What is sex? Why do humans need love? What is love? How does a man deal with heartbreak? What does it mean when a man fantasizes about a girl whom he knows nothing about?
Why do I post here amongst these young adults looking for the same thing i'm looking for? This adv board was invented to ease the tentions of hormones. The body wants what the body wants, and I can't get that. I can't get what the body wants.
People say, whether it be internet, friends, and family, to move on. That doesn't help me one bit. All that makes me think about is how needy I am and how dumb I am that I can't just move on. You can't tell a depressed person to stop being depressed, it doesn't work that way. HOW do I move on?
I'm in highschool. Must be hormones, eh? Well I'm fucking 18 and I thought those hormones go away at 16 or something. But I guess i'm just unusual since i'm just a person with adhd who's been feeling lonely. I ditched my friends for this girl. My friends are fucking toxic. I want to change into someone greater. I wanted to change into someone greater.
I spent 3 months 'improving' myself. But all I really did was just fucking worry about what is going to happen the next day at school. I thought i'd be a fucking good person by the time I asked her out. But no, all I did was talk with her for a little bit, and just asked her out. Note, this is the girl i've convinced myself that life is all about her, and that she's the one. But nope, she said she has a boyfriend.
And here I am. Ashamed at myself for fucking it up. We could've been truly a great couple I keep convincing myself, and now I see that she thinks i'm a fucking creep. Every night, I dwell on what could've been.
People say that there will be another 'one', but I just don't believe that.
I.. Just... Don't.
I'm going into college, all of my grades have dropped and I don't care.
If it helps, I took that lame personality test 4 times (sparsely, not in a row) and every time it stated INFP.
Please help me
Trusting myers-briggs personality tests are complete bullshit, lol. I always end with one of three different personalities depending on my mood, because they really are not definitive and all of the character traits fall into a spectrum, especially introversion. The tests were created by two women with no credible background in psychology, and you shouldn't judge your own personality based on what some personality test tells you. They're just meant to be fun to read.
>What does it mean when a man fantasizes about a girl he knows nothing about?
Delusion. Wanting something isn't enough to get it; you must be willing to take action. I recommend seeking advice from those who you believe can help you. Find people who can see the good in you.
>My friends are fucking toxic
Then ditch them. Friendships aren't meant to be one-sided; they should be mutually beneficial. If your friends aren't actively trying to help you out, then it might be because they aren't actually your friends or they can feel the wall that you have put between you and them. But in return you must return the favor and make an effort to talk to them as well.
>the /adv/ board was meant to ease the tensions of hormones
I guess, but that just depends on your perspective. I'm the same exact age as you, and I'm a virgin that isn't really looking for sex, even though I like talking to girls and find them attractive.
Don't be afraid to communicate your feelings, no matter how embarrassing that they may seem to you. As an introvert, it helps to let out your feelings by vocalizing them to other people who understand how you feel so that you do not overthink them or delve too deep into them.
Don't be too needy. If you think that you need a relationship to be happy, then you are not ready to be in one. It will hurt both of you in the end.
You are not needy. You are not dumb. You cannot listen to the opinions of people that do not understand you, especially if they are not constructive.
You sound ok OP. these are things lots of people go through. time changes, for the better, for the worse. maturity is just getting used to it. everyone figures out things for themselves. maybe don't search for advice as much as human connection in general.
> You cannot listen to the opinions of people that do not understand you, especially if they are not constructive.
For some reason I first read this as explaining the feelings I have for this girl.
I agree on action. I agree that everything I'm thinking about now will not matter if I talk to her. But too much conflict is in the way.
She talks with and hugs other guys all the time. But not me.
She seems to be going through alot, and I respect that. Ignoring her is best, I keep convincing myself. If I try to pursue her anymore, I will come on too strong by default, and since I've never talked with her before hand about anything, I'll just be seen as a guy trying to get laid in her eyes. Nothing I can do will get her to like me.
..Then I think of myself as a fucking selfish cunt who doesn't deserve a girlfriend because of the little things people said to me. But then I think oh man that sensitivity I can relate to her, I can -help- her! But noo I came on too strong
..I'm sorry if you read all that, it helps getting this out. I'm too ashamed of myself to be talking about this with my friends..
>I feel ashamed of talking about this to my friends
Why? I tell my friends about embarrassing shit that I do all the time. As long as you don't take what they say personally, it can be very helpful.
Why do you need this girl anyway? There are plenty of other girls out there that are a better match for you.
I guess because of everything I fantasized about her. If that false reality were to happen in real life, I would feel -normal- again. I accustomed my happiness to those fake realities.. I don't know how to move on.
You talk to other people about it. Is it really that complicated? You cannot live in your own little world of perfection all the time, or else your real life will suffer. You will destroy your relationships and turn your back on people without even being consciously aware of it.
You have to achieve some sort of balance between the happiness you get from your real life and your thoughts, or else it is going to really fuck you up. Why would you choose to victimize yourself when it is not necessary?
1) All that stuff that happened between being born and the end of high-school doesn't matter, you're reborn as an adult, for better or worse.
2) Sex is nice, but it's not the end of the world. If you put yourself out there enough, I guarantee you'll find sex (not necessarily love).
3) Love isn't a real thing, you define what love is, and if you're lucky someone shares that same definition -- opinions change -- and you'll probably spend a long time looking for a like-minded person.
4) Just do your best to improve, you're alive anyway, and someday you'll die: might as well make the best of it.
Because I'm a selfish piece of shit and I know it. I'm in special ed, adhd, want to be famous, etc. I don't deserve her and I need to be happy in order to have a relationship.
In my perspective I see posting to 4chan as a last result and a way to communicate to people that I'm a mess, and some form or 'yeah I feel that' helps, I guess.
3 months left of school and of ever sering her again. I'm a victim to my own thoughts, and Im too much of a pussy to do anything. I'm being rushed into this, so I try to do anything thats within my comfort zone because I'm too much of a pussy lol. My life is just all about pessimism lol.
Idk when I'm being 'crushed' by a girl, I'm either extremely happy, or I'm being crushed.
Holy fuck OP get your fucking head out of your ass.
Seriously, you say that you made this all about her, but in reality you're making this all about you.
What you believe:
>i've convinced myself that life is all about her
What the reality is:
>I can't get what the body wants
>makes me think about is how needy I am and how dumb I am
>HOW do I move on?
>i'm just unusual
>Ashamed at myself for fucking it up
>We could've been truly a great couple I keep convincing myself
>I dwell on what could've been.
> I just don't believe that.
OP, first of all, stop thinking the world owes you something. The world doesn't owe you jack shit.
Secondly, stop whatever fantasy you have about this girl. You asked her out, she said no. Yes it sucks, but at least you got your answer. Let her go, don't stay friends with her, don't let her talk you into staying friends. LET HER GO.
If you don't, you'll only become more depressed.
Lastly, Learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. It seems like you did a lot of self improving FOR A GIRL. Wrong buddy, You do that shit for yourself and only for yourself. When you can learn to love yourself, you'll become less depressed, have more confidence, and become more appealing to women.
No one can tell you to stop being depressed, but only you can begin the baby steps to get yourself out of that state of mind.
Love yourself first anon. Good luck.
>im 18, hormones go away at 16
>spent 3 [sic!] months improving myself
Oh dear, thats like triple eternity, you must absolutely LOVE her
>comparing rejection to Depression
Oh boy, poor snowflake!!
>General puberty shit
Well, get your edgy shit together you useless piece of shit and stop whining coz some girl rejected you. Its gonna happen again, you know. Dont think youre gonna be successful if you dont stop being a little bitch.
If I let her go, then how will I get coverage? How will I become even more depressed? I'm thinking if she got to know me better we would be friends, since it seems we have the same interests.
I need to know if I'm wrong, and, being in denial, I convice myself that you guys are completely wrong since you guys have no context of any of this. I can post a story of how it went, I have before. It also helpa publishing every single thing that pops into my head onto here. I'm just going to roll with it
I'm like a baby crying after being told no. I have no experience of the situation, and this is a first. I've never felt this way. Now I'm viewing this as a growing experience. Thanks guys, I'll move on. No matter how hard it will be.
>What is sex?
Sex is the act by which people reproduce. It is satisfying and our instincts drive us to seek it. Unless you're trying to have a child sex is just a pleasant activity.
>Why do humans need love?
Humans, like most other species thrive when they act in tribes or pairs. It's easier to survive and obviously, to mate. That's why we evolved to feel love, to have an incentive to live and work together.
>What is love?
A chemical reaction in the brain that makes another person seem important and pleasant to you.
>How does a man deal with heartbreak?
There are many ways to deal with a heartbreak, most of them consist in involving yourself in different activities to take your mind off it. Stuff like videogames, gym, reading. But this will only fasten the process and make it easier as you will get over it in time anyways. How long that time might be no one can tell.
>What does it mean when a man fantasizes about a girl whom he knows nothing about?
It's a basic desire streamed from instinct. Your brain tells you to reproduce.
>Why do I post here amongst these young adults looking for the same thing i'm looking for?
Because you feel the need to socialize and express your feelings. You're looking for support and guidance.
>HOW do I move on?
Find a hobby. A passion. Set some goals for your life. Work towards achieving something. Don't interact with her. Go out, talk to people, socialize. Be patient, it takes time.