Help me!! I have been texting this guy for four years ... And he won't commit to a date! I am 18 he's 26 I love him and I'm traveling all the way from Paris to London to see him and he can't commit to a date! Help me what should I do
Bah parce qu'il a peur que tes sentiments ne soient pas réciproques....
C'est pour ça qu'il fait son faggot a pas dire que c'est une date, t'as qu'a lui répondre que t'aimerais que ça en soit une et pis voilà, soit claire bordel !
Si il fait pas le premier pas, c'est à toi de le faire, quand on veut quelque chose on se bouge pour l'avoir s'tout.
we met when i was 14 at a dance competition. we won .. we danced together for four years on and off. im very mature moved out at 18 to paris from the uk. he has loads of older girls after him. i dont want to lose him
>I'm very mature
You'll look back at yourself when your 20 and realise your not.
If you must why don't you ask him out? Tell him you want to date him. If he says yes, date him. If he says no, you've been rejected and you can choose to continue being friends or cut him of. This shit isn't that hard.
>Are you asking me on a date?
You know what that's code for?
>DO NOT ASK ME ON A DATE, THAT IS CREEPY
You're a fucking retard OP
Just make your fucking move on him you shitty teeniebopper twat.
When you met before there were never dates? Something is weird about this and it can't be the age gap or something else he's nervous about. Are you bf and gf? If not, do either of you date? In all this time why hasn't more happened? Sorry, a lot of questions but this is crazy.
they where never official dates. we met in london for drinks one time and he kissed me. the other times we have been in a group. i totally agree. hee hasnt had a gf in four year. i have had a bf but we texted in my relationship as friends when we broke up he started telling me how much he liked me. we are not bf and gf! thats the dream! we live very far apart and i was a child for a lot of the relationship.
This is an updated version of our current conversation ... I've taken the advice ...
I don't think I could bring myself to date an 18 year old, I'd probably be able to fuck one but emotionally and mentally they are like children.
Don't take that as an offense though, it's just that someone who is 18 still has a lot of personal discovery to do, whereas someone in their upper 20s has stability and confidence about where their life is taking them...I just don't see the compatibility.
Ask him if he supports the legalization of prostitution
You have a fair point but I'm extremely mature and he has known me for years! I live on my own and work I moved to a different country and speak two languages and am I professional dancer. I'm not some kid! We are compatible we would have talked for so many years of not! But thanks for your opinion sir
he said YOU could call it a date if YOU want to
He doesn't see it that way. Ask him if he calls it that too, he is very clearly toying with you and taking advantage of you because you are young
I never mentioned maturity once, and yet you start defending your maturity. Do you see the problem?
Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue thing guy if you like him, but growing up is about more than being able to take care of yourself or being mature, it's having wisdom.
Wisdom manifests in different ways, you might end up telling yourself 10 years later that not going to school to be a professional dancer and leaving the country to meet somebody was young and silly.
I feel like you all should know who I'm talking to ... So here is a picture of him. Also opinion would be great!
Either he's being manipulative, or flirting. If it's the first, he'll say whatever it takes anyway.
If he's flirting though, OP would sound completely autistic.
>you mean a date?
>lol no a drink ;)
>let's make it a date
>you can call it a date if you like ;)
>No but really is it a date? Is it a DATE date, or just a date? Is it a date DATE date?
>hes the top jive dancer in the uk
lmao, nobody gives a fuck if he is a faggot, also... >>16888843
that guys doesn't look 26, he looks like some man in his mid 30's, i think by the fact that you started working really early you developed some daddy issues, and judging by the chat pics, this is guy isn't into the same emotional level as you, having an teenager chasing you when you're way older is an huge ego boost and this guy is just enjoying it.
hes 26 .... ive known him since he was 22.
daddy issues? thats a first. he has issues with trusting i know that. i know it might look that way but he doesn't treat me like some kid. we stay on the phone for hours. last night we talked until 4 am
>I have 7 weeks paid vacation
Oh yea, that. You guys do make less in tech fields though, which is a turnoff. Except in Switzerland, but it seems so quaint there. How much is rent somewhere within walking distance / 10 minute bus ride of the city? I assume your public transport is balla.
>never been to France
Its really matter what would i say? i mean, you can't change him, the age gap is big, you're too young and naive, you may be mature enough to take care of yourself, but you clearly isn't emotionally mature, only time will teach you how to proceed correctly in situations like this.
No it doesn't matter what you say ... But this is an advice board right? I'm asking for some help! Yes I'm young and I haven't delt with a situation like this befor but .. I'm learning. Plus 4chan advice got me this "date" so I'm going to continue to ask what to do. Because I'm mature enough to know I need some help.
OP he's fucking with you. Read those texts out loud and tell me he's not fucking with you. I don't even think he's your friend he's toying with you probably for his ego. Consensus is forget about him, listen to us or don't. Your not convincing anyone.
Thanks ... Maybe your right I have a lot to think about. Reading over are messages Its a little one way. Can't quite believe over 100 posts on this!
I think I need to say I want it all or I want nothing. I listen to the consensus.
>Plus 4chan advice got me this "date"
4chan got you nothing, he invited you at first, you said to him that this would be an date and he basically answered "just for you", i think you're delusional and will not to take any realistic advice towards your situation.
Shit Sherlock you got all that in the three posts and two smileys he did?
The only solution is to ask him in person, and get him to answer by yes or no. Any speculation by underage virgins who are visibly frustrated that someone other than them could fuck you is entirely worthless
Gurl, you reek of desperation. This guy is probably NOT a god like you think he is
>case in point
Please just be yourself and don't obsess any more. You'll really fuck up your chances if he just sees you as a little girl with an unhealthy crush
There's a difference between aspiration and determination. I admit I love this guy and have done for years.
I take your advice and I am trying to play it cool. Any tips on how to do that?
yeah... i know its hard to let it go, i've already been in your shoes when i was a teenager like you(funny), was hard for me to think that all my dreams about this person would never come to reality, but once you find a person that you will love with all your heart and that person reciprocate your feelings at the same level, you will see how much time you wasted in the past.
Aspiration? You could be a great spin doctor. Aspirations are for careers, not relationships. Because you can't force someone to love you, you can't show them all your amazing qualities and expect them to give a fuck.. if you're not it for him, the that's the end of that.
Playing it cool: You talk about your maturity a lot- STOP. It's not mature to do that, it's a big red flag of someone who isn't.
Ask about him and show interest, like as questions and keep the convo going, but never turn it into flattery. When asked about yourself, be humble but excited for your achievements.
IDK, just keep cool. Do you have any questions? You know the guy so I'm sure you can anticipate a potential social situation better than I can.
I ment determination, sorry auto correct.
I do all of that. The conversation has been going on for four years.
The last time we went out just the two of us he flirted with me ridiculously and touched my leg and teased me to the point of me going crazy. He has this control over me. He loves teasing me and then when he kissed me it was so passionate. I guess when I go back I don't know how to be I've changed since I moved to Paris and I know I need to be myself.
Don't ask him as soon as you see him, just get a normal conversation going, wait for a blank and tell him "I want to ask you something. Do you want to be my boyfriend?"
If after asking him out he just laughs, just tell him "I'm serious" and wait for him to reply.
If you see he's not going to say yes, do not beg or scream or shit like that. After he says no, don't go for anything more than "Well, too bad.". Really just prepare yourself mentally for him saying "No", this way you'll have the worst covered. Always keep in mind that him rejecting you isn't a problem, it just means that you'll have to spend some more time before finding someone else.
>"I can't return that to you"
HE LITERALLY JUST GAVE YOU YOUR ANSWER, HE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU
The fact that he flirts with and kisses you, is because he knows you're down to fuck anytime he says. Not because he has any feelings for you
Okay ... Seriously thank you so much for the advice! It seriously means a lot. I'm prepared for him to say no. I've asked if he saw me as his girlfriend befor but he never give me a straight answer ....
So it's over now? You're not meeting up with him any more? Probably for the better:
I know it is hard to let someone down but four years of chatting and occasional mild sexual contact? No big loss.
Why are you still going to see him if he's clearly rejected to you? You poured your heart out in the cringiest way possible, and he obviously doesn't reciprocate any of that.
Do you still not understand that you're just a potential fuck buddy to him? I highly doubt he's been sitting around waiting for you for 4 years.
miss is a pet name, given to someone you see as your "little sister" in a way. Not a girl that you'd want to date.
If you're in a relationship ALREADY, miss may be seen as a cute thing to call your SO, but not many people do that
He hasnt because he's gay. Look at the way he dresses. Look at the way he responds to you. He even dances jive. He's already given you a straight answer: he doesn't like you the same way you like him. You're just chasing a dream and wasting your time.
Yeah, if he still hesitates tell him something like "I do love you and I do want to be with you, but I can't bear you keeping me in the dark about this so I want you to answer me, yes or no". It's probable he'll answer "I have to think about it", tell him right away you're taking this as a no, that'll push him to explain himself.
Whatever the answer, it'll all be benefits for you, since that'll prove you actually have the balls to ask someone out
>if you wear a suit and dance ur gay
Why not? You've had a bf. I'm not sure I believe him or not but he's a least had sex, no fucking way he hasn't in four years. Maybe all that seemed kind of mean but missy and lovely thing I don't know they seem to be teasing more than endearing but maybe that's how it is over there in the US it's more baby and stuff like that.
this dude sounds like such a huge loser, holy shit.
>if he won't commit
There's nothing to commit to. There was never even a prospect of a relationship, just you desperately throwing yourself at him and still wanting him. Get over it already jesus fucking christ
Protip: men don't respond well to the mind games women play. It's very possible he hasn't caught on yet. Just be extremely direct to the point that there's no mistaking what you're trying to say.
>he's banging other chicks
>he's banging your mom
>he's banging your dad
>he's banging your siblings
>he's trans now
>he's gay now
>he's using you as an emotional tampon
>he's got a deathly std
>he's got the plague
Come on grill, he doesn't need you and you don't need to fly out to him if he doesn't want to see you.
These texts remind me of me and my bf when we were long distance friends. He was always cautious about us, redirected more direct questions about he felt, etc. He felt that it was pointless to even think about unless we lived near each other.
Everyone saying he's just stringing you along, but idk my bf and I are together IRL now. Maybe I just backed him into a corner until he passively accepted to date me. But there's a chance it'll be ok! He might just be nervous because you live in Paris, he in London, and it won't really work out unless one of you is willing to make a huge change for the other (and he clearly isn't).
>I'll delete his number ... I live in Paris now it's not like we would ever see each other again.
See how easy it is? How distant you are already? You can delete his number and he'd be more or less gone forever from your life.
Why would anyone want to express deeper feelings to that?
Your right ... I'm moving back to London in 4 months so maybe when I tell them that it will change his mind!
I love him I'd move anywhere for him if he just gave me a little commitment.
Hugs are perfect to position your prey to stab them in the back
I know your tricks woman, the fact that you already had sex with more than one person proves how """""""""loyal"""""""""" you are
Heyyyy.... I've only been with one guy... We were together for 3 years and he got addicted to Ex and completely changed.
I get why you're hesitat to believe there decent women out here... Most girls on 4chan are b tard sluts
Having a male commit is ensuring a suicide later on
If he really likes you, he'll orbit around but DO NOT force him, else he might leave
>Too late, the harm is already done
The only thing that will ever fuck you this hard is karma