So my girlfriend said she was considering getting another piercing some time soon, which I thought was alright but I really don't like piercings. Much to my dismay, she's considering getting a smiley, which goes in that little flap of skin between your upper lip and gums and can be seen whenever your mouth is open. I made it clear to her that I really don't like it. I don't want to look at it, and I really don't want to feel it when I kiss her. She doesn't want to upset me and said she'd even take it out when she's around me. Am I being an oversensitive pussy about this or would a smiley really be dumb?
You can't temporarily take out piercings (especially those in your mouth), unless you want infections and/or repierce it every day. If she wants it she should get it, it's her body. You can dislike it, she probably also has small things she doesn't like about your appearance. As long as you don't leave her over this or make it matter too much, you aren't being an oversensitive pussy.
Fair enough. To be honest though, I'm a bit concerned about being intimate with her if she has a smiley. It's not like a nose piercing or something, it's dangling right in front of your teeth. It would be impossible to avoid touching it one way or another.
I mean, it's a bit distracting. I already don't like how it looks, and being physically reminded of that by clicking my teeth against a little piece of metal every time I want to kiss my girlfriend kind of sucks, in my mind.
After getting to know her, I'd have to say she falls in the very rare 1% of girls that get piercings and aren't attention whores. That being said, I still don't really like the idea of a smiley. I just don't want to sound like an asshole, since commenting on the piercing is directly commenting on her appearance.
Although I don't like them, I could put up with one or two minor piercings on a gf, as long as they were in at least semi normal/decent places (belly, nose, maybe eyebrow) but in her mouth? Fuck that. In my book that is a good a reason as any to break up.
If you do really like her op, then strongly tell her not to have it done.
Right, but, as others have said, how am I supposed to tell someone what to do with their body? I feel like it's one of the most insulting things you can request of someone, so I'm between a rock and a hard place.
I think it's a bit different to telling someone what to do with their body.
You have a right to express your opinions on what she looks like. If she got morbidly fat would you leave her? If she got a swastika tattooed on her forehead would you leave her? Don't feel bad for saying 'I wouldn't like it if you had X done,' that is what relationships are all about.
IMHO piercings and tats on a woman are a sign of mental issues of some sort, same as wacky coloured hair. Hell, piercings on men are a sign of issues and tats are reserved for those that earned them (special forces, sailors, prisoners, gang members). Then again, my parents didn't bring me up thinking that I'm a special and unique individual and a snowflake.
>Am I being an oversensitive pussy about this or would a smiley really be dumb?
Yes, a smiley would be dumb.
>tats aren't a sign of mental issues if you "earn them"
>you can earn them by being a gang member
>gang members are happy and mentally stable, productive members of society
>unlike those freaks who get tattoos just because they like them
Why, though? I really just don't understand the appeal of stuff like this. A piercing inside your mouth would just be distracting, impractical, high-maintenance... I'm imagining that it's going to affect her speech, it's gonna constantly get food caught in it, probably get infected a few times... ugh.
It's possible to earn something by being a piece of shit. You're injecting positive connotations into that word when he means it in a neutral sense. As in they have earned them by not being functioning members of society.
I had a similar issue with my ex gf. She wanted to get one of those nose rings that pierce the cartilage in between your nostrils, like a bull. I told her I thought it looked awful, and while I wasn't going to tell her what she can and can't do, I would really prefer if she didn't get it.
We broke up a few months after that. Not over the piercing (which she didn't end up getting, iirc), but because we had deeper issues and this was just one of the many ways we were incompatible. I thought piercings and tattoos were really fucking dumb, and she felt like she was "expressing herself". I eventually came to realize that I was with her to get laid, not because I loved her.
There are two things I take away from that experience: 1. It's not my place to try and stop a girl from doing what she wants with her body. 2. Trivial issues can often be rooted in deeper, more serious issues. Your brain can say "this is so dumb, why do I even care?" all it wants, but if you're feeling that way about it, and rationalizing doesn't make that feeling go away, then the trivial issue is just the tip of the iceberg.
This may or may not apply to you. I'm just sharing my own experience. If it helps, I'm much happier after breaking up with her, and it was absolutely the right decision. Also, I stopped hating nipple piercings after we broke up. I hated hers when we were together, but now I think they're hot. I don't get it, but it's a net positive, so whatever.