong is sticking out without it being creepy. I find myself not doing anything bc I don't wanna make girls feel self conciouse.
>>
>>16897257
Mods don't do shit, I already reported the other thread when it was made when we had more than 20 posts to go in the old thread. Still, I prefer this thread to the other one.

>>16897261
Depends on how close you are.
>>
That old cliche advice about not respecting women as a gender is probably the best advice ever given.

After you realize that they're insipid, vapid, uninteresting, predictable colostomy bags for your semen. Productivity goes through the roof, you magically get laid more, you're happier, and your overall quality of life skyrockets. I just fail to see why people don't take this advice when they see it work time and time again.
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>>16897264
Like friends. Not in the "friend zoned" way but just normal broskinems
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>>16897265
Because I'm happy and can get sex without thinking that way
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>>16897254

Literally copy paste dude. Just tweaked like 3 lines.

How long were you waiting for the thread to hit late 200's so you could put up more anime graphic shit?

>>16897293

Not that femanon, but I know my gf always says she kind of hates it when people don't tell her about that kind messy looking shit, because then she just feels fucking crushed that she's been walking around like that all day.

You're probably better off giving subtle hints if you can, rather than directly bringing it up though.
>>
>>16897261
I'd like to be told but only if I can fix once it's pointed out (i.e. the thong sticking out). If I can't fix it (i.e. the sweat stains) just leave it alone.
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>>16897300
Then you're one of the lucky ones who automatically doesn't take them too seriously.
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>>16897314
>>16897307
Thanks yall
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>>16897254
Fuck off. I'm sure /a/ would love to discuss your shitty animoo.
>>
Girls, do you often hint indirectly?

A woman I don't know so well sent me information about an event she was interested in, and thought maybe I'd be interested.

In the conversation she mentioned wanting to "try to go", so I asked her. Her response was fairly enthusiastic, and at the end she thanked me.

I'm under the impression she wanted me to ask her, but if she set it up like that why not just commit and ask me?
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>>16897265
Because your advice is actually invalid. You are confusing correlation with causation.

Your approach also makes some women happier and gets them laid more. That is because it isnt actually about whatever specific belief you adopt.

It is about the fact that some people have adopted self-sabotaging habits/beliefs and those sadly tend to kick into overdrive when we care MOST. These people will always be at their best and most charismatic when they care least. One solution for such people is to adopt a belief that leads them to stop caring or thinking about whatever it is they fear. Men afraid of women decide women are inferior, men afraid of death have a religious conversion, etc.

But while this will assuage your crippling challenge with women or fear of death or whatever, the advice is bad because its halfway advice. You think your life is awesome because you resolved your biggest fear but in even trying to solve this specific fear you prove you havent defeated fear itself - thats why its halfway.

You will grow but you still wont reach your max potential with this mentality because you have not addressed your underlying issue which means you will still choke when faced with things you DO care about. You cant be as charismatic as don juan by aping his demeanor - you have to know what beliefs and values those qualities come FROM. Truly successful men dont act fearless with women because they think women are bullshit or inferior (different? absolutely.) They act fearless with women and with life in general because they know FEAR is bullshit, because they know the second you let anyone elses opinion limit you you have already lost.

Thats my 2 cents anyway. Thats what you strive for. This whole red pill thing is like someone who knows the words but just cant seem to hear the tune.
>>
How do I not get emotionally attached to a slut
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>>16897243
Girls

At what age does a guy's ambitions and drive to be successful (i.e. career goals) matter to you? I'm 24 and doing very well for myself, but most women my age seem to be dating men with really basic service jobs or no job at all. And they're not exactly hunky guys either, so it's pretty perplexing.

Example: My neighbor has no job, acts like a wigger, smokes meth, and throws beer bottles at cats. His girlfriend is super cute, super sweet to everyone, is pre-med and volunteers at a local soup kitchen. What the fuck?
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>>16897342
Every time she talks think about how many dicks she's sucked.
>>
I think this girl has lost interest in me, and really quickly to (less and less talking after only one date).

So girls, what are reasons that cause you to lose interest in a guy?

So I can try to avoid them in the future.
>>
>>16897344
To me, they always matter. That said, I'd rather date a guy who has a shitty job but is pretty good otherwise over a guy who has nothing going for him but a good job. Also at 24, I'd cut a guy some slack, many guys that age are still finishing up school and getting their shit together.
>>
So I'm friends with a number of women, and our friendships are purely platonic. Which is good, my original goal was to leave my comfort zone and actually meet people and so on. However I want to try to start meeting women for something more serious. To that end, I'm wondering if it's actually awkward or not to ask your friends if they know anyone that's also on the market. I can't tell if it's one of those false expectations you see propagated in the media or not.
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>>16897342
Don't associate with sluts in the first place.
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Guys, what do you think of inverted nipples? I just realized I had them. They do come out if you touch them a little but is it a turn off?
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>>16897409
I don't discriminate on such an insignificant level.
With that said, some men will favor one kind over the other. It isn't anything personal, just sexual preference.
So, rejoyce. There are men out there who would love a girlfriend with inverted nipples.
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>>16897409
Inverted nipples are a huge turn on.
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>>16897344
>My neighbor has no job, acts like a wigger, smokes meth, and throws beer bottles at cats. His girlfriend is super cute, super sweet to everyone, is pre-med and volunteers at a local soup kitchen. What the fuck?

But what's she like otherwise?

My oldest friend dropped out of college, bummed around on couches for like half a year, got a dead end job making minimum wage, became a drug dealer. His life has kind of taken a downturn to say the least (we were valedictorians in highschool, the smart nerdy kids who aced everything and came from middle class families, wanting for nothing).

Somewhere in the middle of that, he met his girlfriend who was also pre-med and one of the sweetest people ever. She's like kittens and bottled sunshine. I love her and pretty much think of her as a little sister, and even my girlfriend pretty much instantly fell in love with her.

But she's a massive fucking party animal. And if you actually know her, she's kind of a wreck sometimes. I can't count the number of times I've held her hair or thrown her in showers to clean up puke off her.

Appearances can be deceiving.

>>16897377
>To that end, I'm wondering if it's actually awkward or not to ask your friends if they know anyone that's also on the market. I can't tell if it's one of those false expectations you see propagated in the media or not

As someone who's got a few female friends, I've seen em do it quite a bit, and I know my girlfriend definitely has fun playing matchmaker.

>>16897409
>Guys, what do you think of inverted nipples?
Don't really care either way. It's amusing I guess? This is a Safe For Work board btw.
>>
>>16897423
My point is: at what age do women cease to be party animals? Where are the attractive, decent women at? Seems like the only ones that aren't party animals < 30 are 85lbs overweight with a penchant for anime.
>>
>>16897409
Weird at first. But if Im looking at them that means I can touch them right. Which also means I can play with them. As long as you arent a fag about it and dont let me play with them when I want to theres not an issue.
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>>16897339
Thats not your 2 cents, that's your 5 dollars. If you wrote a sensible amount maybe, but you just had to write so fucking much
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>>16897435

I've met a few. They're usually more recluse and just harder to find though. Try coffee shops, campus libraries, and anywhere hipsters propagate.

Also any girl in STEM is slightly more likely to be one such.
>>
>>16897412
>>16897422
>>16897423
okay, thank you. And sorry for posting the picture, it wasn't meant to be sexual just a representation
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>>16897435
>Seems like
To who? Pull your head out of your ass
>>
>>16897456
Are you one of the overweight non-party animals or are you dating one? Sorry, it's not my thing.
>>
>>16897339
Addendum: I dont actually mean to hate on this philosophy as much as it may have sounded, but it irks me because it seems to be heading straight into the right, sensible direction, and then it suddenly veers off into becoming a lot less useful.

A lot of men have the right general idea of what an "alpha" should look like. But then they get it so so wrong by becoming just a cheap knockoff of the real deal.

They end up making new rules for themselves. I cant say/do/believe that because its not alpha! What they dont realize is that the men they admire could make giving a girl a bouquet of red roses on the first date seem nonchalant and suave if he wanted to. You just dont see it that much because who wants to do that kind of crap if you dont think you have to and of course these men know they certainly dont have to but the point is if he wanted to he could and would never have to fear making himself look like a pussy.

So essentially my advice to men is this: All rules are limiting and static to a variable degree. Some just more or less so than others. The only truly dynamic force is consciousness itself. Alphas, winners, successful men (and women, but female success looks different than male success), whatever you want to call them, are what they are because they have unshackled their consciousness from fear and all resulting limitations. Emulate THAT and you will prosper in love and life.
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>>16897342
Leave directly after you cum. No cuddling. The cuddling is where the attachment is worst.
>>
>>16897469

lol... Dude... I wasn't getting the entitled Nice Guy™ vibes before this, but you sound like an ass...

No wonder they go for the methhead instead.

(No I'm not the femanon you responded to, I'm the other dude)
>>
>>16897409
Meh, who gives a shit. Titties are titties. Don't worry about it.
>>
Girls, do you browse any other boards on 4chan? If so what boards?
Have you ever revealed your gender to those boards and have people reply with "LONDON"?
>>
>>16897409
Hardly a turn off. I know the japs at least fetishize them hardcore too.
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>>16897491
Actually it was a perfectly reasonable reply to someone who made a douchey valueless remark.
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>>16897454

Np. But go ahead and delete the image so the entire post doesn't get reported and deleted.

Just click the check box next to your post, scroll to the bottom. Check "File Only" then hit delete.
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>>16897357
>good job
>nothing going for him

Thats the only thing a man can have going for him. His job is what defines his worth as a human being
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>>16897510
Not necessarily. But I feel like given the choice between two average looking dudes, you'd pick the one with prospects.
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>>16897501
I browse /b/ but just to lurk cringe threads and YLYL and other stuff. I just mentally filter through all the bad stuff.

I browse and post on /ck/ often because I like to cook and share food related stuff.

And I go on /x/ once in a blue moon to entertain/scare myself.
>>
>>16897243
I more recently found out that not every woman has a pink vagina... Mine is pink, so I just assumed everyone else's was.

Men/Women, can I take some kind of poll on the color of vaginas? Like, what is the average color of a poon? Does race matter? I'm mixed though, so I never thought it did.
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>>16897516
>not necessarily
well of course nothings 100% If i say that people aren't born with a penis on their forehead and you find someone who was born with a penis on his forehead that doesn't negate my point it means you found one weird guy.

Not all of us can be the buddah walking around spreading peace and giving words of wisdom to a heroic level. The rest of us have to contribute to society and our species through professions. Your worth is defined by what you can bring to our species, and what you can bring to our species is TYPICALLY, done through your career
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>>16897537
pink is best, all others you turn off the lights when eating the pussy. You're a lucky gal femanon.
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>>16897537
Skin coloured more or less. East Asian.
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>>16897537
I'm white. Mines pink, a little on the reddish side
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>>16897409

I would basically suck them till they pop out. It's like a fun game. Kinda wish my missus had them, now :P
>>
>>16897555
Trips for inverted nips
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>>16897501
Off the top of my head: /a/, /co/, /cgl/, /ck/, /x/, /pol/, /wsg/, /an/, some /out/, some /jp/, used to do /int/ before it become so heavily general-ized.

No I have not .
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How do you know if a girl is into you or is just being polite? How do I move from chatting in class to showing actual interest?
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>>16897501
/ck/, /vp/ and /cgl/ sometimes. I don't reveal my gender unless it's necessary or I'm invited to, because otherwise it's just attentionwhoring.
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>>16897473
>>16897339

This attitude doesn't stem from a fear of women. It stems from a fear of what women do to me. When ever i'm on a good road and I'm working hard a woman always comes by. And what does that woman do to me? I don't know, something, I get all these chemicals in my brain and then hard work and self improvement is no longer the number one thing on my mind, because my mind gets tricked into thinking well you've already reached the ultimate goal, a mate. But we aren't cavemen anymore thats no longer the ultimate goal, however our bodies and hormones havent adapted with the new age.
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>>16897584
I guess if everyone read the sticky there wouldn't even be a thread.
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>>16897602
I don't know about you but women motivate me to be more successful. Pretty much everything I do to improve myself, from working out, to making more money, is about getting laid.
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>>16897501
/v/, /vg/, /lit/, /fit/, /out/, /ck/, /co/, /tv/, and /mu/.

I don't mention my gender unless it's relevant.
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>>16897611
So I should just ask her out?
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>>16897614
Yes exactly my point, so when i'm with one in a relationship my stupid brain stops being so motivated because I already have a woman.
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>>16897616
yes. You don't have to make it a date, just "hey want to get lunch after class" or some shit.
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How do I filter out the "lol so cutesy and goofy le random dumb voice tee hee quirky" type? I just want to hangout with a girl on an intelligible level. I want to be able take you seriously. I want to have good conversations, not just fling bad jokes at each other.
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>>16897584
I find the shotgun approach works great. If you are even remotely hitting it off with a girl, immediately ask her out. If she says no, recoils in fright, claims to have a bf, goes "awww" or any other shitty thing, you just move on and avoid her after that. Keep doing this and eventually it works.
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>>16897616
Assuming by the way you're talking about her, you've already had a few conversations and she knows who you are. Ask her out before its too late, women are weird flighty creatures and if you know them for too long without making a move you're out.

Don't ask me why, they're just weird.
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>>16897627
that's what guys are for, idiot.
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>>16897627
Once you meet someone, determine if they are the type you want it not.

How the hell else would you know?
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>>16897637
That's kind of my point. I don't like the idea of having a girlfriend just for the sake of having one. I want a girlfriend that I enjoy being around and talking to. I want her to a have a good sense of humour, not just le random goofy lol shit.

>>16897641
Whenever my friends bring me out somewhere I try to talk to girls and they're literally all like this. It gets frustrating, sometimes. I just want to talk to a girl that doesn't act retarded.
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>>16897627
maybe you attract the retarded ones, because you're also incapable of having an intelligent conversation. You sound very pretentious, that being said: The dumbest people are usually blissfully unaware.
>>
>>16897652
Well then maybe you're gay or something. As a man, when I want an intelligent conversation I talk to my mentors, my friends etc. When I want to have a person who I care and provide for I go to my girlfriend.

Gender roles smart guy,
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>>16897652
Maybe stop using the word "literally"". I bet you talk with an upwards inflection as well.
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>>16897658
I didn't mention intelligence at any point, I said intelligible. The meaning is different. Wanting normal conversations doesn't make me pretentious. Read the post correctly before you start insulting someone, dumb fuck.

>>16897666
>intelligent
Again, I said intelligible.
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>>16897666
Why would I want to care or provide for someone I can't talk to on the same level and or is not an interesting person to be around? Why would I even want to be in a relationship if there's no personal connection?
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>>16897682
So when you talk to these girls you can't understand what they're saying? You're probably just pants on head retarded then.
>>
So these last few weeks have been rough for my gf. Her laptop got stolen, this weekend we were both in a car crash im her new car after a day of getting her license so we have to stay rested for a few days. We both have been taking meds for back pain. Tonight she called me to say her moms cancer is back.
We'll be doing three months together on sunday, I was kinda hoping to just chill with her and watch movies since that was our plan last sunday before the crash, but now even that seems like a bad idea. Any ideas? I cant really drive right now due to medical orders. I'm supposed tp be there for her during harsh times, but Im really bad at this. Do you guys think I should try soing something special on sunday to cheer her up? Or just keep it simple and be with her?
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>>16897728
Get her a black guy. Chicks dig those.
>>
> 5+ year relationship
> me, bf, bf's best friend have been talking about how cool it would be to travel somewhere cool together
> make plans to do so this summer
> suddenly bump it up to spring break
> my spring break doesn't match up with theirs
> asked bf if there was a reason the summer wouldn't have worked
> "idk i didn't ask best friend"

What happened? Did they just change their minds about wanting me to come with them?
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>>16897740
Go back to /tv/
>>
Gf is coming to meet me now.
She doesn't want to see me anymore because "she is always late to our dates and doing through a really rough time"

I can talk her down from being late to dates, but how do I convince her to let me help her with whatever her rough times are (if she isn't just lying to get with another guy)
I was thinking of explaining that I went through rough times with drugs in the past and turned my life around and want to help her. But I don't know if it's OK to tell her that.

Please respond fast she is coming to meet me right now
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>>16897727
Good one! No fuck off pointless sack of shit. You will never amount to anything if you think being an aimless cunt on 4chan will get you anywhere. I imagine you'll be stuck in a below average job rotting with a wife that cheats. Best choice for people like you is to join the military. Get trained how to be used by the professionals, or end up getting blown up, which is inevitable judging how your life is going currently.
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>>16897751
He's leaving on a trip with just him and his buddy, you've been together for 5 years and he hasn't smelled another pussy since. He's thirsty for different poon anon

Give him this, if you love him you will.
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>>16897769
LOL dude is this your first relationship? Those words mean she's moved on from you.
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>>16897793
Not that anon, but I guess you let girls you love ride other dick?
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>>16897793
Oh na, they're going to colorado so they can smoke like crazy. He's not the type of dude to cheat
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>>16897243
Do girls dislike anal for the same reasons men love it?
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>>16897243
My girlfriend suddenly thinks she's asexual and whats to get a vibrator what to I do
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>>16897813
I dislike it because it hurts, makes my turd cutter bleed, makes me unable to hold farts in afterwards. And I've never even had a whole dick in there, that just happened from the tip.

But even more than the pain, I get skittish anytime anything goes near my pooper. That's where shit comes from, and it will have shit residue in there, no matter how much cleaning I try to do. Plus, as someone who experienced years of random, violent diarrhea, I get a little nervous when someone starts licking at the site where the literal shitstorm would begin
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>>16897808
>love
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>>16897769
She doesn't want to be with you anymore. You can try to convince her otherwise, but if a person actually doesn't want to be with another person they won't. Nothing will convince them otherwise.
>>
Do people really care about how someones room is organized, assuming it isnt messy?
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>>16897243
How do people deal with a relationship suddenly going long distance? Every month I get bullshit like "I think Im bi can I kiss other girls" to "I think im asexual" I love the girl but jesus christ uni changes people
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>>16897958
It sounds more like your girl would be retarded regardless of distance.
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>>16897973
I have no idea what to do. She tells me she loves me and I love her. She's sincere and sweet when were together but this long distance shit is driving me crazy
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>>16898013
Delete her tumblr for starters. Flip flopping between bi to asexual to whatever else every few weeks is far from normal or healthy. Even if she's a nice person it sounds like she's trying to make up an identity through sexuality.
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So I hung out with a friend from my old job, we talk but not as much. Her and I went driving around town, ate some whataburger and talked about our life stories. Got to know each other's triumphs and falls, all that stuff. We both just got out of some shitty relationships. Her boyfriend broke up with her a few weeks ago, a girl I was talking with left my birthday early with another guy. So we're both a bit off. Anyways, we ended up going to the lake outside of town to watch the lightening and we start making out. I've been on a dry spell and this was my first time in a long time doing alot. We interacted, she set some boundaries during and I respected them. I kind of want to do something physical again, but I don't want to be a fuckboy about it. We both agreed we're not ready for relationships or anything near that and that we're still friends. After we talked about it we drove around for another 20 minutes laughing and joking then I took her home. She hugged me goodbye and went inside. Should I just ask her to hang out again and see if anything happens? I haven't talked to her really, it's only been a day so I guess I'm overthinking. I'm a little drunk so I might be overthinking. Anyways, how can I have some fun and connection without being in a relationship with her and without being a complete douche bag?
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Females: So I was here last night. I asked the girl in my English class out on Monday. Said she was busy because she does volunteer work at 2 different places before I asked her out. Tells me the same thing when I ask her out. Fast forward to yesterday/today depending on times zones. Basically Wednesday, and her snapchat has her hanging at the beach with friends. Did I just get played?
>>
If she gives you her number as "anonette work", that's bad yeah?
>>
>says she will call me back right away
>30 minutes later no call
what do I do
>>
why do you girls get tongue and nipple piercings? i've asked a few friends and never got a clear answer; they just said they were being stupid and rebellious
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>>16898071
She lied to you to spare your feelings. Get over her, she's not interested.

>>16898106
...wait.
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>>16898225
She lied to me even before I asked her out? How would she have know I was going to ask her out?
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>>16898242
Maybe. She probably does do volunteer work and probably is busy.
But if she used the same excuse when you asked her out and then discovered she wasn't where she said she would be, then that excuse in particular was a lie to spare your feelings.

I mean, does it matter? She's not interested.
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>>16898206
Because they feel as if their boobs/whatever aren't eyecatching enough witheout embelishement. It's an insecure act. Tongue is mainly for oral. Or for the suggestive hint that it might be for oral. Or they just want to piss off their parents cause muh liberty. Wither way it's unnecessary and you might regret it (my sister got her nipples pierced as a teen. She had major probs with breastfeeding later. A friend of mine tore her belly button "piercing hole" during pregnancy. A lot of people got their eyebrow piercings ripped out and now have that cringey scar. My sister also had her septum pierced and it looked like a pig. I don't know what she was trying to achieve with that...)
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>>16898077
Not very. Maybe she thinks you know other girls with the same name and wants to make sure you know which anonette she is.
>>
>>16898259
I mean, it's possible she had already made plans? Because it was 2 days after I asked her out and that's short notice? I dunno. I mean, she seems like a girl who would be honest, and even on her tumblr, which I follow says that she's blunt and honest and is a feminist, so maybe she does want to? I mean, she seemed interested.
>>
>>16897958
She sounds insufferable. Dump the idiot
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>>16898268
...so ask her again?

What do you want here? You asked if you were lied to. I think you were, but for an understandable reason (she doesn't want to hurt you but isn't romantically interested in you).

If she were interested she would have suggested a time when she was free, or mentioned asking her again later or something.

But by all means, ask her again if you'd like.
>>
>>16898282
But she knows. When we were leaving class and I asked her she said we would talk and she would def tell me a time when she was free so we could go. Actually, that last line was probably important. My bad, anon. So, she told me she would tell me when, so maybe that beach was when she told a friend she was free? I dunno.
>>
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Yesterday I went to watch Zootopia with a girl that I have a crush on.
Before the movie we hung out at the nearby shopping center, where she showed me a bunch of stores she likes to visit.
We enjoyed the movie very much, and after we got back to the student apartment complex we both live in, we spent the evening by watching yet another movie from the tv, and playing tabletop games.
She even invited me to her room to play those games (which was the first time I have been ever invited to a girl's room).
While we were sitting on her bed and chatting, I sorta wanted to hug her and kiss her, but I was too afraid to make a move. I still don't know if she likes me or not.
>>
Question for guys,

We're in college. A guy asked to hang out with me and suggested going off campus. I said yes without asking any questions because I like him. The fact we're going somewhere else, not just hanging out in his dorm or somewhere on campus, does that imply a date? I know I should have asked at the time but I didn't think to, and I don't want to text him back right now to ask because I don't want him to think I'm having second thoughts. I'm actually hoping it means date, but now I'm not sure. Can anyone decode this for me?

tl;dr does going off campus imply a date
>>
>>16898293
Just because you didn't make a move on her doesn't mean she hates your guts 24 hours later. don't be dumb. Stop wasting time and make a move. Don't feel her tits up or be a perv, but ask her to do something with you again and this time, go in for the kiss. It's that easy.
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>>16898288
Jesus, of course it is important. So just ask her when would be good.

Dude, did you even ask her specifically out on a date, or just a generic "let's get coffee" or whatever?
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>>16898294
It could, but it depends on the context of him asking how he asked, how close the two of you are, if he's shown interest before, etc.
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>>16898297
This is all very new to me, as I have never had this sort of feelings before, nor been in this sort of situation. I don't even know what I am doing.
I don't know if she likes me merely as a friend, or if she likes me more than just that.
>>
>date coworker
>she ends it
>have to see her on Saturday
How can I make this less awkward
>>
>>16898315
I don't go to movies and invite guys over to my house to sit on my bed because "lol just friends." Of course she likes you, you putz. Stop dragging your feet on this and ask her right now to go do something tomorrow or this weekend, and TOUCH her. The longer you don't do that, the more she will assume YOU don't like her, and she'll move on.
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>>16898308
>context
He brought it up in a conversation about helping me study for a mutual class. It was more than a bit unexpected.
>how close the two of you are
I wouldn't say very close, but we are always happy to see each other and joke around a lot. He seems to pay a lot of attention to me in particular whenever we're in a group setting.
>if he's shown interest before
This doesn't mean much, but my friend thinks he has a thing for me even if I can't see it.
>>
>>16898305
I asked her out to dinner. She said yes, but said she's not sure when she was free. So, it's all on when she knows, but maybe I can throw a few days at her.
>>
>>16898266
Wouldn't she have just given her last name though?
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>>16898325
I don't know how females operate, so I try to make no assumptions on their behavior.
This is the very first time I have had this sort of situation, and I am thoroughly puzzled by it. How do I know if it is appropriate to touch her or not?
>>
>>16898266
I think it's pretty weird she didn't give you her last name and then put "work" in the memo tag or something, but I just ignore this and text her to get a conversation going, and use the clues from the conversation instead. The name thing sounds too ambiguous to work with.
>>
>>16898266
>>16898371
Oh, we were at work
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>>16898329
I'd bet on yes, it sounds like he goes out of his way to pay attention to you and make time for you. If he considers it a date he'll probably at least say something at some point that indirectly implies that you're attractive or that he likes you, watch for that because he's probing to see if you'll respond to it, if you do then he'll take another step forward but if not he'll probably back off for a while. If he doesn't do anything this time then give it some time, if he never does then I dunno maybe he just likes you as a friend but honestly that's uncommon.
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>>16898329
It's probably a date, but you'd have to ask him, or see if he makes a move while you're out to be sure. If you are asking him though I'd be very careful in the way you do it for reasons you already stated.
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>>16898403
No I meant that usually you would put your last name if you wanted the person to notice you. For example, a guy in one of my uni classes gave me his number for studying together later, but I don't really give a shit about him personally so I saved his name as "Anon - math class" rather than "Anon Lastname".
>>
Girls, I'm in my early 30s and have some wiggle room with the state of my virginity. Is it better if the guy you're dating admits to being a virgin or to have been molested in his youth?
>>
>>16897827
Learn how to give her an orgasm, because clearly you're not.
>>
I have been in a relationship for 8 years, since my boyfriend and I were 16. I recently got off birth control to get my libido back, but now my bf doesn't want to have sex anymore. All i ever do is hear of his constant hypochondria because he suffers from GERD, which i deal with too. But even when he doesn't feel bad he just tells me he is too tired. Does pussy just get redundant?
>>
>>16898437
I think you're a faggot.
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>>16898444
Why? I don't know his name, and I'm not interested in dating him, so I didn't bother to learn his last name. If I was interested in someone, I'd let them know my last name. It seems kind of weird to be private about your last name if you actually want to go out with a person.
Unless you meant I'm an actual faggot, in which case no, I have a vagina.
>>
>>16898443
Only redundant as you let it, 8 years is a long time kudos.

Here's the deal, sex is mostly enjoyable when their is something that is new, exciting, and peaks interest. What kinky/exciting things do you or have you done?

And lets be real, why does he really not want to have sex? tired is not an excuse, I've been in a relationship for awhile and no nigga turns down his woman's body unless something is wrong.
>>
>>16898431
>>16898434
Thanks for the responses! I appreciate it.
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>>16898443
8 years is a long time, he might be getting bored, try doing something new for him. Also, have you changed a lot physically? Have you gained weight? Do you take less care of yourself?
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>>16898448
Lol. Wanna hear the truth? I'm bored so picked a random poster to call a faggot.
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>>16898443
If I'm reading this right, you got off BC and he suddenly has no interest in sex? That's a little weird, could it be that he's afraid of pregnancy?

>>16898439
The former, then the latter when you're ready to open up about it

>>16898318
It's as awkward as you make it. If you both act normal, it'll be fine

>>16898293
Girls don't think 'he didn't kiss me, I don't like him anymore', you know. Ask her out again

>>16898206
Because they want to, I guess. I want to get my nose pierced (nothing flashy, just a small stud) because I like how they look

>>16898106
She's probably busy

>>16898077
Nothing wrong with that

>>16898071
If you had a busy life, would you rather spend any free time with your friends or some random person from class? Also it's only been two days
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>>16898503
>you got off BC and he suddenly has no interest in sex?

What's weird about this?
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>>16898506
SHE got off BC and HE suddenly has no interest in sex? How is that normal?
>>
>>16898503
>I want to get my nose pierced
So you're into the whole white trash look? I mean, to each their own, just asking.
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>>16898511
Well I'm not white so that's a thing.
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>>16898510
Because I wouldn't want to be forced into parenthood? I still fail to understand what's weird about this logic
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>>16898503
>Girls don't think 'he didn't kiss me, I don't like him anymore', you know. Ask her out again
I don't think that they do.
I am more concerned about how she would react if I tried to kiss her, as I don't know if she actually likes me that way.
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>>16898515
So you're just trashy. Lol.
>>
>>16898516
That's exactly what I'm saying could be the problem. Did you read past "That's a little weird"?
>>
>>16898437
I meant she's a coworker
>>
Why the FUCK is my gf so self centred?
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>>16898523
So ask her on a date specifically. Then you'll know.
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>>16898437
So she doesnt give a shit about him?
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>>16898523
So ask her out on a proper date.
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>>16898525
Yes, did you fail to understand that it isn't weird at all? Holy fuck, some people are dense.
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>>16898537
Like ask her out for a coffee or something?
We have been to movies together twice now.
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>>16898544
No, ask to date her. Romantically.
>>
Question for our females. When I'm asking one of you out should I be myself or be confident?
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>>16898554
Both.
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>>16898554
Both
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>>16898554
Both
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>>16898556
>>16898557
That's... That's not possible.
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>>16898556
>>16898557
>>16898568

Morons, did you stop for a second to think that his actual self might not be confident?
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>>16898570
Then you're going to have to wait until it is.

>>16898571
Of course we did. It's not our fault he can't ask us out in a way that we want to be asked out.
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>>16898551
I don't know how.
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>>16897345
/thread
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>>16898573
What does that have to do with "be yourself" and "be confident"? You're not making any sense. You cannot possibly know what "being yourself" means for anyone. Don't be a moron.
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>>16898571
I was the third one and honestly don't care if he's confident or not. I just wanted to meme.

But seriously, it's better to be yourself than to put on a fake persona to ask a girl out. I would think he's trying to play me if I noticed a sudden personality change like that.
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>>16898581
Now, this actually makes sense.
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>>16898580
It's a combination of what >>16898581 says and the fact that I don't really want to date someone who's insecure and lacks confidence. I want someone who, when they're being themselves, is confident.
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>>16898570
>>16898571
That is obvious and irrelevant. If you want to ask someone out you have to have the confidence to do it.
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>>16898570
It means don't pretend to be someone who you aren't, but try to show off the best side of you too.

>>16898571
If he hates himself he should fix that before he tries to go dating
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>>16898596
>not being confident means you hate yourself

You heard it first on /adv/
>>
>>16898598
It certainly means you're not proud of yourself, which indicates you don't like who you are.

Try liking yourself first.
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>>16898595
You can do anything regardless of confidence. It's about whether or not to portray a confidence you don't naturally possess or ask a girl out while giving an honest portrayal of yourself.
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>>16898601
You literally have no idea of what you're talking about.
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>>16898610
You should try being confident. I believe in you anon
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>>16898606
I disagree with your premise, which is why I said what I did.
If your explanation is the question you want to ask, if you want a real relationship don't fake anything.
>>
I fell for a guy with Aspberger's. Not as diagnosed by an internet doctor, but an actual, legitimate doctor. I already read some suggestions from HFA forums online but am wondering if /adv/ has any other advice for me? I'm not really sure what to expect here or how to best handle being with someone with his particular set of oddities (for lack of a better word).

Some background: he's high functioning, insanely smart, possibly the funniest person I've ever met, obsessed with movies and pop culture references, and a computer programmer. We started bonding over the fact that I was the only person who got his nerdy references, and luckily for me that actually separated me from other people and made him notice me. He's pretty one-track minded and often says things that can seem rude or insensitive to others, because so many things come easily to him and he doesn't understand that other people don't those same things with quite as much ease. He also says things briskly, like hellos an goodbyes, which I've learned to not look into too much because I can't expect him to sound particularly emotional when saying these things he sees as just formalities.

I'm a someone who is always very in touch with the emotions of other people, having had to be a caretaker for multiple family members, so the fact he's sometimes insensitive is a challenge I've already identified, but if /adv/ could think of any other potential issues I should be mindful of or prepare for, I'd really appreciate it.
>>
Girls, what was losing your virginity like? Did it hurt? Was it good sex?

Sorry to creep, but I'm fascinated by this topic because I constantly hear "It's not like what you hear!" but no one ever tells you what it is like
>>
>>16898621
I used to date a girl with aspergers. Our relationship became very strained when I had a few deaths and family emergencies coincide. Very emotional for me, she didn't really understand and felt neglected.
>>
>>16898621
>I already read some suggestions from HFA forums online but am wondering if /adv/ has any other advice for me?

A lot of people interpret the issues with empathy as something akin to sociopathy, but it's hardly anything like that. Most likely they care, but they just fail to understand why people are feeling the way they do. That's presumably why he says things that come off so blunt or rude.

I found one way to help with this is to break things down into their component parts, so it's easier to follow each step in the process and understand why people are being emotional even if I wouldnt reach that conclusion myself.
>>
>>16898630
Moderately painful, but I got over it. I don't know, it was just how sex normally feels, but with some pain. Was a little slower because of it, I guess.
>>
How do you ask a girl for a date?
>>
>Want to enjoy nightlife and get some vagina action
>afraid I'll get robbed and raped and beaten up and spit roasted by a bunch of jamals or bears

wat do?
>>
Women, what the fuck?

No, seriously, what in the actual, mother fucking fuck?
>>
>>16898661
Seek counseling, that ain't normal.
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>>16898661
Pull a Mulan.
>>
My girlfriend is disrespectful towards me sometimes. She did it tonight and I called her out on it when we were parting ways for the night and she just walked away. What should I do? I see her everyday, we go to the same University.
>>
>>16898667
Yes, deal with it.
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>>16898673
Deal with it?

Oh no you fucking didn't, you gotta fix that shit woman!
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>>16898671
What did she do and how did you go about calling her out?
>>
>>16898633
>>16898637
Thanks for the input!
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>>16898680
She was working on a project with some people in a different room than I was working in. She did this eye roll thing towards the door to tell me to go away. I said "alright whatever I'll leave you alone". She texted me like half an hour later talking me to lose the attitude. I went up a little while later and we were fine. I had to close up the building (student worker) so when we were walking out we kissed and said goodnight. Then I told her "please don't the eye roll thing to tell me to leave anymore, it's demeaning". She turned around and got in her car and drove away.
>>
>>16898690
That sounds like a reasonable request.

I'd suggest the next time she does it maybe explain why you find it demeaning. But your story makes it sound like she won't give a fuck
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>>16898702
I just don't want to let it slide and let her walk all over me and lose respect for me. Should I bring it up tomorrow?
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>>16898707
I mean, as long as you are prepared for a possible fight.

But I think it's absolutely worth talking about. Have you ever discussed this kinda stuff?
>>
>>16898713
Not really. We've only been together for about 6 or 7 weeks. I don't want to come off like I'm making accusations but I feel like I should address it. It's my first relationship. I'm 21, she's 19.
>>
This goes out to everyone really

Is being "friendzoned" reason enough to end a friendship.

For some context I have been friends with this girl for quite some time now, sadly enough after some time I fell for her. She has everything I'd want out of a partner, but even though I am confident in that she likes me, a lot (and has even hinted at a future in the past, though if there was a train it has passed by now) but I don't think I am what she would want.

Now this is tearing me apart and I just can't get over it even though I've tried. I know that if she'd find a partner I'd die of jealousy. I know this is my fault entierly, I should have done more to try to stop it, and I feel like an asshole for ending something that there's nothing actually wrong with. Any help?
>>
>>16898719
Some other info is that I have never told her anything about it
>>
>>16898720
If you never told her you have feelings you haven't been friendzoned. Ask her out.
>>
Could you date a cam girl or boy? Would you look down on your partner if they gave money to one?
>>
>>16898776
No. Yes.
>>
>>16897501
/b/, /pol/, and /hr/
>>
>>16897501
/ck/, /trv/, /sci/, /int/, sometimes I lurk /fit/ , /b/ or /soc/.
Never said I was a girl if it wasn't necessary.
>>
>>16898719
Yes, if you want more than a friendship then you either learn to not want more or you end the friendship.

Don't stick around just in hopes of maybe making it one day.
>>
>>16898554
I'm a dude, but confidence isn't really a defining feature in a person. Cautious? Shy? Yeah, but confident? Depends on what you're doing,really. "Be yourself" doesn't mean be the usual sperglord you always are, it means be the you that you want to be.
>>
>>16898644
"hey anonette, wanna [insert activity here] sometime? " or some variation thereof.
>>
Girls:

Under what circumstances would you normally allow a male friend to sleep in your bed?

>have crashed in her bed twice
>both times was because I couldn't drive home but I was happy for couch
>we find it funny how our friends have thought something should happen/is happening between us
>not going to lie - I have some feelings for her but don't want to burn this relationship

I viewed this as kind of the "ultimate level of trust" between friends and didn't consider making a move, as she is too important to me.

Did I make the right call, or sperg out completely?
>>
>>16898857
Well, by that standard, I have already been on two dates with this girl I got a crush on.
>>
>>16898901
Well then try adding "on a date" somewhere in there. Don't complicate it.
>>
>>16898907
I am just so damn scared about all of this, as I have never had to deal with this sort of situation or feelings before.
>>
>>16898917
That's natural, do it anyway.
>>
Girls, what's the deciding factor that makes you commit to a relationship? I'm gonna grab a drink soon with a girl I really wanna be with. How possible would it be to turn it midway into a real date and something more at the end (relationship)? Let's say we have a really great time together. Is it possible she would commit after one hangout or would she need some time to think about it? We're ex high school classmates and I texted her after two years of no contact so I didn't really want to call it a date when I asked her out. She definitely liked me during high school though. I can provide more backstory if needed.
>>
>>16898982
You are rushing a lot.
Take things slow. See if you have fun together. Next time you go out, call it a date. Then if you keep seeing each other, and things go well, you can eventually commit.
You can't start a relationship like this.
>>
>>16898880
I let my very close male friends to sleep in my bed if there is the need to, I have no problems with it. But we are, like, opposite sides of the bed and all. If I like someone, I end up cuddling next to him or whatever.
>>
What's the point of her asking if I have a hot date?
>>
>>16899005
I don't know if there was a "need to" in my case, since the couch was just as easy (if not easier, since she cleaned her room up a bit), plus her housemates had this expectation we were gonna crash in the same bed, rather than me couch surfing, fwiw

However, there was no cuddling to be had. I kept on my side and faced the other way......I felt it respected boundaries but maybe it sent a cold message lol. Who knows?
>>
>>16899012
???
Is she your date?
>>
>>16899041
Nah, she was asking where I've been and such
>>
Finland guy here, am I more likely to be killed by a bear than get beat up by a jealous person or Chads?
>>
Whens a good time to text her back after getting her number?
>>
Why are women so naive?
Why do I have to do all the stupid feel good fun shit and connection type stuff to make them "feel" something?
How can you not see what guys are doing and that it really doesn't mean shit?

How come if I am blunt and honest the women run?
Are so many of you so lost in the clouds you believe in some fairy tale prince charming romance?


I can't just be a regular guy hanging out with a girl and get her to like me.

I have to be this mysterious somewhat aloof badboy/gentlemen who when he finds the time always seems to have a great time hanging out with YOU because we just have some "hard to really explain chemistry"

All that bullshit falls away after 2 months of dating so you know it was bullshit, do you just like to live in a world of fantasy?

Everyone above 21 knows all the games and knows they are bullshit nonsense so why the fuck are they still needed??
>>
Every night at about 11pm my gf messages me goodnight. However recently I noticed she's still active on facebook for like an hour to an hour and a half after. Is this something to be concerned about? She does browse facebook a lot so maybe its how she unwinds before going to sleep. IDK
>>
>>16899143
I usually text everyone goodnight and then just browse 4chan or read the news to fall asleep, if I can't read a book.
If I have to do something "active" like talking to someone I would never fall asleep, but just scrolling down and reading makes me sleepy.
>>
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>>16897243
recently I started "seeing an old ex" about three weeks in, after he's asked if I could ever see us as something more, I said maybe, and that I was developing feelings for him...Now the texts have dropped off from sporadically all day, to once or twice a day, same with physically seeing each other.
I feel like he only wants what he can't have..So I said in a txt last night "I don't mind 'taking it slow' I'm not in this to wait around for you.."

It's still very early in this, should I just walk? When I start to feel like I am chasing the guy I dip.
>>
What is the worst thing that could happen in a date?

Asking both males and females.
>>
>>16899168
Date rape or murder.
>>
>>16899133
No girls willing to take this question on?
>>
Girls, did it hurt the first time you had sex?

Guys, did you cum prematurely the first time you had sex?
>>
>>16899133
I like blunt people. All the guys I dated have been very blunt with me from the beginning, always told me what they wanted from me, never played games or anything, and I hate when guys try all that bullshit with me. If someone acts like an aloof bad boy with me, I get bored of his games after a week.

But, this being told, if I want a relationship with someone I want that connection and that chemistry. A guy can be a 10/10 on paper but if we don't click, I don't want to date him.
No need of prince charming bad boy bullshit, again; I want a regular guy, but having chemistry with someone is pretty much the only thing that saves the relationship from becoming boring after a few months.
>>
>>16899182
No I lasted well over an hour. Was bizarre, girl was attractive and I didn't even masturbate earlier in the day or anything.
>>
>>16899182
Girl here.
Yes, it hurt. I am fairly tight and it STILL hurts when I have sex for the first time after a while. Back then, I was really nervous so it hurt even more. I felt a pretty strong pain, for the first few times. Probably, also because my boyfriend was virgin too and he didn't know what he was doing. He lasted for like an hour and then he gave up and cried because he was so nervous. It was sweet. Took him a while (months) to understand how to fuck me and coming for sex, but now he's amazing at it so it was worth it.
>>
>>16899196
Can you retrospectively look at your past relationships and see the difference between the pseudo chemistry that was forced by the guy and the real chemistry that came months after?

you might be the exception, but I am curious if girls are really oblivious to the things men do to make girls feel that chemistry initially.

Guys learn this very early because there is no chance of getting laid without it, let alone a relationship.
>>
>>16899182
>Guys, did you cum prematurely the first time you had sex?
no i went in dry, fcked up some vein, blood everywhere

that happens when you are a completely drunk virgin fcking a completely drunk Girl who is tight as fck and not wet at all because drunk

learned alot from it. second time i was doing pretty well. we both enjoyed it and i didnt cum premturely... if you do fapping more helps best i figured. you Need to find out how much tho. since if you overdo it you wont even get it hard or are exhausted before you can cum
>>
A friend of mine was mentioning that her father was asking if we were dating, and I said that I couldn't see the two of us as a couple. My friend assumes this is because we have opposite personalities (she said as much a few weeks later) but it's really because she's painful to be around 30% of the time. I'm fine with putting up with that since she's a fantastic friend the other 70%, but I wouldn't want that in a relationship.

I feel like I'm being deceitful by letting her believe I'm not interested because of our personality differences, but I'm worried that if I were to correct her that it would hurt her. Should I continue to keep my mouth shut?
>>
>>16899223
I think it is normal to play your best cards in the beginning of a relationship. It's not really "forcing" anything. I wouldn't tell a guy I just met that I can be an anti-social, lazy, perfectionist and insecure bitch who worries too much. I want him to see the best sides of me. And I don't expect the guy to show me all his flaws at the first date either.
The chemistry was the same. It's mostly about intellectual connection and how good conversation is, mixed with physical attraction. I remember that the first week, right after I met my ex, we spent hours making fun of each other, talked about astrophysics, discussed about the best way to take over earth and replace humans with androids and about our personal problems and I loved it all. We had the same sense of humour, similar values, a lot of similar interests. Another thing: I never felt uncomfortable around him. There was no awkwardness, even if we're both pretty introverted and anti social. There was something in him that made me feel like I could sit next to him in silence and it was just as good that having the deepest, most interesting conversation. THIS kind of chemistry and connection is something I really seek in a partner.
>>
>>16899276
Telling her wouldn't make any difference in your relationship and would just hurt her. Do not tell anything.
>>
>>16899223
Please explain further!
>>
>girls only
My girl says it hurts sometimes when I fingerbang her/try to fuck her. Sometimes it hurts more/earlier and sometimes later. She was raped a few years ago or so which is why she says it hurts.

Is there anything to do at all?
>>
>>16899342
She could seek a therapist and work on her trauma.
You could try to be really sweet, take things slow and make her feel comfortable.
Make her really aroused, give her a lot of oral, finger her slowly while kissing and holding her, just get her used to the idea of being penetrated. Make sure she's really wet and horny before you have sex. And then be slow, kind, loving while having sex. Make her associate sex with something good, make her feel loved.
>>
>>16899276
>because she's painful to be around 30% of the time

painful to be around? Like because you're a 4chan sperg and want to be with her so badly, or because she's a pain in the ass sometimes?

If the latter, my best friend is a girl. At one point she was dropping constant jokes about being in a relationship (similar to yours), we were also hooking up at the time. One night she dropped a half joking "what if we dated for real", I pretty much just laughed it off and assumed she was joking, but told her our personalities were too different and we'd probably murder each other within a week.

Truth is, I love her, but there are some parts of her I absolutely cannot stand. She gets tempestuous as fuck at times, especially when she's drunk too much, and it's shit I have absolutely no tolerance for at times.

Still, I don't go out of my way to tell her that because she's my friend and it solves nothing. All telling her would do is just hurt her, nothing else. Her personality is her personality.

You don't have to have 100% compatibility as a friend, but you do need pretty damn close to that in a relationship. Bottom line, you don't with your friend, and that's the only thing that matters. Don't bring up needless drama that changes nothing.
>>
>>16899342
>Is there anything to do at all?
Therapy. This absolutely does happen to some women as post-rape trauma (short version basically they just involuntarily clench up, the body identifies penetration as an attack) and unfortunately professional therapy is the only solution that works even sometimes.
>>
Suprisingly, I'm going on my a second date with this girl I met online.

We've kinda been texting daily, though she's busy with school and I try not to interrupt.

Anywho, what are some good tips/ways to be interesting on the second date?

I know to be myself is the most important. But my fear of failure is getting to me.
>>
I spent two dates doing fucking nothing
>first date we drove around, got drunk, and had sex
>second date we walked around some storefronts and got coffee
>we are both shy so I didn't really talk much to her
>feel like I know her even a little better so I am ready to open up on the third date
>calls me and says we shouldn't keep seeing each other
>she is into drinking with friends as far as I know
>I am into hiking, camping, fishing etc.
Any way to convince her for one more date now that I am comfortable enough to not be so quiet with her? Should I ask next time I see her, wait a few weeks, or just stay friends? We are coworkers so not talking to her anymore isn't really an option
>>
If a girl wants a dick pic does that basically mean she wants to fuck you? She also complimented me on it(although idk what kind of heartless shrew would ask for one then talk shit). We were talking about sex when she implied she wanted me to send a picture.
>>
>>16899418
Find a good park nearby and have a picnic.
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>>16899444
I know it sucks but if she works with you it might be best to let it go. Or at the very least dont try and date her again immediately. It really all depends on why she said you shouldnt date anymore
>>
Are uncut dicks any worse for you, girls? Do you prefer circumcised/not, or does it not matter during sex?
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>>16899493
Doesn't matter during sex, but uncut dicks look 100 times better than cut.
Wouldn't be a deal breaker for sure, tho.
>>
>>16899493
I don't care too much as long as neither is a problem. For example if you have phimosis and experience pain/health problems because of it or if your dick is just desensitized and you almost feel nothing cause you don't have a foreskin. Other than that i care more about he person attached to the dick than the dick itself.
>>
>>16899450
No way to tell. I have sexted with guys i later fucked and also with guys i never met irl. It can mean a lot (context) or nothing at all. Do you know her in person? What do your convos consist off when you aren't sexting?
>>
Is the first time always shitty/bad/inexperienced/awkward/ugly/whatthefuckamIdoing.webm?

5 years until wizard here.
>>
>>16899355
>>16899412
thanks
>>
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Both:
My bf and i have kind of a ldr and recently we started to send nudes and stuff. Now my question: he usually just HINTS at sexuall things. I suspect that he's too shy to actually write lewd stuff out. It goes down like this
>we text about our day
>blabla i miss you/miss you too
>blabla i wish you were here *wink emoji* (mostly it's me who starts)
>some banter and crap
>at some point i tell him that he got me horny and that i can't stad the distance right now
>blablabla we start exchanging some pics
when it would get really hot and heavy, he chickens out and starts to text nothing but lovey dovey stuff
Yesterday i wrote in response to a dick pic that he's a tease to show me his cock cause i know exactly how amazing it feels inside me. He instantly went into "bla i love you"-mode. Don't get me wrong! I love that guy! And we are all sweet and spappy every other time. But it just drains all the horny out of me at that moment... What can i do?
>>
>>16899528
Not necessarily. I assume that the older you get the more you have a clear image of how you want it to go down. It might also be better cause you actually know your body a lot better already, aswell as what turns you on and what doesn't. But that's juat assumptions...
>>
>>16899528
It is inexperienced because you ARE inexperienced.
But I was someone's first and he was awesome. He was 23, I knew he was virgin and we had been together for 4-5 months when we had sex first. I have tried to be really loving, keep him relaxed. We did a lot of foreplay before and I let him take his time to feel comfortable before actually starting to fuck. I told him if to slow down a bit because he was going too fast at some point, but he was really good, not that awkward and he took me close to orgasm twice. Of course with time he got better, but I think he has been awesome.
>>
>>16899490
Says we shouldn't see each other because of different lifestyles, but I was retarded and didn't do anything either of us liked on those first two dates so we never really got to do the things we found interesting with eachother.
I was also planning on asking her to come with me to a small trail I like this weekend, and a concert in a few weeks. But she cancelled on me last night so i didn't ask. I assume asking her to either of those now would be a bad idea?
>>
>>16899549
Sounds like something you need to talk with him about.
>>
>>16899458
Ah we're having dinner. My treat. A Korean bbq spot since I've never been to one.
>>
Girls, do you like soft penises, or just hard?
>>
>>16899574
Meh, it's not THAT big of a prob. I was looking for a bit of insigth, maybe from a guy that's similar. I don't want him to feel even more anxious about us sexting. It's not like this is a make or brake thing. It would just be nice. But def not necessary
>>
>>16899582
I actually really dig soft dicks. I like how they just casually hang there and flop around. If i had a dick i would constantly play with it
>>
>>16899600
That's what most of us do. If you played around with it it would get hard though.
>>
>>16899618
Really? I mean, i sometimes play with my hoohaa just for relaxing reasons... Guys do this too, right?
>>
>>16899622
Of course, I'm just saying it might get hard quicker than you'd think.
>>
>>16899600
>If i had a dick i would constantly play with it

Yeah, we do. It's nice. I assume the same for titties. Don't you play with them?
>>
This tease girl keeps sending me shirtless pics but never meets with me. I asked her today how many guys she sends those to and she just replied "..."
That means a lot right?
>>
>>16899650
Not really actually. But mostly because they aren't located at a convenient arms length.
>>
>>16899522
Were friends irl. She lives kinda far away. I wouldnt call it sexting cause she wasnt like "and then i grab your dick" or whatever. Shes normally shy/prudish about this stuff but i got her to open up.
>>
>>16899737
The illusion is real
Anyway, you basically called her a whore. You blew it and there's nothing you can do to save this
>>
>>16899650
I squeeze mine when I'm bored or while I'm studying. Its fun, they're small though.
>>
>>16899549
It sounds like he just wants to make love to you and make you feel good... which is cool but not what he needs to express when he should be coming off as more hot and heavy.
>>
>>16899746
Literally makes no sense. But gj trying to make someone else feel bad for no reason. You must be great at parties
>>
>>16899572
>>16899444
So would inviting her to a concert on the 30th when I see her on Saturday be a bad idea? I bought tickets already because I want expecting this
>>
>>16899549

To me it sounds like he's not really comfortable with it all and has no idea what he's doing, but is just trying to keep pace.

To be honest I kind of had the same thing with my girlfriend at first. I suck at sexting, but I would try for her.
>>
>>16899792
Thanks anon! Should i cut it out or take it down a notch?
>>
>>16899764
I do think that it's kind of uber cute, but sometimes i'm just not in the mppd for that fluffy kind of thing. But i guess i can get over it.
>>
Ladies, how much does a man's job play into your attraction. I'm 25, and finished my associates, luckily got a job paying 52k and working on finishing a bachelor's. I'm deathly afraid of jumping into the dating scene because I feel I just don't bring much to the table in a financial/educational regard yet.

Barring looks, hobbies, sociability which I'd rate myself fairly well according to friends family and associates, should I really be worried? Everytime I meet a new women and they say "Oh got my BA/BS/working on masters" I feel so demasculated.
>>
>>16899837
Tell him this exactly. You might scuff his pride but he'll either sink or swim with the dirty talk. Sounds like he's a good guy who's scared to come off as an asshole because he was taught not to be vulgar - if you tell him that's exactly what you want and get him to try it hell hopefully get into the groove. But make it clear that's exactly what you want.
>>
Guys, if you owed your girlfriend some money but she wants to gift you a ticket to an expensive event. How would you feel?

I want to go to an event i won for free, but Id have to pay his ticket and he seems umcomfortable, don't know if I should push the subject or sell it.
>>
>>16897243
ladies

>ask girl to meet up on
>she says yes, after she's off spring break
>Text her after spring break, make a plan to meet up later in the week
>Text her once during said week, get no response
>FF a couple days, the day right before we had planned to meet up, she texts me to say what's up
>We talk for a bit
>ask her if we're still on for tomorrow before going to bed
>"Well we haven't talked all week and I don't meet up with guys willy nilly"

wtf is this? We had plans to meet up, and I even texted her during the week and she didn't respond. The ball was in her court and I wasn't going to be one of those guys who relentlessly texts a girl without getting a response first.

Is there any femanon who can make any sense of this?

Should I just abort at this point?
>>
>>16899862
Just buy it and get him to pay for the meal/drinks? Keep things even like that.
>>
>>16899862
I'd be uncomfortable with it and feel like I was burdening her if I both owe her money and she's paying for expensive dates. There's nothing wrong with being treated, but when you owe them money it feels weird.
>>
Femanons,
Is it expected that your boyfriend get along with your female best friend?
>>
>>16899901
No, but it's nice.
As long as you don't talk shit about her friends, and you date someone smart enough to like you beside the opinion of her friends.

My best friend and my boyfriend hated themselves when they met. Me and her have been friends since elementary school and grew up completely differently - she's a party girl, I'm a nerd. Me and my boyfriend got close because of my nerdy interests. They hated each other, but still respected my choices. After 7 years we have a group chat together and we go on holiday together.
>>
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>>16899864
> Is there any femanon who can make any sense of this?
It should be obvious. You're a text buddy. Good enough to entertain her, but be seen in public with her? Right. No.
>>
>>16899958
>It should be obvious
well that's the vibe I was getting. Glad we're on the same page. Thanks.
>>
>>16899901
No, but I'd hope he'd make a little effort to play nice with friends and family. We have to do the same with his friends and family.
>>
>>16899999
>>16899935

It's not that I shit on her or anything, I'm fairly nice to her face but in reality I despise her because she's an absolute bitch to me. Already discussed with my gf, I just give her the cold shoulder when she's bitchy.
>>
Heres a question Ive had for a bit for women.
Its apparently true that women think about sex differently than men and thus get arousal from seeing any form of sex whereas men only get it from their preferences.
Is this why women seem more open to homosexual friends than men.
>>
Guys

Besides sexual stuff what are some sweet things I can do for my man to make him feel special/important?

So far all I can think of is making him food when he comes over.
>>
>>16900035
blowjob. Like seriously. Initiating sexual contact. Its always the mans job. It feels like women never actually want it and are always just doing you a favor.
>>
>>16900031
I don't know what you're on about but a girl might be friends with a gay guy because he won't be attracted to her. Lots of girl-guy friendships don't work out because one of the parties didn't want to be friends, they wanted to fuck.
>>
>>16900051
Just a study about how men and women view sex differently. Women dont seem to view homosexual sex differently whereas guys do. So I feel like it would explain why guys are less open to homosexual friends.
But is it really a problem that a friend would be attracted to you. Kinda feel like Id be flattered if a friend were attracted to me. And I normally am.
>>
>>16900035
I struggle with that too. Need more ideas!
>have slipped tiny love notes into my bf's pockets
>drove 6h to see him for about 2h
>went to the place we had our first date and drew a heart
>went there with him and it was cute to go bavk to that place. I brought sharpies so we can fill in our initials into the heart. >went on vacation and i searched the whole beach to find a little stone shaped like a heart. I'm going to give it to him tomorrow.
>>
>>16900092
I must be in a tougher situation because I feel my boyfriend is less romantic. So I'm not sure if that kind of stuff like finding a rock on the beach or drawing hearts on stuff is a big deal to him.

He's a simple guy who likes blowjobs and being given food.

I did get him a fallout bobblehead that he liked a lot though.
>>
>>16900071
Studies aren't factual, anon. The collected data can also be manipulated to try and prove a bias the people who commissioned the study wanted to show in the outcome. Results can rapidly vary between populations and age groups. There's also the problem of how they collected the information, location the studies were conducted (a liberal city with mostly college kids vs some hick religious town), lack of or no regulation, sample size, and knowing if the people they studied were lying. You can't throw a blanket over human behaviour.
>>
Hello, /adv/.

This one is intended for the girls here, although guys can chime in as well if they feel like it.

I am twenty-eight years of age, and I work in a very close partnership with the local church institution. In essence, I was hired as caretaker of vulnerable youths who, for one reason or another, are unable to sustain a normal life, be it from a physical disease, mental disorders or otherwise. This job was, in many aspects, my very own salvation. A great multitude of the problems that the teens here deal with are problems I've seen in myself, to a lesser or greater degree. I can proudly say that, working closely with the local priest has opened my eyes in more ways than one, and, if it weren't for his wisdom, I would've ended my life as it were.

Unfortunately, as if by some ironic twist of fate, things have become... troublesome. First, I wish to make it clear that I am not an evil man. I've always loved animals, had two cats of my own, adore my sister's dog, and I've cherished each moment spent taking care of my sister's one-year-old son as well. My sins lies with me, and myself. It is through these kids that I pave my way back to a place where I can face myself and be proud again. Of what I have become, and stand for. Which is exactly why when one of my charges started acting strange towards me hit so hard.

She's seventeen, a child who doesn't know right from wrong, let alone understand the concept of true adoration. When we received her, she was, for a lack of a better expression, a mess. She abused herself, blamed herself over her mistreatment at the hands of bullies, and dabbled in narcotics. She was standing on the edge to a very bottomless pit awaiting her. Since she arrived, however, she has improved significantly. Almost alarmingly so...
(limit)
>>
>>16900173
(cont)
Eager to please, she follows me around everywhere, whenever allow to do so. While I do enjoy the company, it is her demeanor that worries me. She's quite frankly overly friendly, to a degree where it is clear she is infatuated with me. Naturally, I played it off as a teenage crush at first, convinced it would pass. It hasn't. Now, I'm in an ever deeper mess. Three nights ago, when she was supposed to be asleep, I found her in my chambers, waiting. When I told her she should return, she immediately professed her 'undying love' for me, on the spot. Unsure what to do, I panicked. I sent her to her room, cross, I admit. I'm afraid I came off rather cold. Her words shook me.

Unfortunately, however, she has since returned to her previous demeanor, adamant to 'win me' over with time. I had preferred if she would have hated me. Obviously, I cannot go to the priest about this, nor my employers. There are too many risks involved, for both of us, and I do not wish to see her removed from the program. She thrives here, and I am afraid that she would relapse if she is forcibly removed elsewhere.

So... what do I do? What can I do?
>>
>>16900117
Its webmd so its pretty trust worthy. And the study wasnt directed at what Im asking. It was how about how men are more sexual oriented than women and backed up by measuring devices. Im abstracting the fact that women showed similar arousal to all sex shown to them whereas men only showed arousal towards their preferences to come up with that.
>>
>>16900101
men dont care about any of that. If you know what he likes whats the problem.
>>
To females:
Do you really enjoy nerdy things like real sci-fi, not well known video games and things like that or just more mainstream incarnations of it like marvel movies etc
>>
>>16900101
Yeah, my bf is very into that romantic shabang but to me it doesn't come naturally so i have to think p hard to come up with stuff.
>>
Need advice from fellow girls,

The guy I like asked me out for the first time a few days ago, for a date later next week. It wasn't anything really official or special, but it meant something to me because I really like him. Anyway, that was Monday, and after that I hadn't seen him much until today. When I saw him today and he seemed like his normal self, but wasn't flirting with me as he usually does and he actually cancelled in a way that implied that he wouldn't be able to reschedule to any other day next week, which I think was really like a "let's not do this" sort of thing. So I'm actually pretty upset about this. Not upset at him, but upset at myself, because now I'm feeling not good enough or wondering what I did to make him lose interest. I don't want to wonder whether he found someone else or even think about whether I have another chance with him. I know it could be either of those or even something completely different like he has plans with his friends or something. I don't know. But my question for anyone reading this is, could I have some advice about just how to stop feeling like crap right now? I've never had a guy cancel on me before. That's not because I'm great on anything, but just because I don't have much experience at all, and most of the "dates" I've been on weren't real dates - they were just me hanging out with someone I was already good friends with and developed feelings for. This guy I'm not really close with already. We're friendly but not really friends. So I feel a lot more unsure about myself and I think that's why I'm beating myself up over it. I just have this terrible sinking feeling, paired with extreme feelings of embarrassment.

tl;dr how to not feel terrible when someone cancels on you? (with no intention of rescheduling)
>>
>>16900203
Have you tried, I don't know, TRYING to reschedule with him?
>>
>>16900197
>real scifi
I don't really know what this means... You mean like Philip K. Dick novels and the movies that were based on them? Yeah. You mean old corny movies like Logan's Run? Yeah.
>not well known video games
I'm the wrong person to ask because I was only ever into mainstream games in the late 90's and 2000s when I had more time. I do like horror games a lot. Not FNAF shit, but like Fatal Frame, Silent Hill, and random indie games people make on the internet with shitty, lo poly 3d models that truly look like crap but at least the game has good mechanics. I used to be in a game design major though, so I don't think most people give a shit about these things, let alone most girls.
>mainstream incarnations of shit
I really love Nolan's Batman trilogy, but other than that, the only comic book movies I've liked are ones that are visually striking despite their huge dissimilarities from the work they were derived from (like Watchmen and .... wait for it... Constantine. Yes I am probably the only person on earth who reads Hellblazer and doesn't find that Keanu Reeves movie to be an abomination. I just really like his dopey face and Rachel Weiss).
>>
>>16900254
I just want advice on how to not feel like crap for the current moment. I don't really care if he wants to reschedule or not in the future (though he implied rescheduling was not an option). I feel shitty right now and know I should not base my feelings on whether or not a guy wants to hang out with me, so I realize this is more of a "me" problem than a "thing I need to fix in regards to him" problem.

I just have self esteem issues because I don't have much dating experience and I basically feel like this is my first rejection. I want to fix the feeling, not the outcome.
>>
>>16900269
You give me hope you know, I read almost everything watchmen related (except 2 or 3 before watchmen), love Philip K. Dick especially 3 stigmata of Palmer Eldritch. I also like Constantine movie, haven't read comics though, cause they're hard to get in my country
>>
>>16900269
Silent Hill wooooooooo
>>
>>16900279
No, but if you try to reschedule and he says yes, then the source of your feelings is gone.
>>
>>16900035
Try a massage. I know I could use them a lot more than I'm getting them.
>>
to guys:
how much make up is too much? when going to a party, how much should one appy to not look fake in your eyes?
>>
>>16900197
Well it depends on what you mean by really nerdy, but I love all things animation. I regularly watch cartoons, anime, and know up with independent online animators. I'm into the Vocaloid "fandom" and have a waifu. I collect some manga and figs. I've done a bit of cosplay and like conventions. I love jfashion.
>>
>>16900409
I maybe "purist" but anything more than small black lines on eyes is too much for me.
>>
Everyone ignores me over text, and it's painful as fuck. In person they're all buddy-buddy, but the moment I go digital I get no response. They log in continuously to hold other conversations, but they ignore anything I say.
I just don't get it. One girl even hits me up every once in a while, but completely drops conversation as soon as I reply.

What do I do? What is the magic trick to become more likeable over text? Guy here, by the way.
>>
>>16900415
Seconding that
>>
>>16900409
Wear what you want. As long as it's not obvious and excessive and is appropriate for the occasion, go for it.
>>
>>16900035
Support him in his sport/hobby of choice somehow. I loved it when my ex would come out to my games, or we would have art nights together. Having a girl touch you in a non-sexual way is nice as well, in private shows you're comfortable with me, in public shows you're willing to display that we are an item
>>
>>16900409
I avoid girls with lots of makeup on. Makes me think they're not nearly as pretty without it. A tiny bit of foundation and eye liner (not shadow) is fine.
>>
>>16898776
I agree with the other anon
>>
>>16900455
Helpful advice thanks!
>>
Today was a good day. I asked if the girl I got a crush on would like to come out with me to the city to go eat and just hang around in general. We talked about a lot of stuff, including our past lives, interests, etc. We share a lot of similarities, and for the first time in my life I actually think that I am falling in love with someone.

We spent the evening together watching and laughing at various strange and hilarious youtube videos, and when I wrapped my arm around her she didn't react with disgust or apprehension like I feared!

I think that she might like me, but I am unsure how I should proceed. Just keep hanging out with her & ask her out for coffee, movies etc and see how things develop?
>>
>>16900715
Late answer but probably yes, try to keep it simple during first few dates
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