The Normies Guide to Success
So I've been having this urge in my brain pushing me to write this for my fellow robots and failed normies for awhile now. I can no longer put it off.
I'm hoping someone can take my advice and help their life.
I'm an old fag (30's) and a lot of this comes from my personal experiences. Other stuff comes from things I've seen with my friends and people I know.
This guide is mostly about obtaining a gf since that seems to be whats mostly talked about here. My thoughts are kinda sporadic and random, and may bounce around. I will try to touch on many subjects that I see discussed here.
Getting a gril - Before some of the more butthurt guys chime in with "huh I dont want a vapid cunt", I think we should realize there is nothing wrong with craving companionship. We are hard wired through biology to want to be loved and nurtured. When we dont get this, depression can and will happen. Regardless of what others may say like the above butthurt guys quote. Or with the ones who say "You gotta be happy with yourself first". These are false statements. As a lot of our self worth and happiness stem from what a significant other thinks of us.
Girls are mysterious creatures. They are random in their desires and are much like a Rubik's Cube or a puzzle. Very frustrating in trying to piece together, but very satisfying when you find the last piece to one. But girls like guys, are ever growing and changing. Women in general will be a mystery from month to month or year to year. Some dont change for years. But they will change. Not that is necessarily bad, as all people change over time.
What attracts girls? - In no particular order : looks, status, goals, social skills, other girls
I'll start with looks since every robot is stuck on that.
Robots like to say Chad this Chad that. But the truth is far more complex than that. First of all, lets throw Chad out the window. He is nothing more than the /r9k/ booogie man. He scares you back into your bedroom and gives you an excuse to give up.
A hot looking guy is great for that guy and for the girls that chase him. Fortunately for us, most guys are normies...hence the word. I see plenty of Stacies (9/10) but I'm not stuck on getting one when i could have a more normal girl. It doesnt mean I settled for less or that she is my 2nd choice. Likewise with girls and their selection. Don't feel like your 2nd choice. This is because of your low self esteem.
When it comes to looks, women need them more than men. They have to work much harder for it because it's all they have. Men have other options of attraction, which I'll get to later. Also, men age better than women.
But it's important to remember, as insecure as you may be; women on the average will be a hell of a lot more insecure than the average man. And that's because of the simple reason I mentioned before, women need their looks more than men.
Being attractive - Really the one super important key to being attractive is really pretty simple. Hygiene. Women strive to be sexy. Men only need to strive to be "not ugly or disgusting". Hygiene goes miles in this.
Keys to hygiene - Take a bath every day. Wash your hair a few times a week. Brush your teeth twice a day. Wear deodorant. Have clean fingernails. Have a nice smelling cologne. It's unfortunate that these things should even have to be mentioned, but sadly it needs to be said.
Having good hygiene will start you off as a solid 5 and put you in normie territory. Unless you have a facial deformity or just plain obese, then you have more to overcome. But considering lots of guys fail at hygiene, having it will put you ahead of a lot of the competition.
/fitness/ - Exercise is great for you and is encouraged. You will see many posters claim it is an end all for getting a girl. What fit geeks fail to realize is you still need social skills to succeed with women, which we will cover later. I love /fit/ but lots of them take the woman mentality of "I'm hot, come talk to me", when 1000's of years of social rules dictate that men must go talk to women. Also, no woman wants a man who is more prissy than them.
But what fitness does is give you a better body and gives you more confidence. Plus it releases "feel good" chemicals in your head which in turn, makes you more pleasurable to be around...unless you're a roid head.
Most fitness regimens recommend 3 days of lifting and 3 days of cardio. Many fit bros will swear how much they love lifting. Unfortunately it's not that glamorous for most. If you stick at it for more than a couple of months, then you will start to notice gains which will encourage you to keep going. But getting your pump on, or getting excited for the gym is a misconception...unless you're addicted to working out. Most just wanna get in there, do their regiment and go home and relax.
Cardio is great for your heart and while not for building mass, is perfect for becoming ottermode. Ottermode is nothing more than having a low body fat content. And it is the #1 preferred body for women according to numerous studies. This falls in the 9-15% body fat range. It's hard to get to, but again it's easier for men. Just eat healthier and work out. And pick some type of regiment and stick to it.
If you can't achieve ottermode, don't fret. As I've said before, it's more important for women to be attractive and fit than it is for men. Men at the minimum must strive to be "not fat" or "not super skinny". Exercise will achieve this, while also giving you a goal; which is another attractive quality.
I will stress though...that you should really work out for yourself and your health...and not for girls. And fitness should be part of your daily life. Not a short term goal.
Dressing properly is another thing robots can do to help their looks. Dressing right (which usually has more to do with fit than anything else) can help tremendously. I would say it's even more important than fitness (not for health obviously) in becoming more attractive. Being fit is great (as mentioned above) but if you dress like a pleb, your chances drastically decrease. Whereas you can have a whole lot more leeway in having a bad body, if you dress well. Of course you're best game lies in having a good body and dressing well and having good hygiene.
You should go read more about fashion on /fa/ and tuxbell. If you don't want to go there, then try to stick to a few points. Slim fit should always be what you buy when it comes to shirts. If it is too tight, buy up a size and still get slim fit. Shirts should be you're go to when you're trying to look your best. Polos are great for warmer weather. Everyone looks ok in t-shirts, but not great. Dont buy Pokemon or Vidya shirts. T-shirts with no graphics are better.
Pants - Try to wear Chinos (slim fit). A couple good pairs of jeans and at least one pair of charcoal slacks.
Where /fa/ fails is they sometimes believe the best clothes are the most expensive. This creeps in to "Status" territory which I'll cover later. Dont' worry about name brand. But clothes that fit and look good. You can find good shirts on Uniqlo.
Jeans and shoes are the only thing you should feel alright when splurging on. Even then, no girl gives a shit about your 200 dollar jeans.
Color in shirts should be somewhat tame. Blue and white are great, stay away from black. Polos and tees you have more range. Darker hair give you a wider color spectrum. Lighter hair gives you a smaller spectrum.
As I said before, don't waste money on name brand or shit /fa/ recommends. Instead try to buy one shirt or polo or t-shirt a month to go with some pants you have. Or buy 1 pair of pants a month. Just always try to expand your wardrobe at least once a month. This will let you experiment with colors and styles without wasting a shit ton of money.
TL,DR on looks - Have good hygiene. Don't be fat. Exercise. Dress well.
Status - Lots of guys think status means wealth. It doesn't. Having money always equals status. But having status doesn't always mean having money.
I'll give an example. A police officer in a huge city is just a police officer. Some women like the uniform, but that doesn't mean he has status. Now lets take small town. A town with a 1,000 people or so. And maybe a a few officers or deputies to work the whole town. An officer in that situation has status. Because he is well known as one of the "cops" that work a whole town of people. It means almost everyone in town has at least heard of him. And lots of people will know him. This makes him seem more important. This is why there is so many "badge bunnies" in small towns.
Status is the hardest thing to get on this list. Money is the easiest way to get it, but money is not easy to get. There are other ways such as the above. If you're in a smaller populated area, it's easier to gain status. Even drug dealers have status, even if he is a shit head. He still has the bad boy status. Whereas no girl is going to care if you are the best MTG player in your local area.
I always think back to the screenshot that gets posted about the guy who tried become "The Gum Guy" at his school. He would carry around gum all the time and give it out to kids because he was trying to create a reputation for himself. Although that story is cringeworthy, he had the right idea.
Being known for something, or the go to guy in your local area creates status. Of course, being a lawyer or Dr. is preferred, but those are most likely not going to happen. And by the way, I am in now way encouraging you to be a drug dealer. Screw that. But try to find something your good at, or a popular hobby, or anything really that you can use to become more popular. You want to find a popular social circle and become the staple of that circle.
Easier said than done I know. But even becoming the knowledgeable staple at your local lounge or coffee shop is a start.
Goals - The easiest of things to achieve in this list.
Having goals are so important when it comes to attracting women. It shows that your life and plans do not revolve around them. That you're gonna be just fine regardless of if she is in your life or not. Besides, women like drive.
The goal is not that important, but it should be something with real benefits. Beating a video game or rustling jimmies on 4chan doesn't count.
Little things like saving money for a home even. Learning to play an instrument (guitar especially). Learning a language. Becoming a great cook. Learning carpentry. Practicing a trade skill.
Find something you want to learn or become better at and spend lots of time on it. Women are drawn to this drive.
Social skills - The one area that can propel normies or can even destroy chads. Social skills. Social skills are mainly just talking, having manners, having charisma, being interesting etc.
This is why you see so many average looking guys that have hot women always talk shit. They are fun, extroverted, have the gift of gab and normally just fun people to be around. Lack of social skills is what can cost the better looking guys from having some of hottest girls.
Example : I have a friend that is a good looking guy. Hell, I would even say when he used to work out he was Chad-esque. But he has terrible social skills. When he was single, I would tell him all the time he could nail tons of hot girls. In fact, there was a time a really pretty girl wanted him bad and he wouldn't go out with her. He told me it was cause he wasn't interested because he was too busy, or something to that effect. I think it's cause he knew deep down his social skills are God awful terrible. I think he knew he had no idea what to say to her. He had no idea how a date would go. He had no idea to approach the situation. So he let her pass on by.
He eventually ended up dating and marrying a girl he was far more attractive than. I think she fit him because he was so insecure in himself and in turn, his social skills. As he's been married for awhile, I think he's realized his attraction now and realizes he could have done a lot better and it depresses him.
So long story short, social skills can make or break you.
How do you sharpen social skills? Talk! Talk to a lot of people. Talk to girls mainly though. You don't even have to approach strangers. Practice at stores. Cashiers are paid to check your groceries out plus make small talk. These girls have to talk to you. Always take advantage of that. Start small about weather talk, how your day is etc. Gradually work up to flirting etc.
Finally, I come to the last part...other girls. I said in the first part that these 4 things were in no particular order. While that's true, I would say the most important attractive thing you can have to a girl, is other girls finding you attractive.
It's somewhat ironic (and cruel) that you will get 10X more opportunities when you have a gf vs. being single. But why? Are women really
that petty and conniving? Not really.
The answer lies more in competition and the belief that if Guy A is good enough for Girl A, then he is good enough for Girl B. Also, girls have a limited time to find a man they believe will be good enough to have a family with. If Girl B sees Girl A as inferior or equal value to herself (looks wise), and sees Girl A happy with Guy A; she knows Guy A is BF/husband/family material. This makes things easier for Girl B because she does not have to waste time with a guy that might not be husband/family material. Girl A invests all her time and effort only to possibly lose Guy A to Girl B.
This is why committed guys are so much more attractive to girls.
This is also very exploitable by men if your cards are played right. No hot girl is likely to be interested in you just because some chubby frumpy 5 is your gf. But you can work your way up.
For example, I used to play a lot of video games when I was younger. I especially loved sports games. But back then, (maybe now) sports games trading system were usually broken.
Let's say we are playing one of the older baseball games. One exploit within the trading system was to take a player, lets say your pitcher. He has an overall rating of 86. Now the game will let you trade for anyone 86 and under. But no team will trade you a player that rates 90 overall. But most of the time, teams will trade you a player that is 87 overall.
Now you just upgraded your pitcher to 87 overall. Now you turn around and trade that pitcher for a pitcher that is 88 overall. Then 89 etc.
After numerous trades and a long time later, you have one of the best teams in the league.
Dating up is not all that different. If you start dating a normal looking girl, you're social circle widens with her friends. And her friend's friends. Being seen with an average looking girl will make other average looking and above average looking girls take notice. Then it just becomes you taking a jump at one of them.
Girls DO NOT CARE to fuck their friends over and will do it in a heartbeat if they think they can steal their guy. In fact most girls will be more loyal and treat you better if she goes through the fight to get you.
After you get to meet the above average girls friends, you will meet more above average girls and then pretty girls etc. The same thing happens again. You're social circle widens. More women want you because they see you are done broken in and you are good husband material.
At this time you should have a few girls in your circle that are wanting to hook up with you when you make the action to show you are interested. It's important to keep at least 1 or 2 girls in your circle that you could go to if things fall through for you with your current girl. I don't advocate "plate spinning" as a way of playing multiple girls. But I advocate having options for 2 reasons. 1. Most times your girl will be able to pick up if other women are interested in you. If she suspects 1 or 2 girls of her value or better are interested in you, she will do everything to keep you happy. 2. If you lose your girl and have none on the back burner, you will almost assuredly have to completely start over. You lose most of your value once you become single. You have to rebuild your social circles. Meet substandard girls. Go through all that shit to get back up to where you once where. it's so much easier to just have a backup plan in place to jump to. A break glass in case of emergency vagina. So many women do this with guys and for good reason. You should adapt and have the same plan.
That's all as far as attraction goes. I do have a few other subjects I wanted to touch on that will be completely random and short.
PUA meme - I don't really believe in pickup artist myself. Most women are just not going to turn over their contact info over that fast for fear of looking like a slut. It's more important to build chemistry with a girl over talking a few times and then asking as opposed to asking random women on the street for their number. I think most youtube PUA have been proved to sketched at this point anyways. If you run into a girl you're interested in, but fear you will never see her again; ask for contact info then. But if you can, wait until you talk a few times, or at least talk for more than 10-15 minutes before asking.
Girls are resource vampires meme - This is true...but not in the way you think. Women do want a man with resources. Women do want to use those resources. But not out of greed. Almost all women want a baby or two. If they dont, they are inherently fucked up and you shouldn't date them. Smart women will want a man that can take care of a family. There is nothing wrong with this. If a woman wants your resources for selfish reasons, then dont waste your time.
MGTOW meme - Great, all America needs; another special interest group. MGTOW do have a few good points that I agree with. But for the most part, they are worst than feminism. MGTOW was started by bitter men that lost a lot in a divorce. I hate that for them because divorce in America greatly fucks over men. But in their quest for revenge, their movement picked up many young frustrated virgins whose only interaction with women was imagined conversations with 2D anime girls. These young men look for an outlet and believe joining a meme movement will help their cause. It doesn't. And any "success" from MGTOW is greatly exaggerated or in most cases just made up stories. A way to blow off steam. A way to have purpose and reason. To show the guys on a hate filled board that you are ahead of the curve. There is a reason you never see pics of MGTOW and it's not cause they're scared of retribution. I also suspect that a lot of MGTOW users are really pro homosexual movement SJW. Not that I am anti-homosexual, but I am anti-homosexual movements to destabilize the nuclear family. And if you read homo propaganda about "breeders", you will notice striking similarities in what they speak and MGTOW speak.
All women are feminists meme - This one is very false. Most women loathe this shit. In fact, if you asked most women; I believe they would prefer to be a stay at home wife and mother. But they have been brought up to feel guilty (from feminists) that women shouldn't want to stay home. Even with that, it's hard for 1 income to support a family nowadays. But most women still want to be that traditional wife. Dont listen to the doubters
Manlet meme - This one I hesitate to even mention since it brings much ire. I am not going to disagree with the statistics that being shorter doesn't cut down your dating pool. But even with a decreased dating pool, there are still tons of girls shorter than you. Most girls on the average will still be shorter than the guy who is short.
First girls are shit with measurements. Girls mainly just want a guy that is taller than them. 1-3 inches is perfect. With even height being the minimum. As long as you are not shorter, they don't really care that much. It's a bigger deal in manlets heads than it is womens.
Chad meme - Chad doesn't exist. Chad is a monster living in your head. Hot guys just have it easier, but that doesnt mean they are waiting behind every corner waiting to fuck your life up.
Bar/club meme - It's always beneficial to go to the "local watering hole", but contrary to what the TV tells you; most substantial relationships dont start at the bar. The majority of relationships are still started through friends and your social circle. So going to the club/bar/etc is important only to widen your social circle.
Be yourself meme - This one is made fun of all the time, but it's true. But not for the reason you think. When you "be yourself", you are 100% confident...which is very attractive. You can never be confident when you have to pretend to be something your not.
Thats all I got for now. I know it's long winded but I really hope it can help someone out. Like i said, I've felt this urge to type this out.
I'd like to post again about how to keep a gf. But I think this is enough for tonight.
Hope this can help someone. Thanks friends
Thank you, but there are contradictory things like
>When you "be yourself", you are 100% confident...which is very attractive. You can never be confident when you have to pretend to be something your not.
Being funny, outgoing, charismatic, etc. is considered to be very attractive, however, you can't force these things with being confident simultaneously. You'll be, basically, exchanged for someone who is better for traits you can't fake.
Dude thank you so much for this. I've begun to realize things like this myself as I've put myself out there more and I learned a lot from your posts. Personal experience definitely has a lot of value when it comes to these things so its great you have some input
Are you seriously expecting anyone to read all that shit m7?
>everything in your life should be geared towards making you attractive to women, everything you do only matters in how it makes you look to the opposite sex