>longest time you went without a relationship
and none of that 0-14 i was a dumb kid hurr durr shit
I wanted it too much.
I guess I fell too hard for chicks in high school and college, even though I was getting girls and perfectly capable of having a relationship. I'd just put girls on pedestals, and then I got out of shape, and I guess shit just spiraled. I was getting action, but not with anyone I cared about, and when I did, they weren't interested in a serious relationship. Then, two years ago, I'd gotten back in shape and got a girlfriend.
...Then I realized I hated it, and I dumped her to be single again, and to find the right girl.
I'm extraordinarily happy single and I have no idea why I was so desperate just to get into ANY relationship when I have my freedom and can find the right person at my leisure.
>Maybe 2 years?
I was living with my hyper religious, hyper militaristic parents after college whose behavior prevented anyone from ever coming over to their house. This was true my entire life. I had people over maybe 5 times over the entire course of my life. It was too difficult to balance living with my parents as an adult, trying to start a career during the Recession, trying to stack up some cash, and pulling women.
If a woman was interested, I had no where to take her and not enough money for hotels etc.
Damn bro. I'm mirin dat wizard status. What's your power?
the first 4-5 years were me sorting out shit in my life, the rest of the time was me looking but being unable to find anybody because I was still a shitheel, though gradually less so as I got older and mellowed out
>30 years, another wizard here
>I had crushes throughout school and only made moves a few times. I always got rejected, so I tried to ignore relationships entirely until I developed another crush
I've recently started living overseas and I'm trying to make a better effort. I'm kind of a beta but I feel like that might be ok here. One rejection so far but this time I'm not gonna stop.
I know this is b8 but I'm really interested in how you think dating someone equates to providing for them. do you come from a country where people who have jobs are only allowed to date people who don't have jobs?
>first relationship was at 19
>been out of that relationship for 5 months
Long distance when she went to college and conflicting views caused us to break up. Haven't found anyone new since I don't meet new people often.
male age 23
>>longest time you went without a relationship
my entire life. I was born alone and I will die alone.
I suffer from a cognitive decline and I am developing a speech problem. also suicidal and thinking of it every day.
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
technically 2 years
the guy i dated before the 2 years started wanted to do casual making out. during that time i realized how unhappy i was doing that and i finally told him to go away. he didn't like that and called me a bitch. met my current boyfriend about a month after that
~3 years, between ages 15 and 18, I think?
Have generalized anxiety disorder, didn't socialize much, was basically scared of anything and everything. Eventually met someone hot enough to make me brave my fears. Never looked back!
I went most of highschool without a relationship, had a girlfriend for most of freshman year and into sophomore, but then she ditched me after someone leaked a photo of me making out with a guy from the soccer team. He stayed in the closet, unfortunately, so the rest of highschool was pretty much just me and whatever friends I had that weren't complete homophobes.
>if you couldn't tell, m
0-19 no relationship
had one for 2 months, he was intensely abusive and I got out fast. In that short time he managed to scar me pretty bad. had to get therapy
Went 4 years single... and now I have a new relationship with all kinds of trust issues between us both. I hope we can sort them out and learn how to love each other without fear but its hard...
>implying that coming out is cheating
Yeah I was probably going to break up with her after the incident, even if that photo hadn't been spread around. She was nice though, to this day I would have really liked to break things off with her a little bit better.
28 year old woman ... pretty sure I haven't been single longer than a year since I was 12 or so, even when depressed/crazy. I think the longest I've gone without sex was maybe 3 months post high school. I've currently been single since November, have a fuck bud who's in love with me since January though begging me to be in a relationship. Don't feel ready for commitment again though, I'm still in love with my ex even though I broke up with him.
this is why traps are superior
I wasn't implying that, she broke up with you after you kissed someone else. If it would have been cheating if the dude were a chick, his being a dude doesn't magically make it not cheating.
I'm sure you had a rough time after that, but don't act like you didn't pull a dick move.
"Committed" as in there was the expectation that you would be sexually exclusive. Maybe a poor choice of words on my part. Even so, people like you who can't even be honest with themselves about the awful shit they've done are the worst.
I fell into a deep depression when my girlfriend(who was the first and only person I had ever loved including my family) cheated on me, then dumped me (yes I was pathetic enough to forgive her) and then some time later, killed herself. I have bipolar II disorder and it's only gotten worse as time goes on. I spend years depressed, usually socially isolating myself. I'm very insecure and have an intense fear of embarrassment and my coping strategy for dealing with that fear has been avoidance. My brain goes slower and frankly I become much less intelligent when I'm depressed, and when panic is added to it, I struggle to form any coherent thoughts. Unfortunately I panic most of the time I interact with other people, and I always have. I'm just not at a point in my life to date right now and may never be.
5 years and counting
Started off as severe one-itis. (I'd like to think that's acceptable since we were engaged before everything went south.) After that, my excuse was that I was still getting my life together and I couldn't worry about relationships until I had a secure job, a place of my own, etc. In reality, I just kind of let my social skills atrophy away to nothing. No friends, no social life, no end in sight.
After I broke up with my first love just fucked around for a while, added a new girl every 2 weeks on average, kinda fucked up my rep.
but I calmed down now and I'm with a really good girl.
24 F kv
I was the fat weird girl who got good grades in school. Now I've grown up to still get good grades (and unfortunately still weird) but got fit and haven't ever had a serious relationship because I lost the weight but kept the insecurity.
I chose not to date for three years. I decided I needed to better myself and figure myself out better along with what a healthy relationship meant to me.
I am now married to the guy I dated after I did not date for three years.
>31 Years, 7 Months
Humans are violent, tribalist animals whose sole unique trait is the hubris required to believe it is something better or more than all other animals.
The kind of disdain I have for other people isn't some constant, intense hatred. It's just disregard, because I see people at their core. I see myself at my core. I got caught in the human condition and couldn't get out - obsessed with the truth that life is absurd and meaningless. Too caught in my own "human" hubris to live in denial of that fact and to flail futilely in front of an inexorable tide of entropy.
So I see other people who live in delusion as just walking piles of carbon arranged in a particular shape that just happens to be "alive" at the moment, which is to say simply a walking chemical reaction that keeps itself going as long as it can. All this driven by a brain that most of its species do not even begin to comprehend, and even the most learned have not unlocked all the secrets of.
I am a pessimist. I see the failure in everything, see the good in nothing - most important of all, I see the worst in everyone and judge them accordingly. This includes myself.
The part of me that is self aware enough to know these things is also considerate enough to not inflict myself on someone else via a relationship.
Better for both parties that I'm here and they are out there. Less damage that way.
I am gender.
I date around quite a bit, but I've never been in a serious relationship. At this point in my life, I don't see much of a point. I'm still figuring ME out and it would be unfair and uncool to drag a girl into that.
>basically didn't date at all in college
I dated a shitty possessive girl in HS and made the terrible mistake of staying with her through the freshman year of college. Brushed off several qts to "stay loyal".
Then became obsessed with a friend and couldn't get my head clear enough to date anyone else. Full on beta orbiter mode only with more drinking and rage.
Ditched the friend and got laid within a few weeks. Had a couple crap relationships then lived with a girl for a couple years.
That ended and I went chasing pussy, notched more girls in a month than I had in all the years prior. The only one who stuck around for a bit and wanted more was a milf I pretty much only banged to cross off a square in my pussy bingo.
Now going monogamous with a woman who might be partner tier. Met her by absolute chance and couldn't bring myself to treat her like just another plate.
I wish someone had told me that women are garbage for LTRs and I could have enjoyed my 20's a bit more.
>I learned from a young age women are more trouble then they're worth and my job as a therapist has concreted that fact into my mind.
I'm not sexist but I wish I was gay.
People aren't the same, some are more dependant on partners and intimacy, some aren't, statistically the people who don't require those things are more self confidence then those who do.
Like a year
Depression setting in because of post high school reality, though the jailbait I was talking to still tried to kiss me and win me back before I left after he was a complete asshole for no reason.
>20 year old male
>haven't had any type of friendship or relationship since I was in grade school
>I'm an awkward piece of shit
female, 24 years old.
i've never actually been in a relationship, kissed twice but freaked out each time because the thought of someone seeing my car crash scars and bringing another person into my problems, watching me suffer through chronic pain each day isn't worth it.
i had brain surgery young and have dealt with the deaths/suicide of a lot of family, as well as with my parents and my own failing health.
High school is small and health/science based and mostly mostly girls, guys are either painfully socially awkward or turbo fuckboys with no other fascinating qualities, and I am a socially awkward girl. I'm waiting to see what college brings...
Why is it so hard for people to get this right?
Never really cared or tried to have one. Maybe I'm not happy with my current living situation. Not a wizard, just never gotten into a romantic relationship. I get this feeling that I have to work on improving myself before getting into a relationship. Its all coming together but it might still take a few months.
Didnt have an actual relationship until freshmen year of college (still in it as a junior).
Kind of texted a guy for 6months in high school and thought we had something but looking back ehhh, not really.
>three years, happy in a relationship now though
>chick, 8-9/10, gave me a blowjob and i was crushing hard/got super attached to me
>her best friend, 3.potato/10, apparently had a crush on me
>chick told me about this the second time she sucked my dick
>mfw best week of my life
>mfw i cared about her for what in retrospect seems like no real reason
>i genuinely enjoyed spending time with her
>and then she stopped speaking to me
>probably because she told her best friend, and then her best friend convinced her otherwise
>got super depressed
>"i dont want to get hurt again" bs
>truth is i was on borderline of hating women
But I don't have any proof and I've put it all behind me anyways. There were a few times during those 3~ years we had a couple of encounters, but eh.
I actually think kinda like this anon
But i managed to bury dark thoughts inside me and play chad with girls at the pubs.
You can get laid easily if you learn how to be charming.
Basically i dust out my fedora to chicks. Lie to them. A lot. Pretend I'm interested in their shitty lives. Sometimes even be rough to them by telling shit such as "you better run bitch, unless you wanna be raped hard" (this does actually work with some chicks, specially those at rock/metal pubs).
Other times i pretend i'm her dreams gentleman by being so kind, open door first and shit.
So i get laid basically when i want, even though i'm no chad and don't want commitment. Just some cheap fuck.
>My autism is at "REEEEE" lvl. Wrong your.
> Whatever, I'll kill myself later about it
> Cis-Hetero Male Scum
> Couple of days since I was 16
> I like sex, but spaghetti pockets when I think about an0n sex. STI's and pregnancy is too much for me to handle
I have been with the same guy since I was 15. We broke up for a while, 3 years ago, and I wasn't looking for someone else because I was still in love with my boyfriend.
Mostly depression, I haven't been able to keep friends, much less romantic interests (which don't even look that interesting).
My last relationship was ok, but I was really young and my bf broke up with me when after months asking for sex, and I didn't give in. I don't resent him, I really didn't want to, so it's good he moved along to find a girl who would.
As a second reason, nowadays I'm not that attractive either. Not to mention my personality, I complain too much.
Well, she knew I was dating someone and in the process of getting to know that person. But we got drunk at a party and I was a virgin, so she pounced on me. Can't remember half the shit she told me we did that night. But yeah, I'm one of those types that feels guilty extremely easily (a beta, you might say), so I made it official with her on her request the following weekend. I ended it with the other girl I found more interesting later that day. Big regrets all around.
22 years and counting
I don't think i ever tried asking a girl out. I've always had an array of personal and social problems that kept me from asking so i rather fix myself up than pour it out with a girlfriend. I think that's fair and so i decided to focus on my education, so much so i dont think i could supported a loved one. It's ether gonna happen or not but im not too worried. After i set myself up financially i might try.
[spoiler]tl:dr Im fuck ugly with really bad skin so i need as much ammo as i can get before even trying[/spoiler]
>Never been in a relationship
I was rarely interested in anyone romantically and I never reciprocated when other people did have feelings for me. The idea of intimacy was also very uncomfortable to me for a long while.
I feel like I'm finally ready to give dating a go now that I realize that it isn't as scary as I think it will be. But the only guy I'm interested in is someone that I can't have, mainly because he lives in another state and is just too good for me.
Never (22 years)
I went waaaay overboard (like whatever you're imagining overboard to be, times 20) trying to woo a girl when I was 15, now I'm always afraid I'll come off as overbearing and creepy if I make any sort of move.
>mfw I have to check off "I'm not a robot" to post this
>wasn't over my ex who cheated and left me, hated women and thought it more important to be a better man first. Went cocoon mode and after that just did a few one night stands. I've since found a good girl and have been with for about 6 months
Any, I'm male and I've been single for almost a year and a half now, unless you count online shit (you really shouldn't), and it's because I am viciously conservative but live in the liberal hell hole of California. I can't stand most of the degenerates around here, so it's really hard to date.
Partly due to being a boring person, partly due being generally unattractive, but probably mostly due to just not being that interested. My house and gun collection would likely have been a good bit harder to accumulate with a gf.
>Nigger, confused about sexuality, depression, socially inept, sexually inept, overweight for most of my life, emotional problems, college dropout, poor, still in love with someone I can never have
I can barely make friends either for the same reason. I think everyone's better than me and I hate myself.
>and none of that 0-14 i was a dumb kid hurr durr shit
So 14 on is acceptable?
>First relationship was in my late 20s, so 10+ years.
>My racial group has stereotypes associated with it that makes attracting attractive women extremely difficult.
>been chubby most of my life. Combine that with awkward and shy personality and you've got a recipe for failure.
Lost about 35lbs though. I'm pretty lean now and not unattractive. Old classmate didn't recognize me and said, "You look like a buffer, better looking version of anon." Felt good explaining to him that I WAS anon. A drunk girl my roommate had over told me I was cute. I asked a girl out for the first time, but she has a boyfriend.
That's my progress. Hoping to not reach wizard status, but if it happens it happens. Finding a relationship is not on the top of my priority list.
Had a super unhealthy relationship that turned me off to relationships for a while. Depression hit and I focused on that and getting back into my university that I got kicked out of for grades.
Got my grades up, got back into my college, started working out and beat the depression. A couple months into the school year got a qt girlfriend and we've been together 8 months. Sex is still great and frequent, girl is awesome, looking at a 3.8 gpa this quarter and have one more quarter till graduation. Feels good man.
>3 years I guess?
>Focusing on college, also kind of asexual (I find it hard to develop physical attractions towards people although I refuse to call myself one of those tumblr sexualities.) It might also be due to my worry about having sex and breaking my abstinence.
I've had dates and flings since then but I can never fully commit to someone since in this day and age people want to stay in 24 hour contact. I hate texting/talking on the phone so girls think I'm distant or up to no good if I don't respond in an hour when I'm really at home drawing cute girls or playing vidya. I don't mind leaving those activities to go hang out with girls but they can fuck off if I have to report every waking moment to them.
Maybe a year or so.
Just felt like being single. Like most things that's the only real reason to do anything. If you genuinely want someone there are always people looking to date.
The childish mentality is having standards way too high (we all have standards but you have to fit them to what YOU offer) or believing there's nothing you can do to improve your chances. We can all improve in many ways.
>Whole entire life (currently 22, about halfway to 23)
>I'm a fucking coward even though everyone I've talked to about it tells me I'm good looking but I always think they're being nice or biased so I don't take it seriously. Also somewhat overweight but I'm working on that part. Down 20 pounds, 30 more to go.
My last girlfriend left me when my grandmother (mother's side) was dying in hospital and my father (who has Alzheimer's and I am responsible for) was going through cancer screening, and I was studying for finals because I started making less time for her that month.
While I want to date again I'm waiting until things run their course with my dad since I have even less free time due to the progression of his Alzheimer's, and I'm not sure if it would be fair to a girl if I dated her while depressed.
Since about the age of 17-25 or so, the only sexual encounter I had, nevermind a relationship was 1 time and it was with a girl I used to "date" at 14 and fuck at 16. I was about 23 then I think.
Why? A few reasons. I didn't have many close friends until about 21, so I really didn't go out much. And I became obsessed with WoW. Additionally, I put on weight, jumped from about 200lbs to 250 during that time. Now I'm about 300lbs. (5'11).
I'm 28 now, currently one year plus single. I was dating chicks from 24-26 from PoF/Okcupid, but it's too hard for me. It's like applying for a job.
Sub-Why? Well, I don't mind dating fat chicks since I'm fat myself, I am actually attracted to them. But most of the time I'm looked over. I've found that guys who are fit/average will still go for fat chicks, so I'm usually put on the reserve list/back burner because of it. I'm settled for. So my relationships tend to be shit, a lot of cheating and drama.
I've given up the idea of a relationship. I'm not interested in getting ripped just to be respected by females. Fuck that. I'm just back to gaming. FF14 now. You kind of get used to it, almost in a content like state. It would be awesome to be in a relationship, but the effort it takes for a guy like me to be successful is just not worth it, especially when I'm treated like I'm being settled on.
I just realized it's been nearly two years since I touched a females body outside of normal day to day contact.
My first long term relationship went up like a hydrogen bomb was set off because she had commitment issues after 3 years.
I have had opportunities to do so I just haven't felt any physical attraction towards any of them. And honestly I think I'm on some level depressed and afraid of becoming attached again.
Doesn't help the fact where I live almost every girl around my age is a single mom, which I refuse to get involved with them. They usually have major issues that got them where they are.