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Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Shaven, trimmed or full jungle?
Trimmed. Shaven is for fags, pornstars and faggy pornstars. Full jungle is for gorillas and 80s pornstars. When the shaver hits the hairs just right, the balls sing.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon and frogposters
Question for the ladies:
So when I grew up I was pretty much the only boy in my family, had 3 step sisters, a half sister and a step brother who was way older and not relevant to this story.
anyways I would always be forced to watch what they wanted on tv, listen to their music, etc. I'm pretty sure this has shaped what I like now still to this day.
I'm 22 and still watch the Disney chanel, love liv and Maddie, listen to 5sos, Shawn Mendes , basically my tastes are that of a teen girl. BUT I am well rounded I do listen to all kinds of music, country, some rap, metal. How do I, or do I ever at all ever mention I like that stuff to girls I'm interested in, I deffinetly do not seem like the person that would enjoy that stuff, just look like any other country guy with a big beard and a lifted truck lol.
kill myself for even having to meet them
From last thread. I had to leave early.
>meet girl, show interest
>she says she's lost and doesn't know. That she doesn't want to give me false hopes
>she still talks to me on Facebook though
>asked her out three times and gave up. She's always busy, always "can't" because of studies or others, and never reschedules.
>yesterday she's the one who texts me and asks if I'm at the same bar as her
>indicate where I am and tell her to come
>she says "Coming" and ten minutes later adds "actually I was joking. I'd love to but I have to go to sleep"
>I give up and stop replying
>she talks to me again today, tries to start a conversation and asks if I'm angry about yesterday since I'm barely talking
I then tell her that i'm busy with other things, and to wait. That I'd love to talk to her, and she knows why. But since she's impossible to meet face to face I really doubt she wants to talk. Unless talking on Facebook is all she wants, which is not what I want. (summed up).
So I guess I wont see anymore of her, right? I may have came off as a pissy baby but I don't mind.
I just want to know, would you say I did the good thing here?
For both genders: how much does personality weight in how attracted you feel to someone?
I work at a gym, and I'm surrounded by guys with amazing bodies. Yet, I can't find them attractive because of their personality traits or interests. Does this happen to any of you?
bad personality, attractive: fwb
good personality, attractive: consideration for actual relationship
good personality, unattractive: civil relations
bad personality, unattractive: no thanks
I'd say personality is at least 75% of attraction to me, and probably more. Femanon here, if that matters. I've only ever truly been attracted to my boyfriend in my 23 years on this earth.
I joined this niche club and a lot of the guys are really cool. I've never met this much concentration of guys who are super chill, ever. And I meet them and really want to fuck them. I have been making eyes at a lot of people but it could also be construed as friendliness. And I am not bad looking at all. I just went to a party with everyone and my inner slut has been threatening to come out full force to whoever talks to me more. How can I deal with this and 'pick one'? I havent had sex in a year so thats also fuckign me up too i think
I don't think it's a 1D Thing. But yeah how the person is very important. Of course there's always the appreciation of their sex appeal and how you can be sexually attracted to someone. But that's a fairly irrelevant detail unless you're just going to watch them. Even just lose sex requires you to sortof like the person. Or hate, very similar in many ways.
I've been called this by tons of girls and it seems fairly condescending. I'm quite confident they don't mean it in a bad way but it feels like if they actually meant something they would use better adjectives. Like if they mean physically attractive should call me handsome. If they like me personally they should call me a good person or something, 'nice guy' even if they deliver it well.
I find its similar to how when you're pressured into claiming someone is nice in some way you just call them nice. It's a word you say when you don't care but you'd like to compliment in some way.
I've had plenty of married women (my age) call me cute. I sincerely hope that didn't mean they're intending to cheat. I'd like some of them as friends.
To me, attraction is mostly about intelligence, interest and personality.
There are some physical traits (way shorter than me, morbidly obese or severely underweight, REALLY hideous) who make a guy unattractive to me , tho. But most people I know would fit my criteria.
Yeah. But I gave up being alpha because guys are fucking idiots and I get more attention when not being alpha which, wtf. I'll make a small first move and then just give up on a dude if hes being passive, nowadays.
Fuck I really dont want to say, its a bit identifying. But its similar to a lumberjack club. Same weirdness but also kind of cool since youre all about being with nature but also providing for yourself and not being a pansy
Thanks this is good advice. I will weigh my options and pick the one that fits best with me. I dont think it will look too well for me if i fucked my way through the whole club (i mean i wouldnt mind, but i am way more hippy than most even in this club)
Personality is definitely very important to me. I can't even get off to people I don't "click with".
What do you mean by "alpha females"? Is it just someone who is direct and forthcoming with their interest in people, or someone who's tomboyish?
Question for guys, how difficult is it to shave your balls? I had a dream yesterday where a guy was shaving his balls and cut it open and the testicle was hanging out and he just laughed and laughed. It was weird.
I am aggressive and make the first move, if that's what you mean.
You did the right thing.
More than looks, but of course the guy has to be not deformed for that to be the case.
You might bring out their motherly instinct.
>For both genders: how much does personality weight in how attracted you feel to someone?
Guy, straight, the answer is not at all. I wouldn't get into a relationship with a woman with a shit personality, because I'm not retarded, but having a shit personality doesn't make her any less attractive as such, nor does a good personality improve anything. It's all body, figure moreso than face for me.
Has anyone ever been to Burning Man before? My friend invited me to go, but traveling by air is a really big deal to me (technical issues).
Does anyone know if the atmosphere there is really... chill? Or do people bump into each other a lot? I don't mind going to concerts, I just want to avoid being touched or shoved. Thanks
What are examples of good dates?
Either ones you've been on or want to go on.
Context: I'm moving into my late 20's but I never got the knack of proper, adult dates.
I've got a bit of social anxiety (particularly new stuff with new people) so I basically want to do activities with myself or a friend as exposure therapy. I know that sounds weird, but this is what it takes for me to be normal.
Do you consider them friends?
Does the club seem like something you want to do for a long time?
It seems like a good opportunity to swoop in, find a boyfriend and then stop turning up.
Or alternatively, it's a good opportunity to have a lot of guys grow to have no respect for you.
My favouritr first dates are usually very calm and normal stuff: lunch, a drink or a coffee would be good. I want to get to know you and talk to you, and they aren't as expensive and as formal as a dinner, so it is more relaxed.
Then usually I go for:
>stuff at home
Watching a movie, cooking dinner at my/his place.
Hiking, laser tag, ice skating, etc
Concerts, museums, a walk in a nice town, theatre, attending some event, movies, etc
One of the things I value most is if the guy is able to not stick to the plan, like if something unexpected happens I really like if he has a plan b. Like one day me and this guy were supposed to go to the beach, half way there it starts raining. We look for the closest place with a roof, it's an IKEA. Spent the afternoon there joking around and playing like idiots. One of the best dates I've ever had.
Marry Khloe, she has a personality and everything
Fuck Kourtney, it would be a crushing experience, but I don't want to kill her because I want her around for comedy value of what a soulless bitch she is
Kill Kim and steal Kanye to be my other waifu
Well I'd fine that kinda endearing, but I'd save it until you've had a few dates with a girl before you start bringing it up. When you do, just act casual about it like it's not a big deal (it's not); unusual interests usually only really freak people out if you're super intense/creepy about them.
You did fine, I wouldn't bother trying with her anymore though.
Personality/style is most of attraction for me, physicality is quite inconsequential in the long run.
Not necessarily bad, some girls are into cutesy boys, some aren't.
Good date: this is quite subjective but I'd say something you're confident doing; i.e. don't take a girl to a fancy restaurant if you feel really uncomfortable in that situation, because your insecurity will leak through and it'll be unattractive. Also, definitely meet on neutral ground (i.e. neither of your homes) on a first date to make escape easier if it goes badly. I'd say no movies because you don't actually get to know a person that way.
Honestly just go out and interact with as many people as possible to see if/how I get treated differently. Definitely try and hook up with a girl to see how difficult it really is.
Not usually, I usually feel like shit. This depends on what kind of dream I had though, if it was a dirty one then fuck yeah.
Before you start a relationship with someone, do you run tests on them so see if they meet your standards? For example, testing if they are rude by bringing up various trigger topics, checking how clingy they can get, stuff like that?
Well, realistically I'd freak out obviously, but if we're being fantastic I'll probably giggle about my penis all day or just see how different it is to live as a guy for a while. Maybe try to have sex from a guys point of view.
No I'm nowhere near that calculating but it'd probably do me some good. Do you do that?
Text her in alternation. If you start first, let her start the next. Don't text too much or she will feel annoyed. Know when to stfu about a certain topic, it will be hard to do since you can't read her body language.
Texting is a difficult way to communicate, it takes experience to learn how to not fuck up. And you can still fuck up even with experience.
21 years old, and I am into asphyxia. Specifically, choking, either with hands or rope-like tools.
Guys, is this a turn-off? I have deliberately kept this a secret in my last relationship, but it became very hard to refrain in the heat of the moment. We're not together anymore, though.
Gage how often you text her on how often she texts you.
If she's doing it out of courtesy she'll probably keep trying to end the conversation, or just not making an effort to continue it. Examples are answering your questions but not asking any back, short replies that only comprise of 'haha' 'okay' ':)' 'yeah cool' etc.
You can tell she likes texting you if she texts the same amount or she starts. If you go silent and she texts to start up a conversation then yeah she likes texting you.
One word text or emoji are a good sign she doesn't want to text.
Also it varies from girl to girl. My nipples get super sensitive, but not in a feel good way.
I'm not a guy so maybe my opinion doesn't matter much to you but I think that's hot. Are you into being choked or choking?
Girl here so I know it's not the reply you want, but in my previous experience some are really into it, some really aren't. If they're generally into rough sex/kink they'll probably be down.
I am also interested in hearing a male perspective though, care to chip in boys?
It depends. If you like doing it to a guy, then you might have some problems. However some of my beta friends like that sort of thing.
But if you like it done to you then that's hot to most guys.
That's alright, I don't discriminate.
My last boyfriend wasn't interested in it, so I've only ever self-choked. The dull, humming ache, combined with the inevitable light-headed feeling is amazing. I don't know what it would be like to choke someone else. I think I would be afraid I'd hurt them...? My own limits are rather blurry.
Care to extrapolate?
I don't mind if other girls chime in. It's anonymus after all.
How would you tell if someone is into rough-sex? All the guys I've dated are very sweet, but the first time with them is always sort of nervous?
I didn't know self-choking was a thing really. It sounds kind of hot though. I've heard it makes the orgasm so much better? My only contact with choking was watching Filth.
I'd definitely much rather be choked than choke someone.
Rough sex girl here, I just straight up ask them if they like that sort of thing.
If that's too direct for you, I'd say just ask them about their fantasies/what porn they like. A tactic I used when I was younger and a little more timid when it came to these things was I'd tell the guy that I'd had a dirty dream about them that involved bondage/choking/spanking/whatever else and see how they reacted to that.
Mmm, you have to be careful. Can't let you pass out or it will be really badly. I think actor Robbie Williams died from it, or something...
It do make my orgasm really amazing, though. Feeling it so harder. But, I think it means you have to enjoy it, or it won't be as good. You know?
You ask them after first date??
I was afraid to tell my boyfriend. I didn't want to scare him away. Problem of mine is I don't know when it's "too much". I do it on myself, but not til I sleep. But, I really, really want someone who I can trust to do that. I'm a bad person
Yeah I don't think I'll choke myself so hard that I'm in danger of passing out, no? I've no idea how it's done really, as I said.
>makes my orgasm really amazing
I'm gonna try that tonight I think.
Ah, you can use hands, but it is very hard. I was saying careful because using rope-tools you can lose control and it will be end bad.
Hmm, I try once to choke with a silk rope and used my feet to pull back. That way, if I black out it won't continue to choke. But, I got too scared, lol
Ah, right. Problem is when you are on good relation with them, and you tell them and they don't like, it can ruin the relationship. All that time building is waste. This is why I didn't tell my last boyfriend. I liked him a lot, so I didn't want to risk
Why is it problem if I choke the guy? Maybe he wants it, lol
You're right it is risky telling them, however sexual compatibility is high up on my list of things I want in a relationship, so if they don't like that sort of thing we wouldn't work in the long run anyway. That's just me though.
>careful because using rope-tools you can lose control
Yeah I can imagine, thanks for the warning Anon. I'll probably do it with my SO present just to be sure. Thanks all the same!
But, does this mean you tell them after first sex? The more you wait, the worse, correct?
Seems waste if to date someone for months, and then you have good sex together, and tell them about it, and they lose interest. I don't know right moment to make it clear. I am hopeless, lol
Your boyfriend likes it, too? Cool !
>Your boyfriend likes it too
Well, girlfriend, and I don't know yet actually. I'll ask her when she comes home, but I like the idea and I'm sure she won't mind terribly if I'm just doing it myself.
There isn't really a too small boob size for me. Even the flattest ones can be pretty cute.
They're too big when they're like pic related, taking up half the top of your body. Breasts are not a replacement for a torso.
Girls and guys
Is anyone else very bitter when anything about the opposite sex comes up?
I got really pissed off the other night when I was at a bar drinking with some friends. And they were telling me how I'm "going to get married and have a bunch of kids one day". It was continuous over and over. And they were specifically saying this about a girl I'm talking to. They know I hate the thought of marriage. and they kept saying it so much it's really turning me bitter
Don't care, straight man. (I guess the obvious answer is "any size is too big")
Each the size of the girl's head is minimum acceptable. Upper bound is... having to cart 'em in a wheelbarrow?
Am I unattractive? This is the only picture I have of me, I'm not as serious as I look in the picture and my hair has changed. Never had a gf or even kissed a girl.
I'm turning very bitter for being 25. And it's not because I can't get girls. I'm no 10/10, but I could get girls if I wanted to, but I choose not to. But I'm just bitter toward them in general now
I'm a dyke so I honestly don't care much for penis obviously, but 5-7 seems to be a pretty good size to me.
Breasts can't be too small really if they fill a cup, anything past E is too much for me though.
Does it mean anything if a girl I am seeing wont let me pick her up from her house?
Every time I ask her out I say "Should I pick you up or would you rather meet there?" or something along those lines. Every time she says she'll just meet me there
You look pretty edgy. Become more social and hang out with friends and such to warm up to the normie life. That should get you more popular with girls. What does your hair look like atm?
>no quick reply box
>cute irish girl i have lab with
>barely 5', small as fuck, shy, the kinda girl i go for
>sits on opposite end of room, no chance to meet
>entire lab is fairly busy
>works and leaves with friends at end of lab, i leave with my group
>want to talk to her or get her number
How do I go about it? I mean it sounds so simple, but she's never alone and we have no chance to interact, so I just stare at her like I'm 15 and in puppy love.
You'd be surprised how many people are into this when I tell girls my fetishes (bellybutton/strapping them down damsil i n distress sort of thing) they're usually like, oh shit, will you choke me I love that.
Do guys really like women who play hard to get?
I've been talking with a couple guys, and it seems as I contact them more they become less responsive or start ignoring texts, even direct questions. The confusing thing is they make it clear they want to make plans at some point but then may ignore me when i ask when they want to hang out. Or, with another guy, I called him and he never returned the call even though we agreed that's the best way to talk to him.
I am fully aware people can be busy but I still usually get back to people when I have the time/energy to respond if I give half a shit about them. Are my expectations unrealistic here, should I give people more space in these situations?
>Do guys really like women who play hard to get?
Nope, that's a crock of shit. Either they don't dig you that much, or they're skettio boys with full pockets.
Or their phones are broken, what do I know. Check if their phones are broken.
I literally asked this question yesterday. The answer I got was when you're cuddling/chilling and the idea of sex is already there. So random hookups depending in the degree of your fetish is probably a no
I don't. I'm not trying to "get" anyone in the first place. I like my life and I put a lot of work into making it that way. I want to share it with people who will enjoy it too and hopefully add something to the experiences. That's not a job, though. It's not my duty or responsibility to share something nice with others. All I offer is an invitation.
If you're enthusiastic about that idea then feel free to call/text. Even better, reach out to me with more ideas. Just because I like my life doesn't mean I'm averse to the idea of growing it. Maybe there are guys out there who mistake eagerness with easiness, or they think that women are challenges to be conquered. You decide for yourself if you want to be with that kind of man. If you want to be with a guy like me, rest assured that the only challenge I see is making the most I can out of my life. The only thing your enthusiasm about me says is that you have good taste. Let me know if I've got what you want and I'll cue you in on the same.
Each student has an individual schedule, this is university. I have no idea what she takes or when. And she's never alone during the lab. It seems like such a middle school problem but I really want to get to know her without coming off bad.
Again degrees, if it's a pretty out the fetish you don't want to drop the ball seconds before she takes her panties off. She might dry up faster than the time we have to view gravitational waves.
Well, to me good sex has to be rough, so if they're not into things like that chances are I wont be that interested in them anyway! I guess my only advice to you would be to either meet people who are already aware of your kinks (i.e. through fetlife) or just take the risk telling them. To be fair, if you tell them and they're not into it, it doesn't have to be the death of your relationship. I've been with people who's kinks I'm not into, it doesn't mean I lose interest in them/am grossed out by them.
You mean you touch the belly? lick? Not sure if understood.
So, you only know her when in lab? Why have you neever seen her everywhere? Did you speak? At all? Never met?
Maybe ask her help on the same class sometime?
I asked a girl out for tomorrow.
I told her the date is at 1pm, and I will see her around 6am
Should I call her now to let her know where to meet, or should I let her know tomorrow morning when I see her?
As soon as possible, like as soon as it's clear we're gonna be sexual. Vanilla sex is shit sex, I'd rather have no sex desu, so I just lay all of my cards on the table. Or just meet people through fetlife, so I know they're down.
Yup, we haven't interacted really. Only know her in the lab. We had a lab a few weeks ago on blood perfusion from rats and I was watching her work. She looks cute as fuck and so focused, I guess I kinda fell for her.
Mmm, maybe I am ashame? My last boyfriend was very sweet, very charm. I was a good girlfriend for him, and we have good sex, no doubt!
But, I sometimes wish he would treat me bad. I don't know what is wrong. I fear he would think I am disgusting. Who want to treat their girlfriend bad? So I didn't tell him, even if I wanted him to do it.
You have someone now you can have rough sex with? I come from conservative family, I can't tell someone very new what I want to be treated in sex. :/
I don't know. maybe it's just the portrayal that you HAVE to have a girlfriend to be normal. It's just because it's like expected of you I don't like it. It's the same with like college. College is expected of you. Which I chose not to go. And I've gotten treated different because of it. Same with girls, I've had people treat me weird because I DONT want a girlfriend. and the one time I did want one, the girl took advantage of my feelings. So now i never want one again. And people talk down to me because of my choice
I guess. I'm just bitter toward females. Like in a work enviroment and normal situations is fine. But I don't like it when anything because more than that. Like when my friends drag me to bars and try too introduce me to girls. It always pisses me off. And they seem to get irritated because I've "turned down good opprotunities"
I'm the same with boys, I get you. It's annoying how people assume being single is something that everyone must not want to be. People don't understand that some people just don't want a relationship.
Well they're your friends, they assume because they want to get laid on weekends you ought to want that, too.
I don't get it either since I'm rather the same, but my girlfriends drag me along and try to introduce me to people too, that's how friends are I guess.
Exactly. And they piss me off because there was a girl I was really into. But they kept saying "you're going to marry this girl man!!" they said that shit so much, it actually effected my feelings toward her. Because I never want to get married or have kids, ever. And even though I really cared about this girl. Their pestering effected my thoughts.
Maybe that's another reason why I'm so bitter about this shit...
Yes! I'm exactly the same! The more my friends needled me about my ex, our relationship and our future etc the more I lost feeling for him before I eventually just dumped him. Good to know I'm not alone, guess we're just commitmentphobic.
I am, when it comes to girls. I get very bitter anytime girls is a topic of discussion. But literally the only time I'm around girls anyways is when I'm with them. So yeah, I'm just bitter
"Dude you're going to marry this girl!"
"You're One and Done! This is the girl for you"
"you can't say you won't get married, it WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY. But this is who it should be with!!"
"You say you won't ever have kids, BUT YOU WILL ONE DAY!! You'll love being a dad"
That shit just ate away at me. It caused me to lose some attraction toward her. We still talk. But it's not the same anymore. Fucking shit
So my girlfriends had both home and doctor's pregnancy tests done on her, all of which came back negative. But yet she still:
>hasn't had a period in almost 3 months
>her boobs are somewhat sore and sensitive, and have gotten slightly bigger
>experiences some stomach pain
>has gained about 10 lbs. in the past 2 months
Is there anything to be concerned about? Is she just gaining weight?
How can i subtley hinta girl that i like her. And when i say subtle i mean really subtle so if shit backfires i can play it off as a general compliment or whatever. Also how can i get gud at flirting?
>you shouldn't chase girls
You're right, i deginitely shouldn't since i have pretty much fobia-tier level of fear for rejection and such but i can't help my feelings and we've been friends for a longish time. Should i just try to suck it up and try to move on with my life then?
Girls, do you see it as sexual harassment if a guy tells you he thinks you look pretty? Do you see it as a bad thing in general?
Not as the first thing you say to a stranger, of course. I'm not THAT dense.
How do you get a girl to open up to you if she has trust issues and a traumatic past?
I've spent so much time with this girl, I've opened up to her so much myself already, I go out with her regularly, and I try to assure her continously that I trust her and am okay with her the way she is... but at times she still gives me the feeling that I'm troubling her. Most of the time her responses are short and cold, if any at all. In person she tells me a lot of "half stories", like she starts to tell something and just cuts it off as if she regrets bringing it up. The other day she gave me the deer-in-headlights look when we were just fooling around. It hurts, the idea that she's scared of me when I wasn't doing anything in particular.
It's been 6 months of regular contact now. Would it be awkward, inappropriate or confrontational to ask her feelings about the above, or ask her to trust me and that I don't mean any harm?
Holy fuck be assertive be a god damn man and don't use words like "snuggles" and the fact that you want to "just snuggle" is very feminine , off putting, serial killerish and just wierd .
Wtf. How is that weird? It's being caring. Isn't that what girls want?
Yeah I shoot guns, grill food, travel the world, workout, and work hard. That's man stuff, what is wrong with being sweet and caring too?
If she's having a bad day, why would it be bad if I wanted to cuddle with her on the couch and watch a movie??
>if your life ends here
Well gg i guess. Any protips on overcoming said not-even-sensible fear? Asking girl(s) out? It's not the act itself that frightens me but rather the potential backlash of
>omg anon just asked me out what a faggot bahahahaha
No, anyone who really thinks that is sexual harassment is in idiot/radical feminist. I like it when anyone says I look pretty given, as you've said, they're not some creepy stranger on the street.
It isn't weird, they are being dicks without knowing a thing about you. In their defense, however, you are asking on 4chan. If you want more sensible answers, reddit may be your cup of tea.
How much history do you have with this person. Have you ever been in situations even remotely 'close' to romantic.
Your inherent problem is your fear of rejection, and dating in general is a mixed game of rejections and acceptance.
No, after six months of dating, or whatever it is you two are, it's not unrealistic to expect some measure of clear answers. You probably won't get any, though.
Betrayal, depending on the degree, can undermine a person's future relationships by a ton. For some, the distrust never goes away, but lingers continuously as a soothing, soft voice in the back of your mind, readier than ever to taunt you when you realize you've been fooled, again.
I think you should consider your own goals with this person, because people with deep-seated trust issues are often very complex, and there's never a set amount of 'time' when they will become 'whole' again. Establishing trust with a person badly betrayed isn't a matter of time, it's a life-long requirement, like sex.
I may sound like I'm being rude but I do want to help you. It's a tough journey for everyone but you sound like you have some complex routed into your psyche. It's going to take alot of Epiphany's . etc. Things to keep in mind:
-no one actually cares about you because typically they're focused on themselves and THEIR appearance. So when you do something silly or embarrassing, if someone does notice they'll forget pretty damn quick.
-if you dont take risks you'll be doomed to post on 4chan from your bedroom that day.
-every time you get rejected (which you will alot, we all do) take that as an opportunity to ask yourself why that happened and correct yourself accordingly.
-if you're a funny guy use that to your advantage, every single time you get rejected make a joke about it. Laughter is the single best medicine. When you get rejected go tell a friend and laugh about it say something funny about it and try to see some humor.
Would you move across the country for your boyfriend? I've been in a LDR for a year now and its wearing me thin. I need her up here or I'm going to end it. How do I talk to her about this?
For instance here I'll make light of something soul crushing for me: my gf of 3 years left me for some stinky hippy and turned her Into a weirdo druggy. I seen them walking around togetegr skinny as hell so I offered them my half eaten sandwich and told her bf that he doesn't look a day over 72 and smiled, then went and talked to some cute girls. It made an other wise gut wrenching situation a little bit lighter and easier to pallet. (She came running back begging for me but that's a different story)
so, there is this girl that I've been friends with since September. We have literally talked every single day since then. We started out as just friends with common interests. But it's clear that after time we both developed some feelings for each other. It's very clear, she goes out of her way for me all the time. Just a few weeks ago I was in a terrible mood. And she stayed up all night just to talk with me because she didn't want me to feel like shit. I've done the same for her. Anyways, I talked to her yesterday about a relationship. But she's been resistant. She told me she's really scared that she would hurt me, and that I deserve better. She said that if she hurt me, she doesn't think she could live with herself because I'm so important to her.
God dammit this makes me feel bad. We both like each other. But she is worried I'll get hurt. So we should just try to suppress our feelings??
She sent me a massive message explain it the other day. God it makes me so angry (not at her, just the situation). I like this girl so much, and she likes me too. But we can't date because of this
Almost moved across the country for my LDR gf. Then it just disappeared. As it always does. You're learning a very valuable lesson that LDR does NOT work no matter how much you think you're special soulmates. Is this coming from bitterness? Maybe, do you ever hear about LDR working? Nope.
I've been around long enough and heard those exact words, and have had girls choose me over other guys and they always use those exact words. I hate to say it but you gotta move on, it means she's only interested as friends . It's really hard to be able to tell the difference between "feelings" for one another, and she likes talking to you as a friend. You'll learn the difference soon enough after it happens 100 more times, move on man it's hard! But you got this anon :)
Of course there's exceptions, one person every couple weeks.wins the lottery. But the fact of the matter is statistics point in one direction. And when it comes to an LDR working its similar to winning the lottery. The only way LDR can work is if you see each other every other week or so. I was so I. love with my LDR girl and was broken after it was over untill I realized she was just pixels and in my head. The good news about the end of an LDR is they're much easier to get over.
But she's even told me, multiple times that she liked me! We work very opposite schedules, but I'll get texts from her all the time before I go to bed saying
"hey! I hope get great rest, I'll be thinking of you and will await your message when you wake up! :) imagine that I'm in your bed with you, with my hands on your chest. And you will sleep peacefully! :)"
That seems like feelings to me... She told me that she makes bad decisions, and couldn't bare it if I got hurt. But THIS hurts me..
Boring shut-in here:
How interesting is everyone's life supposed to be? For some reason it always seems like people just have things going on constantly. How am I supposed to seem like I'm more interesting if all I'm doing is like a small amount of one or two hobbies tops, and then working or sleeping the rest of the time?
I'm an alpha female with a beta boyfriend. It's really nice. He's smaller than me and easy to dominate in bed. His nervous and caring personality is adorable.
Of course, there are always the /r9k/ betas who are almost more entitled than alpha males. I'd never consider one of them.
I dont know what that is. But she doesnt do anything. Like her nipples get hard but she just continues to watch whatever we have on.
She like moves and squeaks at times but it seems more like something tickled her. Or shes playing it off as being tickled.
Depends on how long you have known her, and what kind of relationship you have.
One exception is if you dont know her at all it is near the end of your first conversation with her
You have to be skilled at it. Casually ask her wheres her boyfriend at. And joke that theres no way she doesnt have one. Works every time for me.
>why dont you get your bf to do X
>you can invite your bf to do Y
or if Im flirting
>Wheres your bf at
Are you her friend? Do you flirt with her? Is there any sexual tension between you two? Does she ask you to do stuff for her and not return the favor? If you teased her right now would she cut you out of her life?
Answer the questions and Ill tell you if you are in the friend zone. Just know there is only 1 solution.
How do i stop getting "triggered" by guys who say they're into flat chests, chubby stomachs, small asses, etc? Like all the things that are the opposite of what is commonly known as "sexy"? I just get flustered really quickly and want to say "stop being a disgusting creep and just fap to perfect blondes with triple D's and thigh gaps like you're supposed to"
It makes me sound extremely salty but I actually love all body types myself, and as a bisexual I have no problem with hot pornstars--they don't intimidate or offend me. Not a feminist, not an SJW, not a man hater. So what the hell?
She hasn't said anything like that to me.
I think that we are sorta friends, depending on if you think that you can really truly befriend someone after only interacting with them for about 3 or so weeks at most.
I don't flirt with her. Hell, I don't even know what flirting is. I wouldn't also be able to detect any sexual tension, as I have never experienced such thing.
I don't really know how to answer the rest of the questions, what sort of stuff do you mean, and what do you mean by teasing in this context?
Thus far we have been mostly watching dvds together at evenings, she has even asked me to come watch stuff with her few times, and as I said before, last Thursday we went to movies together. If you consider merely going to a movie with a member of the opposite sex to be a date, it was the first date I have ever been on. Though again, I dunno if merely just going to movies really count.
just find a place in your conversation to add somethingh along the lines of
"By the way, I've been meaning to ask, do you have a boyfriend?"
If you are embarrassed, do it right before you leave so you dont have to sit in awkward moments if she says yes afterwards. But nothing will happen if you dont at least ask
Dunno what to tell you, different guys like different things, the perfect body to you might not be to them.
Surely you've been attracted to people that didn't look like underwear models?
Usually lean towards beta guys I guess
I make the first moves and initiate most things. I also make most plans and decide where we go, what we eat, or what we do. It makes me seem like a control freak but really I just like to get stuff done.
It depends. Is she a bad texter?
Some girls just suck at remembering when to text. Just wait for them, they will text you when they feel like it.
That or she is legitimately not interested, but don't make that assumption just yet.
If he wants it then yeah go for it. But with my social experiences, guys are more used to girls being dominated. Sometimes the tough guys like tough girls though. So maybe if you find a guy who is tough they may have a sexual fantasy of being choked by a tough girl
True thigh-gaps (present at a healthy weight) a are a consequence of wide hips though. That's why they are attractive. No gap usually means narrow hips and/or too fat.
Bring it up slowly. Give her a foot massage or tickle her feet a couple of times. Tell her she has beautiful feet. Later on when she has grown use to it tell her about your foot fetish.
Or she probably already figured out you have one the first day. In which case she hasn't stopped you so you are good.
Move your hand that way. Gauge how she reacts. Maybe just ask a simple yes? as you go for it.
I think you will be fine. Just make sure she doesn't feel pressured. We don't know anything about your relationship.
But peggy you like girls like this. It's impossible at that extreme.
I'm a bit ready to just tell her. I have a close friend. She and I are closer than most of the people we talk to. I asked her out and she said yes, we had a nice date and everything went great. After that though, we did nothing. Everything went back to normal. I mean, she was a little more close to me than usual, but we are really doing anything different.
But something happend, she wants to talk. When i tried to ask her what its about, she said not to be too curious about it. It's the weekend and she hasn't said anything for days. She is a bad texter so i know she just forgot. But I'm a little on the edge right now. Should I just break the ice and tell her I have feelings for her? Or should I just wait and see what she has to say. I really don't want to rush her, who know she might want to take things to the next level. Or it could be bad, like she wants to stop talking or something.
Do thick muscles actually turn you on?
I've been in the gym for a few months now and I've earned a thicker build.
Does that matter?
Gay men, straight women, either, does it matter?
I've enjoyed being what I am. It feels good just doing it.
But is there any other benefits?
I know I might. But I cant tell.
If I ask and she says no things will be awkward and she probably wont let me touch her at all.
Its also why I dont want to just go for it. Its not something we talk about or really acknowledge that I do.
Just a really good friend that somehow I've gotten here with.
Thick enough to be noticeable.
I have three separate bulges between my biceps, shoulders, and pecs.
They should be larger, but the difference is noticeable.
I want to get bigger.
I think I need to.
Do people notice?
I can't really notice.
I keep wanting a smaller girl.
Will she mind if I can only bench my own body weight?
Might be awkward for a bit.
You will regret it if you never try. Besides sex vs heavy petting. I know what I'd want.
You could try rubbing your dick against her see how she reacts. Oops hehe
How much do you weigh. You dont sound like you have thick muscles honestly. Im 175lb and bench 235lb. 185lb for reps. And Im 6'. You sound more scrawny than anything because Im a twig. You might weigh 190 which is the weight you need to look decently muscular at our height, but why the fuck can you only bench your body weight then.
Well its heavy petting vs nothing at all. When I think of it that way I dont want to push my luck.
Ive been looking for a way to do the dick thing. But a good way hasnt come up. I mean shes definitely felt it before with other body parts. Shes put her leg over my erection when weve been laying down a few times. But we never talk about it so theres no clear boundary.
Forgot about how important age was. In hs I was 160 and fairly muscular comparatively so women flocked to me because of ottermode. In college I had to get my weight up. Ive been 180lb pure muscle before but that was in season.
Dude she wants it.
Here's something, it's not the best suggestion, but it's just something to think about.
On /b/ they have those "why haven't we fucked yet?" Threads. Where they send texts to a close friend and deliver what happens. I've done one and got laid the next day.
Like I said not the best idea but it's just something interesting if you are up for it.
Femanons, is it normal for a shy and quiet chick to snub my text?
I mean, they will completely smitten by me IRL, but is it a thing where they are too shy to ever want to hang out off of campus? (Community College.)
I mean, I can talk to whoever, but the outgoing girls are just 'meh' to me; I want that unique brain of an introverted woman.
Yeah Id be more hurt by my brother than her actually. Way more hurt by him. Its pretty much the equivalent of a home wrecker. But in this case a family wrecker. Theyre a bad person, but that doesnt change the fact that the person you trusted still betrayed you. Just worse with family since theyre family and now thats ruined.
I would hope he wouldn't. But I completely understand, I'd feel the same way if my Sister tried to date my most recent ex. I'm also nervous that if/when the brother is up for the date (he said "sure, but not right now") that my ex - his brother - would use out dated information on me to fuck it all up.
Hmm.. I don't want that to happen between them or anyone else in the family. Maybe that's why he said "NOT NOW" because I guess he wanted to discuss it with the family, get his shit in a group and go from there.
Anybody care to answer?
This shit happens a lot. I might come off almost as a chad. (Think half nerd half jock) I flirt a lot and speak my mind.
Should I say fuck it and date the dolled up, outgoing Stacies that don't interest me in the least bit? They obviously like the attention.
Fuck that, I want the awkward girl next door type that only showcases her personality.
Simply let's hang out when you're done studying. She told me when she was free, but I got the "suddenly has to study" type of blowoff and then no reply to weekend stuff.
Now she seems geniune and is a total nerd with her everything and has a lot to study, but suddenly done with talking?
But then again, I typed a paragraph break, so it probably didn't get to her except notifications... Screw that, I had a blast today and she probably saw it.
Weird since she text'd me at midnight just a few nights ago.
OkCupid has a question on it as part of its profile creation which is something like:
>Are you willing to invite a date to bed just to cuddle and not have sex?
Is this something women like? I wouldn't mind this, but there's no way to suggest it that doesn't come across as "come into my rape dungeon".
If you ask out every girl you think is cute, I feel like you're almost guarantee to get a cute girl to go on a date with you at some point. Why don't people do this? If you go out and ask for 5 numbers a day statistically speaking you're going to get one bite at some point , right? (Provided you're not autistic about it and are at the very least average looking)
The more you ask every woman out, the more desperate you come across, which decreases your chances of getting a yes. Otherwise, there are far too many variables to say yes, your question assumes that there is a certain consistent probability that a woman will say yes.
what about those pick up guys who say quite literally, the reason why i'm able to ask for any girls number and get it. Is because i've asked so many girls and been rejected so many times that I do not give a single care.
>having raunchy text convo with a girl I met
>we're going back and forth with photos, suggestive texts, and more
>in my horniness say "I want to cum inside you"
>hasn't replied in four days
so, i seem to not have much trouble getting girls interested in me, but for some reason i don't know how to be romantic or intimate with the opposite sex.
I've had a girlfriend once. I asked a chick i was crushing on to be my girl and she said yeah, and then i was so socially retarded i just didn't know how to act around her, and after about a week of me saying almost nothing to her we broke up. I suspect i may be mildly autistic and just good at hiding it or something.
I have no issues when i'm not at the girlfriend/boyfriend point yet. I can be flirty, can talk openly with chicks even if i like them, et cetera. The second shit gets official i fall apart and am unable to function towards that person socially.
I don't even really know what i'm asking. Am i retarded or just shy? How to get over this odd issue? It'd be nice to find someone but i honestly don't think i'll go any further than one night stands because of this issue.
I'm kind of pissed off. So I was just talking to a friend, and I told my friend that I don't give a shit about sex anymore. It's been 4 years for me, and I'm past the point of caring. If I don't have sex for another 5-10-15+ years. I don't fucking care. Anyways, he was so shocked he went and told my other friends. And now my phone is blowing up with texts saying "WTF MAN!!!????"
why the fuck is this such a big fucking ddddeal?? God dammit.
Risky how. Its really hard for straight males to get stds. Its why normally you are assumed homosexual if you get certain ones. For women they are at a MUCH greater risk of getting an stds. So you will most likely be fine other than if you both have cuts on your genitals. She will probably be fine as well unless you ooze liters of precum and some got inside her. Although women often have cuts down there from shaving and in grown hairs so her chances are a little higher.
If you are talking about pregnancy, lets start by assuming that if you had sex she would get pregnant because the starting percentage is already ridiculously low. Now if you have not peed since the last time you ejaculated, and your precum happens to get inside of her. Theres like a 1 in a million chance of her getting pregnant. Add that on top of the 1 in a thousand chance of her getting pregnant already and you are fine.
Bro its straight science. Compared to women and homosexual men straight males have it easy because you dont have fluids being pumped into you for your body to absorb. Its more likely that you get an std from having micro cuts on your dick that vaginal fluids going into your urethra.
Look it up yourself. Its been WAY too long since Ive seen the statistics but part of my math major was modeling the spread of syphilis in my city and homosexual males were the HIGHEST spread rate. I think heterosexual men are like 10% chance to contract but I could be bs that number. But its way lower than women and homosexual males.
Firstly, when you get older, moat peoplw don't "ask somebody to be their bf/gf". They just go on dates, get to know each other, see how good of a match thei are and if both are still sticking around amd have been commited and willing to take those next steps, at some point it's just clear that you are in a relationship. There are couples that "have the talk", but if you push this it might drive thw other person away.
Take me and my bf for example: we knew each other before we started dating. We have a group of friends we share. When we started doing stuff on out own iow going on dates, we didn't label it. We just went with what felt right. We went for walks, the movies, dinner, we talked for hours, we bantered, we had some silly conversations and some pretty serious ones. We also kissed, mde out and eventually had sex. Inbetween dates we texted or called. After about 6 weeks of this, it was christmas and there was a gathering of that group og friends we share. We went there as a couple (arriving together, occasionaly hold hands, or other small pda, leaving together) and that made it official that we're now dating seriously.
The main goal in the beginning of a relationship is to get to know each other in order to make a conscious decision about the compatibility of the two of you. You can't go and ask somebody to be your gf/bf if you don't even know if you have similar values, or goals... That's what dating is for. You go on dates, you talk a ton, you see if you are a match on all levels. Emotional, intellectual, physical, have similar values (for example if relationships should be exclusive or not, if getting black out drunk on weekends is fun or inacceptable, and so on), and maybe even share goals like having a family or not. What use is it to pressure somebody to call you his gf/bf if you don't know any of this? You don't even know if any of you WANTS to spend the rest of their lifes whit the other.
>According to the CDC, sexually active gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM) are at greater risk for acquiring STDs. In addition to an increased risk of syphilis, over 50% of all new HIV infections occur in MSM.
Dont feel like looking up the chance of contraction, but this is how it effects populations.
Guys (or girls),
I have a guy friend who is best friends with his crush. He hangs out with his crush, her boyfriend, and a group of friends, but he always feels like the third wheel. He also has times where he just hangs out with his crush, and her boyfriend.
He "jokes" about being his crush's boyfriend if things don't work out. Even though he doesn't tell me, I know he gets upset about the hangouts, about being left out and saying things like "they're perfect together". It seems like he's torturing himself with waiting for a chance, or something.
How can I help him out in this situation?
>A woman’s anatomy alone makes her more vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections than a man. Unlike the relatively thick skin of the penis, a woman’s vagina is covered by a thin, more delicate mucous membrane that more easily allows viruses and bacteria to pass through—and cause infection. The vagina is also a warm and moist environment, the type of environment that encourages bacteria to grow.
Holy shit you are pathetic
It's rather uncommon. I have had a time where i had no sex for almost 5 years. My friends and family started to be really worried about me. When i look at my other female friends, they usually just wait a few weeks/months till they atleast engage in a ons if not pick up a new relatioship. For me, the reason was that i had failed miserably in two relationships. I realized that i was way too immature and "fucked up" to have a good relationship. So i took some time off, cause i knew that this pattern would continue and i didn't want to end up being alone with a record of tons of failed relationships and some ons's
inbetween. I took this timw to focus on getting some sane values, find out what i even look for, what my goals are and so on. I also went to therapy. Then at some point i felt ready again. I wasn't the same person as 5 years prior by any means. And i met a wonderful guy that swept me off my feet and seemed to be a really good match. Now we're dating and i'm extremely happy i didn't bother with sex for that time inbetween. It would have been pretty pointless. You do you anon. Just tell them to mind their own business.
>you do you
I hear what you are saying. It's just shitty because my friends always are finding girls. Whenever we hang out they like to go to the bar and find girls. And I just sit there and drink. They've tried to get girls to talk to me. But I just tell them to go away. I literally do not care anymore. And I always get negative responses from my friends. Like you said, I think they worry for me. But I don't know what to tell them. I don't care about sex/relationships, or anything anymore. I'm done.