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>i'm at university, on my way to...
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>i'm at university, on my way to the library
>some random guy i don't know says hi, compliments me on my look
>we start having a short conversation about what we study and so on
>he's cute
>he asks if i want to have coffee
>i somehow get nervous
>"i'm sorry, but i can't, i have to go study, maybe another time? it was nice to meet you anon!"
Anons, why do I get scared when someone asks me out? Not only when the guy asking me out is a stranger, but also when they are part of my social circle. It's even worse when I know them.... I don't know what to do, I don't want to give them hopes, but also I don't want to hurt their feelings, and I'm get too weird to give it a try.... I hope I'm not the only one who gets nervous and awkward when someone shows interested in them.... sry if my English is not the best.
Also 20 yr old virgin femanon.... I wish I was trolling
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>>16872201
oh my being a girl is so hard.
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>>16872212
sorry i forgot that only guys are allowed to whine about being beta :*
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>>16872235
pls
all your problems would be solved by saying "Yes", "Sure" or "of course", then the guy would have to take care of everything afterwards. You have to do nothing else.
also what's your mother language? Either I miss the point entirely or you are whining about the silliest thing ever.
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>>16872245
I'm from Germany.
I know I should just say "yes", but, I get this weird nervous feeling, I don't know how to describe it.
I'm confused, I thought this would end once you're not a 15 anymore.
Maybe you're right and I shouldn't be complaining. It's just that I see people falling in love and being so casual about dating and so on but I chicken out everytime.
>>
I know you're shy and all that but what stops you from saying yes?You're cute enough guys approach you, cute ones. I get the sense you even want to date, if not just say that, I'm not looking for anyone right now. Whatever you do don't say yes and then cancel twenty minutes before you're supposed to meet.
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>>16872201

They are not asking to marry you, girl. When I ask somebody out, it's because I wanna see if we could have a good time together and then figure out the rest.

If things go poorly, that's just the way it is. I mean, unless you think he's a psycho, what do you've got to lose?

It's just a date.
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>>16872266
>Germany
hope you aren't dating immigrants, if immigrants are the ones you are rejecting that's actually a good thing.
You aren't really hurting anyone by rejecting people asking you up, except when you do it like this >>16872268
Also going "out" with someone means nothing, it's just see how you get along in a 1on1 circumstances you aren't forced to do anything you don't want to do. So be critical and know when to say NO.
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>>16872277
No immigrants fortunately. I try to avoid places where they could be (eg city centre & train stations after dark and so on).
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>>16872212
>>16872245

rofl.

So when you ask a girl out, you take of everything afterwards right? Right?

Oh? What that? You have no idea what to do and you don't ask girls out in the first place?

All these bitter foreveralone's who just like to whine. lmao

None of this is difficult. You ask a girl out. She says yes, or she says no. You go out, follow the flow.

You ask a guy out, he says yes, or he says no. You got out, follow the flow.

Get out of your head and go do something. Being afraid accomplishes nothing and just prevents you from getting the experience you need to not be a splurge.
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>>16872272
>>16872277
>>16872268
Thank you Anons. Maybe I just take the whole dating thing too serious
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>>16872286
guy's responsibilities
>have the guts to ask her out
>plan on where to go
>plan on when to go
>pay for everything *
>impress the girl so they could advance further in the relationship
>make sure she get safe back to her home

girl's responsibilities
>say yes
>not be too late at the place and time set by the guy
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>>16872306
Who said guys have to pay for everything?
Also, don't make the mistake of thinking that girls do not try to impress the guy. It may be subtle, but they trying to, too.
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>>16872295
Yeah coffee is minor, maybe avoid going back to their place for now. Maybe you'll like the guy. Maybe it's a culture thing, at your age dating is more for fun than seeking a life partner in the US. Not sure where you go to school.
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>>16872316
Yeah they do for sure I've had a lot of girls tell me after the first date they went out of there way to paint their nails or something, little things.
>>
I think your problem is that you are rejecting people.
Your problem is that you are being asked out by people you don't find attractive.
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>>16872316
If a guy asked a girl out he already got impressed by her without even putting effort on it.
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>>16872306
>guy's responsibilities
>>have the guts to ask her out
My GF asked me out first. I've asked out plenty of girls.
>>plan on where to go
Literally just use Yelp to find a random place near by that seems halfway interesting to me.
>>plan on when to go
Are you free Friday? So hard!
>>pay for everything *
No.
>>impress the girl so they could advance further in the relationship
Girls have to do this too. If you're boring, I'm not seeing you again.
>>make sure she get safe back to her home
What the fuck? You're not her keeper. Where the hell does this one come in? Have you been on a date in the last decade/century?
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>>16872334
>literally whiteknighting in an anonymous image board
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>>16872328
I wrote that i found the guy who asked me out cute meaning good looking.
also, i try not to judge people based on their appearance, I know that we do it automatically, but what does it help if a person is a 10/10 but boring as hell?
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>>16872340
No. Just sick and tired of all these frogs/redpills/whatever the fuck whining about how women got it easy because they're too lazy to actually put in the work to not be socially retarded and like to sit on their asses whining about everyone else instead.

I started off socially inept and didn't have my first date until my mid 20's or my first gf until 2 years after that, but I put in the work to improve myself.

You guys are just pathetic if all you can do is try to bring everyone else down.
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>>16872340
>Being so ridiculous

>>16872334 is right, that crap is not the "universal law"of relationships.
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>>16872347
personality is also part of attractiveness.
If you find someone boring it is decremented to their attractiveness..
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>>16872201
OP here again, I'm wondering, do guys find it weird when a girl is still a relationshipless virgin at the age of 20?
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>>16872295
As a german guy, quite a few girls got rejected by me, when they approached me and i was not really in the mood or they were on minimal effort. On the other hand, first dates are not threatening.

unless you have not talked through, what you both are looking for relationshipwise, avoid drinking with them or going to your or their place, because that is synonyme for having sex.

in return most other things are just getting to know each other.
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>>16872358
sorry then, I thought attractiveness was only about appearence (since in german, "attraktiv" refers mostly to the looks of someone)
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>>16872201

Was he black? arabic?
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>>16872360
What's your explanation for it?
if is something along the lines "all men are assholes" or "I'm married to our lord jesuschrist" then you might have some problems.
if your answer is something like "I just haven't met the right guy" it might go better.
however be wary, guys that usually ask girls out are the kind that enjoy more extroverted activities like clubbing and such, I'm assuming you either aren't too much into it or have never experienced. In that case you can pass as a prude if you just fluke every time someone mentions it.
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>>16872360

Not really, but I'm late bloomer so who knows. Personally, it's not the kind of thing I worry about unless we're talking about somebody's who been around enough for me to be concerned for STDs.

Quite a few guys I've known are actually into the idea of findging a "pure maiden".
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>>16872360

my personal opinion is, if you cute and have a good personality( good to talk, smart, redpilled, good values and etc.), i would give less fucks if you're a virgin or not, lacking of sexual experience is a thing that only shallow people cares about.
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>>16872360

Nah. I've even dated a couple 25 year old relationship-less virgins.

One was super religious and she was ok, the other was actually really cool (but we just had no chemistry--tried kissing her good night once,it felt like kissing a sister--which kind of bummed me out because I otherwise really liked her, and I could tell she liked me too. But chemistry is as important a thing as anything else :/).

20 is still pretty young, and perfectly understandable.
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>>16872408
>>16872404
>>16872397
well then, I guess I don't have to worry about it :)
i was just a bit afraid that it could be something that turns guys off, like some women who think guys who are virgins are weird.
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>>16872436
unlike women, men aren't soulless demons.
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>>16872441

c'mon /r9k/ chill out for once, op is cool.
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>>16872396
i'm neither anti-men nor a fundamentalist, so i guess the answer would be i haven’t met the right one yet, caused by me being afraid of dating :D
i do like going out every now and then, but i'm not into heavy partying.
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>>16872436

>some women who think guys who are virgins are weird.

because this is somehow true, virgins tend to be extremely clingy and needy with girls that shows interest on them and if a girl is looking for nothing more than just sex she will just avoid most of the time, but if the girl is genuinely interested in you as a partner like my gf was, she will look at this at a plus and will love to "teach" you stuff.
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OP here, I'm not sure if it's a thing on /adv/ to thank people, but thank you anons for replying. I'll try to be more relaxed about dating and taking it as a chance to get to know people.
Also, thank you for telling me how you think about girls still being virgin. It's something I'd be too ashamed too talk about with people irl. (i know it's nothing to be ashamed of, but still, only my good friends know about it. most of my friends just guess i think, since they know i've never had a boyfriend)
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>>16872522
Actually thanking is good and does happen. It lets everyone know you didn't abandon the thread and at least read most of the reasonable replies.
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>>16872306
Are you from the 50's ?
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>>16872360
I would not fucking care at all.
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>>16872360
I wouldn't put a hard number on it, but definitely sometime in your 20s. There was this cure Filipina girl I knew and she was either never in a relationship or a virgin. One of her friendstold me this, and he thought it was weird. I Hurst figured she was really religious.

Anyway OP, I'm 30-something guy and still virgin (partly by choice now - financial logistics if I got a girl pregnant. I don't think there's anything weird with you being a virgin. I'm going to assume you haven't met the right guy yet. Am I correct?
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>>16872201
Girl Trust me. Guys are more scared to talk to you than you are to them. Just remember that they came to you. If they ask you out and you actually want to remember to breath and say yes.
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>>16872201
You may have a little bit of social anxiety
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>>16872201
Dude here,
The other day this girl approached me and complimented me, and that's the first time in a million years that's happened. I felt really awkward because she also seemed like my type, but she left with this big black Jamal lookin' motherfucker.

Why do chubby girls always gotta fuck black dudes?
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