Ive been reading about bpd and reactive attachment disorder (rad). Think of rad as what a childs version of bpd before becoming adults to be ultimately diagnosed with bpd.
As serious a condition it is, i admire the level of confidence these people have. ive read that your self confidence makes you highly attractive to other people.
Tell me what is it like to have that level of confidence and where does it come from?
I have BPD. I had a father who put me down constantly because I was female. And he hated me because I looked like his mother. I was sensitive and he tried to desensitize me and it didn't work. My famiily tried to keep me a child so I would stay with them.
I have no confidence in myself. Every waking moment is yearning and searching for the love my father never gave me and never findng it.
However, I am somewhat social, in an odd way. I like to perform music. I am very comfortable and I slay on the mike. But I'm very very awkward at bars I look in the mirror and I see my father's face and eyes and I'm so ugly to me. But people have been drawn to me my whole life. People have been trying to fuck me my whole life.
As someone who works with ACTUAL people with BPD, I don't understand what you mean at all by level of confidence. I imagine if people are living fairly normal lives, and have some of the conglomeration of symptoms that make up BPD (which is essentially what it is, a combination of things) then they either have it VERY mildly or it has been misdiagnosed (which happens all the time). People that actually have BPD are a nightmare to be around and in my experience don't show confidence in themselves or others in any way.
My wife has bpd so I guess I can help here:
I think OP doesn't really mean confidence but rather attractiveness. BPs can seem confident but it's usually just masquerade.
That's bs. People are attracted to exciting people. The self destructive tendencies of BPs makes them exciting people to be around.
Op here, cmon man youre probably going to be the most knowledgable person in this whole thread before it archives and you give me a short description? I really want to know what theyre like and why theyre so confident/attractive? So do they not seem confident to you? How did you initially fall for their attractiveness?
>Tfw i literally dont know how to be spontaneous the same way bpd dont know how to regulate their fears of abandonment. You remember Ned Flanders from the simpsons when he tried to be cool? Thats kind of like me. Im straight and a socially appropriate/composed/boring/whatever you want to call it person and after reading about bpd i thought 'i want some of that' not the whole package, but the positives of bpd without the negatives
Being adventurous/spontaneous/confident is piss easy. The first two is exactly like the yes man. Just do whatever shit you possibly can if its in front of you. As for confidence, you just need to not give a shit what anyone thinks. Not pretend it, genuinely not give a shit. Not is in "fuck everyone" but in "I don't really care if someone thinks I look stupid, or thinks bad of me, that shit don't matter, I want to do this/speak to this girl and I'm damn well doing it"
I have INFINITE energy. That's why people be trying to STEAL THAT SHIT from me. They jealous cos they don't have what I have. People love me. I can bring people to me like *snap* SHIT I'm old as fuck now but I still get play. Jealous much? I'd post a pic but my shrink told me not to. He told me to stop coming on this site, too but I'm addicted.
Don't you wish you were me? I bet you'd love to have a guy half your age begging you to let him eat your pussy. Happens constantly to me and I ain't lying. I don't even gotta TRY. And I love being able to tell him no.
I wasnt officialy diagnosed because I didnt really care but my psychiatrist and parents are sure I have it. So anyway
The confidence is false. The second anything happens to undermine that confidence, bpd people feel fear and worthlessness come crashing down. So a lot of them will simply refuse to acknowledge the thing that undermines their confidence. You get false confidence by being impulsive and rash. Tell yourself you are great and ignore everything that disclaims it. Do a lot of drugs and alcohol which impair your judgement and raise your 'confidence'. Most people cant tell it is false confidence. I had guys swarming over me. I did drugs, knew people, believed I was hot shit. Fyi the guys who swarmed always had shit tons of issues. The smart guys, the intelligent stable ones, stayed away because while they might be caught in it too, they could recognize it was a house of cards
Unfortunately for them I attract plenty of smart, intelligent and stable guys. Hell I've been married for 10 years. I'm more intelligent than most women and that's what keeps them coming back. Good guys like bad girls and versa visa.