The condom broke and now I'm pregnant. Bf wants to keep

>>16872680
are you two in a situation where raising the baby is a possibility?

why is your bf against aborting? i'm assuming he wants you two to care for it?

You'll have to pay child support

>>16872680
Jesus Christ. You are one cold bitch.

>>16872680
Your boyfriend is retarded. Just dump him and abort it. If you stay with him, you can bet the condom will "accidentally" break again.

>>16872686
>are you two in a situation where raising the baby is a possibility?
Technically, we got both jobs and are stable financially. But a baby would require time I am not willing to take away from my current life.

>why is your bf against aborting?
Didn't ask him.

>i'm assuming he wants you two to care for it?
Well he won't because to care for it I'd need time I am not willing to take away from other stuff.

>inb4 OP changes her mind

>>16872680
If you don't want a baby then don't have a baby. You're not even married for Christ's sake! Get an abortion and have one when you're ready and prepared for it and you know the father is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

>>16872680
do what you wanna do with it. abort it or give it up for adoption. leave him either way.

>>16872703
how do you know he wants to keep it then? people do a 180 real quick on their morals when they are met with the dilemma.

>I am willing to carry the pregnancy to term IF I am guaranteed that once it's out of me I won't have anything whatsoever to do with it anymore.

don't do this.

>>16872717
>don't do this
Why not?

This is, to some extent, what adoption is for. Look up safe-haven laws in your area.

But what is it that your boyfriend wants, when you say he wants to "keep the baby"? Is it really just that he doesn't want to abort, or does he actually want to raise the child? This could seriously complicate things.

Is this real?? Abort. Your qualifier on carrying the baby to term is (a)highly unlikely (surprise! adopted kids want to meet their birth parents), and (b)you have a qualifier on carrying the baby to term(!!).
You ready to not drink for 9 months?

>>16872680
if you take care of it early enough, abortion consists of a pill or two instead of a procedure. i suggest you get on that. carrying a pregnancy to term will ruin your body and drastically reduce your chances of finding a decent man in the future

>One parent does not want the baby
If the father does not but the mother does, generally speaking if you absolve him of financial duties you should keep it.

If the mother does not but the father does, the mother holds more weight here because it is your life, your physical well being, and your pain and struggle to bring that child into the world. So you don't have to have it.

This is biased but it is a fact of biology.
If you don't want the baby, abort it.
There's always time for him to help make another.

>>16872895
>adopted kids want to meet their birth parents
Why don't people just tell adopted kids 'your parent did not want you so fuck off and don't bother them'?

I mean adopted kids can go look for parents when they're adult, so as adults they should able to get they're not wanted.

Just have an abortion, his opinion doesn't hold nearly as much weight as yours as its your body and life etc.

Abortion threads on here always turn into shitshows. I'd advise you to take everything you read on here with a grain of salt; a lot of it's going to be pushing an agenda.

I'm going to be straight with you. Based on what you've told us, which admittedly isn't much, I can foresee several ways this could turn out very messy for you if you do have the child.
>IF I am guaranteed that once it's out of me I won't have anything whatsoever to do with it anymore.
If your boyfriend keeps the child you simply can't guarantee this.

If you want somebody else to adopt the child (aka not your boyfriend/the father) ... well, you probably won't be able to do that, over his objections. Not unless he's a pedophile or heroin addict or something.

Realistically, if you have the child, I don't think it's going to get a fair shot at life, growing up in a (I'm assuming low income) single parent household, AND I think it's likely a decision that's going to directly affect you, financially, emotionally, and socially, for better or for worse, for the rest of your life.

Unless you believe abortion is murder, it's probably the most responsible, most humane option available to you. If you're not sure whether abortion is murder, please figure it out on your own, find some no-nonsense resources online and read up. DON'T listen to the bile people spew on here about it -- forget morals and ethics, most of them just have the actual facts about it wrong.

Best of luck.

>>16873047
>If your boyfriend keeps the child you simply can't guarantee this.

Not even with breaking up and a restraining order?

Does no one know about the morning after?
Why didnt you go buy it once you found it broke?

YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE

WHO CARES WHAT THE MAN THINKS, KILL THE BABY


THERE AREN'T TWO SIDES TO A STORY, JUST YOURS

>>16872680
Get an iud next time idiot

>>16873060
You understand, right, that women can get saddled with child support payments too? It's not exclusively a male thing. As for restraining orders, you can ask any woman who's had a stalker how flimsy those can turn out to be, and even if your ex respects your wish to be left alone for the next eighteen years there's a pretty solid chance that when they come of age they'll want to find you, maybe get to know you, and perhaps ask you a couple very pointed questions.

This post is starting to verge on legal advice, which I'm not qualified to give and which depends heavily on where you live, but basically, no. If you utterly refuse to have a part in raising the child then nobody can force you to, but I'd bet a lot of money it'll affect your life in at least a few major ways. I mean, think, dude -- you really think you can create a person and experience no repercussions from that action at all?

>>16872696

OP don't listen to this asshole.

>>16872723
because giving up your baby is a neverending source of bawww, you might not think it will be but its simply biology that forces you to want to protect MUH BABY, a very large percentage of women who carry to term end up backing out of adoptions because once they hold their kid they can't bring themselves to give it up.

>>16872680
Condoms break. You should have taken pills.
It's your fault, now be responsible fr your baby instead of killing him.

>>16872680
I'm sorry that you're stuck in this situation, Anon. I can only imagine how rough this must be.

I am in complete support of someone having an abortion, if they feel it's necessary. But at the same time, if it's a life that one of the contributors actually wants, then I'm in support of you having the child. So, there's pros a cons to either situation. I DO believe, if you're willing to carry the pregnancy, that you should.

If you have parental figures in your life, you should talk it over with them. It's possible that they can help you out in this situation. I'm not saying to pawn it off on them. I'm saying to ask for their advice, and see if they're willing to help you. You need to make sense, for yourself, what you should do. And you might need help of people that know you personally, to do that.

>>16873339
Don't be a fucking asshole. The pill isn't an option for everybody, and even when it is, it's reasonable to not want to pump artificial hormones into your body. Some people get side effects. She used protection.

>>16873361
Yes and no. Biggest issue with the pill-after is that it might not work if the cycle is right and the girl is ovulating right exactly the day the condom breaks.
But the "hormone"-cocktail is nowhere near as bad as being pregnant, because that shit nwill fuck your hormone household up.

>>16872971
That's harsh. I think most parents thought that they could have a better life elsewhere.

>>16873060
Oh my god there are far more, less having-a-baby ways to break up with your boyfriend. Yikes.

>>16873361
>not want to pump artificial hormones into your body.
they're real hormones identical but in much lower quantities to the ones that she is currently flooded with because she's pregnant
>Some people get side effects.
she's pregnant
>She used protection.
she's pregnant

>>16872680
Your not ready to have a baby, so dont. Not for your sake, for their sake.

>>16873267
The irony of this
>>16873298
She is a cold bitch

>>16872680
>I am willing to carry the pregnancy to term IF I am guaranteed that once it's out of me I won't have anything whatsoever to do with it anymore.

You are clearly not fit to be a parrent

>>16872680
>I am willing to carry the pregnancy to term IF I am guaranteed that once it's out of me I won't have anything whatsoever to do with it anymore.
It's an absolute miracle than any woman ever has more than one kid. Have you ever seen a womans body after she becomes a mother? Sure, a small fraction of them look ok when they're dressed, but trying to have sexy time with a woman who's got so many stretchmarks that her stomach looks like a freshly ploughed field is going to be a no go for all but the most desperate men who have no other options.

This isn't the time for flopping around like a wet lettuce OP. Being half hearted simply isn't good enough in your situation. Get in there and fish the little bastard out with a coat hanger before it fucks up your life entirely.

>>16872680
Do not go through with the pregnancy. It is as simple as that really. You obviously are not ready to commit to your boyfriend and starting a family. And you should not make risky propositions about having the baby and then not being involved. There are so many ways that can end up going terribly. You should be honest with your boyfriend and confident with your decision. You can always explain to your boyfriend that you are not ready now but you may be sometime in the future (if thats the truth). Seriously dont ruin your life because of this.

>>16872680
Go get an abortion and tell him you miscarried, depending on your state you might still get hammered with paying child support, best of luck to you.

>>16872971
For some adoptees it's a pure curiosity thing. They want to know where they come from, what kind of people their biological parents are. Sometimes it's for medical reasons. Not everyone that puts a child up for adoption just want that child to fuck off.

>>16872680

If you dont want the baby. Abort it. You're the pregnant one so in the end it comes down to you, but this is where communication plays a crucial role.

Talk to him, tell him at this point, you are not mentally ready to raise a child. If you're relationship is good, he'll be upset and come to terms with the decision (or not and then he may dump you)

>>16872680
First time I've heard of a guy not wanting to abort a 500k piece of flesh.

If you have the kid now you will love it, but will also resent it somewhat. Despite whatever delusion your boyfriend has about parenthood, there is no possible way he understands how difficult and taxing it is to deal with a baby. Free time, sleep, romance, and basically your whole life goes out the window, at least for a little while.

If you're a relatively good person, think it over for a week, and if you're still resolute on aborting, explain to your bf that you have made up your mind and terminate the pregnancy. He may leave you, but that will be his prerogative. It's understandable that he'd be upset, but ultimately it is your body and your life.

Alternatively, if you're a piece of shit you could get the abortion in secret and claim you miscarried.

>>16872971
>Why don't people just tell adopted kids 'your parent did not want you so fuck off and don't bother them'?
Because it's way more complex than that. Sure OP isnt interested in her kid, but lots of people give their child away because they don't think they should be trusted with that sort of responsibility, or can't afford it.

>>16874084
>be confident with your decision

It will haunt you for the rest of your life. I know multiple women that have had abortions and every single one of them is haunted by it. Some of them are in their 60s and still regret it deeply. You will too. So which one is better? Having a kid and dealing with it or having the emotional anguish of what you did weighing on you until your dying days?

Also, there's literally no chance your relationship works now. Even if he didn't want the baby, but especially if he does. From experience, he will always have in the back of his head that you killed his child. Even if he is holding your hand all the way to the room where they chop it up and suck it out, he will see you as the child killer. In my case, I honestly, really honestly tried to get over those feelings, but in the end, she did kill my child against my wishes and I couldn't ever really forgive her.

Getting the abortion is a lose-lose in relation to your relationship and to your mental well-being, but a "win" in relation to being able to continue your life the way you currently have it set up.

Not getting the abortion is a win-win in relation to your relationship and to bringing a life into the world (which will change you and your perspective completely) but it's tough as well. I hate my kid's mom and our relationship is tough and drives me crazy, but there's not a thing in the world I would trade my son for. Especially not the ability to go back and not have him.

>>16872680
>abortion
I really wish that you die of cancer in the most painful way. Slowly degrading until you are begging for someone to take your life and as you shit the bed regret all that you have done.

>>16874339
I guarantee you that you know a lot more women who have had abortions and not told you about it. Everyone who I have known who has had one (including myself) is fine with it. The catch is that every woman I know has had one has told almost no one except myself and their significant others.

The ones who are bothered by it talk about it, those that aren't, don't.
OP strikes me as the type who gives no shits.

When I come into power, people like you will become castrated, and thrown into a secluded sweatshop to work as a subhuman slave till you dropped.
completely nulling the fact that its in all ways wrong, Your an absolute waste of a human being and only serve to lessen our species as a whole.
Whether you believe in faith, you're wrong,
whether you believe in evolution, you're wrong.
whatever the fuck you low down good for nothing bag of skin hold to be true, you're wrong.
the 1 simple truth is that sex is for breeding, with a side effect of pleasure to entice you to do it. That means, if you're not prepared to raise a pure innocent child, don't have sex.
I would call you a whore but you're not even on the same level as a regular human being. You're one of those lesser/subhumans.
The sole purpose of my writing this, is maybe it will hit you hard enough to cause self inflicted death, so our species won't be tainted with your absolute stupidity.
Fuck you, get off of this forum for simple advice, and work on your fucking life you good for nothing piece of shit.

File: outta.jpg (70KB, 846x846px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 846x846px

>>16872680
Get the fuck off of this site and learn how to become an actual human. I'm a sociopath and I'm above you. You need to fucking end your life, just like how you want to end that childs.

OP here. I'll have my abortion, all things considered it's the best way. I am not willing to risk child support for a child I don't want.
To the anon who suggested the kid might come asking questions 18 years later, it's not that that bothers me. I have no problem laying down the brutal truth. But yeah a pregnacncy when you don't want it is too much pain and struggle and it involves too many risks in the future, what with my body and what with someone not respecting my will not to bothered with the kid, etc.

Thanks everyone except the insane assholes.

>>16874500
You're welcome.

A very sensible decision. Honestly aborting is no big deal when compared to the misery an unwanted pregnancy brings.

Get pregnant when youre ready and enjoy a happy life.

>>16874478
This kind of retard knows s/he would've been aborted if the option was available without persecution, hence it's dogma.

>>16874398
well that's not edgy at all

>>16873267
funny how you cunts don't say "your wallet" as well but instead you make the government and men pay for you child.

>>16874500
Probably the right decision. There are way too many unwanted children in this world already.

>>16872680
Holy fuck leave NOW.
A baby is a leaving BREATHING thing.

Ask him why he's against.

If you really wanted to you could break up with him and just remove the cluster of cells.

>>16874500
So you didnt wanted advice. You wanted people to agree with you.


Ps, you're a whore

>>16872680
>I am willing to carry the pregnancy to term IF I am guaranteed that once it's out of me I won't have anything whatsoever to do with it anymore.
Nothing can guarantee you that, OP. Also, the social pressure will all fall on you, just like it's falling on you now, and that will last much longer. So abort if you want to, you owe your boyfriend no satisfaction.
In fact, until there's a way to transfer fetuses into men for them to enjoy pregnancy, none of them should interfere in an abortion decision.

>>16874594
>You're a whore

>Why don't I have a girlfriend?

>>16874434
And let me guess, you kept your virginity for marriage and bred with one superior woman?

>>16874605
do you faggots enjoy sacrificing your babies to some deity?

The way some people talk, you'd think every woman has had 10 abortions each.
Do you really think people think risking their own health and life in a shady procedure that kills thousands every year is the "easy way out"?

>>16874631
Carrying to term and giving birth is much more dangerous and likely to be lethal than getting an abortion.

File: image.jpg (100KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 250x250px

> step 1 get coat hanger
> step 2 acquire vacuum
> step 3 scramble baby with hanger
> step 4 turn on vacuum and SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOJSHFJVDTG

>>16874500
This is the right choice. Not an easy one, but the right one.

>>16874631
This is a pretty odd post from somebody who appears to support the right to have an abortion. It's not a shady procedure, it's a very safe one; the death rate is substantially (something like 15 times) lower than the death rate from complications during childbirth. Also more than 15 times lower than the death rate associated with general anesthesia. Lower than the death rate from many other routine procedures. The death rate is approximately 0.6 per 100,000 and is still declining; in any given year there's likely to be under 10 deaths from abortions in America, out of the approx. one million abortions in the country every year, and depending on who's doing the counting (it's not always easy to tell whether the death was *caused* by the abortion, especially if there were preexisting health problems involved) even that number may be too high.

>>16874652
it's not really that dangerous these days. this is just something women say to make martyrs of themselves.

>>16872680
no, absolutely do not have the child. you will grow to hate the child, who does not deserve it, as well as your boyfriend for putting you in the situation and the inevitable restrictions on your life. people will call you 'horrible' for it, but you're not horrible for wanting to live a fulfilling life.

no matter how much you don't want to be a part of this child's life, it's going to be inescapable. live your life now, while you can. build your future, focus on YOU. if your boyfriend wants a baby so badly, tell him he'll have to wait. otherwise get ready to find someone else.

>>16874664
>it's not really that dangerous these days
it is compared to an abortion

>>16874663
>>16874652
I apologize for the misunderstanding. Where I'm from, abortion is illegal, and yes, very shady, and dangerous. Not to say childbirth is much better. There's been an increasing number of reports of doctors making use of unnecessary, violent and downright cruel procedures in hospitals. Where I live, being pregnant is just a horrible thing no matter what you choose.

>>16874678
Ah, I see. Well yeah, back-alley abortions are incredibly dangerous.
>>16874664
The risk of dying is pretty low, but the risk of getting a bunch of complications like incontinence is pretty high.

>>16874678
No problem, I just didn't want anybody to be scared away from one for the wrong reasons (Although obviously it's a very serious decision even when done for the right reasons.) I'll admit I'm curious where you live.

>>16874339
Personally know at least one person still living in regret of their abortion. (20+ years later)

>>16872680
you need to know right now if you won't have to deal with the baby once it's born. we are talking about abortion, so the sooner the better. otherwise it's your body, and this is happening inside your body. do what you feel is better for you.

>asking 4chan for advice on a major life choice.

Don't you have anyone else to talk to?

>>16872680

Just abort it

>>16874523
>killing someone's baby
>no big deal

God, I wish you were standing in front of me right now.

>>16874665
You're missing the point here completely. She IS a horrible person for wanting to "live a fulfilling life" at the cost of another human being's life. You are also making the assumption that a baby will stop her from being able to "live a fulfilling life".

From a parent, I fucking hope none of you ever become parents. Abortion is the ultimate feminist con. "Get an abortion, it's no big deal, it'll be great!" "Kill a baby, live with it forever, take someone else's parental rights away, it'll be great!"

>>16874919
>destroying someone's good life
>no big deal

You deserve to be killed, you and your family whole.

>a baby will stop her from being able to "live a fulfilling life"
A baby right now WILL stop me feom living a fulfilling life. I don't have time for it and to make time for it I would have give up on what makes me happy and turn my life to utter shit. I don't want that. Both the baby and the father deserve to get beaten to death for wanting my ruin.

>>16875044
Slow clap for female logic in a nutshell. Thank you, thank you very much.

mememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememe!

>>16875044
Do the world a favor and make sure they get extra special far up there with their "tools" so you don't get the chance to kill anyone else with your selfish, pathological vagina. kthx

>>16875055
Male logic, as inferred by this thread

everyoneshouldjustslaveawayformewhocaresaboutthemI'mtheonlyonethtmatterswhocaresifyourlifeturnstoshit

>>16875074
Male logic, as inferred by this thread:
Deal with your problems like an adult and live with your mistake, don't take the easy, murderous way out.

FTFY

>>16875067
I know undesirables like you are desperate and aware you only have one shot at offspring but RIGHT NOW doesn't mean NEVER. I can have other children. I will likely have a child, in the future, with a better man.

>>16875123
My mistake? What mistake? It's his mistake, it was his condom that broke. Transfer my uterus to him and he can live with it. That's not possible? Well then I won't pay for his mistakes. You don't live with mistakes, that's retarded. You correct them and I abortion here is the best correction possible. Live like an adult means live at your best, not turn your life to shit.

>>16875124
>wahh you disagree with me!
>you must be ugly pathetic virgin guy!

Got one, got another on the way. Best thing in the fucking world. Please be forever tortured by your murder.

>>16875135
>deflecting shared responsibility

Yes, you clearly dindunuffin.
Female logic part 2: electric bugaloo

>>16875123
What's wrong with taking the easy way out?

Is it schadenfraude? You are miserable so you want others to be miserable as well?
No way I accept that. I'd rather beat and abuse any child or man that tried to do that. They deserve it for being this evil to me.

>>16874919
So I could laugh good naturedly at your naivety and then teach you the wise ways of the world and how it functions with compassion and tolerance everywhere except in the USA Bible Belt.

Yeah, I'd like that.

>>16874934
I have several kids. I totally support abortion at an early term for physical, financial and social reasons.

It's NOT a child yet. It's NOT a baby yet. It's a akin to a parasite and easily, safely removed.

>>16875139
Are you saying women in relationships should not have sex with their partners so that the partners can leave them or cheat on them?
>inb4 marriage
Marriage changes nothing. If a married woman doesn't want kids for ten years, do you expect the husband to just not have sex with his wife?

>>16872680
I'm fine with pro choice and all but what really disgusts me about OP is how she says she'd carry it to full term.

>if she has nothing else to do with it.

Fuck you, you useless cunt. You're willing to ruin a child's life and make it wonder why its real mother never loved it. You're disgusting, and your boyfriend is just trying to take responsibility for your mutual fuck up.

And you other fucks better not tell me she couldn't use spermicide or something as a precaution. I honestly hope OP dies alone without any contact in her final days. How the hell could you be so barbaric to something you failed to prevent?

tldr; op kill self

>>16875546
I can't use spermicides, the cause my vagina irritations. I've found the pill works best for me for efficiency * efficacy + practicality but my ex tried to snatch it away from me.

>>16875546
What's so shocking about people hating something that threatens to drag their life down?

>you failed to prevent
OP says the condom was there. Spermicide causes irritations and female condoms are not safe since they tend to get lost inside the body. Not her fault his condom didn't work.

>>16874434
*you're

>>16872680
Since it is your body, i'd say you should get an abortion if that's what you want, regardless of what your bf thinks

If this is a serious relationship you can still try to have a baby when you both feel ready

>>16875742
>>16875735

Do you suffer a mental deficiency? In what world do you adamantly despise children yet only use a condom? They're known to break, like holy fuck.

OP constantly wails "it was his condom that broke, not my fault" which irks me. Sex is between two consenting people and while your boyfriend didn't mean to knock you up your lucky he didn't just dip. He wanted to act like he'd be there. He's mature, unlike her.

>>16875864
Birth control doesn't work the same for everyone and spermicide does more damage than good. You can thank religion propaganda for demonizing the pill which is the best birth control available out there.

>He wanted to act like he'd be there. He's mature, unlike her
He'd be there to what, ruin her life chances with a baby she doesn't want? If he wanted to be there he'd do what is best for her which is supporting the abortion rather than pretend she gets saddled with a burden of misery she doesn't want. It is not mature to be so selfish as to demand your partner give up her life for your sperm.

Carry the baby. If you are religious you should do it because that's the moral thing to do. If you arent religious and believe in evolution you should carry the baby cuz that's the reason you are alive and if you don't carry the baby you are useless to humanity and don't deserve to live.