For pretty much as long as I can remember, something has always felt off about me. I was never like the other people around me growing up, I never thought or acted like everyone else, I don't really know how to describe what's different but it's there, and now that I'm getting older and life's throwing more and more shit my way the more I notice something just..... not ok with me.
I'm tired of feeling like this, I have been for a while. The only reason I haven't looked for help sooner is because I figured "how can I get help if I can't even describe what's going on with me."
Feel free to ask me anything, there really isn't anything I'll be uncomfortable answering.
Well, we cannot help you if you wont make it more clear. What do you think isnt `okay`? Are you sad? More mature than others? Just a social outcast who prefers to sit at home than go socialize?
>Are you sad
I do feel like I'm a sadder person than I should be yes. But I think I feel shitty a lot because of whatever's "wrong" with me.
>Just a social outcast who prefers to sit at home than go socialize
I used to be really bad with this, now it just depends with my mood (but I guess that's normal).
I thought of a few more examples that could help.
I just can't approach women, like at all. I get extremely nervous and scared at the mere idea of it. For example:
>Go out to bar with friends last night
>Hotties everywhere, a few girls at a different table eyeing me up (according to a friend anyways)
>Couldn't bring myself to approach any of them, not even say hi or anything
>Ending up sitting with my friends hoping "the next drink" will be my liquid courage.
I always just get worried that ever reasonably attractive girl will consider me out of their league, especially if they appear to have an extremely active social life (It's really hard to explain, basically it just makes me feel like I have a lot to compete with).
My ex thinks I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I don't see how I can be narcissistic in any way if I assume the entire world around me is out of my league but here are her claims specifically.
>My sense of self-worth is way to high
>Feel absolutely devastated at the idea of having normal limitations
>Absolute lack of empathy for others
I'm not sure how accurate it is to how I really am (this is the first time I'm hearing it after all) and this conflicts with a lot of my personal observations of myself, but I suppose it's something to keep in mind.
This last one is a pretty big problem.... I just... can't figure out shit for myself. Not in terms of school or education (always done pretty well in school), more-so life challenges. The moment things don't start going my way I lose all sense of myself and my brain just freezes. I've become reliant on others to figure out my life because of it (pretty much what I'm doing right now).
for example, I feel into a deep deep depression after my first serious relationship ended because I just couldn't move on, I tried and tried but every day felt just like the day she left. It got so bad all my friends refused to talk about her with me because it got to the point where they had nothing else to say. I just couldn't figured out how to ease my pain so I had to live with it for way too long.
This isn't everything, it goes so much deeper, however this really is the only shit I know how to put into words as of right now. Actually having something to go off of for once feels amazing though..
Sounds a lot like autism to me.
I'm not trying to insult either, it legitimately sounds like you might have autism.
Either that or you have depression, social anxiety, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and ADD all at the same time.
Which sounds more likely anon?
Congratulations! You are officially normal.
Absolutely EVERYONE feels like that, at least some of the time. Mainly that's because we ARE all different, and trying to measure yourself by others never works.
Instead ofbeing bothered by whatever sets you apart, embrace it. It is who you are.
But besides, best advice i can give you is stop being so full of yourself. If you think being like this alright, just be it, if it starts to bother you muster up and socialize you puss, works like a charm. Find yourself something that you want to do and work hard to be able to do it in the future aswell. If you have problems with confidence, greet strangers, start casual talks on bus stops, try taking control in group projects, shit like that. I also had troubles with making decisions. Now i figured out where i want to go in college and what i want to do with my life.
You ex isn't exactly the most reliable source to tell you things that are wrong with you, but assuming she isn't full of shit (she most likely is) this entire post is pretty easy to sum up.
You have no self-confidence among strangers but you have to much self-confidence around people you know
>You didn't know how to deal with something the first time dealing with it.
If anything, you have issues with letting go.
Already in college for programming so there's my "future" right there.
In all honesty, no I don't think the way I am is "alright" far from it. I want to spend my young adult life living life to it's fullest, doing so much crazy shit, it's what I've wanted since Is started highschool, my last relationship failed pretty much because of this desire exclusively. As it stands I just don't have the social skills or the confidence to live that way. Not necessary to go out party, do a bunch of drugs, fuck girls (although that'll probably happen a lot to). I want to go out, try new things, meet interesting people, all that fun soul searching shit too.
>greet strangers, start casual talks on bus stops, try taking control in group projects, shit like that.
Honestly not bad advice.
>Keep going to bars until you find a girl who can't keep her eyes off you
>Once this happens, go to the dance floor, but take a route that passes her table
>As you walk past her, grab her by the hand and take her with
You'll feel so smooth and confident after that you'll never have an issue approaching women again
My advices are always good anon.
Unless she turns out to be some chads gf, or you spill spaghetti and trip over your own feets. But try your best.
I had confidence problems back in the day. You know what helped me? Laugh all you want. I made guild in wow and became raid leader. Me and some strangers started talking on teamspeak or skype and i turned out not so much beta, but before i was afraid to open my mouth to anybody. Then i moved to real life with more confidence and did basically what i told you to. Holy shit that sounds cringy, i swear i wasnt a neckbeard.
Also, too clarify I'm not some friendless loser who sits around at home all day. I probably have a lot more friends that you think I do. I'm not terrible with people, my biggest issue is mustering up the confidense to say hi
Zoz, why try to impersonate me? I already admitted that was cringy and pathetic, but shit helped me to function normally in society, now i dont even play vidya, well done >>16887382
>Go into bar, party, whatever
>Find a reasonably attractive girl, but make sure she's unattractive enough that you couldn't give a shit if you fuck things up with her
>Talk to her, say/do something stupid on purpose and just go back to your friends after
Obviously your biggest fear in this area is getting rejected/screwing up/embarassing yourself, getting it out of the way will show you it just isn't a big deal.
I'm not going to touch on what your ex said, something about that seems fucked
As for never knowing what to do you're way to hard on yourself, but if you want to improve on that start with trying to solve brain teasers or logic puzzles, they should help develop your problem solving skills