I'm jealous of my boyfriend because he has sexual things he likes and I can't seem to enjoy anything during sex except to masturbate, which just makes me feel like there's no point having sex except to please him.
We've run out of things to try sexually so at this point sex is just something for him to enjoy. And he's probably fucking other girls too so the only thing I'm getting out of sex is exposure to diseases.
How do I stop being jealous of his sexual enjoyment?
But I've done everything I can to increase my pleasure
A couple of times
I'm definitely not asexual I have a really high sex drive I masturbated 3-4 times a day (although I've cut back to once a day recently)
But I can't get any satisfaction.
I've fucked loads of experienced guys with reputations who get really shocked when I don't respond to what they do to me.
as far as i know, you can be asexual and masturbate. it's just... you don't really feel like having sex, or you don't get anything out of sex. so you just masturbate.
do you produce enough lubrication during sex? enough to feel confortable?
No money for that shit
I'm physicaly/sexually attracted to people, I fantasise about sex, I get turned on by things, if I'm relaxed enough I might even get wet, but usually I just use lube if they're really big. I'm pretty loose so usually lube isn't necessary
You seem to have 2 goals here, as far as I can see:
1- Accept your feelings right now, there isn't much to change your emotional response to something in the short term. However you need to realize it's decidedly unfair to react negatively to your bf trying to enjoy himself. If you care about him you should want to make him happy even if sex isn't anything special for you.
2- Try to find out why sex isn't exciting to you. That's pretty tough for anyone here to say but I'm sure there are professionals out there with something of value to say. Off the bat what I can think to ask is: Since you seem to enjoy masturbating; have you tried asking your bf to jerk you off the way you do to yourself?
i get the feeling this is something you should tell to a professional. if you manage to get wet when you masturbate, but not when you are having sex, then it's possibly something psychological. on the other hand if you have trouble getting wet even when you masturbate, then it's something physical
But sex IS special to me. The first time I was touched sexually when I was 12 felt really good, I liked being close to someone like that, but then I didn't have sexual contact with anyone for 9 years and during those years I craved intimacy and to have that feeling again.
But no matter how hard I try I can't feel it.
>have you tried asking your bf to jerk you off the way you do to yourself?
Yes, he does that occasionally but I can do it myself so it just feels pointless.
I don't need it I usually touch myself and watch porn before sex to get wet, since I don't really respond to foreplay
Who said I was in love with him? He's my boyfriend not my husband
Am I not allowed to think of myself now and then? Is it evil to feel envious sometimes?
(for clarity I am >>16877826)
You're kind of reminding me of myself a little bit. I sometimes fail to shut my brain off when getting sexual and this can lead to overthinking things and feeling out of the moment.
There is no point to sex except to give pleasure and receive pleasure, enhanced when it's with someone you love, and that lack of perspective may be part of the problem. A good perspective if you really need a point so to speak is that your bf wants you to feel good, and would do whatever you want to make that happen (I hope he would at least). Maybe it can help if he focuses on you at first, Maybe you just need to feel special and like that it's all about you for a bit. Do you communicate well in bed?
>dating someone you're not interested in
Jesus christ, lol. asshole AND a retard, I see. You think that has anything to do with why you're not sexually aroused by him? Dump him and date someone you're interested in, you stupid fuck.
...I kind of can't even believe it's possible to be this stupid
I'm a bit confused, you said
>I'm jealous of my boyfriend because he has sexual things he likes and I can't seem to enjoy anything during sex except to masturbate
you also say
>But I've done everything I can to increase my pleasure
Then you say
>I don't need it I usually touch myself and watch porn before sex to get wet, since I don't really respond to foreplay
So let me see if I got this right.
You want to enjoy sex with your boyfriend At the moment you don't
You're ok with masturbating.
Why not take the female viagra then?
But the only pleasure I'm receiving from being jerked off is the same unsatisfying pleasure I get from masturbating by myself, making the whole thing a waste of time. I want the kind of pleasure that he gets from sex, which is much more than what he gets from fapping.
We've had sessions where the focus is all on me and that's nice, although nothing he tries is successful.
If you have a caring understanding BF and you explain things properly to him, maybe you can remove the emphasis from sex and put on the foreplay. There are heaps of ways for two people to get off without sex. Explore other things and experiment. It's understandable that sex can become a bore if you do it too much the same way.
I'm male and I'm similar to you anon. I find it hard to get off with just intercourse and I now enjoy giving pleasure from massages, fingering, kissing, biting, spanking, bondage, and even just dirty talk. Abstain for a while and let the desire build up again. You owe it to yourself.
If he doesn't understand and goes to fuck other women then he only has one thing on his mind. You are more than just a vagina to penetrate.
> The first time I was touched sexually when I was 12 felt really good
Oh GOD it's you again. I had a feeling. You make a thread like, what, every week?
Look, nobody here can fix your broken snatch (or brain).
Being interested in someone and being in love with someone are two different things.
Yes I've been in love before, twice, I wasn't in a relationship with those guys though they were friends
Because you're meant to fall in love while you're dating them?
Female viagra, something that gets you wet? I can get wet before sex without taking chemicals, just not from another person's touch
I wish it was as simple as experimenting. We've run out of things to experiment with and explore.
It's not his fault, no one has ever found a way to please me.
i don't think dryness is normal in a young person. maybe you should check some other forum, just in case. they'll probably tell you to go to a therapist, but who knows. either way i wish you good luck!
Then I believe this to be the problem. As much as people try to separate the two, sex is extremely intertwined with emotion and bonding, especially for women. You probably need that emotional and psychological stimulation to feel pleasure.
Two things I'm curious about:
>same unsatisfying pleasure I get from masturbating
1- Is masturbating really not that good to you? Can you make yourself orgasm? Has he ever made you orgasm?
2- I can make myself cum much faster from masturbating than sex, that's just the nature of knowing one's own body. I'm not gonna claim to be some sex guru but for me a lot of the added pleasure is from the sensual nature of the experience and taking one's time. Not to be needlessly graphic but is the sensation of a man inside you not stimulating enough? Or is it the sensual and emotional spark that is lacking?
If this is all rooted in the physical for you I think it would be a good idea to invest in professional advice. This could be related to nerves, blood flow, or a million other things we could never find out in this thread.
I want to add to what I said because if it isn't entirely physical to you then >>16877994 is on the right track. You need to form an emotional bond with someone before you will get what you need sexually from someone.
I'm no expert on female viagra, it's rather new but it does more than make you wet. It mentally puts you in the mood for sex so you might enjoy it more.
If you want to enjoy sex why not take it? What's the worst that could happen? You get wet when you take it and the sex is exactly the same?
How many of these are you, OP?