Hey, /adv/. I've noticed I'm becoming more self-deprecating, lonelier, more thoughts of suicide, creepier, and weirder.
I don't have many friends, since next to everybody at my college is an athlete-type, "supfamtbh" kind of guy. That's fine and all, but I just don't relate.
I've started talking to myself when I'm alone, but only when I feel like shit or remember one of the 9 million embarrassing things I've done, and even then it's mainly "Christ, I'm pathetic", "I should fucking kill myself" or "I want my skull caved in."
I can't interact with people, anymore. I don't have the confidence or social skills, and I feel like I always do at least one mild-to-moderately creepy thing per interaction. I'm a virgin, and I'm afraid I'll die one, even though I don't look bad, or wear fedoras, or anything.
I was abused my maternal figures growing up, was always alone and considered weird, and Depression is genetic in my family, so that might have something to do with it. I'm not really looking for a cause, though. I want some advice on how to pull my life together.
So what should I do? I feel like I'm broken.
Don't beat yourself up over pitty things. Be aware that EVERY single person you'll ever talk has had these moments.
Do you ever go out? I don't want to get you hooked on alcohol but it really can help you get over that initial insecurity. Also, you can be 100% that the people around you either don't care or don't remember how you were acting. Well, unless you harass someone in an alley or something extreme like that.
Have you read Pratchett? He has a line about a character with negative amounts of BAC, so he drinks to be normal, but over medicates.
I used to, since one of my friends used to throw parties, but he doesn't anymore. I do drink a bit to loosen up, but sometimes I'm afraid since a lot of people in my family were alcoholics. I'll try and get him to help get me to go out, since I have no idea how to.
It's comforting to think that everybody has these moments, even if I think I have more of them. Also, that they really don't care. I appreciate it anon.
I'm sort of into /tg/. Can't find a game though.
I've only about 4 hours of free time, I can't drive, and I'm in a really small town, so it's a bit hard to find something.
You're absolutely right, though, a hobby would help. Where do you find one?
How old are you if I may ask?
I notice in a lot of your posts you mention the negative effect your family had on you in the past.
As you also say 'was abused by' I take it you no longer live with them.
Part of maturing(most of it actually) is realizing that at some point your upbringing no longer affects your current life and the the place you are at now. Captain Hindsight is the shittiest superhero ever so dish him as from this day on you are responsible for clearing the damage that was left by the lack of good parenting and for preventing any future damage to your life.
Saying things like; I will become an alcoholic because my uncle/nephew/grandma was one is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My family is depressed and so am i, is the same thing.
Why would you associatate yourself with your abusive parents? Will you abuse your child just like they did?
18, almost 19. Just got into college a few months ago.
Thanks, anon. Sometimes it's hard to really think these things out. I'll keep in mind that all that stuff is no longer tangible, just a story played in my brain. I'll have to avoid becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, and distance myself from the way I was raised.
Good luck :)
I can promise from experience that once you start working on things that make you feel good a lot of great people will see your efforts and offer to help. The loneliness will go away.
>tfw you're female and your main hobby is guns
>live in a small town and everyone is either a fudd idiot or like intimidated by it
How is it everything you say is the most retarded thing I've ever heard? Christ, I'd be a little bothered if it wasn't sort of impressive.
Oddly this is inspiring. There are tripfags on the internet who are far more pathetic than I feel.
But seriously, drink bleach. Everybody here has had their I.Q. lowered by a point or two just by reading your shitposts.
I'll look him up. Thanks for the recommendation.
That's not even me. Christ, a liberal, who misuses the word meme, is a tripfag, and is the antithesis of logic or reason.
That's the point of it. It's also what the I stands for. Unless you have a better way of measuring memory and problem solving, considering you must be important, or else you wouldn't name yourself on an anonymous anime website.
Its not anonymous and never was
You redditors say the darnedest things
MUH LOGIC AND REASONSSSS
IQ is not a measure of intelligence, its a test created by psychologists which of course is a psuedoscience
For someone who pretends to be smart on the internet you sure are pretty stupid
The fact that you even say kek shows how much of a faggot you are. Do you even know where it comes from? Or are you one of those kids who sees those cool kids saying it and want to be cool like them?
Nobody really cares enough to notice how insecure you are most of the time. Figure out things to do that you enjoy and meet people in that context. It will be hard because it is different. Don't be hung up on hanging out with people you want to be like -- that is going to reinforce low self esteem and those folks are not going to want to hang out with you anyway. Good luck.
I just found Simpsons to be boring desu
Rarity is best pony
Just another notch on my sword
you're just thinking too much.
my advice is this.
1. look at people in the eye when you talk to them.
2. be 20% yourself. idk how to articulate this any other way but you have to dilute yourself within whatever society you're within if you wish to be a part of it.
3. stop talking to yourself about neurotic shit. just catch yourself whenever you do it and stop it.
4. don't try to be perfect. think of "fucking up" more as "oops" and move on.
5. we all think about the past, it's the human condition. just stop overreacting to it, fidget it away and continue on with whatever you were doing.
6. don't take life/yourself so seriously. see it as a playground.
7. don't be afraid to show anxiety just be playful with it. i've found that if you remove anxiety you just become autistic or a gigantic asshole. fear exists for a reason and once you realize that people aren't all that scary you'll have an easier time.
8. curb your enthusiasm. over-enthusiasm is probably the most unattractive trait a person could have.
of course this is all relative depending on what social group you want to be a part of. what's weird in one group is normal in another so yea find people you want to be like and try to get in then it's smooth sailing from there really.
I do in fact enjoy a feminine penis
It has to be an aesthetic feminine penis
alcohol for me makes me not care about what I am doing, but when I get sober I remember everything I did and it makes me feel even shittier. even if nobody else remembers what i did, i would still do.