Have you guys ever felt powerless? Like for example you're a victim of a bully or someone throws a sucker punch at you and you can't fight back. Do you ever just feel weaker than the person who is targeting you?
How do you deal with that kind of situation? For example, today some guy tried to rear end me because he was going over the speed limit before he noticed there was a stop light ahead. He was in the wrong, had to brake hard enough to avoid hitting me. But he was upset at me and when the light turned green he cut me off and gave me the finger. Of course I was upset because I had done nothing wrong and I coulnd't really do anything about it because it happened so fast. How am I suppose to process these emotions? I feel angry and powerless because I couldn't do anything about it.
Some people are just assholes. What could you have done, if you'd been bigger and stronger? The situation doesn't merit violence, it wouldn't make sense to chase him down and confront him. It was just a stupid asshole being a stupid asshole. It never feels good, but you should be angry at him, not feeling inadequate with yourself.
there are always going to be assholes, its a sad fact of life
This was just an asshole being an asshole, don't think too much about it. He didn't scratch the paint and you'll never see him again so who cares.
Yeah, but I was upset and a little angry because he was in the wrong, yet he's road raging at me.
I'm just worried if this ever happens again and it is a real auto accident, I might have to confront someone that intimidating (for insurance and info etc.) . I don't have nerves of steel or have the right size to seem like a formidable opponent.
To be honest, I was scared. I was scared this guy was gonna follow my car for a bit and start something. I just wish I was strong enough to hold my ground but I don't know how to be that.
if it really scares you that much that you feel you can't defend yourself from someone then get a gun, its literally what concealed carry is for
However what you're scared about isn't really realistic, some people get pissed off when near misses happen but accidents are a whole different ball game. The damage to your vehicle speaks for itself and you don't even have to get out of the car, you could just wait in there and say you're in pain and firefighters/EMTs will come and get you out of the car, its a good way to set up for a civil suit.
I wouldn't really recommend carrying a lethal weapon if you're the nervous type. But some kind of self-defense class might be a great thing for you, maybe pepper spray or a taser for the worst-case scenarios.
You'll feel better if you've got a "backup," but you can get through most conflicts by keeping your calm, speaking clearly, and acting as if violence isn't a possibility until you're actually threatened.
Oh heck no, I wouldn't sort to violence. I want it to be clear, I don't believe in violence. I just want to be able to hold my ground. I want o be in the position where the guy DOESN'T think "this guy is a whelp/pussy/wimp, I can intimidate him.".
That's one thing I wish I was better at. I don't think I could speak in a calm, clear voice. I'm sure I'd be shakey, quiet and teary eyed. I don't know how t be composed.
I guess what I want is to how NOT to come off as a pussy.
Well, have you experienced a lot of conflict in your life? I find that it's a skill that takes practice like any other. Once you realize that it isn't really the end of the world to confront someone, get yelled at, etc, you might feel less nervous about the idea of a similar situation coming up.
But this is also where some kind of physical self-defense training might help you as well. Not with the intention of actually using what you've learned to fight people, but you'd feel safer standing up for yourself verbally if you had more confidence that you could handle yourself in a worst-case scenario.
There might also be some kind of class or course or therapy for non-violent conflict mediation, as well. You're certainly not alone in having thoughts like this, so maybe it's time to start looking into potential solutions.
Thank you, I'm glad you said I"m not alone feeling like this. Helpless, weak, threatened. I'm not a person who likes dealing with confrontation. I tend to be very lax and don't get mad at a lot of things. But when someone is coming at me, angry and red in the face I don't know what to do. And you can't really practice what to do in that situation because you can't force it. That's why I didn't chase the guy down or throw him back a middle finger. I just let it go because I knew he was being stupid, but at the same time I just feared what would happen if it actually went further than a gross exchange of body language.
I am hitting the gym. Too bad that doesn't increase height though.
Most intimidating guy I met was 5'8", a full two inches shorter than me. He also could bend rebar into horseshoe shapes, played rugby, and worked security at the local strip joint. Height means shit. You gotta get some masive guns, then stand on that. Not too many people like fucking with gym rats.
>Most intimidating guy I met was 5'8"
I laughed out loud
Dude, I'm gonna guess half your problem is you have a horrible self image.
>I'm too short
>I have a baby face
Find some creative avenue to push yourself towards. Get really good at it (or a lot better than you used to be), and never stop practicing it. Eventually, lo and behold, you'll find yourself a little more confident in the rest of your life.
No offense to you, but this is what I'm afraid of eventually. One day I'll have loved ones I can't really stand up for. I need to get stronger now so I can stick up for my loved ones and myself. It's a responsibility of being a man, which is why I see myself as just a kid still because I can't take that responsibility yet.
I'm a former Marine with a couple deployments on my 214. I could have easily beaten him to death but then I'd be in jail for the next 15-20 years.
Life isn't an anime. You can't go around attacking people because they offended your honor or some such shit.
Don't listen to anyone in this thread
Go to your closest Gracie BJJ gym and start training
It's a martial art literally designed for little guys to beat bigger guys
I guarantee you will have more confidence
Okay, I think people aren't understanding the point of this thread. I want to be able to have a firm composure in a confrontation, where I won't be seen easy to be taken advantage of.
I don't want to fight, I don't want revenge, I just want to be able to be calm, have a cool head under pressure, and appear confident in a rough situation. I just want to feel safe.
Also sir, thank you for serving our country.
Oh I understand. I'm just clarifying that there is nothing I could have done to help my wife, not that I was afraid to help her. She went to HR like you're supposed to.
I agree with this. Perhaps learning some sort of self defense system will help increase your confidence when speaking with people in tense situations.