>>16878762 dont slowly realize it, realize it now and start doing something about it online dating is a dead end start doing shit in real life that will get you to meet girls, weekend outdoor activities are great as is fitness related shit
>>16878756 >>16878763 >>16878803 Why would a real life person not be just as shallow? Do you think that hot grill at the "library" wouldn't exhibit hypergamous behavior if she was accosted by a swarming horde of living Chads?
Online dating simply makes naked the superficiality inherent in everyone. Crude that it might be, it's just expediting mate selection.
he's not right at all. like online dating 'simply' makes naked the superficiality in everyone? uh yeah fucking right, as if it doesn't completely highlight and exacerbate it as well as implicitly encourage it
also, it 'just' expedites mate selection? shut the fuck up, expedition in that case is exactly what makes all the difference.
>>16878844 Yeah, I'm pretty decent looking dude myself (Probably about a 7.5-8. At the very least, I get compliments from women fairly often.), but I don't think I'd ever date another 8 or a 9 for the reasons you've just mentioned. It's honestly pretty shallow of me to think this way, but whenever I see an exceptionally, jaw droppingly gorgeous woman, my first impulse is to think "Well, she's probably got a shite personality."
>>16878923 >online dating is exclusively for validation and casual sex
That's simply not true. Far too many relationships have been initiated electronically for that statement to be valid in even a general sense. It is too easy to look up.
>>16878936 I think you take more exception to how I used the words "simply" and "just" than to the general message of my post. Perhaps you are upset because my assessment was not explicitly critical of online dating. In any case, don't be pedantic.
I'm suggesting that it's not reasonable to compare the misery of an average woman who has near endless supply of social support at any age with an average man who has very limited social support until 20-30s.
It seems from this perspective that there is a definite disparity of ease between the two experiences.
Thank you for not arguing against my point at all, I will use this as an opportunity to further substantiate my suggestion. But I wonder friend... Are you laughing to cover up your own discomfort with the nature of this subject?
I've experienced plenty of average looking women in their 40s getting plenty of attention from men. As long as they aren't whales, I haven't experienced any with a problem in this area.
'Hitting the wall' is a term that represents a relatively minor inconvenience for females. It seems to me to be wishful thinking on the part of vengeful and naive young men.
>>16878752 Dude, you actually had me thinking you were just another bitter virgin for a while. But you couldn't keep the sock puppets and the tired memes away, could you? There's no "another" about it: you're the same bitter virgin who shits all over this board on a day-to-day basis, with your usual legion of obvious sock puppets.
What you are posting is rhe eaperience of men who are so obviously unready for sex that they can't even hide it on an anonymous Web forum, but try to get it anyway. Your example of a post is cherry-picked, the single semi-worthwhile paragraph out of a cringe-fest. Likely it doesn't even reflect her profile at all, but hos: he just trolled the posts looking for women he found physically attractive, then copypasta'd the same form letter to all of them. Shit like this happens all the time, and it is trivial to spot.
You are creepy, OP. You need to change, on some very basic levels. No one is going to want you until you aren't liable to turn psycho on them, which, right now, you clearly are.
>no you boys don't understood we have the world at our feet for 15 years but then we're totes FA :(((( >fucking cunt at least you had some time in the sun >OMG it totes doesn't matter bitter virgin u mad lol
This "discussion" happens at least 3-4 times a week, and it is never reasonable
The thing is you're basically just expounding your theories about why you're not getting laid, the answer always seems to be "the fault is with everyone except me," and frankly nobody wants to hear it. Except /r9k/. They love this shit. You should really go check out /r9k/
It's not. Any time you start talking this shit, that's how people see you. Not even the same poster, but it's the truth. These threads kind of gross me out. It's like when you lift an old piece of wood off the ground, and you can see that the underside has rotted out and there's bugs crawling out and shit.
You guys are the hidden wood-rot of society. You're the ones that went bad somehow. You didn't turn out the way people are supposed to turn out
>There's always room to turn your life around anon.
Yes. IF you start taking responsibility for yourself. There is no way to improve if you're still blaming the rest of the world for your own personal problems. Whether or not it's TRUE is irrelevant. Because you are the only person who cares if you're hurting. Wrap your head around that fact, stop acting as if the world owes you something different, and take control of your own life.
>>16878752 I struggled with dating online for the past two years. Hardly any responses/swipes right.
In the past week or two I got two numbers and am going on a date in about an hour. This probably isn't as good a result as the top guys are getting but it's better than nothing. Honestly, already it's kind of weird having two girls' numbers/two dates planned within a week with two different people. I don't know how you could juggle more than a few at a time even if you're just going casual.
I'm not tall, I'm not white, and I'm not muscular. I don't make a lot of money, and I don't have a lantern jaw or deep blue eyes. I don't lie about any of these things in my profile either - girls can see my height in pictures, they can see I'm skinny and they can see where I work. I just swiped right on pretty much every girl I found attractive enough to want to get to know (not every single last girl, there's a difference).
I've swiped right on hundreds, if not thousands at this point, which means I've been rejected so much more often than not (I've gotten maybe 100 matches on Tinder at this point). Having said that, I've gotten more matches in a shorter amount of time compared to when I first started, by finding a profile picture that girls like, and I'm not sure how my bio has affected performance, if at all.
I'm not getting matched with 10/10 Super Stacy's, but I'm also NOT getting matched with girls several scales of attractiveness below me either as was suggested here >>16878756 .
>>16879203 You thought i was OP and you attacked me with baseless assumptions, how mature of you, is this how a person that's ready for sex behaves? Is this the kind of attitude i need to have in order to be allowed to have sex? And yes i did write the word "allowed" because somehow the people on this thread believe they the authority to decide who's allowed to have sex
Here's what's up, man: There are two types of guys who aren't getting laid.
>A: Ugh why am I not having any luck? What am I doing wrong? What do these guys have that I don't?
>B: Ugh why am I not having any luck? What the fuck is wrong with these girls? Oh look at that fucking slut, of course she's into THAT guy... fucking meathead Chad...
A has hope. A is absolutely fine. Pretty much everyone has been A at some point.
B is what happens when A can't accept the idea that HE is the one that needs to change. B is that ugly-ass combo of narcissism and low self-esteem that produces some of the worst behavior you'll ever see. And B has no hope, without a drastic personality overhaul. B needs, like, a life-changing spiritual experience, or some bullshit like that. Without that, B will be alone forever, getting angrier and angrier every year
>>16879276 You're confusing "able to see the world in a different way" with "uneducated retard who couldn't reason his way out of a paper bag if his fucking life depended on it yet has convinced himself that he's the enlightened one and everyone else is a blind sheep on the basis of delusional narcissistic bullshit"
>>16879262 Bullshit. If you're a hawt guy, you get laid. Otherwise, you don't. This is the iron rule. People who get laid aren't perfect, they have their flaws. The only thing preventing you from getting laid are your looks, stop. People with shitty personalities but with good looks are constantly getting laid. Working on your personality doesn't make you attractive.
>>16878752 >Women, explain this. I am daddy's princess and I want Chad Thundercock. And when I get knocked up and he bolts, I'll find some stupid beta who will worship the ground I walk on and bust his ass to provide for mine and Chad's kid.
>>16879318 >The only thing preventing you from getting laid are your looks, stop.
The more I start to approach women and be pro-active about my own dating life, the more I realize how many opportunities I probably had in the past. But I was naive, inexperienced or lacked the confidence to receive a girl's signals and move things forward. This usually resulted in her concluding a lack of interest on my end, and going cold/finding some other guy.
Consider that women are interested in you now, and you just don't see it because you either believe you're too unattractive to be wanted, or you're not attracted to the girls who like you.
>working on your personality doesn't make you attractive Yes, yes it does, if you can figure out what about your personality stops you from having sex with girls.
I've done online dating with great success as a guy, I've seen my male friends do it, and I've seen my female friends do it, and let me tell you there's plenty of shit to go around.
My female cousin and my male friend both found spouses online, but some of my female friends have had really awful experiences and a couple of them refuse to use it anymore. I never really saw the "men have to date way down" thing online, seemed like everyone's matches were pretty much in line with their "league". Hell, I've dated women I thought were out of my league from online.
....maybe you guys are just bitter because you didn't realize you were as shit as you are? Because in my experience there's not really that much of a difference between online and off (other than the volume)
>>16878752 Because women who are incapable of developing close relationships are fucking stupid. Think about it from their perspective:
>Be attractive girl >Don't try at all in school to learn shit >Guys pretend to like you for your personality because you are good looking >Schools give you ideas of what makes someone else a good person, but you don't listen to them cuz stupid
>Never learn anything practical in school, neglect your education entirely >You're stupid and insecure to your core >You have nothing interesting to say, poor social skills, self-awareness, and personality but your appearance is able to convince immature guys to think that you are those things >Guys who are arrogant and douchey hit you up because they know you are too uninhibited to call them out on their bullshit, and you mistake being being a complete asshole for being confident >You don't tell people what you really look for because you are too dumb to express it, so you just repeat what girls you think are "smart" say >Get fucked over on a regular basis because arrogant assholes are arrogant assholes
>Be done with school >Don't make it through college or get a respectable degree cuz stupid >Decide to leech off of someone else and come up with some delusional reason to do so >All the guys who hit you up in the bars and clubs that you frequent are deadbeat losers >Someone tells you to try online dating >You go on there looking for "confident guys" when in reality you are just looking for someone good looking and attractive like you have always been because you are pretending not to be completely shallow
I know I sound like a total asshole and that I'm being overly critical, but stupid girls like this practically beg to be taken advantage of, and they are too stupid to realize it. I don't want to be near them, and if you're a smart person then you shouldn't either. Attractive women are overrated online and in person, and it pisses me off.
>>16879971 Exactly. I wish people here understood that. The fact that people get depressed over getting rejected by some random girl who they have never even spoken to in person means that they have other personal issues that they have to work on if they actually want to be happy.
>>16879988 >>16879971 nah you guys are both wrong. People on dating sites are basically the same cross-slice of the population as anywhere else. Some of the most normal, sane people have been the ones I've met online. Online dating is just a tool to make an introduction to people, which can be used by anyone.
I think you guys have sour grapes and are giving post-hoc excuses to rationalize your failures/bad experiences.
>>16879988 *you have other personal issues to work on if you actually want to be happy
If you expect too much from the wrong kinds of people, then you are going to be disappointed. If you only care about people for looks alone, then what makes you different than the type of girl that you are criticizing?
Pisses me off. If you want to just hook up with a girl, then make your intentions clear from the very beginning. Your first interaction is the most important. If you just want hook up with someone, then get that across from the beginning, but make sure that you ask the right people if you did anything wrong when you get rejected. Also, don't be too worried about it if you do get rejected, because there are plenty of other women out there as long as you give the right impression.
If the relationship is one sided (and she's not a FWB) and she does not enrich your life, then kick her to the curb immediately. If you know that you have something to offer, then show people and let them know that
>>16880001 >People on dating sites are basically the same cross-slice of the population as anywhere else. Major sites and apps all public demographic data regularly. Look for yourself. This isn't even close to being factually correct.
>Some of the most normal, sane people have been the ones I've met online. I didn't say that the horny women were insane or abnormal. In fact having a healthy libido and comfort with casual encounters is as typical as you can get. I also didn't comment on any of the men you might know who you might know to use online dating.
You can think what you want about bias but it's not coming from a place of disappointment. These observations are in fact the reason why I don't have bad experiences. I think you took it as a critique and then for some reason decided to white knight.
>>16880001 No, don't even try that shit. I didn't spend 15 minutes making several posts that almost reach the character limit on my phone for you to try to twist what I said into something else entirely.
My advice is directed towards people on this site who are afraid of rejection and get upset/depressed because they tried to develop a relationship with the wrong person and got rejected. If you're happy, then feel free to ignore me because I'm just saying what I feel needs to be said.
I have deep conversations with some people online, as well as close relationships in person, but most people are not worth your time, and you are delusional if you want to deny that. Not everybody here is successful and as happy with their relationships as you, and if you're happy with your life then I'm happy for you, and I really mean that.
I started coming on this board because it seemed different from when I quit going on here 4 years ago, and I was hoping to find some decent advice that I could actually apply in my life, but every time I want a real answer to something, I have to troll in order to get real answers because 90% of it is self pitying garbage. People on the internet only seem to give you constructive advice if they feel that you are wrong about something.
I might as well post a bunch of pictures and links that helped me because it's not like you people have the self-discipline to read and listen to other people. I'll do it if someone asks, but only if someone asks. If they don't, then I won't, but the opportunity is there.
I was diagnosed with depression some years ago and have lived most of my life with low self esteem, up until recently. I know what it's like, and I'm only posting because I want to help.
>>16879365 You're a fool. The Red Pill does not teach you that looks don't matter, but it does teach you that being "alpha" is what matters and guess what? Alpha is a state of being, it's part of your personality. Alpha is more than how you look. You probably assume that you don't get girls because you're ugly, and guys who get girls must be better looking than you. But it's not necessarily true, UNLESS you only pursue the absolute best looking women with tons of options, in which case yeah, they're going to be pickier.
>>16879380 >attractive According to this board I shouldn't have success with girls and for a while I believed it. But I kept trying after taking breaks here and there and have started changing my attitude and habits and I'm already moving to a better place.
>>16880010 >>16880018 You sound fine. I wouldn't know what particularly ails you but one thing to keep in mind is that women usually won't approach you, and if they do it's done in ways that aren't really that proactive (women think that walking up to a guy and talking to him, then waiting for him to make a move is an "approach").
>>16880062 I'm very open about my shortcomings and never feel sorry for myself, but can you say the same?
>>16880087 Because I know what it's like, and I see it here all the time. Why don't you quit trying to play devil's advocate and just be quiet because all you're doing here is shitposting?
Also you both proved my point about not listening, why don't you just take some more statements completely out of context and be negative for no real reason whatsoever? I'm sure that maybe one of them will actually irritate me a little, because you guys are so witty and clever and great at trolling and getting people upset.
When you say I'm triggered even when I'm not mad in the slightest, I really do get triggered because I care about ignorant opinions and perspectives of people on /adv/.
>inb4 something about writing walls of text to respond to short posts >inb4 I was never actually diagnosed with depression at any point in my life, because everybody here knows everything about me >inb4 Stop sucking my own dick >inb4 I'm mad or something >inb4 Other shitposting that is not helpful or constructive
>>16880055 Here's one: (http://gd0t.com/node/18 and so is pic related. Don't take the advice about buying $200 dollar gifts literally because that is make or break, unless you have the resources to give out gifts like that frequently.
>>16880145 >Because I know what it's like, and I see it here all the time. Why don't you quit trying to play devil's advocate and just be quiet because all you're doing here is shitposting? Ok then, keep going with that shitty personality of yours. >pic related Good one this will surely make this discussion more reasonable, it's not possible to make someone defensive(therefore not listening) with your posts.
OP it's easy as fuck to pander to a girl's interests. It shows nothing special about you, just that you are telling them you like what they like so you can fuck her.
Practice your game. To get a girl's attention, you have to show her that you don't give a fuck whether or not she likes you. This is attractive to women, because it shows that you're confident and not clingy.
When I used to use tinder and OKcupid, I would get matches and say something like "Not sure how this works. We're dating now, right..." and they would usually say "guess so"
That's the signal that she's interested. Then you continue with your flirting by saying something like "What do we do now?"
If she's really interested, some girls would directly say "well I guess you should come fuck me"
Most would just say "Not sure, what do you want to do?"
Then I would say "I guess I'm supposed to take you out to dinner then go to my place and cuddle while we watch a movie? Is that what couples do?"
Super easy way to get dates, and also effective at finding hook ups.
Just think of something creative. Get into the zone, don't be a pleb and say "Hey you like the same band I like." That's boring and unattractive as fuck.
>>16880159 Then get defensive instead of proving me wrong with logic and reason, it doesn't matter to me. If you're happy with wherever you are currently, then that is fine by me. This is for people who are interested something that is actually practical instead of comforting.
I probably am being too confrontational, but if I'm not then nobody will take heed in what I have to say. You learn that after a while.
The way someone acts on the internet and the way someone is IRL is not the same thing, there is is a huge disconnect because social opportunities are different and so relationships and interactions with the people involved in each.
If you want me to find more, then I will if you say so, and you can just read them instead of listening to me. It's your choice bro.
>>16879262 I'm like guy B, but I'm somewhat attractive and get laid without trying. I workout a little here and there, but nothing consistent. Really, women are bitches, and good men are often overlooked American society.
>>16879153 >>sock puppets >>anonymous message board >c'mon bru Yeah, it's pathetic, isn't it? And yet, it's the same easily-recognized catchphrases, the same tiny set of reaction images, even a couple of arcane words. Elloit, here, could scarcely be more recognizable if he used a trip. If it's not one person, then I can only conclude it's a small cult of followers: they've certainly got the Scientology-esque use of jargon down cold.
Why would any woman noy be creeped the fuck out by that? They make Lifetime Original Movies about men like this.
>>16878752 >a 6/10 woman messages you >hehe lol, I am nice or something, how about this [irrelevant crap] haha >an 9/10 woman messages you >Hey, you look good. Want to fuck? Why is this so hard to understand?
>>16879217 Honestly, with the given amount of time you put in to online dating, you could have invested that into other areas of life which would have been you more desirable and not have to carpet bomb likes/swipes/whatever
Thing is that those two years were very on and off. I had multiple periods of 2-3 months where I wasn't using the stuff at all, so two years could be an exaggeration.
I'm not exactly the same person I was two years ago either. Physically I'm about the same, sans gaining a few pounds and growing a beard, but I definitely have improved my self-confidence by leaps and bounds. The one thing I haven't bothered to do is bulk up, and loathe as I am to say it that's probably one of the biggest things that could improve my chances with women, that I'd have control over.
>carpet bomb likes/swipes I'm not sure how else I'd approach it. I mean, given the studies which suggest that shorter men do worse, as do non-white men, it seems like it'd be a numbers game for me more so than others. The only other alternative is to approach IRL, which I still haven't tried much of (but still really want to)
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