>buy tickets to event for bf and i
>have to cancel because family emergency (have to take care of ill mother)
>trying to sell the tickets, but no one is buying
>i emailed the tickets to my bf to print them out for us before I cancelled
>tell bf i still cant sell the tickets
>hes told me today to just let him go with one of our friends
>friend is male so its not the issue
>told him I'd be so hurt because its my fave band and wanted to see them, why would he go without me?
>it was something i planned and paid for for us
>said "well, I have the tickets, so I can still just go"
>started an argument
>tell bf I have so much fucking stress from mom being ill that he's so fucked up if he's going to steal my tickets and take someone else to something I've been dying to go to
Now I'm questioning if I'm just being selfish... It's just... it was like our date. I paid for them. He doesn't even want to pay me back for the tickets if he goes.
Am I being the jerk here, or is he? I feel like he doesn't understand how much I wanted to go. How it wasn't only about the band, but it was just something we were going to do together...
Are you mainly upset about losing the money, or about not being able to go there with your bf?
You could look at the tickets as a gift to your bf, showing how much you love him (consider his going to the concert with his friend as a gift from you). In this case though, i think that you should expect something back in return from your bf. Maybe tell him that?
You're both kind of being jerks desu. If you really cannot sell these tickets, what would you rather do? Just waste them? Print them out and tear them up? Do you want to go so badly that you would rather him not get to go?
That said, him threatening to print the tickets regardless, not even paying you for them is a real asshole move.
You should both be trying to make alternate plans for another date together.
let him go with his friend if you can't sell them. if it's a money problem thing you should have sold it as a birthday present
now you just look like a selfish clingy bitch, congratulations
You're being emotionally needy by expecting him to not go just because you can't.
He's a dick for considering going when the reason you can't go is because you're having a family emergency.
He's an epic dick for not even wanting to pay for them.
Well, they were pretty expensive for most shows. I'm not even near rich, so it did put a dent in my budget. Plus, his birthday just passed, and all together, I spent like 300 bucks on him in one weekend. Plus gifts and he's trying to tell me I still "owe him" for his birthday.. He won't even spend 100 on me for my birthday. Not that I care about numbers, but when he starts saying that I "owe" him that, it's kinda shady.
I wanted to give them to a friend or something if I don't sell them, or maybe to my brother. I wanted to sell them and put it towards Disneyland since we were going to go in a couple of months.
He knew I wanted to go. If he would have asked nicer it would have been something. He didn't even entirely want to go. He told me I had to drive and I had to plan everything and pay for his ticket so we could do this together. Now that I can't go he just wants to take the tickets and run?
Because it was an experience. We don't do nice shit together... almost ever. To go was to not only see the bands, but to do something together... He had already seen the band about three times and acted like I was dragging him there... so when he acted like this about the tickets, it set me off. I never have time or money to do nice stuff. And him just wanting to go without me... it just hurts.
Generally because my boyfriend is very clingy with his own money. He has a good job and money isn't even an issue for him. So I feel taken advantage of if I was struggling to buy the tickets and he doesn't even want to pay me back.
>he's trying to tell me I still "owe him" for his birthday
>He didn't even entirely want to go
>Now that I can't go he just wants to take the tickets and run
>acted like I was dragging him there
>my boyfriend is very clingy with his own money
Yeah, starting to think your boyfriend is kind of a loser desu fampaitachi. From the OP it sounded like you were just trying to make it specifically so he couldn't go just because you couldn't.
You are right on this one OP.
Just try not to make further confrontation, for your sake, plus, your mother would feel bad knowing you missed out because of her.
Stand your ground without a lot of stress, you bought the tickets, you should decide what is to be done with them.
We argued through text. And I stopped replying to him after I told him how I felt. He's at work right now and now he's texting me nice shit like it didn't even happen.
I don't know what to do about it anymore. I'm annoyed by the fact that he just has the balls to tell me that I'm paying for his bro date now. I know it sounds selfish of me, but he's being selfisher
Stop having this bullshit conversation through text. Jesus.
Call him after work and tell him if he's going to take his friend, he has to pay you back for the tickets, no ifs ands or buts.
If he's not going to, then ditch him. He's a faggot on too many levels. I can only imagine how much bullshit your relationship is on a grand scale.
>your mother would feel bad knowing you missed out because of her
Absolutely keep this in mind, if your mom finds out you better work those acting chops and downplay that shit.
>He's at work right now and now he's texting me nice shit like it didn't even happen.
He probably knows he fucked up and is trying to gloss over it without admitting his mistake.
>I'm annoyed by the fact that he just has the balls to tell me that I'm paying for his bro date now.
That doesn't sound very selfish at all now that you've elaborated more.
Come the heck on.
I was at work and he was just starting work so we couldn't really talk in person or we would have.
I'm just going to tell him that. And if he's shady enough to still use the tickets and not pay for them (since he does have them in his email right now) then I honestly just can't even with him... We've been together for 5 years.. He knew how much stress my mom's illness was putting on me. Just to do something like this is shady.
If he wants to go, then the only thing that makes it "okay" is if he pays you for both tickets.
You bought it to go with him, not for him to go on his own or with someone else.
What you're saying is totally fair. My gf would kill me, regardless of whether she loves the band or not.
If my gf said, yeah sure go on your own or with someone else? Cool. But I'd still feel guilty, or at least I'd try not to rub it in her face.. Whether it's her favourite band or not.
As for what to do...
I don't think I'd tolerate that or my gf, or even my exes who were pretty crazy and let me do what I want as long as I'm happy...
You're being a dumb cunt regardless of who is selfish. You can't go. Full stop. Now you're telling him he can't go. You're being controlling, it's dumb. Yet he's still trying to be nice to you and you're ignoring him.
Take care of your mom, that's good. But there's no reason to make the tickets such a big deal, it's not anyone's fault. You're trying to make some power play but there's no power to gain.
Just say "sorry I've been stressed I wanted to go but you should enjoy it." Being a cool ass chick gets you more rewards than some controlling bitch.
Oh and regarding money and partners...
I'm off the belief that, if you're going to get hung up on monetary gifts and ship, you're not worth it.
I'm not big on presents and just value the time, or even if it's a tiny cheap ass present that means something. Awesome.
Spend loads and like.. I'd rather you spend that on yourself, that would make me happy.
Dump him OP, he sounds like a douche.
>won't spoil you even though you spoil him
>thinks you owe him more birthday gifts
>won't pay you back for the tickets since you're not going
>didn't want to go to the show with you in the first place
Why the fuck are you with this guy? I wouldn't stay with someone like this. You're not being selfish, it's clear that this show was important to you and you're upset he's taking someone else in your place.
He should pay you for the tickets because you're not going. But other than that, there's no reason for him not to go.
>but it was just something we were going to do together
If you have a family emergency, then you won't be able to spend time with him that day whether he goes to the concert or not.
Him taking my tickets without paying and bringing some one else along is like cancelling a date, then your date goes out to dinner with a friend instead, then tells you to cover the cost because they were promised dinner.
This was a date, our date. That I saved to pay for. That I planned. It wasn't a gift for him because he didn't even want to go for the bands, but he said he'd go with me so we could get out/do something fun.
I'd be alright with him buying the tickets and going, but this wasn't a gift to him. It was an activity that we planned to go to together. I'm not paying for him to take our friend to a show.
>he's trying to be nice to you
OP is being selfish but her boyfriend was a dick, no question. Dude wanted the tickets to go with a friend after he made her pay for both the first time around and won't even give her money for at least his ticket. Now he's glossing over it. He's basically saying he doesn't care how she feels.
I agree with everybody else. Get your money back, then dump the guy cause he's an entitled dick and you clearly have issues beyond this little ticket drama, but also learn not to do the "if I can't have fun I don't want you to have fun either" thing. Next time you're in a situation like this, be mature and keep it about the money.
>i can't go so i want my boyfriend to suffer as well
you're a jealous person that is keeping someone you 'care' about from having a good time. a nice, caring person doesn't pull shit like this. be upset about not being able to go, but don't make him feel guilty when you got him excited about going.
Both of you are fucking retarded.
You cant go, yet you are getting pissed that your bf told you that he would just go with someone else then. Grow the fuck up.
He is also an asshole for the way he is reacting and telling you that he will do whatever he wants because he has the tickets anyways but I would probably attribute his shitty response to your shitty reaction.
Your boyfriend does sound like a piece of shit though.
Imo--your bf's friend should pay for his ticket if he wants to go. You got them on the assumption that he and yout would go together, and so one ticket isn't really yours to decide what to do with, as a gift.
The other one though is fair game.
No, it's not like a date being cancelled and then expecting you to pay because he was expected dinner, it's like you ordering a pizza before you leave work to share, and then finding out you're going to be stuck in traffic and it's going to get cold, but the delivery guy has already brought the pizza and there's no canceling it. Then said dinner partner saying the neighbor can help them finish it, but in your case, you're saying "no, stare at it until it's no good, I'll be home in a few hours to throw it away."
There's no doubt that your boyfriend could be a nicer guy about this, and offer to cover some if not all of the ticket price, or at least try to get the friend to throw in a couple bucks or cover for like, movie tickets in the future, even if that doesn't cover it all.
But it makes no sense to let the tickets go to waste so he just sits at home watching tv and the money is wasted anyways.
It does sound like there's some outside issues that you two need to address, but on strictly the ticket issue, I'm on his side.