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perfect boyfriend
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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I'm finally getting a girlfriend for the first time in my life in my 20s

what can I do to be the best boyfriend I can be for her?

she's a quiet, shy, introverted person
>>
Don't rush anything. If she's an introvert, don't force her to do anything and don't only do things you want to do. That stuff comes later on. Try to just spend time with her and get to know each other. Find out what she likes and get to know her. This is the time that you take to grow in each other.
>>
>>16877907

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING
DONT OVERTHINK THINGS
>>
Don't be a jealous boyfriend.
Don't be passive aggressive.
Don't be overly clingy.
Don't keep score (i.e. doing nice things for her expecting things in return).

Those are the most common pathetic boyfriend behaviours, especially among 'nice' guys. I've been through all of them before and it's easy to fall into them without noticing. If you don't do those things, and just make your time together fun and enjoyable, then you're already ahead of most boyfriends.
>>
Do not force yourself to be something you're not, because putting on a mask can be very tiresome and you'll eventually quit it. Then she'll say you changed and be disappointed. So be nothing but your most honest self.
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>>16877951
Not op, but I'm a girl and I have a lot of trouble with these. How do I not be a cunt and do shit like this? Especially being jealous?
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>>16877951
how do you avoid being clingy when you really really love somebody and want to be around them
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>>16877907
>what can I do to be the best boyfriend I can be for her?

Remember that "yes" does not always mean yes.
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>>16877907
You're required by law to fuck up your first time. Learn through experience like everyone else. After you two inevitably break up use that as a learning experience for your next one.
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>>16877979
By getting some self respect and learning that you shouldn't take relationships THAT seriously.
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>>16878094
>You're required by law to fuck up your first time.

Wat
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>>16877907
Don't be a pussy

Focus on you not her

There is no bank for good deeds so there's no forcing them.

Don't be a pussy

If no pussy go get it else where. Break up if you want or cheat neither matters as long as your cool with it.but you should break up.

She'll try to change you just say a firm no.

>> babe don't work out today stay and let's fuck.

Naw I gots to work out I'll fuck you after.

Don't be a pussy.


Talk to her. Communication is key.

For you to be good to her she's got to earn it.

You probably like her more than herself.so she's got to work for love. She's got to work not you she does again I keep repeating this she's got to work.
>>
>>16878094
its also her first relationship and we're both virgins too
>>
>>16877907
>Quiet, Shy, Introverted

It's going to end sooner or later, trust me OP, I'm like that except I'm a dude
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>>16878346
Oh well this changes things youre both pure this has a chance of working and I hope it does, god speed anon, learn and grow together
>>
>>16878382
thanks, its why I want to be the best boyfriend I can be for her I would be fine with only ever dating her and getting married/having children together some day
>>
>>16878407
If neither of you have any idea what you're doing or what you want the relationship will be a disaster.
>>
>>16877979
you train yourself
>>
>>16877979
by being a person who actually has shit going on in their life and not filling it up with one person
>>
>>16877907
>>16878346
>>16878407
Daww you're exactly like my boyfriend and me. I bet you guys will be very happy. Just showing desire to put forth effort into yourself and your relationship is huge.

Here are some other tips that I usually post as general relationship advice:

Everyone has physical, mental, and emotional needs. A compatible partnership mutually satisfies all three of them. A life partner will be your best friend, you'll love them as much as family, and they will be incredibly sexy to you.

Healthy relationships are between people who are happy single but happier together.

A relationship shouldn't be excruciatingly hard, stressful, or unenjoyable, but it does take constant and consistent work and effort. In the end, your partner should be taking away stress and adding happiness in your life, not the opposite.

Opposites may attract, but like lasts. People who are more similar tend to be more compatible.

People can only change themselves, for themselves, by themselves.
Don't get into a relationship with someone only to then try to change them.

Build your relationship upon the five pillars of trust, honesty, openness, communication, and respect (this means respect for yourself too!)

Talk about EVERYTHING. Get to know each other as fully and completely as possible.

There is no excuse for cheating. Stay far away from people who aren't faithful. Be faithful yourself.

If a problem arises, communicate it calmly and openly, work together to find a compromise that satisfies both parties. (If that's not possible, acknowledge that you two are incompatible and part ways maturely)
(1/2)
>>
>>16878487
(2/2)
Arguments do not have to (and, in my opinion, should not) be part of a relationship. You can have calm and productive discussions by
-avoiding criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling
-avoiding hyperbolic statements (always, never, every time, ect.)
-using "I feel" statements
-avoiding raising your voice, interrupting, being rude, disrespectful, insulting, or overly emotional
-if you or your partner are too emotional at the moment to have a calm discussion, tell each other this and take time alone until you are ready

Don't go to bed upset. Be able to genuinely tell your partner you love them before you say goodnight.

Take things slowly. Do not ever rush into things like moving in or marriage, or even sex.

Date seriously for at least three years before you consider marriage.

There is a chance of pregnancy every time you have sex. Do your very best to reduce your risk as much as possible, but be prepared for pregnancy. If you aren't ready to be in the position to deal with that, then you aren't ready to have sex.
>>
>>16878488
thanks

also
>Be able to genuinely tell your partner you love them before you say goodnight.
I think I'm going to try to make it my goal to kiss and hug her every single day
>>
Act distant and hit on other girls in front of her to make her insecure and desperate to please you.
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>>16878594
she's already really into me as far as I know and I dont want to do any kind of tricks or to hurt her
>>
any other good tips on what I can do for her?
>>
>>16877949
this, for fucks sakes.
>>
>>16877907
listen
>>
>>16877963
Just don't do them how hard is that?
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>>16879208
you can't just decide not to feel jealous
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>>16877963
don't worry about it you are on easy mode and men put up with your shit because you have vagina. men will still date you even if you are insecure,jealous or whatever defect you have. heck you can even cheat and you cuck boyfriend will still forgive you.
>>
>>16879251
yeah and if he doesnt just go online and 5 who do
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>>16878487
>>16878488
this is pretty solid advice
>>
>>16877907

>what can I do to be the best boyfriend I can be for her?

build a physique like this, fuck her regularly (and well), whenever she gets upset make her a seasoned chicken salad and then fuck her some more

enjoy your healthy 5+ year relationship
>>
>>16877907
Cheat on her. Girls live alphas
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>>16879493
also make millions of $$$
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>>16879501
>also make millions of $$$
if OP actually did this and

>>16879493
he could fuck his GF's mother and she wouldn't leave him

:3
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>>16879496
this, the more abusive and shitty of a bf the more she'll self rationalize that you're alpha and will stay with you forever
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>>16879555
the sad thing is this is actually practical and sound advice
>>
>>16879558
and the more you tend to her needs the more she'll think you're desperate to keep her which signals weakness and turns her off
>>
Be there and supportive, but always remember you are two individuals still. So for the love of fuck let each other have some fucking personal space.
>>
>>16879563

>and the more you tend to her needs
being a juicy confident and sexually powerful alpha tends to her primal needs

being a suckling m'lady beta does not
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>>16879555
this, make sure to beat her up a little bit too
>>
>>16879555
>>16879592
/misplaced feminist sarcasm
>>
>>16879596
its actually just great advice
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>>16878094

>By law

I married the first woman I ever dated. Been together for 5 years now, living together for 4.
>>
>>16879671
>he got married

Incoming suicide at 40
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>>16877951
Best advice i have seen on his board since a lot
I would say to be sweet a little bit too
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>>16879673

Nah, we're good for each other. My wife has a great deal of similar interests/goals to myself. We operate well as a couple and as friends. We like to watch football on the weekends, play video games together, but we still have individual interests too. I enjoy my job and working on cars, she enjoys her job and likes to bake/cook/fuck around with food.

It's really nice waking up every morning to her and knowing that we're there for each other.
>>
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>>16879691
>Nah, we're good for each other.
>Meanwhile, at OP's house while he's away at work
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>>16879696

Jokes on you nerd, I work from home. :^)

>Also she borderline /pol/.
>>
Its good that you want to put an effort in for your girl.

But don't try too hard to be perfect. Its actually unattractive in some cases. Try to be the best you can be, but always be you.
>>
>>16879704
plus one day you'll stop trying and if it was a deal breaker it will wreck the relationship
Thread replies: 52
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