How do I get over my girlfriends sexual past?
She's been with 6 guys at 18 and I was a virgin until I met her. I didn't bother me at first because I was just looking to get laid but then I ended up in a relationship. Then we were talking about sex and I told her I wanted to face fuck her next time. I made the mistake of asking her if she's even been face fucked before and she said yes. It just bothered me, is this normal? She's been open to her past with 100% honesty all the time before btw.
>How do I get over my girlfriends sexual past?
I don't know how you can get over something like that, as I've never had to deal with the situation before. But for happiness, in general: Stop comparing yourself to other people. Your sex life isn't a race and quantity =/= happiness. Focus on quality.
And for the record, if you have these issues, asking her personal questions like that will never yield the result you want. You'll never want to hear the answer because it's a reminder of your own personal "failings."
Don't know where you're from, but that's pretty common in the west. That's not to say you should settle, if that's not what you're looking for. If you think sexual count devalues a person, then more power to you for waiting on the right person.
>6 guys at 18
That's pump and dump or fuckbuddy material, not relationship material.
Keep banging that slut but don't get attached and be on the lookout for an actually decent girl.
By the way, if she's admitting to having 6 guys before, the real number is probably around 10-12.
>I know my gf is a disgusting slut, but it's 2016 so I'll force myself to think that there's nothing wrong with settling for sloppy seconds, just like the media told me
Kill yourself cucks.
I'm in the completely exact same situation, OP.
I don't know how long you've been with her but I've been with my gf for 7 months and even though it doesn't bother me as much now, the thoughts don't go away, it's more like I've just "accepted" it.
Every time she introduces me to a "good" friend of hers that's a guy I always get paranoid, when she tells me about a chapter in her life the first thing that comes to mind is her probably having sex with someone in said situation. The thing that made it worse to me was that my gf claimed she hasn't had a boyfriend for 5 years before me, but then in an argument we had it turned out she'd been "seeing" guys for those 5 years which just translates as "fucking" to me. It just makes it worse that when I first met her she made me feel special like she'd never met a guy that mattered to her, she always painted this picture of her being a "good" girl, but in reality she's spent most her life just having casual sex and fuck buddies, or I don't know the details because I don't want to ask.
Sex isn't anything special for these girls anymore, it's just something they do when they feel like it, or even a tool for them sometimes. You're not her first anything. Maybe she loves you, but at the end of the day, we're guys and we care more about sex and our pride, even if we do love them.
Honestly, since the day I started finding out about her past, I knew that one day the relationship will end. I'm young and need to get over this because it bothers me and I can see it makes me have hateful feelings towards her that I wish I didn't feel, because despite that, she's pretty much perfect and I would marry her. But I know I have to get over this so there's no solution, and cheating would just make me feel wrong.
I know it's not much help, OP. Just letting you know you're not the only one that feels like this and maybe relating to my story can somehow help you out.
you see OP you fell for the biggest lie ever told and that is that women equate sex with love and that was never true. The bad thing is that it was men that started that lie so they could feel special if a woman let you crawl on. What men fail to understand is women constantly have men panting after them and it is very easy to reward one occasionally so over time that number becomes large and depending on how desperate the woman is to keep a particular one around she will allow them to do some really degrading things. Some smart men know this and fuck them and leave.
Yeah, what's up with this?
I just had some girl that told me she was a virgin asking me how many girls I slept with...
What the fuck dude? I don't want to tell her 'no idea lol' she'll be a nervous wreck like OP, I dont want to lie to her like OP's used up whore lied to him,
Just dodge the question, with class. Tell her you can't remember any other girls since you met her and then stuff your dick in her mouth before she asks again
Like most shit that bothers a guy you just try not to think about it until you magically find yourself not thinking about it and then you are ok again until you think about it, but don't be too hard on yourself because it is a work in progress.
I met my current girlfriend when I was in the mentality of just assuming she was fuck and dump material and she said she'd slept with 3 guys before me. I didn't give a fuck. At some point over the next year she shifted in my head into 'maybe want a relationship' territory and at some point I start thinking about other times she alluded to 6 guys and I'm thinking well shit she lied about it being 3. She most likely was closer to the truth when she said 6, but if she covered up 6 with 3 then it is likely closer to 9 if not 12.
I thought, y'know I'm just not going to think about this until it stops bothering me. I didn't bother me until I viewed her as more than a random fuck so I don't know why girls get so pissed off at what is basically a compliment.
I mean, ok I know that it is supposed to be nobodies business and BODY SHAME NO! but it seems an extreme knee jerk reaction to an otherwise sensible culture of sexual liberation. Nobody likes to feel shamed or judged I guess.
A poor false equivalency would be something like me getting married a bunch of times and a women being all "I thought we were just fucking around, but turns out I want to make you that one special guy who gets to marry me" and I'm all "shit, I get married to like, tons of guys. I've been married a dozen times already, it is basically meaningless and not really much of a deal for me, the princess is in another castle lol".
because people like him are bitter and end up alone. They usually end up as a "cuck" because by the time they decide to stop being bitter sperglords, there aren't any virgins left.
Fuck off dumb cunt.
>it's okay to be a cuck as long as I'm ignorant about it!
Are you retarded? Women like it if their boyfriend had a lot of sexual partners before her since it proves his worth as a man.
It's complete opposite for women.
Your fear of being cucked is exactly why you deserve to be cucked.
>girl has fucked 2 guys in here life
>thinking this is the most important factor in determining who this person really is (forget character and her understanding of life and the universe
Listen to how retarded your thoughts are
My GF sucked 1 guys dick but I took her virginity.
It didn't bother me but if she used the term
Well shit OP I feel bad for you, she trusted someone else enough to let them do degrading shit
My girlfriend said she's saving her asshole for marriage and we are working up her comfort to it because she thinks we will settle down together.
OP, tell her you feel really insecure about it, and ask her if she could do anything to make you feel validated.
Like my girlfriend is offering anal.
I'd say something that shows she values the relationship and I wouldn't want her introducing me to her previous fuckbuddies. I'd kind hit her.
because, like most guys on this board, it matters to some people that they don't have a pure maiden to soil and eventually ruin for someone else who will also get pissed that she wasn't pure for him and so on
There are practical reason but in the end it comes down to this.
Your value as a partner is judged by other people. If they judge your value to be low then it is low. There doesn't need to be a rational reason.
> rather eat good food than something someone regurgitated onto my plate.
Never look up what part of the pig bacon comes from.
You don't tell a virgin girl you banged 100 other girls if you want to keep banging her
Really. Simple as that.
The only people that would ask something like that are virgins. So dodge the question
Similar thing to OP but my GF of 3 years always told me she had never been with anyone but me, every other guy she saw had a no below the belt rule.
Well recently found out that a year before we met she got shit faced at a party and ended up going back to some guy's room and ended up almost having sex with him and giving him a blow job.
And now I feel super hurt and betrayed and I'm super insecure and jealous now. Like I don't have the biggest dick but I could rest east knowing she didn't know better, now I wonder if this guy was bigger than me.
She says that she only wanted to make out with him and then he got super pushy and she was super drunk and she didn't know what to do and felt like she had led him on and that it was her fault. Then he tried to stick it in, but she was so uncomfortable that she was tight as a clam and she told him to stop but he wouldn't and get trying, so she finally just gave him a blow job so he'd leave her alone. And that she hates that night and that memory and is so ashamed of it and that she never told me because in her eyes I am the only person she's ever done anything sexual with because she doesn't count that as she wasn't turned on she was afraid, drunk and disgusted.
What do you guys think? I still can't get the image of her blowing another guy out of my head and I get crazy jealous and insecure.
>she has a lot to offer as a partner (supportive, compassionate, caring, attentive, fun to be around)
>but if she's fucked more than 2 guys, she's trash
That's shit logic. Any person's value is theirs to set, not yours.
honestly? i don't think that's completely similar to OP. it sounds like she feels guilty. she probably should have told you, don't get me wrong. but it also sounds like it's something she'd rather forget.
>How do I get over my girlfriends sexual past?
It's actually way easy to not give a shit about your girlfriend's past if yours is just as 'bad'/'worse'
me? I've fucked married women, had threesomes, raw dog random tinder girls, cheated, did BDSM on this psycho bitch who let me cum in her butt
My notch count is +40 and i'm in my 20s. I genuinely don't give a fuck if a girl is a slut or not- they usually all are anyways. I just enjoy their company and I know I can be a dirty little bastard if she wants to be a dirty little bitch at any time
so your solution is to keep her around and cheat on her until you stop feeling insecure.
Everyone else will tell you some bluepill bullshit advice but this is one way that is GUARANTEED to fix your emotional state
>What do you guys think? I still can't get the image of her blowing another guy out of my head and I get crazy jealous and insecure.
Fuck other women and don't tell her. The feeling goes away quick and everything will be fine. Welcome to reality.
I've spent 3 years with this girl and am about to move in with her. We both have stated that we're committed to our relationship and want to build a life together. She's my best friend.
I'm not going to risk destroying everything by doing something like that. Besides the fact that I'm not an awful person.
I'm not able to get over this right now, but I know that solution has the potential to fuck more things up than it fixes.
>How do I get over my girlfriends sexual past?
That's a complicated journey for you Anon, but these are my general conclusions after being 50+ partners interspersed with long-term (1+ year) relationshits. SO basically long-term monogamy followed by fucking my brains out in short bursts.
>1 - Realize that women have a time limit to their "power"
Men care how women look more than women care how men look. Women start showing their age at around 25. But really. That's when their skin starts sagging, they start getting fat usually, cottage cheese asses, etc. Girls *really* go downhill in their mid to late twenties compared to fresh, young 18-19 year olds or younger. It really does matter.
So consider that she's got from around 15 to 25 to experiment and find a long-term partner. That's only a decade, which seems like a long time, but men literally have until they're like 40-45 until the same shit starts happening on a noticeable scale, i.e. women actually start rejecting you based on age. If you want to argue with that you can, but my 19 year old roommate and coworker told me who she would fuck at work. half the guys were 40. 19. 40.
So if women want to explore, they have to do it soon and do it a lot because they've got limited time. Please have some compassion for that. Imagine if you were to suddenly turn ugly at 25... how would that affect your current actions Anon? (cont.)
>2 - Think about WHY this bothers you so much and address it.
Does it bother you because you feel like she's got more "power" than you having been with many more people? Does that intimidate you? Or is it because you view it as "dirty"? or something else?
I can't logically advise you about this until I know what is truly is that bothers you. One thing that used to bother me (and still does) is female expectations. Those slut faces who fucked a lot when they were young were always trying to settle down with me while I was trying to be adventurous. I still remember a conversation with my ex at 18
>Hey, Ryan fucked you up the ass right?
>Her: Yeah, and tied me up, and did all of this other stuff
>OK sweet, I want that too
>Her: Nah, it didn't feel very good.
>But that's not really fair now is it
>Her: Well sorry Anon, I guess you should have caught me in my prime!
So it bothered me that these women would go be virile sluts... but then want to try and be "good" with me/not put in effort. Fuck that.
After identifying what truly bothered me, only then was I able to address it.
>3 - (General life advice here) Forget worrying about what other people are doing. Get YOURS.
Really. So many people waste time worrying about shit that doesn't matter instead of putting in the time to get what they want.
So what is it that you want? Do you want to do all of those things to your girlfriend that those other guys did? Do you want a girl who isn't that sexual?
Figure out what you want. That's what matters. Then go get it. /end
Do you really see it as rape? Honest question because I'm trying to sort my head out with the whole thing and I know I have dark insecurities whispering into my ear.
Doesn't help that she lied to me about it and I only found out about it through a friend of hers(who didn;t know about the rapey bits, but thought it was just a guy she fooled around with) and had to confront her on it. So I have some of the old hurt from originally hearing that getting in the way of properly digesting the information she told me.
So to someone not involved. You really see that as rape or close to?
Hmm, ok, thanks for that. It's good to hear that from an outside perspective, sometimes you need someone to slap some sense into you.
I was really hurt because she always told me her first sexual experience was with me and when I heard this it felt like that was untrue and this had taken that away from me, This really special memory.
But I guess I just need to accept that there's more nuance to life than that and not everything is black and white and even if the nature of that event started sexual, it was not a sexual experience to her, the fact that he literally could not penetrate her is proof of that. Plus more proof is how much she fucking broke down when she told me about it.
Yeah girls have weird mental things with what they call "their" rapists.
So many stories of girls masturbating to the night they were violently raped by their dad/some rando etc.
It's a dark truth that women at the instinctual level want to be taken and dominated. Once a woman is raped (especially if she orgasms during that rape which is common) she's pretty much marked by the rapist as his in her psyche forever. That's not baggage any normal person should need to endure in a relationship.
Like it or not it's the truth.
well they didn't have sex. He wasn't able to penetrate her, and after he tried once or twice, that was when she gave him the blow job because she really REALLY didn't want him to penetrate her. So it was her way of like ok stop that, but here have this instead and then you can go away.
He also didn't do anything to please her. Basically just drunken making out, took her clothes off and tried to stick it in.
This was hard for me with my first gf. She had been with like 7 dudes before me at 21, she was my first. Eventually I stopped caring so much, but I'm gonna try to remain ignorant about any future girlfriends sexual past. It just causes jealousy to know too many details about stuff like that.
I've done stuff I'm not exactly proud of as well, like fucked prostitutes, so I'm not really in a position to judge.
I've had similar feelings but I'm gonna tell you right now you're an insecure retard. A bj isn't really a big deal, and if you're gonna get upset by any sexual act a girl you're dating you'll never had a normal relationship.
Sadly I don't think there's any easy way to get over this, it just comes with time. Maybe as you date more people it'll get easier.
Well the big deal was that she made it a very big deal when we started dating that she had never done anything with anyone and that we were gonna take things slow.
As we did she was also very emotional and sappy about how happy she was that she waited for someone like me, that she turned down her two previous ex boyfriends when they tried, and that I'm the only guy she's ever really connected to.
So when this came out I felt like everything was a lie. And I was like "who the fuck are you? Who is this girl who got drunk and blew a guy at a part, thats not the girl I know and love."
So the initial hurt was so bad that it's made coming to terms with the whole semi rape part difficult. I'm trying to believe her on it, and I'm trying to accept that even if it happened, it wasn't a sexual experience or anything and that she never really lied to me because in her eyes it was all true or whatever. But I have those feelings that just creep in and tell me im trying to give myself some happy little out and that I'm just being a faggot and that she blew some guy at a party and none of our first times were her first and basically im a giant fucking cuck and I hate her and myself. That's how I feel when it gets bad. Trying to work towards a happy place right now though.
Never. These threads will never stop UNLESS people actually discuss these things honestly and early in a relationship.
One side may call the other "immature virgins" and the other may say "gross sluts" back, but when it comes down to it, people have different personal values and preferences and those aren't going to change. This is why people need to find a COMPATIBLE partner, and the only way to truly do this is through open, honest, early communication.
Because she doesn't see that as her first time. I get that you're sad but from everything you've said, it honestly sounds like that traumatized her in some way. You're honestly overreacting.
these threads would stop if men stopped being moral cucks and actually fought fire with fire.
it is literally impossible to get genuinely insecure at a girl who's sucked 10 dicks before you when you fucked 20 pussies before her. literally impossible
this 'feels' bullshit is the reason why muricans are so fucking beta and are shooting up schools every other week
It's hard but I do understand why she lied. I'm still hurt by it and I still think she was wrong, but I understand it. And i know overall she's one of the most trustworthy people I know. She just couldn't deal with the shame and pain of that memory.
We're 24 going on 25 and have been together 3 years and planning on moving in together. Her mom as all but accepted me as her son in law.
Or you could as easily argue these threads would stop if women just kept their panties on, so they should all do that.
Again, people have preferences and values different than your own. Believe it or not, there are guys who don't want to sleep around, just like there are girls who don't want to be chaste.
All of this would be solved with honesty and active searching for a like-minded partner.
These threads would stop when men and women realized they are not living in some Victorian-esque Era where people are supposed to control themselves, propose to a nice virgin girl and other things people used to do.
People are fucking everyday. And the people who come here to complain tend to be crazed virgins that got lucky and landed it with their oneitis but found out she sucked 10 nigger dicks before them or crazed emotional virgins that are still infatuated with the idea that they want to find a perfect virgin girl to be with them 5ever... or normal people who just cant get laid as much as their partners and they feel impotent...
Theres many possibilities. In the end, wherever you look, theres stupidity and people who just arent in touch with our reality, flawed or not.
Holy crap! Exact same story as mine. Been seeing her for 8 months. Seems like every other guy she introduces me to, has slept with her. I am going crazy with paranoia. Her lying makes it even worse.
>they are not living in some Victorian-esque Era where people are supposed to control themselves, propose to a nice virgin girl and other things people used to do.
We may not be in that era, but what's wrong if two people want to do it that way? It's their choice and it's what both if them want. It's the same for people who want to sleep around before settle down with each other.
>People are fucking everyday.
Some people are, but some people aren't.
>And the people who come here to complain tend to be crazed virgins
>wherever you look, theres stupidity and people who just arent in touch with our reality, flawed or not
That is what they may be to you, and maybe that's what they really are, but then wouldn't it be better for everyone if they we're together doing their thing? I believe it's futile to try and change everyone to believing and acting a certain way. There will always be people who value virginity or whatnot, there will always be people who are on the other extreme, and there will always be people in the middle. Instead of trying to force a square peg into a round hole, like needs to find like.
>but what's wrong if two people want to do it that way
Never said it was wrong. On the other hand, people who try to go againts this basic idea (that times are different) will accuse it of being wrong whole claiming that people should be a different way.
>Some people are, but some people aren't.
That was said with the sole purpose of illustrating the anons in this thread that, while they may not be fucking somebody, some other people (maybe the person they like!) like and enjoy to fuck casually. They how dense this r9k mentality really is.
>That is what they may be to you, and maybe that's what they really are, but then wouldn't it be better for everyone if they we're together doing their thing? I believe it's futile to try and change everyone to believing and acting a certain way. There will always be people who value virginity or whatnot, there will always be people who are on the other extreme, and there will always be people in the middle. Instead of trying to force a square peg into a round hole, like needs to find like.
When you enter the real world it's going to fuck you up.
>"B-b-but what do you mean other people can have opinions of me that negatively affect my status and provide social consequences to my actions? :'( I just want to get all the things I want and not feel bad things ever!