Okay so, I'm confused with myself.
I find women visually appealing. I masturbate while thinking of their bodies quite frequently. I like to touch their bodies too, and I'm not a virgin.
Now thats all well and good, but here's where my confusion sets in. Not once in my entire 3 year relationship (2.5 of which I lived with her) did I initiate sex. She was always dtf, and constantly threw herself at me, but most of the time I would turn her down. We would go months at a time without sex, and it didn't bother me. She on the other hand, would feel sad/unnatractive which I understand, so most of the times we had sex was just out of pity for her.
Undoubtedly, this led to us breaking up a few months back. I'm not looking to get her back or anything, I just wanna know what's wrong with me. I'm a 21 year old dude who had an endless supply of pussy and I didn't want it.
Am I asexual? Something else? Retarded? Thoughts?
Picture entirely unrelated
If you you masturbate regularly, find naked bodies sexually arousing and generally have sexual thoughts, you're not an asexual. Not wanting to fuck as often as others, or being disinterested in the act itself just means you have a low sexual drive.
There can be various reasons for why that is.
I hadn't considered the possibility of just having a low drive. That may be it, but other experiences make me question that. Even if I had a low drive, I would still take the initiative sometimes right? But for me sex was always a chore, rather than something to enjoy.
maybe you just didn't have any sexual chemistry with her? idk my dude. if you guys dated surely there must have been something there, but sometimes you can be attracted to someone without having sexual feelings for them.
Whenever we did it, she was always really into it, and I would get her off. Her face would be red, she was sweaty, and breathing hard by the end of it. I didn't feel any excitement though. I just wanted her to feel good.
sounds to me like you just got bored. maybe she wasnt hot. maybe she was hot but wasnt your 'type'. maybe after six months you just got bored (which is normal with frequent sex) and after that you just thought that how it was towards the end was how it was all along
i think ur wrong. sure we can be down to bang if someone seduces us a couple times, but men grow tired of their wives or even their gfs for a reason.
ive been fucking the same girl for six months and i have to concentrate on getting an erection for her. strangers get me off immediately.
Hm, that very well may be a possibility, but I feel the same way about all women now. I was propositioned to have sex recently by a friend who I've had since high school. I turned her down too. I told her that I wasn't comfortable fucking her if I wasn't dating her, but that was a lie, both to her and myself.
I just honestly felt like it was a nuisance.
I never thought of libido and attraction as separate before. When put that way, you very well may be right.
I'm probably asexual.
Karma sure is a bitch. I used to believe that asexuals weren't actually a thing, and that it was just people who were scared of sex due to past trauma, or just resigned themselves to loneliness because they were unfuckable. And now here I am. Damn.
interesting. you may just be some sort of less sexual person. how often DO you masturbate?
you seem to be an anomaly. my recommendation is just to do what you want. relationships end over a multitude of reasons, so dont be afraid to try one out just cuz ur worried you might not sex her enough.
im sure you can find agirl who just wants to bang infrequently anyways.
I loved her with all my heart. You're only getting a look into our sex life, but we were together for 3 years even with those issues. She was my best friend, we would spend everyday talking and playing games together. I never got tired of her and missed her when we were apart. I miss the warmth that she brought to me, and it still pains me that she's gone. I don't resent her at all for her decision. Sex is an important part of a relationship to most people. I wish it was for me too.
I masturbate about once every two days. I'm not too worried about finding a relationship right now. I don't need one to be happy. I'm just trying to figure myself out, because I'm sure you've noticed, I'm not exactly the norm.
Getting into a relationship right now would just be irresponsible on my part, and both parties may get hurt for no reason.
i can totally understand that. i never understood the concept of seeking out a relationship (or rather i did, but later realized it wasnt a healthy approach to relationships)
do you until you see a reason to do otherwise. good luck anon. its nice to finally talk to someone on here who isnt whiny as fuck
You sound like someone that may prefer masturbation over sex, and this will destroy any relationship you have until you get help. I wouldn't necessarily say it's low T, because even when my guy had low T (he looked like a woman before he got treatment), he was always horny and wanted sex. Issues came about occasionally where he couldn't hold an erection, but he still wanted sex regularly.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'll never have a functional relationship. I'm very compassionate in other areas, and I'm sure there's other asexuals out there that feel as I do.
But honestly if I never find someone to be with, that's fine too. I'm fine on my own. For me, relationships are more of a want than a need.
I did once, but she got really embarrassed and shy with me staring at her. She didn't like it because she said it was more like a performance rather than true intimacy. I understood that so I never asked that of her again.
>I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'll never have a functional relationship.
What I meant to say is: You'll have a rough time if you try to date people normally. But if you go online in search of asexuals, you may have some luck.