He /adv/, first time I'm posting here. My question is: Is it okay to be boring?
I know that I'm not funny at all, it rarely happens that friends laugh about my jokes or they don't understand them at all. I'm shit at meming, I mostly just lose my spaghetti whenever I try it.
I already came to accept this when I was younger because not even my brother finds my jokes funny and I know that I have other qualities that people like about me.
But it still bothers me when people point out that I'm boring and also chaotic. I like myself this way but I think I care too much about other people's opinions. Whenever they point out significant flaws about my character I feel embarrassed.
Have you guys experienced such situations? Any useful advice that will make ne stop from over thinking? I know I can't get not boring, so that option is out.
>pic: semi related to my feels.
Most people are naturally funny and it's definitely an asset, but it's not the only thing that makes people attractive. From your whole post you sound like you second-guess and overthink too much when you're in a social situation, maybe if you stopped being so self-conscious things would flow more easily
Watch stand up comedy and learn from it. Banter with funny people.
I'm funny because I watch massive ammounts of comedy and listen to stand up. In fact I do open mic stand up.
Being funny can be learned but some people are better than others naturally. What helped me is having a friend who is as witty as I am and yes-anding each other.
Well, I mean that I am definitely a bit boring but it's not necessary a bad thing, right? People do not only like someone for their humor after all.
But I have the feeling that some people don't want to talk to me because I make bad jokes, but maybe that's just my subjective view.
It just makes me feel so bad to get the "I'm sorry but your boring" or "that wasn't funny at all" sometimes..
boring =/= humorless. you can still be an interesting person without being funny. interesting covers everything. humor is just one facet.
that being said, no humor is not everything. this day and age everyones a comedian, so its a bit more rough. good times are now about having a laugh. but its not everything. surround urself with funny friends and be a cool guy and they wont care about much else.
as far as girls go, stop trying to make jokes. its better to be humorless than it is to be a clown.
Hmm, I'm like this since forever actually, even in primary school I've had a problem with this.
I do actually have a witty friend I always banter with and what I really like are word plays. We could spend hours on doing this and it still would be some great fun.
But people irl or even on the internet often don't appreciate these. They either get offended, end up looking at me as if I was weird or just don't get it..
You just need to work on the delivery. A grin and body language goes far. Have open body language when you joke. And don't make obscure references like you would with your friends.
Occasionally I get a cunt who doesn't like my jokes and I'll usually just make fun of them.
Also change your attitude. People should prove themselves to you, not the other way around. Who the fuck are they? You'll be a lot happier with that mindset than having to worry if you're good enough for them.
Well, sometimes the people telling me that I am boring seem to be boring themselves. When you try to talk to them they reply with incoherent answers and probably expect me to get a conversation going. And when I'm actually trying so they find it boring. Guess in that certain case it's actually their fault.
I am not humourless, I actually laugh about pretty much everything.
I also have the problem that when I'm trying to express myself I spagetthi, which doesn't help people understanding my jokes. I'm not even trying hard to make them up. I do often just make these comments everyone does. Sometimes they're apparently offensive though...
Don't worry about offending people.
>at concert with bud
>he brings his hipster chick fuckbuddy
>they tie their sweatshirts around their waists
>joke that it's like booty armour and I wish I had one
>she goes on a tirade about not needing to have that if men didn't feel entitled to womens bodies
>tell her "You know who really felt entitled to women's bodies? Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. He was like, that's mine now."
>she doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night (thankfully)
Chicks have out of control egos because men like my bud put up with their bullshit for pussy. So they get away with spewing dumb shit all the time.
To be honest I think baby boomer/ over 40 women are usually worse. Since they grew up in the age of the stay at home wife with a slave-husband providing for them as well as the age of 2nd wave feminism they have the hugest sense of entitlement and ego as if the sun rose and set on their cooters. Anyone will tell you be it entertainment or business that middle aged women complain the most and expect the most.
Being 'boring' is not bad by necessity, you're the one who has attached value to it. It is ok, as long as you are personally ok with it. The keystone of happiness is acceptance. This has been known for over 2000 years.
You will never be able to control others' opinion of you, and even if you were to radically change everything about yourself, you may still be judged by their old opinions unfairly, or might get called a poser or tryhard or whatever other insult. The end result,even if their opinions change the way you want, is more anxiety about others' opinions in general, more fear of rejection, more discomfort with who you are because of your denial of your true nature and, in short, more internal suffering.
Be yourself is the worst, most stagnating advice there as ever been.
Be who you want to be, my nigga. Work to get there. You think op can't learn to be funny and confident? That's pathetic advice. That's like the idiots who think retiring early is a good thing. All retirement is is waiting to die, you had better have made your mark before you hang up the boots. I don't want to stop improving and learning and changing anytime soon, comprende sista?
It is perfectly fine to be boring and not funny as long as you are not actively unfunny (so stop making shitty jokes) or actively trying and failing to engage people ("Hey can I talk to you about my stamp collection?").
You can make anything interesting if you know how to talk about it with excitement and passion.
Even a stamp collection is interesting in its own way. I don't have one but I could see why people would like it. It's having a piece of history and a piece of art. Each one usually has a story and commemoration begind it.
Truely all you need to be interesting to talk to is passion and cohesion.
OP, you should also take a writing course to learn to better articulate your opinions.
Actually a friend told me that apparently I have "some kind of magic". When I talk about something very simple like daily stuff or something boring in general, it seems to interest people even though they don't care about it. They said that the way I'm doing it is pretty comfy. I guess that's a quality of mine.
I've actually done a literature course for a year when I was at school. Apparently I wrote funny satirical texts and the teacher that did the course was surprised about my writing style because she knew that I'm not that good at expressing myself orally.
A theatre course would probably more helpful.