>be really lonely last night >get horny as fuck and jerk

Text her "well fuck you too!", cut off your phone, and go to sleep.

Sure, there will be drama, but you can just play it off as a simple misunderstanding the next day. Your dick will have healed sufficiently by then.

Why didn't you just go force yourself on your girlfriend last night?

Just tell her you will lick her sweaty slimey cunt if she just deepthroats you dick first and lets you finish in her throat and have your penis covered with warm vomit.

>>16892886
I'll fuck her for you while your dick recovers. I gotchu, bro. No problem.

>>16892985
She didn't text back

Ask her to peg you.

Ask her to fist your anus.

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>>16893105
hot

>>16893105
I vote for this

>>16893105
>>16893109
Fuck that

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>>16893138
>doesn't like pegging

Fag

Alright guys I just told her I want to fuck too.

How do I make my dick smell go away? I took a shower but my dick still smells like cum.

Also how to keep my dick hard?

>>16893149
No gay shit.

>>16893201
getting pegged isn't gay you heteronormative piece of shit

>>16892886
Just tell her the truth. That's the simplest and best option in like 75-80 percent of cases.

>>16893211
Gsy or not. I really don't want anything near or in my asshole.

>>16893222
I'm really embarrassed though. I hadn't watched porn in a month or jerked it unless gf did.

>>16893201
You're already fucked because you're asking us for help on how to get your dick hard. You're putting so much pressure on yourself to perform. That's the basis of all performance anxiety related erectile dysfunction. The more you worry about your ability to get hard, the limper your dick will get thanks to anxiety.

>>16892886
I can't tell you what to do. What would I do? Probably go eat her out and finger her. Give her a couple of orgasms.

Then, when she wants my dick, I would be honest with her that I beat off a million times last night because I was horny. Dems the facts.

if she has a problem with facts, I would just be calm and matter of fact:
>ANON you didn't save it for me!
>You: "I would have loved to give it to you instead. You were unavailable."
>You can't wait?
>You: "I can wait, but I need to be waiting for something. There was literally no contact from you. I'm not going to just wait and hope you suddenly decide to look at your phone."
>But don't you care about me? WAAAA
>You: "I obviously care about you enough to come eat you out and finger you to orgasm without asking anything in return. I'd say that's pretty fucking caring wouldn't you?"
Etc. etc. I've been through it all. I've even had women storm out of my house - literally storm - because I didn't get it up for her. I've had bitches ask me if I was gay just because I didn't want to fuck a dead fish girl who didn't put in effort. Being calm, logical, and collected has seen me through every issue, but you have to have your shit together. I refuse to ever let a woman dictate my jerk off schedule. I own my dick just like you own your fucking uterus, so if you want my cum you should fucking act like it otherwise stfu.

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You don't actually have a gf. You're lying. You're just worried that you may have sprained your dick fapping to yaoi furry shit. Take an aspirin and go to sleep. If your dick still hurts when you wake up, you've sprained it and you should go to the doctor and get some slightly stronger pain relievers than over-the-counter shit. They'll also recommend icing your cock for an hour or so everyday until it's healed.

>>16893230
Okay, tell her the truth, if it becomes an issue. There's a chance that everything will be fine. I've had more than that many orgasms in one day. You can do this.

>>16893254
The fact that you find the claim of having a girlfriend to be unrealistic basically only shows that you never leave the house.

>>16893245
Seconded. Seeing as you're scared to get an attack of "the gays" if you go for pegging, I'd say eating her out is your best option.

>>16893201
Explain to me how any sex act between a man and a woman can be gay.