>>16885678 no, just because you're not the jealous type doesn't give her free reign to talk about how hot other guys are. I see it as blatantly disrespectful of course you could always go the other way and talk about how hot other girls are so she understand how it feels source: i had to do this and yes she was crazy
you're uncomfortable because you see her stating other people being attractive as her saying you're not as attractive to her. i get that it bothers you because it used to bother me too but at the base of it all, it's insecurity. that's something you've gotta come to terms with and talk to her about it.
>>16885701 She talks about theoretically dating other people a lot, and doesn't talk about me being attractive as much as she talks about other people being attractive. On the other hand, she tells me she loves me a lot etc.
>>16885775 This is a sensible and fair post, though frankly, in this specific case, if she's talking about how hot other men are significantly more often than she compliments her actual boyfriend, that's kind of shitty of her regardless of which camp she falls into. I don't think most members of the first group would claim praising others above your SO was appropriate behavior.
I do this sometimes, mostly because I'm a human and am still capable of finding other people hot even when I'm in a relationship, but also a little bit as a defense mechanism to try and act like I'm not 100% fully devoted to the relationship. I know it's shitty but I'm always a little afraid of being way more into my partner than they're into me. So it's my shitty way of being like "yeah I still think of other people like that, what're you gonna do?" And I think the best response to that is just realizing it's fine to find other people hot, just chill out and trust that your girlfriend still thinks you're attractive and obviously chose you out of everyone to be with.
I always had this problem with my wife's son. We'd be in the living room watching a film or just having dinner, when suddenly he'd make a comment about my appearance or that of Jason (her lover). Even though I'm happy in this relationship and we both feel more fulfilled for it, sometimes I can't help but feel demeaned by his words. It creates a line of thinking in my mind, of insecurity and discomfort that otherwise wouldn't be there.
I'd suggest talking to your girlfriend and asking her not to compare you to others, implicitly or otherwise.
Are you present when she has sex with these other men? You may very well find it comforts you to be involved, or even arousing.
>>16885659 It's normal to look at other people and find them attractive if they are attractive. However, that doesn't mean it's normal to state such a thing to your partner. I'm a firm believer in being honest and speaking your mind about things. But there are certain things that it's generally better to avoid saying. For example, your GF is looking podgy today, you don't just blurt it out just because it's speaking your mind/honestly what you think. Or someone is annoying you who's your friend, you don't just blurt out "shut the fuck up man your shit is annoying me".
Everyone knows that their partner might find other people attractive. But voicing it, especially if its their/your friends/family/people they work with/go to school or uni with it's completely odd. Movie stars/musicians? Yeah, sure. That shits normal. Talking about how your co-worker is hot to your partner? Over the line.
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