Yesterday I decided I was finally, actually going to commit suicide. I wrote my suicide note, I set my alarm to go off at 2AM - when my parents would have been fast asleep - tidied my room, and stashed my spare house key in my pocket. My alarm never went off, though. And now I'm here, living the day I shouldn't be alive for, with absolutely no idea what to do next. My alarm never went off. Does that mean anything? Where do I go from here?
Everyone is committing suicide. Every day.
They just don't have the bravery or unmitigated gall to realize life is ticking away. They are afraid and hide from it until they reach a point in their lives they realize every day they go to sleep they might not wake up and become afraid of going to bed.
Some people commit suicide with a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain at hand.
Some people commit suicide working a job for 40 years for idiots not making any real money.
Now there's being willing to end it because you have unresolvable problems. And maybe that's true. After-all, there can only be so many paraplegic midget pep talkers in the world.
And then there are the resolvable problems you think are not resolvable.
The key here is to figure out which ones you are doing wrong, think through an approach, and commit suicide by trying to do it right.
E.G. I used to be terrified of going to the grocery store to buy food as I had bad Xenophobia. Then one day I realized, nobody else felt that way, and started to laugh. Took about 5 years for the terror of going to the store to rescind to a dislike and eventually, today, I look forward to buying tasty treats and making people laugh.
Look at this as an opportunity to get really, really good at risk taking and setting up approaches right.
You aren't the very imaginative sort, are you?
I have a 160ish IQ.
I view the general public as my play thing, but try not to be cruel with it. You can get normally stupid people to do wondrous things with the right input.
In my experience I've found that everything happens for a reason.
I would take the day to re-evaluate. I'd ask myself if the circumstances I face, that would drive me to suicide, are permanent. If I came to the conclusion that my circumstances are permanent, I'd ask myself "can i know if thats true"; and I mean true beyond a doubt. I say this because most problems an individual will face in there life will be temporary. I was told a saying "death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
If its depression here is a good video on it
Another on suicide
Also I'd recommend a speaker called Alan Watts (love this guy got me through some of my darkest moments
This one he talks about suicide (never listened to it, so I cant give you my opinion on it)
My personal belief is there all ways is a way; no matter the situation. If you have the will and perseverance you will create your way.
Thank you for your well thought out reply, I also watched the links, they were very helpful. I'm very grateful, thank you.
And thank you for your encouragement, I will think on what you've said.
Thank you for this, just watched it and it made some very good points.
This is what I was thinking, but a sign of what?
How to stop screwing yourself over. Jump to 6:55
Statistically, the odds of any one of us being born where we are, when we are is frankly amazing
>living the day i shouldn't be alive for
Lol Wat. Your alarm didn't go of. I think that is a pretty damn fucking good sign.
Can't you see that as a moment in your life now, as one that you have the choice to change something. Man i don't know you, but that's a pretty heavy feeling inside my chest reading this.
What did you write? And what's going on in your head now? I mean. Why don't you see this as a sign and decide to live? I don't want you to be dead, God! Have you ever talked to anyone? Does even anybody in your RL know what's going on?
The fact that your alarm never went off is a sign. You have been given the opportunity of being reborn. Pursue your enlightenment and personal development.
If your felling alone remember we are all one, it is only through the lens of the mind that we see division between I and the cosmos.
We think we are Humans
Personal Development for Smart People
If your feeling hopeless about the state of the world and feel that it is hopeless. Fear not, solutions already exist and are being implemented.
Greening the Desert
Industrial Hemp Solutions
One Life, One Search,
Peace Out, Shane
When bad things happen to you, use the Ready, SET, Go approach:
S - See it as temporary (will this be a big deal 10 years from now?)
E - Externalize (step back and see the big picture; don't take it personally)
T - Take action (make plan/formula for correction, focus on things you can control)
This will generate a positive frame of mind that is future oriented.
I've given it a lot of thought today. When I woke up this morning straightaway I had no idea what I was supposed to do, I had planned that I wouldn't even be here to experience today but i guess fate showed otherwise. Thanks all of you for your advice, I'm thinking about it very much. I've thought maybe to go back to an old hobby - photography - and work on capturing things in life that look nice, that'll at least remind me how life can have good things I guess.
You all think it was a pretty big sign my alarm never went off, I think I agree with you. It has to mean something, maybe either that or I'm really lucky. Either way I'm going to focus on living right now and see if things come of that. Thanks again.